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CHRIS: 'There's nothing
I love more at Christmas

than sitting down
with friends and family,

Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

and watching the best
Christmas film of all time:

Die Hard.'
(EXPLOSION)

PAUL: 'Back in 1988,
the barefooted John McClane's

gripping showdown
with the evil Hans Gruber

changed the action movie
landscape forever.

I wanted to be just like John
and attempt the coolest stunts

in cinema history,
but would he have survived

perilous action sequences
like this in real life?

(EXPLOSION)

Well, grab your dirty white vests,

because we've got
the task of a lifetime.

With the help of engineer
extraordinaire Zoe...

(EXPLOSION)
..we'll be recreating the explosive

set pieces from the greatest
action film ever made...'

BOTH: Whoa!

'..to see exactly what damage
they would've done

to big Brucey Willis...'
There's no way of surviving this?

'..and figure out how science
can help us evade

our very own Hans Gruber
in one piece.

Schnell.

Along the way, we'll be playing
some games of our own.'

Would you like to play
a game of Simon Says?

'Alex Brooker will be
travelling stateside

to hang out with some of
the actual cast of the film,

and we'll be asking
the question that's divided

the world for 30 years:
is Die Hard a Christmas movie?'

It's so Christmassy.
'So watch as me and Paul live out

our childhood dreams
by jumping off buildings,

diving from explosions, and having
generally the coolest time

we've ever had while wearing a vest.

Welcome to
the Christmas party, pals.'

(EXPLOSION)

Oh, my God. I can't believe

we have been given our very own
Nakatomi Plaza to play with.

Looks like the top
of a multistorey car park.

Aye, but hopefully it'll
smell a lot less like wee.

So what are we gonna do with it?
It's in London, so I assume

they're gonna turn these
into some overpriced flats.

Ha. No, mate, we get to live out
every action fan's dream:

to see if we can escape
Nakatomi Plaza by evading

our very own Hans Gruber
while surviving

all the death-defying
stunts from the movie.

We might die, but we'll die happy.
We'll die hard.

Hey, Chris. It's a family show.
I'm so excited, mate.

Die Hard is genuinely
my favourite Christmas movie.

Yeah, apart from
it's not a Christmas film.

I can't believe I'm about
to say this, mate, but...

let's enter the plaza.
Right.

I haven't got my...
I forgot my pass.(SIGHS)

I can't find my pass.
I need the pass.

Wow. Mate, this is amazing.

We're on the roof
of the Nakatomi Plaza.

This is so cool. I feel like
Lord Sugar. "Now, you're fired."

Now, while Hans Gruber's
trying to take us down,

what stunts from the movie
should we do?

We could do the one where he jumps
off the roof with a fire hose

tied round his waist,
shoots the glass,

then swings into the building
hundreds of feet in the air?

Absolutely. Let's do it.

And let's walk over broken glass
with no shoes on.

Or we could do the one
where he chucks

a bomb down an elevator shaft.
Sounds responsible. And I think

we need to throw in a little nod
to the sequel. So, let's do some of

the brain teasers from
Die Hard With a Vengeance as well.

Nothing more action-packed
than a brain teaser.

And there's only one way
to end what's gonna be

the greatest day of our lives.
Tesco's meal deal?

Close. But I think we should end
the day by doing a Hans Gruber.

No, no, no. Attempt a racially
dubious German accent?

(CHUCKLES) No. We're gonna get
to do the Hans Gruber fall

from Nakatomi Plaza,
hundreds of feet...

to our death.
Oh, great. That's a great idea.

That's great. Great idea.Look, if
you wanna chicken out, be my guest.

Join Brooker in the States.
He's interviewing the cast
and crew of the movie.

What? He's meeting Father Christmas?
No, Santa's not in the film?

I told you it wasn't
a Christmas movie.Ah...

Nothing says Christmas more than an
office party that gets out of hand

and ends up with people
trying to kill each other.

