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1
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(crowd cheering)
2
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♪ VANT: Do You Know Me?
3
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♪ If someone picks up then I'm still alone
4
00:00:31,991 --> 00:00:34,869
♪ They're just
another voice on a telephone
5
00:00:35,161 --> 00:00:37,663
♪ I'm down, I'm broke, I'm tired
6
00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:40,374
♪ I want something more
7
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,419
♪ So let me hear you say, oh
8
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♪ You should know me
9
00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:48,424
♪ You should know me by now
10
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,176
♪ Do you know me?
11
00:00:50,426 --> 00:00:51,594
♪ Do you know me?
12
00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,220
♪ Do you know me?
13
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:56,557
♪ Do you know me at all?
14
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:05,107
♪ KHIA: My Neck, My Back (Lick It)
♪ Lick it now, lick it good
15
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:07,276
♪ Lick this pussy just like you should
16
00:01:07,443 --> 00:01:09,820
♪ Come on, right now, lick it good
17
00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:12,073
♪ Lick this pussy just like you should
18
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(sings along):
♪ My neck, my back
19
00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:16,243
♪ My pussy and my crack
20
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:19,080
- What the hell is this music, Nick?
- Well, it's sexy.
21
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No?
22
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Don't worry. I can change it.
23
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♪ Do it now, lick...
24
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♪ MC HAMMER: U Can't Touch This
♪ You can't touch this
25
00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:29,048
♪ My-my-my-my music
You can't touch this
26
00:01:29,215 --> 00:01:31,425
MAN: Harry darted behind
the crumbling pillar...
27
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,637
- I shouldn't have put it on shuffle.
- ..where our wizards streaked past.
28
00:01:34,804 --> 00:01:35,888
Why is that on shuffle?
29
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Sorry, Nick. Can we focus?
30
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Oh, yeah.
31
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Sorry.
32
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Remember, don't come inside me.
33
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- What? Why not?
- I had to take a break from the pill.
34
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The hormones were making my nipples hairy.
35
00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:52,321
Oh, shit, yeah, of course.
36
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:57,118
- So where should I come, then?
- I don't know. Wherever you want.
37
00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,662
- OK, like, your face?
- Obviously not.
38
00:01:59,829 --> 00:02:02,081
- No, sorry. We spoke about that.
- Just come anywhere.
39
00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:04,458
Er.... Yep, what,
so just literally anywhere?
40
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:08,003
- Not on me!
- (groans)
41
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:12,341
(exhales)
42
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:15,845
♪ You can't touch this
43
00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:19,181
♪ My-my-my-my
You can't touch this
44
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:20,641
Knock, knock. Who is it?
45
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,184
- It's Shane.
- (laughs)
46
00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:23,435
Ah...
47
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- (hums)
- Oh.
48
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Hey!
49
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Today uni is officially over.
50
00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,233
Came, saw, conquered.
51
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,693
Well, you got a third.
52
00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:32,653
- (inhales) You ready?
- No, I'm scared.
53
00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:35,906
Fear is just your body telling you
not to do something dangerous.
54
00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,324
Yeah, I know what fear is.
55
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,951
Come on, let's go.
See you down there.
56
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:40,244
- Bye.
- Bye.
57
00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:41,829
Dude, you've got jizz on your gown.
58
00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:43,956
♪ KELLY ROWLAND: Work
♪ Work-work-work-work
59
00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:46,750
That's hot. (laughs)
60
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,836
- I can't do it. I can't do it.
- No, keep going.
61
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:50,254
But my lips are gonna fall off.
62
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♪ Put it in
♪ Work-work-work-work-work
63
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- Breathe through it.
- Fuck off!
64
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,885
Breathe through it. (laughs)
65
00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:59,263
- (groans)
- Finish up. We'll go meet the others.
66
00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:02,725
- You mean Caitlin and her friends?
- They're our friends too.
67
00:03:02,892 --> 00:03:04,101
- They are.
- Hm-mm.
68
00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:05,769
Rex got us tickets to that festival.
69
00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:08,063
- Why would he if we weren't friends?
- Not sure.
70
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They're nice to you
cos you go out with Caitlin.
71
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:13,944
I...I guess for me a real friend is
someone who'd help you dispose of a body.
72
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:17,406
- I would not help you dispose of a body.
- I'm not encouraging you to kill anyone.
73
00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:20,409
I'm just saying when it happens,
I'll help you dismember the corpse.
74
00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:22,661
- Thank you. That will be nice.
- You're welcome.
75
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:25,831
It'll be a nice day, two mates together,
chopping up a murder victim.
76
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,750
Ooh...I can feel it in my balls.
77
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- Come on. We've gotta get through this.
- OK.
78
00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:31,503
♪ KELLY ROWLAND: Work
79
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- (gags)
- (laughs)
80
00:03:32,922 --> 00:03:34,840
♪ You got it?
- Can we get some milk, please?
81
00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,300
(laughs)
82
00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,014
♪ Tables turnin' to a situation
83
00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:44,558
♪ Now you standin' in my face
and you been patiently waitin'
84
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,727
♪ I'm rollin' over words,
forget the conversation
85
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,480
♪ Thinkin' maybe we can make a combination
86
00:03:49,647 --> 00:03:51,815
♪ Wanna see me lose my breath
and wanna hear me moan
87
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,068
♪ Better be ready, we'll enable
when we get alone
88
00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:56,403
♪ You was talkin' confident
up on the telephone
89
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,113
♪ So you gotta put it in
when we get it on
90
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,366
- Here they are, Bert and Ernie.
- Hi, guys.
91
00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:02,076
Blimey, chaps. You're a bit sweaty.
92
00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:04,036
Been playing soggy biscuit or something?
93
00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:06,664
We ate some very hot chicken
and now it's a bit hard to see.
94
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:09,250
Listen, Rex, thanks for sorting us
the festival tickets.
95
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:12,211
It's no problem. I like to help those
less fortunate than myself.
96
00:04:12,378 --> 00:04:13,545
I mean, we did pay for them.
97
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:16,131
Oh, hi.
I don't think we've met. I'm Lucy.
98
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,968
Yeah, I know. We met before.
Loads of times.
99
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I'm friends with Nick and Caitlin.
My name's Shane.
100
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:23,764
Are you sure?
101
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:27,059
Am I sure I'm friends with Nick and
Caitlin or am I sure my name's Shane?
102
00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:29,144
Both.
103
00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:30,938
You all right, Gordy?
104
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:34,149
Oh, Gordy's taken some pretty strong drugs
and he's gone mute.
105
00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:37,403
Still a bloody legend, though.
Who wants to have a drink?
106
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:40,239
Oh, we should go and find our parents
but we'll see you after?
107
00:04:40,406 --> 00:04:42,658
Not if I can help it.
108
00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:48,289
I don't recognise half these people.
109
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:49,957
Look at that dude in the dreadlocks.
110
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- Why did we never make friends with him?
- Say "fromage".
111
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:53,711
Oh, look. There's Robin.
112
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(sighs) Oh, fuck's sake.
113
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Wow, wow.
114
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:58,924
You look great, Shane.
115
00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:01,176
Hi, Nick.
116
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:05,639
So, are you boys ready to create
some memories today?
117
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- Where's Mum?
- Saving us a spot down the front.
118
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,685
Wanna get some good snaps.
119
00:05:09,852 --> 00:05:12,980
- You really didn't have to come.
- Hey, don't mention it.
120
00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:15,941
I wouldn't have missed this for the world,
Shane.
121
00:05:16,108 --> 00:05:19,111
Every morning I wake up
next to your mum...
122
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- (mutters): Oh, my...
- ..bursting...
123
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:22,531
..bursting with pride for you.
124
00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:24,783
Oh. Sorry.
125
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:27,536
(tearful):
I promised myself I wasn't gonna cry.
126
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,913
Oh, nice try, Robin, you big dingbat.
127
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,916
(he sighs)
128
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:36,170
I just can't believe the amazing man
that you've grown into.
129
00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:40,716
Oh, mate, you've been going out
with my mum for about a year.
130
00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:43,177
(tearful): I know.
It's been the best year of my life.
131
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:46,055
Robin, so sorry.
I've gotta go and meet my mum and Caitlin.
132
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:47,389
- See you later.
- See you.
133
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,641
That's right, Shane, just let it out.
134
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,935
- Darling, I'm sorry I'm late.
- Hi, Mum.
135
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,771
Caitlin, you look beautiful.
136
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,481
- Thanks, Vivian.
- (laughs)
137
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:57,983
Right, one quick snap of the happy couple.
138
00:05:58,567 --> 00:05:59,568
OK.
139
00:05:59,735 --> 00:06:01,362
Nicky, you've got toothpaste on your gown.
140
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:02,946
- No.
- Let...
141
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,448
- Don't.
- Nicky.
142
00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:06,533
- Seriously.
- Nicky!
143
00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:19,588
Hm.
144
00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,673
Right.
145
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,343
(clears throat) Won't be able to remember
the blooming PIN now.
146
00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:26,762
But it will be good to have
some photos of graduation,
147
00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:28,430
put them up when we move in together.
148
00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:30,766
Right, yeah, when we move in together.
149
00:06:30,933 --> 00:06:33,977
Hey, can't wait to eat breakfast together
in our matching bathrobes.
150
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:38,315
(both laugh)
151
00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:40,401
Yeah.
152
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,736
Wait. Why are we laughing?
153
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,822
Oh, my God. You're not joking.
154
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,949
Well, it just makes sense, right?
155
00:06:47,116 --> 00:06:49,201
Get a nice one bed, maybe get a cat?
156
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:51,829
- What?
- Nothing.
157
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,163
No, come on, what is it?
158
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,623
It's just...
159
00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:56,792
I guess I kind of assumed that we'd...
160
00:06:57,626 --> 00:07:00,045
you know, break up.
161
00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:03,090
- Why would we do that?
- It's just what uni couples do, isn't it?
162
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:06,093
You get out of the bubble
and you realise it was never gonna work.
163
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:09,263
My sister and her ex went out
for the whole of uni and then broke up.
164
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:12,266
Cos she woke up one night and he was
wanking over Korean cartoon porn.
165
00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:14,309
Nick, stop being a dick.
166
00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:15,769
I'm being... a dick?
167
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,021
You're the one breaking up with me
at graduation.
168
00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:19,648
I'm not breaking up with you.
169
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:22,901
I'm saying I think I might break up
with you in a few months.
170
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,778
It's like saying
"I'm not murdering you.
171
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,865
I'm gonna gradually expose you to
dangerous amounts of polonium."
172
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,408
I'm a relationship Litvinenko.
173
00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:30,951
- I'm a dead man walking.
- Nick...
174
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,662
Dead man!
We got a dead man walking.
175
00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:35,664
I can't deal with you
when you're like this.
176
00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:37,916
- Like what?
- Just uptight and self-centred.
177
00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:40,586
And making everything all about Nick,
like you always do.
178
00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:41,879
I'm done.
179
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,131
Right... (clears throat) I'm ready.
180
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:46,800
Oh, no, that's just a close-up of my face.
181
00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:54,057
Leo Pandara.
182
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,061
Nishant Patel.
183
00:07:58,437 --> 00:07:59,438
Shane.
184
00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:01,482
- Ben Proctor.
- Robin, go back to your seat.
185
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,734
Shane Simpson.
186
00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:05,986
Gordon Symonds.
187
00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:10,324
Nick Taylor.
188
00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:14,578
Sandeep Tulwar.
189
00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:18,582
- Angela Queiroz.
- Sorry, Sandeep.
190
00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:20,918
Um, sorry, everyone.
There's something I wanna say.
191
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,252
Erm...
192
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:24,505
Caitlin...
193
00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:27,007
I'm sorry.
194
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:31,345
I don't know what happened earlier,
but... I'm sorry.
195
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:35,015
I didn't mean for us to fight
and I don't want us to break up.
196
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,518
I love you
and I know you love me too,
197
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:41,230
so can we just forget what happened,
198
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:43,774
whatever it was, please?
199
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,445
- No, Nick.
OTHERS: Aw...
200
00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:49,613
No?
201
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,865
No, I don't want to get back together.
202
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,618
Especially not like this.
203
00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:58,622
But we're meant to be together...
and grow old together.
204
00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:03,377
We lost our virginities to each other.
Doesn't that mean anything to you?
205
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,797
I guess not.
I guess I'm just a fucking idiot.
206
00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:08,590
Actually, no, I'm not an idiot.
207
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:11,843
You're just a heartless monster.
208
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,513
You're mean. You are mean.
209
00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:15,931
And you're spindly.
210
00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:18,350
And... And guess what?
211
00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,936
I don't wanna get back together with you.
Good riddance.
212
00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:24,106
That's not true. I didn't mean that,
Caitlin. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
213
00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:25,274
Please take me back?
214
00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:26,858
Caitlin, please? Caitlin?
215
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,610
Hm? Please? Caitlin?
216
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,654
Caitlin? Please? Caitlin? Caitlin?
217
00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:32,531
Caitlin, I didn't mean that. Caitlin...
218
00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:34,783
I'm gonna be sick.
219
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:36,535
(groans)
220
00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:38,787
(shocked gasps)
221
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,999
(gags)
222
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,209
(sighs)
223
00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:46,420
Caitlin, come on.
224
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:48,672
Yeah? Please.
225
00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:51,925
Please. Please.
226
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,177
- Sabina Underby.
- (groans)
227
00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:56,513
(gags)
228
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,181
Miguel Uppingham.
229
00:09:58,348 --> 00:09:59,808
(whispers): Come on. Let's go.
230
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:02,019
- Shane, no. I'm OK.
- Michael Upton.
231
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,021
- Shane, I'm OK.
- Psst. Shane.
232
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:06,607
Robin, why would you wanna
take a photo of this?
233
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,859
Joanna Wilson.
234
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:11,320
♪ THE DANDY WARHOLS:
Styggo
235
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,168
(laughs)
236
00:10:26,335 --> 00:10:28,462
You were almost sick.
237
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:32,633
♪ Crimson and clover are taking on over
- (cries)
238
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,551
♪ Minute by minute
239
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:37,220
♪ I can save but I won't stop
240
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:40,974
♪ Tripping about everything
that I shoulder
241
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:46,396
♪ Heigh ho, some things you gotta get over
242
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:48,106
Knock, knock. Who is it? It's Shane.
243
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,941
Ha.
244
00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:51,818
Up, up.
245
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,446
- Time to go mad in a field.
- Shane, I'm not coming.
246
00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:57,824
Right. What you gonna do instead?
Stay here and eat more chicken?
247
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,826
Shane, you don't understand.
248
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,828
When you break up
with a long-term partner,
249
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,122
you can't just carry on
like everything's normal.
250
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:07,834
Right, here are three very good reasons
why you're coming.
251
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:11,004
One: we've already paid for our tickets
and they were expensive.
252
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:14,675
Two: I'm not going to the festival
on my own like some friendless weirdo.
253
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:18,136
And three: what's this?
254
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:20,764
What is it?
255
00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:23,225
It's an orange juice bottle
filled with my urine.
256
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:26,019
Yes, it is.
You're turning into a psychopath.
257
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:29,064
You've got to get out of here
before you start pooing in your socks.
258
00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,899
But what if I bump into Caitlin?
259
00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:33,402
It'll be so embarrassing.
I haven't seen her since...
260
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,237
- Your mental breakdown.
- Graduation.
261
00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:37,823
Dude, there are
a hundred thousand people there.
262
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:40,909
The chances of bumping into her
are a million to one.
263
00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:44,663
- (sighs) Fine.
- (laughs) This is gonna be great.
264
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:47,332
Robin's outside.
He's gonna drive us to the station.
265
00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:48,875
You owe me for this.
266
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,253
The reason you want to go
is to see that twat in a mask.
267
00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:54,798
Erm,
DJ Hammerhead is not a twat in a mask.
268
00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,842
I mean, he wears a mask,
but he's not a twat.
269
00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,885
He deejays all over the world.
270
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,221
He's worth 55 million pounds.
271
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,556
People love him.
272
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,850
He's slept with Bella and Gigi Hadid.
273
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,310
Plus a secret third sister
who's even fitter.
274
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:11,231
He's my hero. He inspired my latest track.
I can play it for you while you pack.
275
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,066
Please don't. I really hate your music.
276
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,193
(pounding repetitive dance beat)
277
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,404
Can you believe it took me
five minutes to write?
278
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:18,947
Yes.
279
00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:21,116
I love you, but can you turn this off?
280
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:23,368
Wait for the drop.
281
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,704
Just three more minutes.
282
00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:28,039
Oh, my God.
283
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:33,879
♪ Well, it's the same room
but everything's different
284
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:38,425
♪ You can find the sleep
but not the dream
285
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:45,932
♪ Things ain't cooking in my kitchen
286
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,726
♪ Strange affliction
- Robin.
287
00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:51,354
♪ Wash over me
- Robin.
288
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:53,482
(higher): ♪ Julius Caesar, ah...
289
00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:55,442
- Robin.
- Oh.
290
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:57,819
Robin.
291
00:12:58,403 --> 00:12:59,905
Sorry about that, boys.
292
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,991
(sighs) There's nothing like
a dose of Crowded House
293
00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:04,743
to really nourish the soul, huh?
294
00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,203
That's my kind of house music.
295
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:08,955
- Can you open the boot for us, please?
- Oh, sure thing, son.
296
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,208
(sighs) Don't call me that.
297
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:14,336
There you go.
298
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:16,671
God, I wish I was going with you guys.
299
00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:19,341
I used to be a real festival head
in my roaring twenties.
300
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:20,550
One word of advice, though.
301
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:22,511
- Shane, I know you're circumcised.
- Robin.
302
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:24,805
I remember from the pool.
But, Nick, how about you?
303
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,349
Have you still got the old,
erm, boatman's hood?
304
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:30,936
You know, the boatman's hood?
What we call the boatman's hood.
305
00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:33,355
The boatman's hood.
It's what we call the foreskin.
306
00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:36,316
- Pretty sure no-one calls it that.
- The golden rule of festivals
307
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:40,737
is to wash that bugger
at least three times a day, OK?
308
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:42,113
You can remind him, Shane.
309
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,115
Once at a festival in Denmark,
310
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:46,493
a friend of mine
let the smegma build up.
311
00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,870
Even though we warned him.
We could smell it in the tent.
312
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,330
He got septicaemia,
313
00:13:50,539 --> 00:13:54,209
and to stop it from spreading, they
had to remove his whole penis.
314
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:58,964
Imagine that, just this bloody stump
where your... willy used to be.
315
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,215
(sighs) Hm.
316
00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:01,883
Yeah.
317
00:14:02,217 --> 00:14:03,927
Anyway, let's hit the road.
318
00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:06,471
Foreskin, wash it.
319
00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:09,975
♪ Whenever I fall
320
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:14,980
♪ At your feet
321
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:19,442
♪ You let your tears
322
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:24,447
♪ Rain down on me
323
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,410
♪ Whenever I touch
324
00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:33,039
♪ Your slowly turning pain
325
00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:38,128
(laughter)
326
00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:39,296
Excuse us.
327
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:40,589
Right, this is me.
328
00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:42,257
And you're down there.
329
00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:44,634
- We're not together?
- No, sorry. It was last minute.
330
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,887
- This was all they had.
- Oh.
331
00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:50,015
- Wait a minute. Is this a child's ticket?
- Yes.
332
00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:52,934
- Why did you get us children's tickets?
- Oh, it's way cheaper.
333
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:55,186
Yeah, cos they're for fucking children.
334
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:57,230
What if we get stopped
by a ticket inspector?
335
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,608
(snorts) Ticket inspector?
Ticket inspector?
336
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:01,693
You've been watching
way too much Miss Marple.
337
00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,612
It's all robots now.
338
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:06,531
Hi.
339
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,954
Hey, pal. Headed to the festival?
340
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:14,289
- Yep.
- Me too.
341
00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:16,041
- I'm Amy.
- I'm Nick.
342
00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:17,834
Awesome name.
You travelling on your own?
343
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,503
- No, my friend's sitting up there.
- Nice.
344
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:23,173
I'm flying solo.
Just a great way to meet people, you know?
345
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:25,425
You're never alone at a festival.
346
00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,385
You been before?
347
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,012
No, er, first time.
348
00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:31,765
Oh. A newbie. I love it.
349
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:34,142
- It's my ninth year in a row.
- Congrats.
350
00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:36,227
Nine years ago, did it.
Eight years ago, did it.
351
00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:39,314
Seven years ago, nearly didn't make it
because I lost my ticket,
352
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:42,525
but luckily I met a Welsh Rastafarian
who showed me a way to break in
353
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:44,194
and also how to make jerk rarebit.
354
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,071
Six years ago, best year yet.
355
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,239
There was this amazing halloumi tent.
356
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:51,159
It wasn't a tent made of halloumi,
but it was just the tent...
357
00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:53,286
I might just listen to some music.
358
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,538
Cool, cool.
359
00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:03,171
What are you listening to?
360
00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:05,173
All right, tickets, please.
361
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:06,967
Thank you. Thank you very much.
362
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,593
- Shit.
- Thank you, sir. Thank you.
363
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:12,764
Anyway, according to my mum, my first
words as a baby were "Serena Williams",
364
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:15,850
which is weird because she wouldn't
have been famous at that point.
365
00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:17,185
- Hey, dude.
- Oh, thank God.
366
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:18,728
OK, slight issue.
367
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:21,690
Turns out there is in fact
a ticket inspector on the train.
368
00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:24,693
- What? I told you.
- No, it's fine. I've thought about it.
369
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:27,570
When he comes to check our tickets,
we just pretend to be kids.
370
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,197
- Pretend to be kids?
- Yeah. You know,
371
00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:31,324
talk about Minecraft
and not having pubes yet.
372
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,952
Are you guys travelling on kids' tickets?
373
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:35,120
Yeah.
374
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:38,331
- Me too. It's so much cheaper.
- That's what I said.
375
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:39,791
- Hi. I'm Amy.
