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ADULT SHELDON: A few times a
year, there was a dedicated day
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where my school was closed.
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This allowed the teachers to catch up
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00:00:08,190 --> 00:00:09,929
on their administrative duties.
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While I was normally against
a break from learning,
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I did applaud the Medford
faculty's commitment
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- to our education.
- Oh, man.
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- How great is this place without kids in it?
- [LAUGHS]: I heard that.
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ADULT SHELDON: On one of
those days, I got to spend time
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with my mom at her job.
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SHELDON: Did you write that?
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- You betcha.
- Instead of puns,
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00:00:28,350 --> 00:00:31,170
have you considered composing
a humorous palindrome?
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00:00:31,180 --> 00:00:34,309
It's a phrase that reads the
same backwards as forwards.
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00:00:34,310 --> 00:00:37,010
For example, "Do geese see God?"
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Trust me. Both ways.
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Come inside.
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SHELDON: Some other good
ones are radar, level, kayak.
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That's a funny word. Kayak.
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Never get me in one.
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So what's the plan?
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How will I be entertained all day?
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I thought you could be my little helper.
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I prefer executive assistant.
Carries more weight.
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Fine. You stay here, I'm
gonna go talk to Pastor Jeff.
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Mom.
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What?
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"Mom" is also a palindrome. M-O-M.
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Good morning, Peg.
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Any morning you wake up
is a good morning. [COUGHS]
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Okay.
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[WHEEZING]
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- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- Come in.
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Good morn... oh, it's dark in here.
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Uh-huh.
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Everything okay?
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Mm-hmm.
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I need you to use your words.
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My marriage is over.
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Mm-hmm...
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♪ Vaya con Dios ♪
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♪ My darling... ♪
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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We don't even sleep in
the same bed anymore.
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In the '50s, people had separate beds.
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Lucy and Ricky did it.
Their marriage worked.
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I-I'm sure it's just a rough patch.
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Boy, I hope so.
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Well, if there's any way I
can make your life easier,
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you let me know.
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Thank you, Mary. I really appreciate it.
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Oh, I almost forgot, um,
Sheldon's here with me today.
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Great.
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Hey, little man. How you doing?
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You smell like cigarettes.
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You're fun.
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00:02:52,660 --> 00:02:54,489
Do you know what this binder is?
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It's a record of donations
people make to the church.
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This data could easily be transferred
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00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,969
into a computerized spreadsheet.
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Why isn't it?
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No idea.
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00:03:04,370 --> 00:03:07,540
You also smell like
mothballs and Ben-Gay.
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00:03:09,150 --> 00:03:10,980
Bye.
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00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:17,159
I hope you don't mind, I
invited Pastor Jeff for dinner.
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That's fine.
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00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:19,680
I was talking to your father.
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00:03:19,690 --> 00:03:20,989
What's the occasion?
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00:03:20,990 --> 00:03:24,039
No occasion, just thought it'd be nice.
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00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:25,429
His wife coming, too?
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00:03:25,430 --> 00:03:27,470
No. Just him.
76
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:28,649
They having problems?
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00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:30,699
He's just coming to dinner. That's all.
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00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:32,349
You two having problems?
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00:03:32,350 --> 00:03:33,399
Are we?
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00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:34,439
No.
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00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:35,659
Pastor Jeff's wife
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is so much prettier than him.
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It's like Barbie married a turtle.
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Hey. Here's a fun idea:
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how about you and Sheldon have dinner
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00:03:43,670 --> 00:03:45,880
- at Meemaw's tonight?
- All right.
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[QUIETLY]: They are a
weird-looking couple.
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00:03:48,130 --> 00:03:49,799
You want to eat at my mom's, too?
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00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,760
Oh, come on. You got eyes.
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00:03:56,340 --> 00:03:58,629
Pastor, would you like
to lead us in grace?
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00:03:58,630 --> 00:04:01,200
I'd be honored.
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00:04:01,210 --> 00:04:04,340
Heavenly Father, thank
you for this food.
