Original subtitles

KUNG FU ROOKIE

The magic air of Almaty!

Nephew!

Hello, Uncle!

Welcome!

- How was your trip? - Great.

- Okay, let's go. - Hang on, first things first.

I need to go to the police academy to submit my documents.

The police academy? The police academy it is!

Great to see you!

Let's go!

Hey, you lost your marbles?

This door is broken. Why would you jump in too?

Old habits die hard.

You are in Almaty, quit fooling around!

Who dropped this, uncle?

This is my hankie.

You use a lady's handkerchief?

Mind your business!

Well, what are you up to?

I'm hoping to join the police academy.

Then graduate with honors

- and start a career here. - And then?

Settle in, buy a house,

get married and so on.

Then?

Get a good job, support my parents.

Then...

Nephew, I'll tell you what.

Stop, here we are!

This is the building, nephew.

Couldn't we grab a taxi, uncle?

Do you have tons of cash for taxis?

Prices are highway robbery here.

Here. Best of luck!

Okay, thanks!

- Wish me luck! - Break a leg!

I should've gotten this door fixed.

Excuse me, Captain?

May I ask you where admissions is?

- Down the hall, to your right. - Thank you.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Take off your clothes, please. - Me?

Yes, you. Please undress.

The quicker, the better.

We have millions like you here every day.

Sign here, please, and on the last one.

On the 28th, fitness test.

On the 29th, medical test.

Then you are free.

And today?

Today go home...

or go for a walk in the park.

You won!

You won, I'll buy you lunch.

Get dressed quicker, please.

Goodbye.

Did you see the look in his eyes?

Petrified!

Wow.

You must have left them speechless at the academy!

I got naked thinking it's for a medical test.

Don't worry, at least it's something to joke about! Come on in.

Wow, uncle, great house!

Thank you. It's my savings of 15 years.

Like in a movie.

Uncle! You got married and didn't tell us?

Ignore those pics.

You don't know them. Neither do I.

They were the previous owners. I need to get rid of them.

Oh, I see.

You're into kung fu now?

What kung fu? I'm too busy.

This is a Jackie Chan training dummy.

It's a clothes rack. I got it from a Chinese online shop.

Wow, nephew!

Cool fighting skills.

Come on, I can't catch up with you.

- Come on. - No need.

Come on.

I tell you what, nephew.

Go freshen up.

Then let's grab dinner.

Not tonight, uncle. Let's do it tomorrow. I'm exhausted.

There's nothing in the fridge but eggs.

It's up to you, man. I'm going.

I thought it was a clothes rack.

Good morning.

Can you cook?

Nephew?

Nephew!

Sorry, uncle, I didn't see you.

Do you have eyes or pies?

Please sit down, I got a delicious breakfast for us.

I'm so sorry, uncle.

It's okay, I got egg in my eye.

Okay.

Let's have tea, then we'll visit my market stall.

Check out your uncle's business.

Catch.

What a mess.

Congratulations, uncle!

This looks very successful!

Thanks, this is my stall.

Bet you'll be a millionaire soon!

Sure I will!

Take care of this. I need to switch on the water and power.

No problem.

What happened?

No worries, it'll take no time at all.

Clean up!

Tell you what. You stay here.

- I have things to take care of. - But I don't know the prices.

Check the price book over there.

Get back soon, uncle. I might mess up.

Surely you should know potatoes from carrots?

Excuse me, dear?

Hello. What can I do for you?

Is Samat around?

He'll be back soon. He went to the market.

Alright.

Are you a regular here?

You could say so. I want three kilos of potatoes,

three kilos of onions and five kilos of apples.

Okey-dokey.

Please, pick bigger ones.

Don't you dare do that anymore! Got it?

Got it.

- Thank you so much. - Please be careful.

How much do I owe you?

Five thousand.

Here you go.

Do you need any help?

- If you don't mind. - Sure.

I live nearby. Five kilometers from here.

- Really? - Just kidding.

Come on in.

- Honey, are you home? - Yes.

We have a guest. Put the kettle on, please.

Okay.

Auntie, please, there's no need.

Why? Please break bread with us.

Okay.

Auntie?

Who is it?

- Hello. - Hi.

- Honey. - Yes?

This young man is a hero.

Is he now?

He is the hero without any clothes on.

What did he do?

- I have to go. - No, no.

- A thief stole my bag. - Your bag.

He caught him and retrieved my bag!

He is a real superhero.

Just imagine if they had stolen my gold?

What would he have done?

I can't imagine.

Thanks for the treat.

I must go now. Goodbye.

What a conscientious young man.

- He's a good boy. - Oh, auntie.

He is just like my dad, a future pig.

Honey... don't call your dad a pig.

Alright. Cop's sister.

Cop's daughter.

- Cop's family. Would you like some? - Sure.

- Pity that he left. - Oh, auntie.

Get in, uncle.

Nephew.

It's great you are visiting me.

Tonight your uncle is a little tipsy.

- Are you upset? - Definitely not.

All alone, all these years.

I had to save for 15 years to buy this place.

Now, I have a house, I own a business.

But for whom is all of this?

What is the purpose of all this?

- You don't get it. - Come on, uncle.

Where is my happiness?

What kind of life is this?

Samal says we need to get engaged.

Who is it?

Why?

She wants us to have a wedding with all the bells and whistles.

Aren't we too old for that?

Try to get some sleep, uncle.

No hands, or what?

You did impress them.

Bravo.

Hi.

Relax.

How can I help you?

Three avocados, a kilo of apples and a kilo of cucumbers, please.

Coming right up.

By the way, my auntie is still talking about you.

Anything else?

That's it. How much?

Hang on.

Guys, please don't litter.

Bro, take this too.

Hey, stop!

Who do you think you are?

You're so brave, huh?

Haven't you learnt to respect others yet?

Let's get out of here!

You are such a superhero!

Come on.

Let me give you a hand.

Is your name Ip Man, by any chance?

Jet Li?

No, my name is Timuchin.

Alua.

- Nice to meet you. - Me too.

So you don't know who Arsen is?

Which one was Arsen?

That one with the snubbed nose.

Why, do I have to know him?

He is our local thug.

"The local Peacemaker"?

"Peacemaker?" Local troublemaker, I'd say.

He's full of himself.

I came to Almaty to join the police academy.

Right now...

I'm just helping my uncle around.

I don't know the city well yet.

Well, let's meet at the park gate at 6 pm sharp.

Let me show you around the city, okay?

And don't get me wrong, it's not a date!

Got it?

Thank you, but I am too busy now.

I need to get ready for the exams. I'm sorry I can't join you.

Once you are a student, there'll be no time for fun.

Seize the day!

And finally, dress properly. I've already seen your underwear.

Okay, see you later.

You look amazing, man.

In this suit, you'll get the girl for sure!

What's wrong with jeans and a t-shirt?

In this city, girls like guys in suits.

Come here.

Take my car.

Uncle, we are just going for a walk.

Are you living in the 90s, man?

I'm telling you, girls in Almaty prefer guys with cars.

Who wants to ride the bus?

What do you mean? The Almaty girls are not into normal guys?

How would I know? Ask them yourself.

You held off your marriage because of this?

Watch how you talk to your uncle!

You've been getting ready for an hour.

I have things to do.

Hi, Alua.

Hey, hey. I wasn't sure you'd show up.

Well done.

- Ready to go shooting? - Shooting?

Alua, Almaty is a beautiful city! Thank you so much.

Well, that was just one percent.

You haven't seen the other 99% yet.

Look! That one is great. Let's check it out.

Are you ready?

Yep.

Great, let's go! Woo-hoo!

I got you, bro.

Did you hope to escape?

Yes!

Talk to me, Tima!

Are you scared stiff?

What's wrong? Was it too much for you?

Yes, it was. I kept my eyes closed.

Alua, shall we call it a day? It's getting late.

Okay, let's go.

Let's go, snowflake.

Shall we take this one?

Have you seen the spiders? The giant ones?

What spiders?

That Jackie Chan wannabe!

I'll get you one day!

Do you want it?

Do you all want it?

Here you go.

Better this treat than his trick.

Let's go. No, this way.

Well... why do you want to join the police academy?

Why are you asking? It's my childhood dream.

To serve my country, protect my nation.

I get it, but who is going to protect your future family?

Me.

Sure, you, of course.

You are just like my dad,

he used to say the same words to mom.

But Mom and I were in the background.

I rarely saw my dad.

I was always work, work. Trips...

Once he became a colonel, we never saw him.

Ever.

Even when mom died,

he was not there.

I can't believe it.

I spilled my guts to you.

To be honest, I dreamed of becoming Jackie Chan.

No kidding?! How come?

I used to have his films on all day.

I watched one of his films 20 times in one day.

Really?

I know all about his film stunts.

Show me, come on.

Can you do more?

Hang on.

Are you saying you learnt all his stunts?

Teach me some tricks.

It's not easy to get it right the first time.

Come on.

Okay, let me show you one.

Hit the middle.

Let me give it a try.

- Ready? - Yep.

Show me once more.

Alua, what are you doing?

Hi, Dad.

- Hello. - Who is this?

This is my boyfriend, Timuchin.

Get inside. Quickly.

Why do you talk to me as if I am a little girl?

- I told you, get inside! - Dad!

Why would you care so much now?!

- We'll talk inside! - Dad!

Alua, do as your dad tells you.

Alright. I'm going in now.

Only because he asked me nicely.

Okay, thanks a lot. I enjoyed our time together.

See you later.

Okay, bye.

Good night.

Did you talk to your girl?

I did.

Well... when is the wedding?

Wedding? It's too soon.

We just walked around tonight.

Just talking and walking don't help.

Time flies.

College-- done. Army-- done. Why wait?

You need to get married now.

You are funny, uncle. The police academy comes first.

Then I need to find a good job and have a career. Only then can I marry.

I was like you too. And now?

My chance has passed.

Let's have a wedding, we have everything.

Your uncle has all the money you need.

I mean...

When you are in love, you lose your sleep.

All you think about is her.

You know, I had 10 girlfriends.

Where are they now? Vanished into thin air!

I am over 50 now.

Get married now. Good night.

I will sleep tight.

Don't say I didn't warn you, you won't sleep a wink!

Uncle, are you making fun of me.

When was the Constitution of the Republic of Kazakhstan adopted?

- On August 30, 1995. - That's right.

How many sections and articles does it consist of?

Nine articles and 98 sections.

When necessary, the parliament can make amendments and additions.

Correct. The next question is...

Part seven of the structure of the constitution?

The courts and the justice system.

Right, well done.

Article three, section one?

"The only source of state power is the people."

Correct.

Article seven section two?

Chop chop.

"In the Republic of Kazakhstan the official language is Kazakh."

Well done. And now...

Article nine section three?

One, two, three.

Time is up! You failed.

Push-ups, now.

Do you think taking this test on the move is easy?

Come on, no excuses.

Fifty push-ups. No, 100.

One, two, three, four.

So, shall we get ready for the exams?

What the eyes fear, the hands do.

Okay, let's get started.

Come on.

Do we need any more books?

JACKIE CHAN NEVER GROW UP

- Where did you find it? - Over there.

Yesterday it was so embarrassing with your dad.

Why?

You argued because of me, didn't you?

What do you mean? My dad is a pig.

He always talks that way, he's a tough guy.

Don't say that. Whatever he is, he's still your dad.

Don't patronize me, please.

- Are you sure you are okay? - Yes, I am okay.

How about this?

Shall we go to the movies?

Shall I pick today?

Okay, where do we go?

Okay, where do we go?

Follow me, I will show you.

He is not there.

- Are you enjoying it? - Yes. Thanks a lot.

A Jackie Chan film, just for me.

No worries. A friend of mine works here, his treat.

This apple is my treat. Very tasty.

See you later. Come back soon.

Hi, guys.

Watermelon.

Honeydew melon.

Anything you like!

Apples? They're tasty too.

Uncle, where is Jackie Chan?

Jackie Chan? Maybe in China?

Uncle, are you a comedian?

You talk funny yourself. Jackie Chan, comedian.

So what do you need? Shall I weigh the apples?

Fights just like me, doesn't he?

Hello, uncle.

- Hi. - Hello.

My uncle is here, can I see him?

- What's his name, please? - Samat Abilov.

Don't worry, everything will be okay.

He's in the ER, ward 7.

Thank you.

Hello.

I am Samat Abilov's nephew.

How is he?

Hello. Samat Abilov?

He has a concussion and chest trauma.

Can I see him?

Why are so many people coming to see him?

Please.

Alright, only one person.

- You go. - Thanks.

Thank you.

Nephew! Is that you?

How are you, uncle?

I'm feeling dizzy.

What happened? Who were they?

They were asking for you.

Bastards.

But you know your uncle.

I buttheaded one,

picked and threw another one,

and the third one...

They all attacked me.

Don't worry, you'll be okay, uncle.

Most importantly, my market stall needs fixing now.

What's wrong with it?

Haven't you seen it?

They smashed it to pieces.

Stay away from them.

Don't...

Nephew.

I am telling you, again.

Stay away from them.

Forget them.

Your health is a priority, get well soon.

- Is he gone? - Come out, Samal.

Why do we have to hide like kids?

We have to tell them.

It's embarrassing. There's no need to rush.

When the time is right, we will tell them.

As you wish.

You need to eat something.

Get some energy. Come on, get up.

Well done, darling.

Does it hurt?

It does.

There were seven or eight of them, I think.

My tiger.

- How's your uncle? - He's okay.

Do you know how to find Arsen?

I do, but why?

Let's go.

Arsen!

Stop it!

I told you. Here he is.

What does my uncle have to do with it?

Bro, don't forget where you are.

You are not human, you're animals!

No, no! I beg you, bro.

I am not your bro!

Next time, you are all dead!

What are you looking at? Clean up!

Alua, go home. I'll take care of it myself.

No way, I'll help you.

Thank you.

How do you like it?

Delicious.

Your uncle will be happy to see this.

Yeah, I bet.

Shall we go for a walk?

Are you sure? Aren't you tired?

Okey-dokey. Tell you what.

Finish yours, I'll tidy up here.

Then we leave. Okay?

And then?

A lady came complaining of some wind inside the car.

There was no windshield.

How come?

It was her husband's fault. She drove off before he fixed it.

Guys, I'm in a big hurry!

Come on, we wanna go home too.

I mean, I'm in a hurry to leave the country!

Dude, you're in hot water again, aren't you?

Shut up!

Okay, guys, see you later!

See you later, alligator!

Aleke, forgive me.

Who got the stash from me?

I did.

You wanted to ditch me?

Aleke...

Jackie Chan showed up out of the blue.

And messed it all up.

Are you kidding me?

Aleke. Aleke. Aleke.

I told you he'd be perfectly fine.

Thank you for your support.

Thank you doesn't put food on the table.

Didn't get it?

Nope. Remember my words, as soon as you graduate,

you'll be using them!

- I am not going to be like that. - Let's go.

We'll grab some doner kebab and ice- cream.

How can you eat doner kebab with ice-cream? You are crazy!

- It's delicious. - What?

It's delicious! Even better with jam.

- By the way, I finally learnt your trick. - Did you?

- Shall I? - Go ahead.

- Sure? - Bring it on!

Watch out.

So? What do you think?

- You almost got it. - What do you mean?

I practiced three days at home and at work.

Three days' practice is nothing. It took me 15 years, by the way.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. 15, 20, 25 years.

Stop bragging.

This is the last time I show you, remember.

I'm not interested any more. Not looking.

- I won't show you again. - Told you, I'm not looking.

What are you doing? Not looking.

If you want your girl alive, this is the address.

See you there, Jackie Chan wannabe.

So I am like,

"Get me a new fur coat.

Otherwise, no baby for you!"

What did he say?

No money, big mortgage, old coat, blah blah blah.

No, you need a new one.

Of course I do!

We argued and argued, and finally...

What happened?

I got pregnant!

Wow!

How cunning you are!

That was great!

Look, he is awake.

Where am I?

In Heaven!

You're on the way to the hospital.

And you have-- What was his diagnosis?

A concussion.

- A concussion. - Yeah.

Stay put. Don't move.

You can sign off on arrival. Then you are as free as a bird!

Would you hand me down your old coat?

Not sure of the new one, yet!

Are you Jackie Chan?

Who are you?

- Why? - Let her go.

I will, cool down, man.

- What's your problem? - In summary,

you damaged goods for 100 grand.

Pay up and she is yours.

I have nothing to do with your stash. Let her go.

What a bonehead.

Jackie Chan, did you lose something?

Who goes first?

Hold it for me.

Let me show you the way.

Get up! Finish him!

You are a tough one!

Didn't know you'd last this long.

Which mountain are you from, Shaolin?

None of your business.

Show me what you can do.

Come on!

Come on!

Police! Everybody down!

On the ground! Hands on your back.

Stay down! Hands on your back.

Dad!

I wasn't sure you'd come.

My duty is to protect the state and our citizens.

Don't forget you are a citizen of the state.

How did you figure out?

That young man called me.

Let me go, pigs.

Shut up! They're not pigs, but police!

There's no need, dear.

Why does he--

Well, hero. What's your name?

Timuchin!

Thank you for helping us catch these criminals.

If you hurt my daughter, you are dead!

I serve the Republic of Kazakhstan!

I solemnly swear to keep state and official secrets.

If I violate this oath, then I am ready to bear

the responsibilities established by the Republic of Kazakhstan.

I serve the Republic of Kazakhstan!

Cadets!

Congratulations on taking the oath!

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Well done! He's just like me!

Congratulations!

Would you take our photo?

Auntie, how did you manage it?

Now I see why you went to his shop so often.

I'll tell you everything later, honey.

Samal, let's go to my market.

- Are you coming home tonight? - Sure.

- Shall I get anything for you? - Nothing, it's alright.

- Okay, then. - Bye, auntie.

What auntie? Sister-in-law.

Thanks for coming.

Thank you doesn't put the food on the table.

Ice cream or lagman (Asian spaghetti)?

Pepper doner kebab with ice-cream.

Yes, ma'am!

Off we go.