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1
00:00:01,104 --> 00:00:03,664
Previously on
"Miracle Workers"...
2
00:00:03,693 --> 00:00:06,253
You want to destroy
the entire world?
3
00:00:06,282 --> 00:00:07,802
Yeah. But that's not why
I brought you in here.
4
00:00:07,835 --> 00:00:10,105
This here is a restaurant.
5
00:00:10,148 --> 00:00:13,288
What?I call it...Lazy Susan's.
6
00:00:13,323 --> 00:00:17,533
I already have
a prototype for the claw.
7
00:00:17,569 --> 00:00:21,259
Eliza: All we have to do
is get these two to kiss.
8
00:00:21,297 --> 00:00:23,057
Friday?
Friday.
9
00:00:23,092 --> 00:00:24,162
Yes!
10
00:00:24,196 --> 00:00:25,266
Yes!
11
00:00:25,301 --> 00:00:27,201
Is that enough time?
12
00:00:27,234 --> 00:00:29,554
Just barely.
13
00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:47,600
This is it.
14
00:00:47,633 --> 00:00:48,743
The big day.
15
00:00:49,670 --> 00:00:53,570
If I don't land
these investors...
16
00:00:53,605 --> 00:00:56,465
Lazy Susan's
doesn't stand a chance.
17
00:00:58,334 --> 00:00:59,444
Who you pitching to?
18
00:00:59,473 --> 00:01:01,893
A couple
of real power players.
19
00:01:04,926 --> 00:01:08,446
Mom, Dad?
20
00:01:08,482 --> 00:01:10,102
I'm coming home.
21
00:01:41,825 --> 00:01:44,135
♪ Da-doo-di-da
22
00:01:44,173 --> 00:01:45,833
♪ Da-doo-di-da
23
00:01:45,864 --> 00:01:48,144
♪ Da-doo-di-da
24
00:01:48,177 --> 00:01:49,757
♪ Da-doo-di-da
25
00:01:49,799 --> 00:01:51,489
♪ Da-da-da, di-da
26
00:01:56,702 --> 00:01:58,672
No, buddy.
No, youlisten to me,okay?
27
00:01:58,704 --> 00:02:01,164
What don't you understand
about supply and "command"?
28
00:02:01,190 --> 00:02:02,360
I mean, it's easy.
29
00:02:02,398 --> 00:02:03,948
I want those numbers
going up, not down.
30
00:02:03,985 --> 00:02:05,775
And if you can't --
Sorry.
31
00:02:05,815 --> 00:02:08,225
If you can't put --
Then it's your ass, all right?
32
00:02:08,266 --> 00:02:09,536
I-I want -- Yes.
33
00:02:09,577 --> 00:02:11,367
At the end of the quarter,
I want those numbers
34
00:02:11,407 --> 00:02:12,647
on my desk, yesterday.
35
00:02:12,684 --> 00:02:13,554
Right.
36
00:02:13,581 --> 00:02:14,721
Woman: We're sorry.
37
00:02:14,755 --> 00:02:15,925
Wow.
38
00:02:15,963 --> 00:02:17,383
Sorry. Work stuff.
39
00:02:17,413 --> 00:02:20,663
Just, if I leave for a minute,
it's, uh...
40
00:02:20,692 --> 00:02:21,522
Anyway, hi.
41
00:02:21,555 --> 00:02:23,515
Hey, there, kiddo.It's been a while.
42
00:02:23,557 --> 00:02:25,797
Bring it in.
43
00:02:25,835 --> 00:02:29,595
Mom, Dad.
44
00:02:33,291 --> 00:02:34,841
Okay.
45
00:02:37,295 --> 00:02:39,535
All right, guys,
how's it looking?
46
00:02:39,573 --> 00:02:41,543
All good here.
Sam showered today.
47
00:02:41,575 --> 00:02:44,405
Good here, too. Laura's picked
out her least-stained shirt.
48
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,410
Craig, have they finalized
their plans for the date?
49
00:02:46,442 --> 00:02:47,822
Yes. They are
going to the cinema.
50
00:02:47,857 --> 00:02:48,787
That is perfect!
51
00:02:48,823 --> 00:02:50,763
Dark theater,
sitting next to each other...
52
00:02:50,791 --> 00:02:52,451
It doesn't get
more romantic than that.
53
00:02:52,482 --> 00:02:55,452
What are they seeing?Oh. This.
54
00:02:55,485 --> 00:02:56,725
Herzog: The sewer.
55
00:02:56,762 --> 00:02:58,972
Tunnels filled with feces.
56
00:02:59,006 --> 00:03:00,966
Rats and slime.
57
00:03:01,008 --> 00:03:02,978
The stench of human waste.
58
00:03:03,010 --> 00:03:06,010
Descend with me
into this nightmare world
59
00:03:06,047 --> 00:03:07,427
of our own making...
60
00:03:07,463 --> 00:03:08,773
in 3-D.
61
00:03:08,809 --> 00:03:10,329
Yeah, they're not
gonna kiss watching that.
62
00:03:10,362 --> 00:03:11,572
What do we do?
