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1
00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:04,412
Hey, Gina!
We got an anonymous gift basket.
2
00:00:04,413 --> 00:00:05,493
Yeah, it's full of treats.
3
00:00:05,494 --> 00:00:07,324
It's got meats, cheeses,
candies,
4
00:00:07,325 --> 00:00:08,334
all the food groups.
5
00:00:08,335 --> 00:00:09,415
The cheese is amazing.
6
00:00:09,416 --> 00:00:12,286
It melts in my mouth
and in my hands.
7
00:00:12,287 --> 00:00:15,052
Hmm, French chocolates,
French cheeses,
8
00:00:15,053 --> 00:00:16,339
tiny French pickles.
9
00:00:16,340 --> 00:00:18,510
Did none of you detectives
think this might be a gift
10
00:00:18,511 --> 00:00:22,372
for Captain Holt from
someone in France?
11
00:00:22,373 --> 00:00:24,638
Like his husband,
par exemple?
12
00:00:24,639 --> 00:00:27,355
What?
No way.
13
00:00:27,356 --> 00:00:30,507
This is a nice present from
an unknown, appreciative citizen
14
00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:32,328
that wanted us to munch.
15
00:00:32,329 --> 00:00:34,309
Hmm, what's this, then?
16
00:00:34,310 --> 00:00:36,701
"Dear Captain Raymond Holt,
thinking of you.
17
00:00:36,702 --> 00:00:40,322
Best, Dr. Kevin Cozner, Ph.D."
18
00:00:40,323 --> 00:00:42,353
He even used their pet names.
19
00:00:42,354 --> 00:00:44,987
Oh, no, I ate the
chocolate-covered strawberry.
20
00:00:44,988 --> 00:00:46,703
That's the most intimate
snack of them all.
21
00:00:46,704 --> 00:00:48,367
Holt's gonna be back from
his meeting in 30 minutes.
22
00:00:48,368 --> 00:00:49,862
- What do we do?
- Eat the note!
23
00:00:49,863 --> 00:00:52,339
No!
No.
24
00:00:52,340 --> 00:00:54,761
It's okay.
We can fix this.
25
00:00:56,529 --> 00:00:57,716
Check it out, sir.
26
00:00:57,717 --> 00:01:02,375
A lovely gift basket that Kevin
sent you all the way from Paris.
27
00:01:02,376 --> 00:01:04,126
Straight from Paris!
28
00:01:08,519 --> 00:01:11,727
Stapler, scissors.
29
00:01:13,522 --> 00:01:15,473
Rubber bands.
30
00:01:18,525 --> 00:01:21,039
That man really knows me.
31
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:26,303
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
32
00:01:43,543 --> 00:01:45,583
Attention, squad.
I just received a call.
33
00:01:45,584 --> 00:01:48,525
A very important,
very high profile celebrity
34
00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:49,908
was robbed in our precinct.
35
00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:51,617
What celebrity, sir?
Is it a Chris?
36
00:01:51,618 --> 00:01:55,459
Hemsworth? Evans? Pratt? Pine?
Brown? Cross?
37
00:01:55,460 --> 00:01:56,570
Is it a non-Chris?
38
00:01:56,571 --> 00:01:59,601
This is a sensitive matter,
and I can only disclose details
39
00:01:59,602 --> 00:02:01,522
to the lead detective
on the case.
40
00:02:01,523 --> 00:02:03,553
Sergeant, let me know
who's available, ASAP.
41
00:02:03,554 --> 00:02:04,594
Yes, sir.
42
00:02:04,595 --> 00:02:06,665
Sarge, Sarge, Sarge.
43
00:02:06,666 --> 00:02:08,879
You know
that I'm your guy for this.
44
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,458
You can't give
a celebrity case to Amy.
45
00:02:11,459 --> 00:02:14,580
The last movie she saw was
a documentary about spelling bees.
46
00:02:14,581 --> 00:02:17,531
Wrong; it was about
the font Helvetica,
47
00:02:17,532 --> 00:02:19,200
and it played like
an action thriller.
48
00:02:19,201 --> 00:02:21,504
You already have
a case, Peralta.
49
00:02:21,505 --> 00:02:22,902
I assigned it to you
this morning.
50
00:02:22,903 --> 00:02:25,088
That was just some kid with
a little bit of pot on him.
51
00:02:25,089 --> 00:02:27,527
Meanwhile, Chris Rock
is tied up in his basement
52
00:02:27,528 --> 00:02:29,658
calling out for my help,
and you're standing in my way.
53
00:02:29,659 --> 00:02:31,649
Just work the case
I assigned you.
54
00:02:31,650 --> 00:02:33,601
Can't I just give my case
to Hitchcock and Scully?
55
00:02:33,602 --> 00:02:35,622
I mean, they clearly have
a ton of time on their hands.
56
00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:37,485
Hitchcock hasn't even gotten
out of his chair today.
57
00:02:37,486 --> 00:02:40,625
Hey, Jake, I can go
anywhere in this thing.
58
00:02:40,626 --> 00:02:43,231
But... shouldn't.
59
00:02:43,232 --> 00:02:45,567
Hitchcock and Scully
are house mouses.
60
00:02:45,568 --> 00:02:47,568
They do paperwork
and they're good at it.
61
00:02:47,569 --> 00:02:49,281
They don't go out
in the field.
62
00:02:49,282 --> 00:02:51,897
Boyle, you take
the celebrity case.
63
00:02:52,322 --> 00:02:54,890
Me? Instead of Jake?
64
00:02:54,891 --> 00:02:57,664
Have you lost your damn mind?
I am so sorry, Jake.
65
00:02:57,665 --> 00:02:59,127
I don't know what's
wrong with Terry.
