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- [Sue] Ladies and gentlemen,
may I present Ms. Jane Canary.
(exciting music)
- I'm lady enough to knock you into next Sunday, stranger.
(exciting music)
(guns whistle)
(gun fires)
(whip cracks)
He's my father.
How can he hurt me?
(gun fires) (canister explodes)
(chuckles evilly)
(exciting western music)
(lamp whooshes)
(lamp shatters)
(exciting western music)
(gun cocks) (gun fires)
(whip cracks)
(gun fires)
(whip cracks)
(exciting western music)
(whip cracks)
(cart rattles) (horse whinnies)
(crowd talking indistinctly)
(dramatic music) (spurs jingle)
(boots thudding)
(gun cocking)
(door smashes open)
(intense music)
- [Lead Bandit] Give me all your money
and no one will be liable to get hurt.
Comprende?
- [Bank Teller] Oh yes, sir.
Anything you say.
(gun cocking) (shell clanks)
- [Lead Bandit] Touch it and there's going to be
a real loud bang you won't like one bit.
- [Man] Now, see here.
I run the claims and fees offices,
as well as the general store.
You have no right to this tender.
- [Bandit] Got a right and a left.
How about you? (cackles)
Isn't this great?
- [Bank Teller] Oh, sorry.
I'm a little nervous.
- [Lead Bandit] Just hurry it up,
or you'll be a little more than a little nervous,
if you catch my drift.
(gun cocking) (shell clanks)
Come on.
We got some us riding to do.
Been a real pleasure making your acquaintance.
If you're ever in my neck of the woods,
maybe I can return the hospitality.
(gun firing)
(people yelling)
(horse whinnies)
Ride 'em hard!
(birds chirping) (bell tolling)
- You made a wrong move there, Oakie.
It's going to cost you something dear.
(slow saloon piano music)
- Well, you're going to have to beat my straight
to do it, Ms. Calamity, and it's a real good straight,
all the way up to a ten.
(slow saloon piano music)
- Queens over kings.
Read 'em and weep.
- Ah, you won again, Janey.
Anymore of that and you'll be fat as a sow.
- Ah, Joe. You trying to be sweet?
Okay. Ante up.
Five-card stud.
Suicide king forfeits.
- She no play for money?
She is stupido.
- She gambles enough with her life,
she don't have to do it to relax.
- Hm. She is stupido.
- I heard that, Zita.
- Who cares?
I no afraid of you and your whip.
You think you can scare me? (whip cracks)
(stool creaks) (Zita gasps)
(Zita thuds on floor)
(speaking Spanish)
(Joe cackles)
- Well, I hate to say it,
but you asked for it, little missy.
- You all treat her so nice.
Like she better than everyone else.
But she not.
Had mother and father just like me.
(huffs angrily)
- Hey now, sweetie.
Zita didn't mean nothing by it.
- It's okay. She didn't know.
(tense music) Ace bets first.
(doors creak open)
(doors slam shut) (spurs jingle)
- [Sue] Can I help you, mister?
Looks like you can use something to wet your whistle.
- [Stranger] Thank you.
I most certainly could.
Seems like you got a big game going on, little lady.
It is lady, isn't it?
What with them men's duds and all.
- I'm lady enough to knock you into next Sunday, stranger.
If'n you want to make something of it.
- You actually believe that, don't you?
- I wouldn't be calling her a liar, mister.
It ain't healthy, like.
- Nor very neighborly.
So, you're a bear cat, huh?
(tense music)
(chair crashes)
(whip cracks)
(cigar swooshes)
Well, well, well.
You got something against tobacco, too?
- I thought... No harm done.
(boots clicking)
Maybe I was a bit hasty a moment ago.
Anyone that could swing a whip like that.
Liam Canary, miss.
Pleased to make her acquaintance.
- Liam Canary?
- The one and only.
You heard of me, huh?
- I'm Martha Jane.
Martha Jane Canary.
(dramatic music)
(boots clicking)
- [Jane] You have my eyes.
- And you have your mother's.
(watch clinks)
(Jane gasps)
- [Jane] Father?
(Lead bandit grunts in relief)
- [Lead Bandit] Nothing like a nice long soak after a holdup
to get rid of all the wrinkles in a man's hindquarters.
(Bandit whoops)
- When do we get the shoot him up some more?
Huh, huh, huh?
- Now just you wait, Dickie boy.
- Name's Deadeye, not Dickie Boy.
- Hey, your name's whatever I want it to be.
Comprende?