And that is why Die Hard is such
an enduring festive classic.

I've always loved this film,
but maybe that's cos I know

all about problematic hands
at Christmas. I mean,

you try opening the selection box
with these little Grubers.

So, Sky said to me,
come out to the coast,

we'll get together,
have a few laughs.

So, I'm here in LA to see
the location of the film,

the real Nakatomi Plaza,
there it is.

I'll also be meeting up with some
of the cast of the film,

finding out more about the stunts
Chris and Paul will be attempting,

and I'll be doing it all
in true John McClane style.

("Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"
PLAYS ON RADIO)

Excuse me, mate.
Do you mind turning the music down?

I'm trying to film in here?

Argyle!
Nice bear, son.

Yeah, he's alright, in't he?

(ENGINE REVS)

Now, if we're gonna do
all these crazy things,

I think it's probably a good idea
to find out what kind of damage

would happen in real life
and see how we can avoid it.

As far as I'm aware, all the actors

during the filming
of Die Hard survived.

OK. As confident you are,
no offence, pal,

I'd rather we had an expert.
(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIR)

Zoe?
Zoe!

Zoe!
Zoe!

Bloomin' heck! Zoe?
Zoe?

Watcha.

Welcome to the party, Zoe! Not gonna
lie, I feel like we might've blown

the entire budget on your entrance.
Love a big entrance.

Brilliant. Now,
John McClane survived Die Hard,

so I'm gonna assume that
we will be absolutely fine.

Absolutely not.

He would've died multiple times

in horrendous and horrific ways.

Lovely.
Calm it down a bit.

But let's begin with the first
death-defying stunt.

I don't trust her.
Nah, nah. Nah.Nah.

When was this filmed?
Probably before we were born.

I do like a bit of Bruce Willis.
(BOTH LAUGH)

'John McClane's ballsy fire hose
fall from the Nakatomi roof

is one of action cinema's
most iconic moments.

But would any of
our diehard Die Hard fans

take that same leap of faith?'

Not even a double knot.
Scouts would be ashamed.

JOHN: Please don't let me die.
Top of a skyscraper...

Tie it round me. Away we go.
(BUTTON CLICKS)

(EXPLOSION)

Oh, dramatic. Slo-mo.
(JOHN SCREAMS)

That is like the ultimate bungee
jump.(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

No, his coccyx would go
if that happened.

(GUNFIRE)
Oh! If in doubt, blast it out.

Oh, I don't like feet.
(GLASS SHATTERS)

I'm using a yo-yo

to take myself down.
But wouldn't it go right back up?

On the same level of
realisticness...Yeah.

I could've got the hose,

thrown it up to the helicopter.
You know, on the little railings,

pulled it down a bit till the hose
pipe was taut and climbed up

that way onto the helicopter.
Onto the...? Of the guy that's

trying to shoot you?
But I've got a gun as well,
so I would've shot with one hand

and climbed with the other hand.
I've been doing a lot of press-ups.

Do you think John McClane
would've survived

jumping off the roof of
the building with a fire hose

tied round his waist?

I don't know cos,
ironically for John McClane,

it was quite hard
to die in Die Hard.

Well, I'm gonna be going ten
metres up in the air to find out.

And we have what every great
action sequence needs:

the stunt dummy, and in this case,

welcome John McLame.
(CHUCKLES)Wow.

Yeah. He's a hunky, chunky,
ballistic bad boy, you know?

He's got everything you need
in a man. Blood, guts, ribs.

He looks jellyish and delicious,
I'll be honest with you.

Well, he's tied up with
a nitrile rubber fire hose,

just like they used in the film.
And he's gonna be pushed off,

so he falls ten metres,
and we'll see if he remains intact.

So, first off...

cue platform.
(PLATFORM WHIRS)

I thought that would stop soon.
That's high, that.

