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1
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I've got homework.
Who called the family meeting?
2
00:00:03,563 --> 00:00:06,998
I did. We have a problem.
3
00:00:07,133 --> 00:00:08,532
Wait, there's no push-back
4
00:00:08,601 --> 00:00:10,334
on me calling a family meeting?
5
00:00:10,403 --> 00:00:11,602
Aww. I love you guys.
6
00:00:11,671 --> 00:00:13,003
Stop!
7
00:00:13,072 --> 00:00:14,572
Down!
8
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,441
College-application time.
9
00:00:17,510 --> 00:00:18,835
JJ's not taking it seriously.
10
00:00:18,914 --> 00:00:21,512
Seniors were supposed
to hand in this essay a week ago.
11
00:00:21,581 --> 00:00:24,215
Why haven't you done it?
It's really important.
12
00:00:24,283 --> 00:00:25,716
"It is.
13
00:00:25,785 --> 00:00:28,385
But there's so much good TV these days."
14
00:00:28,454 --> 00:00:31,489
Living in the golden age
of content is no excuse, JJ.
15
00:00:31,557 --> 00:00:32,556
Your father and I will support
16
00:00:32,625 --> 00:00:33,591
whatever hopes you have for college,
17
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,059
but you got to take the lead.
18
00:00:35,128 --> 00:00:35,993
Let's talk essay.
19
00:00:36,062 --> 00:00:37,928
What is your passion?
20
00:00:40,399 --> 00:00:42,700
P-O-O...
21
00:00:42,768 --> 00:00:44,568
No, JJ, not buying it.
22
00:00:44,637 --> 00:00:46,504
Pretending you have to poop
has gotten you out of enough jams.
23
00:00:46,572 --> 00:00:48,472
You have passions.
24
00:00:48,541 --> 00:00:50,407
Let's put our heads together.
We got this.
25
00:00:51,811 --> 00:00:53,177
I've got it!
26
00:00:53,246 --> 00:00:54,545
What's your passion?
27
00:00:54,614 --> 00:00:57,014
"Short essays." Done. Eh?
28
00:00:57,083 --> 00:01:00,351
We all hate it when you try
and think outside the box.
29
00:01:00,419 --> 00:01:02,019
Yeah.
30
00:01:02,088 --> 00:01:04,021
Oh, I know! Giving back to society.
31
00:01:04,090 --> 00:01:05,723
When has he ever?
32
00:01:05,791 --> 00:01:07,224
Never. He'll start. Type.
33
00:01:07,293 --> 00:01:09,426
"...and make our world
34
00:01:09,495 --> 00:01:12,663
a better place for us all."
35
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Perfect. JJ?
36
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That is not what you just said to him.
37
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I told him what he needed to hear.
38
00:01:21,174 --> 00:01:24,909
Oh, you can't be mad, though,
can you? TV's too bloody good.
39
00:01:24,977 --> 00:01:28,846
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
40
00:01:28,915 --> 00:01:30,314
Mom, Dad?
41
00:01:30,383 --> 00:01:31,515
I don't ask for much.
42
00:01:31,584 --> 00:01:33,083
I don't drive a fancy car
43
00:01:33,152 --> 00:01:35,419
or wear the latest fashions from Milan.
44
00:01:37,117 --> 00:01:38,522
Can I have a pet snake?
45
00:01:38,591 --> 00:01:40,090
- Don't be ridiculous!
- Not on your life.
46
00:01:40,159 --> 00:01:41,258
I understand.
47
00:01:46,044 --> 00:01:49,466
So, you're gonna be a secret snake.
48
00:01:49,535 --> 00:01:51,001
Sssssss!
49
00:01:52,405 --> 00:01:54,004
What is it, darling?
50
00:01:54,073 --> 00:01:55,539
Danton College?
51
00:01:55,608 --> 00:01:57,074
That's six hours away.
52
00:01:57,143 --> 00:01:59,076
"But it's good for"...
53
00:01:59,145 --> 00:02:00,744
E-N... "engineering.
54
00:02:00,813 --> 00:02:01,946
It's my passion."
55
00:02:02,014 --> 00:02:03,047
Really?
56
00:02:03,115 --> 00:02:04,248
Buddy, you do know that an engineer
57
00:02:04,317 --> 00:02:06,984
isn't the guy who drives
the train, right?
58
00:02:07,053 --> 00:02:10,521
He also has to inspect
and maintain the train.
59
00:02:10,590 --> 00:02:13,591
"I want to make things.
60
00:02:13,659 --> 00:02:15,559
My life is a "... P-U..." puzzle.
61
00:02:15,628 --> 00:02:20,364
I want to find solutions
and help people."
62
00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:21,765
Well, that is beautiful.
63
00:02:21,834 --> 00:02:23,500
I told you we were good parents!
64
00:02:23,569 --> 00:02:24,568
Agree to disagree.
65
00:02:24,637 --> 00:02:26,604
JJ, engineering is your passion?
66
00:02:26,672 --> 00:02:27,838
You've never mentioned it.
67
00:02:27,907 --> 00:02:29,940
"I didn't think it was"...
68
00:02:30,009 --> 00:02:33,477
P-O... "possible until now."