(gun cocking)
(tense music)
- Whatever you say.
You're the boss. (guns swooshing)
(door creaks open) (water splashing)
- Ah, the prodigal father returns.
How'd it go?
(door creaks shut)
- [Lead Bandit] Ah, the prodigal father returns.
How'd it go?
- All right, I guess.
- You guess.
You guess?
Didn't the reunion of daddy and daughter
warm the cockles of your heart?
- She's meeting me this afternoon.
She trusts me, just like you wanted.
- Good, then my plan is going according to plan.
Soon, we're going to rob us another bank
and the great Calamity Jane ain't going
to be able to do a thing about it,
'cause she loves her daddy.
(laughs evilly)
- [Jane] Do you remember when Mama and you took me
to see the boats in the harbor?
All the pretty sails?
- [Liam] You was barely past knee-high
when we was in Portsmouth.
How do you remember that?
- It's one of the first memories I have.
It always comes back to me if I smell the ocean.
(dramatic music) (seagulls crying)
- [Liam] We were up there
to get your ma's special sitting table.
Brung all the way from Italy, it was.
- [Jane] I remember it in our house in Atlanta.
I always wondered where it came from.
That's where I learned my reading and writing,
on that table.
- [Liam] More than I can say, sometimes.
Not much call for that where I go.
- [Jane] No, but I remember you used to hold the book
while Mama would sing to us.
She could sing like a bird, Mama could.
- [Liam] She surely could.
There was a bit of heaven in her voice,
every time she raised it up.
Sean O'Shea was her favorite.
- [Jane] Yes.
Yes, it was.
It was always such a sad song.
- So many of the old ones are.
- Not as sad as the day you left.
I remember that perfectly.
- [Liam] I had to go, Janey.
That's what I did.
Then I got caught up and a year passed, then another.
(dramatic music)
Always meant to come back,
but everything kept happening.
Some good.
A lot bad.
And I could never cipher none, so
no letters.
- Don't worry, Daddy.
Everything's all right.
It's all right.
- We best be getting back soon, I have a...
I have a meeting with some business acquaintances
I must go to.
- Business?
Well, I guess we better be getting back.
- [Sue] There, there.
You just let Sue have a whack at you
and you'll be as lady-like as the Queen of England.
- I'm not really the girly type, you know that, Sue.
- You clean up right well when you put your mind to it.
- But I do want to look pleasant for my daddy.
- And you will darlin', never you fear,
but don't go too fast.
- Too fast?
- It's been a long time, Janey.
I just don't want you to be hurt.
- He's my father. How can he hurt me?
Can you imagine him being still alive and all?
I always dreamed of him turning up,
but I never could really hope.
I mean, he's my hero.
All the stories my mamma used to tell me.
He's the bravest man in the world.
- Uh-huh.
Bravest man in the world.
Heard that before.
- He is. He's my daddy.
- Now you go wriggle into that dress
while I get you some jewels.
- Jewels?
But Sue, I-
- Just to borrow.
You want to make a good impression, don't you?
- More than anything in the world.
(horse hooves galloping)
(horse whinnies and snuffles)
(door creaks open)
- [John] Joe! Have you seen Calamity?
My troop's still a day out,
but I rode like the devil was on my tail to get here.
- Hey, what's up?
Where's the fire?
- We get some bank robbers headed this way.
Wanted to warn Jane, so she wasn't taken by surprise.
- She's a little busy right now, but-
- [Sue] Ladies and gentlemen,
may I present Miss Jane Canary of the Atlanta Canaries.
(upbeat banjo and fiddle music)
- [Jane] Now come on, then.
Laugh already.
I know you're all dying to.
- Janey, laughing's the last thing we'd do.
Why, y-you're beautiful!
- [Zita] Hmm. You are not too bad like this.
Maybe there's hope for you, yet.
- [John] Uh, Calami-Miss Jane, uh... Miss Calamity, I-
You look wonderful.
- Thank you, John.
But what are you doing here?
I thought you were out on patrol.
- Was. Am!
I needed to show you these.
This gaggle's a real bunch of bad'uns.
Been robbing banks all across the territory.
Heading here and I thought you ought to know.
(gasps) (tense music)
(dramatic music)
- We best be getting back soon.
I have a...
I have a meeting with some business acquaintances
I must go to.
- What was that?
- No, I haven't seen any of them.
Ever.
I have to go to meet someone.
- Meet someone?
Well, it's none of my business, but-
- I'm meeting my daddy.
