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ADULT SHELDON: A few times a year, there was a dedicated day
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where my school was closed.
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This allowed
the teachers to catch up
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00:00:08,225 --> 00:00:09,922
on their administrative duties.
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While I was normally against
a break from learning,
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00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:15,754
I did applaud the Medford
faculty's commitment
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to our education.Oh, man.
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How great is this place
without kids in it?[laughs]: I heard that.
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ADULT SHELDON: On one of those
days, I got to spend time
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with my mom at her job.
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SHELDON:
Did you write that?
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00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:28,289
You betcha.Instead of puns,
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00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:31,118
have you considered composing
a humorous palindrome?
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00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:34,251
It's a phrase that reads
the same backwards as forwards.
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For example, "Do geese see God?"
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Trust me. Both ways.
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Come inside.
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SHELDON: Some other good ones
are radar, level, kayak.
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That's a funny word. Kayak.
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Never get me in one.
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So what's the plan?
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How will I be entertained
all day?
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I thought you could be
my little helper.
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00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:58,884
I prefer executive assistant.
Carries more weight.
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Fine. You stay here, I'm gonna
go talk to Pastor Jeff.
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Mom.
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00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:04,629
What?
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00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:07,502
"Mom" is also
a palindrome. M-O-M.
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Good morning, Peg.
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Any morning you wake up
is a good morning. [coughs]
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Okay.
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[wheezing]
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[knocking on door]Come in.
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Good morn-- oh,
it's dark in here.
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Uh-huh.
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Everything okay?
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Mm-hmm.
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I need you to use your words.
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My marriage is over.
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Mm-hmm...
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♪ Vaya con Dios
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♪ My darling...
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♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
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♪ I bet I could be your hero
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♪ I am a mighty little man
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♪ I am a mighty little man.♪
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We don't even sleep
in the same bed anymore.
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00:02:03,688 --> 00:02:06,996
In the '50s,
people had separate beds.
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00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:10,086
Lucy and Ricky did it.
Their marriage worked.
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I-I'm sure
it's just a rough patch.
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Boy, I hope so.
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00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:19,356
Well, if there's any way
I can make your life easier,
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you let me know.
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Thank you, Mary.
I really appreciate it.
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Oh, I almost forgot, um,
Sheldon's here with me today.
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Great.
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Hey, little man. How you doing?
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You smell like cigarettes.
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You're fun.
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00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:54,435
Do you know what this binder is?
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It's a record of donations
people make to the church.
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This data could
easily be transferred
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00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:01,964
into a computerized spreadsheet.
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00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:03,139
Why isn't it?
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00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,358
No idea.
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00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:07,578
You also smell
like mothballs and Ben-Gay.
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00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,016
Bye.
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00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:17,153
I hope you don't mind, I invited
Pastor Jeff for dinner.
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00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,241
That's fine.
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00:03:18,285 --> 00:03:19,677
I was talking to your father.
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00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:20,983
What's the occasion?
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00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:24,029
No occasion,
just thought it'd be nice.
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His wife coming, too?
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00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:27,468
No. Just him.
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00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:28,643
They having problems?
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00:03:28,686 --> 00:03:30,688
He's just coming to dinner.
That's all.
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00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:32,342
You two having problems?
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Are we?
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00:03:33,474 --> 00:03:34,431
No.
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00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:35,650
Pastor Jeff's wife
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is so much prettier than him.
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It's like Barbie
married a turtle.
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00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:41,917
Hey. Here's a fun idea:
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00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,658
how about you and Sheldon
have dinner
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00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,877
at Meemaw's tonight?All right.
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00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:48,228
[quietly]: They area
weird-looking couple.
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00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:49,794
You want to eat
at my mom's, too?
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00:03:49,838 --> 00:03:51,796
Oh, come on. You got eyes.
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00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,499
Pastor, would you like
to lead us in grace?
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I'd be honored.
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00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,461
Heavenly Father,
thank you for this food.
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00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:07,247
I pray that it nourishes
and strengthens us,
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00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:09,727
and bless Mary for preparing it.
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00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:11,860
[crying]:
And thank you
for the Coopers
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00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:16,299
who have invited me
into their loving home.
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They are
a shining example
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of what a marriage can be.