63
00:03:11,605 --> 00:03:13,425
We gotta get them
on a better date.
64
00:03:17,369 --> 00:03:18,609
So, how's your planet,
son?
65
00:03:18,646 --> 00:03:20,226
It's going great, Dad.
Thanks for asking.
66
00:03:20,269 --> 00:03:22,619
We just celebrated another
million years without war.
67
00:03:22,650 --> 00:03:25,310
Wow.Somebody's going
after his mom's record.
68
00:03:25,343 --> 00:03:27,593
And, sweetheart,
69
00:03:27,621 --> 00:03:29,861
I heard you're doing an amazing
job running your planet.
70
00:03:29,899 --> 00:03:31,659
Well, you know,
it's a utopia,
71
00:03:31,694 --> 00:03:33,594
so it kind of runs itself.
72
00:03:33,627 --> 00:03:35,627
Of course.
73
00:03:37,493 --> 00:03:38,773
God:
74
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,810
Me too.
75
00:03:43,844 --> 00:03:44,744
What?
76
00:03:44,776 --> 00:03:48,326
Oh, uh, yeah,
I'm also doing really good.
77
00:03:48,366 --> 00:03:49,876
Oh, right.
78
00:03:49,919 --> 00:03:51,399
Your...planet.
79
00:03:51,438 --> 00:03:54,338
Uh, how is Turd?
80
00:03:54,372 --> 00:03:55,792
It's -- It's "Earth."
81
00:03:55,821 --> 00:03:57,481
Earth. Right. Sorry.
82
00:03:57,513 --> 00:03:58,763
Earth.
83
00:03:58,790 --> 00:03:59,890
My apologies.
84
00:03:59,929 --> 00:04:01,619
It's going really great.
85
00:04:01,655 --> 00:04:02,925
Thanks for asking.
86
00:04:02,966 --> 00:04:04,896
But -- ahem --
87
00:04:04,934 --> 00:04:07,664
I've actually been working
on a whole new project.
88
00:04:07,695 --> 00:04:09,485
Here we go.
All right.
89
00:04:09,525 --> 00:04:12,075
Mom, Dad,
it's pitch time.
90
00:04:12,113 --> 00:04:13,673
Come on.
91
00:04:19,431 --> 00:04:20,641
Okay, okay, new pitch.
92
00:04:20,674 --> 00:04:22,574
Uh, how about
a romantic carriage ride?
93
00:04:22,607 --> 00:04:24,297
Nope.
Sam's afraid of horses.
94
00:04:24,333 --> 00:04:25,583
Doesn't like their eyes.
95
00:04:25,610 --> 00:04:27,650
All right, then, uh,
what about an eyeless horse?
96
00:04:27,681 --> 00:04:28,851
We get some crows, right?
97
00:04:28,889 --> 00:04:30,369
Wait, where are
you getting crows from?
98
00:04:30,408 --> 00:04:31,648
It's Earth. Anywhere.
99
00:04:31,685 --> 00:04:32,995
We get them to swoop down
100
00:04:33,031 --> 00:04:35,071
and peck the eyes
out of the horse.
101
00:04:35,102 --> 00:04:36,832
No, crows only peck eyes
out of dead things, though.
102
00:04:36,862 --> 00:04:38,382
So unless you're gonna get
a dead horse...
103
00:04:38,416 --> 00:04:39,686
Then I'll get a dead horse!
104
00:04:39,727 --> 00:04:41,937
Have you guys ever thought
about a Kiss Cam?
105
00:04:41,971 --> 00:04:43,521
Rosie. That's brilliant!
106
00:04:43,559 --> 00:04:45,079
Sorry. What --
W-What is a "Kiss Cam"?
107
00:04:45,112 --> 00:04:46,802
Oh, it's this thing
they do at sporting events.
108
00:04:46,838 --> 00:04:48,388
They find two people
in the stands,
109
00:04:48,426 --> 00:04:50,116
point a camera at them,
and they have to kiss.
110
00:04:50,151 --> 00:04:51,811
Sanjay: There's
a basketball game tonight.
111
00:04:51,843 --> 00:04:53,743
The arena is in
Sam and Laura's neighborhood.
112
00:04:53,776 --> 00:04:55,396
Oh, okay. Sorry.
Are we all -- We all positive
113
00:04:55,433 --> 00:04:57,813
this is the best idea, just
putting them on a massive screen
114
00:04:57,849 --> 00:04:58,949
in front of loads of people?
115
00:04:58,988 --> 00:05:00,438
Let's make it happen.
116
00:05:00,472 --> 00:05:02,822
Yeah.
117
00:05:02,854 --> 00:05:06,414
And on this island, there
are dozens of capable chefs
118
00:05:06,444 --> 00:05:07,964
making all sorts
of foods --
119
00:05:07,997 --> 00:05:11,407
pizza, pasta,
even French, right?
120
00:05:11,449 --> 00:05:12,689
And when you see
a food you like,
121
00:05:12,726 --> 00:05:15,446
you grab it
with this long claw.
122
00:05:15,487 --> 00:05:17,587
And it all goes down...
