All language subtitles for Superstore Season 4 Episode 19 Scanners
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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,073 --> 00:00:02,153
The customer can type in
what they're looking for.
2
00:00:02,176 --> 00:00:04,297
This will tell them where
in the store to find it.
3
00:00:04,298 --> 00:00:06,623
They can scan it themselves,
swipe their credit card,
4
00:00:06,624 --> 00:00:07,765
and leave the store.
5
00:00:07,766 --> 00:00:10,067
So basically, these scanners
are gonna make us obsolete.
6
00:00:10,068 --> 00:00:12,438
This is it! The robots
are coming for our jobs.
7
00:00:12,439 --> 00:00:14,617
Are the scanners gonna be
listening to everything we say
8
00:00:14,618 --> 00:00:15,440
like our phones do?
9
00:00:15,441 --> 00:00:16,875
Our phones do that?
10
00:00:16,876 --> 00:00:17,944
Absolutely.
11
00:00:17,950 --> 00:00:20,316
Last week, I was talking a lot
about penis enlargement.
12
00:00:20,317 --> 00:00:21,898
Now it's, like, every ad I see.
13
00:00:21,899 --> 00:00:23,982
Listen, technology has been
taking jobs for years.
14
00:00:23,983 --> 00:00:26,234
Think about what happened with
bank tellers and ATM machines.
15
00:00:26,236 --> 00:00:27,299
It's just ATMs.
16
00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:29,298
Exactly. It's only ATM machines now.
17
00:00:29,367 --> 00:00:30,999
No, you don't need the "machines."
18
00:00:31,068 --> 00:00:33,635
Nobody needs the machines,
but it makes our lives easier.
19
00:00:33,977 --> 00:00:35,577
This is just the beginning.
20
00:00:35,738 --> 00:00:40,042
What kind of job will be left
for me 30 years from now?
21
00:00:42,546 --> 00:00:44,580
Powerlifter? Zumba instructor?
22
00:00:44,648 --> 00:00:46,242
Okay, everyone relax, all right?
23
00:00:46,243 --> 00:00:48,617
It's just a fancy price gun.
24
00:00:48,686 --> 00:00:51,220
It's not a threat,
no one's getting replaced.
25
00:00:51,288 --> 00:00:53,522
Yeah, yeah.
26
00:00:53,591 --> 00:00:56,825
Uh, also, um, lastly...
27
00:00:56,894 --> 00:00:58,560
Corporate is asking us
to cut back on some hours,
28
00:00:58,629 --> 00:01:00,596
so maybe check the schedule?
Okay, have a nice day!
29
00:01:00,664 --> 00:01:02,245
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?
30
00:01:04,455 --> 00:01:07,176
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com
31
00:01:08,904 --> 00:01:10,750
I just don't think anybody's
gonna use these.
32
00:01:10,752 --> 00:01:11,871
Do you really think our customers
33
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,403
are gonna take the time to figure out
34
00:01:13,404 --> 00:01:15,878
how to make this thing work?
35
00:01:15,946 --> 00:01:18,738
- What was that?
- It just scanned that toaster.
36
00:01:19,150 --> 00:01:19,990
From here?
37
00:01:20,644 --> 00:01:21,884
Ooh, try aiming
38
00:01:21,952 --> 00:01:23,786
for the Breton three-quarter sleeve.
39
00:01:23,854 --> 00:01:25,587
- The what?
- The Breton?
40
00:01:25,656 --> 00:01:27,055
The boat neck poly blend?
41
00:01:27,124 --> 00:01:28,424
Come on, man.
42
00:01:28,492 --> 00:01:29,542
Sorry, straight men.
43
00:01:29,543 --> 00:01:31,041
The black and white shirt over there.
44
00:01:31,042 --> 00:01:32,561
Oh. Got it.
45
00:01:32,956 --> 00:01:34,723
That's unbelievable.
46
00:01:34,965 --> 00:01:36,064
Hey Cheyenne,
47
00:01:36,133 --> 00:01:37,866
hold up that bag of chips
up above your head.
48
00:01:37,935 --> 00:01:40,102
Oh. Okay.
49
00:01:40,171 --> 00:01:42,404
Flamin' Hot Funyuns.
50
00:01:42,473 --> 00:01:44,158
- Yeah!
- Now spin around.
51
00:01:44,775 --> 00:01:45,432
Okay.
52
00:01:45,433 --> 00:01:47,983
Well, I know what we'll be doing today.
53
00:01:49,698 --> 00:01:51,914
Got it! Flamin' Hot Funyuns.
54
00:01:51,982 --> 00:01:52,885
Whoo.
55
00:01:54,685 --> 00:01:57,019
So how many hours
are we all going to lose?
56
00:01:57,087 --> 00:01:59,388
Um, you know,
I can't say exactly right now.
57
00:01:59,457 --> 00:02:00,989
I'm still working on the schedule.
58
00:02:01,058 --> 00:02:02,658
We do know we'll have at least one tall
59
00:02:02,726 --> 00:02:03,859
and one skinny per shift.
60
00:02:03,861 --> 00:02:05,761
That way, we retain access
to high shelves
61
00:02:05,763 --> 00:02:06,595
and crawl spaces.
62
00:02:06,797 --> 00:02:08,764
Well I need all the hours I can get.
63
00:02:08,833 --> 00:02:11,066
I just signed my son up
for some STEM program
64
00:02:11,135 --> 00:02:13,297
- I can barely afford.
- STEM?
65
00:02:13,298 --> 00:02:16,505
Science, technology, um, energy.
66
00:02:16,574 --> 00:02:18,073
I don't know. Nerd stuff.
67
00:02:18,534 --> 00:02:21,175
I would hate having
to take that away from him.
68
00:02:21,245 --> 00:02:22,893
It would break his little heart.
69
00:02:22,894 --> 00:02:24,746
Hmm. Yeah.
70
00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:27,382
Please don't make me break
his little heart.
71
00:02:29,687 --> 00:02:32,588
- Woof.
- Well, this sucks.
72
00:02:32,656 --> 00:02:34,490
Corporate's the one reducing hours.
73
00:02:34,558 --> 00:02:36,225
I'm just the one making the schedule.