69
00:02:33,546 --> 00:02:35,646
Oh, they've got a tour this weekend.
70
00:02:35,715 --> 00:02:37,214
"Can we go?
71
00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:39,750
It would be a"... D-R... "dream."
72
00:02:41,921 --> 00:02:43,854
Look at his face.
73
00:02:43,923 --> 00:02:45,656
It's six hours away. It's not practical.
74
00:02:45,725 --> 00:02:47,491
I think we have to have
a hard conversation.
75
00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,160
Let me take this one?
76
00:02:50,229 --> 00:02:52,529
Buddy, we believe in you,
77
00:02:52,598 --> 00:02:55,799
but you going to a college
that far away...
78
00:02:55,868 --> 00:02:56,800
Overruled!
79
00:02:56,869 --> 00:02:57,935
How dare you limit our son?!
80
00:02:58,004 --> 00:03:00,004
JJ, go and pack.
81
00:03:00,072 --> 00:03:01,605
Did you know we were going to do that?
82
00:03:01,674 --> 00:03:05,042
You know what, don't tell me.
Ruins the magic.
83
00:03:05,111 --> 00:03:07,945
Gents. Parents are away for the weekend.
84
00:03:08,014 --> 00:03:09,413
Throwing a little get-together.
85
00:03:09,482 --> 00:03:11,815
You guys are invited.
86
00:03:11,884 --> 00:03:13,284
"A night of fantasy gaming.
87
00:03:13,352 --> 00:03:14,285
When the parents are away,
88
00:03:14,353 --> 00:03:17,054
the kids shall... roleplay?"
89
00:03:17,123 --> 00:03:18,589
Uh...
90
00:03:18,658 --> 00:03:20,724
Yeah, we'll see.
91
00:03:22,061 --> 00:03:24,728
All right, seven yeses.
92
00:03:26,132 --> 00:03:28,832
Ray, buddy, no one's gonna go to this.
93
00:03:28,901 --> 00:03:30,701
Those kids want to go to parties.
94
00:03:30,770 --> 00:03:31,902
Oh, no, this high school
95
00:03:31,971 --> 00:03:33,404
doesn't actually have parties.
96
00:03:33,472 --> 00:03:35,739
That stuff's just a myth
created by Hollywood elites.
97
00:03:38,744 --> 00:03:40,711
Oh, Ray...
98
00:03:40,780 --> 00:03:42,179
This high school has parties?
99
00:03:42,248 --> 00:03:43,380
Mm-hmm.
100
00:03:43,449 --> 00:03:45,449
All right, new plan...
I'm throwing a real party.
101
00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:46,984
And as the coolest guy I know,
102
00:03:47,053 --> 00:03:49,186
I want you to handle the guest list.
103
00:03:49,255 --> 00:03:50,220
Oh, invite your brother!
104
00:03:50,289 --> 00:03:52,356
You for real? My brother's crazy.
105
00:03:52,425 --> 00:03:55,059
I want him... and his friends.
106
00:03:55,127 --> 00:03:57,161
And tell him to bring...
107
00:03:57,229 --> 00:03:58,462
...liquid refreshments.
108
00:03:58,531 --> 00:03:59,563
It's your party.
109
00:03:59,632 --> 00:04:02,099
Also, remind me,
do parties at this school
110
00:04:02,168 --> 00:04:04,101
usually have, like, themes?
111
00:04:04,170 --> 00:04:05,402
What? No.
112
00:04:05,471 --> 00:04:07,905
I was just kidding, Justin.
113
00:04:07,973 --> 00:04:09,873
Comedy.
114
00:04:14,513 --> 00:04:17,147
Come on, Dylan! Let's get on the road!
115
00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:18,949
Coming!
116
00:04:19,018 --> 00:04:21,051
Off to college, Dylan Junior.
117
00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:22,820
I'll miss... you.
118
00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:25,656
Snakes can escape?!
119
00:04:27,793 --> 00:04:28,926
What were you doing back there?
120
00:04:28,994 --> 00:04:31,628
I'm... restoring an antique piano.
121
00:04:31,697 --> 00:04:32,730
Oh, okay.
122
00:04:32,798 --> 00:04:34,431
Have a good weekend, guys. Ta-ta.
123
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,166
Wait. Ray's staying here?
124
00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:38,569
Yeah, we weren't sure about leaving
a teenager alone for the weekend,
125
00:04:38,637 --> 00:04:41,405
but, I mean, the guy just said, "Ta-ta."
126
00:04:43,843 --> 00:04:47,978
Let's just hope this isn't
the big... ta-ta.
127
00:04:51,384 --> 00:04:54,385
Finally! A little love around here.
128
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:01,625
Aah!
129
00:05:01,694 --> 00:05:03,827
Ohh! Ohh, that's a nail!
130
00:05:03,896 --> 00:05:05,262
That's a nail!
131
00:05:05,331 --> 00:05:07,464
Ohh! Ohh! Mommy, come home!
132
00:05:10,903 --> 00:05:14,338
'Sup, Ray? Party's in here, boys.
133
00:05:14,407 --> 00:05:16,640
What is this? Who are all these kids?
134
00:05:16,709 --> 00:05:18,642
You said to invite
my brother and his friends.
