Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,827 --> 00:00:04,067
A few times a
year, there was a dedicated day
2
00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:06,049
where my school was closed.
3
00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:08,182
This allowed
the teachers to catch up
4
00:00:08,225 --> 00:00:09,922
on their administrative duties.
5
00:00:09,966 --> 00:00:12,751
While I was normally against
a break from learning,
6
00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:15,754
I did applaud the Medford
faculty's commitment
7
00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:17,843
to our education. Oh, man.
8
00:00:17,887 --> 00:00:20,977
How great is this place
without kids in it?: I heard that.
9
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,501
On one of those
days, I got to spend time
10
00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:24,981
with my mom at her job.
11
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,132
Did you write that?
12
00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:28,289
You betcha. Instead of puns,
13
00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:31,118
have you considered composing
a humorous palindrome?
14
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:34,251
It's a phrase that reads
the same backwards as forwards.
15
00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:36,993
For example, "Do geese see God?"
16
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,257
Trust me. Both ways.
17
00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:42,564
Come inside.
18
00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:46,002
Some other good ones
are radar, level, kayak.
19
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,004
That's a funny word. Kayak.
20
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,701
Never get me in one.
21
00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:52,052
So what's the plan?
22
00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:53,575
How will I be entertained
all day?
23
00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:55,838
I thought you could be
my little helper.
24
00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:58,884
I prefer executive assistant.
Carries more weight.
25
00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:02,192
Fine. You stay here, I'm gonna
go talk to Pastor Jeff.
26
00:01:02,236 --> 00:01:03,454
Mom.
27
00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:04,629
What?
28
00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:07,502
"Mom" is also
a palindrome. M-O-M.
29
00:01:11,854 --> 00:01:13,247
Good morning, Peg.
30
00:01:13,290 --> 00:01:16,293
Any morning you wake up
is a good morning.
31
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:18,165
Okay.
32
00:01:19,905 --> 00:01:21,603
Come in.
33
00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:24,214
Good morn... oh,
it's dark in here.
34
00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:25,781
Uh-huh.
35
00:01:25,824 --> 00:01:27,826
Everything okay?
36
00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:29,872
Mm-hmm.
37
00:01:29,915 --> 00:01:32,701
I need you to use your words.
38
00:01:34,572 --> 00:01:36,705
My marriage is over.
39
00:01:36,748 --> 00:01:38,141
Mm-hmm...
40
00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:40,491
♪ Vaya con Dios
41
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:44,147
♪ My darling...
42
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:49,935
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
43
00:01:49,979 --> 00:01:52,547
♪ I bet I could be your hero
44
00:01:52,590 --> 00:01:54,897
♪ I am a mighty little man
45
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:03,645
We don't even sleep
in the same bed anymore.
46
00:02:03,688 --> 00:02:06,996
In the '50s,
people had separate beds.
47
00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:10,086
Lucy and Ricky did it.
Their marriage worked.
48
00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:14,482
I-I'm sure
it's just a rough patch.
49
00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:16,832
Boy, I hope so.
50
00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:19,356
Well, if there's any way
I can make your life easier,
51
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,923
you let me know.
52
00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:23,795
Thank you, Mary.
I really appreciate it.
53
00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:29,410
Oh, I almost forgot, um,
Sheldon's here with me today.
54
00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:31,412
Great.
55
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:39,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
56
00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:48,820
Hey, little man. How you doing?
57
00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,866
You smell like cigarettes.
58
00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:52,824
You're fun.
59
00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:54,435
Do you know what this binder is?
60
00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:58,482
It's a record of donations
people make to the church.
61
00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:00,354
This data could
easily be transferred
62
00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:01,964
into a computerized spreadsheet.
63
00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:03,139
Why isn't it?
64
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,358
No idea.
65
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:07,578
You also smell
like mothballs and Ben-Gay.
66
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,016
Bye.
67
00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:17,153
I hope you don't mind, I invited
Pastor Jeff for dinner.
68
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,241
That's fine.
69
00:03:18,285 --> 00:03:19,677
I was talking to your father.
70
00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:20,983
What's the occasion?
71
00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:24,029
No occasion,
just thought it'd be nice.
72
00:03:24,073 --> 00:03:25,422
His wife coming, too?
73
00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:27,468
No. Just him.
74
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:28,643
They having problems?
