Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:04,803
It seems today
that all you see
2
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:08,107
Is violence in movies
and sex on TV
3
00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:11,677
But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:14,680
On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:18,183
Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:21,553
Lucky there's a man
who positively can do
7
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,055
All the things that make us
8
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:24,390
Laugh and cry
9
00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:30,963
He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy!
10
00:00:30,965 --> 00:00:33,966
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
11
00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:41,306
Hurry, Brian,
they're gaining on us!
12
00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:49,148
Damn it,
we're surrounded!
13
00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:56,755
Crap, they got away.
14
00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:58,323
Better call the boss.
15
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,861
Damn, I'm not getting
a smoke signal here.
16
00:01:12,939 --> 00:01:14,907
Damn it, Stewie, what
the hell did you do?!
17
00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:16,408
I know, I know,
I messed up.
18
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,576
"I messed up."
19
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:18,877
You went back
to 17th-century Jamestown
20
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:20,412
and you gave guns
to the Indians.
21
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,580
And now they're
running everything!
22
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,282
I said I messed up,
all right?!
23
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:24,616
I guess I just have
24
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,051
this pathological need
to be liked.
25
00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:27,419
Well, it's not
a good trait.
26
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,787
Aw, come on.
Don't say that.
27
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,289
Let me buy you lunch.
28
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:32,624
Thanks to you, the Indians
killed all the white people
29
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:33,892
and took over America.
30
00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:35,761
I mean, you're the one
who's always saying,
31
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,029
"Never alter the past."
32
00:01:37,031 --> 00:01:38,530
Oh, come on, Brian,
let's be honest.
33
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:39,932
I frequently alter
the past.
34
00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:43,535
All right, so, I guess
we'll split the bill 13 ways?
35
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:46,438
Hey, Judas, he ordered,
like, five margaritas.
36
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,108
All you had
was a salad.
37
00:01:58,084 --> 00:01:59,451
You know, it actually
looks like
38
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,587
the Native Americans have
done all right for themselves.
39
00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:03,655
They do seem to have
a lot of shops.
40
00:02:09,929 --> 00:02:12,664
And it looks like they have
medical care as well.
41
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:15,267
Ma'am, I'm sorry,
but I've done this
42
00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:18,237
several times today, and your
husband just isn't responding.
43
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:19,938
Well, have you
tried this?
44
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:22,007
Ma'am, this is a place
of medicine.
45
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:24,276
And their popular music
is interesting.
46
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,478
And here it is,
the number one song
47
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,914
for the 10,000th week in a row,
48
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:31,083
"Huya-Huya-Huya"!
49
00:02:31,085 --> 00:02:33,685
Huya-Huya-Huya-Huya
50
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:36,622
Huya-Huya-Huya-Huya...
51
00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:37,789
Well, no matter.
52
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,591
We better restore things
to the way they were.
53
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,160
Let's go back to Jamestown
and undo...
54
00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:42,928
Oh, dear.
What? What is it?
55
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:44,062
The return pad.
56
00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:47,833
Looks like it took some
bullets during our escape.
57
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,601
Doesn't seem
to be working.
58
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:50,602
Hmm.
59
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:51,937
What?
Wha-What is that?
60
00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:53,105
What is that, "Hmm"?
61
00:02:53,107 --> 00:02:54,540
Wha-What are
you looking for?
62
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:56,441
What are you looking
for specifically?
63
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:57,476
Yeah, that's right.
64
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:59,044
But I'm afraid
our only hope
65
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:00,479
is that perhaps
the alternate Stewie
66
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:01,713
in this universe
has created
67
00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:03,515
his own time machine
that we can use.
68
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:04,616
Well, let's hope so,
69
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,118
because otherwise
they're gonna kill us.
70
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,452
Yeah, or stick us on
71
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:08,887
some kind of white
people reservation.
72
00:03:10,623 --> 00:03:12,157
Don't give them
any money.