74
00:02:36,293 --> 00:02:38,527
Well, you can't really blame
them for trying to cut costs
75
00:02:38,596 --> 00:02:40,229
in this world of online retail.
76
00:02:40,297 --> 00:02:41,763
Have you been to FashionThreads.com?
77
00:02:41,832 --> 00:02:44,032
They sell everything we do,
but at half the price.
78
00:02:44,101 --> 00:02:44,875
Really?
79
00:02:47,912 --> 00:02:48,871
Okay, we have to stop talking
80
00:02:48,939 --> 00:02:50,572
about online retail in the store.
81
00:02:50,641 --> 00:02:51,974
Look, if people here are pissed at you,
82
00:02:52,042 --> 00:02:54,042
that's their problem.
Just shrug it off.
83
00:02:54,111 --> 00:02:55,677
Well, that's easy for you to say, Dina.
84
00:02:55,746 --> 00:02:57,212
You're not the one that they're
going to be blaming
85
00:02:57,281 --> 00:02:58,547
for taking away their pay.
86
00:02:58,616 --> 00:03:00,616
Hell, if you want, tell
everyone I made the schedule.
87
00:03:00,684 --> 00:03:01,664
I don't care if people hate me.
88
00:03:01,665 --> 00:03:03,585
In some sexual situations, I prefer it.
89
00:03:03,654 --> 00:03:05,087
Excuse me, what is that website again?
90
00:03:05,155 --> 00:03:06,221
FashionThreads.com,
91
00:03:06,290 --> 00:03:07,489
but if you want, I can send you a link,
92
00:03:07,558 --> 00:03:08,724
and then we'll both get a code
that gets us
93
00:03:08,792 --> 00:03:11,093
10% off our next purchase. Yes, please.
94
00:03:11,161 --> 00:03:12,569
Okay, what's your email?
95
00:03:12,570 --> 00:03:15,197
One, two, three,
96
00:03:15,266 --> 00:03:17,399
four, five and turn!
97
00:03:19,436 --> 00:03:21,236
- Me first! Me first!
- Oh, I got you, bitch!
98
00:03:21,305 --> 00:03:22,337
All right, it says "Gold Bond"
99
00:03:22,406 --> 00:03:23,505
"Medicated Foot Powder" was first.
100
00:03:23,574 --> 00:03:24,540
Which means the winner is
101
00:03:24,608 --> 00:03:26,742
Cheyenne "Sensodyne Rapid Relief" Lee!
102
00:03:26,810 --> 00:03:29,811
Oh, yeah! Sens-o-dyne!
103
00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:32,214
What is going on over here?
104
00:03:32,283 --> 00:03:33,615
We're playing scanner duel.
105
00:03:33,684 --> 00:03:35,984
Two people each get a scanner,
and then Mateo loses.
106
00:03:36,053 --> 00:03:38,220
That sounds like fun. Can I play?
107
00:03:38,289 --> 00:03:39,421
You wanna play?
108
00:03:39,490 --> 00:03:41,990
Yeah. Guys, I'm not the boss anymore.
109
00:03:42,059 --> 00:03:42,824
If you guys are having
110
00:03:42,893 --> 00:03:44,346
a little secret, naughty fun time,
111
00:03:44,348 --> 00:03:45,328
I'm into it.
112
00:03:45,996 --> 00:03:47,396
Unfortunate wording.
113
00:03:47,464 --> 00:03:49,185
Hey Amy?
114
00:03:49,767 --> 00:03:52,434
I saw I only have 30 hours next week.
115
00:03:52,503 --> 00:03:54,403
Yeah. Um, look, Sandra,
116
00:03:54,471 --> 00:03:56,238
everyone's hours have been cut.
117
00:03:56,307 --> 00:03:58,240
It's just a bad time for me.
118
00:03:58,309 --> 00:04:00,409
An identity thief stole my identity
119
00:04:00,477 --> 00:04:01,921
from the guy who stole it first,
120
00:04:01,922 --> 00:04:03,979
and the charges are racking up.
121
00:04:04,048 --> 00:04:05,647
Oh, wow.
122
00:04:05,716 --> 00:04:08,350
And then, remember that
Brazilian model who emailed me
123
00:04:08,419 --> 00:04:10,352
about opening a joint bank account?
124
00:04:10,421 --> 00:04:12,387
Well, that also went sideways.
125
00:04:12,456 --> 00:04:15,557
Look, Sandra, um,
I would help you if I could,
126
00:04:15,626 --> 00:04:18,894
but, um... Dina made the schedule.
127
00:04:18,963 --> 00:04:20,128
Hey Dina, um,
128
00:04:20,197 --> 00:04:22,831
do you think maybe you could
throw Sandra some hours?
129
00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:25,738
It seems like maybe you cut too many.
130
00:04:26,901 --> 00:04:29,350
Oh, yeah. No, sorry.
131
00:04:29,351 --> 00:04:31,039
The schedule I made
is the schedule I made.
132
00:04:31,108 --> 00:04:32,608
Come on, really?
133
00:04:32,676 --> 00:04:34,409
I mean, she's going
through a lot right now.
134
00:04:34,478 --> 00:04:36,478
Yeah, I mean, my credit is only 60
135
00:04:36,547 --> 00:04:38,380
and my Brazilian credit is two.
136
00:04:38,449 --> 00:04:40,549
Um, yeah, everybody has problems.
137
00:04:40,618 --> 00:04:42,417
Don't care. Not making any changes.
138
00:04:42,486 --> 00:04:45,754
Ugh! I mean, I'm sorry.
139
00:04:45,823 --> 00:04:47,723
I really do wish
that I could help you, Sandra,
140
00:04:47,791 --> 00:04:49,791
but it's... it's out of my hands.
141
00:04:49,860 --> 00:04:53,562
Yeah, well, thank you
for trying at least.
142
00:04:54,898 --> 00:04:56,531
Thank you.
143
00:04:56,974 --> 00:04:58,774
Listen, like I said,
it doesn't bother me.
144
00:04:58,843 --> 00:05:01,110
And, you know,
people dislike you enough.
145
00:05:01,178 --> 00:05:03,345
We don't need to add
any fuel to that fire.
