All language subtitles for State of the Union - 01x07 - Call the Midwife.SUND.WEB-DL.x264-ROYALTiES.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com

TOM: Gomorr... Gomorrah'd.

She got Gomorrah'd.

[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY]

Fucking thing.

Oh, I needed that.

- Who is it today?
- Arachne.

Looks like you're getting on okay.

Yeah, not too bad. I'm just...

I hate having to do the
crossword on a bloody A4.

It's always wet or bumpy.

Why have you printed it out?

Why aren't you doing
it in the newspaper?

You've got our newspaper.

- Are you serious?
- You know you have.

It's not our newspaper, is
it? It's just a newspaper.

Why don't you buy another one?

You know that they cost
two quid now, don't you?

That'd be four quid a day.

Except it's not four quid a day
because we're separate people.

We don't live together.

Might as well add up all the money
your friends spend on the Guardian

- and say it's 50 quid a day.
- More like six.

Oh, for God's sakes. You've
got hundreds of friends.

Lots of friends.

Now, look, how about this?

If you move back in,
don't buy a second paper.

Oh, my God, how is
this about our marriage?

How come every conversation
ends up at our marriage?

I thought that a stupid printout
of a crossword was safe ground.

- You've never heard of subtext?
- Yes,

but I think you're
reading too much into it,

as my mother used to say when
I talked to her about Bob Dylan.

- Was she right or wrong?
- She was wrong. I'm right.

Sometimes a crossword
is just a crossword

and it's hard to do when
the paper gets wet.

This conversation could have
gone an entirely different way.

For instance?

You could have not
mentioned the wet paper.

Well, I wouldn't have, had I known

that complaining about
the wet paper, and...

Believe me. I know it's
not a frivolous complaint.

If I had known that complaining
about the wet paper

was gonna turn into the opening
scene of a Bergman film.

Shall we just start this again?

- That's better.
- Now the fucking ink's blotchy.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

- Have I gone wrong already?
- Yes.

How?

I wanted you to ask me
what sort of day I've had.

How was I supposed to know that?

What sort of day have you had?

- It's too late now.
- Oh.

Have you noticed how we
only seem to be able to talk

- about the last few seconds?
- That's not true. Is it?

Yes. We start talking and then
somebody says the wrong thing.

Then we spend the rest of the time

talking about the wrong
thing somebody said.

Happens in here, it
happens in counseling.

We always come out in exactly
the same place we went in.

Or a little further back, usually.

- Well, how do we stop that?
- I don't know.

What happened last week?

I can't remember. I remember...

we were having a conversation
about our future spouses,

which we both rather enjoyed.

Then what? Oh, she asked
us how the week had been.

Yeah, she always does that.

Yes, and then...

Did we have the argument

about the cost of the
cat's anti-depressants?

Or was that the week before?

Oh, my God, it was Call the Midwife.

Oh, yes.

- That didn't get us very far.
- Well, I thought it was useful.

In what way?

Well, she interrupted
you a couple of times

to let me finish. You
never let me finish.

So it taught me the value
of counseling in safe spaces.

I only interrupt when you
talk about Call the Midwife

because there's no end to your loathing.

You know, I quite enjoy it.
I find it rather relaxing.

- Well, you shouldn't.
- I shouldn't?

Why can't you find the films
of Preston Sturges relaxing?

- Can I make a confession?
- Within reason.

I don't really like
black and white movies.

I mean, I can see that
they're good, some of them.

But I just... There's
something about them

that feels a bit like
eating your greens.

- The Palm Beach Story?
- Yes.

- Maltese Falcon?
- Yes.

- Jules et Jim?
- Yes.

I feel... I'm worried. I'm worried here

that you're gonna name every
black and white film ever made

- and I'm gonna say yes to all of them.
- Oh, my God,

I just... I had no idea.

I'm just not a critic. You
know? I like what I like.

You like what you like?

Oh, man.

I mean, I just never thought
I'd end up with someone

who would say that and mean it.

I mean, what does that make me?

I don't know. Maybe you're
reading too much into it.

But this is the trouble.
Marriage is like a computer.

You open it up to see what's inside

and then you're left with
a million little bits.

Yeah, but how about this? We
shove the big parts back in,

chuck all the small ones away,

close it up and get on with things.

- But it won't work.
- It won't work

- but it will look like a computer.
- Is that what you're after?

You're after marriage that looks
like a marriage but won't function?

It might be better
than the one I've got now.

Because at the moment I have a
husband who won't sleep with me

and lives somewhere else.

I might as well tell everyone
I'm married to Brad Pitt.

Okay, well, good luck getting him
to watch Call the bloody Midwife.