- I'm Shane.
376
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:42,669
Nice to meet you, Shane.
I assume you're a fellow festival freak?
377
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:44,671
- You know it.
- Guys.
378
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,172
What are we gonna do?
379
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,591
Relax, Nick. I do this all the time.
380
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:50,844
I have a plan.
381
00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:55,849
- So what's the plan?
- This. This is the plan.
382
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:57,100
Standing in a toilet?
383
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:58,893
- Yeah.
- That's not a plan.
384
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:03,148
We're in the exact same situation,
except now there's a strong whiff of piss.
385
00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:04,691
- What do we do if he finds us?
- Easy.
386
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:07,819
Just pretend we're doing something
really private, like having sex.
387
00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:10,321
- There's three of us.
- Pretend we're having a threesome.
388
00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:11,614
Well, how is that any better?
389
00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:13,867
We'll just be fare dodgers
who are having an orgy.
390
00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:16,619
- No, I like this plan.
- Oh, this is stupid. I'm getting out.
391
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,121
- Tickets, please.
- Oh, shit.
392
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:21,207
- Open up, please.
- (moans): Ooh, yeah!
393
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,792
Oh, my God!
394
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:24,377
What the fuck are you doing?
Stop it.
395
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,713
I'm having sex.
396
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,423
- Ooh.
- (grunting)
397
00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:30,550
(whispers):
Why are you doing it as well?
398
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,761
- Open the door.
- Oh, my God, that feels...
399
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:35,138
- Shut up.
- ..so good in my vagina.
400
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:37,432
- Oh, thank you!
- (grunting)
401
00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:38,725
I don't know what to say.
402
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:41,394
- Just think of what you've seen on TV.
- Now I'm panicking.
403
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,229
I wanna put it in your proving drawer.
404
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,690
Ooh, turn up the heat. Don't let it sink.
405
00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:47,108
- Open the door.
- (knocking)
406
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:49,319
You are so much better at this
than my husband.
407
00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:50,737
I think I'm gonna pass out.
408
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,947
- Christ, it's too tight in here!
- That's good.
409
00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:55,742
- Let it rise.
- Oh. Oh, yeah....
410
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,327
Oh, that's happening.
411
00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:59,370
That's sex for you...
412
00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:04,417
(knocking and cheering)
413
00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:12,008
Oh, well. Looks like we'll have to use
the old foot-mobiles.
414
00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:15,970
Ooh. I can tell you guys about the time
I got trapped inside a grandfather clock.
415
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:19,390
At first it wasn't too bad because
it was the middle of the night...
416
00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:24,604
I really liked him and his brothers, but
then I found out he wasn't a sushi chef,
417
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,899
he just always wore white
and had a load of knives on him.
418
00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:30,819
So my dad was, like,
"There's no money in ventriloquism."
419
00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:32,654
And I was, like, "I'll show you!"
420
00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:34,781
But it turned out he was totally right.
421
00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:38,785
I'm thinking of becoming an architect,
but an untrained architect.
422
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:40,954
Then I started a dating website for dogs,
423
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:44,040
but that didn't really work out because
dogs don't wanna go on dates
424
00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:45,708
because they don't know what they are.
425
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:46,918
My sister said to me,
426
00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:50,463
"Amy, I need you to sell every single
piece of furniture in my house today."
427
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:53,174
And I was, like, "Everything?
Even Gary's desk?
428
00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:55,218
Even Gary's dresser?"
429
00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:58,721
But that was before
I trained to be an auctioneer.
430
00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:00,849
She's been talking for three hours.
431
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,434
(laughs) I know. She's so interesting.
432
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,521
Here we are.
433
00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:08,773
Isn't she gorgeous?
434
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:10,233
Whoa.
435
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,485
Come on!
436
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,822
(Shane and Amy laugh)
437
00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:17,907
Come on.
438
00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:19,617
Yeah!
439
00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,870
(yells): Yeah!
440
00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:23,746
(Amy shrieks)
441
00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:26,291
It's a bit further
than I remember.
442
00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:27,458
(squeals)
443
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:28,710
(Shane yells): Yeah!
444
00:19:28,877 --> 00:19:30,962
♪ CRYSTAL FIGHTERS:
Yellow Sun
445
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:36,926
♪ Dancing on the yellow yellow
yellow yellow yellow yellow sun
446
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:39,596
♪ Dancing on the yellow yellow
yellow yellow sun
447
00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:43,558
♪ Like I'm dancing on the yellow yellow
yellow yellow yellow yellow sun
448
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:46,644
♪ Dancing on the yellow yellow,
dancing on the yellow sun
449
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:12,086
Breathe it in, boys.
450
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,505
It literally stinks of shit.
451
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,925
- Everything smells of shit.
- Exactly.
452
00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:20,053
- Amy, where can you, like, see the acts?
- On the stages.
453
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:23,431
- I mean when they're not performing.
- Oh, er, backstage, I guess. Why?
454
00:20:23,598 --> 00:20:25,516
- I wanna try and meet Hammerhead.
- He's great.
455
00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:28,853
I wanna get a selfie playing my tunes,
maybe convince him to legally adopt me.
456
00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:32,315
Well, the best way to get backstage
is to either be a famous person
457
00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:35,526
or to be willing to let a famous person
put their genitals in your mouth.
458
00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,111
Sounds fair. What do you reckon?
459
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,948
I'm not sucking off James Corden
just to get backstage.
460
00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:41,366
OK, let's play a game.
461
00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:43,618
Which celeb would you suck off
to get backstage?
462
00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:44,994
(laughs) Fun.
463
00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:46,496
Michael Fassbender?
464
00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:47,747
- No.
- Definitely. Next.
465
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,958
- Forest Whitaker?
- I said no to Michael Fassbender.
466
00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:51,668
Why would I say yes to Forest Whitaker?
467
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:52,961
- Harry Potter!
- What?
468
00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:55,463
- Harry Potter!
- I don't look anything like him.
469
00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:57,298
(laughs) Harry Potter!
470
00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,342
- (laughs)
- Jesus Christ.
471
00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:02,053
- Is it gonna be three days of this?
- (chuckles) Classic.
472
00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:03,554
OK, let's go pitch our tents.
473
00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:04,889
My usual spot's up that way.
474
00:21:05,056 --> 00:21:08,142
It's right by the main path
and the biggest toilets.
475
00:21:08,309 --> 00:21:09,310
Awesome.
476
00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:11,896
I think Shane and I already
have a spot in mind is the thing.
477
00:21:12,063 --> 00:21:13,189
- Do we?
- Yeah. Remember?
478
00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:15,441
I read about it on that camping blog.
479
00:21:17,568 --> 00:21:20,446
No worries.
Great getting to know you guys.
480
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:23,032
Good luck meeting Hammerhead.
Hope he likes your tunes.
481
00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:24,617
Bye.
482
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,744
- Where's the spot?
- I made it up to get rid of her.
483
00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:29,038
Why don't you wanna camp with her?
She's cool.
484
00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:32,208
- She's clearly mental.
- She's not mental. She's just Australian.
485
00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:33,751
(Amy screams)
486
00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:35,878
(squeals)
487
00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:38,256
I will find us the perfect spot.
488
00:21:38,423 --> 00:21:39,465
It's gonna be perfect.
489
00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:42,510
♪ Blaze up me fire,
blaze it till the morning
490
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,888
♪ Blaze up me fire,
blaze it till the morning
491
00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:49,183
♪ Blaze up me fire,
blaze it till the morning
492
00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:51,436
♪ Blaze up me fire
493
00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:54,355
♪ Some of dem evil from dem christen...
494
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:56,316
This is insane.
There's nowhere left to camp.
495
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,985
When you buy a ticket,
you should be given an allotted space
496
00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:01,988
- with specific GPS coordinates.
- That sounds fun.
497
00:22:02,155 --> 00:22:03,239
Could have gone with Amy.
498
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,491
Oi, fellas!
499
00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,785
Oh, fuck. It's Rex.
500
00:22:08,161 --> 00:22:10,246
- What do we do?
- Er... Just wave.
501
00:22:14,208 --> 00:22:16,794
- Maybe we should go over and say hi.
- No, he'll be with Caitlin.
502
00:22:16,961 --> 00:22:18,546
Yeah, but we have to do something.
503
00:22:18,713 --> 00:22:22,300
I don't think we can spend
the whole festival just waving at him.
504
00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:36,522
Yeah, I know, yeah.
505
00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:37,982
(giggles)
506
00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:43,446
(sighs) Ah... Come on.
507
00:22:47,742 --> 00:22:49,786
Boys. Long time no see. How's shiz?
508
00:22:49,952 --> 00:22:51,245
- Not bad.
- Buzzing to be here.
509
00:22:51,412 --> 00:22:52,413
Nice, nice.
510
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:53,623
Nick, I've gotta say,
511
00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:57,043
it's great to see you up and about
after that little spaz-out at graduation.
512
00:22:57,210 --> 00:22:58,669
- Er... Thanks.
- Seriously.
513
00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:01,005
If that was me, I'd call it quits
and disappear.
514
00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:04,384
I'd, like, grow a tash, move to Belgium,
open up a fucking waffle house.
515
00:23:04,967 --> 00:23:07,970
But you're not afraid to show your face
in public. Total respect.
516
00:23:08,137 --> 00:23:10,556
- Where are you camping?
- We haven't found anywhere yet.
517
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:13,226
The only space was next to
a guy who dug a toilet with his hands.
518
00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:16,396
- Why don't you camp here?
- Oh, er... I don't know.
519
00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:18,147
Don't be silly. There's loads of room.
520
00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:20,024
This is primo real estate.
521
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:25,905
- OK, thanks.
- Hey, no problemo, hombre.
522
00:23:26,072 --> 00:23:27,782
Drop your bags here.
523
00:23:27,949 --> 00:23:30,034
The others are all chilling inside.
524
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:32,745
Shoes off.
525
00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:34,414
Oh. Yep.
526
00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:36,666
Sorry.
527
00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:38,626
Come on in.
528
00:23:38,793 --> 00:23:40,628
Rex, this tent is amazing.
529
00:23:40,795 --> 00:23:42,338
Holy shit. Is that a wine fridge?
530
00:23:42,505 --> 00:23:43,714
- All right, lads?
- Hey, Gordy.
531
00:23:43,881 --> 00:23:45,716
- Hi, Lucy.
- Oh, hi.
532
00:23:45,883 --> 00:23:48,052
I'm Lucy. Nice to meet you.
533
00:23:48,219 --> 00:23:49,429
What the fuck? I know.
534
00:23:49,595 --> 00:23:50,972
We've met so many times.
535
00:23:51,139 --> 00:23:52,765
No, I don't think so.
536
00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:56,102
- I'm really good with faces.
- My face hasn't changed.
537
00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:58,354
Right, here's the drug sitch.
538
00:23:59,564 --> 00:24:00,982
You hid drugs in a teddy bear?
539
00:24:01,149 --> 00:24:02,483
Mate, I'm fully kitted out.
540
00:24:02,650 --> 00:24:04,652
I'm like the James Bond
of getting off your nut.
541
00:24:04,819 --> 00:24:07,405
We're talking ketamine in the bog roll,
542
00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:09,699
downers in the Right Guard,
543
00:24:09,866 --> 00:24:11,951
uppers in the maracas.
544
00:24:12,702 --> 00:24:13,911
Coke in Mr Teddy.
545
00:24:14,287 --> 00:24:16,164
Don't start without me.
546
00:24:16,914 --> 00:24:19,000
Oh, my God. Nick, hi.
547
00:24:20,209 --> 00:24:21,377
Hello, Caitlin. How are you?
548
00:24:21,544 --> 00:24:24,547
- Good, thanks. How are you?
- Good, thanks. How are you?
549
00:24:24,714 --> 00:24:27,425
- Good, thanks.
- Good, thanks.
550
00:24:27,592 --> 00:24:29,677
How are you?
551
00:24:30,303 --> 00:24:32,138
Wow, this is not fun.
552
00:24:32,305 --> 00:24:34,390
Nothing a few lines won't fix.
553
00:24:35,349 --> 00:24:38,144
(snorts, grunts)
554
00:24:51,866 --> 00:24:53,868
(he groans)
555
00:24:59,165 --> 00:25:02,502
Whoa. I kind of assumed it would be,
like, one line each.
556
00:25:02,668 --> 00:25:05,046
One line of coke each?
What is this, Midnight Mass?
557
00:25:05,213 --> 00:25:09,717
Don't worry, there's plenty more
where that came from. (sniffs)
558
00:25:09,884 --> 00:25:11,969
Hang on.
559
00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:15,181
I don't think that was coke.
560
00:25:15,348 --> 00:25:16,766
I got my stashes mixed up.
561
00:25:16,933 --> 00:25:18,643
That was all ketamine.
562
00:25:18,809 --> 00:25:21,687
That's, like, the third time this year.
I've gotta get a fucking pen.
563
00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:23,648
Right, gang,
that's the weekend over for me.
564
00:25:23,814 --> 00:25:26,776
I'm gonna head to my tent, put on some
Norah Jones and ride this one out.
565
00:25:26,943 --> 00:25:29,028
Enjoy the festival.
566
00:25:30,821 --> 00:25:32,573
Well, I don't know about you,
567
00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:35,660
but I didn't bleach my bumhole
to sit around watching Gordy OD.
568
00:25:35,826 --> 00:25:38,329
- Let's get out there. (laughs)
- That's a good idea.
569
00:25:38,496 --> 00:25:40,456
Caitlin,
do you think we can have a quick chat?
570
00:25:40,623 --> 00:25:43,376
- Sure. What's up?
- I, erm... I like the new hair.
571
00:25:43,543 --> 00:25:45,711
Thanks. Yeah, thought I'd mix it up a bit.
572
00:25:45,878 --> 00:25:47,797
- Not sure it totally worked.
- No, it's good.
573
00:25:47,964 --> 00:25:49,799
Erm... What colour is that?
574
00:25:49,966 --> 00:25:51,842
- Blonde.
- Yeah, no, I just...
575
00:25:52,009 --> 00:25:56,514
Sometimes they have funny names.
Like, erm, Concrete Grey or Yellow...
576
00:25:56,681 --> 00:25:58,766
Yellow.
577
00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:01,644
I just wanted to say I hope
it is OK if we camp with you guys.
578
00:26:01,811 --> 00:26:03,896
- No, yeah, definitely.
- Cool.
579
00:26:04,063 --> 00:26:06,649
It's so great that even after the break-up
we can still be friends.
580
00:26:06,816 --> 00:26:09,735
So great. We don't have to be
one of those terrible couples
581
00:26:09,902 --> 00:26:11,529
who break up and turn into monsters.
582
00:26:11,696 --> 00:26:13,531
God, no. That's not us.
583
00:26:13,698 --> 00:26:15,408
We can have fun this weekend,
just mates.
584
00:26:15,575 --> 00:26:17,368
Yeah, friends.
585
00:26:21,330 --> 00:26:24,000
Hey, do you wanna see something weird?
586
00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:25,960
- Yes.
- Brace yourself.
587
00:26:26,127 --> 00:26:28,212
What is it?
588
00:26:28,838 --> 00:26:30,798
It's Rex's sex box.
589
00:26:30,965 --> 00:26:32,258
Check out the pink thing.
590
00:26:32,425 --> 00:26:34,510
Look at all this different stuff.
591
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,096
Peach lube and flavoured condoms?
592
00:26:37,263 --> 00:26:40,016
- How disgusting must his dick taste?
- (laughs)
593
00:26:40,182 --> 00:26:41,684
Caitlin, come on, let's go.
594
00:26:41,851 --> 00:26:43,936
Sorry.
595
00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:45,896
- You coming?
- I'm gonna put up my tent.
596
00:26:46,063 --> 00:26:48,941
- But see you guys out there?
- Cool. See you in a bit.
597
00:26:50,026 --> 00:26:53,904
Oh. And I know it's tempting
but try not to lick the sex egg.
598
00:26:54,071 --> 00:26:56,949
(laughs)
599
00:26:57,116 --> 00:26:58,409
(sighs)
600
00:26:59,285 --> 00:27:01,162
I think this weekend's
gonna be really fun.
601
00:27:01,329 --> 00:27:03,748
You know, the sun's out,
the old gang are back together.
602
00:27:03,914 --> 00:27:06,125
- Me and Caitlin are getting on well.
- Good to hear.
603
00:27:06,584 --> 00:27:08,794
Yeah. Yeah.
Just joking around, having fun.
604
00:27:08,961 --> 00:27:11,088
And who knows?
One thing leads to another, we...
605
00:27:11,255 --> 00:27:13,382
I don't know.
I'm not saying we get back together.
606
00:27:13,549 --> 00:27:16,218
- Did something happen?
- No. We were just having a laugh.
607
00:27:16,385 --> 00:27:18,846
- I'm not saying we'll get back together.
- OK, cool.
608
00:27:19,013 --> 00:27:22,141
I'm just saying, you know, one thing leads
to another, maybe we do get back together.
609
00:27:22,308 --> 00:27:24,268
- Wanna get back with her?
- I'm not saying that.
610
00:27:24,435 --> 00:27:28,814
Sounds like you are saying that. Getting
back with an ex is never a good idea.
611
00:27:28,981 --> 00:27:32,109
It's like when you try to use the same
piece of toilet paper to wipe your arse.
612
00:27:32,276 --> 00:27:35,112
You fold it over, pretending
it isn't already covered in crap,
613
00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:38,949
but before you know it there's...
there's shit all over your fingers,
614
00:27:39,116 --> 00:27:41,369
and you're trying to
turn the tap on with your elbows,
615
00:27:41,535 --> 00:27:43,871
and your mum's going mad.
She wants to use the toilet.
616
00:27:44,038 --> 00:27:46,123
- What are you talking about?
- (sighs)
617
00:27:46,290 --> 00:27:48,959
Please don't make this whole weekend
about you and Caitlin.
618
00:27:49,126 --> 00:27:52,296
- We came here to have fun.
- I am having fun.
619
00:27:52,463 --> 00:27:54,256
Good.
620
00:27:54,423 --> 00:27:55,591
- Done.
- Yeah.
621
00:27:55,758 --> 00:27:57,218
- Looking good.
- Yeah.
622
00:27:57,385 --> 00:27:58,678
All right, let's do yours.
623
00:27:58,844 --> 00:28:00,221
- My what?
- Your tent.
624
00:28:00,388 --> 00:28:01,555
No, I didn't bring a tent.
625
00:28:01,722 --> 00:28:03,265
What? Where are you gonna sleep?
626
00:28:03,432 --> 00:28:04,767
In there, with you.
627
00:28:04,934 --> 00:28:06,602
No, Shane, it's barely big enough for me.
628
00:28:06,769 --> 00:28:08,521
Don't worry, I'm a small sleeper.
629
00:28:08,688 --> 00:28:10,439
- What?
- Shane...
630
00:28:10,606 --> 00:28:12,692
- It's so spacious.
- (thunder)
631
00:28:12,942 --> 00:28:15,027
♪ SLEAFORD MODS:
TCR
632
00:28:15,277 --> 00:28:17,363
(thunder)
633
00:28:19,073 --> 00:28:21,117
♪ TCR
634
00:28:21,992 --> 00:28:24,745
♪ Total Control Racing
635
00:28:25,454 --> 00:28:27,540
♪ TCR
636
00:28:27,748 --> 00:28:29,208
- Hi, guys.
- Good news.
637
00:28:29,375 --> 00:28:31,836
We checked on Gordy
and he is definitely still breathing.
638
00:28:32,002 --> 00:28:34,004
Cool. We're gonna
get a couple more drinks here
639
00:28:34,171 --> 00:28:36,966
and then go check out
this Congolese rapper, Yung Boner.
640
00:28:37,133 --> 00:28:38,801
He used to be a child soldier
641
00:28:38,968 --> 00:28:42,805
and then he gave up a full scholarship
to Yale to focus on rapping.
642
00:28:42,972 --> 00:28:44,890
Lucy, by the way.
643
00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:47,101
- Rex? Rex!
- Oh, fuck me.
644
00:28:47,268 --> 00:28:50,062
- The Pirate!
- Hey, hey! Oh, my gosh.
645
00:28:50,229 --> 00:28:52,815
I didn't know you were gonna be here,
you fucking dickweed.
646
00:28:52,982 --> 00:28:56,026
Good to see you, man. Last I heard,
you were in prison in Honduras.
647
00:28:56,193 --> 00:28:58,612
No, no, I just made that up
to get out of a Wonga debt.
648
00:28:58,779 --> 00:29:01,741
Look. I'm working here.
PR, security, band liaison.
649
00:29:01,907 --> 00:29:04,368
I'm basically, like, the go-to guy
for all the artists.
650
00:29:04,535 --> 00:29:06,704
- You know, I mean, it's no big deal.
- Sweet.
651
00:29:06,871 --> 00:29:08,789
Guys, this is The Pirate.
652
00:29:08,956 --> 00:29:10,124
Pirate, these are my uni pals.
653
00:29:10,291 --> 00:29:11,667
Hey. Nice to meet you.
654
00:29:11,834 --> 00:29:13,461
Pirate.
655
00:29:13,627 --> 00:29:15,171
Pirate. Yeah.
656
00:29:15,337 --> 00:29:16,505
- Pirate.
- Nick.
657
00:29:16,672 --> 00:29:19,508
Lick. Your name's fucking Lick?
658
00:29:19,675 --> 00:29:21,260
(Rex and The Pirate laugh)
659
00:29:21,427 --> 00:29:23,512
- No, no. Nick. Lick's not a name.
- Right.
660
00:29:23,679 --> 00:29:25,890
I was wondering why Rex
has a buddy named Lick.
661
00:29:26,056 --> 00:29:29,018
- (laughter)
- My name's not Lick.
662
00:29:29,185 --> 00:29:31,020
Can you imagine going up
for a job interview
663
00:29:31,187 --> 00:29:34,648
and like, being, like, "What's your name,
son?" "Lick." "Lick?"