75
00:03:28,686 --> 00:03:30,688
He's just coming to dinner.
That's all.
76
00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:32,342
You two having problems?
77
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:33,430
Are we?
78
00:03:33,474 --> 00:03:34,431
No.
79
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:35,650
Pastor Jeff's wife
80
00:03:35,693 --> 00:03:37,260
is so much prettier than him.
81
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,393
It's like Barbie
married a turtle.
82
00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:41,917
HEY. HERE'S A FUN IDEA:
83
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,658
How about you and Sheldon
have dinner
84
00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,877
at Meemaw's tonight? All right.
85
00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:48,228
They area weird-looking couple.
86
00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:49,794
You want to eat
at my mom's, too?
87
00:03:49,838 --> 00:03:51,796
Oh, come on. You got eyes.
88
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,499
Pastor, would you like
to lead us in grace?
89
00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:01,197
I'd be honored.
90
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,461
Heavenly Father,
thank you for this food.
91
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:07,247
I pray that it nourishes
and strengthens us,
92
00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:09,727
and bless Mary for preparing it.
93
00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:11,860
And thank you for the Coopers
94
00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:16,299
who have invited me
into their loving home.
95
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:19,302
They are a shining example
96
00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:22,827
of what a marriage can be.
97
00:04:22,871 --> 00:04:27,310
One that I hope
to have again someday.
98
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:29,965
Amen. And please give
me the strength...
99
00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:31,053
Sorry.
100
00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:33,316
The strength to walk this road
101
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:38,190
with unconditional love
and joy in my heart.
102
00:04:38,234 --> 00:04:39,322
Amen.
103
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:40,454
Amen. Amen.
104
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,459
Well, let's eat!
105
00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:49,724
Cheers. Cheers.
106
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:51,595
Cheers. Cheers.
107
00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:54,511
Dang, this place is nice.
108
00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:57,340
That's because it was
supposed to be a date.
109
00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:59,211
Cool. My first date.
110
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:01,059
Meemaw, I've been going through
the church records,
111
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:03,955
and I noticed you haven't made
a donation in quite a long time.
112
00:05:03,999 --> 00:05:06,175
Why are you going
through the records?
113
00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:08,177
I'm an executive assistant.
114
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:09,874
You see,
115
00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:12,616
God and I have a deal. And
when he helps me win big
116
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:14,749
at the casino, I give him a cut.
117
00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:16,664
And lately, he has
not been holding up
118
00:05:16,707 --> 00:05:18,056
his part of the bargain.
119
00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:21,495
"Steak aw poyverwith fritties"?
120
00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:23,235
It's French. Oh.
121
00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,281
What's a crock monster?
122
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,978
It's croque monsieur,
123
00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:30,852
and it's really just a grilled
cheese sandwich with ham.
124
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:32,593
I want that.
125
00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:35,683
There's lemon in this water.
126
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,955
So, uh, who do you
think the Oilers
127
00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:48,565
are gonna take in the draft?
128
00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:51,002
Oh, I don't
really follow sports.
129
00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:53,570
I'm just gonna eat.
130
00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:59,837
What's he doing here?
Y'all getting a divorce?
131
00:05:59,881 --> 00:06:02,797
No. No, he's just
here for dinner.
132
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:06,148
Oh. Welcome, Your Holiness.
133
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:09,630
I thought you were hanging
out with Veronica tonight.
134
00:06:09,673 --> 00:06:12,154
We were supposed to,
but then she invited a bunch
135
00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:13,808
of her choir friends over,
136
00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:15,984
and it turned
into a stupid Bible study.
137
00:06:16,027 --> 00:06:18,160
No offense. None taken.
138
00:06:18,203 --> 00:06:19,466
Honestly,
139
00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:21,468
I do not understand
the female mind.
140
00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,165
Do something.
141
00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:25,820
Georgie, why don't you go eat
dinner in front of the TV?
142
00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:28,649
No, it's all right. Sounds like
Georgie's having trouble
143
00:06:28,692 --> 00:06:30,564
navigating the perilous waters
144
00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:32,174
of a relationship.
145
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:34,350
Believe me, I can understand.
146
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,874
You having problems
with your hot wife?
147
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:41,705
Maybe I'll go eat by the TV.
148
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:48,103
I'm liking my crock monster.
149
00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:49,626
Mmm. Me, too.
150
00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:51,846
I can't taste anything
after the lemon water.
151
00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:53,848
I'm glad y'all
are having a good time.
152
00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,023
You're welcome.
153
00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:56,633
Where we having dinner tomorrow?
154
00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,330
Nowhere.
155
00:06:58,374 --> 00:07:01,508
Dr. Sturgis and I are going to
Louisiana, do a little gambling.
156
00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:03,814
So a donation could
be forthcoming?
157
00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:05,207
Don't jinx me.
158
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:08,515
It's my first time
going to a casino.
159
00:07:08,558 --> 00:07:11,692
It's amazing. There's bright
lights and bells and buzzers
160
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:12,997
and people yelling.
161
00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:14,738
Ugh.
162
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:19,569
Veronica says
I'm the nicest guy she knows.
163
00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:21,702
She also says she only wants
to date nice guys.
164
00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:24,182
Does that mean
she wants to date me? I bet she doesn't.
165
00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:26,620
No, she does not.
Doesn't make any sense.
166
00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:28,535
Nothing they do makes any sense.
167
00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:31,451
I know... At least
he's not crying anymore.
168
00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:33,134
Devil's got
something to do with it.
169
00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:42,766
Mary, George, I can't
thank you enough for this.
170
00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:44,028
It was our pleasure.
171
00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:47,510
So, Pastor, are you gonna try
172
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,643
and talk things out with Selena?
173
00:07:49,686 --> 00:07:51,819
Well, we're really
not on speaking terms,
174
00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:54,822
so I'll just be heading back to
my office, sleep on the couch.
175
00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:57,651
That's ridiculous.
He can stay with us, can't he?
176
00:07:57,694 --> 00:08:00,654
Uh, I guess that'd be okay.
177
00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:03,526
Oh.
178
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:04,875
I couldn't possibly impose.
179
00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:06,007
Sure you could.
180
00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:08,705
In fact, you can take my room.
181
00:08:08,749 --> 00:08:11,882
Well, y'all are too kind.
182
00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:14,842
Hello. Oh.
183
00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:16,365
Did y'all have a good time?
184
00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:18,280
Yes. It was great.
185
00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:20,369
Oh, Mom, Pastor Jeff is
gonna be spending the night.
186
00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:22,284
If the kids could
sleep at your place?
187
00:08:22,327 --> 00:08:24,242
No. Bye.
188
00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:36,211
George.
189
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:38,300
What? What's wrong?
190
00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:40,650
The pastor's up making tea.
191
00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:42,826
What, you want me to blow on it?
192
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:44,654
Go talk to him.
193
00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:46,047
About what?
194
00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:47,875
I don't know.
195
00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,920
Maybe you could give him
a male perspective
196
00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:51,139
on relationship issues.
197
00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:54,011
How about this?
198
00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:57,667
What if I close my eyes
and pray on it?
199
00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:00,235
Hey.
200
00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:03,020
Oh, hi. I hope
I didn't wake you.
201
00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:06,807
Uh, no, no.
Just... get-getting some water.
202
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:11,507
Can I fix you some chamomile?
203
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,075
No, thanks.
204
00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:19,210
So...
205
00:09:22,344 --> 00:09:24,259
Tough times, huh?
206
00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:25,652
Yeah.
207
00:09:25,695 --> 00:09:27,262
Yeah.
208
00:09:39,491 --> 00:09:42,016
Hey, uh,
does the Bible say anything
209
00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:44,105
about heartache and such?
210
00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:47,717
PSALM 147, VERSE THREE:
"The Lord healeth
211
00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:50,372
the broken in heart,
and bindeth up their wounds."
212
00:09:50,415 --> 00:09:52,896
Well, there you go-eth.
213
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:54,942
Except I'm feeling kicked
in the nethers right now,
214
00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:57,727
and he sure is taking
his sweet time with the healing.
215
00:09:57,771 --> 00:10:00,730
He takes his sweet time
about a lot of things.
216
00:10:02,123 --> 00:10:03,733
Uh, not that I'm complaining.
217
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:06,693
You know, his will, not mine,
et cetera.
218
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:15,702
You know, one thing
I can say is that
219
00:10:15,745 --> 00:10:20,010
having a happy marriage
is... it's hard work.
220
00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:22,317
Oh, I know.