123
00:05:17,627 --> 00:05:19,937
at Lazy Susan's.
124
00:05:21,459 --> 00:05:23,879
God: ♪ If you're cruisin'
for a boozin'♪
125
00:05:23,909 --> 00:05:26,709
♪ Come on down to Lazy Susan's♪
126
00:05:26,740 --> 00:05:29,500
♪ If you're in the mood
for gumbo♪
127
00:05:29,536 --> 00:05:31,846
♪ And you like your drinks
with rum-o♪
128
00:05:31,883 --> 00:05:33,853
♪ Then it's time
to have some fun-o♪
129
00:05:33,885 --> 00:05:35,575
I don't know
how they put up with this.
130
00:05:35,611 --> 00:05:40,441
♪ It's Lazy Susan's time♪Mom's on a lot of pills.
131
00:05:40,478 --> 00:05:41,788
Whoo!
132
00:05:41,824 --> 00:05:43,144
Okay, Nelson,
I think we've got it,
133
00:05:43,170 --> 00:05:44,720
but let's just get
a few more takes,
134
00:05:44,758 --> 00:05:46,038
just to be on the safe si--Wow.
135
00:05:46,069 --> 00:05:47,899
So, I guess what's left
is to talk numbers?
136
00:05:47,933 --> 00:05:52,043
Well, uh, before your father
and I invest in this...thing,
137
00:05:52,075 --> 00:05:54,005
we need to talk in private.Yes.
138
00:05:54,043 --> 00:05:56,533
Ohh! I see. You want
to get together your offer.
139
00:05:56,563 --> 00:05:57,943
All right.
140
00:05:57,978 --> 00:06:00,008
But if you think you're
gonna take more than 49%,
141
00:06:00,049 --> 00:06:01,599
you got
another thing coming.
142
00:06:03,121 --> 00:06:05,641
All right.
143
00:06:05,675 --> 00:06:07,155
I was just kidding.
144
00:06:07,194 --> 00:06:08,474
I love you guys.
145
00:06:08,506 --> 00:06:10,576
Love you.
146
00:06:12,613 --> 00:06:14,683
Hey, Sam.
So, this is weird,
147
00:06:14,719 --> 00:06:16,619
but it looks like the theater
we were gonna go to tonight
148
00:06:16,652 --> 00:06:19,172
is on fire.
149
00:06:19,206 --> 00:06:20,206
Is everyone okay?
150
00:06:20,241 --> 00:06:22,071
No.
A lot of people died.
151
00:06:22,105 --> 00:06:24,065
Oh, God.So, is there anything else
152
00:06:24,107 --> 00:06:25,627
you might want
to do tonight?
153
00:06:25,661 --> 00:06:27,801
This is gonna sound weird,
but, uh,
154
00:06:27,835 --> 00:06:30,625
two tickets to a basketball
game landed on my head.
155
00:06:30,666 --> 00:06:32,806
What?Yeah, I was eating lunch,
156
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,700
and a crow
dropped them on me.
157
00:06:34,739 --> 00:06:36,639
They look like
pretty good seats.
158
00:06:36,672 --> 00:06:38,052
Okay.
159
00:06:38,087 --> 00:06:39,707
Should we do that?
160
00:06:39,744 --> 00:06:40,814
Sure.
161
00:06:40,848 --> 00:06:42,888
Nice.
162
00:06:44,231 --> 00:06:46,061
What?
-I just...
163
00:06:46,095 --> 00:06:48,505
How can we even be sure they're
going to end up on camera?
164
00:06:48,546 --> 00:06:49,686
All right,
there's gonna be dozens
165
00:06:49,719 --> 00:06:50,999
of other couples
going to this game.
166
00:06:51,031 --> 00:06:53,931
Actually, there's...
167
00:06:53,965 --> 00:06:55,205
212.
-Right.
168
00:06:55,242 --> 00:06:56,522
So there's
virtually no chance
169
00:06:56,554 --> 00:06:57,734
of Sam and Laura
getting picked.
170
00:06:57,762 --> 00:06:58,522
Craig's right.
171
00:06:58,556 --> 00:07:00,656
We need to cull the herd.What?
172
00:07:00,696 --> 00:07:04,456
We take out all the other
couples, by any means necessary.
173
00:07:04,493 --> 00:07:05,803
Good job, Craig.
-Amazing work.
174
00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:08,119
-This is really great.
-Thanks?
175
00:07:08,151 --> 00:07:10,461
Thank you.
176
00:07:10,499 --> 00:07:14,259
The good news is
that we are very proud of you.
177
00:07:14,295 --> 00:07:19,715
And we love
that you have...ideas.
178
00:07:19,749 --> 00:07:22,169
-Great.
-That being said,
179
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:23,680
with the market
being what it is,
180
00:07:23,719 --> 00:07:25,819
we just don't think
now is a good time
181
00:07:25,859 --> 00:07:27,619
for us to invest
in anything.
182
00:07:29,138 --> 00:07:30,548
What about them?
183
00:07:30,588 --> 00:07:32,728
You invest in their stuff
all the time.
184
00:07:32,762 --> 00:07:33,802
Well, uh...