664
00:29:34,815 --> 00:29:36,901
(laughter)
665
00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:43,783
You've literally just made this up.
666
00:29:43,949 --> 00:29:45,910
We're gonna
go and check out Yung Boner in a bit.
667
00:29:46,076 --> 00:29:48,204
Absolutely. I love that guy.
I'll see you there.
668
00:29:48,370 --> 00:29:50,080
I gotta get some factor 50
for Thom Yorke.
669
00:29:50,247 --> 00:29:52,333
That guy does not do well in the sun.
670
00:29:53,083 --> 00:29:54,502
Great meeting you guys.
671
00:29:54,668 --> 00:29:55,669
Lick.
672
00:29:55,836 --> 00:29:57,379
Hilarious. Hilarious.
673
00:29:57,546 --> 00:29:59,632
(another ripple of laughter)
674
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:01,717
Who the hell calls themselves The Pirate?
675
00:30:01,884 --> 00:30:04,178
What, does he have a parrot and a boat
and only one leg?
676
00:30:04,345 --> 00:30:06,597
He does actually only have one leg, yeah.
677
00:30:06,847 --> 00:30:09,975
He was in a car accident when he was five.
They had to amputate below the knee.
678
00:30:10,226 --> 00:30:12,436
- Oh, my God.
- Poor guy.
679
00:30:13,437 --> 00:30:18,025
That is obviously just so sad and...
680
00:30:18,192 --> 00:30:19,944
and tragic.
681
00:30:20,110 --> 00:30:23,197
But, I mean, there really is
no way I could have known that.
682
00:30:23,364 --> 00:30:26,534
Like, The Rock isn't called The Rock
cos his dad was crushed by a boulder.
683
00:30:26,826 --> 00:30:28,702
Well, who's the other one? The Edge.
684
00:30:28,869 --> 00:30:31,539
He's not called the Edge
cos he nearly fell off a cliff.
685
00:30:31,705 --> 00:30:32,957
A lot of people have nicknames.
686
00:30:33,123 --> 00:30:35,918
You don't immediately think,
"Oh, what's the injury?"
687
00:30:36,085 --> 00:30:38,170
Shall we get that drink?
688
00:30:39,713 --> 00:30:41,757
Yeah, get a... a drink.
689
00:30:41,924 --> 00:30:45,719
(Congolese vocals)
690
00:30:47,304 --> 00:30:48,889
Guys. Guys.
691
00:30:49,056 --> 00:30:51,642
Hey. What are you douchebags
doing all the way in the back?
692
00:30:51,809 --> 00:30:53,102
Let's get down to the front.
693
00:30:53,269 --> 00:30:56,230
No, it's much better back here.
And the view's actually pretty good.
694
00:30:56,397 --> 00:30:58,524
The view? (laughs) The view?
695
00:30:58,691 --> 00:31:01,694
All right, Mister Turner, you stay here
and do your watercolours.
696
00:31:01,861 --> 00:31:04,488
I'm gonna go down front
and feel the full force of his beats.
697
00:31:04,655 --> 00:31:06,282
- Now, who's with me?
- Yeah, I'll come.
698
00:31:06,448 --> 00:31:08,033
- Yes.
- Woo! Woo!
699
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:09,827
What, you're going too?
700
00:31:09,994 --> 00:31:11,537
What? It looks kind of fun down there.
701
00:31:11,704 --> 00:31:12,955
Crowds are not fun.
702
00:31:13,122 --> 00:31:15,040
Claustrophobia is not fun.
703
00:31:15,207 --> 00:31:17,793
Feeling like you're fleeing a genocide
is not fun.
704
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,922
No, you're right.
Let's, let's just stay here.
705
00:31:22,089 --> 00:31:23,924
(Congolese singer continues in background)
706
00:31:24,091 --> 00:31:26,176
- Just go.
- Thank you.
707
00:31:29,305 --> 00:31:30,973
Enjoying the festival?
708
00:31:31,140 --> 00:31:33,058
It's my ninth year. I'm travelling solo.
709
00:31:33,225 --> 00:31:34,894
Such a great way to meet new people.
710
00:31:35,060 --> 00:31:36,145
I think it's free.
711
00:31:36,312 --> 00:31:39,648
Ah, you go ahead.
I don't need the toilet. I'm just hanging.
712
00:31:40,524 --> 00:31:42,151
Enjoying the festival?
713
00:31:42,318 --> 00:31:43,402
It's my ninth year.
714
00:31:43,569 --> 00:31:46,780
I'm travelling solo.
Such a great way to meet new people.
715
00:31:48,032 --> 00:31:49,199
Enjoying the festival?
716
00:31:49,408 --> 00:31:50,951
(continues singing)
717
00:31:58,792 --> 00:32:00,878
(continues singing)
718
00:32:07,635 --> 00:32:09,261
Sorry, mate.
719
00:32:09,428 --> 00:32:11,722
- Can we stand where you're standing?
- Excuse me?
720
00:32:11,889 --> 00:32:14,099
Me and me mates.
We just want to stand where you are.
721
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:17,227
OK, but...right here?
722
00:32:17,394 --> 00:32:19,021
There's so much space.
723
00:32:19,188 --> 00:32:20,731
Come on, mate, don't be difficult.
724
00:32:20,898 --> 00:32:23,317
How am I being difficult?
I'm just standing here.
725
00:32:23,484 --> 00:32:25,778
- Yeah, but we want to stand there.
- Let him stand there.
726
00:32:25,945 --> 00:32:27,279
What? Who the fuck are you?
727
00:32:27,446 --> 00:32:29,156
Oi. Don't swear at him.
728
00:32:29,323 --> 00:32:30,866
You're ruining it for everyone.
729
00:32:31,033 --> 00:32:32,201
Just move, mate.
730
00:32:32,368 --> 00:32:34,078
- Yeah, go on. Piss off!
- (jeering)
731
00:32:34,244 --> 00:32:36,163
What is happening?
732
00:32:36,330 --> 00:32:37,957
- (jeering)
- What's happening?
733
00:32:38,123 --> 00:32:42,920
- Fine, fine. I'm going, I'm going.
- (booing)
734
00:32:43,087 --> 00:32:45,172
- See you, then.
- Dickhead.
735
00:32:47,049 --> 00:32:49,134
Thank you, thank you.
736
00:32:49,426 --> 00:32:51,136
- Nick.
- Dude.
737
00:32:51,303 --> 00:32:53,305
You're even further back? Wow.
738
00:32:53,472 --> 00:32:54,932
Yeah, well, it was great, actually.
739
00:32:55,099 --> 00:32:56,976
Had a lot of personal space,
a panoramic view.
740
00:32:57,142 --> 00:32:58,268
Saw the drummer really well.
741
00:32:58,435 --> 00:33:00,270
Fuck. I think I've lost my phone.
742
00:33:00,437 --> 00:33:01,689
Oh, my God. Are you sure?
743
00:33:01,855 --> 00:33:04,650
Shit. I can't believe I've lost it
on the first day. I'm an idiot.
744
00:33:04,817 --> 00:33:06,235
Oh, hey, everything'll be fine.
745
00:33:06,402 --> 00:33:09,154
It's just a phone. It's only
a few bits of plastic glued together.
746
00:33:09,321 --> 00:33:10,739
There's a bit more to it than that.
747
00:33:10,906 --> 00:33:12,241
We're at a festival, right?
748
00:33:12,408 --> 00:33:15,244
So just think of it as a way to get
into the communal spirit of things.
749
00:33:15,411 --> 00:33:17,246
You know what? I'm jealous.
750
00:33:17,413 --> 00:33:20,708
I think the whole weekend'll be better
without one of these anyways.
751
00:33:20,874 --> 00:33:22,960
Oh, shit.
752
00:33:23,669 --> 00:33:25,337
See that? No phone and I'm still alive.
753
00:33:25,504 --> 00:33:26,547
Oh, my God.
754
00:33:26,797 --> 00:33:29,925
- You didn't have to do that, but thanks.
- I think that hit someone.
755
00:33:30,092 --> 00:33:33,220
Now, who's gonna buy
these two phoneless freaks a drink?
756
00:33:33,637 --> 00:33:34,847
Good idea.
757
00:33:35,014 --> 00:33:36,890
Of course
he's gonna tell Caitlin it's fine.
758
00:33:37,057 --> 00:33:39,727
I mean, after you've lost a leg,
I'm sure a phone's nothing.
759
00:33:39,893 --> 00:33:43,313
- You're annoyed cos he calls you Lick.
- It's not even a name!
760
00:33:45,399 --> 00:33:48,694
Look, I think I'm gonna try
and find Caitlin's phone.
761
00:33:48,861 --> 00:33:50,821
Oh, my God,
you are trying to get back with her.
762
00:33:50,988 --> 00:33:52,114
No.
763
00:33:52,281 --> 00:33:53,657
You saw how upset she was.
764
00:33:54,116 --> 00:33:56,827
Dude, just leave it. Let's get drunk
and do literally anything else.
765
00:33:56,994 --> 00:33:58,203
Trust me.
766
00:33:58,370 --> 00:33:59,997
You've gotta trust me.
767
00:34:00,164 --> 00:34:01,999
Because I know what I'm doing.
768
00:34:04,209 --> 00:34:05,544
OK, that was Yung Boner.
769
00:34:05,711 --> 00:34:07,379
- Give it up for Yung Boner.
- (cheering)
770
00:34:07,546 --> 00:34:10,466
Just to let you know,
the food trucks have opened up back there.
771
00:34:10,632 --> 00:34:12,051
Sorry. Sorry about that.
772
00:34:12,217 --> 00:34:13,886
We've got the next band coming on.
773
00:34:14,053 --> 00:34:16,221
Two young ladies
from Silver Lake in Los Angeles.
774
00:34:16,388 --> 00:34:17,681
Are you ready?
775
00:34:17,848 --> 00:34:19,975
- Give it up for Deap Vally!
- (phone rings nearby)
776
00:34:20,142 --> 00:34:21,143
Phone.
777
00:34:21,310 --> 00:34:23,145
Do you mind if I...? I'm just gonna...
778
00:34:23,312 --> 00:34:24,438
(cheering)
779
00:34:24,605 --> 00:34:26,190
- I'm sorry.
- (cheering)
780
00:34:26,356 --> 00:34:29,234
Can I just get that? Can I get it?
781
00:34:29,401 --> 00:34:31,737
- Can I get...? There's a...
- (cheering)
782
00:34:33,822 --> 00:34:35,908
- (phone continues to ring)
- See it.
783
00:34:47,419 --> 00:34:49,505
Yes!
784
00:34:50,297 --> 00:34:52,382
Eugh!
785
00:34:53,050 --> 00:34:54,468
What the fuck? You're pissing.
786
00:34:54,635 --> 00:34:56,011
Yeah.
787
00:34:56,720 --> 00:34:58,555
Why are you pissing?
You just pissed on me.
788
00:34:58,722 --> 00:34:59,807
It's the front, mate.
789
00:34:59,973 --> 00:35:02,059
I mean, you're still pissing?
790
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:05,104
Yeah.
791
00:35:05,270 --> 00:35:06,688
Fuck me. Sorry.
792
00:35:06,855 --> 00:35:09,441
Sorry. Sorry.
793
00:35:09,608 --> 00:35:12,653
Hammerhead is literally the most
in-demand DJ in the world.
794
00:35:12,820 --> 00:35:14,696
You know he played
at Robert Mugabe's 90th?
795
00:35:14,863 --> 00:35:17,991
It looks like Caitlin's
finally gonna end her dry spell.
796
00:35:18,158 --> 00:35:19,368
- What?
- Look at her.
797
00:35:19,535 --> 00:35:21,662
She's so obviously into The Pirate.
798
00:35:21,829 --> 00:35:24,790
She's picked a good 'un.
Between us, he's got a big old cock.
799
00:35:25,249 --> 00:35:27,501
He calls it the plank,
but we used to call it his second leg.
800
00:35:27,668 --> 00:35:29,336
(laughs)
801
00:35:29,503 --> 00:35:31,171
Oh, man, Nick'll be gutted.
802
00:35:31,338 --> 00:35:33,507
Why?
It's been ages since they broke up.
803
00:35:33,674 --> 00:35:35,634
Plus they're not exactly well suited.
804
00:35:35,801 --> 00:35:40,556
Caitlin's, like, fun and, like, cool,
and Nick's just so...
805
00:35:40,722 --> 00:35:43,183
- Nickish.
- Yeah, Nickish, exactly.
806
00:35:43,350 --> 00:35:45,144
- What do you mean?
- It's hard to explain.
807
00:35:45,602 --> 00:35:49,565
It's just when he's around,
stuff is kind of much less fun.
808
00:35:49,731 --> 00:35:52,651
Yeah, first time I met him, I told him
about my gap year in Australia
809
00:35:52,818 --> 00:35:55,195
and he kept talking about
Aboriginal discrimination.
810
00:35:55,362 --> 00:35:58,907
Like, bloody hell, just because some
convicts massacred a bunch of tribes,
811
00:35:59,074 --> 00:36:00,868
suddenly I can't go skydiving.
812
00:36:01,577 --> 00:36:02,995
Hello.
813
00:36:03,162 --> 00:36:05,080
Guys, good news.
814
00:36:05,247 --> 00:36:07,332
(mumbled response)
815
00:36:09,793 --> 00:36:13,088
- Gordy?
- (mumbles)
816
00:36:13,463 --> 00:36:14,923
You all right?
817
00:36:15,090 --> 00:36:16,133
You shaved your head.
818
00:36:16,508 --> 00:36:18,385
(mumbles):
All right? I said I'm...
819
00:36:18,552 --> 00:36:20,679
Gordy, do you know where Caitlin
and the others are?
820
00:36:20,846 --> 00:36:22,264
(mumbles)
821
00:36:22,431 --> 00:36:23,515
It's just, er...
822
00:36:23,682 --> 00:36:27,436
Caitlin lost her phone and I went
to look for it, as a friend, obviously,
823
00:36:27,603 --> 00:36:31,857
erm...and I wanna return it to her, so
should I wait in there till they get back?
824
00:36:32,024 --> 00:36:33,483
(mumbles)
825
00:36:33,650 --> 00:36:35,527
Yeah, good idea. I'll just wait in there.
826
00:36:35,694 --> 00:36:38,113
- You cool there, mate?
- (mumbles)
827
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:41,158
Yeah. Well, look, let me know
if you need anything.
828
00:36:42,743 --> 00:36:46,038
OK, so I hope one of you guys is
gonna give me an appreciative rim job.
829
00:36:46,205 --> 00:36:48,248
Pirate just got us VIP wristbands.
830
00:36:48,415 --> 00:36:50,626
Check 'em out.
These bad boys'll get you backstage.
831
00:36:50,792 --> 00:36:52,920
I don't mean to blow
my own massive dick or anything
832
00:36:53,086 --> 00:36:55,088
but I am in pretty tight
with all the acts,
833
00:36:55,255 --> 00:36:57,966
so if you play your cards right,
I might even introduce you.
834
00:36:58,133 --> 00:37:00,093
Holy shit. I'm gonna meet Hammerhead.
835
00:37:00,385 --> 00:37:04,056
Yeah, see, the thing is, I could
only get three wristbands, so...
836
00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:06,642
You understand, right?
837
00:37:07,226 --> 00:37:08,894
Yeah. Yeah.
838
00:37:09,061 --> 00:37:10,312
It's fine.
839
00:37:10,479 --> 00:37:12,731
Sorry... mate.
840
00:37:12,898 --> 00:37:14,274
You don't remember my name, do you?
841
00:37:14,441 --> 00:37:16,193
I wanna say Dougie.
842
00:37:21,114 --> 00:37:23,492
"Nick, what are you doing in here?"
I found your phone.
843
00:37:23,659 --> 00:37:25,953
(as Caitlin): "Oh, my God,
Nick, you're incredible."
844
00:37:26,119 --> 00:37:29,456
Incredible is a strong word, Caitlin,
but, yeah, I'll take it.
845
00:37:29,623 --> 00:37:31,208
(as Caitlin):
"Oh, kiss me."
846
00:37:31,375 --> 00:37:33,835
What? But, Caitlin, we're broken up.
847
00:37:34,002 --> 00:37:36,880
(as Caitlin):
"I don't care. I want you inside me."
848
00:37:44,471 --> 00:37:45,931
(giggling)
849
00:37:46,098 --> 00:37:47,516
(voices nearby)
850
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:53,605
Oh, shit.
851
00:37:56,733 --> 00:37:58,235
Fuck.
852
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:09,955
- Do you smell piss?
- Who cares?
853
00:38:10,122 --> 00:38:11,915
- Mm.
- Let me get this off.
854
00:38:12,082 --> 00:38:13,208
(giggles)
855
00:38:25,095 --> 00:38:27,472
(squeals)
856
00:38:27,639 --> 00:38:29,224
(giggling)
857
00:38:32,227 --> 00:38:33,603
Six years ago, did it.
858
00:38:33,770 --> 00:38:35,397
Five years ago, did it.
859
00:38:35,564 --> 00:38:36,773
Four years ago, did it.
860
00:38:36,940 --> 00:38:38,567
Three years ago, did it.
861
00:38:38,734 --> 00:38:40,777
Two years ago, did it.
862
00:38:40,944 --> 00:38:42,279
One year ago, did it.
863
00:38:42,446 --> 00:38:44,781
You guys look like
you're having great fun.
864
00:38:44,948 --> 00:38:46,033
(collective groaning)
865
00:38:46,199 --> 00:38:48,285
I'm Amy, by the way.
866
00:38:48,910 --> 00:38:50,829
- Oh, Caitlin.
- Oh, Pirate.
867
00:38:51,038 --> 00:38:53,373
- Oh, Caitlin.
- Oh, Pirate.
868
00:38:53,707 --> 00:38:57,169
- Oh, Caitlin.
- Oh, Pirate.
869
00:38:57,336 --> 00:38:59,588
You wanna walk the plank,
you naughty girl?
870
00:38:59,755 --> 00:39:01,673
Yeah, I wanna walk the plank.
871
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:03,925
- Yeah? Yeah? OK.
- (giggles)
872
00:39:04,551 --> 00:39:06,553
You need to walk the plank.
873
00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:08,430
Here we go.
874
00:39:08,597 --> 00:39:10,682
(moans)
875
00:39:12,017 --> 00:39:13,018
(screams)
876
00:39:13,185 --> 00:39:15,062
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
877
00:39:15,228 --> 00:39:16,438
- Oh, shit!
- Sorry...
878
00:39:16,605 --> 00:39:18,482
- Lick!
- Sorry, sorry, sorry.
879
00:39:19,649 --> 00:39:21,234
NICK:
It isn't that bad.
880
00:39:21,401 --> 00:39:22,611
It was a misunderstanding.
881
00:39:22,778 --> 00:39:25,072
It must happen all the time.
882
00:39:25,238 --> 00:39:28,116
Yeah. She's probably really happy
you gave her phone back.
883
00:39:28,283 --> 00:39:30,369
- Exactly.
- Guys?
884
00:39:30,911 --> 00:39:31,995
Listen, guys...
885
00:39:32,162 --> 00:39:34,247
Fuck me, what's that smell?
886
00:39:35,415 --> 00:39:37,125
Oh. A man pissed on me earlier.
887
00:39:37,292 --> 00:39:39,044
Can you just come out here, please?
888
00:39:43,924 --> 00:39:45,592
So, we were having a chat
889
00:39:45,759 --> 00:39:48,470
and we were thinking maybe you guys
shouldn't stay here any more.
890
00:39:48,637 --> 00:39:50,389
What? We're not sex offenders.
891
00:39:50,555 --> 00:39:51,973
Nick, it's been decided.
892
00:39:52,140 --> 00:39:55,268
Oh, it's been decided, has it?
Sorry, we actually live in a democracy.
893
00:39:55,435 --> 00:39:57,020
We didn't fight Hitler
894
00:39:57,187 --> 00:40:00,399
so that people like you could go around
just telling other people
895
00:40:00,565 --> 00:40:02,317
where they can be at festivals.
896
00:40:02,484 --> 00:40:04,444
We should at least have a vote.
897
00:40:05,362 --> 00:40:07,823
- Fine, we'll vote.
- Fine.
898
00:40:07,989 --> 00:40:10,117
Those in favour of us staying.
899
00:40:10,283 --> 00:40:12,369
Those in favour of them leaving.
900
00:40:14,496 --> 00:40:16,790
What about Gordy? Gordy hasn't voted.
Gordy gets a vote.
901
00:40:16,957 --> 00:40:19,167
Gordy, do you want me and Shane to stay?
902
00:40:19,334 --> 00:40:21,086
If you do, raise your hand.
903
00:40:26,675 --> 00:40:29,010
There you go. Three all. Unlucky, Rex.
904
00:40:29,177 --> 00:40:32,055
- What about me? I didn't get to vote.
- You're not part of the group.
905
00:40:32,222 --> 00:40:34,474
He's having sex with Caitlin.
He's part of the group.
906
00:40:34,641 --> 00:40:36,726
"He's having sex with Caitlin."
Fine, new vote.
907
00:40:36,893 --> 00:40:38,103
Is Pirate part of the group?
908
00:40:38,270 --> 00:40:39,980
If you think he is, raise your hand.
909
00:40:41,523 --> 00:40:43,316
One, two, three. That's a tie.
910
00:40:43,483 --> 00:40:45,569
Oh, Gordy, for fuck's sake!
911
00:40:45,735 --> 00:40:47,821
♪ BEAR HANDS:
2AM
912
00:40:48,697 --> 00:40:50,949
♪ Can't remember anything else
913
00:40:51,116 --> 00:40:55,412
♪ Nothing good happens past 2am
914
00:40:55,579 --> 00:40:57,497
There's somewhere to camp just past here.
915
00:40:57,664 --> 00:40:58,957
No, this way.
916
00:40:59,124 --> 00:41:01,042
♪ Text me back
917
00:41:01,209 --> 00:41:02,878
I think it was this way.