146
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:06,452
What fire?
147
00:05:10,309 --> 00:05:12,447
All right, so everybody's
got a UPC sticker.
148
00:05:12,449 --> 00:05:14,335
You're gonna put that
on your shirt or vest.
149
00:05:14,421 --> 00:05:15,308
Stickers on the vests!
150
00:05:15,408 --> 00:05:16,529
Okay, there's two teams...
151
00:05:16,571 --> 00:05:18,204
Two teams. One versus the other.
152
00:05:18,273 --> 00:05:19,539
Okay, Glenn, thank you
so much for the energy,
153
00:05:19,608 --> 00:05:20,673
but let's get through this.
154
00:05:20,742 --> 00:05:22,876
Uh, if you picked "soup,"
you are with me.
155
00:05:22,944 --> 00:05:25,052
If you picked "yogurt,"
you are with Garrett.
156
00:05:26,014 --> 00:05:27,914
I got peach yogurt, can I switch?
157
00:05:27,983 --> 00:05:29,849
'Cause peaches make
the inside of my mouth itch.
158
00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:32,859
Okay, to be clear,
nobody is eating the product.
159
00:05:32,886 --> 00:05:34,587
- This is just a way...
- Don't eat the products!
160
00:05:34,656 --> 00:05:36,823
For us to divide up into teams.
161
00:05:36,892 --> 00:05:38,925
Um, mine says "plain."
Which team am I on?
162
00:05:38,994 --> 00:05:41,561
That's yogurt because there's
no such thing as plain soup.
163
00:05:41,630 --> 00:05:43,863
There was during the Depression.
164
00:05:43,932 --> 00:05:44,465
Good point.
165
00:05:44,466 --> 00:05:46,427
All right, guys, it's dodgeball rules,
166
00:05:46,428 --> 00:05:48,063
which means if you're hit,
you're eliminated.
167
00:05:48,143 --> 00:05:50,003
First team to eliminate
the other team wins.
168
00:05:50,071 --> 00:05:50,829
Any questions?
169
00:05:50,830 --> 00:05:52,771
Uh yeah, did Jonah put
all the white people
170
00:05:52,773 --> 00:05:53,941
on one team on purpose?
171
00:05:53,942 --> 00:05:57,877
Oh, um, no. That was just an accident.
172
00:05:57,946 --> 00:06:00,914
- Oh, a happy accident?
- I never said happy.
173
00:06:00,982 --> 00:06:03,283
- I heard you say happy.
- I think these teams are fine.
174
00:06:03,351 --> 00:06:05,351
No one asked what you think, Sandra.
175
00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:07,120
Oh, my God. Can we just play?
176
00:06:07,188 --> 00:06:08,588
Yes, thank you.
177
00:06:08,657 --> 00:06:10,723
Okay, two minute grace
period to disperse,
178
00:06:10,792 --> 00:06:12,825
and then the game begins. Good luck.
179
00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:15,662
Let's go, white people!
180
00:06:17,666 --> 00:06:20,466
Hey Amy, I've only worked
two hours today,
181
00:06:20,535 --> 00:06:22,001
and now I'm supposed to go home?
182
00:06:22,070 --> 00:06:23,136
How is that fair?
183
00:06:23,204 --> 00:06:25,438
Um, I don't know.
184
00:06:25,507 --> 00:06:27,373
I didn't make the schedule. Dina did.
185
00:06:27,442 --> 00:06:30,209
Dina, um, is there anything
you could do for Marcus?
186
00:06:30,278 --> 00:06:31,878
I really need the money.
187
00:06:31,947 --> 00:06:34,247
My finances are a little
complicated right now.
188
00:06:34,316 --> 00:06:36,316
Afraid not. My hands are tied.
189
00:06:36,384 --> 00:06:39,919
Sorry, I just realized "frayed knot"...
190
00:06:39,988 --> 00:06:41,487
super solid rope pun.
191
00:06:41,556 --> 00:06:43,823
I've got to use that
on purpose some time.
192
00:06:44,693 --> 00:06:47,126
- Unbelievable.
- She cut my hours, too.
193
00:06:47,195 --> 00:06:49,228
So much for Jackson's STEM program.
194
00:06:49,297 --> 00:06:50,530
What's a STEM program?
195
00:06:50,598 --> 00:06:51,931
I don't know. Would everyone please
196
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,099
stop asking me that?
197
00:06:53,168 --> 00:06:54,834
Guys, I'm really sorry.
198
00:06:54,903 --> 00:06:56,469
Hey, don't blame yourself.
199
00:06:56,538 --> 00:06:58,838
You gave her a chance.
She's the one who whiffed it.
200
00:06:59,195 --> 00:07:01,708
Yeah, she totally whiffed it.
201
00:07:02,298 --> 00:07:04,944
Ugh! Why did I have to let her do it?
202
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
203
00:07:13,488 --> 00:07:17,323
Ah, Kim, you suck!
"American Sniper," baby!
204
00:07:17,994 --> 00:07:19,325
Why does she scream "American Sniper"
205
00:07:19,394 --> 00:07:21,494
every time she hits somebody?
It makes it so much worse.
206
00:07:21,563 --> 00:07:23,429
How are we supposed
to get her in there?
207
00:07:23,498 --> 00:07:25,331
If this was the real world,
208
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:26,766
I'd just chuck a grenade in there.
209
00:07:26,835 --> 00:07:28,334
And by real world,
you're talking about?
210
00:07:28,403 --> 00:07:29,702
"Call of Duty."
211
00:07:29,771 --> 00:07:31,437
Oh, we can throw a raccoon in there,
212
00:07:31,506 --> 00:07:33,635
except they're never around
when you need them.
213
00:07:33,716 --> 00:07:36,509
If there was just a way that
we could sneak up behind her.
214
00:07:36,578 --> 00:07:38,011
Oh, what about the service tunnel
215
00:07:38,079 --> 00:07:39,012
behind the walls?
216
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,380
You know, that's a great idea.
217
00:07:40,448 --> 00:07:41,981
Why don't you do that
and we'll distract her?
218
00:07:42,050 --> 00:07:42,979
Cover me.