66
00:02:59,128 --> 00:03:01,261
Don't worry.
I'm gonna work it with you.
67
00:03:01,262 --> 00:03:03,688
I'm giving my drug bust
to Hitchcock and Scully.
68
00:03:03,689 --> 00:03:06,659
It's time to get these mice
out of their hice.
69
00:03:06,660 --> 00:03:08,600
Oh, that was lame.
Life is meaningless.
70
00:03:08,601 --> 00:03:10,091
We're all gonna die.
71
00:03:10,092 --> 00:03:12,623
Mouses out of their houses.
Yes, I am the greatest.
72
00:03:12,624 --> 00:03:14,674
Every breath is a gift.
Sorry about the roller coaster.
73
00:03:14,675 --> 00:03:17,058
I'm just happy
I'm tall enough to ride.
74
00:03:17,727 --> 00:03:18,792
Hey, Rosa.
75
00:03:18,793 --> 00:03:20,557
Saw you hadn't signed up
for the blood drive yet,
76
00:03:20,558 --> 00:03:22,022
so I brought you the sheet.
77
00:03:22,023 --> 00:03:25,945
Sorry, can't.
I'm... under 17 years old.
78
00:03:25,946 --> 00:03:28,722
Wait, you didn't sign up
last year, either.
79
00:03:28,723 --> 00:03:31,603
Or the year before.
80
00:03:31,604 --> 00:03:32,684
Are you afraid of needles?
81
00:03:32,685 --> 00:03:34,545
I don't like being
stabbed by someone
82
00:03:34,546 --> 00:03:35,616
so they can steal my blood.
83
00:03:35,617 --> 00:03:37,156
I'm crazy.
84
00:03:37,157 --> 00:03:40,124
This is amazing; you're
scared of something I'm not.
85
00:03:40,125 --> 00:03:42,447
I'm tougher than you.
I'm tougher than Rosa.
86
00:03:42,448 --> 00:03:44,701
Eh, I take it back.
I'm so sorry.
87
00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:47,693
Look, it's okay.
We all have fears.
88
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,564
I'm so claustrophobic,
I can't even go
89
00:03:49,565 --> 00:03:51,635
into the downstairs
supply closet.
90
00:03:51,636 --> 00:03:53,626
I hear they have some
hot new binder clips,
91
00:03:53,627 --> 00:03:55,707
but I'll never know.
92
00:03:55,708 --> 00:03:57,288
I'm scared of businessmen.
93
00:03:57,289 --> 00:04:01,540
A whole army of gray-suited
Brads and Chads trying
94
00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:05,723
to suck my soul and redeem it
for frequent flyer miles.
95
00:04:05,724 --> 00:04:07,077
Great, so you guys get it.
96
00:04:07,078 --> 00:04:09,039
- Conversation over, bye.
- No, no, no, no, no.
97
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:13,201
What if we each agree to face
one of our fears today
98
00:04:13,202 --> 00:04:16,363
for ourselves
and for all of womenkind?
99
00:04:16,364 --> 00:04:18,167
Ugh.
That sounds terrible.
100
00:04:18,168 --> 00:04:20,198
But I'm in.
101
00:04:20,947 --> 00:04:22,489
Fine, I'll do it too.
102
00:04:22,490 --> 00:04:24,272
Guys, come on.
103
00:04:24,273 --> 00:04:26,755
I really think this'll
be good for... oh, wait.
104
00:04:26,756 --> 00:04:29,351
You... we're doing my thing?
Okay.
105
00:04:29,842 --> 00:04:31,498
Thanks for taking us
to lunch, Jake.
106
00:04:31,499 --> 00:04:33,330
Of course.
Get whatever you want.
107
00:04:33,331 --> 00:04:35,477
Oh, man, I already ate.
108
00:04:35,478 --> 00:04:37,455
I guess I'll just have
a cheeseburger deluxe,
109
00:04:37,456 --> 00:04:39,712
couple slices of pie,
maybe an egg cream.
110
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,653
- Okay.
- And a waffle.
111
00:04:41,654 --> 00:04:44,615
So look, a big, important
drug case came across my desk,
112
00:04:44,616 --> 00:04:45,564
and I need your help.
113
00:04:45,565 --> 00:04:48,687
Only problem is, Sarge doesn't
think you can handle it.
114
00:04:48,688 --> 00:04:50,708
- He's right.
- No, he's not.
115
00:04:50,709 --> 00:04:52,230
Look, you're
Hitchcock and Scully.
116
00:04:52,231 --> 00:04:53,418
You guys are legends.
117
00:04:53,419 --> 00:04:56,236
You single-handedly caught
the Prospect Park Flasher.
118
00:04:56,237 --> 00:04:58,068
Well, he was being
chased by other cops,
119
00:04:58,069 --> 00:04:59,744
but he did slip
on my spilled chili.
120
00:04:59,745 --> 00:05:02,675
And who bumped into Scully,
causing the spill? Me.
121
00:05:02,676 --> 00:05:05,687
Damn right, and who fell
asleep under their desks
122
00:05:05,688 --> 00:05:07,355
and caught the janitor
stealing evidence?
123
00:05:07,356 --> 00:05:08,161
We did.
124
00:05:08,162 --> 00:05:09,689
And who sued the department
125
00:05:09,690 --> 00:05:12,681
and got triple-ply toilet paper
in every precinct?
126
00:05:12,682 --> 00:05:13,681
We did.
127
00:05:13,682 --> 00:05:14,702
Terry thinks you guys
128
00:05:14,703 --> 00:05:15,753
are too old and too lazy
to handle this,
129
00:05:15,754 --> 00:05:17,594
but I know what
you're really made of.