That's really high. Oh!
(PLATFORM BEEPS)

Ten metres is a lot higher
than I thought it was.

We believe in you, John!

Cue lights!

Chris and Paul, are you ready?

Yeah!
So ready!

John McLame, are you ready?

Go on, John!
Three, two, one...

release the body!

(DUMMY SQUELCHES, SPLATS)

BOTH: Oooh!
(CHRIS LAUGHS)

Wow. I mean...

As you can see,
the effects are devastating.

Oh, my gosh.

Let's not jump to
any conclusions here.

Maybe a man can survive with...

his torso over there,
his hip over there...

Because there's very little
elasticity in the hose,

that means John's subjected
to 78 kilonewtons of force.

Unfortunately,
all of that energy is transmitted

to his neck, his spine. We're
talking ruptured internal organs,

cataclysmic effect on
basically the entire system.

That whiplash alone could
have your head off.

(TIMER TICKS)

Can I have a go now?
Well, we need to figure out

how you'll survive this first.
Any suggestions?

Stick a trampoline at the bottom.

But what if you rebound off
into a wall?

Longer hose? Bouncier hose?

Springy hose?
They are all terrible ideas.

Thank you.I suggest we use
something that you might

find at the top of a tall building.
It's used by tree surgeons,

window cleaners, Fathers 4 Justice.
It's called a slow-descent harness.

And it will do a really good job
of protecting those all-important

internal organs and bones.

Shall we get some gear in?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's 11 o'clock in the morning.
You can't...She didn't mean...

This is a mainstream show.
She doesn't mean that.

It's gear time.
This is a model of the mechanism

you'd find inside
a slow-descending harness.

So, it's a series of gears

and when I turn this handle,
it's actually quite tough...

Whoa! Careful of your moustache.

If I turn this handle,
it's moving slowly,

but look how fast
that end wheel's going. Right?

So, this is designed to take
slow things and make them fast.

Oh, right.
But it can also work in reverse.

So imagine this is someone
falling... (IMITATES SCREAM)

..free falling, go through
the mechanism and you come out

nice and slow,
so it goes fast in, slow out.

It's like an all-you-can-eat buffet.
They go in fast and leave slow.

Spot on.So these cogs mean
that Chris isn't gonna plummet

to his death?
Yeah. It's all in the engineering.

Is it?At this point, I'm less
worried about the death and

more worried about the unbelievable
wedgie I've got going on.

Alright then, well,
let's get on with it.OK.

You ready?
Yeah. I mean, I'm a bit worried

that the last person who did this
was a torso who split into three.

But, you know,
I'm willing to do this for John.

Alright, crack on.
Let's release the Ramsey!

Here we go!
# WAGNER: Ride Of The Valkyries #

(COGS WHIRRING)

Elegant.Yeah.
That was alright!

I mean, let's be honest, it was
a lot less cool than John McClane.

Remember, you're gonna take
everything you're learning

in these experiments and
you're gonna put it into practice

at the end of the show when you're
running these stunts for real.

So, I hope you're paying attention.

Paul. Paul. (CLICKING FINGERS)

Paul, mate!

No, I was just wondering why
the Nakatomi Corporation was having

their Christmas party on
Christmas Eve. It's Christmas Eve.

They should be with their family.
Why are they having the party then?

No-one has their Christmas party
on Christmas Eve.

It should be on like the 20th,
not the 24th of December.

Everyone was there.
You make a good point.

Getting back to it.

(LOUD BANG)

This is the greatest piece
of Die Hard memorabilia there is.

(BUTTON BUZZES, EXPLOSION)
Whoa!

(EXPLOSION)

(EXPLOSION)

(BUTTON CLICKS, RADIO PLAYS)
(GROANS)

You OK, mate? Is your back alright?
You know how when John McClane

straps a gun to his back
for when he needs it the most?

Well, I've strapped everything I own

to my back for when
I need it the most.