918
00:41:03,044 --> 00:41:04,963
I definitely saw a space down here.
919
00:41:05,130 --> 00:41:07,549
Bet you're glad now we've only
got one tent. Less to carry.
920
00:41:07,716 --> 00:41:09,259
- Please stop talking.
- Just saying.
921
00:41:09,426 --> 00:41:11,178
Cos we've been walking
for a long time and...
922
00:41:11,595 --> 00:41:12,804
Just no talking at all.
923
00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:17,642
♪ Nothing good happens past 2am
924
00:41:34,409 --> 00:41:36,495
It's so hot in here.
925
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,206
How did it get so hot?
926
00:41:41,249 --> 00:41:43,335
My balls are sopping wet.
927
00:41:44,794 --> 00:41:48,006
I feel like it's brighter in here
than it is just outside.
928
00:41:49,883 --> 00:41:51,009
(exhales)
929
00:41:54,804 --> 00:41:56,890
- (straining)
- This is a nice spot.
930
00:41:57,724 --> 00:41:59,518
Oh, my giddy God! Shane!
931
00:41:59,684 --> 00:42:00,685
Nick!
932
00:42:00,852 --> 00:42:02,103
What are you guys doing here?
933
00:42:02,270 --> 00:42:05,315
- There's nowhere else left to camp.
- Nick got caught watching his ex
934
00:42:05,482 --> 00:42:07,901
- suck off a guy with one leg.
- Ah, rookie mistake.
935
00:42:08,068 --> 00:42:10,820
I can't believe it.
The train gang are back together.
936
00:42:10,987 --> 00:42:12,989
I'm gonna show you guys the best time.
937
00:42:13,156 --> 00:42:15,158
- What shall we do first?
- Well, I stink of piss.
938
00:42:15,325 --> 00:42:17,244
I should probably do something
about that.
939
00:42:17,410 --> 00:42:19,120
What about you, Shane?
Gonna scrub up?
940
00:42:19,287 --> 00:42:20,455
(sniffs) No.
941
00:42:20,872 --> 00:42:21,957
Au naturel. I like it.
942
00:42:22,123 --> 00:42:24,751
Embracing the stink
is what festivals are all about.
943
00:42:24,918 --> 00:42:27,462
Before we head off, we should
probably get some breakfast.
944
00:42:27,629 --> 00:42:28,672
Is that all you're having?
945
00:42:28,838 --> 00:42:31,675
Breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Got almonds in it. It's something.
946
00:42:31,841 --> 00:42:34,844
Shane, you can't just eat Toblerone
like some weirdo autistic prince.
947
00:42:35,011 --> 00:42:37,097
Here, have some proper food.
948
00:42:40,433 --> 00:42:42,060
- What the hell is that?
- Chaffney.
949
00:42:42,227 --> 00:42:44,354
- Chaffney?
- It's a family recipe.
950
00:42:44,521 --> 00:42:46,565
Chaffney is a delicious all-in-one stew
951
00:42:46,731 --> 00:42:49,025
jam-packed with every nutrient
you need to survive.
952
00:42:49,192 --> 00:42:51,444
One bite of Chaffney
will keep you going for hours.
953
00:42:51,611 --> 00:42:53,822
Chaffney is the perfect festival food.
954
00:43:04,749 --> 00:43:07,335
- That is incredible.
- Told you.
955
00:43:07,502 --> 00:43:09,337
Dude, Amy's sorted us breakfast.
956
00:43:09,504 --> 00:43:12,966
Get some of this down you.
Then we'll get this show on the road.
957
00:43:14,175 --> 00:43:15,927
- I'll buy something.
- Suit yourself.
958
00:43:16,094 --> 00:43:19,055
While we're out and about, you can
spend £20 on some fancy burger
959
00:43:19,222 --> 00:43:22,475
that's probably full of horsemeat,
Shane and I will fill up on Chaffney.
960
00:43:22,642 --> 00:43:24,811
Full disclosure:
there is horsemeat in Chaffney.
961
00:43:24,978 --> 00:43:26,938
Let's get ready.
962
00:43:27,105 --> 00:43:29,190
♪ THE KILLERS:
Mr Brightside
963
00:43:31,610 --> 00:43:32,944
♪ Coming out of my cage
964
00:43:33,111 --> 00:43:34,613
♪ And I've been doing just fine
965
00:43:34,779 --> 00:43:36,197
♪ Gotta gotta be down
966
00:43:36,364 --> 00:43:37,741
♪ Because I want it all
967
00:43:37,907 --> 00:43:39,284
♪ It started out with a kiss
968
00:43:39,659 --> 00:43:41,161
♪ How did it end up like this?
969
00:43:41,328 --> 00:43:44,164
♪ It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
970
00:43:44,331 --> 00:43:45,915
♪ Now I'm falling asleep
971
00:43:46,082 --> 00:43:47,500
♪ And she's calling a cab
972
00:43:47,667 --> 00:43:49,127
♪ While he's having a smoke
973
00:43:49,294 --> 00:43:50,712
♪ And she's taking a drag
974
00:43:50,879 --> 00:43:52,213
♪ Now they're going to bed
975
00:43:52,380 --> 00:43:53,923
♪ And my stomach is sick
976
00:43:54,090 --> 00:43:55,675
♪ And it's all in my head
977
00:43:55,842 --> 00:43:57,302
♪ But she's touching his chest now
978
00:43:57,469 --> 00:43:58,678
(laughs)
979
00:43:58,845 --> 00:44:01,765
♪ He takes off her dress now
980
00:44:02,015 --> 00:44:04,601
♪ Letting me go
981
00:44:10,398 --> 00:44:15,278
♪ And I just can't look, it's killing me
982
00:44:15,945 --> 00:44:19,699
♪ And taking control
983
00:44:23,203 --> 00:44:27,832
♪ Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
984
00:44:27,999 --> 00:44:30,960
♪ Swimming through sick lullabies
985
00:44:31,127 --> 00:44:34,464
♪ Choking on your alibis
- (cheering)
986
00:44:34,631 --> 00:44:37,425
♪ But it's just the price I pay
987
00:44:37,592 --> 00:44:40,804
♪ Destiny is calling me
988
00:44:40,970 --> 00:44:46,101
♪ Open up my eager eyes
- (laughter)
989
00:44:46,267 --> 00:44:49,229
♪ Cos I'm Mr Brightside
990
00:44:52,774 --> 00:44:55,485
You know, this place is even
better when you're not on your own.
991
00:44:55,652 --> 00:44:57,070
Thanks for showing us around, Amy.
992
00:44:57,237 --> 00:44:59,656
It's been the best day
since Robin broke both his ankles.
993
00:44:59,823 --> 00:45:01,616
I haven't sat down in, like, nine hours.
994
00:45:01,783 --> 00:45:03,618
They should have
more places to sit down.
995
00:45:03,785 --> 00:45:05,870
And also it's too muddy.
996
00:45:07,372 --> 00:45:08,915
(under his breath):
Oh, shit.
997
00:45:09,082 --> 00:45:10,542
Hi, guys.
998
00:45:10,709 --> 00:45:12,127
- Hey.
- Hi.
999
00:45:12,293 --> 00:45:15,839
Listen, I know things got a little bit
weird last night after what you guys did,
1000
00:45:16,005 --> 00:45:17,924
but it's water under the bridge.
1001
00:45:18,091 --> 00:45:20,301
- I didn't do anything.
- Apology accepted. (laughs)
1002
00:45:20,468 --> 00:45:22,053
To be honest, we've had a great day.
1003
00:45:22,220 --> 00:45:23,763
You know me, just going with the flow.
1004
00:45:23,930 --> 00:45:26,182
We found a great new place to camp
next to the toilets.
1005
00:45:26,349 --> 00:45:29,018
I've had a wash. I don't smell of piss
any more. Not very much.
1006
00:45:29,185 --> 00:45:30,437
Basically it's all chill.
1007
00:45:30,603 --> 00:45:31,980
Harry Potter!
1008
00:45:32,147 --> 00:45:34,190
- Harry Potter!
- Hey, who's your buddy, Lick?
1009
00:45:34,357 --> 00:45:35,859
Oh, I don't know him, but he's funny.
1010
00:45:36,109 --> 00:45:37,485
- All right, mate?
- Harry Potter!
1011
00:45:37,652 --> 00:45:41,072
Harry Potter. I mean, I do not look
like Harry Potter at all.
1012
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:42,240
Oh...
1013
00:45:42,407 --> 00:45:44,242
One person I do not look like
is Harry Potter.
1014
00:45:44,617 --> 00:45:45,952
Come on, Harry, let's play Quidditch.
1015
00:45:46,119 --> 00:45:47,495
Yeah! Oh. (laughs)
1016
00:45:47,662 --> 00:45:49,706
- That's not how you play Quidditch.
- (laughter)
1017
00:45:49,873 --> 00:45:52,542
What have you been watching?
Fucking hell.
1018
00:45:52,751 --> 00:45:54,836
Can someone get him off?
Oh, shit.
1019
00:45:55,003 --> 00:45:56,546
(muffled groan)
1020
00:45:56,713 --> 00:45:58,590
- Help. Can someone get him off?
- (laughter)
1021
00:45:58,757 --> 00:46:00,508
- Harry, go on. Catch this.
- (laughter)
1022
00:46:00,717 --> 00:46:03,052
- Can someone get him off? He's mental.
- Harry Potter!
1023
00:46:03,219 --> 00:46:05,638
- Oh, my God. Indian street food.
- It's Harry Potter.
1024
00:46:05,805 --> 00:46:07,891
SHANE:
Yeah. I know. Harry Potter.
1025
00:46:10,226 --> 00:46:11,227
- Nick.
- Nick.
1026
00:46:11,394 --> 00:46:13,271
It's just mud,
with a bit of shit mixed in.
1027
00:46:13,438 --> 00:46:15,815
Guys, seriously, I'm through.
1028
00:46:15,982 --> 00:46:19,152
The only person who will ever love me
1029
00:46:19,319 --> 00:46:20,862
and her new fuck buddy
1030
00:46:21,029 --> 00:46:22,280
just watched me drink mud.
1031
00:46:22,447 --> 00:46:23,656
I am done.
1032
00:46:23,823 --> 00:46:26,618
I just want to go back to the tent
and hide there
1033
00:46:26,785 --> 00:46:28,578
until this fucking festival is over
1034
00:46:28,745 --> 00:46:31,915
and I can go home and have
a proper shower and a poo.
1035
00:46:34,334 --> 00:46:36,419
Nick.
1036
00:46:39,756 --> 00:46:42,175
- Shall we go with him?
- Nah, he's all right.
1037
00:46:43,134 --> 00:46:45,428
He gets like this.
The trick is to give him some space.
1038
00:46:45,595 --> 00:46:47,931
In that case,
do you wanna do something cool?
1039
00:46:48,097 --> 00:46:49,224
Yes.
1040
00:46:49,390 --> 00:46:51,184
In the woods behind the hippie field
1041
00:46:51,518 --> 00:46:54,687
there's a stone circle with a rock
that looks just like Mark Ruffalo.
1042
00:46:54,854 --> 00:46:57,565
I've always been too spooked
to go by myself.
1043
00:46:57,732 --> 00:47:00,860
- Do you wanna go check it out?
- Yes, I love rocks that look like things.
1044
00:47:01,027 --> 00:47:03,947
♪ Ooh woo, I'm a rebel just for kicks, now
1045
00:47:04,113 --> 00:47:06,783
♪ I been feeling it since 1966, now
1046
00:47:06,950 --> 00:47:09,828
♪ Might have had your fill,
but you feel it still...
1047
00:47:13,498 --> 00:47:16,417
And that's why I left Australia at 16
with nothing but a backpack
1048
00:47:16,584 --> 00:47:18,211
and my grandad's World War II revolver.
1049
00:47:18,461 --> 00:47:20,296
Obviously they took that
off me at Customs.
1050
00:47:20,463 --> 00:47:21,548
How do you know Nick?
1051
00:47:21,714 --> 00:47:23,508
We lived next door
to each other in first year.
1052
00:47:23,842 --> 00:47:25,760
I was cooking pasta
and I set my curtains on fire
1053
00:47:25,927 --> 00:47:27,720
and Nick came in
and helped me put them out,
1054
00:47:27,887 --> 00:47:29,722
and he's been looking out for me
ever since.
1055
00:47:29,889 --> 00:47:32,433
- What are your friends like?
- I don't really have any.
1056
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:36,813
People tend to hang out with me for a bit
and then, I don't know, stop.
1057
00:47:36,980 --> 00:47:39,190
My mum says I'm like a little bush fire:
1058
00:47:39,357 --> 00:47:42,360
exciting at first but you don't want it
anywhere near your house.
1059
00:47:42,527 --> 00:47:44,279
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure thing.
1060
00:47:44,445 --> 00:47:46,072
- Are we lost?
- No, no, no, no.
1061
00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:49,993
Because that was East, so we're headed
West, because that's the North Star up...
1062
00:47:50,159 --> 00:47:52,245
That's the moon. Yeah, we're lost.
1063
00:47:52,662 --> 00:47:55,540
(chanting):
Ah-oo-wen, ah-oo-wen...
1064
00:47:55,707 --> 00:47:57,542
Hey, can you hear that?
1065
00:47:58,751 --> 00:48:00,295
Yeah.
1066
00:48:00,461 --> 00:48:05,425
(chanting):
Ah-oo-wen, ah-oo-wen...
1067
00:48:05,592 --> 00:48:10,471
Ah-oo-wen, ah-oo-wen...
1068
00:48:11,264 --> 00:48:16,227
Ah-oo-wen, ah-oo-wen...
1069
00:48:17,186 --> 00:48:18,563
What is that?
1070
00:48:18,730 --> 00:48:21,149
Maybe they're filming an advert.
1071
00:48:21,316 --> 00:48:23,067
For what?
1072
00:48:23,234 --> 00:48:25,028
Fire?
1073
00:48:25,194 --> 00:48:27,947
This is creeping me out.
I think we should leave.
1074
00:48:28,948 --> 00:48:31,993
Who dares enter our sacred grove?
1075
00:48:35,163 --> 00:48:37,874
- Please don't eat us.
- I know I look athletic but it's all fat.
1076
00:48:38,041 --> 00:48:42,670
Why do people always assume
we're going to eat them?
1077
00:48:43,796 --> 00:48:46,841
We're Druids,
1078
00:48:47,008 --> 00:48:48,134
not cannibals.
1079
00:48:48,426 --> 00:48:50,345
Whoa. You guys are Druids?
1080
00:48:50,511 --> 00:48:53,556
I'm Brother Julian,
High Priest of this sect.
1081
00:48:53,723 --> 00:48:55,516
I'm really sorry if we scared you.
1082
00:48:55,683 --> 00:48:58,895
We thought you might be
a couple of those Wiccan pricks.
1083
00:48:59,062 --> 00:49:00,063
(laughs)
1084
00:49:00,229 --> 00:49:03,191
You've stumbled upon
our annual summer solstice celebration.
1085
00:49:03,358 --> 00:49:06,027
But this year is extra special.
1086
00:49:06,653 --> 00:49:09,030
My son David is taking a bride.
1087
00:49:09,197 --> 00:49:11,658
Oh, congrats. We'll get out of your hair.
1088
00:49:11,824 --> 00:49:14,619
- Yeah, we don't wanna crash.
- No, no. This is a joyous occasion.
1089
00:49:14,786 --> 00:49:18,790
As father of the groom, it's my duty
to invite you to join in our festivities.
1090
00:49:18,957 --> 00:49:20,583
Oh, well...
1091
00:49:20,750 --> 00:49:24,170
- (singsong): There's a hog roast.
- That could actually be great.
1092
00:49:24,337 --> 00:49:26,631
- We haven't had any hot food.
- Pork would be nice.
1093
00:49:26,798 --> 00:49:29,592
Libations for our guests. (laughs)
1094
00:49:30,718 --> 00:49:31,928
Plastic cups OK?
1095
00:49:36,182 --> 00:49:38,267
Aagh!
1096
00:49:38,893 --> 00:49:41,104
- Shit.
- Argh.
1097
00:49:41,270 --> 00:49:42,522
Shit. Are you OK?
1098
00:49:42,689 --> 00:49:44,107
The security prick's chasing me.
1099
00:49:44,273 --> 00:49:46,693
- You've got to hide me.
- Er... You can hide in my tent.
1100
00:49:47,110 --> 00:49:48,945
Great. Thanks.
1101
00:49:50,571 --> 00:49:52,240
Hello, Officer.
1102
00:49:52,407 --> 00:49:54,492
What a fine summer's eve it is.
1103
00:49:57,412 --> 00:49:59,414
Coast is clear.
1104
00:49:59,580 --> 00:50:02,166
(laughs)
What was that "summer's eve" shit?
1105
00:50:02,333 --> 00:50:04,085
I panicked. Why was he chasing you?
1106
00:50:04,252 --> 00:50:06,337
Caught me stealing fruit
from Tame Impala's yurt.
1107
00:50:06,504 --> 00:50:08,464
Just had to get me bowels moving.
1108
00:50:08,631 --> 00:50:11,634
- You're a Smurf.
- Yeah, hen do. We've all come as Smurfs.
1109
00:50:11,801 --> 00:50:14,303
Got split up a couple of hours ago
when I went out on the rob.
1110
00:50:14,470 --> 00:50:16,764
If I see loads of Smurfs,
I'll say you're looking for them.
1111
00:50:16,931 --> 00:50:20,935
Don't bother. I've got all the MDMA,
so it's actually worked out really well.
1112
00:50:21,102 --> 00:50:22,770
Hey, I totally owe you.
1113
00:50:22,937 --> 00:50:24,772
- Do you fancy a bit?
- Oh, no, thanks.
1114
00:50:24,939 --> 00:50:28,026
- I'm...full.
- Full?
1115
00:50:28,192 --> 00:50:30,194
- Also I'm not really in the mood.
- Huh!
1116
00:50:30,361 --> 00:50:33,906
That's exactly why this stuff was
invented. Come on. It'll be fun.
1117
00:50:35,408 --> 00:50:37,285
- Are you sure it's safe?
- Oh, don't worry.
1118
00:50:37,452 --> 00:50:40,997
My girlfriend's had them tested.
There's no cement mix in these ones.
1119
00:50:41,164 --> 00:50:43,833
- I don't know.
- Maybe just start with a half?
1120
00:50:47,378 --> 00:50:50,173
Come on. Open wide.
1121
00:50:56,888 --> 00:50:57,930
Good boy.
1122
00:50:58,097 --> 00:51:01,559
I'm not gonna imagine my dick's a sausage
and start trying to fry it, am I?
1123
00:51:01,726 --> 00:51:03,686
Guess we'll find out.
1124
00:51:03,853 --> 00:51:05,730
♪ THE KILLERS:
Mr Brightside
1125
00:51:11,611 --> 00:51:13,529
♪ I just can't look
1126
00:51:13,696 --> 00:51:16,199
♪ It's killing me
1127
00:51:18,034 --> 00:51:21,579
♪ And taking control
1128
00:51:29,462 --> 00:51:32,381
♪ But it's just the price I pay
1129
00:51:32,548 --> 00:51:36,052
♪ Destiny is calling me
1130
00:51:36,344 --> 00:51:41,307
♪ Open up my eager eyes
1131
00:51:42,225 --> 00:51:45,436
♪ Cos I'm Mr Brightside
1132
00:51:46,104 --> 00:51:47,313
(nearby laughter)
1133
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:49,524
(laughs) Brother Shane, Sister Amy.
1134
00:51:49,690 --> 00:51:51,484
I do trust
you're enjoying yourselves.
1135
00:51:51,651 --> 00:51:53,194
Would you care for another cup of Pimm's?
1136
00:51:53,444 --> 00:51:55,530
Oh, I don't mind if I do. Thank you.
1137
00:51:55,988 --> 00:51:57,990
Ah, I'd like you to meet my son.
1138
00:51:58,157 --> 00:51:59,408
The lucky man.
1139
00:51:59,575 --> 00:52:02,036
- Great to meet you, Brother David.
- Yeah, congrats.
1140
00:52:02,203 --> 00:52:03,871
Are you nervous?
1141
00:52:04,038 --> 00:52:05,873
Is it that obvious?
1142
00:52:06,958 --> 00:52:09,168
(laughs) I'm only joking.
1143
00:52:09,335 --> 00:52:10,795
(they laugh)
1144
00:52:10,962 --> 00:52:12,880
No, I've been looking forward to this
for months.
1145
00:52:13,047 --> 00:52:16,134
A wedding is the most incredible day
of any Druid's life.
1146
00:52:16,300 --> 00:52:18,761
Thanks for letting us stay.
Tonight's been awesome.
1147
00:52:18,928 --> 00:52:22,056
You know, I am so glad
that you're enjoying yourselves.
1148
00:52:22,223 --> 00:52:24,559
Not always the case with outsiders.
1149
00:52:24,725 --> 00:52:27,019
How could anyone not love you guys?
1150
00:52:27,186 --> 00:52:31,732
Oh, I don't know. I think they just find
our customs a bit odd and confusing.
1151
00:52:31,899 --> 00:52:33,234
But who are they to judge?
1152
00:52:33,401 --> 00:52:35,611
We're just a little bit different,
that's all.
1153
00:52:35,778 --> 00:52:39,782
And there is nothing wrong
with being a little bit different.
1154
00:52:40,408 --> 00:52:42,535
Yeah, we are normal people, really.
1155
00:52:42,702 --> 00:52:43,828
Dad's a lawyer.
1156
00:52:43,995 --> 00:52:46,414
Sister Mary over there
is a thoracic surgeon.
1157
00:52:46,581 --> 00:52:48,708
- I'm a music manager.
- No way!
1158
00:52:48,875 --> 00:52:50,918
A few of my clients
are playing at the festival.
1159
00:52:51,085 --> 00:52:54,255
TurboChair, Telephone Telephone,
Hammerhead...