135
00:05:18,711 --> 00:05:20,611
I meant your cool older brother.
136
00:05:20,679 --> 00:05:22,112
Why would he come to your party?
137
00:05:22,181 --> 00:05:23,414
The dude's got a moustache.
138
00:05:23,482 --> 00:05:25,015
Thanks, Justin. I owe you.
139
00:05:25,084 --> 00:05:27,184
I'm gonna hold you to that, Karen.
140
00:05:28,354 --> 00:05:29,586
What the hell is happening?!
141
00:05:29,655 --> 00:05:31,989
Babysitting ring, bro. I make mad coin.
142
00:05:32,057 --> 00:05:33,924
And, uh, the moms
ain't that bad, either.
143
00:05:33,993 --> 00:05:35,092
Have a fun party, Ray.
144
00:05:35,161 --> 00:05:36,293
You're not even staying?
145
00:05:36,362 --> 00:05:38,228
Oh, heads up. If Trevor
has peanuts, he'll die.
146
00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:40,497
Don't let him trick you.
Dude loves peanuts.
147
00:05:42,168 --> 00:05:43,600
Sucks for Trevor.
148
00:05:43,669 --> 00:05:47,137
Hey, can I have some peanuts?
My name's Chase.
149
00:05:47,206 --> 00:05:50,507
This place is gorgeous.
Look at this quad.
150
00:05:50,576 --> 00:05:53,377
Quad? At these prices,
it should be a quint!
151
00:05:53,446 --> 00:05:55,879
Laughing at great jokes is un-PC now, huh?
152
00:05:55,948 --> 00:05:57,014
Snowflakes.
153
00:05:57,082 --> 00:05:58,382
What do you think of this place, JJ?
154
00:05:58,451 --> 00:06:00,851
"It's perfect."
155
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:02,586
Should we go find that tour?
156
00:06:02,655 --> 00:06:03,654
"There's a"...
157
00:06:03,722 --> 00:06:07,791
S-T... "student-only tour
I want to take."
158
00:06:07,860 --> 00:06:10,694
So independent.
All right, go forth, son.
159
00:06:10,763 --> 00:06:12,029
Come back with dreadlocks
160
00:06:12,097 --> 00:06:13,697
and tell me how everything
I know is incorrect.
161
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:16,633
We are gonna break his heart.
162
00:06:16,702 --> 00:06:18,669
Set aside the fact that
this place is six hours away,
163
00:06:18,737 --> 00:06:20,571
we're never gonna be able
to afford this tuition.
164
00:06:20,639 --> 00:06:22,606
Oh, come on. Of course...
165
00:06:22,675 --> 00:06:24,808
Good God!
166
00:06:24,877 --> 00:06:26,777
That's just for JJ?
167
00:06:26,846 --> 00:06:28,579
Why do we have so many children?
168
00:06:28,647 --> 00:06:29,880
Uh, look, you know what,
169
00:06:29,949 --> 00:06:32,082
we'll go by the financial-aid
office and have a talk.
170
00:06:32,151 --> 00:06:34,117
You just couldn't keep your
bloody hands off me, could you?
171
00:06:35,488 --> 00:06:37,120
JJ, where are you going?
172
00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:39,790
You said the tour
was meeting back there.
173
00:06:39,859 --> 00:06:43,427
"We're not here for the tour."
174
00:06:45,331 --> 00:06:46,997
Are they filming a movie?
175
00:06:47,066 --> 00:06:48,565
JJ?
176
00:06:48,634 --> 00:06:49,633
JJ DiMeo's here!
177
00:06:49,702 --> 00:06:52,336
Wait! JJ, you're in this?
178
00:06:52,404 --> 00:06:54,204
We didn't come here
so you could tour the college,
179
00:06:54,273 --> 00:06:56,340
we came here so you could
be in some movie?
180
00:06:56,408 --> 00:06:58,108
This isn't "some movie."
181
00:06:58,177 --> 00:07:01,612
This is "Bikini University 3:
Horny Homecoming."
182
00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:08,418
"I'm sorry, I'm gross."
183
00:07:08,487 --> 00:07:10,923
No, it's what you should have said.
184
00:07:12,369 --> 00:07:14,143
JJ!
185
00:07:14,276 --> 00:07:16,410
I'm Frank Dante, the director.
186
00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:18,445
So glad you answered our ad.
187
00:07:18,514 --> 00:07:19,480
"It's an honor.
188
00:07:19,548 --> 00:07:22,182
I loved 'Bikini University 2:
189
00:07:22,251 --> 00:07:23,484
- The Dean's"...
- Ahh!
190
00:07:23,552 --> 00:07:24,985
R-E... "Revenge.'"
191
00:07:25,054 --> 00:07:26,787
Kid, you don't know
how happy that makes me.
192
00:07:26,856 --> 00:07:28,055
People say that today's teens
193
00:07:28,123 --> 00:07:30,190
don't want raunchy comedies
like "Bikini U."
194
00:07:30,259 --> 00:07:35,362
"I do. Gimme. Gimme. Gimme."
195
00:07:36,732 --> 00:07:37,831
"Gimme."
196
00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:39,466
I like this kid!