I've got my phone, my TV remote,
a taser to keep the wild dogs away.

I've got a reusable water bottle,

a grape...
I'm trying to keep ripped.

Is that a good idea, mate?
It looks really uncomfortable.

(PHONE RINGS)
Uh, I got it.

That's gonna be my housemate
asking where the remote control is.

I'll get it, I'll just...
Not now, grape!

Mate, do you want me to get it
for you? Look...No, no, I got this!

Right, OK, I'll tell you what, well,
let us just have this maybe, yeah?

(RINGING CONTINUES)

(TASER CRACKLING)
(GROANING IN PAIN)

I'm now on my way to meet up
with some of the cast of the film.

There's so much I want
to know about Die Hard,

so I'm gonna chat to Hart Bochner,
who played bigmouth yuppie Ellis...

Character's such a jerk.
(LAUGHS)

..De'voreaux White,
aka Argyle the Limo Driver...

They tore that building up.

..Robert Davi who played
Special Agent Johnson...

Big Johnson.

..and Die Hard stunt coordinator,
Charlie Picerni.

Right then, Charlie,
punch me in the face.

(BOTH LAUGH)

(SLATE CLAPS)

How big a part of your life
has it been?

It's been an amazing journey

because we had no idea
that it was going to be

such an iconic air about it.

It's 35 years old.

(SCOFFS) 1988. I can't believe it.

Why do you think people love it
so much still after all this time?

You know,
I guess it's kind of considered

one of the great action movies
of all time.

John McTiernan did
a fabulous job directing it.

He infected it
with a sense of humour.

That's where the FBI becomes funny.

I mean, so it has great humour
in this action film.

This is Agent Johnson.
No, the other one.

(CHUCKLING) A lot of
the stuff was improv.

We were just bouncing off
each other. The line where I go:

Hey, come on, you divorced?
You separated?

(LAUGHING) She beat you up?

(BOTH LAUGH)

That was just off the top
of the head, man.

Did you have any idea kind of how
big it was gonna be?No. No.

I was friends with Schwarzenegger
and Arnold calls me up and he says,

"Come out here, we're gonna go
see the screening of Die Hard,
your movie there."

(LAUGHS)
We're at the first screening

and we're watching Die Hard

and it's great. I come on screen...

I'm Dwayne Robinson, LAPD.
I'm in charge here.

Not anymore.

And Arnold goes, "This is fantastic.
You look great. This is great!"

As the character becomes
dumber and dumber...

(CHUCKLES)
..he's like,

"What are you doing, you idiot?
What happened to you here?

You had such a strong opening
and now you become an idiot!"

And then I get blown up.
(LAUGHS)

(EXPLOSION, SIRENS WAIL)
(PEOPLE EXCLAIM)

Gonna need some more FBI guys,
I guess.

Did it surprise you just how much
the fans loved your character?

You know, I had no idea that
there was gonna be any reaction

until I was at the premiere.
When I died,

the audience cheered.

(LAUGHS)

(GUNSHOT)

So that was good cos...
That was quite satisfying,

that I was that obnoxious
that they were glad

to have me out of the movie.
You know?(LAUGHS)

That was good. That was fun.
That's always good. A good sign.

Do you ever get to keep any
of the memorabilia from the set?

I do have this.

I do bind my scripts
when I'm finished shooting.

So this is the original script?This
is the original shooting script.

I feel really nervous
holding such an incredible...

part of Die Hard history!
Have at it, man, have at it.

I'm not the guy you want holding...

precious materials! (LAUGHS)
Yeah, you are.

Wow. This is incredible.

I realise this doesn't make good
television, me just sat here...

me just sat here reading this!
Help yourself.

I think this is the greatest piece
of Die Hard memorabilia there is.

Shall we sell it?
(LAUGHS) It's yours!

Put it on Craigslist and see
what happens. Split the profit.