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00:04:04,350 --> 00:04:07,250
I pray that it nourishes
and strengthens us,
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00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:09,730
and bless Mary for preparing it.
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00:04:09,740 --> 00:04:11,869
[CRYING]: And thank you for the Coopers
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who have invited me
into their loving home.
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They are a shining example
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of what a marriage can be.
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One that I hope to have again someday.
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- Amen.
- And please give me the strength...
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00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,059
[WHISPERS]: Sorry.
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The strength to walk this road
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with unconditional love
and joy in my heart.
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00:04:38,030 --> 00:04:39,160
Amen.
105
00:04:39,170 --> 00:04:40,459
- Amen.
- Amen.
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00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:42,250
[SNIFFLES]
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Well, let's eat!
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- Cheers.
- Cheers.
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00:04:49,730 --> 00:04:51,599
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
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00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,519
Dang, this place is nice.
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00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,349
That's because it was
supposed to be a date.
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00:04:57,350 --> 00:04:58,909
Cool. My first date.
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00:04:58,910 --> 00:05:01,119
Meemaw, I've been going
through the church records,
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00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:04,039
and I noticed you haven't made
a donation in quite a long time.
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00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,319
Why are you going through the records?
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00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,320
I'm an executive assistant.
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00:05:08,330 --> 00:05:09,879
- Good for you.
- MEEMAW: You see,
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God and I have a deal. And
when he helps me win big
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00:05:12,820 --> 00:05:14,939
at the casino, I give him a cut.
120
00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,669
And lately, he has not been holding up
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his part of the bargain.
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"Steak aw poyver with fritties"?
123
00:05:21,970 --> 00:05:23,709
- It's French.
- Oh.
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00:05:23,710 --> 00:05:25,289
What's a crock monster?
125
00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:26,989
It's croque monsieur,
126
00:05:26,990 --> 00:05:30,859
and it's really just a grilled
cheese sandwich with ham.
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00:05:30,860 --> 00:05:32,599
I want that.
128
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,650
[CHOKES] There's lemon in this water.
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00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,959
So, uh, who do you think the Oilers
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00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,569
are gonna take in the draft?
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00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:50,970
Oh, I don't really follow sports.
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I'm just gonna eat.
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00:05:53,580 --> 00:05:54,930
[DOOR OPENS]
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00:05:57,450 --> 00:05:59,840
What's he doing here?
Y'all getting a divorce?
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00:05:59,850 --> 00:06:02,800
No. No, he's just here for dinner.
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00:06:02,810 --> 00:06:06,150
Oh. Welcome, Your Holiness.
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00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:09,489
I thought you were hanging
out with Veronica tonight.
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00:06:09,490 --> 00:06:12,019
We were supposed to, but
then she invited a bunch
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00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:13,669
of her choir friends over,
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00:06:13,670 --> 00:06:15,989
and it turned into a stupid Bible study.
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00:06:15,990 --> 00:06:18,059
- No offense.
- None taken.
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- Hmm.
- GEORGE JR.: Honestly,
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I do not understand the female mind.
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00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:22,909
[QUIETLY]: Do something.
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Georgie, why don't you go
eat dinner in front of the TV?
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00:06:25,830 --> 00:06:28,659
No, it's all right. Sounds
like Georgie's having trouble
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00:06:28,660 --> 00:06:30,389
navigating the perilous waters
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of a relationship.
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Believe me, I can understand.
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00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,840
You having problems with your hot wife?
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Maybe I'll go eat by the TV.
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00:06:45,630 --> 00:06:47,869
I'm liking my crock monster.
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Mmm. Me, too.
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00:06:49,390 --> 00:06:51,849
I can't taste anything
after the lemon water.
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I'm glad y'all are having a good time.
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00:06:54,110 --> 00:06:55,169
You're welcome.
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00:06:55,170 --> 00:06:56,639
Where we having dinner tomorrow?
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Nowhere.
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00:06:58,100 --> 00:07:01,510
Dr. Sturgis and I are going to
Louisiana, do a little gambling.
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00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,819
So a donation could be forth coming?
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00:07:03,820 --> 00:07:05,210
Don't jinx me.
