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- [Captain O'Rourke] Well, don't be too excited.
It's only a routine explosives transfer.
(upbeat swing music)
- [Captain O'Rourke] That trains got 10 tons
of dynamite on it.
- I hope you wasn't planning on a promotion.
(upbeat swing music)
- We have orders to blow up the train.
- [Jane] My horse is on that train.
(bomb detonates)
(gun fires)
(gun fires)
(upbeat theme music)
(whip cracks)
(horses walking)
(horse snorts)
(horses walking)
(TNT detonates)
(gun fires)
(upbeat music)
- I'd applaud, but,
(gun fires)
(upbeat music)
(horses gallops)
(chair creaking)
- Eh? Who's that?
- Name's Bill Doolin, friend.
Question is who are you?
- Howdy.
Say nice suit.
(western music)
- What's the meaning of this?
Jenkins, what is going on?
- How do I look?
- Not much better than y'all smell, but you'll do.
- What's next Bill?
(train whistles)
- 400 miles along the special route destination Fort Dunwich
near the Northern territory's.
Ever been that far north Lieutenant.
- No, sir, Captain O'Rourke, Sir.
It'll be my first trip anywhere, sir.
But I'm ready, sir.
- Well, don't be too excited.
It's only a routine explosives transfer.
- Explosives?
Holy cow.
- Come on Tessie.
Come on, girl.
Just a little more.
- I told you this weren't no job for a mule.
Were scouting for the army train.
That means, - I know what it means
I ain't leggin him, I, - Well, yeah a bit.
You've been riding her hard all day long,
and all day before that.
She needs her rest and so do you,
I'll go on after the station,
you and Tessie hitch a ride on the train,
give you a chance to kiss and make up.
(train engine chugs)
- Tell the men to stay put, this won't take long.
- [Lieutenant] Yes, sir.
- Hello, anybody here?
(water pours out of spout)
(horse gallops)
- Hope you got something interesting to report because me
and Joe ain't seen nothing.
- Same here.
I've had it with these routine assignments.
Who do they think I am a delivery boy, I just wish.
- Careful what you wish for John, libel to come true.
- Hey, You got to crack the axle back here.
Better take a look.
- Nope, you have to get your mule onboard yourself Presto.
- Well she's sentimental, and gets the motion sickness,
and can't you, you know, spare a few men to help out?
- I'm sorry, you'll have to arrange
something with the Station Master.
- Station Master?
What station master?
(upbeat western music)
(train engine chugging)
(train whistle blowing)
- Dead weight away.
- Hear that?
- Hear what?
- No, it can't be.
- That ain�t right, is it?
- That train's got 10 tons of dynamite on it.
- Well son, I hope you wasn't planning on a promotion.
(train engine chugs)
(mischievous laughter)
(gun fires)
- Hey, that's all we need,
the haul of the lifetime poofs up in smoke,
us along with it.
All on account of Rufus here, acting dumber than usual.
- Sorry Bill.
- Now, we have few, we have enough dynamite here
to make a fortune selling up north.
Then we can use what's left to make another fortune.
Robbin and thieving.
(upbeat western music)
(horse gallops)
(horse neighs)
(upbeat western music)
- Well, if it ain't little miss Calamity Jane
crashing the party.
- T-bone, you the one who hit me?
I owe ya.
Where's Luke?
Playing choo choo?
- Nevermind about him, this here's
the end of the line for you.
What'd you say Bill?
Can be the one to ventilate her?
- Already told you this here's a no shootin car.
- Sorry Bill, recon I had that comin.
- Well, if we ain't shootin her boss.
What are we going to do with her?
- We'll just keep it simple.
(train engine chugs)
(train wheels screech)
(mellow music)
- Janie, where the heck you been?
The train's been hijacked.
- They got Dakota too, but they don't know it.
- Well, if that don't beat all.
- See, you got yourself a brand new tie, John.
- Oh, she's a beauty ain�t she?
Only four like her in the country.
- I got me a horse.
Only one like him in the whole world.
- Well, why what are we waiting for?
Let's get a move on.
Get after him, roll.
Who we chasing any who?
- Doolin and his bunch.
- I've been authorized to give you this briefing,
but what I tell you mustn't go no farther agreed?
- I wouldn't tell my hairdresser, even if I had one.
- Well you know me, my words a good as the day I give it,
as the day I break it.