PAUL: 'One thing that wasn't
in the script for John McClane

was a bunch of incompetent cops
heading to certain death

by trying to take on a terrorist
with a rocket launcher.

CHRIS: So how do you deter
a bunch of bumbling bobbies?

With a good
old-fashioned explosion!'

That is not how you treat
an Apple Mac.

Do you think tying explosives

to a computer would
create such a big bang?

Probably depends how much
you trust the IT department.

He's throwing his bomb down,
but he wants to watch it.

Cos he wants to see
if it goes off or not.

(LOUD BANG)
(SCREAMS)

(EXPLOSIONS)

Eyebrows singed, hair gone.

(EXPLOSION)

What, you see it coming and
you still had time to get away?

That would've burnt your face off.
He's not really dressed

appropriately for it,
is he, in the vest?

Think he needs a full
fire suit on for that.

He hasn't got burnt.
No, no, no. Why would he get burnt?

It's only fire.
Only fire!It's only fire.

Right, I've got so many
questions about this scene,

but the main one,
were computers really that big?

Yeah, everything was
bigger in the 80s.

Computers, hair, the gender pay gap.

Yeah, yeah. The good old days.

Let's get down to some science.
The C4 that John was using

in the film to create that fireball
wouldn't actually have

created a fireball in real life.
What it does is generate

a concussive blast.
We're talking shockwaves.

I'm shocked of how little
of that I understood.

Don't worry, I'm gonna show it
to you at a smaller scale

with a little bit
of nitro-glycerine.

So, on this anvil, we've got
a teeny tiny drop of the stuff.

So this is a liquid explosive.

And when I hit it with a hammer,
it's gonna produce a shockwave.

It may be small,
but you need protection.

So, glasses,
ear defenders on please.

All this for that tiny drop?
Yep.

Tiny things can have
explosive results.

To be fair, I've got two-year-old,
and you should see his nappies.

Are you ready?

Stop.

Hammer time.
Ah, like Thor.

Here we go.

(LOUD BANG)

Wow!
I'm bulletproof.

The minute the hammer
strikes the anvil...(BANG)

..that nitro-glycerine
is ignited, the paper...

(BANG)
..vaporised, shoots out really fast

like a bullet from a gun.
It's generating that shockwave,

and that's that "poof, boom" sound.
I didn't expect that, from that.

But to really understand
the impact of the amount of C4

that John used in the film,
we're gonna need to go outside.

Boys, wellies on.

Aren't you gonna wear your coat?
It's freezing out here.

Mate, I'm from the north.
I don't own a coat.

Might as well take it off then.
My jumper? Let's not go that far.

That is a shed.
(BIRD SQUAWKS)

And we are 350 metres away from it

because it's rigged
with half a kilogram

of C4 explosive.

Half a kilogram?
Sorry, so for people who don't know,

how much sugar would that be?
Half a kilogram.

It's the same weight...
Half a kilogram.

It's the same...
And can you see those white boards?

That's plasterboard.
And we've erected that

in order to illustrate the damage

that any flying material will cause,
because the problem here is

it's actually not the fireball,

it's the shards of shed and debris

that are flying
at high speeds. Boom.

Like Sonic Boom.
"Sonic Boom! Tiger Uppercut."

Yep. So, who wants to press
the button?Me, me. Please, God.

Please, please me.
Please. Me, me, me.

Let Chris have a turn this time.
Just... Look, go on, Chris.

Careful, it's number one,
and not until I tell you.

Careful.

Alright. Any last words
for the shed?

(BIRD SQUAWKING)
You've been a good shed.

A loyal shed. A trustworthy shed.

And I hope you find comfort

in the Homebase in the sky.

That's actually really beautiful.

And I need to warn you:
this is going to be extremely...

Yippee ki-yay!Wait, wait! Don't!
(BUTTON BEEPS, EXPLOSION)

(LOUD BANG)
(YELPS)Whoa!