1160
00:52:54,422 --> 00:52:56,340
You represent Hammerhead?
He's amazing.
1161
00:52:56,507 --> 00:52:59,719
Yeah? Well, if you like,
you can take these wristbands
1162
00:52:59,886 --> 00:53:01,512
and watch his set from backstage
1163
00:53:01,679 --> 00:53:02,805
and maybe even meet him.
1164
00:53:02,972 --> 00:53:05,016
(whimpers) Are you serious?
1165
00:53:05,183 --> 00:53:07,977
- Anything for a fellow Druid.
- (laughter)
1166
00:53:08,144 --> 00:53:10,229
- (horn)
- The nuptial horn bloweth.
1167
00:53:10,855 --> 00:53:12,940
It's time for the binding ceremony.
1168
00:53:13,107 --> 00:53:14,400
The binding ceremony?
1169
00:53:14,567 --> 00:53:17,695
Yes. It's the most cherished part
of the marriage ritual.
1170
00:53:17,862 --> 00:53:20,156
No union is sacred without it.
1171
00:53:20,323 --> 00:53:22,867
- We're honoured to be a part of this.
- Oh...
1172
00:53:23,034 --> 00:53:25,453
Brothers and Sisters,
1173
00:53:25,620 --> 00:53:31,751
the time has come for Brother David to be
bound to his new wife for all eternity,
1174
00:53:32,501 --> 00:53:34,545
under the light of the moon.
1175
00:53:34,712 --> 00:53:37,215
- (chanting): Ah-oo-wen, Ah-oo-wen...
- Oh, no.
1176
00:53:37,381 --> 00:53:40,843
I've heard about this sort of thing.
I think they're gonna sacrifice the goat.
1177
00:53:41,010 --> 00:53:42,053
Oh, shit.
1178
00:53:42,511 --> 00:53:44,013
Let the binding commence.
1179
00:53:46,265 --> 00:53:48,476
- OK, what's happening now?
- I don't know.
1180
00:53:49,143 --> 00:53:50,978
Brother Julian, what's going on?
1181
00:53:51,145 --> 00:53:53,689
Well, my son is about to be
bound to his new bride.
1182
00:53:53,856 --> 00:53:55,691
Oh, but I thought that was his wife.
1183
00:53:55,858 --> 00:53:57,610
No, no.
1184
00:53:57,777 --> 00:54:00,363
- No, David is marrying the goat.
(chanting): The binding.
1185
00:54:00,529 --> 00:54:02,031
(he grunts)
1186
00:54:02,782 --> 00:54:04,283
- Ooh.
- (bleats)
1187
00:54:04,450 --> 00:54:05,660
- Oh, my God.
- Fucking hell.
1188
00:54:05,826 --> 00:54:08,454
(Druids chant):
The binding, the binding.
1189
00:54:08,621 --> 00:54:10,206
Ooh hoo!
1190
00:54:10,373 --> 00:54:13,668
(Druids chant):
The binding, the binding.
1191
00:54:13,834 --> 00:54:15,920
(moaning)
1192
00:54:16,545 --> 00:54:18,965
It's so fucking great
we can use your car for this.
1193
00:54:19,131 --> 00:54:21,384
What? Thought this was your car.
1194
00:54:21,550 --> 00:54:24,053
- No. I don't have a car.
- Oh.
1195
00:54:24,220 --> 00:54:26,889
Whose car is this?
How did we even get in here?
1196
00:54:27,056 --> 00:54:29,058
- Fuck it. Who cares?
- (laughs)
1197
00:54:29,225 --> 00:54:30,935
You're so naughty.
1198
00:54:31,102 --> 00:54:32,353
- (laughs)
- It's amazing.
1199
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:34,146
Everything's amazing.
1200
00:54:34,313 --> 00:54:36,649
You're sitting on my penis.
That's amazing.
1201
00:54:38,859 --> 00:54:41,237
- I love you.
- I love you too.
1202
00:54:47,159 --> 00:54:48,411
(she cries out)
1203
00:54:48,577 --> 00:54:50,705
(snorts, breathes)
1204
00:54:51,747 --> 00:54:53,833
(groans)
1205
00:54:55,876 --> 00:54:57,253
Shit.
1206
00:55:00,131 --> 00:55:01,549
That's not good.
1207
00:55:04,719 --> 00:55:06,429
(winces)
1208
00:55:11,309 --> 00:55:12,310
(knocks)
1209
00:55:13,269 --> 00:55:15,980
- What the hell are you doing in my car?
- Oh, shit.
1210
00:55:16,147 --> 00:55:17,732
Sorry, sorry.
1211
00:55:17,898 --> 00:55:19,567
Sorry, mate. I'm sorry.
1212
00:55:19,734 --> 00:55:21,652
The car's fine.
1213
00:55:22,695 --> 00:55:25,156
Oh, fuck.
I thought it was her car.
1214
00:55:26,949 --> 00:55:28,284
It was a romantic gesture!
1215
00:55:28,451 --> 00:55:30,161
Oi! Get back here now!
1216
00:55:30,619 --> 00:55:32,413
I'm gonna call the police!
1217
00:55:50,264 --> 00:55:52,600
- Good morning, Amy.
- Good morning, Shane.
1218
00:55:57,688 --> 00:55:59,482
This weather.
1219
00:55:59,648 --> 00:56:01,025
Wind.
1220
00:56:01,192 --> 00:56:03,277
Blow... Blows.
1221
00:56:06,113 --> 00:56:07,907
So last night was pretty weird, wasn't it?
1222
00:56:08,074 --> 00:56:10,659
Oh, my God, it was so weird!
It went on for so long.
1223
00:56:10,826 --> 00:56:13,079
I didn't know it was possible
to have sex for that long.
1224
00:56:13,245 --> 00:56:16,624
I think it's one of those things that
might make a funny anecdote one day.
1225
00:56:16,791 --> 00:56:19,126
Obviously right now,
it's just incredibly horrific.
1226
00:56:19,293 --> 00:56:21,962
Let's just never talk about it ever again.
Take it to our graves.
1227
00:56:22,129 --> 00:56:24,507
Good idea. I'm already taking
12 other things to my grave,
1228
00:56:24,673 --> 00:56:26,133
so I can always add something else.
1229
00:56:27,343 --> 00:56:28,969
Nick, where have you been?
1230
00:56:29,136 --> 00:56:30,262
Are you OK?
1231
00:56:30,429 --> 00:56:32,765
Yeah. Yeah, I'm better than OK.
1232
00:56:32,932 --> 00:56:35,351
I just had the best night
of my entire life.
1233
00:56:35,518 --> 00:56:38,020
I met this... this Smurf.
1234
00:56:38,187 --> 00:56:39,605
It's all a bit of a daze.
1235
00:56:39,772 --> 00:56:41,482
I remember laughing and dancing.
1236
00:56:41,649 --> 00:56:43,317
We definitely had sex.
1237
00:56:43,484 --> 00:56:45,694
- Oh, yeah. I've got this now.
- Holy shit.
1238
00:56:45,861 --> 00:56:46,987
Is that a nipple piercing?
1239
00:56:47,154 --> 00:56:50,366
I've got no idea where that came from.
Also, I don't know where Smurf Girl is.
1240
00:56:50,533 --> 00:56:54,036
- I woke up this morning and she was gone.
- The perfect festival romance.
1241
00:56:54,203 --> 00:56:56,914
She's amazing. I've never felt
that connected to anyone, ever.
1242
00:56:57,081 --> 00:56:58,874
- Been taking drugs?
- She was incredible.
1243
00:56:59,041 --> 00:57:02,378
Like some beautiful, crazy angel.
1244
00:57:02,545 --> 00:57:03,921
Yeah, you've been taking drugs.
1245
00:57:04,088 --> 00:57:06,090
And then... she was gone.
1246
00:57:06,257 --> 00:57:08,008
A Smurf wouldn't be too hard to find.
1247
00:57:08,175 --> 00:57:10,177
Yeah,
I should totally go and try and find her.
1248
00:57:10,344 --> 00:57:12,263
Yes, this is what festivals are all about.
1249
00:57:12,430 --> 00:57:14,014
- Great. Come on, Shane.
- Yeah, cool.
1250
00:57:14,181 --> 00:57:17,184
Although you're not gonna believe this.
We've backstage wristbands.
1251
00:57:17,351 --> 00:57:20,354
So we can see Hammerhead's set up close,
maybe even meet him.
1252
00:57:20,521 --> 00:57:22,606
Really? How'd you manage that?
1253
00:57:23,065 --> 00:57:26,026
Hm. It's not important.
But I really can't miss Hammerhead.
1254
00:57:26,193 --> 00:57:27,820
So maybe we could find Smurf Girl after.
1255
00:57:28,028 --> 00:57:29,447
Hammerhead's not on for eight hours.
1256
00:57:29,613 --> 00:57:31,073
- Nick, I know, but...
- Shane.
1257
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:33,826
You told me I should come here
to get over Caitlin. This is it.
1258
00:57:33,993 --> 00:57:35,369
I have to find this girl.
1259
00:57:35,536 --> 00:57:38,914
I promise we'll see Hammerhead tonight.
I promise.
1260
00:57:41,083 --> 00:57:42,835
Yeah, cool, definitely.
1261
00:57:43,002 --> 00:57:45,504
Woo! Looks like we've got ourselves
a search party.
1262
00:57:45,671 --> 00:57:48,799
(sighs) This is just like the time
my cousin Sandy was kidnapped.
1263
00:57:50,843 --> 00:57:53,512
OK, so the potential love of my life
is somewhere down there.
1264
00:57:53,679 --> 00:57:55,306
- What's the plan?
- I don't wanna brag,
1265
00:57:55,473 --> 00:57:58,267
but I'm something of an expert
when it comes to missing persons.
1266
00:57:58,434 --> 00:58:00,269
I'm a bit of a true crime nut.
1267
00:58:00,436 --> 00:58:02,813
Now, Nick,
I know this is a tough time for you,
1268
00:58:02,980 --> 00:58:04,773
but I need you to describe her genitals.
1269
00:58:04,940 --> 00:58:06,942
She's not missing.
I just don't know where she is.
1270
00:58:07,109 --> 00:58:10,362
- What does she look like?
- Blonde, I think.
1271
00:58:10,905 --> 00:58:13,073
- Sort of a face.
- Sort of face.
1272
00:58:13,824 --> 00:58:16,660
- OK. What's her name?
- I don't know.
1273
00:58:17,036 --> 00:58:17,995
You don't even know her name?
1274
00:58:18,162 --> 00:58:21,749
In cases like this, it's almost always
a jilted lover or a work colleague.
1275
00:58:21,916 --> 00:58:23,542
Did she mention any enemies?
1276
00:58:23,709 --> 00:58:25,711
This isn't a murder investigation.
She's not dead.
1277
00:58:25,878 --> 00:58:27,922
Not yet.
But these first 48 hours are crucial.
1278
00:58:28,088 --> 00:58:30,925
Your piercing. Whoever gave you that
must know about Smurf Girl.
1279
00:58:31,342 --> 00:58:33,844
- Yes, good thinking.
- Our first clue.
1280
00:58:34,011 --> 00:58:35,429
I just hope we're not too late.
1281
00:58:35,596 --> 00:58:37,056
Seriously, you've gotta stop that.
1282
00:58:37,223 --> 00:58:40,518
♪ CHARLI XCX feat. LIL YACHTY:
After The Afterparty
1283
00:58:45,022 --> 00:58:46,398
No.
1284
00:58:49,902 --> 00:58:51,237
- No.
- Sure?
1285
00:58:51,403 --> 00:58:52,446
Yeah.
1286
00:58:53,155 --> 00:58:54,532
Yeah, this one.
1287
00:58:56,617 --> 00:58:59,286
- The scene of the crime.
- We should split up and look for clues.
1288
00:58:59,453 --> 00:59:02,331
Split up? The place is six foot wide.
How are we meant to split up?
1289
00:59:02,498 --> 00:59:07,461
Oi. I said if I caught you nicking again,
I'd pierce your little arseholes closed.
1290
00:59:07,628 --> 00:59:09,588
(laughs) Fuck me. Here he is.
1291
00:59:09,755 --> 00:59:12,007
Do you remember me?
Was I here last night with a girl?
1292
00:59:12,174 --> 00:59:13,926
- With that blue nutter.
- That's her.
1293
00:59:14,093 --> 00:59:17,304
Did she say anything about where she was
going, where she's camping, her name?
1294
00:59:17,471 --> 00:59:20,307
Nah, nah. She was properly spangled.
1295
00:59:20,474 --> 00:59:22,101
And so were you. Do you remember?
1296
00:59:22,268 --> 00:59:25,104
Kept saying your knob's a sausage,
you were gonna cook it and eat it.
1297
00:59:25,271 --> 00:59:26,981
Oh, it was mega lols, innit?
1298
00:59:27,147 --> 00:59:29,942
Maybe you shouldn't give piercings
to people who are off their face.
1299
00:59:32,945 --> 00:59:34,238
What?
1300
00:59:36,156 --> 00:59:39,118
You questioning my professionalism?
Is that what you're doing?
1301
00:59:39,285 --> 00:59:40,828
You cheeky little prick.
1302
00:59:40,995 --> 00:59:45,541
In all my years - three years I've been
tattooing - no one's ever said that to me.
1303
00:59:45,874 --> 00:59:49,545
I would never pierce anyone who was
not in the right frame of mind, all right?
1304
00:59:49,712 --> 00:59:52,256
You already had that shit piercing
when you came in here.
1305
00:59:52,423 --> 00:59:53,716
Oh. Sorry.
1306
00:59:54,550 --> 00:59:58,470
If Nick already had the piercing,
then why would he come here?
1307
00:59:58,637 --> 01:00:01,890
- Because I did his tattoo.
- Oh, right.
1308
01:00:05,352 --> 01:00:06,812
What does it say?
1309
01:00:06,979 --> 01:00:09,189
It says, "My name's not Lick."
1310
01:00:09,356 --> 01:00:10,357
Oh.
1311
01:00:10,524 --> 01:00:12,818
Yeah, you were very insistent about that.
1312
01:00:13,235 --> 01:00:14,528
I like it!
1313
01:00:16,113 --> 01:00:18,490
Great, so I've got a tattoo,
a nipple piercing
1314
01:00:18,657 --> 01:00:20,534
and I'm no closer to finding Smurf Girl.
1315
01:00:20,951 --> 01:00:22,036
Oi, hang on, hang on.
1316
01:00:22,911 --> 01:00:24,997
You did leave this behind.
1317
01:00:39,345 --> 01:00:41,430
Oh, shit.
1318
01:00:47,811 --> 01:00:49,772
You've got a lot of nerve.
1319
01:00:49,938 --> 01:00:51,523
You back to finish off the job?
1320
01:00:51,690 --> 01:00:54,693
- Did I do all this?
- You and that bright blue mentalist.
1321
01:00:54,860 --> 01:00:57,279
The two of you
came running through here at 5am,
1322
01:00:57,446 --> 01:00:58,906
you said you were a Viking army
1323
01:00:59,073 --> 01:01:01,575
and that you were going to pillage
the living shit out of us.
1324
01:01:02,034 --> 01:01:03,285
I am so sorry.
1325
01:01:03,452 --> 01:01:05,788
I was off my head
on some very powerful drugs.
1326
01:01:05,954 --> 01:01:08,957
- Yeah, that was pretty obvious.
- And Gordy's missing.
1327
01:01:09,124 --> 01:01:12,294
Did you fucking steal Gordy?
Cos I swear to God, if you stole Gordy...
1328
01:01:12,461 --> 01:01:14,046
I didn't steal Gordy.
1329
01:01:14,213 --> 01:01:15,464
At least, I don't think I did.
1330
01:01:15,631 --> 01:01:17,549
Hey, look who it is. Genghis Cunt.
1331
01:01:17,716 --> 01:01:19,218
Pirate, I am so, so sorry about this.
1332
01:01:19,385 --> 01:01:22,179
Yeah, well, you should be.
That was some really messed-up shit.
1333
01:01:22,346 --> 01:01:26,600
I know that an apology probably isn't
enough, but I... I brought back your leg.
1334
01:01:27,601 --> 01:01:29,353
That's not my leg.
1335
01:01:30,604 --> 01:01:32,981
- What?
- That is not my leg.
1336
01:01:36,235 --> 01:01:39,071
Oh, Jesus. How many one-legged people
are at this festival?
1337
01:01:39,446 --> 01:01:40,823
Look, what do you want, Nick?
1338
01:01:40,989 --> 01:01:42,783
I'm trying to find that girl I was with.
1339
01:01:42,950 --> 01:01:46,245
I woke up this morning and she was gone.
I don't remember her name or anything
1340
01:01:46,412 --> 01:01:48,747
and I just wondered whether
maybe one of you guys...
1341
01:01:48,914 --> 01:01:51,333
God, this is so typical of you, Nick.
1342
01:01:51,500 --> 01:01:53,293
You've trashed our campsite
1343
01:01:53,460 --> 01:01:55,796
because you were tweaking
on crystal meth or whatever,
1344
01:01:55,963 --> 01:01:58,590
but instead of apologising
or offering to make it right,
1345
01:01:58,757 --> 01:02:00,300
you're just thinking about yourself.
1346
01:02:01,552 --> 01:02:03,762
- I just really need to find her.
- Fuck off, Nick.
1347
01:02:04,221 --> 01:02:06,598
- Yeah, go away.
- You heard 'em, Lick.
1348
01:02:09,476 --> 01:02:11,562
And you better find Gordy.
1349
01:02:12,646 --> 01:02:13,897
I'm hungry. Are you hungry?
1350
01:02:14,064 --> 01:02:15,441
I'm not, because of this.
1351
01:02:16,358 --> 01:02:18,736
- What's that?
- That, my friend, is a Chaffney bar.
1352
01:02:18,902 --> 01:02:20,237
A whole meal's worth of Chaffney
1353
01:02:20,404 --> 01:02:22,698
compressed into a snack
for the gentleman on the go.
1354
01:02:22,865 --> 01:02:24,032
- That's amazing.
- Yeah.
1355
01:02:24,199 --> 01:02:25,909
Been trying to get them into supermarkets.
1356
01:02:26,076 --> 01:02:29,997
So far I've had rejection letters from
Tesco, Sainsbury's, Asda, Morrisons,
1357
01:02:30,164 --> 01:02:33,000
Iceland, the Co-op, Budgens, Lidl
and Poundstretcher.
1358
01:02:33,167 --> 01:02:35,377
But I've got a good feeling
about Waitrose.
1359
01:02:35,544 --> 01:02:37,296
Dude, how'd it go?
1360
01:02:37,463 --> 01:02:39,256
Yeah, it was really great, actually.
1361
01:02:39,423 --> 01:02:41,800
- Really?
- Obviously not. Worst thing ever.
1362
01:02:41,967 --> 01:02:43,594
Worse than your breakdown at graduation?
1363
01:02:43,761 --> 01:02:46,513
Worse than that time you watched
your ex giving a pirate a BJ?
1364
01:02:48,182 --> 01:02:49,767
(sighs)
1365
01:02:49,933 --> 01:02:51,351
I'm such an idiot.
1366
01:02:51,518 --> 01:02:52,770
Why did I think I could be happy?
1367
01:02:52,936 --> 01:02:55,439
I should have accepted some people
aren't meant to be happy
1368
01:02:55,606 --> 01:02:57,691
and I'm one of them.
1369
01:02:59,359 --> 01:03:01,236
- (exhales)
- (sighs)
1370
01:03:01,403 --> 01:03:02,654
Bummer.
1371
01:03:04,948 --> 01:03:06,283
If only you'd fallen for a Minion.
1372
01:03:06,450 --> 01:03:09,453
- I see those blue guys all the time.
- What?
1373
01:03:09,620 --> 01:03:11,580
There's a group of girls
dressed as Minions,
1374
01:03:11,747 --> 01:03:14,666
all painted blue, white hats...
think it's, like, a hen do.
1375
01:03:14,833 --> 01:03:17,711
They're always hanging out
at that cocktail bar down there.
1376
01:03:17,878 --> 01:03:20,172
Nick. Nick!
1377
01:03:20,339 --> 01:03:22,633
♪ So go ahead and prove me right
1378
01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:24,426
♪ Cos that's what girls like
1379
01:03:24,843 --> 01:03:26,011
♪ I know what boys like
1380
01:03:26,178 --> 01:03:27,930
♪ I know what they want
1381
01:03:28,096 --> 01:03:30,182
♪ They want that good thing
- Hi, guys. All right?
1382
01:03:30,349 --> 01:03:31,850
♪ They wanna get some
- How's it going?
1383
01:03:32,017 --> 01:03:33,936
Hi, excuse me.
1384
01:03:34,102 --> 01:03:35,938
Oh, you're not gonna like this.
1385
01:03:36,104 --> 01:03:37,105
- (music stops)
- Oi.
1386
01:03:37,272 --> 01:03:38,482
Oi! What you doing?
1387
01:03:38,649 --> 01:03:42,194
That's really bad. I'm so sorry. Just
really quickly, I'm looking for a Smurf.
1388
01:03:42,361 --> 01:03:43,695
I think she might be with you.
1389
01:03:43,862 --> 01:03:46,156
- Who's asking?
- Sorry, I'm Nick.
1390
01:03:46,323 --> 01:03:47,491
I was with her last night.
1391
01:03:47,658 --> 01:03:50,452
We erm... well, kind of got together,
to be honest.
1392
01:03:52,663 --> 01:03:54,248
I just really need to see her again.
1393
01:03:54,414 --> 01:03:56,542
- Do you have any idea where she might be?
- (laughs)
1394
01:03:56,708 --> 01:03:59,253
Why would I give my mate's number
to some randomer?
1395
01:03:59,419 --> 01:04:00,587
I promise I'm not a stalker.
1396
01:04:00,754 --> 01:04:03,090
I am trying to track her down
and she doesn't know about it
1397
01:04:03,257 --> 01:04:05,300
but once I've found her,
the stalking'll stop.