73
00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:14,626
They're just gonna spend
it all on deviled eggs.
74
00:03:22,302 --> 00:03:24,970
Well, there's my brave warrior.
75
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:26,305
How was work today?
76
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:27,472
Oh, it was so annoying.
77
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:29,041
Everyone was coming around
with their daughters,
78
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:30,242
selling Girl Scout corn.
79
00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:33,078
Made me feel so guilty,
I had to buy, like, 20 ears.
80
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:36,481
Hey, shot in the dark, but,
uh, is anyone else in the mood
81
00:03:36,483 --> 00:03:38,483
to run really fast
in one direction?
82
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,355
Look, there it is!
83
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,591
And it looks like he has
a return pad, too.
84
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:46,992
All right, come on.
85
00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:50,095
Let's get back to Jamestown
and set things right.
86
00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:00,138
Look, there you are
giving them the guns!
87
00:04:04,677 --> 00:04:06,078
What the hell
are you doing there?
88
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,913
You told me you were
checking on the horses.
89
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,047
Well, she's a
sizeable woman.
90
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,115
That's what I meant.
91
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:16,622
All right, come on.
92
00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:17,923
We've got to get
those guns back.
93
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,591
Hey, hi,
how are you today?
94
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,026
Good to see you.
95
00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:22,561
Listen, uh, we've
just been informed
96
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:24,029
that these guns
are defective.
97
00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:25,964
Uh, we're from
the gun company.
98
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,432
Um, anyway, you know how
99
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,868
we like to take things back
from you people?
100
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,104
Well, we're gonna go ahead
and take these back.
101
00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:33,472
That's right.
We're from GunCo.
102
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:34,940
Shut up,
you're blowing it.
103
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,908
Where you taking guns?
104
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:39,611
Brian, grab
the return pad!
105
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,980
Get 'um paleface!
106
00:04:43,816 --> 00:04:46,818
They're gone.
We can talk normal now.
107
00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:52,824
Well, everything looks
like it should.
108
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,760
Only one way
to be certain.
109
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:56,762
Okay, let's do
a quick search here.
110
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:58,430
"Native American
role models."
111
00:04:58,432 --> 00:04:59,464
"Zero results found."
112
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,066
Looks like we did it, Brian.
113
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,334
Ah, thank God!
114
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:04,569
Hey, what are you gonna do
with all those guns?
115
00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:07,005
I don't know, sell 'em
to some messed up kid?
116
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,312
What the hell is that?
117
00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:14,813
Stewie?
118
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:20,852
Oh, my God!
What are you doing?!
119
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,522
This time machine has
almost killed us
120
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:24,756
a hundred times, Brian.
121
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,692
And yesterday was
just too close a call.
122
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,593
So I've decided
to get rid of it
123
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:30,262
before something
irreparable happens.
124
00:05:30,264 --> 00:05:32,097
But, Stewie,
your-your time machine,
125
00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:33,432
it's, like, your crowning
achievement.
126
00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:35,100
I-I can't believe
you'd just destroy it.
127
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:36,635
Trust me, Brian,
it's for the best.
128
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:38,937
And, hey, at least I've
had some fun with it.
129
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:40,772
Do you know what
I did last week?
130
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:42,107
I time-traveled
ahead to Christmas
131
00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:43,942
so I wouldn't have
to wait all year
132
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,544
for the new toys
to come out.
133
00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:47,479
Wow, good timing,
little fella.
134
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,114
This just came out today.
135
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:50,849
Yeah, I kind
of knew that already.
136
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,651
Would you like to donate
an extra dollar
137
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:53,885
to the Quahog Food Bank?
138
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:55,287
Oh, sure.
139
00:05:55,289 --> 00:05:57,689
And would you like to come
home and clean my toilet,
140
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,591
while we're both doing
stuff for each other?
141
00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:13,372
Well, I guess that's it.
142
00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:15,340
This is, like,
the end of an era.