(LAUGHS)

You can feel it in your chest.
Yeah, but there's a delay.

That was mad.
That's the speed of sound for you.

Tell all of your shed mates,

that's what happens
when you mess with Chris Ramsey.

I said, wait.
I left my phone in there.

(LAUGHS)
Let's go and survey the damage.

As you can see, the concussive blast

has ripped the shed to pieces.

(LOUD BANG)

All of the fragments of material
have been transformed into,

you know, lethal projectiles.
Goodness me.

So the explosion would've turned
every single bit of office equipment

in Nakatomi Plaza into a lethal
projectile that would've

took John McClane's head off.
Spot on. And it's all travelling

at 8,000 metres per second.
(EXPLOSION)

We're talking multiple
penetration wounds all over:

limbs torn off, skin destroyed,

eyeballs ruptured,
almost certain death.

And all from half a kilo of C4.

Look at that one.Yeah,
that's straight through the head.

That's head height.
That would go through my face.

Are you trying to say there's
no way of surviving this?

No, not with C4.
What happens if you don't need

your eyes, your legs,
your arms, your body, your face,

your skull, your feet, your hands...

You'd be fine.
The only way you'd survive this

would be if you were inside a
concrete bunker, and they don't tend

to build those
at the top of skyscrapers.

But if you think about it, John was
only trying to create a distraction.

So, all he actually needed
was some propane poppers.

Lovely fireball,
but none of the deadly debris.

Right. So, later on
when we're trying to

escape Nakatomi Plaza
and evade evil Hans Gruber,

all we need is some fireballs,

some propane poppers,
and then we can do like

a badass dive, a Hollywood roll,
walking away from the fire

and not get lacerated by a stapler.
Happy days.

If you were a shed
that's been affected

by any of the issues in this show,

please call the number
at the bottom of the screen.

(LAUGHS)

I've never seen someone put
a tunnel on like a jacket.

(BEEPING) That.
I'm glad I've got my goggles on.

(LAUGHS)

Yeah, that's actually quite funny.
(LAUGHTER)

(RUMBLING)

(EXPLOSION)

(EXPLOSION)

(PHONE RINGS)
Hello?

Simon says,
do you wanna play a game?

Paul, why are you ringing me?

Hungry, Hungry Hippos or Monopoly.

Paul, we are so pressed
for time here, mate,

so obviously Hungry Hippos.

Wrong. Monopoly.

Fine.

'In Die Hard With a Vengeance,
our vest-wearing hero

comes across Hans's vengeful
brother Simon Gruber,

who tricks
the unsuspecting McClane into

a terrifying version
of the game Simon Says.'

(PHONE RINGS)
I can't lie, I've seen too many

movies like this where weird stuff
happens from a payphone, like...

I'm leaving that for someone else.
Never, ever, ever

answer the phone.
It's always a baddy.

SIMON (ON PHONE): Now, John,
there's a significant amount

of explosive in the trash
receptacle next to you.

There's a bomb in the trashcan!
(INDISTINCT SCREAMING)

If you walk past a phone box,
though, when it were ringing,

would you pick it up?
Not after watching this. (LAUGHS)

(SIMON LAUGHING)
Yeah?

I didn't say, "Simon Says".

Liam, I taught you not to talk
to strangers, you know?

Yeah, but if they look fun,
I'll go towards them.

PAUL: 'I mean, of course no-one
would answer a ringing payphone

in real life, would they?
Would they?

CHRIS: We wanted to see what
happens when you try and rope

unsuspecting members of the public
into a game of Simon Says.

So, we've set up our very own
payphone in a shopping mall

and now we're ready to call it.'

Will anybody answer?
Will they go along with it?

Will they be able to keep up?
Will Chris keep on asking

rhetorical questions?
Wow.

OK, let's do this.

(PAYPHONE RINGS)

Yeah. Got a bite. Got a bite.
OK.

Hello.
Hello?