1398
01:04:05,467 --> 01:04:08,345
- Piss off. Give us back our speaker.
- Can I just have her number?
1399
01:04:08,512 --> 01:04:10,097
- Give it back.
- Can I have her number?
1400
01:04:10,264 --> 01:04:12,641
Hang on, I've got an idea.
1401
01:04:13,350 --> 01:04:15,477
- I'll give you her number...
- Thank you.
1402
01:04:15,644 --> 01:04:17,437
- ..if you show us your dicks.
- What?
1403
01:04:17,771 --> 01:04:19,231
- And arses.
- (laughs)
1404
01:04:19,398 --> 01:04:22,776
This is a hen party
and what the bride wants, the bride gets.
1405
01:04:22,943 --> 01:04:26,780
If you want her number, then you two
need to do us a little striptease.
1406
01:04:26,947 --> 01:04:28,240
Woo! Striptease.
1407
01:04:28,407 --> 01:04:30,075
- Me?
- Yeah, you too, hot stuff.
1408
01:04:30,242 --> 01:04:33,453
Do you really want to see me naked?
I mean, even I don't wanna see me naked.
1409
01:04:33,620 --> 01:04:36,540
Listen, if you two don't get your cocks
out pronto, then it's no deal.
1410
01:04:36,707 --> 01:04:38,375
Can we have a minute?
1411
01:04:41,086 --> 01:04:43,255
OK, so how do you wanna do this?
Do one at a time or together?
1412
01:04:43,422 --> 01:04:45,007
(laughs) Wait. I'm not doing this.
1413
01:04:45,173 --> 01:04:47,342
Mate, come on.
I'm one step away from Smurf Girl.
1414
01:04:47,509 --> 01:04:50,637
We just have to do a quick striptease
and then I get her number. Job done.
1415
01:04:50,804 --> 01:04:53,265
I am not getting my dick out
in front of a load of strangers.
1416
01:04:53,432 --> 01:04:54,808
You once told me that a true friend
1417
01:04:54,975 --> 01:04:57,019
is somebody who'd help you
dispose of a body.
1418
01:04:57,185 --> 01:04:58,645
I'm not even asking you to do that.
1419
01:04:58,812 --> 01:05:03,275
I am just asking you to ex-pose a body,
your body, while I also expose mine.
1420
01:05:03,442 --> 01:05:05,402
SMURF:
We wanna see cocks!
1421
01:05:07,738 --> 01:05:09,072
(chanting):
Off! Off! Off!
1422
01:05:09,239 --> 01:05:11,992
Off! Off! Off! Off! Off! Off!
1423
01:05:12,159 --> 01:05:13,535
(cheering)
1424
01:05:13,702 --> 01:05:16,580
♪ Yes, I can see her
1425
01:05:16,747 --> 01:05:19,082
♪ Cos every girl in here wanna be her
1426
01:05:21,251 --> 01:05:22,878
♪ Oh, she's a diva
1427
01:05:24,254 --> 01:05:26,340
♪ I feel the same and I wanna meet her
1428
01:05:28,634 --> 01:05:31,094
♪ They say she low down
- (laughter)
1429
01:05:31,261 --> 01:05:33,096
♪ It's just a rumour
and I don't believe 'em
1430
01:05:33,263 --> 01:05:35,349
Get them off!
1431
01:05:35,641 --> 01:05:38,936
♪ They say she needs to slow down
1432
01:05:39,394 --> 01:05:42,856
♪ The baddest thing around town
1433
01:05:43,023 --> 01:05:46,485
♪ She's nothing like a girl
you've ever seen before
1434
01:05:46,652 --> 01:05:50,238
♪ Nothing you can compare
to your neighbourhood whore
1435
01:05:50,405 --> 01:05:53,033
♪ I'm trying to find the words
to describe this girl
1436
01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:57,663
- Get 'em off.
♪ Without being disrespectful
1437
01:05:57,829 --> 01:05:59,414
♪ The way that booty movin'
1438
01:05:59,581 --> 01:06:01,333
♪ I can't take no more
1439
01:06:01,500 --> 01:06:02,626
(shrieks)
1440
01:06:02,793 --> 01:06:05,170
- Where'd you learn to do that?
- Saw Magic Mike on a plane.
1441
01:06:05,337 --> 01:06:08,006
♪ I'm trying to find the words
to describe this girl
1442
01:06:08,173 --> 01:06:11,843
♪ Without being disrespectful
1443
01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:13,470
♪ Damn, girl
1444
01:06:13,637 --> 01:06:16,139
♪ Damn, youse a sexy bitch
- (cheering)
1445
01:06:16,306 --> 01:06:17,683
♪ A sexy bitch
1446
01:06:17,849 --> 01:06:19,810
♪ Damn, youse a sexy bitch
1447
01:06:20,018 --> 01:06:21,228
♪ Damn, girl
1448
01:06:21,395 --> 01:06:23,480
♪ Damn, youse a sexy bitch
1449
01:06:23,647 --> 01:06:24,940
♪ A sexy bitch
1450
01:06:25,107 --> 01:06:27,192
♪ Damn, youse a sexy bitch
1451
01:06:27,651 --> 01:06:29,444
♪ Damn, girl
1452
01:06:42,749 --> 01:06:44,668
♪ Yes, I can see her
1453
01:06:44,835 --> 01:06:45,836
(squeals)
1454
01:06:46,003 --> 01:06:47,963
♪ Cos every girl in here wanna be her
1455
01:06:48,130 --> 01:06:49,965
When I see helmets,
you'll get her number.
1456
01:06:50,132 --> 01:06:52,801
♪ Oh, she's a diva
- (chanting): Off! Off! Off!
1457
01:06:53,218 --> 01:06:55,012
- Oh, shit!
♪ I feel the same and I wanna meet her
1458
01:06:55,178 --> 01:06:57,097
(Smurfs chanting):
Off! Off! Off!
1459
01:06:57,514 --> 01:06:59,599
♪ They say she low down
1460
01:06:59,766 --> 01:07:00,809
(screaming)
1461
01:07:02,019 --> 01:07:04,563
♪ Well, come on, little mama
1462
01:07:04,730 --> 01:07:07,232
- Let me put on my pants.
♪ Let's tear this damn place up
1463
01:07:07,816 --> 01:07:10,736
♪ Come on, little mama,
let's tear this damn place up
1464
01:07:12,154 --> 01:07:14,114
♪ Come on, little mama,
let me see you do your stuff
1465
01:07:14,322 --> 01:07:16,033
What's her number? What's her name?
1466
01:07:16,867 --> 01:07:18,660
♪ Tear it up, up-up-up-up
1467
01:07:18,952 --> 01:07:20,787
♪ Tear it up, up-up-up-up
1468
01:07:20,954 --> 01:07:22,748
SMURF:
Give me back me phone, you prick!
1469
01:07:22,914 --> 01:07:25,417
♪ Tear it up
1470
01:07:25,584 --> 01:07:28,211
♪ Come on, little mama,
tear this damn place up
1471
01:07:28,378 --> 01:07:31,757
♪ Yeah, move back, baby, turn my way
1472
01:07:32,174 --> 01:07:33,550
♪ Turn around again and let me hear ya say
1473
01:07:33,717 --> 01:07:35,385
♪ Tear it up!
1474
01:07:35,844 --> 01:07:37,721
♪ Tear it up!
1475
01:07:37,888 --> 01:07:41,516
♪ Come on, little mama,
and tear this damn place up
1476
01:07:42,350 --> 01:07:44,686
♪ Tear it up, up-up-up-up
1477
01:07:44,853 --> 01:07:46,938
♪ Tear it up, up-up-up-up-up
1478
01:07:48,899 --> 01:07:50,984
♪ Tear it up
1479
01:07:51,401 --> 01:07:54,071
♪ Come on, little mama,
tear this damn place up
1480
01:07:54,946 --> 01:07:56,948
♪ Tear it up, up-up-up-up
1481
01:07:57,407 --> 01:07:59,242
♪ Tear it up, up-up-up-up
1482
01:07:59,409 --> 01:08:01,161
♪ Tear it up
1483
01:08:01,661 --> 01:08:03,747
♪ Tear it up
- Oh, shit.
1484
01:08:04,247 --> 01:08:06,917
♪ Come on, little mama,
tear this damn place up
1485
01:08:07,084 --> 01:08:08,502
(a child screams)
1486
01:08:08,668 --> 01:08:10,128
Sorry, don't look at my penis.
1487
01:08:11,588 --> 01:08:13,548
Pull that again
and I'll fucking Taser you.
1488
01:08:13,715 --> 01:08:16,968
Stop! They haven't done anything wrong.
He's trying to find his girlfriend.
1489
01:08:17,177 --> 01:08:19,888
Well, not his girlfriend.
Just some blue rando he fucked in a car.
1490
01:08:20,097 --> 01:08:21,890
You can't do this. We're the train gang.
1491
01:08:22,099 --> 01:08:25,268
- You can't break up the train gang.
- Amy, please, stop.
1492
01:08:25,435 --> 01:08:27,437
We're not a gang.
We're not even your friends.
1493
01:08:27,604 --> 01:08:30,607
- Hey, she's just trying to help.
- Well, she's not helping, OK?
1494
01:08:49,626 --> 01:08:50,961
Know how long we're gonna be here?
1495
01:08:51,211 --> 01:08:52,838
Just sit tight.
1496
01:08:55,632 --> 01:08:57,425
I can't believe that guy
called the police.
1497
01:08:57,592 --> 01:08:59,845
People who go to festivals
are meant to be chilled out.
1498
01:09:00,011 --> 01:09:02,639
It was just a couple of scratches.
I was gonna leave a note.
1499
01:09:02,806 --> 01:09:04,891
Plus we were so close
to finding Smurf Girl.
1500
01:09:05,100 --> 01:09:07,769
Do you think I could find her on Facebook?
1501
01:09:07,936 --> 01:09:09,896
If her profile pic is her as a Smurf...
1502
01:09:10,105 --> 01:09:11,898
- Shut up, Nick.
- What?
1503
01:09:12,065 --> 01:09:14,776
Just shut up. I don't wanna hear
any more about Smurf Girl.
1504
01:09:14,985 --> 01:09:16,111
What?
1505
01:09:16,319 --> 01:09:18,321
You realise we're gonna miss
Hammerhead's set now?
1506
01:09:18,530 --> 01:09:19,906
That's why you're upset?
1507
01:09:20,073 --> 01:09:22,409
Cos you don't get to see
some twat in a mask press play?
1508
01:09:22,617 --> 01:09:25,412
Seeing Hammerhead was the one thing
I wanted to do this weekend.
1509
01:09:25,579 --> 01:09:27,330
You promised me we'd see him.
1510
01:09:27,497 --> 01:09:30,041
Right now I could be hanging out with him,
discussing beats.
1511
01:09:30,208 --> 01:09:32,335
Instead I'm stuck in here
and it's all your fault.
1512
01:09:32,544 --> 01:09:35,046
- My fault?
- You're the reason we're in here.
1513
01:09:35,255 --> 01:09:39,259
You're the one who made us spend all day
chasing after some fantasy girl.
1514
01:09:39,426 --> 01:09:42,721
- You're the one who made me get naked.
- I'm the one who should be complaining.
1515
01:09:42,888 --> 01:09:46,683
I've had my nipple pierced, I've got a
fucking mental tattoo all over my arse
1516
01:09:46,892 --> 01:09:50,520
and now I have to sit here listening to
you bang on about some bullshit DJ
1517
01:09:50,729 --> 01:09:52,314
no normal human being gives a toss about.
1518
01:09:52,480 --> 01:09:55,358
The other guys were right.
You're so... Nickish.
1519
01:09:55,525 --> 01:09:56,985
Nickish? What does that mean?
1520
01:09:57,194 --> 01:09:59,905
I defended you when everyone
said you're a bell-end.
1521
01:10:00,113 --> 01:10:01,531
But they're right.
1522
01:10:01,698 --> 01:10:03,909
You're annoying, and selfish.
1523
01:10:04,117 --> 01:10:05,785
And you don't
care about anyone else
1524
01:10:05,952 --> 01:10:08,371
because you're too wrapped up
in your own pointless shit.
1525
01:10:08,538 --> 01:10:09,956
You think everything I do is stupid.
1526
01:10:10,165 --> 01:10:12,959
And you were mean to Amy,
who, by the way, is awesome
1527
01:10:13,126 --> 01:10:14,794
and a much nicer person than you.
1528
01:10:15,003 --> 01:10:16,922
Such a Nick.
1529
01:10:17,088 --> 01:10:20,508
I'm not gonna sit here
and be insulted with my own name.
1530
01:10:20,675 --> 01:10:22,469
Sit down!
1531
01:10:25,555 --> 01:10:27,224
Can I make a phone call, please?
1532
01:10:27,432 --> 01:10:29,309
(sniffs)
1533
01:10:29,517 --> 01:10:33,855
♪ You show the lights that stop me
turn to stone
1534
01:10:34,022 --> 01:10:37,275
♪ You shine it when I'm alone
1535
01:10:37,442 --> 01:10:40,278
♪ And so I tell myself that...
1536
01:10:42,989 --> 01:10:44,366
Hello, hello.
1537
01:10:45,617 --> 01:10:47,535
I'm busting you out.
Come on, let's go. Come on.
1538
01:10:47,702 --> 01:10:50,372
I'm joking. I've been through
all of the appropriate channels
1539
01:10:50,538 --> 01:10:52,290
and they've let you off with a caution.
1540
01:10:53,667 --> 01:10:55,418
(whispers):
Did they mistreat you, Shane?
1541
01:10:56,753 --> 01:10:59,214
(whispers):
OK. Let's get you boys home.
1542
01:11:04,386 --> 01:11:05,720
(mouths)
1543
01:11:16,106 --> 01:11:18,191
(tapping continues)
1544
01:11:35,208 --> 01:11:38,878
Now, who's gonna join me to get
some snackeroonies for the road?
1545
01:11:40,672 --> 01:11:42,465
You're not coming?
1546
01:11:42,632 --> 01:11:43,717
Come on.
1547
01:11:43,883 --> 01:11:45,969
- I'll buy you a hot choccy.
- No.
1548
01:11:46,928 --> 01:11:49,389
I've never heard you turn down
a hot choccy.
1549
01:11:56,354 --> 01:11:59,566
Is everything all right with Shane?
He doesn't seem his usual chirpy self.
1550
01:11:59,774 --> 01:12:02,694
He's a bit annoyed cos he's missing
a set by this DJ he loves.
1551
01:12:02,986 --> 01:12:03,987
Hammerhead?
1552
01:12:04,154 --> 01:12:06,364
- Do you know him?
- No, but Shane talks about him a lot.
1553
01:12:06,531 --> 01:12:09,367
Not to me, obviously. To others.
1554
01:12:09,576 --> 01:12:11,453
Yeah, well, I guess I kind of messed up.
1555
01:12:11,619 --> 01:12:14,247
We got kicked out
and now he doesn't get to meet his hero
1556
01:12:14,456 --> 01:12:16,082
and it's basically all my fault.
1557
01:12:16,333 --> 01:12:17,625
He's right, I am a dick.
1558
01:12:17,834 --> 01:12:19,044
So you're a dick.
1559
01:12:19,210 --> 01:12:20,545
So what? That's not a big deal.
1560
01:12:20,754 --> 01:12:23,214
- What?
- I mean, look at Gandhi.
1561
01:12:23,423 --> 01:12:26,885
He was a real knob to his wife
and actually he was quite racist,
1562
01:12:27,052 --> 01:12:30,680
but still a cool person
and my personal hero.
1563
01:12:31,723 --> 01:12:35,435
Or Lance Armstrong.
Yes, he was a cheat, he was a bully.
1564
01:12:35,602 --> 01:12:39,731
But he's raised a lot of money for charity
and he's also got a great podcast.
1565
01:12:40,482 --> 01:12:42,942
So, yeah, you might have
made a few dick moves,
1566
01:12:43,109 --> 01:12:46,446
but being a dick doesn't necessarily
make you a bad person.
1567
01:12:47,864 --> 01:12:49,949
That's something you have to remember.
1568
01:12:52,077 --> 01:12:54,412
- What time is it?
- 7:06.
1569
01:12:54,621 --> 01:12:56,831
Thanks. Thanks, Robin.
1570
01:12:58,541 --> 01:13:00,168
(sighs)
1571
01:13:00,335 --> 01:13:03,254
- What're you doing?
- I'm getting you to that Hammerhead gig.
1572
01:13:03,463 --> 01:13:06,257
- What?
- You're right. I've been a selfish idiot.
1573
01:13:06,466 --> 01:13:09,344
I've made this whole weekend about me.
And I'm sorry.
1574
01:13:09,886 --> 01:13:11,638
We are seeing Hammerhead.
1575
01:13:11,805 --> 01:13:13,139
OK.
1576
01:13:13,348 --> 01:13:16,017
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
What about Robin?
1577
01:13:16,393 --> 01:13:18,353
Do you wanna see Hammerhead or not?
1578
01:13:18,520 --> 01:13:20,605
Ah, Robin'll be fine. Let's go.
1579
01:13:21,106 --> 01:13:22,273
Taken my car, the dick.
1580
01:13:22,482 --> 01:13:24,484
♪ MILES KANE:
Too Little Too Late
1581
01:13:24,943 --> 01:13:27,404
♪ Give me something for the guillotine
1582
01:13:27,570 --> 01:13:29,823
♪ Give me something for your heart
1583
01:13:29,989 --> 01:13:32,826
♪ Give me something
for the best days of us
1584
01:13:32,992 --> 01:13:35,954
- (Welsh accent): All right, bud?
- Yep, this is the place.
1585
01:13:38,164 --> 01:13:39,916
- Psst.
- Amy.
1586
01:13:40,125 --> 01:13:41,418
Hey, Shane.
(cold): Hello, Nick.
1587
01:13:41,793 --> 01:13:43,503
Hello, Amy.
Thank you for agreeing to help us.
1588
01:13:43,753 --> 01:13:45,130
I agreed to help Shane.
1589
01:13:45,296 --> 01:13:46,840
It's just sad you come as a pair.
1590
01:13:47,048 --> 01:13:49,801
Amy, please, I'm really, really sorry.
We're the train gang.
1591
01:13:50,009 --> 01:13:52,220
- Oh, are we?
- Yeah.
1592
01:13:52,387 --> 01:13:54,389
In that case, you'll know
what noise a train makes.
1593
01:13:54,597 --> 01:13:56,433
- Choo-choo?
- Do it properly.
1594
01:13:56,599 --> 01:13:58,143
There are security around.
1595
01:13:58,309 --> 01:14:00,395
So you'd better hurry up
and make a train noise.
1596
01:14:00,603 --> 01:14:02,564
- Choo-choo.
- Louder.
1597
01:14:02,730 --> 01:14:04,315
- Choo-choo!
- Do the arms.
1598
01:14:04,566 --> 01:14:06,568
Choo-choo-choo. Ch-ch-ch...
1599
01:14:06,776 --> 01:14:09,487
- Choo-choo!
- Shovel some coal.
1600
01:14:10,280 --> 01:14:11,865
Uh-oh.
There's another train coming.
1601
01:14:12,073 --> 01:14:13,491
(mimics train horn)
1602
01:14:13,700 --> 01:14:17,745
(mimics hiss of steam)
Choo-choo, choo-choo...
1603
01:14:17,912 --> 01:14:21,332
Amy, we're in a bit of a rush,
so can we...?
1604
01:14:21,499 --> 01:14:24,419
For you, not him.
We're still not friends.
1605
01:14:25,462 --> 01:14:26,629
OK, so this is what you do.
1606
01:14:26,796 --> 01:14:30,884
You climb... over the fence.
1607
01:14:31,217 --> 01:14:32,343
- Oh, that's it?
- Yeah.
1608
01:14:32,510 --> 01:14:34,929
Taff could bunk you over,
but he charges for it.
1609
01:14:35,096 --> 01:14:36,848
I'll look out for security.
1610
01:14:45,899 --> 01:14:48,568
- (Nick grunts)
- Come on, Nick!
1611
01:14:48,776 --> 01:14:50,904
Nick, what are you waiting for? Jump.
1612
01:14:51,112 --> 01:14:52,155
OK, I've just...
1613
01:14:52,322 --> 01:14:53,948
My nipple ring is caught.
1614
01:14:54,115 --> 01:14:56,159
If you lift me up, I can get it off.
1615
01:14:59,412 --> 01:15:00,788
Agh.
1616
01:15:08,296 --> 01:15:10,298
Right, I've nearly got it.
1617
01:15:11,758 --> 01:15:13,343
Oh, shit, I think someone's coming.
1618
01:15:13,551 --> 01:15:14,802
(screams)
1619
01:15:15,011 --> 01:15:17,096
(cries out in agony)
1620
01:15:17,847 --> 01:15:19,557
Oh, phew. It was nothing. My bad.
1621
01:15:20,058 --> 01:15:22,018
- Let's go.
- (gasps)
1622
01:15:22,227 --> 01:15:24,062
(crowd chants):
Hammerhead! Hammerhead!
1623
01:15:24,270 --> 01:15:27,023
Hammerhead! Hammerhead!
1624
01:15:27,273 --> 01:15:29,359
(chanting continues)
1625
01:15:33,154 --> 01:15:34,447
- Shit.
- Oh, well.
1626
01:15:34,614 --> 01:15:36,699
- I need to see the doctor, please.
- Sure you do, mate.
1627
01:15:36,908 --> 01:15:38,284
Oh, can I just show you that?
1628
01:15:38,451 --> 01:15:39,953
Jesus Christ.
1629
01:15:40,286 --> 01:15:42,705
- In you go.
- Thank you.
1630
01:15:42,914 --> 01:15:45,291
- The backstage entrance is up here.
- I'm in a lot of pain.
1631
01:15:45,542 --> 01:15:47,669
- Do I look shocked?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1632
01:15:47,835 --> 01:15:49,170
Lick, what the fuck are you doing?
1633
01:15:49,379 --> 01:15:51,673
Mate, can we come in?
We had wristbands but lost them.
1634
01:15:51,881 --> 01:15:53,758
- No wristbands, no entry.
- Please, Pirate.
1635
01:15:53,925 --> 01:15:57,428
I wish there was something I could do.
I mean, there is, but I'm not gonna do it.
1636
01:15:57,637 --> 01:15:59,597
Brother David!
1637
01:15:59,764 --> 01:16:02,183
Oh, Shane!
1638
01:16:02,392 --> 01:16:04,018
Amy.
1639
01:16:05,645 --> 01:16:07,397
- Hi.
- Hi.
1640
01:16:07,605 --> 01:16:09,732
- How do you know Hammerhead's manager?
- Oh...
1641
01:16:09,899 --> 01:16:11,609
W... T-The...
1642
01:16:11,776 --> 01:16:13,319
- The... Ooh...
- Oh.
1643
01:16:13,486 --> 01:16:14,612
- We... erm...
- Erm...
1644
01:16:14,779 --> 01:16:15,989
Er...
1645
01:16:16,197 --> 01:16:18,074
Well, fuck... erm...
1646
01:16:18,992 --> 01:16:21,077
- We...
- What did...
1647
01:16:21,244 --> 01:16:22,328
We...
1648
01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:26,207
- We all like soup.
- Yep.
1649
01:16:26,833 --> 01:16:28,042
Exactly.
1650
01:16:28,835 --> 01:16:31,462
- You guys coming in?
- We're trying. But this guy won't let us.
1651
01:16:31,671 --> 01:16:33,631
What? Don't be silly. Come in.
1652
01:16:33,798 --> 01:16:35,842
These guys are with Hammerhead.
1653
01:16:37,677 --> 01:16:39,012
(chuckles)
1654
01:16:39,220 --> 01:16:41,973
We've got a bar there.
They serve beer, everything.
1655
01:16:42,140 --> 01:16:44,976
- Thanks, Brother David.
- Ooh.
1656
01:16:45,143 --> 01:16:47,103
It's just David around here.
1657
01:16:47,645 --> 01:16:50,440
- Hammerhead hasn't been on yet, has he?
- Mmm, not yet, no.
1658
01:16:50,607 --> 01:16:52,191
His trailer's there. Wanna say hello?
1659
01:16:52,400 --> 01:16:54,694
- Nothing in the world I want more.
- Yes, please.
1660
01:16:54,861 --> 01:16:58,531
- I should probably go and clean this up.
- Oh, my God. What is that?
1661
01:16:59,824 --> 01:17:00,992
Oh, nothing.
1662
01:17:01,159 --> 01:17:03,161
Just a massive hole
where my nipple used to be.
1663
01:17:03,369 --> 01:17:04,829
Yeah, we should get you to a doctor.
1664
01:17:04,996 --> 01:17:07,373
No, no, I'll go on my own.
You go and meet Hammerhead.
1665
01:17:07,540 --> 01:17:10,543
- Are you sure?
- Yes. He's your hero. You've gotta go.
1666
01:17:11,294 --> 01:17:13,087
- Thanks, Nick.
- Argh!
1667
01:17:13,421 --> 01:17:14,839
- Please.
- Oh, sorry. Sorry.
1668
01:17:15,006 --> 01:17:17,091
OK, let's go. Hammerhead awaits.
1669
01:17:18,259 --> 01:17:20,345
♪ BALOJI:
Soleil De Volt
1670
01:17:33,900 --> 01:17:35,109
(knock at door)
1671
01:17:35,276 --> 01:17:36,861
Just me.
1672
01:17:37,028 --> 01:17:38,738
David, what's going on?
1673
01:17:38,905 --> 01:17:40,948
I was supposed to
start my set an hour ago.
1674
01:17:41,324 --> 01:17:43,242
Er...yeah,
they're a little bit behind schedule.
1675
01:17:43,409 --> 01:17:45,662
But the good news is
that you'll be on soon.
1676
01:17:45,828 --> 01:17:48,164
Anyway, couple of fans
wanted to say hello.
1677
01:17:48,331 --> 01:17:51,167
Hi. It's an absolute honour,
Mr Hammerhead.
1678
01:17:51,334 --> 01:17:53,211
- Hello. I love you.
- Cheers.
1679
01:17:53,378 --> 01:17:56,506
If we're not going on now, could you
get me some proper food? I'm starving.
1680
01:17:56,756 --> 01:17:58,383
Yeah, I could sort something out.
1681
01:18:00,593 --> 01:18:02,261
Now? Yeah.
1682
01:18:03,763 --> 01:18:06,224
Hey, if you're feeling peckish,
I've got just the thing.
1683
01:18:06,391 --> 01:18:08,935
It's a Chaffney bar.
It'll fill you right up.
1684
01:18:09,102 --> 01:18:10,269
Chaffney?
1685
01:18:10,436 --> 01:18:13,523
- What the fuck is Chaffney?
- It's delicious. You'll love it.
1686
01:18:13,690 --> 01:18:15,775
Go on, then.
1687
01:18:18,986 --> 01:18:20,613
- Mm.
- Not bad, eh?
1688
01:18:20,780 --> 01:18:23,491
- This is actually pretty good.
- (sighs)
1689
01:18:23,658 --> 01:18:27,453
If only my Great-Grandmami Agnes
knew that one day a superstar DJ
1690
01:18:27,620 --> 01:18:28,996
would tuck into her Chaffney.
1691
01:18:29,163 --> 01:18:31,124
She wouldn't know
what a superstar DJ was.
1692
01:18:31,290 --> 01:18:33,751
She lived in a treehouse
and had tennis rackets for shoes.
1693
01:18:33,918 --> 01:18:35,628
She was quite seriously mentally ill.
1694
01:18:35,837 --> 01:18:37,130
I've just gotta say...
1695
01:18:37,296 --> 01:18:39,048
I love everything you've ever done.
1696
01:18:39,215 --> 01:18:41,467
Is it true that you once
had a drop so powerful
1697
01:18:41,634 --> 01:18:43,845
that it killed someone on the dancefloor?
1698
01:18:44,011 --> 01:18:45,763
That was just a coincidence.
1699
01:18:47,181 --> 01:18:49,809
- Got me trending on Twitter, though.
- (laughs)
1700
01:18:50,143 --> 01:18:51,686
- (laughs)
- (chuckles)
1701
01:18:51,853 --> 01:18:53,146
Oh, that's amazing.
1702
01:18:53,312 --> 01:18:56,399
You know, I actually write music too.
D-Do you wanna hear some?
1703
01:18:56,566 --> 01:18:58,651
I've got some tracks on my phone.
1704
01:19:00,486 --> 01:19:02,572
(pounding repetitive dance beat)
1705
01:19:10,455 --> 01:19:13,166
♪ Loving, you give me nothing
1706
01:19:13,332 --> 01:19:17,086
♪ Till I'm black and blue inside
1707
01:19:17,628 --> 01:19:21,549
♪ You keep me falling,
but I'm going all in
1708
01:19:21,716 --> 01:19:24,927
♪ Cos I still want you tonight...
1709
01:19:25,094 --> 01:19:26,679
Holy shit.
1710
01:19:57,794 --> 01:19:58,836
(screams)
1711
01:20:04,091 --> 01:20:06,177
(children yelling)
1712
01:20:15,770 --> 01:20:17,855
(phone buzzes)
1713
01:20:24,612 --> 01:20:27,198
After everything!
I've just wasted all my fucking life!
1714
01:20:27,365 --> 01:20:29,700
- ..if you go through someone's phone.
- Fucking Minions.
1715
01:20:29,867 --> 01:20:31,244
How long's it been going on?
1716
01:20:31,410 --> 01:20:33,371
How long has it been fucking going on?
1717
01:20:46,259 --> 01:20:47,885
Order!
1718
01:20:49,554 --> 01:20:50,680
Order!
1719
01:20:53,766 --> 01:20:55,476
Hey.
1720
01:20:55,643 --> 01:20:57,019
Hi.
1721
01:20:57,770 --> 01:20:59,522
I have been looking for you all day.
1722
01:21:00,064 --> 01:21:03,025
- OK. Why?
- It's me, Nick.
1723
01:21:03,192 --> 01:21:06,070
You hid in my tent.
We had sex in a car.
1724
01:21:07,488 --> 01:21:09,031
Last night.
1725
01:21:09,198 --> 01:21:10,658
Oh, my God!
1726
01:21:10,825 --> 01:21:13,077
Car Dude. (laughs)
1727
01:21:13,244 --> 01:21:15,454
- How have you been, man?
- OK, yeah.
1728
01:21:15,621 --> 01:21:17,373
Er... Mostly been looking for you.
1729
01:21:17,540 --> 01:21:19,500
Last night was fun.
1730
01:21:19,667 --> 01:21:21,168
Fucking fun.
1731
01:21:21,335 --> 01:21:23,170
Oh, my God,
I can barely remember anything.
1732
01:21:23,337 --> 01:21:26,257
- I was so fucked.
- Me too. (laughs)
1733
01:21:28,342 --> 01:21:31,846
So, listen, do you wanna,
like, get a drink or...?
1734
01:21:32,513 --> 01:21:33,806
Er... No, thanks.
1735
01:21:34,932 --> 01:21:35,892
What?
1736
01:21:36,058 --> 01:21:38,603
I don't wanna get a drink with you.
1737
01:21:39,645 --> 01:21:41,564
Oh. OK, cool.
1738
01:21:43,316 --> 01:21:44,692
Yeah, that's...
1739
01:21:44,859 --> 01:21:46,235
That's fine.
1740
01:21:46,402 --> 01:21:47,403
OK.
1741
01:21:47,570 --> 01:21:49,405
That's all from me.
1742
01:21:50,114 --> 01:21:51,908
Erm... See... See you. That's it.
1743
01:21:52,617 --> 01:21:53,618
See ya.
1744
01:22:00,082 --> 01:22:02,501
So with this one, I was trying to
mess around with, like,
1745
01:22:02,668 --> 01:22:05,004
- a crunchier baseline, you know?
- (strong bassline)
1746
01:22:05,171 --> 01:22:07,423
I think maybe five songs
is probably enough for now.
1747
01:22:07,590 --> 01:22:09,008
Sure. Sure.
1748
01:22:09,175 --> 01:22:10,760
- I'll play you the rest later.
- Yeah.
1749
01:22:10,927 --> 01:22:12,762
Where the fuck is David?
I feel a bit weird.
1750
01:22:12,929 --> 01:22:15,014
- You do look a bit clammy.
- Yeah.
1751
01:22:15,181 --> 01:22:17,224
I don't feel good. I feel quite unusual.
1752
01:22:17,391 --> 01:22:19,101
I need to get up, actually.
1753
01:22:19,268 --> 01:22:20,853
Oh, my God.
1754
01:22:21,020 --> 01:22:22,688
(exhales)
1755
01:22:22,855 --> 01:22:23,856
Yeah.
1756
01:22:24,023 --> 01:22:25,358
Oh, yeah.
1757
01:22:25,524 --> 01:22:27,485
I feel weird.
1758
01:22:27,652 --> 01:22:29,654
(he hyperventilates)
1759
01:22:32,114 --> 01:22:33,282
Oh, God.
1760
01:22:34,659 --> 01:22:38,079
Can I ask you a question?
There's no shellfish in this, is there?
1761
01:22:38,245 --> 01:22:40,039
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
- Oh, great.
1762
01:22:40,206 --> 01:22:42,249
There is a lot of crabmeat
but no shellfish.
1763
01:22:43,000 --> 01:22:44,752
I'm fucking allergic to shellfish.
1764
01:22:45,336 --> 01:22:46,754
Oh, my God.
1765
01:22:46,921 --> 01:22:50,341
I've gotta get this out of me.
I've gotta get this out of me! Oh!
1766
01:22:50,508 --> 01:22:51,592
- OK, Hammerhead?
- (gags)
1767
01:22:51,759 --> 01:22:54,220
I'm so sorry.
My Chaffney's never hurt anyone before.
1768
01:22:54,387 --> 01:22:56,055
(vomits)
1769
01:22:56,889 --> 01:22:58,474
What's all the noise? What's going on?
1770
01:22:58,641 --> 01:23:01,185
Hammerhead was hungry.
I gave him one of my Chaffney bars.
1771
01:23:01,352 --> 01:23:02,895
Now he's having an allergic reaction.
1772
01:23:03,062 --> 01:23:04,897
- Shit. Is he all right?
- I'm sure he'll be OK.
1773
01:23:05,064 --> 01:23:06,565
- Is it bad?
- Oh, my God!
1774
01:23:06,732 --> 01:23:07,984
- Holy shit!
Fuck!
1775
01:23:09,402 --> 01:23:10,820
- Let me see.
- No, no, no, no.
1776
01:23:10,987 --> 01:23:13,197
- No, no. Sit down. Sit down.
- (knock at door)
1777
01:23:13,364 --> 01:23:14,865
Hammerhead, we're ready for you.
1778
01:23:15,032 --> 01:23:17,576
- Oh, shit.
- It's fine. The mask will cover it.
1779
01:23:19,787 --> 01:23:20,871
- (groans)
- It won't go on.
1780
01:23:21,038 --> 01:23:22,206
Mr Hammerhead?
1781
01:23:22,373 --> 01:23:24,250
Oh, Jesus, erm...
1782
01:23:24,417 --> 01:23:25,835
(gasps)
1783
01:23:26,002 --> 01:23:27,378
- That's not good.
- EpiPen.
1784
01:23:27,545 --> 01:23:28,629
- What?
- Get me an EpiPen.
1785
01:23:28,796 --> 01:23:30,047
- Excuse me?
- The EpiPen.
1786
01:23:30,214 --> 01:23:32,133
- What's he saying?
- Pen? He wants a pen?
1787
01:23:32,299 --> 01:23:33,467
THE PIRATE:
Hammerhead?
1788
01:23:33,634 --> 01:23:35,511
There's something in the bag.
1789
01:23:35,678 --> 01:23:37,680
- Allergy pen.
- Yes!
1790
01:23:38,139 --> 01:23:39,306
- It's OK.
- Get him on the floor!
1791
01:23:39,473 --> 01:23:41,392
- OK, OK.
- That's it.
1792
01:23:41,559 --> 01:23:43,227
- Hold him down.
- Whoo.
1793
01:23:43,394 --> 01:23:45,980
- I'm gonna pierce the breast plate.
- No, no, no, my thigh.
1794
01:23:46,147 --> 01:23:48,232
Put it in my thigh.
1795
01:23:48,607 --> 01:23:50,317
- One...
- No...
1796
01:23:50,484 --> 01:23:51,986
- No!
- Two...
1797
01:23:52,153 --> 01:23:54,238
(wails)
1798
01:23:54,822 --> 01:23:56,615
Three!
1799
01:23:59,535 --> 01:24:01,120
- Did it work?
- No.
1800
01:24:01,287 --> 01:24:02,788
- (knock at door)
- Mr Hammerhead?
1801
01:24:02,955 --> 01:24:04,081
- What we gonna do?
- You go on.
1802
01:24:04,248 --> 01:24:05,332
- What?
- Put on the mask
1803
01:24:05,499 --> 01:24:06,709
and pretend to be Hammerhead.
1804
01:24:06,876 --> 01:24:09,253
- I can't do that.
- Yes, you can. You know all his tunes.
1805
01:24:09,420 --> 01:24:10,921
- You OK?
- We have to do something.
1806
01:24:11,088 --> 01:24:12,798
Look. Hammerhead wants you to do it.
1807
01:24:12,965 --> 01:24:14,925
- (mumbles): No.
- I think he does.
1808
01:24:15,092 --> 01:24:16,135
- (moans)
- He's a pro.
1809
01:24:16,302 --> 01:24:18,679
He doesn't wanna let the crowd down.
He knows you can do it.
1810
01:24:18,846 --> 01:24:21,849
I need to be sure.
Hammerhead, shall I go out there?
1811
01:24:22,016 --> 01:24:23,184
Shall I pretend to be you?
1812
01:24:23,559 --> 01:24:24,852
(mumbles):
No fucking way.
1813
01:24:26,187 --> 01:24:27,563
Let's do this.
1814
01:24:30,024 --> 01:24:32,109
(whimpering from inside)
1815
01:24:33,903 --> 01:24:36,405
Hey, Hammerhead!
It's an honour to finally meet you.
1816
01:24:36,864 --> 01:24:38,657
You all set?
1817
01:24:39,366 --> 01:24:40,743
Oh, yeah, good to go.
1818
01:24:41,202 --> 01:24:42,578
Wait, Lick. You're coming?
1819
01:24:43,037 --> 01:24:44,413
Yeah, he said I could
watch from the wings.
1820
01:24:44,580 --> 01:24:46,916
OK, whatever.
Right this way, sir.
1821
01:24:49,835 --> 01:24:51,420
I can do this, right?
1822
01:24:51,754 --> 01:24:52,797
I can do this, yeah.
1823
01:24:52,963 --> 01:24:56,008
OK. Just gotta be Hammerhead.
Just gotta be Hammerhead. It's easy.
1824
01:24:56,467 --> 01:25:00,387
(crowd chants):
Hammerhead! Hammerhead! Hammerhead!
1825
01:25:00,846 --> 01:25:01,889
Hammerhead!
1826
01:25:03,265 --> 01:25:05,184
Hammerhead, man, you know.
1827
01:25:05,351 --> 01:25:07,061
Wahgwan, my G.
1828
01:25:08,354 --> 01:25:10,523
Give me some love.
What's going on with you guys?
1829
01:25:10,689 --> 01:25:13,567
Something's wrong. You're moving
like an imposter fish right now.
1830
01:25:15,194 --> 01:25:16,320
You OK, Mr Hammerhead?
1831
01:25:16,779 --> 01:25:19,490
- (whispers): Nick, Nick.
- He's lost his voice.
1832
01:25:19,949 --> 01:25:21,867
- You know the thing.
- Also, he's got a tender wrist.
1833
01:25:22,326 --> 01:25:24,120
Too much of this.
1834
01:25:27,915 --> 01:25:29,834
Scratching. I didn't mean wanking.
1835
01:25:30,292 --> 01:25:32,795
You're moving kinky, blud.
I'm done. I'm gone.
1836
01:25:32,962 --> 01:25:34,797
All right, the riser's down there.
1837
01:25:34,964 --> 01:25:37,383
- Have a good show.
- OK. Thanks for the directions.
1838
01:25:37,550 --> 01:25:39,468
- Shit, shit.
- Shane, you've done it.
1839
01:25:39,927 --> 01:25:43,055
I don't know. I've met Hammerhead.
That's all I wanted. This is scary.
1840
01:25:43,222 --> 01:25:46,433
Fear is just your body telling you
not to do something dangerous.
1841
01:25:46,600 --> 01:25:47,685
That doesn't make sense.
1842
01:25:47,852 --> 01:25:50,271
You can do this. I believe in you.
1843
01:25:50,479 --> 01:25:52,815
Positive mental attitude.
Positive mental attitude.
1844
01:25:53,023 --> 01:25:54,650
- (crowd chanting)
- (sighs)
1845
01:25:54,817 --> 01:25:56,652
Right, let's go.
1846
01:25:57,111 --> 01:26:00,030
(crowd chants):
Hammerhead! Hammerhead! Hammerhead!
1847
01:26:00,489 --> 01:26:01,949
(muttering)
1848
01:26:06,495 --> 01:26:07,788
- Gordy.
- Nick.
1849
01:26:07,955 --> 01:26:09,290
- All right, mate?
- Yeah.
1850
01:26:09,748 --> 01:26:11,667
- What are you doing in there?
- In here? No idea.
1851
01:26:11,834 --> 01:26:14,253
But I will tell you this.
No more ketamine for me.
1852
01:26:14,420 --> 01:26:15,671
- Right.
- No more.
1853
01:26:16,130 --> 01:26:18,340
- Bad Gordy. Too much ketamine.
- OK.
1854
01:26:18,799 --> 01:26:20,676
- Do you wanna come and watch Hammerhead?
- Erm...no.
1855
01:26:20,843 --> 01:26:22,386
I'm gonna get a bit more kip in here.
1856
01:26:22,845 --> 01:26:25,014
Don't tell anyone,
but Hammerhead is actually Shane.
1857
01:26:25,472 --> 01:26:26,640
Cool.
1858
01:26:26,807 --> 01:26:28,726
- Have you got any ketamine?
- No.
1859
01:26:28,893 --> 01:26:30,895
- See you later, Gordy.
- (Gordy mutters)
1860
01:26:31,353 --> 01:26:32,980
(crowd chants):
Hammerhead!
1861
01:26:35,524 --> 01:26:37,610
(crowd falls quiet)
1862
01:26:37,776 --> 01:26:39,862
(dramatic beat)
1863
01:26:41,113 --> 01:26:42,531
(cheering)
1864
01:26:51,874 --> 01:26:53,667
Hi, guys.
Can you believe we're backstage?
1865
01:26:53,959 --> 01:26:57,630
Nick, you are toxic and triggering,
and if you take one step closer to Lucy,
1866
01:26:57,796 --> 01:26:59,757
I swear to God,
I will strike you with a punch.
1867
01:26:59,924 --> 01:27:01,550
Jesus, Rex, stop.
1868
01:27:02,009 --> 01:27:03,385
I'm not going to have sex with you.
1869
01:27:03,844 --> 01:27:06,013
- What?
- And wash your foreskin, Rex. It stinks.
1870
01:27:06,180 --> 01:27:07,640
Caitlin, can I have a quick word?
1871
01:27:08,098 --> 01:27:09,767
- What?
- I just wanted to say sorry.
1872
01:27:10,226 --> 01:27:12,228
For graduation and for this weekend.
1873
01:27:12,394 --> 01:27:14,355
- And for everything, really.