130
00:05:17,595 --> 00:05:19,362
You're gonna take this case
and prove him wrong!
131
00:05:19,363 --> 00:05:21,272
- Yeah!
- Whoo-hoo!
132
00:05:21,273 --> 00:05:23,285
We're still gonna
eat lunch, right?
133
00:05:23,286 --> 00:05:25,788
Obviously, a high profile
celebrity case such as this one
134
00:05:25,789 --> 00:05:28,288
needs to be handled
with the utmost discretion.
135
00:05:28,908 --> 00:05:30,916
I promise
I'll be professional,
136
00:05:30,917 --> 00:05:32,502
even if it's Dianne Wiest.
137
00:05:32,503 --> 00:05:35,804
Oh, my God, I can't believe I'm
gonna meet Dianne Wiest!
138
00:05:35,805 --> 00:05:37,775
She's so sexual!
139
00:05:37,776 --> 00:05:40,882
No, our victim...
140
00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:44,321
is John... William...
141
00:05:45,771 --> 00:05:47,682
Weichselbraun.
142
00:05:48,732 --> 00:05:50,474
Remind me who that is again?
143
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:53,189
You're kidding.
He's a world-renowned oboist,
144
00:05:53,190 --> 00:05:55,349
first chair with the New York
Symphony Orchestra.
145
00:05:55,350 --> 00:05:58,797
Kevin and I are huge fans
of Weichselbraun's work.
146
00:05:58,798 --> 00:06:02,769
We are what the Internet
sometimes refers to as...
147
00:06:02,770 --> 00:06:04,740
Weichselbraun fans.
148
00:06:04,741 --> 00:06:05,763
Not Weichselbrauniacs?
149
00:06:05,764 --> 00:06:07,775
Oh, that's very good.
150
00:06:07,776 --> 00:06:09,393
I'm gonna use that liberally.
151
00:06:09,394 --> 00:06:12,064
Anyway, Weichselbraun's
$40,000 oboe
152
00:06:12,065 --> 00:06:13,297
was stolen from his apartment,
153
00:06:13,298 --> 00:06:15,052
and you need to find it.
154
00:06:15,053 --> 00:06:16,777
I'd work the case myself
155
00:06:16,778 --> 00:06:18,938
if it didn't smack
of preferential treatment.
156
00:06:18,939 --> 00:06:21,002
Don't worry, sir.
I can handle this.
157
00:06:21,003 --> 00:06:23,811
So you do think it smacks
of preferential treatment?
158
00:06:23,812 --> 00:06:25,832
I don't know what
you want me to say.
159
00:06:25,833 --> 00:06:28,685
Okay, you've convinced me.
I'll work the case with you.
160
00:06:30,138 --> 00:06:31,691
Great.
161
00:06:32,143 --> 00:06:34,144
I think you owe me
an apology.
162
00:06:34,145 --> 00:06:36,299
I'll apologize
to you in hell.
163
00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:38,139
I actually don't know
what this is about.
164
00:06:38,140 --> 00:06:39,468
Sorry I took
such a hard stance.
165
00:06:39,469 --> 00:06:42,842
Holt's celebrity was
just some lame oboist.
166
00:06:42,843 --> 00:06:46,794
Meanwhile, we just linked
your little dumb pot bust
167
00:06:46,795 --> 00:06:48,825
to a major narcotics ring.
168
00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:51,039
This might be the biggest drug
case
169
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,988
the Nine-Nine's had in years.
170
00:06:52,989 --> 00:06:54,464
Cool.
171
00:06:54,465 --> 00:06:56,820
Uh-oh.
172
00:06:56,821 --> 00:06:58,622
I know a real "cool"
when I hear one.
173
00:06:58,623 --> 00:07:01,543
That wasn't a real "cool."
What did you do?
174
00:07:02,407 --> 00:07:05,745
Well...
175
00:07:05,746 --> 00:07:08,757
I may have given
that very huge drug case
176
00:07:08,758 --> 00:07:10,199
to Hitchcock and Scully.
177
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,659
- What?
- In my defense,
178
00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:16,072
I was pretty sure you were
never gonna find out.
179
00:07:17,396 --> 00:07:19,394
I don't know where
Hitchcock and Scully are.
180
00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:20,568
They're not answering
their phones,
181
00:07:20,569 --> 00:07:23,376
and they signed our dealer...
the one link to our drug ring...
182
00:07:23,377 --> 00:07:24,497
out of holding.
183
00:07:24,498 --> 00:07:27,419
I swear, if they mess up
this case, Jake, it's on you.
184
00:07:27,420 --> 00:07:28,800
They're detectives.
185
00:07:28,801 --> 00:07:30,370
They've been on the force
for 500 years.
186
00:07:30,371 --> 00:07:31,640
They know what they're doing.
187
00:07:31,641 --> 00:07:34,493
The only item on Scully's
calendar for the entire year
188
00:07:34,494 --> 00:07:36,304
is "eat peanut butter."
189
00:07:36,305 --> 00:07:37,424
Yeah, we got to find them.
190
00:07:37,425 --> 00:07:39,720
And to do that, we have
to think like they do.
191
00:07:41,101 --> 00:07:42,843
I'm going in.
192
00:07:43,576 --> 00:07:47,500
All right, there's
the butt indentation,
193
00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:48,521
and...
194
00:07:49,522 --> 00:07:50,522
I'm docked.
195
00:07:50,523 --> 00:07:52,712
Ugh.
Still warm.
196
00:07:52,713 --> 00:07:56,415
All right, residual cushion fart
is about a six out of ten.
197
00:07:56,416 --> 00:07:58,199
He's been gone an hour,
maybe two.
198
00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,618
- But where?
- Hot dogs.