185
00:07:33,832 --> 00:07:37,152
we just think the concept
for your restaurant...
186
00:07:37,180 --> 00:07:39,110
might be difficult
to execute.
187
00:07:39,148 --> 00:07:42,978
Oh, well, I mean,
if you have any notes at all,
188
00:07:43,014 --> 00:07:45,884
I mean, big or small,
I'm -- I'm totally open.
189
00:07:45,913 --> 00:07:49,023
Well, if you're asking for
notes, um, the "food claw"...
190
00:07:49,054 --> 00:07:51,514
Yeah, the claw stays.
I'm married to the claw.
191
00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:53,510
You lose the claw,
and you're compromising
192
00:07:53,542 --> 00:07:54,992
the integrity
of Lazy Susan's.
193
00:07:55,026 --> 00:07:56,026
I mean...
194
00:07:56,061 --> 00:07:58,581
"Get rid
of the claw," she says.
195
00:08:00,549 --> 00:08:01,579
Anything else?
196
00:08:01,619 --> 00:08:03,589
All right, guys.
Keep it up.
197
00:08:03,621 --> 00:08:04,901
Only a few couples left.
198
00:08:04,932 --> 00:08:07,902
Come on, baby.
199
00:08:09,937 --> 00:08:12,597
Nice work, Eliza.
200
00:08:14,114 --> 00:08:15,604
Aah!
201
00:08:15,633 --> 00:08:17,153
Aah! Aah!
No!
202
00:08:17,186 --> 00:08:18,596
Ah! Great job, Rosie.
203
00:08:18,636 --> 00:08:22,016
I can't go to the game.
204
00:08:22,053 --> 00:08:23,783
I have diarrhea.
205
00:08:26,057 --> 00:08:27,777
Sanjay, gross.
206
00:08:27,817 --> 00:08:29,957
That wasn't me.
That guy just has diarrhea.
207
00:08:29,992 --> 00:08:30,822
Oh.
208
00:08:30,855 --> 00:08:33,925
Well, anyway,
we're in great shape.
209
00:08:33,961 --> 00:08:36,651
Look.
210
00:08:36,688 --> 00:08:38,658
Not as many people
as I expected.
211
00:08:38,690 --> 00:08:41,620
Yeah, looks like
we have this entire row
212
00:08:41,659 --> 00:08:43,559
to ourselves.
213
00:08:44,385 --> 00:08:46,035
Maybe these are
bad teams?
214
00:08:46,077 --> 00:08:47,627
That's okay.
215
00:08:47,665 --> 00:08:50,175
Honestly, I don't know that
much about basketball anyway.
216
00:08:50,219 --> 00:08:51,669
Me neither.
217
00:08:51,703 --> 00:08:53,263
I was just gonna
start cheering for the team
218
00:08:53,291 --> 00:08:55,261
that you started
cheering for.
219
00:08:55,293 --> 00:08:56,983
Wait.
That was my plan, too.
220
00:08:58,365 --> 00:09:00,085
Cheers?
Cheers.
221
00:09:01,851 --> 00:09:04,101
Ahh.
222
00:09:04,129 --> 00:09:06,929
You know, I'm glad
those tickets fell on your head.
223
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,200
This is fun.
224
00:09:08,237 --> 00:09:09,957
You're not bored?
225
00:09:09,997 --> 00:09:11,787
I think you could have
taken me anywhere tonight,
226
00:09:11,827 --> 00:09:13,097
and I wouldn't have
been bored.
227
00:09:13,138 --> 00:09:14,998
No, okay. I think we should
disable the Kiss Camera.
228
00:09:15,037 --> 00:09:17,347
Craig.No. They are getting there
on their own.
229
00:09:17,384 --> 00:09:18,704
They don't need
any extra pressure.
230
00:09:18,730 --> 00:09:20,080
The Kiss Cam's gonna work.
231
00:09:20,111 --> 00:09:21,841
I mean, think about it.
232
00:09:21,871 --> 00:09:23,291
Put yourself
in Sam's shoes.
233
00:09:23,321 --> 00:09:24,841
How so?
234
00:09:24,874 --> 00:09:27,674
Imagine you're, like,
this lonely guy,
235
00:09:27,705 --> 00:09:29,735
not a lot of friends,
socially awkward,
236
00:09:29,776 --> 00:09:31,226
everyone thinks
you're weird.
237
00:09:31,260 --> 00:09:32,850
Okay, I will imagine that.
238
00:09:32,882 --> 00:09:36,402
And then one day, out of
the blue, this girl shows up,
239
00:09:36,437 --> 00:09:40,297
and you think she's the coolest
person you've ever met.
240
00:09:40,338 --> 00:09:42,998
Right, yes.And the more you spend time
with her,
241
00:09:43,030 --> 00:09:46,410
the more you realize
this girl kicks ass.
242
00:09:46,447 --> 00:09:48,377
She's awesome.
You really like her.
243
00:09:48,415 --> 00:09:51,035
Okay.And it builds, and it builds
244
00:09:51,073 --> 00:09:53,873
until, one night, she's
sitting right next to you...