143
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:16,875
Oh, sack up, you twink.
144
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,243
It's just a machine.
145
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,978
God, look at all
the perfectly good stuff
146
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,747
that people just throw out
for no reason.
147
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,248
I don't know.
It's mostly twin mattresses.
148
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:24,649
If you have
a twin mattress,
149
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:26,818
aren't you pretty much
a failure as a human being?
150
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:27,919
No, I mean it.
151
00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:29,521
Like, here, look at this
street hockey net.
152
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:30,689
It's in great shape.
153
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,924
You know, we should take this
home and set it up.
154
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,359
Get some fresh air,
get some exercise.
155
00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:36,228
Well, I suppose I could
use a new hobby
156
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,729
now that the time
machine is gone.
157
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,398
You sure you're
not gonna miss that thing?
158
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,032
Nah, I was getting
bored of it anyway.
159
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,234
You know, not every
historical event
160
00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:43,935
is all it's
cracked up to be.
161
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,871
Women, we've spent
decades fighting
162
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,406
for our right to vote.
163
00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:50,709
So, when you go to those
booths and cast your ballot,
164
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:54,513
remember, Warren G. Harding
is way the cutest!
165
00:06:55,916 --> 00:07:00,685
Oh, girls just
want to have fun...
166
00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:04,589
Okay, Brian, I'm just
putting this out there,
167
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:05,757
but I'm a baby,
168
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,093
and only dicks
don't let babies win.
169
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,594
God, look at
this day, huh?
170
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,596
You know, usually, I'd be
sitting inside writing,
171
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,365
you'd be working on one
of your machines.
172
00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:15,100
But here we are
enjoying it.
173
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,068
Yes, it is a nice change
of pace.
174
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:19,237
Oh, wait, I got to go
grab my knee pads.
175
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:21,406
I was using them for...
for-for this other thing.
176
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:23,108
Anyway,
I'll be right back.
177
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,447
Brian, look out!
178
00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:34,486
Ah, Brian!
179
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,455
Oh, my God!
180
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:39,891
Brian! Brian, can you hear me?!
181
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:42,994
Holy crap!
What the hell happened?!
182
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:45,130
That guy sucked.
183
00:07:52,271 --> 00:07:54,940
Mom, is Brian gonna be okay?
184
00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:56,274
I don't know, Meg.
185
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:58,610
But this is the best
veterinarian in Quahog.
186
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:00,812
Brian's getting
the finest care there is.
187
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,181
He had to share the ambulance
with a chicken.
188
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:06,284
Um, aren't you supposed
to be running around?
189
00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:07,652
Don't talk to me.
190
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,422
You have a bad reputation
in the chicken community.
191
00:08:10,424 --> 00:08:11,923
Doctor, how is Brian?
192
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,425
Is he gonna be okay?
193
00:08:13,427 --> 00:08:16,161
I'm so sorry, Mrs. Griffin,
but Brian's injuries
194
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,497
are just too severe
for us to save him.
195
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,599
I don't know
how much longer he has,
196
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:23,401
but I suggest that you all go in
and say your good-byes.
197
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:40,785
Oh, my God!
198
00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:41,987
Brian, no!
199
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,488
I can't believe it.
200
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:45,156
Y-You're really...
201
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:46,958
Damn it, Brian,
you can't die!
202
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,060
We were gonna do
so many things together.
203
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,328
We were gonna become
windsurfers.
204
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,564
I was gonna be
a little better than you,
205
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,065
but we were both
gonna be good!
206
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:57,302
You guys,
I think, I think
207
00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:59,070
Brian's trying
to say something!
208
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:04,175
You... you've given me
a wonderful life.
209
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:06,111
I love you all.
210
00:09:13,419 --> 00:09:16,187
I'm sorry, he's gone.
211
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,323
Oh, my God, he's...
212
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:21,726
Yes, Chris, I'm afraid...