199
00:07:59,619 --> 00:08:01,448
- They went for hot dogs.
- How do you know?
200
00:08:01,449 --> 00:08:04,440
There's a water stain on
the ceiling in the shape of a bun.
201
00:08:04,441 --> 00:08:05,746
Let's go.
202
00:08:07,492 --> 00:08:09,799
Excuse me, have you
seen Hitchcock and Scully?
203
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,484
Three times a day
for 12 years.
204
00:08:11,485 --> 00:08:14,365
Twice as often since I started
serving sweet wieners.
205
00:08:14,366 --> 00:08:15,406
Sweet wieners?
206
00:08:15,407 --> 00:08:17,327
It's a normal hot dog
with a little chocolate sauce.
207
00:08:17,328 --> 00:08:18,498
- One please!
- No, Jake.
208
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,976
- No, Terry.
- Have you seen them recently?
209
00:08:20,977 --> 00:08:23,349
Half hour ago... they ate, and
then they took off in a hurry.
210
00:08:23,350 --> 00:08:24,836
Half an hour.
211
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:27,138
They could be anywhere by now.
Nope, there's Scully.
212
00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:29,484
Where's Hitchcock?
213
00:08:29,485 --> 00:08:31,345
I'm taking you guys
off your drug case.
214
00:08:31,346 --> 00:08:32,385
Of course you are.
215
00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:33,931
Jake said you didn't
believe in us.
216
00:08:33,932 --> 00:08:36,418
What? He didn't
believe in you either.
217
00:08:36,419 --> 00:08:39,182
He was just pumping you up with
lies so you'd work his case.
218
00:08:39,183 --> 00:08:40,757
Jake, is this true?
219
00:08:40,758 --> 00:08:42,571
I just thought, you know,
220
00:08:42,572 --> 00:08:44,945
the two of you might
be better off
221
00:08:44,946 --> 00:08:46,687
mousing around the old house.
222
00:08:46,688 --> 00:08:48,344
Oh, I get it.
223
00:08:48,345 --> 00:08:51,210
Just because I got my finger
stuck in a glue trap once,
224
00:08:51,211 --> 00:08:52,517
I'm a mouse?
225
00:08:52,518 --> 00:08:54,348
I got the cheese out,
by the way.
226
00:08:54,349 --> 00:08:55,954
- Oh, my God.
- Look, man,
227
00:08:55,955 --> 00:08:57,560
we need to know
where Hitchcock is.
228
00:08:57,561 --> 00:08:59,570
I am ordering you
to tell us everything.
229
00:08:59,571 --> 00:09:01,542
Fine.
We're setting up a sting.
230
00:09:01,543 --> 00:09:04,014
I'm going undercover
as Tex Dallas,
231
00:09:04,015 --> 00:09:06,365
billionaire oil man
from Dallas, Texas,
232
00:09:06,366 --> 00:09:08,061
with ties
to the cowboy mafia.
233
00:09:08,062 --> 00:09:10,216
- Oh, boy.
- Hitchcock's my middle man,
234
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:13,399
Reno Vegas,
mobster from Reno, Las Vegas.
235
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:14,489
I said my "oh, boy" too soon.
236
00:09:14,490 --> 00:09:17,401
In 20 minutes, he's going in
totally alone, unarmed,
237
00:09:17,402 --> 00:09:19,412
without a cell phone,
to meet with one of their guys
238
00:09:19,413 --> 00:09:20,483
to set up a buy.
239
00:09:20,484 --> 00:09:22,374
So how do you like
our plan now?
240
00:09:22,375 --> 00:09:24,939
It's a disaster, man!
We got to stop it!
241
00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:27,367
Disaster? Tell me
one thing that's wrong
242
00:09:27,368 --> 00:09:28,447
with Operation Beans.
243
00:09:28,448 --> 00:09:30,565
Operation Beans?
244
00:09:31,913 --> 00:09:34,401
Good afternoon, sir.
I'm Detective Charles Boyle...
245
00:09:34,402 --> 00:09:35,939
From the Nine-Nine.
246
00:09:35,940 --> 00:09:38,352
My precinct.
I'm the captain, Raymond Holt.
247
00:09:39,424 --> 00:09:41,515
Okay.
Uh, please, come on in.
248
00:09:41,516 --> 00:09:44,193
I'll show you the back room
where they broke in.
249
00:09:44,194 --> 00:09:46,558
You're an incredibly gracious host,
Mr. Weichselbraun.
250
00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:49,409
Wow, that pronunciation
is flawless.
251
00:09:51,421 --> 00:09:55,383
I must admit, I'm a bit
of a Weichselbrauniac.
252
00:09:55,384 --> 00:09:59,405
Hmm, I saw you perform Bach's
"Oboe Sonata in G Minor"
253
00:09:59,406 --> 00:10:00,710
at the Brooklyn Academy
of Music.
254
00:10:00,711 --> 00:10:02,103
I was in the front row.
255
00:10:02,104 --> 00:10:04,642
You were escorted out
for gasping too loudly.
256
00:10:04,643 --> 00:10:05,598
Ah.
257
00:10:05,599 --> 00:10:07,819
This is a pretty
modest apartment.
258
00:10:07,820 --> 00:10:11,422
How did you afford a $40,000
oboe in the first place?
259
00:10:11,423 --> 00:10:13,027
I admit that there's
not as much money
260
00:10:13,028 --> 00:10:14,647
in classical music
as there once was...
261
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:17,515
Which is the real crime here.
262
00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:19,416
Boyle, can I
talk to you privately?
263
00:10:19,417 --> 00:10:20,467
Sure.
264
00:10:20,468 --> 00:10:22,408
What are you doing?
You just insulted
265
00:10:22,409 --> 00:10:24,471
our celebrity victim
to his face.
266
00:10:24,472 --> 00:10:26,430
You keep saying "celebrity,"
but he's drying his socks
267
00:10:26,431 --> 00:10:28,421
on a George Foreman grill.
268
00:10:28,422 --> 00:10:30,502
This is John William
Weichselbraun,
269
00:10:30,503 --> 00:10:33,514
the Silver Spit Prince.
270
00:10:33,515 --> 00:10:36,047
I'm making myself primary
detective on this case.
271
00:10:36,048 --> 00:10:37,105
You can wait in the car.
272
00:10:37,106 --> 00:10:39,428
Oh, but first, take a picture
of the two of us together.
273
00:10:39,429 --> 00:10:40,519
Make sure we're laughing.
274
00:10:42,396 --> 00:10:43,630
Ha-ha!
275
00:10:45,472 --> 00:10:46,602
Ah.
276
00:10:46,603 --> 00:10:51,564
Okay, so, I'm going to face
my fear of confined spaces.
277
00:10:51,565 --> 00:10:54,456
When I'm ready,
you will shut the trunk
278
00:10:54,457 --> 00:10:56,738
and leave me here
for 30 minutes.
279
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,172
I left a juice box
and a diaper in there for you,
280
00:10:59,173 --> 00:11:00,509
so you're gonna be fine.
281
00:11:00,510 --> 00:11:02,441
Or we could all
give in to our fears
282
00:11:02,442 --> 00:11:04,452
and keep our blood in
our bodies like normal people.
283
00:11:04,453 --> 00:11:07,483
No, Rosa, we are doing
something important here.
284
00:11:07,484 --> 00:11:10,445
We are women, standing up
and supporting each other
285
00:11:10,446 --> 00:11:11,646
and becoming...
286
00:11:11,647 --> 00:11:13,547
listening
to Amy inspire us.
287
00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:16,619
Be back in a half hour, Ames.
288
00:11:16,620 --> 00:11:19,510
Wait! Come back!
289
00:11:19,511 --> 00:11:21,451
Come back, I can't do this!
290
00:11:21,452 --> 00:11:23,514
No, you're the best!
291
00:11:28,171 --> 00:11:29,731
You did it.
How'd it go?
292
00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:34,312
Well, the first ten minutes
were really terrible.
293
00:11:34,313 --> 00:11:36,670
The diaper did not fit.
It was for a baby.
294
00:11:36,671 --> 00:11:41,593
But then I relaxed,
and I found my inner strength.
295
00:11:41,594 --> 00:11:44,267
I think the lesson here is that,
as women, we...
296
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:45,256
No, no, no, no!
297
00:11:45,257 --> 00:11:47,039
You close that trunk again
and I will kill you!
298
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,875
You hear me?
I will kill you!
299
00:11:51,424 --> 00:11:53,480
We're almost there.
Slow down, Pinto.
300
00:11:53,481 --> 00:11:54,550
I didn't agree to a bean name.
301
00:11:54,551 --> 00:11:56,845
We are not doing
Operation Beans.
302
00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:59,059
You know, the only reason
Hitchcock and I took this case
303
00:11:59,060 --> 00:12:00,607
is because you said
we were great.
304
00:12:00,608 --> 00:12:02,495
I'm beginning to think
you were lying to us.
305
00:12:02,496 --> 00:12:05,010
I was lying!
I already admitted that.
306
00:12:05,011 --> 00:12:07,548
Well, if anything happens,
it's because of you.
307
00:12:07,549 --> 00:12:09,129
- Right, Mung?
- Right.
308
00:12:09,130 --> 00:12:10,649
If Hitchcock dies,
it's 'cause of Pinto.
309
00:12:10,650 --> 00:12:12,095
Terry, I know
that you're mad,
310
00:12:12,096 --> 00:12:14,173
but you don't have
to jump on the bean train.
311
00:12:14,174 --> 00:12:15,573
Uh-oh.
312
00:12:17,574 --> 00:12:20,686
Chickpea!
No!
313
00:12:23,463 --> 00:12:24,572
Looks like they're
taking Hitchcock
314
00:12:24,573 --> 00:12:26,692
inside that building, and it
looks like they're armed.
315
00:12:26,693 --> 00:12:27,743
Dammit, Jake!
316
00:12:27,744 --> 00:12:29,844
You couldn't just do
the case I assigned you?
317
00:12:29,845 --> 00:12:32,626
Hitchcock's life is in danger.
He has a wife, man.
318
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:33,817
Don't worry.
If anything happens to him,
319
00:12:33,818 --> 00:12:35,648
she'll be taken care of.
320
00:12:35,649 --> 00:12:38,358
If I die, I want you
to marry Lucille.
321
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,073
I can't stand the thought
of you being alone.
322
00:12:41,074 --> 00:12:43,502
Deal. Let's make it
a blood pact.
323
00:12:43,503 --> 00:12:46,634
Oh, look,
I'm already bleeding.
324
00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:48,462
So just normal friend stuff.
325
00:12:48,463 --> 00:12:51,054
- So what's the plan?
- We stick with Operation Beans.
326
00:12:51,055 --> 00:12:53,648
We knock on the front door.
I say I'm Tex Dallas.
327
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:55,856
You're my buddy, Alamo,
and you're Black Fred.
328
00:12:55,857 --> 00:12:58,318
Black Fred?
Why Black Fred?
329
00:12:58,319 --> 00:12:59,651
There's no other Fred!
330
00:12:59,652 --> 00:13:01,115
Yeah, but they don't
know that.
331
00:13:01,116 --> 00:13:02,405
I say Terry and I go in
332
00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:03,831
through the roof
and do some recon.
333
00:13:03,832 --> 00:13:06,125
Scully, you stay here and call
for backup in case we need it.
334
00:13:06,126 --> 00:13:07,145
Oh, no way.
335
00:13:07,146 --> 00:13:09,085
That's my partner in there.
I'm going in.
336
00:13:09,086 --> 00:13:11,827
Also, I can't call for help.
I don't have any quarters.
337
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:14,705
Hard to argue
with that logic.
338
00:13:15,884 --> 00:13:17,028
- You know I...
- Sir, I need to talk to you
339
00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:19,211
about the Weichselbraun case.
340
00:13:19,654 --> 00:13:22,497
Oh, I didn't realize you
were here, Mr. Weichselbraun.
341
00:13:22,498 --> 00:13:24,619
I was in the area,
and the captain is a fan,
342
00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:27,395
so I came by to give him
a little gift, as a thank you.
343
00:13:27,396 --> 00:13:30,001
It's a signed copy
of his book of mouth exercises.
344
00:13:30,002 --> 00:13:33,102
"Reed It and Weep."
"Reed" with two Es?
345
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:34,761
It's my favorite joke
of all time.
346
00:13:34,762 --> 00:13:36,682
- I'll come back later.
- Oh, nonsense.
347
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:39,694
I'm sure John...
he insists I call him "John"...
348
00:13:39,695 --> 00:13:41,393
I'm sure John would
appreciate an update
349
00:13:41,394 --> 00:13:43,864
on the whereabouts of his oboe,
wouldn't you, John?
350
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,232
- Yeah.
- Well said, John.
351
00:13:45,233 --> 00:13:47,033
- Did you hear what John said?
- I did,
352
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:48,530
but it's an open
investigation,
353
00:13:48,531 --> 00:13:50,363
and I don't think it's proper
to share information
354
00:13:50,364 --> 00:13:51,681
with the parties involved.
355
00:13:51,682 --> 00:13:53,051
Well, that's why you're
no longer the primary.
356
00:13:53,052 --> 00:13:55,663
John played oboe for
Lynne Cheney.
357
00:13:55,664 --> 00:13:57,738
I'm sure we can
trust him to be discreet.
358
00:13:57,739 --> 00:13:59,685
- Out with it.
- Okay, well,
359
00:13:59,686 --> 00:14:00,976
John, you're under arrest.
360
00:14:00,977 --> 00:14:02,163
- What?
- Excuse me?
361
00:14:02,164 --> 00:14:04,462
He staged the robbery
for the insurance money
362
00:14:04,463 --> 00:14:07,538
because he's broke, because
oboists are not celebrities.
363
00:14:07,539 --> 00:14:09,216
This is ludicrous, Boyle.
364
00:14:09,217 --> 00:14:11,491
Do you have one iota
of evidence?
365
00:14:11,492 --> 00:14:13,751
I found the oboe
for sale online.
366
00:14:13,752 --> 00:14:16,961
We traced the IP address back to
Mr. Weichselbraun's computer.
367
00:14:19,352 --> 00:14:21,599
Oh, John.
368
00:14:22,126 --> 00:14:24,548
Okay, Sarge, everyone
knows you're a superhero,
369
00:14:24,549 --> 00:14:26,937
so you lower Scully and I
into that skylight
370
00:14:26,938 --> 00:14:28,044
and then fly down to meet us.
371
00:14:28,045 --> 00:14:29,669
- You know that's impossible.
- Fine.
372
00:14:29,670 --> 00:14:31,372
We'll lower Scully
down together,
373
00:14:31,373 --> 00:14:33,493
and then flop onto him
like a giant mattress.
374
00:14:33,494 --> 00:14:35,554
No, you go first,
then I lower Scully,
375
00:14:35,555 --> 00:14:38,858
and you...
you get to catch him.
376
00:14:38,859 --> 00:14:40,886
Great.
I love that plan.
377
00:14:42,428 --> 00:14:43,539
Come on.
378
00:14:43,540 --> 00:14:45,578
Whoa!
379
00:14:45,579 --> 00:14:47,548
I got him.
380
00:14:52,862 --> 00:14:55,067
- Look what I found.
- French fries?
381
00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:57,218
What?
No, it's Hitchcock.
382
00:14:57,219 --> 00:14:59,836
Where would I have found
French fries in a weed farm?
383
00:15:01,546 --> 00:15:04,171
Oh, man, look at him.
This is bad.
384
00:15:04,172 --> 00:15:06,051
He hates standing up.
385
00:15:06,730 --> 00:15:08,740
To conquer my fear
of businessmen,
386
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,409
I must walk among them.
387
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,679
I will shake
their clammy hands
388
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:15,734
and listen to them talk
about things like
389
00:15:15,735 --> 00:15:17,995
how hard Wednesdays can be.
390
00:15:18,924 --> 00:15:21,958
Does this outfit look
drab and lifeless enough?
391
00:15:21,959 --> 00:15:24,573
Also, thanks, Amy,
for letting me borrow it.
392
00:15:24,574 --> 00:15:27,791
You're welcome.
I wore that suit to prom.
393
00:15:27,792 --> 00:15:29,475
Student chaperone.
394
00:15:29,847 --> 00:15:31,874
I guess this
is really happening.
395
00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:38,908
How about those
quarterly write-offs?
396
00:15:38,909 --> 00:15:41,452
And did you hear
about the merger?
397
00:15:41,453 --> 00:15:44,555
Also, we all need to go in
on those flowers for Beth.
398
00:15:44,556 --> 00:15:46,589
Aw, Wednesdays.
399
00:15:46,590 --> 00:15:47,634
Who are you again?
400
00:15:47,635 --> 00:15:51,075
Gina, from Sales.
I have the plant on my desk.
401
00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:54,168
Oh, yeah.
You want to sit with us.
402
00:15:54,623 --> 00:15:56,285
We'll all be dead so soon.
403
00:15:56,286 --> 00:15:57,808
What?
404
00:15:57,809 --> 00:15:59,212
I would love to sit.
405
00:16:01,730 --> 00:16:03,922
Ugh.
406
00:16:03,923 --> 00:16:06,893
That was a nightmare.
I ate a Caesar salad wrap.
407
00:16:06,894 --> 00:16:09,795
I'm so proud of you,
you lioness.
408
00:16:09,796 --> 00:16:10,846
You faced your fear.
409
00:16:10,847 --> 00:16:13,639
And I emerged victorious.
410
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,769
Yay!
411
00:16:17,771 --> 00:16:18,770
That was a wig?
412
00:16:19,101 --> 00:16:22,651
You didn't think I'd put
my actual hair in a ponytail?
413
00:16:22,652 --> 00:16:23,783
Are you insane?
414
00:16:23,784 --> 00:16:25,104
Oh, there's the boss.
415
00:16:27,351 --> 00:16:30,827
I ask only one time.
Who do you work for?
416
00:16:30,828 --> 00:16:33,809
DEA? FBI? Police?
417
00:16:33,810 --> 00:16:35,790
I'm in the cowboy mafia.
418
00:16:35,791 --> 00:16:37,603
I work for the Dallas
Buyers Club.
419
00:16:37,604 --> 00:16:39,792
- I came up with that name.
- No, you didn't.
420
00:16:39,793 --> 00:16:41,823
It's a movie about AIDS.
421
00:16:41,824 --> 00:16:44,005
You're lying.
Let's try again.
422
00:16:44,006 --> 00:16:45,926
- FBI?
- Oof!
423
00:16:45,927 --> 00:16:47,016
DEA?
424
00:16:47,017 --> 00:16:48,887
- Police?
- Aah!
425
00:16:48,888 --> 00:16:50,788
Oh no, he's not gonna last.
426
00:16:50,789 --> 00:16:51,969
Oh, Jake, you got
to do something.
427
00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:53,985
I don't want to
marry Hitchcock's wife.
428
00:16:54,660 --> 00:16:56,862
Here we come, Chickpea.
429
00:16:56,863 --> 00:16:59,944
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Easy!
430
00:16:59,945 --> 00:17:01,178
Howdy there!
431
00:17:01,179 --> 00:17:02,965
I'd really appreciate it
kindly
432
00:17:02,966 --> 00:17:06,267
if y'all would stop punching
my associate Reno, there.
433
00:17:06,268 --> 00:17:08,949
Let me introduce myself.
My name is Alamo.
434
00:17:08,950 --> 00:17:10,990
This here's Tex,
and this is...
435
00:17:10,991 --> 00:17:12,881
Fred.
Just Fred.
436
00:17:12,882 --> 00:17:15,973
And we are...
437
00:17:15,974 --> 00:17:17,874
the Dallas Buyers Club.
438
00:17:17,875 --> 00:17:20,005
Okay.
We make a deal.
439
00:17:21,037 --> 00:17:22,867
Sounds good.
440
00:17:22,868 --> 00:17:24,440
No, I just told them
to surround you.
441
00:17:24,441 --> 00:17:25,979
Dagnabbit.
Oof!
442
00:17:28,522 --> 00:17:30,802
Look, Sarge, I'm sorry
that we're in this mess,
443
00:17:30,803 --> 00:17:32,032
but on the bright side,
444
00:17:32,033 --> 00:17:34,043
we don't have to deal
with some lame oboist.
445
00:17:34,044 --> 00:17:36,164
You should be apologizing
to Hitchcock and Scully.
446
00:17:36,165 --> 00:17:38,986
You took them out of their
house mouse comfort zone,
447
00:17:38,987 --> 00:17:40,308
and now they might get killed.
448
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:42,377
You really think
they're going to kill us?
449
00:17:42,378 --> 00:17:44,848
Oh, no, now I'm starting
to panic sweat.
450
00:17:44,849 --> 00:17:46,288
Starting to?
451
00:17:46,289 --> 00:17:47,941
What have you been doing
for the past hour?
452
00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,735
- Normal sweating.
- Wait a minute.
453
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:53,924
If you get killed,
what happens to all your debt?
454
00:17:53,925 --> 00:17:56,887
Loophole!
455
00:17:58,018 --> 00:18:01,038
Oh, you sweaty,
chair-spinning morons.
456
00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:02,910
You're gonna get us
out of here.
457
00:18:03,931 --> 00:18:05,841
Boyle, may I speak to you?
458
00:18:06,512 --> 00:18:07,513
I don't know.
459
00:18:07,514 --> 00:18:09,702
Are you still mad
that I arrested John?
460
00:18:09,703 --> 00:18:10,872
No.
461
00:18:12,112 --> 00:18:15,086
I know he's guilty.
I'm just chagrined.
462
00:18:15,087 --> 00:18:16,899
Deeply chagrined.
463
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:20,379
I finally understand the old
adage, "Never meet your heroes."
464
00:18:20,380 --> 00:18:23,766
This is just like when I found
out Robert Frost was from...
465
00:18:24,617 --> 00:18:25,887
California.
466
00:18:25,888 --> 00:18:27,984
Or when I saw Mario Batali
with his hair down.
467
00:18:29,886 --> 00:18:32,327
Well, you've handled this case
with the utmost professionalism,
468
00:18:32,328 --> 00:18:34,841
while I've behaved crassly.
469
00:18:35,346 --> 00:18:37,386
I think I've figured out
a way to make it up to you.