245
00:09:53,903 --> 00:09:55,843
like, as close as I am
to you right now.
246
00:09:55,871 --> 00:09:58,671
Mm-hmm.And everyone's looking.
247
00:09:59,771 --> 00:10:01,391
You'd go for it.
Right?
248
00:10:01,428 --> 00:10:04,048
Well, no, not necessarily.
249
00:10:04,086 --> 00:10:06,986
Not if I was unsure
about how she felt about me,
250
00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:09,400
or was scared to death
of losing her as a friend,
251
00:10:09,436 --> 00:10:12,266
and also pretty frightened
of her in general.
252
00:10:12,301 --> 00:10:13,751
What?
What?
253
00:10:13,785 --> 00:10:15,405
Anyway,
let's put it to a vote.
254
00:10:15,442 --> 00:10:17,312
Um, all against.
255
00:10:17,340 --> 00:10:20,070
All for.
256
00:10:20,102 --> 00:10:22,792
Okay, well, I suppose
I have no choice
257
00:10:22,829 --> 00:10:23,999
but to accept
the will of the group.
258
00:10:24,037 --> 00:10:25,897
This is a democracy,
after all,
259
00:10:25,935 --> 00:10:27,895
so, yeah, consider
the matter settled.
260
00:10:28,351 --> 00:10:29,731
-Craig!
-Whoa!
261
00:10:29,767 --> 00:10:31,007
-Hold on!
-What the
262
00:10:31,044 --> 00:10:33,674
No! You're wrong! These are
two very shy people!
263
00:10:35,393 --> 00:10:37,083
-Oh!
-I'm sorry.
264
00:10:37,119 --> 00:10:39,469
I'm very sorry.
That was unprofessional.
265
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,330
And I'm completely out of line.
266
00:10:41,364 --> 00:10:43,304
Frankly,
I am ashamed of myself.
267
00:10:43,332 --> 00:10:44,822
No!
-Oh!
268
00:10:44,851 --> 00:10:46,341
-You open that cabinet!
-No!
269
00:10:46,369 --> 00:10:47,959
-Yes.
-No, you'll ruin this!
270
00:10:47,992 --> 00:10:50,302
Do not put me in there!
No!
271
00:10:50,339 --> 00:10:52,339
-Get him in.
-No! No, no!
272
00:10:52,375 --> 00:10:55,205
Ah, you're making
a huge mistake!
273
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,760
Let's get back to work.
274
00:10:57,795 --> 00:10:59,795
You guys, I --
I
275
00:10:59,831 --> 00:11:02,211
I-I don't get the hesitation,
right?
276
00:11:02,247 --> 00:11:03,487
You love the concept.
277
00:11:03,524 --> 00:11:04,914
And there's
hardly any overhead.
278
00:11:04,940 --> 00:11:07,180
There's no tables,
no waiters,
279
00:11:07,218 --> 00:11:08,908
no bathrooms, no walls...
280
00:11:08,944 --> 00:11:10,844
Why aren't there
any bathrooms?
281
00:11:10,877 --> 00:11:12,777
Well, because
it's a lazy river.
282
00:11:12,810 --> 00:11:14,470
So people would just...
283
00:11:14,501 --> 00:11:16,051
Yeah.
They just go.
284
00:11:16,089 --> 00:11:19,919
Son, I'm not sure
this is for us.
285
00:11:19,955 --> 00:11:21,025
Why?
286
00:11:21,059 --> 00:11:24,099
It just seems like
a -- a very ambitious project,
287
00:11:24,131 --> 00:11:25,061
and we're worried...
288
00:11:25,098 --> 00:11:28,068
That you might not be able
to handle it.
289
00:11:28,101 --> 00:11:30,721
Whoa.
290
00:11:30,759 --> 00:11:33,799
Y-You don't think
I can do this?
291
00:11:33,831 --> 00:11:36,871
You think I'm not...
good enough?
292
00:11:36,903 --> 00:11:39,253
You think there's
something wrong with me?
293
00:11:39,284 --> 00:11:40,534
No.
No, sweetie,
294
00:11:40,561 --> 00:11:42,251
that's not
what we were saying at all!
295
00:11:42,287 --> 00:11:45,737
No, no, no, no. We -- We --
We love the river restaurant.
296
00:11:45,774 --> 00:11:47,364
Really?
297
00:11:47,396 --> 00:11:49,396
Yep.
Count us in, champ.
298
00:11:49,432 --> 00:11:51,752
Okay, good!
299
00:11:51,780 --> 00:11:53,950
Now, for the first
10 locations, I've budgeted --
300
00:11:53,989 --> 00:11:56,299
-Are you kidding me?
-You're gonna bankroll this?!
301
00:11:56,336 --> 00:11:57,816
He's very passionate
about it.
302
00:11:57,855 --> 00:11:59,025
It -- It seems unique.
303
00:11:59,063 --> 00:12:01,073
That's just what you said
about the Earth.
304
00:12:01,099 --> 00:12:03,139
Okay, wait. This is way
different from the Earth.
305
00:12:03,170 --> 00:12:05,100
Mom, it's not.
It's the same thing.