He doesn't have to watch it.

He just has to not bang on
about how much he hates it.

Okay, we're drifting off the subject.

Shall we do a couple of
crossword clues before we go in

as a kind of morale-boosting exercise?

Oh, God, that's wet.
That's a bit annoying.

Um... "Game of cricket
put strain on marriage".

- Test match.
- That's a pretty easy one.

I usually leave those till the end.

Remember we're team-building,
not point-scoring.

Okay. "Party touring Russian
capital to shared bed."

Are you just picking out
the clues about marriage?

No. Shared bed doesn't mean marriage.

- As we now know.
- okay, let's do another one.

Right, 12 across. We need that one.

"Rogue caught mate dividing loot."

- Ignore the word "mate".
- Oh, no, I can't. It's a crossword.

Begins with S, ends with G.

Okay, well, loot is swag.

- So...
- Scallywag.

Scallywag.

Ally... in the swag.

Oh, all right. Good. Morale
boosted, team rebuilt.

Shall we actually make a plan
for this evening's session?

Let's not go in there and start arguing

about something completely
bloody irrelevant.

Let's go in with an agenda.

What are the big pieces

that we want to shove
back into the computer?

I don't even know if
computers have big pieces.

Well, they must. They must.

I mean, there's batteries
and valves and, um...

Not microchips. They're small.

You know, I could take apart
that dead computer at the house.

I could bring it home after
I've had dinner with the boys.

Would that be a good use of your time?

I mean, as good as anything else.

I hate you not having anything to do.

Oh, thank you. So do I.

I suppose I meant it sympathetically,
but also I... I just...

I find it embarrassing.

- Oh.
- Sorry.

You haven't started that biography yet?

I'm still researching.

I may need to go to Cabo Verde.

So, where your guy came from?
What was his name again?

Horace Silver.

Really? I thought you decided
on someone else in the end.

- Turned out to not be the end.
- Right.

So, Horace came from Cabo Verde?

No, his Dad.

You're going to Cabo Verde because
that's where his Dad was born?

How many copies is
this book going to sell?

Not nearly enough to cover
the cost of the flight.

- So...
- Yes, expensive,

and, you know, pointless.

I probably won't go.

Probably won't even write the book.

I don't know why I say any of this shit.

To give yourself hope.
That's understandable.

Yeah, but I don't think
there is much hope.

I mean...

the world has changed.

Nobody wants a music writer.

There's no paid work. Time has moved on.

I'm like a... I'm like a
coal miner or a blacksmith.

What's it like being married
to an unemployed blacksmith?

Look, you couldn't
see the internet coming

just like blacksmiths
couldn't see cars coming.

They should have seen
cars coming. I mean...

It was only a matter of time.

So you're saying you're
smarter than a blacksmith?

Not as such. I'm just saying
if my father had been a blacksmith

and then he had given
me the keys to his shop,

I would have been like,
"Hold on. Hold on, Dad.

"This is in... This is
in the past, isn't it?"

Right, so now if you prove to me

that you are smarter than a blacksmith,

how far down the road towards
marital harmony will it get us?

- I was just defending myself.
- No, you weren't.

you were attacking blacksmiths
for their bad choices.

I need to take pleasure
where I can get it.

Attacking blacksmiths is
pretty much where I'm at.

Are you thinking we
should give Kenyon up?

Yes.

A thousand times... Yes, every week.

- Why, are you?
- [WHISPERS] I don't know.

We're going backwards, like you said.

Oh!

Well, he's not getting any quicker.

Well, she is a counselor,
not a personal trainer.

How are you getting on?

- What?
- With Kenyon?

We couldn't help but notice you
knocking on the door last week.

Eh, I mean, I believe it's
a private matter, isn't it?

- We've watched you coming out.
- No.

Speak for yourself. I'm sorry about her.

I'm not interested in other
people's personal business.

WOMAN: We think she's very good.

We've been seeing her
on and off for years.

You know, different problems,
different stages of life.

At the beginning you have
to get through all the hurt

and all the petty niggles.

It takes time, but you're
young and you've got lots of it.

Anyway...

Good luck.

That was rather sweet,
didn't you think? Like a film.

An elderly woman gives a
younger couple good advice

- and saves their marriage.
- Yeah.

It was like a color
film if ever I saw one.

Did you hear what she said? Years
and years of hurt and niggle?

Well, maybe we can do it quicker.

Not at the rate we're going.

Not with Call the Midwife
and soggy-crossword-gate.

We'll be going here for 50 years.

All right, so let's get down to it.

What does that mean?

Give it to each other straight.

- No more subtext?
- No, no more subtext.

Oh, okay. Bring it on.

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com