219
00:07:45,671 --> 00:07:47,479
Why do we need to distract her?
220
00:07:48,279 --> 00:07:50,156
I don't know. I guess we don't.
221
00:07:50,225 --> 00:07:52,191
Yeah, it just seems
unnecessary, you know,
222
00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:53,292
if she's already facing out.
223
00:07:53,361 --> 00:07:54,660
It's, like, what would be the point?
224
00:07:54,729 --> 00:07:56,362
Okay, are we just going
to be picking things apart?
225
00:07:56,431 --> 00:07:58,297
Is that what you want to spend
the rest of the day doing?
226
00:07:58,366 --> 00:07:59,899
I mean, I come up with an idea, like...
227
00:07:59,968 --> 00:08:01,968
Yeah, well, you know
I'm right, so whatever.
228
00:08:07,308 --> 00:08:10,243
Sandra! Got you!
229
00:08:10,311 --> 00:08:13,042
Got you! Oh yeah!
230
00:08:13,043 --> 00:08:16,049
Yeah, I was waiting for you for hours!
231
00:08:16,117 --> 00:08:17,350
Yeah.
232
00:08:17,419 --> 00:08:19,619
- Oh, that was fun.
- Can I get you...
233
00:08:19,687 --> 00:08:22,221
- Help you out?
- Oh, thank you.
234
00:08:22,290 --> 00:08:24,656
Okay, let's... I...
235
00:08:25,693 --> 00:08:26,817
Thank you.
236
00:08:29,064 --> 00:08:30,997
Hey, is this your kid?
237
00:08:31,066 --> 00:08:34,133
No. I mean, yes.
238
00:08:34,202 --> 00:08:36,534
Eh, you already said no. Beat it.
239
00:08:37,539 --> 00:08:38,830
So what's your deal?
You waiting for someone
240
00:08:38,831 --> 00:08:40,173
to buy you liquor or something?
241
00:08:40,241 --> 00:08:43,309
No, I'm waiting for my mom.
She works here.
242
00:08:43,378 --> 00:08:45,178
- Who's your mom?
- Janet Woods.
243
00:08:45,677 --> 00:08:47,980
You didn't hear?
She died, like, a month ago.
244
00:08:48,542 --> 00:08:50,030
- What?
- Woods!
245
00:08:50,485 --> 00:08:53,487
Sorry, I was thinking Rogers.
No, no, your mom's not dead.
246
00:08:53,488 --> 00:08:55,808
She's very alive. Cool science kit.
247
00:08:55,809 --> 00:08:56,589
Thanks?
248
00:08:56,658 --> 00:08:58,191
I'm sorry you're not
going to be able to go
249
00:08:58,259 --> 00:08:59,659
to that STEM science program thing.
250
00:08:59,727 --> 00:09:01,694
It's just a tough economy
right now, you know?
251
00:09:02,287 --> 00:09:04,864
Wait, I can't go to the program?
252
00:09:06,215 --> 00:09:08,572
I don't know. I mean, maybe, maybe not.
253
00:09:08,574 --> 00:09:09,495
You should talk to your mom.
254
00:09:09,496 --> 00:09:11,706
I mean, she... she knows
you better than I do.
255
00:09:12,342 --> 00:09:15,811
Oh, you're really Droopy Dog
about this, aren't you?
256
00:09:17,815 --> 00:09:18,599
Ah...
257
00:09:26,290 --> 00:09:28,256
Oh, God.
258
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,518
Oh, man!
259
00:09:32,896 --> 00:09:33,646
Marcus?
260
00:09:33,647 --> 00:09:34,765
Whoa!
261
00:09:34,766 --> 00:09:36,453
Hey, Mateo.
262
00:09:37,259 --> 00:09:38,567
What are you doing here?
263
00:09:38,635 --> 00:09:42,571
Oh, just got, uh, sent home early.
264
00:09:44,174 --> 00:09:45,618
Are you living here?
265
00:09:46,009 --> 00:09:49,144
What, like some homeless person?
266
00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:51,313
No, no! God, no.
267
00:09:51,381 --> 00:09:52,414
I...
268
00:09:52,483 --> 00:09:53,568
I... I sleep here.
269
00:09:54,097 --> 00:09:55,567
I live in my car.
270
00:09:56,286 --> 00:09:57,819
Oh.
271
00:09:58,835 --> 00:10:00,569
I want to get her
something really special.
272
00:10:01,372 --> 00:10:02,298
They don't know if she'll make it
273
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:03,605
through the surgery, so this could be
274
00:10:03,607 --> 00:10:05,734
our last Mother's Day together, and I...
275
00:10:05,734 --> 00:10:07,207
Got you, Earl!
276
00:10:07,850 --> 00:10:08,816
Damn it!
277
00:10:08,884 --> 00:10:10,884
[bleep] this game!
278
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:13,120
Uh, just for a little bit,
279
00:10:13,121 --> 00:10:15,156
you know, until I get back on my feet.
280
00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:18,136
Please don't tell anyone.
281
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,483
I... I'd offer to give you money, but...
282
00:10:22,714 --> 00:10:23,678
It's okay.
283
00:10:25,801 --> 00:10:26,934
Well, I'm just gonna...
284
00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:28,068
Hey, wait, wait! No, wait.
285
00:10:28,136 --> 00:10:29,937
Uh, why don't you just stay
and hang out?
286
00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:31,227
Do you like sushi?
287
00:10:31,907 --> 00:10:34,140
'Cause I make a mean shrimp ramen.
288
00:10:34,209 --> 00:10:36,042
That's not sushi.
289
00:10:36,111 --> 00:10:39,130
Um, you know, I'm actually trying to...
290
00:10:39,131 --> 00:10:40,183
Please stay.
291
00:10:43,177 --> 00:10:45,018
Hey boss, quick question.
292
00:10:45,087 --> 00:10:46,987
Do we have any wiggle room on hours?
293
00:10:47,055 --> 00:10:50,357
Uh, well, I don't know.
You made the schedule!
294
00:10:50,425 --> 00:10:51,451
Ha-ha. Yeah.
295
00:10:51,994 --> 00:10:54,260
I was just hoping to give
a few extra to Janet.