306
00:12:05,138 --> 00:12:07,548
Just another water circle
with people scrambling for food
307
00:12:07,588 --> 00:12:09,138
and shitting everywhere!
308
00:12:09,176 --> 00:12:10,206
Look.
309
00:12:13,077 --> 00:12:14,527
Remember
when he pitched this?
310
00:12:14,561 --> 00:12:16,251
It was insane.
311
00:12:16,287 --> 00:12:17,357
It makes no sense.
312
00:12:17,391 --> 00:12:20,261
But we haaaad to be supportive
'cause he's the baby.
313
00:12:20,291 --> 00:12:22,161
Yeah, let's just forget
that he flunked out of school
314
00:12:22,189 --> 00:12:24,399
and write him a blank check
to start his own planet.
315
00:12:24,433 --> 00:12:27,133
Hey, I started nineplanets.
316
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:28,780
Yeah, well, you only got
one of them to work.
317
00:12:28,817 --> 00:12:30,397
Kids, that's enough.
318
00:12:30,439 --> 00:12:31,919
Your brother
tried his best.
319
00:12:31,958 --> 00:12:33,128
That's what makes it
so sad.
320
00:12:33,166 --> 00:12:34,576
You guys
are being too harsh.
321
00:12:34,615 --> 00:12:37,165
How bad
can Turd possibly be?
322
00:12:37,204 --> 00:12:38,554
We'll tell you.
323
00:12:43,245 --> 00:12:45,035
Oh!
324
00:12:45,074 --> 00:12:46,564
Whoo!
325
00:12:55,498 --> 00:12:59,048
Announcer: What-What-What-What.
What the what?!
326
00:12:59,088 --> 00:13:02,298
It's time
for the Jammin' 103 Kiss Cam!
327
00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:06,863
Brought to you by
T.J. and Piggie In The Morning.
328
00:13:07,959 --> 00:13:10,859
Ooh, there's
a cozy-looking couple.
329
00:13:12,481 --> 00:13:15,071
Ho-ho!
A little shy, I guess.
330
00:13:15,104 --> 00:13:16,904
Crowd:
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
331
00:13:16,934 --> 00:13:18,904
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!Come on. Kiss her.
332
00:13:18,936 --> 00:13:20,316
Come on.
Get it over with.
333
00:13:20,351 --> 00:13:24,041
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
334
00:13:24,079 --> 00:13:25,839
Craig was right.They're choking.
335
00:13:25,874 --> 00:13:28,224
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss!
336
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,540
You guys,
it's gonna be fine, okay?
337
00:13:33,571 --> 00:13:36,191
Just relax.
They're gonna do it.
338
00:13:36,229 --> 00:13:37,299
Wait,
what the hell is this now?!
339
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:40,413
Announcer: Uh-oh.
Look who's on the prowl!
340
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,550
Here comes a real stud, folks.
341
00:13:42,580 --> 00:13:45,480
It's M.C. Dunks.
Go get 'em, Dunks!
342
00:13:47,412 --> 00:13:50,862
Looks like
M.C. Dunks wants a smooch.
343
00:13:50,899 --> 00:13:53,629
Damn it, M.C. Dunks!
Get away from them.
344
00:13:53,660 --> 00:13:57,390
Announcer:
Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.
345
00:13:57,422 --> 00:14:00,982
I said, "Get...away"!
346
00:14:02,324 --> 00:14:04,674
Oh!
347
00:14:04,705 --> 00:14:07,285
Aah! Help!
348
00:14:07,329 --> 00:14:08,429
Ohh! Oh, help!Oh!
349
00:14:08,468 --> 00:14:09,498
Oh!
Oh, God.
350
00:14:09,538 --> 00:14:10,948
Oh. Aah!
Hey, man.
351
00:14:10,988 --> 00:14:12,368
-What are you -- What --
-Hey, you gotta help me.
352
00:14:12,403 --> 00:14:13,443
What are you talking about?!
353
00:14:13,473 --> 00:14:14,443
-Oh, my --
-Help me!
354
00:14:14,474 --> 00:14:15,414
-What? Stop!
-Please!
355
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,100
-Aah!
-Oh!
356
00:14:20,342 --> 00:14:23,692
M.C. Dunks is dead.
357
00:14:23,724 --> 00:14:25,424
He's dead!
358
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:27,000
They killed him.
359
00:14:27,038 --> 00:14:28,278
Man: Murderers!
360
00:14:31,077 --> 00:14:33,977
-They're leaving the arena.
-It's over.
361
00:14:38,291 --> 00:14:39,531
Explain cows.
362
00:14:39,568 --> 00:14:40,708
I don't want
to do this anymore.
363
00:14:40,741 --> 00:14:42,401
Tell Mom and Dad
what a cow is.
364
00:14:42,433 --> 00:14:45,063
It's like a big dog
you can drink from.
365
00:14:45,091 --> 00:14:46,261
And what's a dog?
366
00:14:46,299 --> 00:14:48,609
A small cow
you can be friends with.
367
00:14:48,646 --> 00:14:51,126
Tell them about giraffes.