213
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:24,729
I'm afraid that
our Brian is dead!
214
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,595
Guys, I'm gonna need a few
minutes alone upstairs.
215
00:09:56,597 --> 00:10:00,131
I got to do, like,
a-a sad yank.
216
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:02,233
Stupid street hockey.
217
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:04,302
I wish we never went
to that dump.
218
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:05,870
Oh, this is all my fault.
219
00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:08,640
I'm the one who had to throw
away the damn time machine.
220
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:10,075
Wait a minute. That's it!
221
00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:12,243
I've just got to rebuild
the time machine,
222
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,446
and then I can go back
and save Brian!
223
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:20,051
Oh, happy birthday, Neil!
224
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,256
Stewie! How are you?
225
00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:27,959
Oh, not well, Yusuf.
I need your help.
226
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,128
I have to track down
a titanium capacitor
227
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,430
for a high-wattage mainframe
I'm going to construct.
228
00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:33,598
Titanium capacitors?
229
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,667
Sorry, there's no way
to get those anymore.
230
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:36,801
What do you mean?
231
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,503
You've gotten them
for me before.
232
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:42,107
I know, but the one guy who made
those drew a doodle of Mohammed,
233
00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:43,942
so he's not around anymore.
234
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:45,944
He wasn't even doing it
on purpose,
235
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:48,079
just absentmindedly
while talking on the phone.
236
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,081
But it was Mohammed, so...
237
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,282
you know.
238
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:52,283
Oh, that's awful.
239
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:54,753
Okay, Yusuf,
thanks, anyway.
240
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,588
Oh, dear, Rupert,
without those capacitors,
241
00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:58,356
it'll be completely impossible
242
00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,091
to build
a functioning time machine.
243
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:05,030
I guess that means Brian
is really gone for good.
244
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:14,472
Thank you so much
for coming, guys.
245
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,608
Brian would be very
thankful that you're here.
246
00:11:16,610 --> 00:11:17,776
No problem, Lois.
247
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,444
You know, I usually
don't come to funerals.
248
00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:20,779
Since I'm a cop,
249
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:23,481
I always wind up getting hit
by a black woman with a purse.
250
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,350
You find the man
who did this.
251
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,552
Uh, ma'am, what's your relationship to Brian?
You bring him to justice!
252
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:29,320
You make sure this angel child
didn't die for nothing!
253
00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:31,122
Are you sure you're at
the right funeral?
254
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:33,725
Ma'am, Brian's a dog.
You show the world why you became a cop!
255
00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:35,393
Okay.
256
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:40,131
Thank you, everyone,
for coming today.
257
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,801
None of you people came
to my funeral!
258
00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:48,740
I know Peter wanted
to say a few words.
259
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:52,243
Oh, boy, this is, um...
260
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:55,480
this is probably the worst pain
I've ever had to go through,
261
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:58,149
and I've sprained
my ankle twice.
262
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,552
Um... the truth is,
263
00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:02,387
Brian wasn't just my dog.
264
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:05,090
He was my best friend
in the whole world.
265
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:07,759
He was smart, he was loyal,
266
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:10,929
and I guess what
I'm trying to say is
267
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:13,198
he was like a brother to me.
268
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,400
And I-I'm gonna spend
269
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,569
the rest of my life missing him.
270
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:21,172
We're all gonna
miss him, Peter.
271
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:24,042
We're all gonna miss him
very much.
272
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:28,279
Damn it, Ortiz.
273
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:30,348
Stop swinging at junk.
274
00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:01,446
My God, I almost served
Brian again.
275
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:04,149
I can't believe he's been gone
a whole month.
276
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,050
Can we at least get rid
of the doggie door
277
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:07,819
so Chris doesn't keep
getting stuck in it?
278
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:10,588
Every day I get
a little further in.
279
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,157
You know, I hate to say it,
280
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,925
but I-I'm starting to think
the only way
281
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:16,795
to stop missing Brian
is to get a new dog.