296
00:10:54,329 --> 00:10:55,996
Just met her son... cute kid...
297
00:10:56,064 --> 00:10:58,662
and I, uh, feel kind of bad.
298
00:10:59,413 --> 00:11:01,401
Yeah, I mean, I wish we could,
299
00:11:01,470 --> 00:11:04,137
but they were really strict
about cutbacks,
300
00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:05,905
and if we give her more,
we're gonna have
301
00:11:05,974 --> 00:11:07,306
to take them from someone else
302
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:09,541
and then that's just gonna
start a whole thing, so...
303
00:11:09,610 --> 00:11:11,576
Mm-hmm, yeah. No, absolutely.
304
00:11:11,645 --> 00:11:13,178
I get it. Don't even worry about it.
305
00:11:13,247 --> 00:11:16,181
I was, uh, just wanting to ask.
306
00:11:16,783 --> 00:11:19,284
- You okay?
- You know what's funny?
307
00:11:19,353 --> 00:11:22,087
I've, uh, never had a problem
hearing people's sob stories.
308
00:11:22,156 --> 00:11:23,822
It's, like, that's just words,
309
00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,770
but when you... when you see them,
310
00:11:26,492 --> 00:11:28,417
the people actually hurting,
311
00:11:29,335 --> 00:11:30,829
it's, uh... it's kind of a bummer.
312
00:11:31,181 --> 00:11:33,098
Yeah, um...
313
00:11:33,608 --> 00:11:36,001
Look, Dina, if this
is all just too much,
314
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,169
we could just stop telling people
315
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:38,537
that you made the schedule.
316
00:11:38,605 --> 00:11:39,409
Yeah?
317
00:11:39,410 --> 00:11:41,706
'Cause if it's all the same
to you, maybe we should.
318
00:11:41,775 --> 00:11:44,576
Y... yeah. Although, you know, I mean,
319
00:11:44,645 --> 00:11:46,206
I would hate for people to think
320
00:11:46,207 --> 00:11:47,612
that I demoted you.
321
00:11:47,681 --> 00:11:48,880
- They wouldn't.
- They might.
322
00:11:48,949 --> 00:11:50,015
Oh, it wouldn't bother me if they did.
323
00:11:50,083 --> 00:11:51,016
Yeah, but you also thought
324
00:11:51,084 --> 00:11:52,684
this wouldn't bother you,
325
00:11:53,406 --> 00:11:54,986
and now we're here, so...
326
00:11:55,889 --> 00:11:56,773
Yeah.
327
00:11:57,791 --> 00:12:00,979
You're probably right.
Well, back out there.
328
00:12:03,053 --> 00:12:04,429
I mean, I guess I could...
329
00:12:04,497 --> 00:12:05,477
- Huh?
- Huh?
330
00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:08,499
I didn't say anything. Um, pipes.
331
00:12:08,569 --> 00:12:09,261
Oh.
332
00:12:10,583 --> 00:12:12,003
- Bye.
- What?
333
00:12:12,072 --> 00:12:14,138
Just bye. I was just saying bye.
334
00:12:14,207 --> 00:12:15,636
Oh. Bye.
335
00:12:18,644 --> 00:12:20,611
First the baby wipes were in Baby,
336
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:21,812
then they moved them to Pharmacy,
337
00:12:21,881 --> 00:12:23,620
and now they're back in Baby again.
338
00:12:23,983 --> 00:12:26,149
Uh, isn't the Baby section that way?
339
00:12:26,218 --> 00:12:28,052
Yeah, but we're taking the long way.
340
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:29,720
There's a bunch of white people
over there
341
00:12:29,789 --> 00:12:30,957
and I don't want to get shot.
342
00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:32,550
Oh. Okay.
343
00:12:34,794 --> 00:12:36,860
It's awful. I've been telling everyone
344
00:12:36,929 --> 00:12:38,195
that Dina's the one
who made the schedule,
345
00:12:38,263 --> 00:12:40,698
and she says that she's fine with it,
346
00:12:40,766 --> 00:12:42,165
but I feel weird.
What are you looking at?
347
00:12:42,234 --> 00:12:43,500
Nothing. I'm listening. Keep going.
348
00:12:43,569 --> 00:12:45,202
It just feels like I'm asking her
349
00:12:45,270 --> 00:12:47,071
to take the blame for something I did,
350
00:12:47,139 --> 00:12:48,672
although, you know, it's not my fault
351
00:12:48,741 --> 00:12:50,340
corporate decided to cut the payroll.
352
00:12:50,409 --> 00:12:52,675
- Hmm, hmm! Hmm!
- Jonah, what are you doing?
353
00:12:52,744 --> 00:12:54,677
Just hugging you. Hugging you tightly.
354
00:12:54,746 --> 00:12:56,178
Okay, well, thank you.
355
00:12:56,247 --> 00:12:57,413
Thanks. I feel better now.
356
00:12:57,482 --> 00:12:59,415
- You can stop.
- Hmm, oh, you know what?
357
00:12:59,484 --> 00:13:01,150
Have you seen
the new SodaStream display?
358
00:13:01,219 --> 00:13:03,552
Jonah, what are you doing? I can walk!
359
00:13:03,622 --> 00:13:04,821
Jonah, put me down!
360
00:13:04,889 --> 00:13:07,356
It's just not a good time for me.
361
00:13:07,425 --> 00:13:09,826
My husband just got
laid off from his job,
362
00:13:09,894 --> 00:13:12,528
and the bank wants to
foreclose on our house.
363
00:13:12,597 --> 00:13:13,630
Yeah, yup, yup.
364
00:13:13,698 --> 00:13:14,764
And I just found out I'm pregnant
365
00:13:14,833 --> 00:13:15,965
and I know it's going
to be triplets again.
366
00:13:16,034 --> 00:13:17,500
Don't care. Can't help you.
367
00:13:17,568 --> 00:13:18,635
I make the schedule.
368
00:13:18,703 --> 00:13:20,269
Do you want to see a picture of my dog?
369
00:13:20,338 --> 00:13:21,090
Mm-mm!
370
00:13:21,091 --> 00:13:22,538
He's very sick
371
00:13:22,607 --> 00:13:23,740
and he has alopecia.