368
00:14:51,166 --> 00:14:53,406
What's a giraffe?
369
00:14:53,444 --> 00:14:55,174
It's just a tall dog with...
370
00:14:55,204 --> 00:14:56,934
Louder. Speak up.
371
00:14:56,965 --> 00:15:00,585
Tall dog
with a leg for a neck.
372
00:15:00,623 --> 00:15:02,493
What is going on?
What is happening?
373
00:15:02,522 --> 00:15:05,212
Are --
Are these real animals?
374
00:15:05,249 --> 00:15:07,629
You made all these things?
375
00:15:07,665 --> 00:15:11,005
This is what you did with
the 4 grand we gave you?!
376
00:15:11,048 --> 00:15:11,948
T-T-That's it. I'm done.
377
00:15:11,980 --> 00:15:14,090
I-I'm not talking
about this anymore.
378
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,360
We're almost finished.
379
00:15:15,397 --> 00:15:18,367
Explain
your pièce de résistance.
380
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:19,640
Explain humans.
381
00:15:19,677 --> 00:15:21,957
Oh, come on, Ricky.
Just stop it!
382
00:15:21,990 --> 00:15:22,850
You made your point.
383
00:15:22,887 --> 00:15:25,097
These creatures
live on his planet.
384
00:15:25,131 --> 00:15:28,511
But only on the surface, because
he forgot to build the middle.
385
00:15:28,548 --> 00:15:30,648
So the inside is just fire.
386
00:15:30,688 --> 00:15:34,448
Anyway, these humans are born
nude -- like, fully naked.
387
00:15:34,485 --> 00:15:35,725
He gave them
no instructions,
388
00:15:35,762 --> 00:15:37,352
and they just do
whatever they want.
389
00:15:37,384 --> 00:15:38,354
What do you mean?
390
00:15:38,385 --> 00:15:40,035
He gave them free will.
391
00:15:40,077 --> 00:15:43,107
Son, is this true?
392
00:15:43,149 --> 00:15:45,049
Why would you do that?
393
00:15:45,082 --> 00:15:46,982
I thought
it would make them happy.
394
00:15:47,015 --> 00:15:48,595
I thought,
with all that freedom,
395
00:15:48,637 --> 00:15:51,397
they -- they could do
great things.
396
00:15:52,710 --> 00:15:56,990
Instead, they -- they
just mostly ended up...
397
00:15:57,025 --> 00:15:58,715
like me.
398
00:16:01,029 --> 00:16:02,509
Ah...
399
00:16:11,177 --> 00:16:15,417
It was supposed to be better.
400
00:16:21,497 --> 00:16:23,357
Craig:
♪ Mr. Mop and Mrs. Bucket
401
00:16:23,396 --> 00:16:24,496
♪ You live on a shelf
402
00:16:24,535 --> 00:16:26,395
♪ One is wet, and one is dry
403
00:16:26,433 --> 00:16:28,303
♪ And you are both my friends
404
00:16:28,332 --> 00:16:30,512
♪ Mr. Mop and Mrs. -- Hey.
405
00:16:30,541 --> 00:16:32,371
So, um...
406
00:16:32,405 --> 00:16:35,095
I'm sorry we put you
in the cabinet.
407
00:16:35,132 --> 00:16:36,552
Craig:
No, I'm -- I'm sorry.
408
00:16:36,581 --> 00:16:38,551
And, also, guys,
I've been thinking about it,
409
00:16:38,583 --> 00:16:40,143
and you're
absolutely right.
410
00:16:40,171 --> 00:16:42,691
The Kiss Cam
really is our best shot.
411
00:16:45,073 --> 00:16:47,183
-It failed.
-Oh.
412
00:16:47,213 --> 00:16:49,283
I mean,
m-maybe it's not all bad.
413
00:16:49,318 --> 00:16:51,288
I mean, traumatic events
bring people together,
414
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,530
so -- so maybe Sam and Laura
can bond over this.
415
00:16:53,564 --> 00:16:55,534
Right? Maybe?
416
00:16:55,566 --> 00:16:59,466
That was horrible.
417
00:16:59,501 --> 00:17:00,671
Yeah.
418
00:17:00,709 --> 00:17:03,679
So, uh, I guess you want
to go home now.
419
00:17:03,712 --> 00:17:05,712
What do you mean?
420
00:17:05,748 --> 00:17:07,678
Well, um, I don't know.
421
00:17:07,716 --> 00:17:09,336
Because you just said
that you were having
422
00:17:09,373 --> 00:17:11,583
a horrible time, so...That's not what I said.
423
00:17:11,616 --> 00:17:13,546
Well, that's what it sounded
like you said.
424
00:17:13,584 --> 00:17:16,284
Okay, well, sounds like
youwant to go home.
425
00:17:16,311 --> 00:17:17,831
What?
What do you mean?
426
00:17:17,864 --> 00:17:20,454
Like, you're the
one who keeps talking
about going home, so...
427
00:17:20,487 --> 00:17:21,587
Well, that's
'cause I-I was thinking
428
00:17:21,626 --> 00:17:23,276
that you wanted
to go home.