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00:07:05,220 --> 00:07:08,339
It's my first time going to a casino.
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00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:11,839
It's amazing. There's bright
lights and bells and buzzers
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and people yelling.
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BOTH: Ugh.
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Veronica says I'm the
nicest guy she knows.
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She also says she only
wants to date nice guys.
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00:07:21,810 --> 00:07:24,169
- Does that mean she wants to date me?
- I bet she doesn't.
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00:07:24,170 --> 00:07:26,390
No, she does not.
Doesn't make any sense.
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00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,519
Nothing they do makes any sense.
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- GEORGE JR.: I know...
- At least he's not crying anymore.
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JEFF: Devil's got
something to do with it.
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Mary, George, I can't
thank you enough for this.
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It was our pleasure.
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00:07:45,950 --> 00:07:47,640
So, Pastor, are you gonna try
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and talk things out with Selena?
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00:07:49,690 --> 00:07:51,949
Well, we're really
not on speaking terms,
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00:07:51,950 --> 00:07:55,099
so I'll just be heading back to
my office, sleep on the couch.
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00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,929
That's ridiculous. He can
stay with us, can't he?
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00:07:57,930 --> 00:08:00,979
Uh, I guess that'd be okay.
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00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:03,309
- Of course it would.
- JEFF: Oh.
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I couldn't possibly impose.
183
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,330
GEORGE JR.: Sure you could.
184
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In fact, you can take my room.
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00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:12,209
Well, y'all are too kind.
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00:08:12,210 --> 00:08:13,510
[DOOR OPENS]
187
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:14,819
- Hello.
- Oh.
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00:08:14,820 --> 00:08:16,339
Did y'all have a good time?
189
00:08:16,340 --> 00:08:17,570
- Yes.
- It was great.
190
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:20,180
Oh, Mom, Pastor Jeff is
gonna be spending the night.
191
00:08:20,190 --> 00:08:22,099
If the kids could sleep at your place?
192
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:23,920
No. Bye.
193
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,330
[WHISPERING]: George.
194
00:08:36,340 --> 00:08:38,420
[SNORTS] What? What's wrong?
195
00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:40,779
The pastor's up making tea.
196
00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:42,950
What, you want me to blow on it?
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Go talk to him.
198
00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:46,170
About what?
199
00:08:46,180 --> 00:08:47,869
[EXHALES] I don't know.
200
00:08:47,870 --> 00:08:49,919
Maybe you could give
him a male perspective
201
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,169
on relationship issues.
202
00:08:52,170 --> 00:08:54,039
How about this?
203
00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:57,650
What if I close my eyes and pray on it?
204
00:08:58,910 --> 00:09:00,259
Hey.
205
00:09:00,260 --> 00:09:03,049
Oh, hi. I hope I didn't wake you.
206
00:09:03,050 --> 00:09:06,830
Uh, no, no. Just...
get-getting some water.
207
00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:08,619
[CLEARS THROAT]
208
00:09:08,620 --> 00:09:11,490
Can I fix you some chamomile?
209
00:09:12,540 --> 00:09:14,060
No, thanks.
210
00:09:16,450 --> 00:09:19,440
[SIGHS] So...
211
00:09:22,330 --> 00:09:24,139
Tough times, huh?
212
00:09:24,140 --> 00:09:25,430
Yeah.
213
00:09:25,510 --> 00:09:27,070
Yeah.
214
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,039
Hey, uh, does the Bible say anything
215
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,129
about heartache and such?
216
00:09:44,130 --> 00:09:47,740
Psalm 147, verse
three: "The Lord healeth
217
00:09:47,750 --> 00:09:50,399
the broken in heart, and
bindeth up their wounds."
218
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,639
Well, there you go-eth.
219
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,969
Except I'm feeling kicked
in the nethers right now,
220
00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:57,750
and he sure is taking his
sweet time with the healing.
221
00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,720
He takes his sweet time
about a lot of things.
222
00:10:02,110 --> 00:10:03,570
Uh, not that I'm complaining.