197
00:07:39,535 --> 00:07:41,602
JJ! Mom and Dad are gonna kill you
198
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:44,505
when I tell them why we're really here.
199
00:07:44,573 --> 00:07:48,642
"If you do, I'll tell them
about your S..."
200
00:07:48,711 --> 00:07:50,611
You know about my snake?!
201
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:53,480
How? We've been so careful
when I haven't lost him.
202
00:07:53,549 --> 00:07:55,949
Hi! We're gonna be working together!
203
00:07:56,018 --> 00:07:59,086
I'm Ally, but my character's
name is Bikini Boobs.
204
00:07:59,154 --> 00:08:00,921
"I'm JJ.
205
00:08:00,990 --> 00:08:04,691
My character is Bikini Boobs...
206
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:08,962
In Face... Wheelchair Boy."
207
00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:12,733
You suck. Like, a lot.
208
00:08:12,801 --> 00:08:14,902
We have many financial-aid
packages available.
209
00:08:14,970 --> 00:08:16,703
Take a look.
210
00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:20,607
Pauline, do you know,
211
00:08:20,676 --> 00:08:22,442
I've never said this to a woman before.
212
00:08:22,511 --> 00:08:24,344
But I want to make you
fall in love with me,
213
00:08:24,413 --> 00:08:27,314
give myself to you... once...
then break your heart.
214
00:08:27,383 --> 00:08:28,882
And when you ask me why,
215
00:08:28,951 --> 00:08:31,318
I'm gonna say, "'Cause of that chart."
216
00:08:31,387 --> 00:08:33,754
That was fun. Uh, wait,
this looks interesting.
217
00:08:33,822 --> 00:08:35,355
Uh, 80% off tuition?
218
00:08:35,424 --> 00:08:37,124
Uh, that's for kids of Danton employees.
219
00:08:37,192 --> 00:08:38,292
Oh, we can do that.
220
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:39,660
I'll move up here and I'll get a job.
221
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:40,761
But what would you do?
222
00:08:40,829 --> 00:08:41,962
Clerical work, be an assistant.
223
00:08:42,031 --> 00:08:43,196
You know, I'll start at the bottom.
224
00:08:44,934 --> 00:08:45,799
Why are you laughing?
225
00:08:45,868 --> 00:08:47,367
You, starting at the bottom.
226
00:08:47,436 --> 00:08:49,436
Answering to someone, taking orders...
227
00:08:49,505 --> 00:08:50,823
You know what?
Actually, could you get me that pen?
228
00:08:50,847 --> 00:08:52,102
- Get it yourself.
- Yeah, that was a test.
229
00:08:52,127 --> 00:08:55,142
- You want to know how you did?
- So I'm a natural alpha.
230
00:08:55,210 --> 00:08:56,343
Sue me.
231
00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:58,412
Look, if I've got to slum it
to help my son,
232
00:08:58,480 --> 00:08:59,513
then that's what I'll do.
233
00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:01,911
Don't believe me? Look, I'll show you.
234
00:09:02,651 --> 00:09:04,751
- Your pen.
- That's actually my pen.
235
00:09:04,820 --> 00:09:07,220
Lady, I've had it up to here with you!
236
00:09:09,992 --> 00:09:11,592
Oh, it's so loud.
237
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:13,126
Just be quiet!
238
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:19,266
Ugh. Don't do that. Now it's just eerie.
239
00:09:20,803 --> 00:09:22,235
Ray!
240
00:09:22,304 --> 00:09:24,938
You got me out of a hot tub
with a Shakira look-alike
241
00:09:25,007 --> 00:09:27,107
to show me you started a daycare center?
242
00:09:27,176 --> 00:09:29,443
I tried to throw a party with
the coolest kids from school,
243
00:09:29,511 --> 00:09:31,311
and this is who showed up.
244
00:09:31,380 --> 00:09:33,647
I'm a total loser.
245
00:09:33,716 --> 00:09:35,515
Hey, Ray, come on.
246
00:09:35,584 --> 00:09:36,984
This could be a good thing.
247
00:09:37,052 --> 00:09:38,652
You want to be cool?
248
00:09:38,721 --> 00:09:41,188
Start with an easy crowd first.
249
00:09:41,256 --> 00:09:42,756
Kevin Hart did open mics
250
00:09:42,825 --> 00:09:44,625
before he could fill stadiums.
251
00:09:44,693 --> 00:09:46,293
Baseball players start in the minors
252
00:09:46,362 --> 00:09:47,728
before they hit the big leagues.
253
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:51,565
Or rock stars.
There's a lot of examples.
254
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,767
I guess it's a very basic concept.
255
00:09:53,836 --> 00:09:56,169
How do I even impress 10-year-olds?
256
00:09:56,238 --> 00:09:57,270
Well, it's easy.
257
00:09:57,339 --> 00:09:58,905
Hey, yo! Listen up!
258
00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:00,574
This guy right here...
259
00:10:01,677 --> 00:10:03,410
...he just said the "A" word.
260
00:10:06,749 --> 00:10:08,448
Yeah, no, I'm not above this.
261
00:10:08,517 --> 00:10:11,018
Okay, so, Dean Dinkins does his line...
262
00:10:11,086 --> 00:10:13,286
"Shut this party down
before you ruin everything!