- Oh.
1874
01:27:14,521 --> 01:27:16,523
We split up and I'm OK with that.
1875
01:27:16,982 --> 01:27:18,776
Yeah.
I mean, we can still be friends.
1876
01:27:19,235 --> 01:27:20,945
Oh, God, let's not be friends!
1877
01:27:21,111 --> 01:27:24,281
- Ugh, friends?
- You're right. What's gonna happen?
1878
01:27:24,740 --> 01:27:28,118
We hang out and play FIFA
and I start crying because I miss you.
1879
01:27:28,577 --> 01:27:30,496
- Being friends with an ex is the worst.
- The worst.
1880
01:27:30,955 --> 01:27:34,541
Let's not do that. Let's have a nasty,
difficult, immature break-up.
1881
01:27:35,000 --> 01:27:38,545
Yes. You are selfish and anal,
and we are not friends.
1882
01:27:39,004 --> 01:27:40,005
Not friends.
1883
01:27:41,257 --> 01:27:42,800
- (dance music)
- (cheering)
1884
01:27:43,259 --> 01:27:44,802
I can do this. I can do this.
1885
01:27:44,969 --> 01:27:47,346
It's fine. I can do this. (grunts)
1886
01:27:49,473 --> 01:27:51,475
(music stops)
1887
01:27:54,520 --> 01:27:56,522
I can do anything. I can do anything.
1888
01:27:56,981 --> 01:27:58,274
I can do anything.
1889
01:27:58,607 --> 01:28:00,067
(cheering)
1890
01:28:01,777 --> 01:28:03,487
Oh, shit.
1891
01:28:09,576 --> 01:28:10,786
Shit. The music.
1892
01:28:10,953 --> 01:28:12,871
Oh, erm...
1893
01:28:15,791 --> 01:28:17,876
(dance music plays)
1894
01:28:19,211 --> 01:28:20,921
MALE VOICE:
Look at his face.
1895
01:28:21,672 --> 01:28:23,590
What do I do? What do I do now?
1896
01:28:23,757 --> 01:28:25,843
I'll just twiddle some buttons.
1897
01:28:26,468 --> 01:28:28,470
(male voice)
1898
01:28:30,848 --> 01:28:32,141
Yeah! (laughs)
1899
01:28:35,352 --> 01:28:37,938
This is the best night of my life!
1900
01:28:38,105 --> 01:28:39,690
(laughs)
1901
01:28:45,154 --> 01:28:48,532
(woman's voice)
1902
01:28:48,991 --> 01:28:50,326
Do you like soup?
1903
01:28:50,492 --> 01:28:52,995
Oh, sorry it took so long.
You know those queues are...
1904
01:28:53,162 --> 01:28:54,204
Ugh! What the fuck?
1905
01:28:54,371 --> 01:28:55,581
Ah! Great. You're back.
1906
01:28:55,748 --> 01:28:57,333
Well, I'll just get out of your hair.
1907
01:28:57,791 --> 01:28:59,209
- What the hell happened?
- Oh, nothing.
1908
01:28:59,668 --> 01:29:01,503
A little mishap involving some crabmeat.
1909
01:29:01,670 --> 01:29:04,840
- Isn't that right, Mr Hammerhead?
- He can't go out there like this!
1910
01:29:05,299 --> 01:29:07,468
Don't worry about that.
Shane's gone out there instead.
1911
01:29:07,634 --> 01:29:09,887
What? Are you insane?
1912
01:29:10,346 --> 01:29:12,765
Glasshouses, mate. You fucked a goat.
1913
01:29:15,476 --> 01:29:17,561
(pounding beat)
1914
01:29:29,865 --> 01:29:31,325
I didn't know you knew Hammerhead.
1915
01:29:31,784 --> 01:29:33,452
Er... Yeah.
1916
01:29:35,079 --> 01:29:38,916
(woman's voice)
1917
01:29:39,083 --> 01:29:40,709
He's a bit geeky.
1918
01:29:41,168 --> 01:29:42,711
Er... Yeah.
1919
01:29:48,967 --> 01:29:50,552
We've gotta pull the gig.
1920
01:29:50,803 --> 01:29:51,845
Why? He's killing it.
1921
01:29:52,012 --> 01:29:54,181
Yeah, well,
that's not the real Hammerhead.
1922
01:29:54,348 --> 01:29:56,725
- What?
- That is not the real Hammerhead.
1923
01:29:56,892 --> 01:29:58,185
That is.
1924
01:29:58,352 --> 01:29:59,770
I think it's going down.
1925
01:29:59,937 --> 01:30:02,773
Holy shit. Don't worry.
I'm gonna fix this.
1926
01:30:03,232 --> 01:30:04,691
(crowd cheering)
1927
01:30:07,111 --> 01:30:08,320
- Hey.
- Oh, shit.
1928
01:30:08,487 --> 01:30:10,322
Hey, get off the stage, arsehole.
Fun's over.
1929
01:30:10,489 --> 01:30:13,283
- I'm Hammerhead.
- You're not Hammerhead. Let's go.
1930
01:30:13,742 --> 01:30:15,619
- I'm Hammerhead.
- You're not Hammerhead.
1931
01:30:20,332 --> 01:30:21,792
- You're not Hammerhead.
- I'm Hammerhead!
1932
01:30:21,959 --> 01:30:23,293
Stop! Look, this is my moment!
1933
01:30:23,502 --> 01:30:24,545
(gasps from crowd)
1934
01:30:24,711 --> 01:30:27,381
Holy shit. It's Dougie!
1935
01:30:27,548 --> 01:30:29,466
I've seen his bell-end!
1936
01:30:29,633 --> 01:30:30,968
(music stops)
1937
01:30:31,427 --> 01:30:32,886
(crowd groans)
1938
01:30:33,345 --> 01:30:34,680
Oh, shit.
1939
01:30:34,847 --> 01:30:36,432
- Nick, Nick, help!
- Come on, get off.
1940
01:30:36,598 --> 01:30:37,724
- Don't push me.
- Oi, Pirate.
1941
01:30:37,891 --> 01:30:39,143
Fuck you, Lick.
1942
01:30:39,309 --> 01:30:42,271
Hammerhead can't DJ,
cos he ate a horsemeat and crab bar,
1943
01:30:42,438 --> 01:30:44,481
but Shane can and it's his dream.
1944
01:30:44,940 --> 01:30:47,734
- Please let him DJ.
- Yeah, fuck off, you fucking idiot.
1945
01:30:48,193 --> 01:30:51,822
Fine. I wouldn't normally hit anyone,
let alone anyone with a disability.
1946
01:30:52,281 --> 01:30:53,574
You fucking pervert.
1947
01:30:54,032 --> 01:30:56,285
- Yeah, you gonna hit me?
- Nick, what do I do?
1948
01:30:56,452 --> 01:30:58,537
- (rasps): I'm a bit busy.
- I can't hear you. What?
1949
01:30:58,704 --> 01:31:00,497
- (rasps): Just a bit busy.
- I can't hear you.
1950
01:31:00,664 --> 01:31:01,874
- Play your stuff.
- What?
1951
01:31:02,040 --> 01:31:03,625
- Bit busy.
- I think I'm gonna play my stuff.
1952
01:31:03,792 --> 01:31:05,461
I'm sick of your bullshit!
1953
01:31:07,004 --> 01:31:09,423
(Shane's pounding repetitive dance beat)
1954
01:31:13,552 --> 01:31:15,137
♪ Push 'em up
- (cheers)
1955
01:31:15,304 --> 01:31:17,473
♪ Push 'em up
- (cheering)
1956
01:31:19,224 --> 01:31:20,559
♪ Push 'em up
1957
01:31:20,767 --> 01:31:22,644
♪ Push 'em up
1958
01:31:23,103 --> 01:31:26,690
- Fuck you, Lick!
- My name is... Nick.
1959
01:31:26,857 --> 01:31:28,984
Oi! That's not fair! You're part machine!
1960
01:31:29,443 --> 01:31:32,321
- There's a fucking N in it!
- Agh.
1961
01:31:33,655 --> 01:31:36,283
Let go! What are you doing? Let go!
Let go!
1962
01:31:37,618 --> 01:31:39,244
- Oh, dear.
- (shocked groans)
1963
01:31:39,411 --> 01:31:40,996
What the fuck is wrong
with you people?
1964
01:31:41,163 --> 01:31:43,165
Amy, throw me the leg.
1965
01:31:44,208 --> 01:31:46,126
Pirate. Are you gonna let Shane DJ?
1966
01:31:46,293 --> 01:31:48,462
I'm not gonna haggle for my body part,
you arsehole.
1967
01:31:48,795 --> 01:31:51,798
- You are making me do this, I'm afraid.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
1968
01:31:51,965 --> 01:31:54,051
No, no, no, no, no, no!
1969
01:31:54,468 --> 01:31:56,637
No!
1970
01:31:56,803 --> 01:31:58,680
It's not a beach ball!
1971
01:31:59,932 --> 01:32:01,308
This time you did steal The Pirate's leg.
1972
01:32:01,475 --> 01:32:03,310
Yeah. I should do something about that.
1973
01:32:03,769 --> 01:32:06,188
No, fuck him.
I'm glad we're friends again, Nick.
1974
01:32:08,232 --> 01:32:10,025
(crowd cheering)
1975
01:32:13,362 --> 01:32:15,155
This is gonna make such a good story!
1976
01:32:15,322 --> 01:32:17,616
This is amazing. They like my stuff.
1977
01:32:18,075 --> 01:32:19,493
- Because it's great.
- (laughs)
1978
01:32:19,660 --> 01:32:21,036
- So what now?
- Who cares?
1979
01:32:21,453 --> 01:32:23,288
Yeah. Who cares?
1980
01:32:24,498 --> 01:32:27,417
- Shane, you're amazing.
- I think you're amazing.
1981
01:32:27,584 --> 01:32:29,670
- Can I kiss you?
- Can I kiss you?
1982
01:32:30,837 --> 01:32:31,964
(cheering)
1983
01:32:35,175 --> 01:32:36,343
That's my son.
1984
01:32:37,344 --> 01:32:39,263
That's my son!
1985
01:32:41,014 --> 01:32:42,724
(crowd cheering)
1986
01:32:46,436 --> 01:32:48,897
I fucking love festivals!
1987
01:32:53,318 --> 01:32:55,862
Oh, shit.
Shane, we've gotta go.
1988
01:32:56,029 --> 01:32:58,865
- Oh, shit. What we gonna do?
- We could make a run for it.
1989
01:32:59,032 --> 01:33:01,076
- I'm happy to run.
- In that case, we should run.
1990
01:33:01,243 --> 01:33:02,619
Which way?
1991
01:33:02,786 --> 01:33:03,954
That way?
1992
01:33:04,621 --> 01:33:07,833
- We could crowd-surf off.
- Reminds me of the time I nearly drowned.
1993
01:33:08,000 --> 01:33:10,627
- Have I ever told you that story?
- Tell us later!
1994
01:33:20,387 --> 01:33:22,472
(shocked groans)
1995
01:33:24,057 --> 01:33:26,143
Oh, God.
1996
01:33:38,196 --> 01:33:40,574
Yes, Mum, yes.
No, no caution this time.
1997
01:33:40,741 --> 01:33:42,451
Well, cos he hit me first.
1998
01:33:42,618 --> 01:33:45,454
No, he didn't take my leg,
but only cos he couldn't.
1999
01:33:45,621 --> 01:33:47,748
Just sounds like
you're on his side, that's all.
2000
01:33:47,914 --> 01:33:51,168
..there's a Stilton tent, which is
literally a tent made of Stilton.
2001
01:33:51,335 --> 01:33:52,711
- It stinks.
- It sounds amazing.
2002
01:33:52,878 --> 01:33:54,254
OK, guys, here are your tickets.
2003
01:33:54,421 --> 01:33:55,547
Er...I'm down there.
2004
01:33:56,006 --> 01:33:59,509
- We're not together?
- No, you two are too...together.
2005
01:33:59,676 --> 01:34:02,429
- Wait, Nick. These are...
- I know. They're so much cheaper.
2006
01:34:08,727 --> 01:34:10,729
- Hello.
- Hello.
2007
01:34:10,896 --> 01:34:12,856
- Tickets, please.
- Oh, f...
2008
01:34:13,023 --> 01:34:16,693
Right, I've gotta go and hide
in the toilets. Don't go anywhere.
2009
01:34:17,235 --> 01:34:18,236
♪ Whoo
2010
01:34:18,403 --> 01:34:20,489
♪ Get on your feet, boys
2011
01:34:20,656 --> 01:34:24,117
♪ Rip it up, rip it up
if you're ever gonna make it!
2012
01:34:24,284 --> 01:34:26,411
♪ Get on your feet, girls
2013
01:34:26,578 --> 01:34:30,207
♪ Rip it up, rip it up
if you're ever gonna make it!
2014
01:34:30,374 --> 01:34:32,751
♪ Rip it up, rip it up, rip it up
2015
01:34:33,126 --> 01:34:35,879
♪ Rip it up, rip it up, rip it up
2016
01:34:44,846 --> 01:34:46,098
Aargh...
2017
01:34:47,557 --> 01:34:49,351
♪ Get on your feet, boys
2018
01:34:49,559 --> 01:34:51,645
Do you have showers here?
2019
01:34:52,479 --> 01:34:53,730
No.
2020
01:34:53,897 --> 01:34:55,982
Do you sell wet wipes?
2021
01:34:56,441 --> 01:34:59,069
♪ Rip it up, rip it up
if you're ever gonna make it
2022
01:34:59,236 --> 01:35:01,238
♪ Get on your feet, boys
2023
01:35:01,405 --> 01:35:05,200
♪ Rip it up, rip it up
if you're ever gonna make it
2024
01:35:05,367 --> 01:35:07,953
♪ Rip it up, rip it up, rip it up
2025
01:35:08,370 --> 01:35:10,747
♪ Rip it up, rip it up, rip it up...
2026
01:35:16,753 --> 01:35:18,505
♪ Woke up and I felt all vibey
2027
01:35:18,672 --> 01:35:20,090
♪ Woke up and I felt all lively
2028
01:35:20,257 --> 01:35:21,842
♪ Woke up, I was, like, cor blimey
2029
01:35:22,008 --> 01:35:23,510
♪ Got a whole lot of vibe inside me
2030
01:35:23,677 --> 01:35:25,220
♪ My nuts were a little bit grimy
2031
01:35:25,387 --> 01:35:26,888
♪ My guts were a little bit slimy
2032
01:35:27,055 --> 01:35:28,473
♪ Washed up and made myself tidy
2033
01:35:28,640 --> 01:35:30,100
♪ Now I'm spick and span and I'm shiny
2034
01:35:30,267 --> 01:35:32,144
♪ Then I said, Jesus Lord, please guide me
2035
01:35:32,310 --> 01:35:33,854
♪ Don't let these pussy-o's try me
2036
01:35:34,020 --> 01:35:35,522
♪ Don't wanna see me get fiery
2037
01:35:35,689 --> 01:35:37,107
♪ God, I know that you won't deny me
2038
01:35:37,274 --> 01:35:38,900
♪ Let me know everything is irie
2039
01:35:39,067 --> 01:35:40,736
♪ He said, Dun know that I'm your guy, G
2040
01:35:40,902 --> 01:35:42,446
♪ I said, Amen, and I thank you kindly
2041
01:35:42,612 --> 01:35:44,698
♪ Then I hopped in the whip all smiley
2042
01:35:45,157 --> 01:35:47,576
♪ Catching the vibe
Out here patterning vibes
2043
01:35:47,743 --> 01:35:49,161
♪ Might get Ghost for the weekend
2044
01:35:49,327 --> 01:35:51,496
♪ Grab one yatty and go for a ride
2045
01:35:51,663 --> 01:35:52,998
♪ Catching the vibe
2046
01:35:53,165 --> 01:35:54,499
♪ I'm so happy inside
2047
01:35:54,666 --> 01:35:56,168
♪ I don't know about them man there
2048
01:35:56,334 --> 01:35:57,753
♪ But I'm so gassed I'm alive
2049
01:35:57,919 --> 01:35:59,337
♪ I've been waiting for so long
2050
01:35:59,504 --> 01:36:00,881
♪ To pattern a vibe, it's true
2051
01:36:01,047 --> 01:36:02,799
♪ Now that I caught this
I ain't gonna let go
2052
01:36:02,966 --> 01:36:04,217
♪ Until the whole night's through
2053
01:36:04,384 --> 01:36:06,553
♪ Cos I've been waiting for so long
♪ So long
2054
01:36:06,720 --> 01:36:08,680
♪ To catch a vibe with you, yeah
2055
01:36:08,847 --> 01:36:10,223
♪ So, if you want to catch my wave
2056
01:36:10,390 --> 01:36:12,517
♪ Maybe you can come my way
Yeah, yeah
2057
01:36:12,684 --> 01:36:14,853
♪ Creeper
And I feel like a right proper geezer
2058
01:36:15,020 --> 01:36:16,646
♪ Hold on, let me get a little deeper
2059
01:36:16,813 --> 01:36:18,440
♪ Let me tell you how my day gets sweeter
2060
01:36:18,607 --> 01:36:20,066
♪ Got a ting over there I don't cheat her
2061
01:36:20,233 --> 01:36:22,235
♪ Got a ting I just poke,
I don't tweet her
2062
01:36:22,402 --> 01:36:23,695
♪ Roll up to the spot, then I beep her
2063
01:36:23,862 --> 01:36:25,614
♪ Roll up to the spot,
on time like the Reaper
2064
01:36:25,781 --> 01:36:27,115
♪ Open the door then I greet her
2065
01:36:27,282 --> 01:36:28,825
♪ I say, Wahgwan, my siñorita
2066
01:36:28,992 --> 01:36:30,327
♪ You look like a right little keeper
2067
01:36:30,494 --> 01:36:32,078
♪ Wanna get you a bevy and feed ya
2068
01:36:32,245 --> 01:36:33,580
♪ Better buckle up tight cos I need ya
2069
01:36:33,747 --> 01:36:35,582
♪ Like your birthday,
the way I'm gonna treat ya
2070
01:36:35,749 --> 01:36:37,292
♪ Got a whole lot of bass in my speaker
2071
01:36:37,459 --> 01:36:39,795
♪ And you're rolling
with a rasclart overachiever
2072
01:36:39,961 --> 01:36:41,129
♪ Catching the vibe
2073
01:36:41,296 --> 01:36:42,631
♪ Out here patterning vibes
2074
01:36:42,798 --> 01:36:44,132
♪ Might get Ghost for the weekend
2075
01:36:44,299 --> 01:36:46,426
♪ Grab one yatty and go for a ride
2076
01:36:46,593 --> 01:36:47,677
♪ Catching the vibe
2077
01:36:47,844 --> 01:36:49,596
♪ I'm so happy inside
2078
01:36:49,763 --> 01:36:51,056
♪ I don't know about them man there
2079
01:36:51,223 --> 01:36:52,682
♪ But I'm so gassed I'm alive
2080
01:36:52,849 --> 01:36:54,100
♪ I've been waiting for so long
2081
01:36:54,267 --> 01:36:55,727
♪ To pattern a vibe, it's true
2082
01:36:55,894 --> 01:36:57,562
♪ Now that I caught this
I ain't gonna let go
2083
01:36:57,729 --> 01:36:59,022
♪ Until the whole night's through
2084
01:36:59,189 --> 01:37:01,441
♪ Cos I've been waiting for so long
♪ So long
2085
01:37:01,608 --> 01:37:03,527
♪ To catch a vibe with you, yeah
2086
01:37:03,693 --> 01:37:05,111
♪ So, if you want to catch my wave
2087
01:37:05,278 --> 01:37:07,280
♪ Maybe you can come my way
Yeah, yeah
2088
01:37:07,447 --> 01:37:08,532
♪ If you wanna ride
2089
01:37:08,698 --> 01:37:09,991
♪ Come, we can pattern a vibe
2090
01:37:10,158 --> 01:37:11,576
♪ I've been waiting all my life
2091
01:37:11,743 --> 01:37:13,995
♪ So, we gotta get it right
Yeah, yeah
2092
01:37:14,162 --> 01:37:15,205
♪ If you wanna ride
2093
01:37:15,372 --> 01:37:16,998
♪ Come, we can pattern it right
2094
01:37:17,165 --> 01:37:18,750
♪ I'm just celebrating life
2095
01:37:18,917 --> 01:37:20,085
♪ I'll be doing this all night
2096
01:37:20,252 --> 01:37:22,212
♪ Just catching the vibe
2097
01:37:22,379 --> 01:37:23,672
♪ Out here patterning vibes
2098
01:37:23,839 --> 01:37:25,090
♪ Might get Ghost for the weekend
2099
01:37:25,257 --> 01:37:27,342
♪ Grab one yatty and go for a ride
2100
01:37:27,717 --> 01:37:28,969
♪ Catching the vibe
2101
01:37:29,135 --> 01:37:30,512
♪ I'm so happy inside
2102
01:37:30,679 --> 01:37:32,180
♪ I don't know about them man there
2103
01:37:32,347 --> 01:37:33,807
♪ But I'm so cussed I'm alive
2104
01:37:33,974 --> 01:37:35,517
♪ I've been waiting for so long
2105
01:37:35,684 --> 01:37:37,811
♪ To catch a vibe with you, yeah
2106
01:37:37,978 --> 01:37:39,271
♪ So, if you want to catch my wave
2107
01:37:39,437 --> 01:37:41,523
♪ Maybe you can come my way
Yeah, yeah
2108
01:37:48,530 --> 01:37:49,656
♪ Catching the vibe
2109
01:37:49,823 --> 01:37:51,741
♪ Out here patterning vibes
2110
01:37:51,908 --> 01:37:53,034
♪ Catching the vibe
2111
01:37:53,201 --> 01:37:55,078
♪ Out here patterning vibes
2112
01:37:55,245 --> 01:37:55,704
♪ Catching the vibe
153051
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