372
00:13:23,808 --> 00:13:26,174
No, shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
373
00:13:26,727 --> 00:13:28,926
Oh! Oh, he's so ugly.
374
00:13:29,412 --> 00:13:31,212
Oh, you should put him
out of his misery.
375
00:13:31,656 --> 00:13:33,355
- No!
- That's no way to live.
376
00:13:35,385 --> 00:13:36,618
Mmm. Mmm.
377
00:13:36,687 --> 00:13:38,219
Sorry it's so crunchy.
378
00:13:38,288 --> 00:13:39,888
I can't get water to boil down here,
379
00:13:39,957 --> 00:13:41,857
so it just comes out a little Al dente.
380
00:13:41,924 --> 00:13:42,930
That's fine.
381
00:13:44,094 --> 00:13:46,094
God, out of all the people
that work here,
382
00:13:46,163 --> 00:13:47,796
I can't believe I'm the homeless one.
383
00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:49,131
It's so embarrassing.
384
00:13:49,799 --> 00:13:51,099
Everybody's got something.
385
00:13:51,168 --> 00:13:54,447
Myrtle's super old,
Isaac's got anger issues,
386
00:13:54,554 --> 00:13:56,154
Jonah wears a wig, probably.
387
00:13:56,224 --> 00:13:57,656
Well, I'll tell you one thing, buddy.
388
00:13:57,725 --> 00:14:00,592
It ain't easy.
You would crack in a day.
389
00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:03,054
Well, that seems
needlessly antagonistic.
390
00:14:03,055 --> 00:14:04,629
It's true. You couldn't handle it.
391
00:14:04,698 --> 00:14:07,199
Always worrying
if you're gonna get caught,
392
00:14:07,267 --> 00:14:09,468
wondering what people
would think if they knew.
393
00:14:09,536 --> 00:14:11,103
Oh, I think I could handle it.
394
00:14:11,171 --> 00:14:13,405
Come on. Your cushy little life?
395
00:14:13,474 --> 00:14:15,648
You don't know my life,
and it's not that cushy.
396
00:14:15,649 --> 00:14:17,376
Dude, I'm homeless!
397
00:14:17,444 --> 00:14:19,209
Dude, I'm undocumented.
398
00:14:21,615 --> 00:14:22,780
Seriously?
399
00:14:22,849 --> 00:14:25,517
Yeah, so suck it.
400
00:14:25,585 --> 00:14:26,274
Oh.
401
00:14:27,254 --> 00:14:29,050
Hey, thanks for telling me.
402
00:14:30,590 --> 00:14:32,273
We have each other's secrets now.
403
00:14:32,659 --> 00:14:33,743
Let's make a pact.
404
00:14:34,127 --> 00:14:35,470
I won't say anything about your thing
405
00:14:35,471 --> 00:14:37,729
unless my thing comes out,
and vice versa.
406
00:14:37,797 --> 00:14:41,165
Um, you can't say anything
about my thing.
407
00:14:41,234 --> 00:14:43,467
And I totally won't,
unless my thing gets out.
408
00:14:43,537 --> 00:14:45,540
Ride together, die together.
409
00:14:46,472 --> 00:14:48,213
Oh, God.
410
00:14:49,630 --> 00:14:51,809
Jonah Simms, please come
to Health and Beauty.
411
00:14:51,878 --> 00:14:54,456
Jonah Simms, you're needed
in Health and Beauty.
412
00:15:01,329 --> 00:15:04,486
This is Jonah Simms.
What exactly am I needed for?
413
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:09,109
Uh, customer has a question
about Wet N Wild dry shampoo.
414
00:15:09,110 --> 00:15:12,574
I'm sure someone over there
can help the customer.
415
00:15:12,575 --> 00:15:14,809
You know what?
He asked for you specifically.
416
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,041
They said you had great hair.
417
00:15:17,047 --> 00:15:18,648
Please tell the customer thank you,
418
00:15:18,649 --> 00:15:19,747
but it's genetic.
419
00:15:19,807 --> 00:15:22,068
I think, uh, they would prefer
420
00:15:22,069 --> 00:15:24,016
to hear that from you in person,
421
00:15:24,084 --> 00:15:26,296
and also, he wants to talk about
422
00:15:26,297 --> 00:15:28,622
the "This American Life" podcast.
423
00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:30,939
Uh, and I'd love to do just that,
424
00:15:30,940 --> 00:15:33,557
so perhaps you could bring
the customer over here.
425
00:15:35,362 --> 00:15:37,712
Glenn Sturgis, please come
to Health and Beauty.
426
00:15:37,713 --> 00:15:39,634
Glenn Sturgis, please come
to Health and Beauty.
427
00:15:39,654 --> 00:15:40,553
I'm on my way!
428
00:15:40,553 --> 00:15:41,397
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
429
00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:42,754
Glenn, Glenn, no, no, no, no.
430
00:15:42,755 --> 00:15:45,156
It's just that if I lose my hours,
431
00:15:45,157 --> 00:15:48,482
I can't afford my arthritis medication,
432
00:15:48,483 --> 00:15:50,916
and without my arthritis medication,
433
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:55,094
I can't open the bottle
for my heart medication,
434
00:15:55,095 --> 00:15:58,349
and then it just spirals after that
435
00:15:58,418 --> 00:16:00,218
and then I die.
436
00:16:00,219 --> 00:16:01,519
You know what? I'm... I'm gonna see
437
00:16:01,587 --> 00:16:02,511
what I can do, all right?
438
00:16:02,513 --> 00:16:04,282
You're giving her more hours?
439
00:16:04,283 --> 00:16:06,657
My son is crying in the café right now
440
00:16:06,725 --> 00:16:08,110
because he can't go to Nerd Camp.
441
00:16:08,111 --> 00:16:10,201
Fine, I'll give you both
more hours, okay?
442
00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:12,089
Uh, Dina? Uh, you're just
443
00:16:12,090 --> 00:16:13,621
giving people their hours back?
444
00:16:13,622 --> 00:16:15,662
You are? Can I get mine back too?
445
00:16:15,663 --> 00:16:16,958
- Sure, what the hell?