282
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:19,597
Or do we all get
Ghostbuster jumpsuits
283
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:20,765
with our names on them?
284
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:22,433
Who you gonna call?
285
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:24,302
The Griffins.
286
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:25,637
I'm serious, Peter.
287
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:27,939
I know it might take time
to find the right dog,
288
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,841
but I really feel like
it might be
289
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,743
the best way for us
to move on.
290
00:13:31,745 --> 00:13:33,178
Yeah, Dad.
That would be nice.
291
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:35,780
All right, well, I guess
it couldn't hurt to look.
292
00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:37,248
Really? Another dog?
293
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,117
Look, I miss Brian
more than any of you,
294
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:40,819
but at least now
no one's forcing us
295
00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:43,354
to watch
those awful PBS documentaries.
296
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:47,091
And now PBS presents
Albino Children Are Normal.
297
00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:50,595
So, with the exception of not
being able to go out in the sun,
298
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:51,863
you're completely normal?
299
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,932
Yes. The moon is my sun.
300
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:55,600
I like to kill beetles.
301
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:57,368
Beetles are teachers.
302
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,838
I sleep with a fork.
303
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:08,446
All right, guys, time to
find a new family dog.
304
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,014
Hey, Chris,
you're kind of a creep.
305
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,182
You should get a ferret.
306
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,951
You're right, I am.
307
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,285
And I will!
308
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:18,289
I don't know how to choose
between all these dogs.
309
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:19,724
Hey, you, green pants.
310
00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:21,960
I hear you're looking for a dog
or something.
311
00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:24,462
Oh, finally, someone who sounds
like they went to college.
312
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:26,064
Hi, I'm Peter.
Vinny.
313
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:27,699
Oh, Vinny, like the Pooh.
314
00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:29,067
Hey, that's kind of cool.
315
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:30,201
So, what's your story?
316
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,870
Well, you know,
I'm just a regular guy.
317
00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:33,738
You throw a stick,
maybe I bring it back.
318
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:36,841
Maybe I bring back
an iPhone that fell off a truck.
319
00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:38,009
So, what do you say?
320
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,377
You want me as your dog?
321
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:42,413
Yeah, I think I do!
322
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:44,415
Hey, just out of curiosity,
what breed are you?
323
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,251
Actually, I'm a pussy hound.
324
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:47,752
Really? All right!
325
00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:50,088
That just means
I'm one-sixteenth cat.
326
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,923
Oh, I wish you
hadn't told me that.
327
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:01,566
Well, Vinny,
welcome to our home.
328
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,067
All right,
this is good.
329
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,736
This is good.
330
00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:06,671
Hey, you guys got a good
banging-broads couch,
331
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:07,739
you know that?
332
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,207
Vinny,
you must be starving.
333
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,742
What can I make you
for dinner?
334
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:11,776
Are you kidding?
335
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,077
You're a hardworking lady.
336
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,779
So, tonight, I'm gonna
make you dinner.
337
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:16,180
Wow.
338
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:17,849
Well, thank you, Vinny.
339
00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:19,017
Whoa, whoa, hang on, Lois.
340
00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:20,451
You promised me
we were all eating
341
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,853
my Play-Doh pasta tonight.
342
00:15:21,855 --> 00:15:24,355
Oh, Stewie, did you
make something?
343
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,925
Mmm, oh, it's so yummy.
344
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,927
Num, num, num, num, num.
345
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,729
You better mean
those "nums."
346
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:33,264
Hey, you,
what's your name?
347
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,432
Chris.
348
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,200
How about I call
you Hat Boy?
349
00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:37,702
Hell yeah!
350
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:38,937
Lower your voice, Chris.
351
00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:40,738
It's Hat Boy, bitch!
352
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:42,040
Wow, look at you, Vinny.
353
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:43,608
It's like you're already
part of the family.
354
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:46,044
I don't know, fat man,
I think you're jumping the gun.