223
00:10:03,580 --> 00:10:06,530
You know, his will, not mine, et cetera.
224
00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:08,540
[CLEARS THROAT]
225
00:10:13,820 --> 00:10:15,729
You know, one thing I can say is that
226
00:10:15,730 --> 00:10:19,689
having a happy marriage
is... it's hard work.
227
00:10:19,690 --> 00:10:22,340
Oh, I know. [CHUCKLES] As
the pastor, people come to me
228
00:10:22,350 --> 00:10:24,489
with relationship problems all the time.
229
00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:27,219
[CHUCKLES] Bet you hear
some juicy ones, huh?
230
00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:29,219
"Juicy" doesn't begin to describe it.
231
00:10:29,220 --> 00:10:32,069
- Oh... give me a sample.
- I can't.
232
00:10:32,070 --> 00:10:35,639
There's strict pastor-flock
confidentiality.
233
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,319
Sure. Sure.
234
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,360
- Mm.
- [EXHALES]
235
00:10:41,410 --> 00:10:43,889
Mary doesn't tell you
things about us, does she?
236
00:10:43,890 --> 00:10:46,759
I'm... not at liberty to say.
237
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,979
But she does, doesn't she?
238
00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:51,510
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
239
00:10:57,780 --> 00:11:01,169
These people clearly don't
know what ten percent means.
240
00:11:01,170 --> 00:11:02,689
What are you talking about?
241
00:11:02,690 --> 00:11:04,779
This is the list of all
the people who belong
242
00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:06,820
to the church and how
much money they donate.
243
00:11:06,830 --> 00:11:09,519
Dorothy and Fred Nelson
gave a dollar last week.
244
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:12,179
- So?
- They own the Piggly Wiggly.
245
00:11:12,180 --> 00:11:13,829
They can afford to give much more.
246
00:11:13,830 --> 00:11:15,139
Weird.
247
00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:18,010
You say "Piggly Wiggly"
and suddenly I'm hungry.
248
00:11:20,530 --> 00:11:21,839
Really?
249
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:23,539
You're drinking in the morning now?
250
00:11:23,540 --> 00:11:26,429
What? Oh, look at that.
251
00:11:26,430 --> 00:11:28,019
Felt later.
252
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,179
Hey, I haven't seen
the pastor. He go home?
253
00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:32,719
He hasn't come out of Georgie's room.
254
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,199
Maybe he found Georgie's magazines.
255
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,639
He's a man of God.
256
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,680
You're adorable.
257
00:11:44,730 --> 00:11:47,120
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
258
00:11:47,130 --> 00:11:48,919
I have stories. Come back here.
259
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:51,299
- It's my favorite table.
- Oh, hey, Connie.
260
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:52,909
Hi, Felicia.
261
00:11:52,910 --> 00:11:54,350
Chip me for a deuce.
262
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:56,870
How's your daughter doing?
263
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,179
Oh, surgery went great.
264
00:11:58,180 --> 00:11:59,220
Thanks for asking.
265
00:11:59,230 --> 00:12:01,040
Her daughter got kicked by a horse.
266
00:12:01,050 --> 00:12:03,969
- They had to pin a couple of bones together.
- Oh, my.
267
00:12:03,970 --> 00:12:05,749
She won't be stealing any more horses
268
00:12:05,750 --> 00:12:07,059
- for a little while.
- [LAUGHS]
269
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,059
- Your usual, Connie?
- Yeah.
270
00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:11,059
John, you want something?
271
00:12:11,060 --> 00:12:13,060
I would like a Fresca, please.
272
00:12:13,070 --> 00:12:14,749
- Got it, hon.
- MAN: Connie.
273
00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:17,320
Duke-North Carolina's about
to start. Want a piece?
274
00:12:17,330 --> 00:12:20,110
Yeah, baby. Give me the
points on Duke for a nickel.
275
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,899
- All right.
- [LAUGHING]: A nickel.
276
00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:23,289
That's a silly bet.
277
00:12:23,290 --> 00:12:24,810
It's 50 bucks.
278
00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:27,429
A thousand nickels. Less silly.
279
00:12:27,430 --> 00:12:29,960
I must say, uh...
280
00:12:29,970 --> 00:12:33,299
this is a side of you
I've never... seen before.
281
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:34,909
You're all right with it, aren't you?
282
00:12:34,910 --> 00:12:36,170
Oh, sure.
283
00:12:36,180 --> 00:12:39,260
When are you gonna
give that man your $50?
284
00:12:39,270 --> 00:12:41,439
Don't worry about it. Hit me.
285
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:43,139
I'm a little worried.
286
00:12:43,140 --> 00:12:44,750
[COINS JANGLING, PEOPLE CHEER]
287
00:12:47,190 --> 00:12:49,189
Pastor Jeff?
288
00:12:49,190 --> 00:12:51,279
Everything all right in there?
289
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:52,969
Oh, yeah.
290
00:12:52,970 --> 00:12:55,200
I've just been praying, napping, crying.
291
00:12:55,210 --> 00:12:56,719
I like to mix it up.
292
00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,800
Well, how's it going?
293
00:12:58,810 --> 00:13:00,680
Good, actually.
294
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:04,060
I have this feeling inside
that I should head home.
295
00:13:04,070 --> 00:13:08,719
Well, then you got to honor
that feeling, that's God.
296
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:11,199
You're right. You want to come with?
297
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,249
Do you really want me there
298
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:15,339
while you patch things
up with your wife?
299
00:13:15,340 --> 00:13:18,299
She's less likely to throw any
steak knives if we have company.
300
00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:22,810
Um... if you think
it'll help, I suppose...
301
00:13:22,820 --> 00:13:24,080
Great, let's hit it.
302
00:13:25,950 --> 00:13:27,259
Oh...
303
00:13:27,260 --> 00:13:30,179
Hello, is this the Nelson residence?
304
00:13:30,180 --> 00:13:32,049
Oh, good. I'm Sheldon Cooper,
305
00:13:32,050 --> 00:13:33,659
the executive assistant secretary
306
00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:35,700
at the First Baptist Church of Medford.
307
00:13:35,710 --> 00:13:37,659
I'm looking through
our donation records,
308
00:13:37,660 --> 00:13:39,620
and I've noticed that
you've tapered off a bit.
309
00:13:41,490 --> 00:13:44,230
Well, yes, your children's
education is expensive,
310
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,849
but so is running a church.
311
00:13:45,850 --> 00:13:47,629
Oh, boy!
312
00:13:47,630 --> 00:13:50,010
I'll be sure to tell
the pastor. Goodbye.
313
00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:57,249
That earned a sip of Yoo-hoo.
314
00:13:57,250 --> 00:13:59,599
Okay. Who's next?
315
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,079
Wendy and Bill Mackenzie.
316
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,860
Of Mackenzie Chevrolet?
317
00:14:03,870 --> 00:14:06,600
Now those are what we
call "deep pockets."
318
00:14:06,610 --> 00:14:10,829
Pat here, double the
ten, and split the aces.
319
00:14:10,830 --> 00:14:12,089
Connie...
320
00:14:12,090 --> 00:14:15,179
I found an old-fashioned
malt shop where we can
321
00:14:15,180 --> 00:14:18,279
have milkshakes and
listen to the jukebox,
322
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:20,050
like I never did in high school.
323
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:22,020
Yeah, great. Not now, John.
324
00:14:22,030 --> 00:14:24,969
Okay, well, I was just hoping
we could do something together.
325
00:14:24,970 --> 00:14:28,449
For God's sake, John. I'm
getting my ass kicked here!
326
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,980
I'm sorry.
327
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:38,809
Oh, Felicia, you're killing me.
328
00:14:38,810 --> 00:14:40,419
[SIGHS]
329
00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:42,640
Chip me another deuce.
330
00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,300
[DOOR OPENS]
331
00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:52,690
Hello?
332
00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:54,050
Selena?
333
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,780
Ooh. Big TV, fancy.
334
00:15:01,230 --> 00:15:05,230
[READING IN SPANISH]
335
00:15:07,230 --> 00:15:10,319
"Con amor, Selena."
336
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:11,889
Which means?
337
00:15:11,890 --> 00:15:16,149
"Life is too short to
be married to a loser.
338
00:15:16,150 --> 00:15:18,289
I'm leaving you.
339
00:15:18,290 --> 00:15:20,329
Love, Selena."
340
00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:22,189
"Love, Selena"?
341
00:15:22,190 --> 00:15:24,409
Well, that's kind of a mixed message.
342
00:15:24,410 --> 00:15:25,980
Yeah.
343
00:15:30,260 --> 00:15:33,309
Oh, I couldn't tell
you how much to give.
344
00:15:33,310 --> 00:15:35,570
But I can tell you
the Stuckeys stepped up
345
00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:37,790
for a thousand dollars.
346
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:41,799
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
347
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,570
Well, you need to give
what's comfortable for you.
348
00:15:44,580 --> 00:15:46,440
And of course, I don't
need to remind you,
349
00:15:46,450 --> 00:15:48,450
it's entirely tax deductible.
350
00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:53,920
And at the next pancake breakfast,
351
00:15:53,930 --> 00:15:55,710
you can hold your head high.
352
00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,929
Thank you. That's very generous.
353
00:15:59,930 --> 00:16:01,060
Goodbye.
354
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,109
The pancake line closed it.
355
00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:07,629
We are so going to heaven.
356
00:16:07,630 --> 00:16:09,979
I don't understand why God
would tell me to go home
357
00:16:09,980 --> 00:16:11,739
just to find out my wife left me.
358
00:16:11,740 --> 00:16:14,119
Not that he needs me to defend him,
359
00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:17,209
but in God's defense, he
didn't say she'd be there.
360
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:20,939
Mary, I hate to say this,
but I think it's time
361
00:16:20,940 --> 00:16:22,129
for me to move on.
362
00:16:22,130 --> 00:16:24,340
I thought even as a
teenager, I'd been called
363
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:27,839
to preach the word of God,
but maybe that was just my ego.
364
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:29,870
Maybe I'm not meant to do this.
365
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:33,239
Don't say that. You're a great preacher.
366
00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,839
Thank you. But it's clear.
I need to trod a new path.
367
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:40,179
Well, what would you do? Trodding wise.
368
00:16:40,180 --> 00:16:41,479
I don't know.
369
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,759
Maybe work with my hands
amongst men, on an oil rig,
370
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,060
or a fishing trawler.
371
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,889
I also know how to blow glass.
372
00:16:49,890 --> 00:16:52,329
I could turn a pretty
penny at swap meets.
373
00:16:52,330 --> 00:16:56,529
- Those all sound like solid options.
- Mm-hmm.
374
00:16:56,530 --> 00:16:58,789
Oh, red light, red light!
375
00:16:58,790 --> 00:17:02,469
[HORN BLARING]
376
00:17:02,470 --> 00:17:04,130
[SIREN WAILING]
377
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,919
Oh, phooey.
378
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:14,269
Tell you what, Jody.
379
00:17:14,270 --> 00:17:17,009
Why don't you go upstairs
to your daddy's bedroom,
380
00:17:17,010 --> 00:17:19,070
and see how much is in his wallet?
381
00:17:19,890 --> 00:17:23,339
Don't worry, it's not
stealing if it's for God.
382
00:17:23,340 --> 00:17:24,549
What are y'all up to?
383
00:17:24,550 --> 00:17:26,929
Just helping Mom with some church work.
384
00:17:26,930 --> 00:17:29,759
Well, aren't you two great kids.
385
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,629
We like to think so.
386
00:17:31,630 --> 00:17:33,109
[CHUCKLES]
387
00:17:33,110 --> 00:17:35,670
Really? That much?
388
00:17:37,580 --> 00:17:39,580
[COINS JANGLING]
389
00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:49,899
I think I need to apologize.
390
00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:52,779
- I know you do.
- I'm very sorry.
391
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:54,620
Sometimes when things
aren't going my way,
392
00:17:54,630 --> 00:17:56,029
I just get a little cranky.
393
00:17:56,030 --> 00:17:59,209
- May I ask you a personal question?
- Sure.
394
00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:02,520
Does your gambling constitute a problem?
395
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,649
Not today. Bam!
396
00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:07,779
[BOTH LAUGHING]
397
00:18:07,780 --> 00:18:09,800
Come on. Let me take you out to dinner.
398
00:18:09,810 --> 00:18:11,189
- [WHOOPING]
- [CHUCKLING]
399
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:13,960
Don't forget that you promised Sheldon
400
00:18:13,970 --> 00:18:16,359
if you won, you'd donate to the church.
401
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,149
You want to see me get cranky again?
402
00:18:18,150 --> 00:18:19,159
No, I don't.
403
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,579
Well, let's go strap on
some bibs and eat lobster.
404
00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:23,059
Whoa!
405
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:25,840
So you're over at First
Baptist Church, huh?
406
00:18:25,850 --> 00:18:26,979
Yes, Officer.
407
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,459
I'm new in this area.
408
00:18:28,460 --> 00:18:29,939
I've been looking for a church.
409
00:18:29,940 --> 00:18:33,359
Well, you're in luck. It's
a wonderful congregation,
410
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:36,150
and this man right here
is our beloved pastor.
411
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:39,769
Oh. Are you his wife?
412
00:18:39,770 --> 00:18:42,949
Oh, no, I'm church secretary.
He's actually single.
413
00:18:42,950 --> 00:18:45,430
- Well, technically...
- He's single.
414
00:18:47,090 --> 00:18:49,099
Well, I'll try to come by sometime.
415
00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:51,259
Tomorrow's Sunday. He'll be speaking.
416
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:54,120
All right. Maybe I'll
see y'all tomorrow.
417
00:18:55,660 --> 00:18:58,789
You have a nice day.
418
00:18:58,790 --> 00:19:00,630
Aren't you gonna give me a ticket?
419
00:19:01,530 --> 00:19:03,319
Do you wanta ticket?
420
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,059
He does not. Thank you, Officer.
421
00:19:06,060 --> 00:19:08,670
[CHUCKLES]
422
00:19:10,020 --> 00:19:12,800
- Pastor?
- Yeah?
423
00:19:12,810 --> 00:19:14,459
You were saying you don't understand
424
00:19:14,460 --> 00:19:17,639
why God told you to go
home. You get it now?
425
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,290
Think I do.
426
00:19:25,820 --> 00:19:27,099
Welcome, church.
427
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:30,559
I pray you all had a
blessed and prosperous week.
428
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:33,539
I'm excited to share with you
429
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:36,829
what the Lord put on my heart for today.
430
00:19:36,830 --> 00:19:38,789
I'm surprised you're here this morning.
431
00:19:38,790 --> 00:19:41,789
Hey. I got to support my pal.
432
00:19:41,790 --> 00:19:44,229
The renewal of faith is
something that happens
433
00:19:44,230 --> 00:19:46,059
over and over.
434
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:49,889
- When you have faith...
- You need to move fast, Officer.
435
00:19:49,890 --> 00:19:51,979
He's not gonna be on
the market for long.
436
00:19:51,980 --> 00:19:54,579
- Roger that.
- JEFF: For so many months,
437
00:19:54,580 --> 00:19:56,970
our little parish has been
struggling financially.
438
00:19:56,980 --> 00:19:59,409
But by the grace of
God and his provision,
439
00:19:59,410 --> 00:20:04,000
we have received the most
donations in church history!
440
00:20:04,050 --> 00:20:05,439
Praise Jesus!
441
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:08,579
- ALL: Praise Jesus!
- [APPLAUSE]
442
00:20:08,580 --> 00:20:11,670
So it's all Jesus, we
don't get any credit?
443
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:14,500
- We need to start our own church.
- They don't pay taxes.
444
00:20:14,510 --> 00:20:17,249
It's a very sound business model.
445
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,380
JEFF: Say amen when you get there, huh?
446
00:20:19,390 --> 00:20:25,480
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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