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00:04:22,871 --> 00:04:27,310
One that I hope
to have again someday.
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00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:29,965
Amen.
And please give
me the strength...
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00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:31,053
[whispers]:
Sorry.
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00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:33,316
The strength to walk this road
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00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:38,190
with unconditional love
and joy in my heart.
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00:04:38,234 --> 00:04:39,322
Amen.
105
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:40,454
Amen.
Amen.
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00:04:40,497 --> 00:04:42,282
[sniffles]
107
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,459
Well, let's eat!
108
00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:49,724
Cheers.
Cheers.
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00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:51,595
Cheers.
Cheers.
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Dang, this place is nice.
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00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:57,340
That's because it was
supposed to be a date.
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00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:59,211
Cool. My first date.
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00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:01,039
Meemaw, I've been going through
the church records,
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00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:03,955
and I noticed you haven't made
a donation in quite a long time.
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00:05:03,999 --> 00:05:06,175
Why are you going
through the records?
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00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:08,177
I'm an executive assistant.
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00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:09,874
Good for you.MEEMAW:
You see,
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00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:12,616
God and I have a deal. And
when he helps me win big
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00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:14,749
at the casino,
I give him a cut.
120
00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:16,664
And lately, he has
not been holding up
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00:05:16,707 --> 00:05:18,056
his part of the bargain.
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00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:21,495
"Steak aw poyverwith fritties"?
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00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:23,235
It's French.
Oh.
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00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,281
What's a crock monster?
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00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,978
It's croque monsieur,
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00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:30,852
and it's really just a grilled
cheese sandwich with ham.
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00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:32,593
I want that.
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00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:35,683
[chokes] There's
lemon in this water.
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00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,955
So, uh, who do you
think the Oilers
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00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:48,565
are gonna take in the draft?
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00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:51,002
Oh, I don't
really follow sports.
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I'm just gonna eat.
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00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:54,963
[door opens]
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What's he doing here?
Y'all getting a divorce?
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00:05:59,881 --> 00:06:02,797
No. No, he's just
here for dinner.
136
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:06,148
Oh. Welcome, Your Holiness.
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00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:09,630
I thought you were hanging
out with Veronica tonight.
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00:06:09,673 --> 00:06:12,154
We were supposed to,
but then she invited a bunch
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00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:13,808
of her choir friends over,
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00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:15,984
and it turned
into a stupid Bible study.
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00:06:16,027 --> 00:06:18,160
No offense.None taken.
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00:06:18,203 --> 00:06:19,466
Hmm.GEORGE JR.:
Honestly,
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00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:21,468
I do not understand
the female mind.
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00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,165
[quietly]:
Do something.
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00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:25,820
Georgie, why don't you go eat
dinner in front of the TV?
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00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:28,649
No, it's all right. Sounds like
Georgie's having trouble
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00:06:28,692 --> 00:06:30,564
navigating the perilous waters
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00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:32,174
of a relationship.
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00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:34,350
Believe me, I can understand.
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00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,874
You having problems
with your hot wife?
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00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:41,705
Maybe I'llgo eat by the TV.
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00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:48,103
I'm liking my crock monster.
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00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:49,626
Mmm. Me, too.
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00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:51,846
I can't taste anything
after the lemon water.
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00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:53,848
I'm glad y'all
are having a good time.
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00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,023
You're welcome.
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00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:56,633
Where we having dinner tomorrow?
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Nowhere.
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00:06:58,374 --> 00:07:01,508
Dr. Sturgis and I are going to
Louisiana, do a little gambling.
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00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:03,814
So a donation could
be forthcoming?
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00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:05,207
Don't jinx me.
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00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:08,515
It's my first time
going to a casino.
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00:07:08,558 --> 00:07:11,692
It's amazing. There's bright
lights and bells and buzzers
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and people yelling.
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00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:14,738
BOTH:
Ugh.
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00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:19,569
Veronica says
I'm the nicest guy she knows.
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00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:21,702
She also says she only wants
to date nice guys.
168
00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:24,182
Does that mean
she wants to date me?I bet she doesn't.
169
00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:26,620
No, she does not.
Doesn't make any sense.
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00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:28,535
Nothing they do
makes any sense.
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GEORGE JR.: I know...At least
he's not crying anymore.
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JEFF: Devil's got
something to do with it.
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00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:42,766
Mary, George, I can't
thank you enough for this.
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00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:44,028
It was our pleasure.
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00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:47,510
So, Pastor, are you gonna try
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00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,643
and talk things out with Selena?
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00:07:49,686 --> 00:07:51,819
Well, we're really
not on speaking terms,
178
00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:54,822
so I'll just be heading back to
my office, sleep on the couch.
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00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:57,651
That's ridiculous.
He can stay with us, can't he?
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00:07:57,694 --> 00:08:00,654
Uh, I guess that'd be okay.
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Of course it would.JEFF: Oh.
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I couldn't possibly impose.
183
00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:06,007
GEORGE JR.:
Sure you could.
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00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:08,705
In fact, you can take my room.
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00:08:08,749 --> 00:08:11,882
Well, y'all are too kind.
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00:08:11,926 --> 00:08:13,188
[door opens]
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00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:14,842
Hello.
Oh.
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00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:16,365
Did y'all
have a good time?
189
00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:18,280
Yes.It was great.
190
00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:20,369
Oh, Mom, Pastor Jeff is
gonna be spending the night.
191
00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:22,284
If the kids could
sleep at your place?
192
00:08:22,327 --> 00:08:24,242
No. Bye.
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00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:36,211
[whispering]:
George.
194
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:38,300
[snorts]
What? What's wrong?
195
00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:40,650
The pastor's up making tea.
196
00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:42,826
What, you want me to blow on it?
197
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:44,654
Go talk to him.
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00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:46,047
About what?
199
00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:47,875
[exhales]
I don't know.
200
00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,920
Maybe you could give him
a male perspective
201
00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:51,139
on relationship issues.
202
00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:54,011
How about this?
203
00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:57,667
What if I close my eyes
and pray on it?
204
00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:00,235
Hey.
205
00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:03,020
Oh, hi. I hope
I didn't wake you.
206
00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:06,807
Uh, no, no.
Just... get-getting some water.
207
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,591
[clears throat]
208
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:11,507
Can I fix you some chamomile?
209
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,075
No, thanks.
210
00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:19,210
[sighs]
So...
211
00:09:22,344 --> 00:09:24,259
Tough times, huh?
212
00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:25,652
Yeah.
213
00:09:25,695 --> 00:09:27,262
Yeah.
214
00:09:39,491 --> 00:09:42,016
Hey, uh,
does the Bible say anything
215
00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:44,105
about heartache and such?
216
00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:47,717
Psalm 147, verse three:
"The Lord healeth
217
00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:50,372
the broken in heart,
and bindeth up their wounds."
218
00:09:50,415 --> 00:09:52,896
Well, there you go-eth.
219
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:54,942
Except I'm feeling kicked
in the nethers right now,
220
00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:57,727
and he sure is taking
his sweet time with the healing.
221
00:09:57,771 --> 00:10:00,730
He takes his sweet time
about a lot of things.
222
00:10:02,123 --> 00:10:03,733
Uh, not that I'm complaining.
223
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:06,693
You know, his will, not mine,
et cetera.
224
00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:08,738
[clears throat]
225
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:15,702
You know, one thing
I can say is that
226
00:10:15,745 --> 00:10:20,010
having a happy marriage
is-- it's hard work.
227
00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:22,317
Oh, I know. [chuckles]
As the pastor, people come to me
228
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,580
with relationship problems
all the time.
229
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,191
[chuckles] Bet you hear
some juicy ones, huh?
230
00:10:27,235 --> 00:10:29,193
"Juicy" doesn't begin
to describe it.
231
00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:32,196
Oh... give me a sample.I can't.
232
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:35,373
There's strict pastor-flock
confidentiality.
233
00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:37,288
Sure. Sure.
234
00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:39,377
Mm.[exhales]
235
00:10:41,423 --> 00:10:43,860
Mary doesn't tell you
things about us, does she?
236
00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:46,733
I'm... not at liberty to say.
237
00:10:46,776 --> 00:10:48,952
But she does, doesn't she?
238
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:51,520
Yeah.Yeah.
239
00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:01,356
These people clearly don't know
what ten percent means.
240
00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:03,010
What are you talking about?
241
00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:04,751
This is the list
of all the people who belong
242
00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:06,796
to the church
and how much money they donate.
243
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,494
Dorothy and Fred Nelson
gave a dollar last week.
244
00:11:09,538 --> 00:11:12,149
So?They own the Piggly Wiggly.
245
00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:13,803
They can afford
to give much more.
246
00:11:13,847 --> 00:11:15,109
Weird.
247
00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:18,025
You say "Piggly Wiggly"
and suddenly I'm hungry.
248
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:21,811
Really?
249
00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:23,508
You're drinking
in the morning now?
250
00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:26,250
What? Oh, look at that.
251
00:11:26,294 --> 00:11:27,991
Felt later.
252
00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:29,819
Hey, I haven't seen the pastor.
He go home?
253
00:11:29,863 --> 00:11:32,692
He hasn't come out
of Georgie's room.
254
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:35,172
Maybe he found
Georgie's magazines.
255
00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:37,435
He's a man of God.
256
00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:39,699
You're adorable.
257
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:47,097
[indistinct chatter]
258
00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:49,143
I have stories.
Come back here.
259
00:11:49,186 --> 00:11:51,667
It's my favorite table.Oh, hey, Connie.
260
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:52,886
Hi, Felicia.
261
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:54,365
Chip me for a deuce.
262
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:56,846
How's your daughter doing?
263
00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:58,152
Oh, surgery went great.
264
00:11:58,195 --> 00:11:59,196
Thanks for asking.
265
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,329
Her daughter got
kicked by a horse.
266
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:03,940
They had to pin a
couple of bones together.Oh, my.
267
00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:05,725
She won't be stealing
any more horses
268
00:12:05,768 --> 00:12:07,030
for a little while.[laughs]
269
00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:09,032
Your usual, Connie?Yeah.
270
00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:11,034
John, you want something?
271
00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,036
I would like a Fresca, please.
272
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,603
Got it, hon.
MAN:
Connie.
273
00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:17,606
Duke-North Carolina's
about to start. Want a piece?
274
00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:20,087
Yeah, baby. Give me the
points on Duke for a nickel.
275
00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:21,871
All right.[laughing]: A nickel.
276
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:23,264
That's a silly bet.
277
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:24,787
It's 50 bucks.
278
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:27,398
A thousand nickels.
Less silly.
279
00:12:27,442 --> 00:12:30,097
I must say, uh...
280
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:33,274
this is a side of you
I've never... seen before.
281
00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:34,884
You're all right with it,
aren't you?
282
00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,146
Oh, sure.
283
00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:39,236
When are you gonna
give that man your $50?
284
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,412
Don't worry
about it. Hit me.
285
00:12:41,456 --> 00:12:43,066
I'm a little worried.
286
00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:44,720
[coins jangling, people cheer]
287
00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:49,159
Pastor Jeff?
288
00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:51,248
Everything all right in there?
289
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:52,946
Oh, yeah.
290
00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:55,035
I've just been praying,
napping, crying.
291
00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:56,688
I like to mix it up.
292
00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:58,778
Well, how's it going?
293
00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:00,780
Good, actually.
294
00:13:00,823 --> 00:13:04,087
I have this feeling inside
that I should head home.
295
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:08,744
Well, then you got to honor
that feeling, that's God.
296
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,225
You're right. You
want to come with?
297
00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:13,270
Do you really want me there
298
00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:15,359
while you patch things up
with your wife?
299
00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:18,319
She's less likely to throw any
steak knives if we have company.
300
00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:23,193
Um... if you think
it'll help, I suppose...
301
00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:24,499
Great, let's hit it.
302
00:13:26,588 --> 00:13:27,850
Oh...
303
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:30,331
Hello, is this
the Nelson residence?
304
00:13:30,374 --> 00:13:32,072
Oh, good. I'm
Sheldon Cooper,
305
00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:33,682
the executive
assistant secretary
306
00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:35,727
at the First Baptist
Church of Medford.
307
00:13:35,771 --> 00:13:37,686
I'm looking through
our donation records,
308
00:13:37,729 --> 00:13:39,601
and I've noticed that
you've tapered off a bit.
309
00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:44,258
Well, yes, your children's
education is expensive,
310
00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:45,868
but so is running a church.