355
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,546
I mean, crucifixion seemed great
at first, too.
356
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:50,248
Why are you
doing that?
357
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:51,950
'Cause I'm mad at this guy.
358
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:54,085
I'm mad at this jar of
pickles I can't open.
359
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:55,320
Nail it up.
360
00:15:58,924 --> 00:16:01,292
Hey, guys, I want you to
meet our new dog, Vinny.
361
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,127
Vinny, this is Joe
and Quagmire.
362
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:04,429
Hey, Vinny.
How you doing?
363
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:05,463
Real good.
364
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,931
Hey, so I hear
you're a cop.
365
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:08,099
That's right.
366
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:09,100
Hey, that's great.
367
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:10,435
Maybe sometime
you could take me
368
00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:12,603
on a ride-along with you,
show me the neighborhood.
369
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:15,006
Yeah, I don't take people out
on ride-alongs anymore.
370
00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:18,076
I had a bad experience
with Grimace.
371
00:16:20,612 --> 00:16:24,515
I got to be honest, I can't
get a bead on you, man.
372
00:16:33,525 --> 00:16:35,960
Oh, boy, Vinny, hanging out
with you has been the best.
373
00:16:35,962 --> 00:16:37,028
You want another beer?
374
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:38,296
No.
375
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,497
I'd love one!
376
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,600
What? What? The first
thing you said was...
377
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:44,335
Oh, my God!
378
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,671
You're on... you're, like,
on another level, Vinny!
379
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,107
Congratulations.
380
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,808
You've won over
a complete imbecile.
381
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:51,943
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
382
00:16:51,945 --> 00:16:53,644
Did you just speak
ill of the man
383
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,313
who busts his tail
providing for you?
384
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:57,448
He spent my college fund
on puppet clothes.
385
00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:59,817
Hey, don't get fresh
with me, Estudio.
386
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:01,052
That's not my name.
387
00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:03,221
That's not even
an Italian version of my name.
388
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:04,489
Oh, whatever.
389
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:06,324
Hey, Vinny, you
want to see a puppet show?
390
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:08,626
They all got
leather jackets!
391
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:09,894
God, what a jerk.
392
00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:11,396
If this guy thinks
he's sticking around,
393
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:12,697
he's sorely mistaken.
394
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,132
I'm going to ruin him.
395
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,634
Just like I ruined
that magician's act.
396
00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:21,506
People, people, people.
397
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:23,908
This man drives a Saturn.
398
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:29,013
All right, Rupert,
I've been left with no choice.
399
00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:31,382
I'm going to tell Vinny
so much bad news
400
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,650
about Italian-Americans
401
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,652
that he goes
into cardiac arrest.
402
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,087
Vinny, there you are.
403
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:37,488
I have some
terrible news.
404
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:40,324
Sal Annuncio's kid was
killed by a falling piano!
405
00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:42,427
Oh! How could this happen?!
406
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:44,095
That kid was
an honors student!
407
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:46,097
He'd just applied
to SUNY Albany.
408
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:47,765
He just got in
to SUNY Albany.
409
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,200
Oh!
410
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:50,435
This is too much, Stewie.
411
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:51,602
I can't take it.
412
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,204
Oh, my God, it's working.
413
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,039
Hey, Vinny, Bobby
Lammaduro's kid
414
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:56,574
just got out of
the hospital.
415
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,342
He beat the cancer!
416
00:17:58,344 --> 00:18:00,044
Oh, thank heavens.
417
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:03,381
Big man in the sky
knows what he's doing.
418
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:04,749
Chris, what are you doing?
419
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,085
Call me a creep,
you piece of crap!
420
00:18:10,522 --> 00:18:12,190
Hey, Doonesbury,
421
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:15,026
how about a joke that ain't
for fancy millionaires?
422
00:18:25,637 --> 00:18:28,039
Stewie, what's with
the waterworks?
423
00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:30,241
Oh, um, um...