(door creaks open and shuts)
- Daddy?
But isn't he...?
Her daddy?
- He can't be part of this.
He can't be.
(tense music)
- So we hit the bank at closing,
grab the loot, and off we go.
No muss, no fuss.
- Right when it closes, yeah, right then,
when it closes.
Right?
Then?
- Yeah.
When it closes.
(gasps)
(boots clicking)
(door creaks open)
(Jane cries)
(dramatic music)
- [Jane] You have my eyes.
(dramatic music)
- [Liam] And you have your mother's.
(dramatic music)
(coyote hollers)
(dogs bark)
- [Bank Manager] Evening, Herbert.
See you in the morning.
- Bright and early.
Can I help-(gun cocking)
(tense music)
(door creaks open)
(spurs jingle)
(coat whooshes)
- [Lead Bandit] In case you haven't noticed it out yet,
we want your money.
Now!
- Yes, sir. Right away, sir.
Will that be in small or large bills?
- That would be in all bills,
as you give me everything you got.
- Yes, absolutely.
Whatever could I have been thinking?
Whatever you say, sir.
- [Jane] No, Herbert.
Whatever I say.
- What the-?
(whip cracking)
(whip cracks) (gun fires)
(guns firing)
(whip cracks)
(gun firing)
(guns firing)
(thuds on floor)
- [Jane] Well, well, well.
We seem to have us a little bank robbery here.
You're all under arrest.
- I wouldn't count on it, little girl.
- Oh?
- [Liam[ Put your hands up, Jane.
(chuckles evilly)
- You don't have to do this, Daddy.
- Sorry, Jane.
(oil splashing)
Now what you doing that for?
- [Lead Bandit] We can't have
the great Calamity Jane following us.
I hear she never gives up till she's got her man.
- But that's what ropes is for.
- Ropes can be untied, eventually.
(boot clicking)
(bag swooshes)
(exciting music)
(horses snuffle)
(gun cocking)
- No.
You can't!
(exciting music)
- Can't's is not a word I know.
(gun fires) (canister explodes)
(fire crackles)
(tense music)
- Daddy!
(bell clanging)
- This is wrong.
Wrong!
- [Lead Bandit] Ride with us or burn with your daughter.
It don't matter none to me.
Hyaah!
(horses galloping)
(bell clanging)
(people shouting)
(fire crackling)
(horse whinnies)
- [Liam] Jane? Jane!
- Here!
(fire whooshing)
(exciting music)
- No! (beams crashing)
- Daddy! - No, Janey!
You'll never make it, no how, no way.
(exciting music)
(flames crackling) (building creaking)
(building crashes)
(exciting music)
(both thud to ground)
(water splashes)
- I knew you'd come back.
(horse whinnies)
- Caught 'em just like you said.
Rats on the run.
One look at the Calvary and they gave up without a shot.
- You think you're pretty smart, huh girly?
- Smart enough to put a bridle on you,
with a little help from my daddy.
(laughs meanly)
- Daddy?
Your daddy? Didn't he tell you,
he's no more your daddy than I am.
(dramatic music)
- It's not true, it's not... I'm sorry, Jane.
It-it is.
My name's Donnie Shea.
- But you have my eyes.
- If I do, I stole them.
I been nothing but a thief for years.
- But you knew all about me and my mama.
- I rode with your pa, long time ago,
during my exploring days.
We both came from the old country.
He was quite a man.
Good friend.
Used to talk and talk and talk about you and your ma.
Was the most important thing in the world to him.
And after a while,
got to be the most important thing in the world to me, too.
I always wished I was lucky enough
to have a family like yours.
- But my father, when you last saw him...
- He was still alive, if that's what you're wanting to know,
but that was going on past a dozen years ago.
After we parted ways, I fell on hard times.
Took to robbing,
though I never had much of a stomach for it.
Sometimes there's nothing a man can do
once he's set in a rut.
- Don't be so sure.
You could have left me in there.
Had a chance of getting away.
- Nah, wouldn't have been right.
Besides, you're almost blood.
- He'll have to come with us, Jane.
- I know.
You take care.
- It was nice pretending, for a while.
(Jane sighs)
(dramatic music)
(horse whinnies)
(dramatic music)
(watch clinks)
(horse whinnies) - [John] Move out!
(horse hooves stamping)
(bell tolls)
(rooster crows)
(dog barks) (bird chirps)
(horse whinnies)
(dramatic music)
(watch clicks opens)
(birds chirp)
(dramatic music)
(upbeat western music)
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