263
00:10:13,355 --> 00:10:14,621
I'm trying to sell this college,
264
00:10:14,690 --> 00:10:15,856
and I won't have you blow it!"
265
00:10:15,924 --> 00:10:19,493
Then I say to JJ,
"Your nose looks cold."
266
00:10:19,561 --> 00:10:23,030
And then I stick my chest
in your face...
267
00:10:23,098 --> 00:10:24,131
Then the dean talks.
268
00:10:24,199 --> 00:10:26,667
"Shouldn't we rehearse that part?"
269
00:10:26,735 --> 00:10:28,969
Oh, no. That part's easy.
270
00:10:29,038 --> 00:10:31,338
JJ, why is your nose even cold?
271
00:10:31,407 --> 00:10:33,974
Oh, because the frat guys
locked him in a freezer.
272
00:10:34,043 --> 00:10:35,042
But then I come and warm him up.
273
00:10:36,378 --> 00:10:38,645
"What might that look like?"
274
00:10:38,714 --> 00:10:41,148
Ugh, I'm really struggling
with my character.
275
00:10:41,216 --> 00:10:42,249
Hopefully, I'll just be amazing
276
00:10:42,317 --> 00:10:43,350
when we shoot it, for some reason.
277
00:10:43,419 --> 00:10:45,852
"One"... S-U... "suggestion.
278
00:10:45,921 --> 00:10:50,057
Say your line as you're walking out."
279
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:54,995
I like it. Do you direct?
280
00:10:55,064 --> 00:10:58,265
"No, I just watch lots of movies."
281
00:10:58,333 --> 00:11:00,300
Thanks, Boobs in Face Wheelchair Boy.
282
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:05,372
Hello. I have the groceries you ordered.
283
00:11:05,441 --> 00:11:06,740
You're the person the app sent?
284
00:11:06,809 --> 00:11:08,175
I know I don't look the part,
285
00:11:08,243 --> 00:11:09,376
but I'm using this app
286
00:11:09,445 --> 00:11:10,944
to prove I can take orders
and hold a job
287
00:11:11,013 --> 00:11:12,746
so my son can attend
the school of his dreams.
288
00:11:12,815 --> 00:11:13,847
No, I was just confused.
289
00:11:13,916 --> 00:11:16,183
It says here you're a man named Mayo.
290
00:11:16,251 --> 00:11:20,520
A thousand apologies, oh, great Dave G.
291
00:11:20,589 --> 00:11:22,255
This was the best grapefruit?
292
00:11:22,324 --> 00:11:24,825
Well, you asked for
the "dankest grapefruit,"
293
00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:26,193
which seemed subjective.
294
00:11:26,261 --> 00:11:27,461
And I asked for Advil.
295
00:11:27,529 --> 00:11:28,628
Oh, I got you the generic brand.
296
00:11:28,697 --> 00:11:30,230
It's the same thing.
I saved you 3 bucks.
297
00:11:30,299 --> 00:11:32,299
You should've gotten me Advil.
This stuff sucks.
298
00:11:32,367 --> 00:11:33,767
It's literally the same thing.
299
00:11:33,836 --> 00:11:34,835
Are you arguing with me?
300
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:37,637
No! I'm being correct near an idiot.
301
00:11:41,110 --> 00:11:44,010
Hey, Ray, we wanted
to play some Minecraft.
302
00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:45,445
What are your rules on screen time?
303
00:11:45,514 --> 00:11:46,980
It's a party, man.
304
00:11:47,049 --> 00:11:49,116
Unlimited... within reason.
305
00:11:49,184 --> 00:11:50,083
- Yes!
- Yes!
306
00:11:50,152 --> 00:11:52,486
Dude, I saw this kit in the store.
307
00:11:52,554 --> 00:11:54,087
The box says 16 and older.
308
00:11:54,156 --> 00:11:56,590
Wish I'd known that when I built it.
309
00:11:56,658 --> 00:11:58,525
When I was 13.
310
00:11:58,594 --> 00:11:59,459
Whoa.
311
00:11:59,528 --> 00:12:01,328
Juice box me.
312
00:12:03,465 --> 00:12:04,731
It's all good.
313
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,000
I know what "doing it" is.
314
00:12:07,069 --> 00:12:09,770
He gave you one star,
and the comment is,
315
00:12:09,838 --> 00:12:11,338
"Why can't I give zero stars?"
316
00:12:11,406 --> 00:12:12,372
Oh, for God's sake!
317
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,374
I had no idea how hard it was
318
00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:15,842
to let people walk all over you.
319
00:12:15,911 --> 00:12:17,177
What can I say, some of us just have
320
00:12:17,246 --> 00:12:19,412
a flair for being emasculated.
321
00:12:19,481 --> 00:12:20,947
Look, this place is crazy expensive.
322
00:12:21,016 --> 00:12:22,482
I-I don't think it's meant to be.
323
00:12:22,551 --> 00:12:25,519
- We'll talk to JJ, and it'll be okay.
- Okay.
324
00:12:25,587 --> 00:12:28,155
This grapefruit is not dank!
325
00:12:28,223 --> 00:12:31,158
Well, feed it to your three
"Scarface" posters, jackass!