I-I just...
424
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,310
I realized I paid too much
for my muffler.
425
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:34,045
Come on, kid,
quit crying.
426
00:18:34,047 --> 00:18:35,780
You're gonna get
your pants wrinkled.
427
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,148
What's the matter?
428
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:38,382
Fine.
429
00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:39,984
Do you want to know
what's the matter?
430
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:41,285
You're the matter.
431
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,554
Everyone in this family
is so damn thrilled with you,
432
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:45,256
they've forgotten
all about Brian.
433
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:46,624
Well, I'm not thrilled.
434
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,392
I'll never forget Brian.
435
00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:50,094
He was my best friend.
436
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:53,331
You're not supposed to lose
your best friend at my age.
437
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:55,800
You're not supposed
to lose him ever!
438
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,936
Look, Stewie, I know it
doesn't seem like it now,
439
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:00,404
but you're gonna be okay.
440
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:02,340
Yeah, right.
How do you know?
441
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:06,511
Because, I once had a thing
happen to me with some stuff.
442
00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:08,112
Really?
That's what's happening to me.
443
00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:09,347
Stuff.
444
00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:11,315
You know, before you guys
found me at the shop,
445
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,017
I lived with an old man
named Leo.
446
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:15,453
It was just him and me
in a tiny apartment,
447
00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:16,821
and we got pretty tight.
448
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,756
He kind of became
my whole world.
449
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:22,426
By the time he passed away,
it was real tough.
450
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:24,428
So, how did he die?
451
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:26,097
He tried to go
to a yoga class,
452
00:19:26,099 --> 00:19:28,699
and on the first pose, his
ball sack split in half.
453
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:29,767
Really?
454
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,102
Yeah, it was
on Dateli.
455
00:19:31,104 --> 00:19:32,370
It was a whole thing.
456
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:35,640
Anyway, I guess Leo was
kind of like my Brian.
457
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:38,309
Well, so,
how'd you get over him?
458
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:40,278
Well, I met your family
in the pet store.
459
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,146
When I saw you guys
looking for a dog,
460
00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:44,048
I kind of sensed
you were all going through
461
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:45,883
the same feelings of loss
that I was.
462
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,285
And it made me think,
463
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:49,287
hey, maybe I was meant
to find these guys.
464
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:51,956
Maybe we were meant
to be together.
465
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,524
You know what, Vinny?
466
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:56,227
I'm starting to think
that may be true.
467
00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:58,796
Bring it in, Stewie.
468
00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:05,303
Hey, Stewie,
now that we're pals,
469
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:07,138
maybe you can
answer me something.
470
00:20:07,140 --> 00:20:09,473
Why does your living room
smell so much like puke?
471
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:11,542
Somebody throw up a
lot in there once?
472
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:14,579
Vinny, my friend, you got a lot
of stories to catch up on.
473
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,147
I got most of them on DVD.
474
00:20:16,149 --> 00:20:17,248
Oh, cool.
475
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,050
Like, by season
and stuff?
476
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:21,819
No, not by season.
477
00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:28,492
Boy, I can't remember
the last time
478
00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:30,261
Stewie fell asleep
this early.
479
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:32,863
Well, I think the little guy
had a long day.
480
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:35,233
All right, come on,
time for bed, Vinny.
481
00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:37,535
I'll tell Peter to turn off
the nightlight this time.
482
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:40,238
No! I need it
for in case there's witches!
483
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,505
You know, actually, Lois,
484
00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:43,908
I think I'm gonna sleep
in here with Stewie tonight.
485
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,943
Oh, well,
isn't that nice.
486
00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:47,645
Sleep tight, you two.
487
00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:52,917
Good night, Vinny.
488
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:54,418
Good night, Stewie.
489
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:55,920
Hey, you guys know
which room is Peter's?
490
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:59,991
Across the hall.
Ah, it's too bright in there. Never mind.35515
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof