All language subtitles for State.of.the.Union.S01E05.Normal.Slope.WEBRip.x264-ION10

- So, how are you?
- Yeah, I'm OK.

- Did you remember my stuff?
- Oh, yes.

Two pairs of socks,

two pairs of pants,
two T-shirts.

You didn't bring a bag?

No, I was in a hurry.

You called at 8:20 this morning,
which, as you may remember

from when you were part
of the family, is a busy time.

I ran to your drawers, I shoved
everything in my work bag.

Well, now what do I do?
Just...

Well, I don't know.

I'll put it back in my bag

and afterwards
we'll find a carrier bag.

Your top drawer,
by the way, is pitiful.

What's wrong with it?

When was the last time
you bought a pair of boxers?

- I don't wear boxers.
- Or any underwear?

I haven't worked for a year.

- So 13 months ago.
- I can't remember.

You have access
to a joint account.

If I saw a payment to Marks
and Spencer's for 50 quid,

I'm not gonna hit the roof.

50 quid?
Is that how much pants cost now?

No, I'm suggesting
you buy several pairs.

Can we change the subject?

What have you said to the kids
about me moving out?

Nothing.

- Nothing?
- Not as such.

OK, well,
what have they said to you?

Well, they...

It just hasn't been mentioned?

I'm not there
and they haven't noticed?

If they ask, I say you're
somewhere else in the house.

I say you're sleeping

or you're listening to music
in the spare room,

you're in the pub.

In the pub?
I'm never in the pub.

No, I know, but they like it,
I think, the dadness of it.

Jesus.

Wow.

How long do you intend
to be gone for?

I don't know.

You don't have to do this.
Nobody asked you to leave.

We had a pretty terrible
few days.

And it all started
with that stupid plaster cast.

Yes.

I thought when you told her
about throwing away the cast,

- it crossed a line.
- It was funny.

- She laughed.
- Yes, she laughed, you laughed.

I was hurt.

I was making a gesture.

Throwing the cast away
was the first step

on the long road
to marital harmony.

Throwing the cast away when
nothing's wrong with your arm

just takes us back
to where we were.

You're still a man with
severe marital difficulties

and two good arms.

I was trying to prove
that I value truth.

Oh, is that why you told
Giles and Anna

that there'd been
a spot of infidelity

when we bumped into them?

Oh, yes, a spot.

I was minimizing it.
Another gesture.

I admit...

I went over the top after that
and things got out of hand.

Sorry for some
of the things I said.

There were some low blows
in there.

Well, inevitable.

It was never your face
I wanted to punch.

I'd have thought
you'd like to encourage

all body parts
below the belt,

not render them unusable.

We should remember that
we're talking metaphorically.

I didn't actually
do anything to them.

Metaphors to the nuts can hurt
just as much as kicks.

- Is that really true?
- I don't know.

It's a slippery slope,
moving out.

It can be hard
to climb back up it.

That's the definition
of a slippery slope.

So you're saying you may not
be able to climb back up,

that you've have
moved out for good?

- Am I?
- Well, if you can't

climb back
up a slippery slope.

I was just pointing out
a linguistic redundancy.

I wasn't announcing
the end of the marriage.

- So no slippery slope?
- No, just...

normal slope

that I can wander
up and down at will.

- No slippage, just exertion.
- Well, that's another thing.

You're not as nimble
as you once were.

I just needed
a few days to think.

- Where do you live, actually?
- Why do you need to know?

It's just one of the useful
pieces of information

a wife might need,

knowing where her husband lives.

I have my mobile on at all hours
in case of emergency.

I'm not worried about
how to get hold of you,

I'm worried
about what state you're in.

I'm perfectly comfortable.

You're somewhere local
that took no effort.

Oh, God.

Oh no, don't tell me
you're at Ketamine Kev's.

No. That didn't work out.

- Oh, Tom.
- I knew it was a bad idea.

Who could have predicted that?

- So, where are you?
- I have a bed

and access to a kettle,
and that's all you need to know.

Why won't you tell me?

There isn't enough mystery
in our relationship.

Isn't that what they say
in all those advice columns?

They're talking about closing
the door when you're peeing,

not refusing to tell
your long-term partner

where you live.

Listen, what are we gonna say
to Kenyon?

I'm surprised
you wanna tell her anything.

Thank you. I didn't realize
that was an option.

I was being sarcastic, Tom.

Of course we're gonna tell her

you've moved
out of the family home

since the last session.
Bloody hell.

Can we keep nothing secret
from that bloody woman?