- No, I don't think she...
446
00:16:16,959 --> 00:16:18,428
Thank you! Thank you.
447
00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:22,215
Oh, you're just giving them
out left and right, huh?
448
00:16:22,216 --> 00:16:23,552
You're like Oprah,
449
00:16:23,553 --> 00:16:25,605
if she didn't stop
to think things through.
450
00:16:26,045 --> 00:16:27,476
- I'll take some hours.
- Done.
451
00:16:27,477 --> 00:16:29,446
- Hey Dina...
- Now go put down your dog.
452
00:16:29,514 --> 00:16:32,586
Um, Dina, I just wanna make
sure you're not promising hours
453
00:16:32,587 --> 00:16:33,820
that don't exist.
454
00:16:33,821 --> 00:16:35,742
Well, we're in it now, aren't we?
455
00:16:35,743 --> 00:16:37,432
All right, who else wants
some hours, huh?
456
00:16:37,433 --> 00:16:39,923
Come and get 'em while they're hot!
457
00:16:41,089 --> 00:16:43,979
Dina, we don't have
the hours to give people!
458
00:16:43,979 --> 00:16:45,844
You can't just go around
459
00:16:45,845 --> 00:16:46,591
giving them out
460
00:16:46,592 --> 00:16:48,578
like you're Ebenezer Scrooge!
461
00:16:48,647 --> 00:16:50,816
- What?
- In the end, once he's nice.
462
00:16:50,817 --> 00:16:53,316
Look, if you want to go
out there and look those people
463
00:16:53,384 --> 00:16:55,384
in their sad little faces
and take back the hours,
464
00:16:55,453 --> 00:16:56,385
be my guest.
465
00:16:56,454 --> 00:16:57,720
Me? No!
466
00:16:57,789 --> 00:17:00,323
You're the one who decided
to play Hour Fairy!
467
00:17:00,391 --> 00:17:02,658
Dina, this is very hard to do
while you're on the floor.
468
00:17:02,727 --> 00:17:03,893
Can you please just get up
for just a second?
469
00:17:03,962 --> 00:17:05,661
Nope. I'm down for the count.
470
00:17:05,730 --> 00:17:07,527
You can grab some floor if you want.
471
00:17:17,642 --> 00:17:19,909
- It's nice, right?
- I guess.
472
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:23,704
What are you...
473
00:17:23,705 --> 00:17:26,149
Could you just...
just give me a little pull?
474
00:17:27,652 --> 00:17:29,067
Okay!
475
00:17:29,987 --> 00:17:32,955
Excuse me, I need
to return a plastic tarp.
476
00:17:33,023 --> 00:17:34,957
When I opened it up,
it had blood on it.
477
00:17:35,651 --> 00:17:36,890
Do you have a receipt?
478
00:17:38,977 --> 00:17:40,276
- Ow!
- Oh, oh!
479
00:17:40,277 --> 00:17:41,444
Are you okay?
480
00:17:41,445 --> 00:17:44,700
Something bit me!
Something [bleep] bit me!
481
00:17:44,769 --> 00:17:45,970
What, I... what? What is...
482
00:17:45,971 --> 00:17:47,803
Ow! Get it off of me!
483
00:17:47,872 --> 00:17:49,171
I don't see it. I don't see it.
484
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:50,740
Get it off! You have
to get the suckers out!
485
00:17:50,808 --> 00:17:52,342
I don't see any suckers!
486
00:17:52,343 --> 00:17:54,253
That's 'cause you're the suckers.
487
00:17:54,254 --> 00:17:56,111
Beep, beep.
488
00:17:56,180 --> 00:17:57,096
You dead, fools.
489
00:17:57,097 --> 00:18:00,415
- Oh, how do you like me now?
- Team Yogurt wins.
490
00:18:00,484 --> 00:18:01,783
You... no. No, no, no, no.
491
00:18:01,852 --> 00:18:03,685
Come on, guys! That is not fair!
492
00:18:03,754 --> 00:18:05,354
That's what losers always say.
493
00:18:05,422 --> 00:18:07,089
No, no, no. Glenn, Glenn.
494
00:18:07,157 --> 00:18:08,857
They got us fair and square, okay?
495
00:18:08,926 --> 00:18:12,227
Or... or did you get yourselves?
496
00:18:12,296 --> 00:18:13,295
- What?
- What?
497
00:18:13,310 --> 00:18:14,812
Well, it's just that
if you look at your scanner,
498
00:18:14,813 --> 00:18:16,768
you'll see that I replaced my price tag
499
00:18:16,769 --> 00:18:18,666
with blueberry yogurt, which is you,
500
00:18:18,735 --> 00:18:21,803
so it looks like you're the suckers.
501
00:18:21,872 --> 00:18:24,172
- Ah, it's a switcheroo!
- No, no, no, no.
502
00:18:24,241 --> 00:18:26,074
No switcheroo. That's just cheating.
503
00:18:26,143 --> 00:18:27,575
We never said we couldn't switch tags.
504
00:18:27,644 --> 00:18:28,777
Yeah, whatever, dude. We won.
505
00:18:28,845 --> 00:18:30,291
- Team Yogurt for life.
- Mm-hmm.
506
00:18:30,292 --> 00:18:31,780
- No.
- Mm-hmm.
507
00:18:31,848 --> 00:18:33,748
- Yogurt, yogurt, yogurt...
- Is it?
508
00:18:33,817 --> 00:18:35,950
No, no. Not yogurt, no. Soup.
509
00:18:36,019 --> 00:18:39,454
- Yogurt, yogurt, yogurt.
- Soup! Soup!
510
00:18:39,523 --> 00:18:41,923
Yogurt.
511
00:18:43,326 --> 00:18:44,239
Yum.
512
00:18:45,529 --> 00:18:47,917
- Jerry?
- Hey, Sandy Bear.
513
00:18:48,799 --> 00:18:50,398
What... what are you doing here?
514
00:18:50,467 --> 00:18:52,934
I'm picking up Carol.
She's making me get a haircut.
515
00:18:53,002 --> 00:18:54,469
She says I look like a hippie.
516
00:18:54,538 --> 00:18:55,470
Oh.