And I mean die, the day I die.
You know what I mean.
- I have orders to blow up the train.
- John, my horse is on that train.
- I don't like it any more than you,
but we can't have all that TNT in Doolin's hands.
You know that.
Think of the cost in lives.
- Let me see that map.
According to this, Tongue River cuts right through the pass.
If we can get down that river,
we can get ahead of Doolin.
Board, the train, and - We? Whose this we?
- It's the only chance I got to save Dakota.
After all we've been through, I owe it to him to try.
- I know how you feel, Janie.
I have a natural closeness about Tessie.
But, oh count me in. We're more than a match
for any old river.
I know Tongue River.
You two don't know what you're asking.
- Stow it John,
you just slow this tin bucket down and let me and Joe off.
We'll do the rest.
- [Joe] Yee haw
- Jane, why do you always get me
to make a mockery of my orders?
- Did I ever tell you that me
and water ain�t the best of friends?
- I can smell that from a mile away.
Easy, Joe, this is the only way to get to the train on time.
- I know, I know.
But why do rivers have to be made of water?
With fish, I hate fish.
And what about them Crocodiles?
- Joe, ain't no crocodiles this far north.
- Yeah, well maybe one escape the circus.
You ever think of that?
- No, can't say I ever did.
- Yeah, well they could be out there, out there right now,
just waiting for us within beady little eyes.
Over there, what's that?
- I don't see nothing. You just imagining things.
(bayou music)
(waterfall splashing)
- It's rapids Joe.
(upbeat suspense music)
(Jane and Joe scream)
- You all right Joe?
- How do them fish stand IT?
At least we don't gotta worry none about sinkin anymore.
- That's a fact.
Going over a waterfall probably kill us first.
(Jane and Joe scream)
(water crashing)
- Whatcha staring at Joe?
- Janie, I thought you was, and then, we a little bit.
Now don't go sneaking up on no body like that.
- Sorry Joe.
Next time, I'll try to drown a little more.
- You just try and do that.
- Not much further.
Tracks are just over yonder.
There she is.
(train whistles)
Come on, we ain't got much time.
- Now when we ever, go here, go there, get dunked.
It should be waiting for me to fly like a birdy.
- That'd be great, Joe.
That'll save us from having
to jump onboard the moving train.
- Movin train?
- And then it's on to the Northern territory.
We're home free boys.
(excited gun fires)
- Calamity Jane?
She's onboard.
Well, what are you waiting for?
Go on and get her.
- Grab hold Joe.
- What about me?
- Wait for the army, Joe.
And don't let John shot
Boy am I glad to see you.
(horse neighs)
(suspenseful music)
(TNT detonates)
(suspenseful music)
(gun fires)
(suspenseful music)
(horse gallops)
(suspenseful music)
- Dang, that sounded like Luke.
(bomb explodes)
- Long as you know, it ain�t right you firing on
the train Jane's still aboard.
- I know what I'm doing.
Lieutenant Jones readjust to the right and fire.
When ready.
- But sir, the last one went, to the right.
- Those are my orders, Lieutenant.
(suspenseful music)
- Where'd they come from?
It ain�t the calvary.
It's that blasted Calamity Jane.
(suspenseful music)
- Calamity.
- I told you I owed you.
And I always pay my debts.
(whip cracks)
(glass breaks)
(T-Bone screams)
(Bill laughs)
- Drop your gun.
Otherwise horsie takes a fall.
- You'd be right careful Bill
Anything happens to Dakota.
- And you'd do what?
I'd shoot you now, but I'll see you suffer first.
This here's payback for all them times you stuck your nose
in my business.
You or your horse, one of yous going out with a bullet.
Which would it be?
I'm awaiting.
I'll give you the count of three to decide.
- Hold on, sure you can count that high?
Better let someone else do it.
Right Dakota, count one, two,
three.
(gun fires)
(upbeat music)
(bomb detonates)
(upbeat music)
- Nobody. I mean, nobody threatens my horse, Bill Doolin.
You think about that on the way out.
(Bill screams)
Come on boy, it's now or never.
(train crashes)
- Jane, Jane, are you all right?
- Over here, Joe.
I figured Dakota could use a bath after a long day.
Nothing he likes better, but maybe sweets and hay.
You're going to get them all boy.
What do you think of that?
(upbeat bayou music)
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