311
00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,652
Oh, boy!
312
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:50,786
I'll be sure to tell
the pastor. Goodbye.
313
00:13:53,049 --> 00:13:57,271
That earned a sip of Yoo-hoo.
314
00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:59,621
Okay. Who's next?
315
00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:02,102
Wendy and Bill Mackenzie.
316
00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:03,886
Of Mackenzie Chevrolet?
317
00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:06,628
Now those are what we call
"deep pockets."
318
00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:10,850
Pat here, double the ten,
and split the aces.
319
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,112
Connie...
320
00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:15,202
I found an old-fashioned
malt shop where we can
321
00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:18,509
have milkshakes and
listen to the jukebox,
322
00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:20,076
like I never did
in high school.
323
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,296
Yeah, great.
Not now, John.
324
00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:24,994
Okay, well, I was just hoping
we could do something together.
325
00:14:25,038 --> 00:14:28,476
For God's sake, John. I'm
getting my ass kicked here!
326
00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:31,044
I'm sorry.
327
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:38,834
Oh, Felicia,
you're killing me.
328
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,444
[sighs]
329
00:14:40,488 --> 00:14:42,707
Chip me another deuce.
330
00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:45,362
[door opens]
331
00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:52,717
Hello?
332
00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:54,110
Selena?
333
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,940
Ooh. Big TV, fancy.
334
00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:05,295
[reading in Spanish]
335
00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:10,344
"Con amor,Selena."
336
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:11,911
Which means?
337
00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:16,176
"Life is too short to be
married to a loser.
338
00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:18,308
"I'm leaving you.
339
00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:20,354
Love, Selena."
340
00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:22,486
"Love, Selena"?
341
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:25,141
Well, that's kind
of a mixed message.Yeah.
342
00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:33,106
Oh, I couldn't tell you
how much to give.
343
00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:35,543
But I can tell you
the Stuckeys stepped up
344
00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:37,762
for a thousand dollars.
345
00:15:37,806 --> 00:15:41,766
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
346
00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:44,595
Well, you need to give what's
comfortable for you.
347
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:46,467
And of course, I don't need
to remind you,
348
00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:48,512
it's entirely tax deductible.
349
00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:53,996
And at the next
pancake breakfast,
350
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,824
you can hold
your head high.
351
00:15:57,913 --> 00:16:00,002
Thank you. That's
very generous.
352
00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:01,177
Goodbye.
353
00:16:03,745 --> 00:16:05,181
The pancake line
closed it.
354
00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:07,705
We are so going
to heaven.
355
00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:10,056
I don't understand why
God would tell me to go home
356
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:12,014
just to find out
my wife left me.
357
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:14,190
Not that he needs me
to defend him,
358
00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:17,280
but in God's defense,
he didn't say she'd be there.
359
00:16:17,324 --> 00:16:20,892
Mary, I hate to say this,
but I think it's time
360
00:16:20,936 --> 00:16:22,198
for me to move on.
361
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:24,418
I thought even as a
teenager, I'd been called
362
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:28,117
to preach the word of God,
but maybe that was just my ego.
363
00:16:28,161 --> 00:16:30,163
Maybe I'm not meant to do this.
364
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:34,080
Don't say that.
You're a great preacher.Thank you.
365
00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:36,908
But it's clear. I need
to trod a new path.
366
00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:40,564
Well, what would you do?
Trodding wise.
367
00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:42,001
I don't know.
368
00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:44,829
Maybe work with my hands
amongst men, on an oil rig,
369
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:46,179
or a fishing trawler.
370
00:16:47,658 --> 00:16:49,965
I also know how
to blow glass.
371
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,402
I could turn a pretty
penny at swap meets.
372
00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:56,928
Those all sound
like solid options.
Mm-hmm.
373
00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:59,192
Oh, red light, red light!
374
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:02,543
[horn blaring]
375
00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:04,240
[siren wailing]
376
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:13,293
Oh, phooey.
377
00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:14,642
Tell you what, Jody.
378
00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:17,384
Why don't you go upstairs
to your daddy's bedroom,
379
00:17:17,427 --> 00:17:19,125
and see how much
is in his wallet?
380
00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:23,825
Don't worry, it's not
stealing if it's for God.