326
00:12:31,226 --> 00:12:32,893
You would not believe
327
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,628
how often people come up to me and say,
328
00:12:34,696 --> 00:12:38,131
"Frank, I love the 'Bikini
University' movies,
329
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,467
and I'm a woman."
330
00:12:43,205 --> 00:12:45,472
Uh-oh. Mom and Dad.
331
00:12:45,541 --> 00:12:47,574
"Where's JJ? We need to talk."
332
00:12:47,643 --> 00:12:49,609
It's almost time for your big scene, JJ.
333
00:12:50,879 --> 00:12:52,312
Wait. What's wrong?
334
00:12:55,684 --> 00:12:58,185
"Want to do some real acting?"
335
00:13:00,022 --> 00:13:01,588
Hey.
336
00:13:01,657 --> 00:13:02,823
We thought you guys were on the tour.
337
00:13:02,891 --> 00:13:05,325
We're sorry, but it's not
a realistic option.
338
00:13:05,394 --> 00:13:08,161
Can we start heading back
and talk about it in the car?
339
00:13:08,230 --> 00:13:10,764
JJ, there you are! I brought someone.
340
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:13,233
Dean Dinkins, this is JJ DiMeo.
341
00:13:13,302 --> 00:13:15,569
JJ, I hear you're looking to
join our engineering department.
342
00:13:15,637 --> 00:13:17,838
Son, you seem like Danton material
343
00:13:17,906 --> 00:13:19,139
through and through.
344
00:13:19,208 --> 00:13:21,675
You're the dean? You're very young.
345
00:13:21,743 --> 00:13:22,776
And... hot.
346
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,744
I get that a lot.
347
00:13:24,813 --> 00:13:27,214
Working with quality
young people like JJ here
348
00:13:27,282 --> 00:13:28,782
is my own fountain of youth.
349
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:31,017
Yeah, JJ is awesome.
350
00:13:31,086 --> 00:13:32,185
Well, he made a friend.
351
00:13:32,254 --> 00:13:35,155
And she's hot.
She's like Dean Dinkins hot.
352
00:13:35,224 --> 00:13:36,389
JJ, let's get back.
353
00:13:36,458 --> 00:13:38,825
That math equation
isn't gonna solve itself.
354
00:13:38,894 --> 00:13:40,660
- May I borrow him?
- For math.
355
00:13:43,966 --> 00:13:46,166
Well, we can't quit,
'cause it's his dream, isn't it?
356
00:13:46,235 --> 00:13:47,601
Go on, open that app again.
357
00:13:47,669 --> 00:13:49,803
Ah, look at you.
358
00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:51,004
Feeling confident, huh?
359
00:13:51,073 --> 00:13:53,373
My man, I own this crowd.
360
00:13:53,442 --> 00:13:55,675
I've got them wrapped around my finger.
361
00:13:55,744 --> 00:13:57,611
And once they see my magic act...
362
00:13:57,679 --> 00:13:59,579
Oh, no. No, no, no. Too confident.
363
00:13:59,648 --> 00:14:01,948
- Too confident!
- Too confident my "A."
364
00:14:02,017 --> 00:14:03,850
Kids, pop a squat.
365
00:14:03,919 --> 00:14:04,885
I can't watch this.
366
00:14:04,953 --> 00:14:06,253
I'm calling weird-eye Shakira
367
00:14:06,321 --> 00:14:07,821
to tell her to fire the tub back up.
368
00:14:11,426 --> 00:14:16,196
We perceive our world
through our five senses.
369
00:14:16,265 --> 00:14:17,664
Or do we?
370
00:14:18,834 --> 00:14:20,634
Oh, you ain't seen nothin' yet.
371
00:14:20,702 --> 00:14:23,536
Now I will remove my thumb.
372
00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:26,907
I know, right?
373
00:14:26,975 --> 00:14:29,075
Awesome!
374
00:14:34,349 --> 00:14:36,616
Uh, grab some of that
equipment and follow me.
375
00:14:36,685 --> 00:14:38,618
Oh, with pleasure. Is there
anything else I can do for you?
376
00:14:38,687 --> 00:14:40,353
Don't hold back. Treat me like garbage.
377
00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:41,888
- I am your peon.
- No, just that.
378
00:14:41,957 --> 00:14:45,692
So this is for a movie?
What are you filming?
379
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:46,893
Okay, everyone, come in quick.
380
00:14:46,962 --> 00:14:48,295
We'll hide from the snake in here.
381
00:14:48,363 --> 00:14:50,063
Come on. Come on. Come on.
382
00:14:51,466 --> 00:14:53,700
No one else is afraid of the snake?
383
00:14:53,769 --> 00:14:56,970
Babies!
384
00:14:57,039 --> 00:14:59,506
I've got bad news for you, Austin.
385
00:14:59,574 --> 00:15:01,274
Those babies are us.
386
00:15:01,343 --> 00:15:03,977
Frank, we are way behind.
We gotta do this.
387
00:15:04,046 --> 00:15:06,313
Fine, but I need a rehearsal.
Where's Bikini Boobs?
388
00:15:06,381 --> 00:15:07,414
Still in makeup.
389
00:15:07,482 --> 00:15:10,617
Well, just get me a stand-in. Anybody!
390
00:15:10,686 --> 00:15:13,553
Hey, you, app lady. Come with me.
391
00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:14,955
Stand right here.
392
00:15:15,023 --> 00:15:16,323
Face this way.
393
00:15:16,391 --> 00:15:19,125
I mean, for five stars, I really
would stand in a volcano.
394
00:15:19,194 --> 00:15:21,528
Where's our horny wheelchair kid?
395
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:27,300
That's my horny wheelchair kid.
396
00:15:27,369 --> 00:15:31,404
JJ, I've lost sight of Dad and... Mom.
397
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:34,174
I'm just gonna come clean.
I have a snake.
398
00:15:35,026 --> 00:15:37,877
So that's why we're here?
We drove six hours,
399
00:15:37,947 --> 00:15:39,926
we agonized over how to pay for it.
400
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:41,450
I was gonna get a job up here,
and for what?
401
00:15:41,493 --> 00:15:42,859
So you could roll around a movie set
402
00:15:42,912 --> 00:15:44,344
and nuzzle some girl's chest puppies?
403
00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:46,803
You made your mother
say "chest puppies."
404
00:15:46,872 --> 00:15:49,206
"In the movie's defense,
405
00:15:49,275 --> 00:15:53,110
they cast an actual
wheelchair user for the part."
406
00:15:53,178 --> 00:15:54,816
Yeah, that is actually laudable.
Credit where credit's due.
407
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:56,722
- Sure.
- Doesn't change anything.
408
00:15:56,777 --> 00:15:58,248
You lied!
409
00:15:58,317 --> 00:15:59,783
You lied.
410
00:15:59,852 --> 00:16:03,453
We were so happy that
you'd found a passion.
411
00:16:03,522 --> 00:16:05,656
"You're"...D-R... "dreaming
412
00:16:05,724 --> 00:16:08,025
if you think I could go"...
413
00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:11,261
S-O... "someplace like this."
414
00:16:11,330 --> 00:16:13,230
I'm not buying your excuses anymore.
415
00:16:13,299 --> 00:16:15,532
We take you seriously.
It's time you did, too.
416
00:16:15,601 --> 00:16:16,700
Congratulations, JJ.
417
00:16:16,769 --> 00:16:20,170
You've been accepted
to college... with honors.
418
00:16:20,239 --> 00:16:23,307
Dean Dinkins, I'm gonna
make you fall in love with me,
419
00:16:23,375 --> 00:16:25,542
- then I'm gon...
- Okay, you... Just go.
420
00:16:25,611 --> 00:16:26,710
Time to say goodbye to your friends.
421
00:16:29,782 --> 00:16:32,015
"I'm sorry. I have to leave."
422
00:16:32,084 --> 00:16:33,483
Eh, scene's a wreck, anyway.
423
00:16:33,552 --> 00:16:35,886
There's no good way to shoot the party.
424
00:16:35,955 --> 00:16:36,887
Bye, kid.
425
00:16:39,792 --> 00:16:40,657
"Dad"...
426
00:16:40,726 --> 00:16:43,160
U-N... "unscrew my board."
427
00:16:44,863 --> 00:16:46,830
Ray and Austin are chickens!
428
00:16:46,899 --> 00:16:48,532
Ray and Austin are chickens!
429
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:49,800
Oh, I'm a chicken?
430
00:16:49,868 --> 00:16:51,535
So I provide 35%
431
00:16:51,603 --> 00:16:53,270
of the protein America consumes?
432
00:16:53,339 --> 00:16:54,905
Real good insult.
433
00:16:54,974 --> 00:16:56,840
Hey! All right. All right. All right.
434
00:16:56,909 --> 00:16:59,943
We've had our fun.
Help me find that snake.
435
00:17:00,012 --> 00:17:01,378
Let's go.
436
00:17:01,447 --> 00:17:03,380
My dad would've found it already.
437
00:17:03,449 --> 00:17:05,882
He kills snakes all the time.
438
00:17:05,951 --> 00:17:07,184
My dad invented Pokémon.
439
00:17:07,252 --> 00:17:11,788
Oh, really? Your dad is Satoshi Tajiri?
440
00:17:11,857 --> 00:17:13,724
Yeah, that's what I thought.
441
00:17:17,229 --> 00:17:17,961
Ray?
442
00:17:20,432 --> 00:17:21,498
Dear God!
443
00:17:21,567 --> 00:17:23,467
What kind of snake highway's up there?!
444
00:17:26,105 --> 00:17:28,472
Okay, you got this, Ray.
445
00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:29,506
You g... You got this.
446
00:17:29,575 --> 00:17:31,041
All right.
447
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,647
Yes!
448
00:17:37,716 --> 00:17:39,683
Oh, no venom glands. It's harmless.
449
00:17:39,752 --> 00:17:41,918
I'm gonna go show everyone I caught it.
450
00:17:41,987 --> 00:17:45,322
And I'm never gonna show my face again.
451
00:17:50,863 --> 00:17:52,596
You ready?
452
00:17:52,664 --> 00:17:54,531
And action!
453
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:58,268
♪ She's a straight-talking,
street-walking, top-shelf ♪
454
00:17:58,337 --> 00:18:00,370
♪ Leather-lining limousine ♪
455
00:18:02,307 --> 00:18:06,009
♪ She's a car-stopping,
ball-dropping firework ♪
456
00:18:06,078 --> 00:18:09,446
♪ A single-handed party scene ♪
457
00:18:09,515 --> 00:18:13,617
♪ Don't stop, don't drop for anyone ♪
458
00:18:13,685 --> 00:18:17,721
♪ Won't shake, won't break,
she's having fun ♪
459
00:18:17,790 --> 00:18:21,024
Oh, your nose looks cold!
460
00:18:21,093 --> 00:18:22,559
And cut!
461
00:18:22,628 --> 00:18:23,560
We got it!
462
00:18:24,696 --> 00:18:26,797
Awesome.
463
00:18:26,865 --> 00:18:29,099
Gosh! Look at that smile.
464
00:18:29,168 --> 00:18:31,401
Never seen you so happy.
465
00:18:31,470 --> 00:18:33,670
"I've never been so happy."
466
00:18:33,739 --> 00:18:36,606
Hmm. And how much of that would
you say is breast-related?
467
00:18:36,675 --> 00:18:39,443
"Five"...P-E... "percent."
468
00:18:39,511 --> 00:18:41,211
"Per breast." Well...
469
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:42,879
That's a lot left for movies.
470
00:18:42,948 --> 00:18:44,381
Am I detecting a passion?
471
00:18:47,352 --> 00:18:50,454
"I'm"...S-O... "sorry I lied.
472
00:18:50,522 --> 00:18:51,755
But thank you."
473
00:18:51,824 --> 00:18:54,624
Oh, it's all right.
It's exciting, isn't it?
474
00:18:54,693 --> 00:18:58,128
Now, do I have to have seen
"Bikini University" 1 and 2
475
00:18:58,197 --> 00:19:00,630
in order to understand your role
in "Bikini University 3"?
476
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,233
Come on out, snake.
477
00:19:06,305 --> 00:19:07,204
No way!
478
00:19:08,207 --> 00:19:10,407
Austin found the snake!
479
00:19:10,476 --> 00:19:13,844
Yeah, it tried eating us both,
but Austin wasn't scared.
480
00:19:13,912 --> 00:19:14,911
Right, Austin?
481
00:19:14,980 --> 00:19:17,681
Yeah. I made this snake my "B."
482
00:19:17,749 --> 00:19:21,184
Whoa!
483
00:19:21,253 --> 00:19:22,953
Ray pooped his pants.
484
00:19:24,022 --> 00:19:26,423
Really, man? You had the win.
485
00:19:29,361 --> 00:19:31,094
Justin Chang's older brother!
486
00:19:31,163 --> 00:19:32,162
Heard what you did.
487
00:19:32,231 --> 00:19:33,230
Catching a snake
488
00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:35,232
but letting Austin Chang take credit?
489
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,234
That's huge.
490
00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:38,802
Come on, little bro.
491
00:19:38,871 --> 00:19:41,538
Dustin Chang rates you...
492
00:19:41,607 --> 00:19:42,839
one to watch.
493
00:19:46,311 --> 00:19:49,412
Dude, you had a pretty good day.
494
00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:51,715
But not as good as Dustin Chang's.
495
00:19:51,783 --> 00:19:54,718
Dude is straight making out
with one of the moms.
496
00:19:57,756 --> 00:19:59,956
It's all happening so fast.
497
00:20:00,025 --> 00:20:02,259
It was just yesterday
I was bringing my baby home.
498
00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:05,595
Now my baby's going to college?
Babies can't go to college.
499
00:20:05,664 --> 00:20:07,297
It'll be such a big change for him.
500
00:20:07,366 --> 00:20:09,266
It's exciting.
501
00:20:10,702 --> 00:20:12,002
Look at him back there.
502
00:20:12,070 --> 00:20:14,304
Our little director.
503
00:20:14,373 --> 00:20:17,340
Dreaming of cameras and shots.
504
00:20:20,145 --> 00:20:22,812
Yeah, that's what
he's burying his face in...
505
00:20:22,881 --> 00:20:25,448
a giant pair of cameras.
506
00:20:26,574 --> 00:20:29,308
- Hey, Dylan, your friend's here.
- It's time to get that hideous thing
507
00:20:29,348 --> 00:20:30,580
out of this house, once and for all.
508
00:20:30,649 --> 00:20:33,377
Please? He only escaped
because he was hungry.
509
00:20:33,424 --> 00:20:35,057
Now I know snakes need food.
510
00:20:35,126 --> 00:20:36,725
- Say goodbye, Dylan.
- Now.
511
00:20:38,262 --> 00:20:41,897
You were a good snake.
But it's for the best.
512
00:20:41,966 --> 00:20:44,948
Most of the fun was you
being a secret, anyway.
513
00:20:45,136 --> 00:20:46,682
Goodbye.
514
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,844
Hmm. Fair trade. Deal.
515
00:20:53,915 --> 00:20:55,351
See the one that just left?
516
00:20:55,414 --> 00:20:58,226
That's what happens to snakes
who doesn't stay secret.
36331
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