517
00:18:55,539 --> 00:18:57,405
Well, don't take too much off.
518
00:18:57,474 --> 00:18:59,240
- I like your hair.
- Really?
519
00:18:59,309 --> 00:18:59,990
Yeah.
520
00:18:59,991 --> 00:19:02,477
I always thought that you'd
look great with a Mohawk.
521
00:19:02,546 --> 00:19:04,111
See?
522
00:19:04,180 --> 00:19:06,548
You're the only one who gets me.
523
00:19:06,616 --> 00:19:07,982
You know what's weird to think about?
524
00:19:08,388 --> 00:19:10,517
That the default Newton was fig.
525
00:19:11,095 --> 00:19:12,719
I mean, why would you start there?
526
00:19:13,289 --> 00:19:14,914
Yeah, I guess that is random.
527
00:19:14,915 --> 00:19:15,756
You'd think they start
528
00:19:15,757 --> 00:19:17,891
with something more basic,
like strawberry.
529
00:19:17,892 --> 00:19:19,711
Exactly, and then after many years,
530
00:19:19,712 --> 00:19:21,408
and trying many different fruits,
531
00:19:21,409 --> 00:19:23,451
maybe you take a chance on fig.
532
00:19:23,904 --> 00:19:27,491
But, it's not a cookie,
it's a straw-Newton?
533
00:19:27,503 --> 00:19:29,470
That doesn't have the same ring.
534
00:19:29,605 --> 00:19:32,639
I guess.
535
00:19:32,721 --> 00:19:34,433
Well, I guess at some point,
we should discuss
536
00:19:34,434 --> 00:19:35,518
the new schedule and figure out
537
00:19:35,519 --> 00:19:36,944
where those hours are going
to come from.
538
00:19:36,945 --> 00:19:38,620
Yeah.
539
00:19:39,333 --> 00:19:41,261
Hey, what are you watching these days?
540
00:19:41,262 --> 00:19:43,406
Mostly knife trick tutorials
on YouTube.
541
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,379
I can do a double rollout
with a five-inch butterfly.
542
00:19:46,380 --> 00:19:47,795
Grownups watch YouTube?
543
00:19:48,457 --> 00:19:50,346
That's all I watch.
What else do I need?
544
00:19:50,347 --> 00:19:52,932
It has everything you ever want
to see in one place.
545
00:19:56,211 --> 00:19:58,266
Hey, I thought everyone left.
546
00:19:58,267 --> 00:20:02,436
They did but, you know,
you drove me, so...
547
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:05,253
Ah, yes. I forgot. Sorry.
548
00:20:05,254 --> 00:20:07,370
Oh, it's been a rough day.
549
00:20:07,371 --> 00:20:08,037
It has.
550
00:20:08,936 --> 00:20:12,761
Hey, why am I on the schedule
only three hours next week?
551
00:20:12,762 --> 00:20:15,328
Um, so we had to do
some reallocating of hours,
552
00:20:15,329 --> 00:20:16,868
so I just took them off from you.
553
00:20:16,869 --> 00:20:18,074
I hope that's all right.
554
00:20:18,081 --> 00:20:19,564
This is not what I intended
555
00:20:19,565 --> 00:20:21,587
when I started sleeping with the boss.
556
00:20:21,656 --> 00:20:23,463
Big miscalculation on your part.
557
00:20:23,464 --> 00:20:25,591
You know, if I get evicted,
558
00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:27,219
I'm gonna come stay with you.
559
00:20:27,777 --> 00:20:29,578
All right, I could empty some drawers.
560
00:20:32,934 --> 00:20:37,237
I mean, you are over
all the time anyways,
561
00:20:37,305 --> 00:20:42,208
so you could just,
like, stay over or whatever.
562
00:20:42,277 --> 00:20:44,344
I'm sorry, are you asking me
to move in with you?
563
00:20:44,413 --> 00:20:46,779
I'm... I'm saying that
you can move in with me
564
00:20:46,854 --> 00:20:48,439
if you feel like that's what you need.
565
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,950
Oh, you're... you're allowing
me to move in with you.
566
00:20:51,525 --> 00:20:53,190
You're... you're allowed, yes.
567
00:20:56,057 --> 00:20:57,012
Okay, sure.
568
00:20:58,161 --> 00:20:58,955
Why not?
569
00:20:59,793 --> 00:21:03,908
- Okay. Cool.
- Cool.
570
00:21:03,909 --> 00:21:06,422
Hey, the white people
are going out for wings.
571
00:21:06,423 --> 00:21:07,842
You coming?
572
00:21:07,843 --> 00:21:10,254
Oh, no thanks. Have fun, though.
573
00:21:12,551 --> 00:21:14,265
No idea what that was about.
574
00:21:19,046 --> 00:21:21,280
Okay, uh, Jay,
I'm putting you in Grocery.
575
00:21:22,349 --> 00:21:23,549
Sandra, we haven't even started
the Cosmetics reset,
576
00:21:23,551 --> 00:21:24,550
so can you get on that?
577
00:21:24,552 --> 00:21:25,984
- Got it.
- Okay, Carol...
578
00:21:25,986 --> 00:21:27,586
I'm moving you off the register,
579
00:21:27,588 --> 00:21:29,054
and, Cheyenne, I need you in Jewelry.
580
00:21:29,056 --> 00:21:31,723
What? Then no one's
covering Housewares.
581
00:21:31,725 --> 00:21:33,225
I mean, if somebody finds a way
582
00:21:33,227 --> 00:21:35,294
to shoplift a couch,
then they deserve it.
583
00:21:35,296 --> 00:21:37,896
I get that that's a joke,
but in all seriousness, guys,
584
00:21:37,898 --> 00:21:39,898
if you do see someone taking a couch,
585
00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:41,500
walkie oh-three-five.
586
00:21:41,502 --> 00:21:43,335
See something, say something.
587
00:21:43,337 --> 00:21:47,072
And, also, corporate is
asking us to cut hours again.
588
00:21:48,409 --> 00:21:50,675
Yes, I know. I agree. It sucks.
589
00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:51,610
We can barely keep up with
everything there is to do now.
589
00:21:52,305 --> 00:21:58,432
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