470
00:18:37,779 --> 00:18:40,660
Oh, my God,
is Dianne Wiest here?
471
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:43,617
No, I've hired a trio
of classical musicians
472
00:18:43,618 --> 00:18:46,084
to perform
a Shostakovich cantata,
473
00:18:46,085 --> 00:18:50,531
originally written as
an apology to a dear friend.
474
00:18:53,129 --> 00:18:55,109
Are you stealing
kitchen supplies?
475
00:18:55,110 --> 00:18:56,571
Just let us have this stuff.
476
00:18:56,572 --> 00:18:58,422
You have so much,
and we have so little.
477
00:18:58,949 --> 00:19:01,897
Perhaps I'll just
buy you a drink instead.
478
00:19:01,898 --> 00:19:04,104
Yeah, that would be best.
479
00:19:04,105 --> 00:19:06,767
Classical musicians
are savages.
480
00:19:07,345 --> 00:19:09,117
They're not gonna
kill you fast, Scully.
481
00:19:09,118 --> 00:19:11,038
They're gonna
make it real slow.
482
00:19:11,039 --> 00:19:12,099
First they're gonna scalp you,
483
00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:14,030
and then they're gonna
rip your tongue out!
484
00:19:14,031 --> 00:19:16,911
No.
That's my cupcake taster!
485
00:19:16,912 --> 00:19:18,112
What are you doing?
Lay off him!
486
00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:21,376
Never! For my plan to work,
he's gotta be basting in sweat.
487
00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:24,285
Hitchcock, you once told me you
could roll that chair anywhere.
488
00:19:24,286 --> 00:19:25,676
Think you could take it
up those stairs?
489
00:19:25,677 --> 00:19:27,948
I once rode a chair home
in a blizzard.
490
00:19:27,949 --> 00:19:30,235
So, yeah, I can go up stairs.
491
00:19:30,236 --> 00:19:31,714
So do it.
492
00:19:35,903 --> 00:19:36,966
Oh, he's amazing.
493
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:39,680
He's like a big, lazy
Michelle Kwan.
494
00:19:39,681 --> 00:19:41,306
But how's he gonna get
up the stairs?
495
00:19:42,194 --> 00:19:44,509
Jake!
He already did.
496
00:19:46,981 --> 00:19:48,869
Okay, it's go time.
497
00:19:48,870 --> 00:19:51,404
Help!
My man's having a heart attack!
498
00:19:51,405 --> 00:19:52,633
Help!
499
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,073
Hitchcock, now!
500
00:19:57,075 --> 00:19:58,278
Scully!
Grab his gun.
501
00:20:03,266 --> 00:20:05,867
It's not sticky
because I'm so juicy!
502
00:20:05,868 --> 00:20:07,348
Told you I knew
what I was doing.
503
00:20:07,349 --> 00:20:08,723
Black Fred, think quick.
504
00:20:08,724 --> 00:20:11,072
No, no, ow!
That was a gun, man!
505
00:20:11,073 --> 00:20:13,431
Scully, grab that dude's knife
and cut us loose.
506
00:20:13,432 --> 00:20:15,178
We're gonna get the rest
of these guys.
507
00:20:15,179 --> 00:20:19,493
It's time for Operation Beans,
phase two, the refrying.
508
00:20:19,906 --> 00:20:21,361
Sure you're ready to go
through with this?
509
00:20:21,362 --> 00:20:23,946
You know what?
Today was stupid.
510
00:20:23,947 --> 00:20:26,273
But seeing you both overcome
your fears did help me,
511
00:20:26,274 --> 00:20:29,163
and I think we've
all grown as women.
512
00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:32,349
Okay.
513
00:20:32,350 --> 00:20:34,125
I'm ready.
514
00:20:34,126 --> 00:20:35,890
Stab me! Stab me!
515
00:20:35,891 --> 00:20:37,344
Do it, just do it!
516
00:20:37,345 --> 00:20:39,269
- Rosa?
- I'm psyching myself up.
517
00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:43,900
Don't look at them!
Look at me!
518
00:20:43,901 --> 00:20:45,888
Do your job!
Drain me!
519
00:20:49,337 --> 00:20:50,607
There they are!
520
00:20:50,608 --> 00:20:53,136
Everybody give it up
for Hitchcock and Scully.
521
00:20:54,879 --> 00:20:56,978
To thank you for all you did,
522
00:20:56,979 --> 00:20:59,038
bringing down a drug ring,
523
00:20:59,039 --> 00:21:00,607
we have a little present
for you:
524
00:21:00,608 --> 00:21:03,746
brand-new, top-of-the-line
desk chairs,
525
00:21:03,747 --> 00:21:06,866
extra padding, with adjustable
height and recline.
526
00:21:06,867 --> 00:21:08,604
Hey, chair!
527
00:21:08,605 --> 00:21:10,614
Get ready to meet
your new best friend:
528
00:21:10,615 --> 00:21:13,464
my ass.
529
00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:16,554
That was very nice of you.
530
00:21:16,555 --> 00:21:17,614
They did good.
531
00:21:17,615 --> 00:21:19,424
Also, I was worried
they might want
532
00:21:19,425 --> 00:21:20,694
to go out in the field more,
533
00:21:20,695 --> 00:21:22,896
and I need something to
keep them at their desks.
534
00:21:22,897 --> 00:21:25,454
You really think that that
is going to keep them at their...
535
00:21:25,455 --> 00:21:26,951
and they're both
asleep already.
536
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,584
And the city's safer for it.
537
00:21:28,585 --> 00:21:30,839
Sleep tight,
you magnificent oafs.
538
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,363
You deserve it.
539
00:21:32,364 --> 00:21:36,350
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/40093
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