381
00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:27,002
What are y'all up to?Just helping Mom with
some church work.
382
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,831
Well, aren't you two great kids.
383
00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:31,702
We like to think so.
384
00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:33,182
[chuckles]
385
00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:36,011
Really? That much?
386
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,059
[coins jangling]
387
00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:50,069
I think I need
to apologize.
388
00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:53,159
I know you do.I'm very sorry.
389
00:17:53,202 --> 00:17:54,595
Sometimes when things
aren't going my way,
390
00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:56,205
I just get
a little cranky.
391
00:17:56,249 --> 00:17:59,382
May I ask you
a personal question?Sure.
392
00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:02,733
Does your gambling
constitute a problem?
393
00:18:03,778 --> 00:18:06,824
Not today. Bam!
394
00:18:06,868 --> 00:18:07,956
[both laughing]
395
00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,697
Come on. Let me
take you out to dinner.
396
00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:10,828
[whooping][chuckling]
397
00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:14,136
Don't forget that
you promised Sheldon
398
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,530
if you won,
you'd donate to the church.
399
00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,184
You want to see me
get cranky again?
400
00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:21,752
No, I don't.Well, let's go strap on
some bibs and eat lobster.
401
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:23,232
Whoa!
402
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:26,017
So you're over at First
Baptist Church, huh?
403
00:18:26,061 --> 00:18:27,149
Yes, Officer.
404
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:28,629
I'm new in this area.
405
00:18:28,672 --> 00:18:30,109
I've been looking
for a church.
406
00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:33,329
Well, you're in luck.
It's a wonderful congregation,
407
00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:36,158
and this man right here
is our beloved pastor.
408
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:39,944
Oh. Are you his wife?
409
00:18:39,988 --> 00:18:43,122
Oh, no, I'm church secretary.
He's actually single.
410
00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:45,646
Well, technically...He's single.
411
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,128
Well, I'll try
to come by sometime.
412
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,434
Tomorrow's Sunday.
He'll be speaking.
413
00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:54,133
All right. Maybe I'll
see y'all tomorrow.
414
00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:58,963
You have a nice day.
415
00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:00,704
Aren't you gonna
give me a ticket?
416
00:19:01,749 --> 00:19:03,490
Do you wanta ticket?
417
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:06,232
He does not.
Thank you, Officer.
418
00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:08,886
[chuckles]
419
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,977
Pastor?Yeah?
420
00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:14,631
You were saying
you don't understand
421
00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:17,808
why God told you to go home.
You get it now?
422
00:19:17,852 --> 00:19:19,506
Think I do.
423
00:19:26,034 --> 00:19:27,383
Welcome, church.
424
00:19:27,427 --> 00:19:31,474
I pray you all had a blessed
and prosperous week.
425
00:19:31,518 --> 00:19:32,258
I'm excited to
426
00:19:32,301 --> 00:19:33,650
share with you
427
00:19:33,694 --> 00:19:37,045
what the Lord put on
my heart for today.
428
00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:39,003
I'm surprised you're here
this morning.
429
00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:42,006
Hey. I got to
support my pal.
430
00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:44,444
The renewal of faith
is something that happens
431
00:19:44,487 --> 00:19:46,272
over and over.
432
00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:50,101
When you have faith...You need to move
fast, Officer.
433
00:19:50,145 --> 00:19:52,191
He's not gonna be on
the market for long.
434
00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:54,845
Roger that.JEFF: For so many months,
435
00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:57,239
our little parish
has been struggling financially.
436
00:19:57,283 --> 00:19:59,676
But by the grace of God
and his provision,
437
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,984
we have received the most
donations in church history!
438
00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:05,726
Praise Jesus!
439
00:20:05,769 --> 00:20:08,859
ALL: Praise Jesus![applause]
440
00:20:08,903 --> 00:20:11,688
So it's all Jesus, we
don't get any credit?
441
00:20:11,732 --> 00:20:14,778
We need to start
our own church.They don't pay taxes.
442
00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:17,520
It's a very sound
business model.
443
00:20:17,564 --> 00:20:19,522
JEFF: Say amen
when you get there, huh?
444
00:20:19,566 --> 00:20:22,525
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445
00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:28,531
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446
00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:30,577
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