429
00:17:23,318 --> 00:17:25,868
W-Well, I kind of do, now.
430
00:17:27,805 --> 00:17:30,765
Okay, fine. So, um...
431
00:17:30,808 --> 00:17:32,568
I'm going home.
432
00:17:32,603 --> 00:17:34,333
Okay, fine. Go home.
433
00:17:34,363 --> 00:17:36,163
I'll go home.
We'll both go home.
434
00:17:37,815 --> 00:17:39,295
Okay.
435
00:17:39,334 --> 00:17:40,854
Good night.
436
00:17:40,887 --> 00:17:42,787
Okay.
437
00:17:42,820 --> 00:17:44,440
Bye.
438
00:17:53,210 --> 00:17:55,180
Goodbye.
439
00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:07,497
You know what?
440
00:18:07,534 --> 00:18:09,504
No.
I'm not giving up.
441
00:18:09,536 --> 00:18:11,326
Son, it's a bad restaurant.
442
00:18:11,366 --> 00:18:13,466
I'm not talking
about Lazy Susan's.
443
00:18:13,506 --> 00:18:15,536
I know
my planet is weird.
444
00:18:15,577 --> 00:18:18,237
I mean, it's frozen
on the top and bottom,
445
00:18:18,269 --> 00:18:20,789
and the sky changes colors,
446
00:18:20,823 --> 00:18:22,893
and people, they don't know
what they're doing,
447
00:18:22,929 --> 00:18:24,239
and they mess up a lot.
448
00:18:24,275 --> 00:18:26,345
But I love it.
449
00:18:26,381 --> 00:18:29,281
And I'm proud of it.
450
00:18:29,315 --> 00:18:31,245
And, come on.
Giraffes are cool.
451
00:18:31,282 --> 00:18:33,282
I mean,
if you don't get giraffes,
452
00:18:33,319 --> 00:18:35,389
if you can't find the joy
453
00:18:35,424 --> 00:18:37,564
in a tall dog
with a leg for a neck,
454
00:18:37,599 --> 00:18:39,669
then I feel sorry
for you.
455
00:18:39,704 --> 00:18:42,264
I mean, you guys
can pick on me all you want.
456
00:18:42,293 --> 00:18:43,853
But don't pick on Earth.
457
00:18:43,881 --> 00:18:46,301
'Cause it's here to stay.
458
00:18:46,332 --> 00:18:47,642
I'm not gonna blow it up.
459
00:18:47,678 --> 00:18:49,648
You were gonna blow it up?Well, yeah.
460
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,720
I got
this whole gold-ball thing
461
00:18:51,751 --> 00:18:55,511
that is setting off this
asteroid that's coming to...
462
00:18:55,548 --> 00:18:58,378
You know what?
It's over your head.
463
00:19:04,626 --> 00:19:07,246
How are
we gonna fix this?
464
00:19:16,465 --> 00:19:19,185
Did someone order a miracle?
465
00:19:19,227 --> 00:19:20,537
The bet's off.
466
00:19:20,573 --> 00:19:22,853
I'm here to save the world.
467
00:19:25,336 --> 00:19:28,646
-O-Okay. Okay.
468
00:19:30,307 --> 00:19:32,547
-Oh, um, it's not gonna...
-Ah.
469
00:19:32,585 --> 00:19:34,305
Craig: Okay.
470
00:19:34,345 --> 00:19:36,825
-Ah.
-Ah! Aah.
471
00:19:36,865 --> 00:19:37,995
-Oh, no!
-Aah!
472
00:19:38,038 --> 00:19:39,208
-Don't hurt yourself.
-Stop it.
473
00:19:39,247 --> 00:19:41,457
That's just -- Okay.
474
00:19:41,490 --> 00:19:42,630
Whew! Damn it.
Rosie!
475
00:19:42,664 --> 00:19:44,634
It's sealed --
permanently.
476
00:19:44,666 --> 00:19:45,736
Remember?
477
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:47,320
Shit.
478
00:19:49,774 --> 00:19:50,914
Okay.
479
00:19:52,363 --> 00:19:54,373
Oh, how's this thing going?
480
00:20:01,821 --> 00:20:04,381
A basketball game
became a horror show tonight
481
00:20:04,410 --> 00:20:07,000
when a beloved mascot
died in screaming agony
482
00:20:07,033 --> 00:20:08,723
in front of hundreds of fans.
483
00:20:08,759 --> 00:20:12,309
James "M.C. Dunks" Morowitz
collapsed suddenly
484
00:20:12,349 --> 00:20:14,899
during tonight's game
due to what doctors diagnosed
485
00:20:14,937 --> 00:20:17,627
as an "explosive rupture
of the appendix."
486
00:20:17,664 --> 00:20:20,464
The mascot has already been
permanently retired,
487
00:20:20,495 --> 00:20:23,325
as psychologists believe
even seeing his image
488
00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:26,500
may trigger scarring flashbacks
for those unlucky enough
489
00:20:26,535 --> 00:20:28,775
to have witnessed
his nightmarish demise.
490
00:20:28,813 --> 00:20:32,233
Sports, ironically, is next.
31883
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