As the pastor, people come to me
221
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,580
with relationship problems
all the time.
222
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,191
Bet you hear
some juicy ones, huh?
223
00:10:27,235 --> 00:10:29,193
"Juicy" doesn't begin
to describe it.
224
00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:32,196
Oh... give me a sample. I can't.
225
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:35,373
There's strict pastor-flock
confidentiality.
226
00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:37,288
Sure. Sure.
227
00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:39,377
Mm.
228
00:10:41,423 --> 00:10:43,860
Mary doesn't tell you
things about us, does she?
229
00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:46,733
I'm... not at liberty to say.
230
00:10:46,776 --> 00:10:48,952
But she does, doesn't she?
231
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:51,520
Yeah.Yeah.
232
00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:01,356
These people clearly don't know
what ten percent means.
233
00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:03,010
What are you talking about?
234
00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:04,770
This is the list
of all the people who belong
235
00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:06,796
to the church
and how much money they donate.
236
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,494
Dorothy and Fred Nelson
gave a dollar last week.
237
00:11:09,538 --> 00:11:12,149
So? They own the Piggly Wiggly.
238
00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:13,803
They can afford
to give much more.
239
00:11:13,847 --> 00:11:15,109
Weird.
240
00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:18,025
You say "Piggly Wiggly"
and suddenly I'm hungry.
241
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:21,811
Really?
242
00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:23,508
You're drinking
in the morning now?
243
00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:26,250
What? Oh, look at that.
244
00:11:26,294 --> 00:11:27,991
Felt later.
245
00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:29,819
Hey, I haven't seen the pastor.
He go home?
246
00:11:29,863 --> 00:11:32,692
He hasn't come out
of Georgie's room.
247
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:35,172
Maybe he found
Georgie's magazines.
248
00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:37,435
He's a man of God.
249
00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:39,699
You're adorable.
250
00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:49,143
I have stories. Come back here.
251
00:11:49,186 --> 00:11:51,667
It's my favorite table. Oh, hey, Connie.
252
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:52,886
Hi, Felicia.
253
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:54,365
Chip me for a deuce.
254
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:56,846
How's your daughter doing?
255
00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:58,152
Oh, surgery went great.
256
00:11:58,195 --> 00:11:59,196
Thanks for asking.
257
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,329
Her daughter got
kicked by a horse.
258
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:03,940
They had to pin a
couple of bones together. Oh, my.
259
00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:05,725
She won't be stealing
any more horses
260
00:12:05,768 --> 00:12:07,030
for a little while.
261
00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:09,032
Your usual, Connie? Yeah.
262
00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:11,034
John, you want something?
263
00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,036
I would like a Fresca, please.
264
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,603
Got it, hon. MAN: Connie.
265
00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:17,606
Duke-North Carolina's
about to start. Want a piece?
266
00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:20,087
Yeah, baby. Give me the
points on Duke for a nickel.
267
00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:21,871
A nickel.
268
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:23,264
That's a silly bet.
269
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:24,787
It's 50 bucks.
270
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:27,398
A thousand nickels. Less silly.
271
00:12:27,442 --> 00:12:30,097
I must say, uh...
272
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:33,274
this is a side of you
I've never... seen before.
273
00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:34,884
You're all right with it,
aren't you?
274
00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,146
Oh, sure.
275
00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:39,236
When are you gonna
give that man your $50?
276
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,412
Don't worry about it. Hit me.
277
00:12:41,456 --> 00:12:43,066
I'm a little worried.
278
00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:49,159
Pastor Jeff?
279
00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:51,248
Everything all right in there?
280
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:52,946
Oh, yeah.
281
00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:55,035
I've just been praying,
napping, crying.
282
00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:56,688
I like to mix it up.
283
00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:58,778
Well, how's it going?
284
00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:00,780
Good, actually.
285
00:13:00,823 --> 00:13:04,087
I have this feeling inside
that I should head home.
286
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:08,744
Well, then you got to honor
that feeling, that's God.
287
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,225
You're right. You
want to come with?
288
00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:13,270
Do you really want me there
289
00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:15,359
while you patch things up
with your wife?
290
00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:18,319
She's less likely to throw any
steak knives if we have company.
291
00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:23,193
Um... if you think
it'll help, I suppose...
292
00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:24,499
Great, let's hit it.
293
00:13:26,588 --> 00:13:27,850
Oh...
294
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:30,331
Hello, is this
the Nelson residence?
295
00:13:30,374 --> 00:13:32,072
Oh, good. I'm Sheldon Cooper,
296
00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:33,682
the executive
assistant secretary
297
00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:35,727
at the First Baptist
Church of Medford.
298
00:13:35,771 --> 00:13:37,686
I'm looking through
our donation records,
299
00:13:37,729 --> 00:13:39,601
and I've noticed that
you've tapered off a bit.
300
00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:44,258
Well, yes, your children's
education is expensive,
301
00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:45,868
but so is running a church.
302
00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,652
Oh, boy!
303
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:50,786
I'll be sure to tell
the pastor. Goodbye.
304
00:13:53,049 --> 00:13:57,271
That earned a sip of Yoo-hoo.
305
00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:59,621
Okay. Who's next?
306
00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:02,102
Wendy and Bill Mackenzie.
307
00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:03,886
Of Mackenzie Chevrolet?
308
00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:06,628
Now those are what we call
"deep pockets."
309
00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:10,850
Pat here, double the ten,
and split the aces.
310
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,112
Connie...
311
00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:15,202
I found an old-fashioned
malt shop where we can
312
00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:18,509
have milkshakes and
listen to the jukebox,
313
00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:20,076
like I never did in high school.
314
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,296
Yeah, great. Not now, John.
315
00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:24,994
Okay, well, I was just hoping
we could do something together.
316
00:14:25,038 --> 00:14:28,476
For God's sake, John. I'm
getting my ass kicked here!
317
00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:31,044
I'm sorry.
318
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:38,834
Oh, Felicia, you're killing me.
319
00:14:40,488 --> 00:14:42,707
Chip me another deuce.
320
00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:52,717
Hello?
321
00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:54,110
Selena?
322
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,940
Ooh. Big TV, fancy.
323
00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:10,344
"Con amor, Selena."
324
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:11,911
Which means?
325
00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:16,176
"Life is too short to be
married to a loser.
326
00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:18,308
"I'm leaving you.
327
00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:20,354
Love, Selena."
328
00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:22,486
"Love, Selena"?
329
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:25,141
Well, that's kind
of a mixed message.Yeah.
330
00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:33,106
Oh, I couldn't tell you
how much to give.
331
00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:35,543
But I can tell you
the Stuckeys stepped up
332
00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:37,762
for a thousand dollars.
333
00:15:37,806 --> 00:15:41,766
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
334
00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:44,595
Well, you need to give what's
comfortable for you.
335
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:46,467
And of course, I don't need
to remind you,
336
00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:48,512
it's entirely tax deductible.
337
00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:53,996
And at the next
pancake breakfast,
338
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,824
you can hold your head high.
339
00:15:57,913 --> 00:16:00,002
Thank you. That's very generous.
340
00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:01,177
Goodbye.
341
00:16:03,745 --> 00:16:05,181
The pancake line closed it.
342
00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:07,705
We are so going to heaven.
343
00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:10,056
I don't understand why
God would tell me to go home
344
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:12,014
just to find out
my wife left me.
345
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:14,190
Not that he needs me
to defend him,
346
00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:17,280
but in God's defense,
he didn't say she'd be there.
347
00:16:17,324 --> 00:16:20,892
Mary, I hate to say this,
but I think it's time
348
00:16:20,936 --> 00:16:22,198
for me to move on.
349
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:24,418
I thought even as a
teenager, I'd been called
350
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:28,117
to preach the word of God,
but maybe that was just my ego.
351
00:16:28,161 --> 00:16:30,163
Maybe I'm not meant to do this.
352
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:34,080
Don't say that.
You're a great preacher. Thank you.
353
00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:36,908
But it's clear. I need
to trod a new path.
354
00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:40,564
Well, what would you do?
Trodding wise.
355
00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:42,001
I don't know.
356
00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:44,829
Maybe work with my hands
amongst men, on an oil rig,
357
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:46,179
or a fishing trawler.
358
00:16:47,658 --> 00:16:49,965
I also know how to blow glass.
359
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,402
I could turn a pretty
penny at swap meets.
360
00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:56,928
Those all sound like solid options.
Mm-hmm.
361
00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:59,192
Oh, red light, red light!
362
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:13,293
Oh, phooey.
363
00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:14,642
Tell you what, Jody.
364
00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:17,384
Why don't you go upstairs
to your daddy's bedroom,
365
00:17:17,427 --> 00:17:19,125
and see how much
is in his wallet?
366
00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:23,825
Don't worry, it's not
stealing if it's for God.
367
00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:27,002
What are y'all up to? Just helping Mom with
some church work.
368
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,831
Well, aren't you two great kids.
369
00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:31,702
We like to think so.
370
00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:36,011
Really? That much?
371
00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:50,069
I think I need to apologize.
372
00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:53,159
I know you do. I'm very sorry.
373
00:17:53,202 --> 00:17:54,614
Sometimes when things
aren't going my way,
374
00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:56,205
I just get a little cranky.
375
00:17:56,249 --> 00:17:59,382
May I ask you
a personal question? Sure.
376
00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:02,733
Does your gambling
constitute a problem?
377
00:18:03,778 --> 00:18:06,824
Not today. Bam!
378
00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,697
Come on. Let me
take you out to dinner.
379
00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:14,136
Don't forget that
you promised Sheldon
380
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,530
if you won,
you'd donate to the church.
381
00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,184
You want to see me
get cranky again?
382
00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:21,752
No, I don't.Well, let's go strap on
some bibs and eat lobster.
383
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:23,232
Whoa!
384
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:26,017
So you're over at First
Baptist Church, huh?
385
00:18:26,061 --> 00:18:27,149
Yes, Officer.
386
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:28,629
I'm new in this area.
387
00:18:28,672 --> 00:18:30,109
I've been looking for a church.
388
00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:33,329
Well, you're in luck.
It's a wonderful congregation,
389
00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:36,158
and this man right here
is our beloved pastor.
390
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:39,944
Oh. Are you his wife?
391
00:18:39,988 --> 00:18:43,122
Oh, no, I'm church secretary.
He's actually single.
392
00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:45,646
Well, technically... He's single.
393
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,128
Well, I'll try
to come by sometime.
394
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,434
Tomorrow's Sunday.
He'll be speaking.
395
00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:54,133
All right. Maybe I'll
see y'all tomorrow.
396
00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:58,963
You have a nice day.
397
00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:00,704
Aren't you gonna
give me a ticket?
398
00:19:01,749 --> 00:19:03,490
Do you wanta ticket?
399
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:06,232
He does not. Thank you, Officer.
400
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,977
Pastor? Yeah?
401
00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:14,631
You were saying
you don't understand
402
00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:17,808
why God told you to go home.
You get it now?
403
00:19:17,852 --> 00:19:19,506
Think I do.
404
00:19:26,034 --> 00:19:27,383
Welcome, church.
405
00:19:27,427 --> 00:19:31,474
I pray you all had a blessed
and prosperous week.
406
00:19:31,518 --> 00:19:32,258
I'm excited to
407
00:19:32,301 --> 00:19:33,650
share with you
408
00:19:33,694 --> 00:19:37,045
what the Lord put on
my heart for today.
409
00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:39,003
I'm surprised you're here
this morning.
410
00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:42,006
Hey. I got to support my pal.
411
00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:44,444
The renewal of faith
is something that happens
412
00:19:44,487 --> 00:19:46,272
over and over.
413
00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:50,101
When you have faith... You need to move
fast, Officer.
414
00:19:50,145 --> 00:19:52,191
He's not gonna be on
the market for long.
415
00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:54,845
For so many months,
416
00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:57,239
our little parish
has been struggling financially.
417
00:19:57,283 --> 00:19:59,676
But by the grace of God
and his provision,
418
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,984
we have received the most
donations in church history!
419
00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:05,726
Praise Jesus!
420
00:20:05,769 --> 00:20:08,859
Praise Jesus!
421
00:20:08,903 --> 00:20:11,688
So it's all Jesus, we
don't get any credit?
422
00:20:11,732 --> 00:20:14,778
We need to start
our own church. They don't pay taxes.
423
00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:17,520
It's a very sound
business model.
424
00:20:17,564 --> 00:20:19,522
Say amen
when you get there, huh?
425
00:20:19,566 --> 00:20:22,525
Captioning sponsored by CBS.
426
00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:28,531
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
427
00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:30,735
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
427
00:20:31,305 --> 00:20:37,180
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org
30417
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