Why do we have to do
all of our dirty washing

in her launderette?

Besides,
I don't want her to think

that she's not
getting anywhere with us.

It's needlessly cruel.

She'll live, I'm sure.

- What do you need think about?
- What do you mean?

You said you needed
a few days to think.

- Oh, yeah.
- So, what's on the agenda?

Well, everything, really.

What is everything?

The marriage, the...

The, um...

So, what have you thought about

in the two days
you've had so far?

You're putting me on the spot.
What have you thought about?

I was asking you.

I'm just pointing out, it's not
easy to come up with a list.

I'm not the one
who's gone off to think.

I've been thinking a lot
about Matthew.

Right, OK.

Yeah. And what do you think
about him?

Just that he's a bastard and
how much I'd love to kill him.

I've been thinking that
over and over again.

- And is that constructive?
- Works for me.

- I Googled him.
- Oh.

- How do you know his surname?
- I saw an email.

So I Googled him and then I went
to his Facebook page.

Likes his beer, doesn't he?

- No.
- His pies, then.

I was surprised.
He didn't seem like your type.

That England shirt he was
wearing in his profile picture

looked like
it had a football up it.

Well, he isn't fat

and he wouldn't wear
an England shirt.

I think...

I think you may have
the wrong person.

Matthew's actually
quite serious-minded.

I can't see him
having an England shirt,

let alone a Facebook page.

Sounds like loads of fun.

Why did you stop...with him?

Because it was a terrible thing
to do and it made me unhappy.

And if I don't move back in,
will it start up again?

- I shouldn't think so.
- Why not?

This is a pointless
line of questioning.

- Why?
- What are you asking me really?

What do you
actually want to know?

I wanna know if you would
start up with Matthew

in the event
of us splitting up?

But what's the real question?

Just...

Will you start
seeing Matthew again

if we stop being married?

You're saying the same thing
over and over again.

That's what I want to know.
Why wouldn't I wanna know that?

All you need to know is I'm not
going to see Matthew again

- if we don't.
- God, you're brutal.

How is that brutal? I thought
that might be consoling.

You're gonna run off with him
the minute I'm out the door

and I'm supposed
to find that consoling?

Why would you care
if you're gone?

You see, that's the difference
between you and me.

I blame your job.

What's my job got
to do with it?

God, your job is brutal.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Thompson,

"I know you have cancer
but you're 90

"so there's fuck all
we can do for you. Goodbye."

Is that honestly
what you think I do all day?

God. And you wouldn't know
because you never ask.

Because I don't wanna know.
It's depressing.

Who wants to look at old
people's private parts all day?

It's the most depressing job
in the world.

I hardly ever look
at their private parts

because that's not normally
what's wrong with them.

Anyway, they don't have
much bloody use for them

because they shrivel up
and they become useless.

It's happening to us,
now, as we speak.

You know what the irony is?

It's that I work with old people

and you've spent your life
writing about pop music,

thinking about young people,
in other words,

their first albums,
their gigs, their...drugs,

I don't know, their groupies.

Groupies?
Have you read any of my stuff?

I can't see
what bloody use it's had.

You're shuffling round the house
all day in your bathrobe,

asking me to bring you
clean pants.

Come on, make up your mind.
Am I eight or 80?

There's room for confusion.

Whatever it is,
you're not 44.

You're in the prime of your life
and what are you doing with it?

Do you know the real problem
with not having sex?

It makes you crabby.
I can see that. What else?

It makes you
re-evaluate everything.

You live with someone
and you have sex with them

and you think,
"OK, I'm married to him."

I mean, you don't think that.
You don't think at all.

You just get on with it.

But if you take the sex away,

then all I'm doing
is sharing a house

with a bloke
who moans a lot

and pokes fun
at my bedtime reading habits.

I mean, what is he even doing
in bed with me?

I'm just encouraging
you to branch out.

How many Scandinavian women
are there left to kill?

Do you understand
what I'm saying?

Sex is the one thing
that separates you

from everyone else
in my life.

Well, nearly everyone, anyway.

We should go.

- I'm sorry.
- Oh, thank you.

Me too.

I just... I didn't realize
it was that important to you.

Really?

Look, how about I come back
after our therapy session

and we can...

...you know, have a bash,
if you want?

I probably didn't say that
very well.

No.

When you said,
"Have a bash, if you want."

Yes, awful.

Well, I don't want.

Right.

- So, where are we?
- I don't know, Tom,

but unless someone makes
some kind of effort...

And by someone,
I suppose you mean me?