Are you up for a game of Simon Says?

(CHUCKLES)

They put the phone down, OK.
That's a hard no from them.

(PAYPHONE RINGING)

Hello?
Are you up for a game of Simon Says,

where you could win
a money-can't-buy prize?

Yeah, go on then.
OK.

If you fail in any of the tasks, the
game will be over. Are you ready?

Er... I'm ready.

Simon Says... collect the briefcase

from the operative approaching you.

Don't look him in the eye.
(LAUGHS)

Right. Shall I take it off him?

Pretend you haven't seen him
and just take that briefcase.

Do not look at him.

This is so random.
OK.

There's a walkie talkie
attached to the phone.

Oh, yeah.
Put on the walkie talkie.

Do not lose that briefcase!
To your right,

there is a bin. Inside the bin,
there is a white vest.

Put on the white vest.
You have 30 seconds. Go!

Tick tock, tick tock.
Be cool!

(LAUGHING)

Look at the people
in the chair looking at her!

Got the vest on.

Simon Says, get the vest as dirty

and messed up as you can.

See here? Can you make this
all dirty for me, please?

Be careful, approaching members of
the public and asking them to make

you dirty could result
in a court order.

BOY: I've got a Kit Kat
if you want that?

He's got ketchup. He's got ketchup!
Where did you find that ketchup?

MAN (ON RADIO): I got the ketchup
out of the bin. Yeah, what?

(LAUGHS)

Excuse me! Excuse me!

Dirty it up. Go for it, my man.
Go for it.

Now I'm dirty, literally.
Challenge complete. Congratulations.

Thank you.
Are you ready for the next task?

Now you need to do a commando crawl.

Shall I keep the case with me?
Do not lose the case.

No. (GRUNTS)

I can only do this...

cos I'm 50...
We didn't say Simon Says.

Oh, no!

(LAUGHS)

Are you ready for
the next challenge?

Yes.
A baddy is approaching you.

Simon Says,
you need to hide to survive.

OK.
OK, OK, OK.

He's pretending to be a cleaner!

(LAUGHS) I've never seen...

I've never seen someone put
a tunnel on like a jacket.

(LAUGHS)

We don't want anything bad
happening to you.

This is so tense.
You're hiding in plain sight.

He's walking right past you.
Don't look at him.

Do not make a sound! Oh, my God.
He has sat on top of you.

Ugh!
AUTOMATED VOICE: "Doors open.

Lift going down."
Stay still!

Do not move.
Don't move. Don't breathe.

(SIGHS)

He's leaving. He's leaving.

GIRL (WHISPERING):

(LAUGHS)

(WOMAN SCREAMS)
(LAUGHTER)

I'm so sorry. The baddy found you.
The game is over.

(LAUGHING)
I can't get out the tunnel.

He did not find you.
But where's the briefcase?

MAN: It's at the telephone box.
Do I need to go get that?

You've left the briefcase
at the telephone box?

I've lost it. It's not here. OK.

Simon Says, you've failed the task.
You've lost the briefcase.

Simon Says, walk 200 paces

up the shopping mall.
When you arrive to the black drapes,

shout the name of the movie you
think we have been parodying today.

BOTH: Die Hard!
Die Hard! Come on in, son!

You will win the contents
of the inside of this case.

(LAUGHTER)

My dry cleaner has got
a suitcase full of diamonds.

What'd you give them
wrong briefcase for?

I don't know, I got them mixed up!
Do you not keep your underpants

in a briefcase?You guys
do different things up there.

I've gotta go, right...

Nakatomi Plaza has gone down
in history as one of the most

important and groundbreaking
movie locations of all time.

It's so impressive that in the first
few weeks of Die Hard's release,

the plaza was alone on the film's
poster. An office block so fit,

it was deemed sexier
than Bruce Willis.

And with that in mind,
here are a few more facts

that highlight just how iconic
this incredible building is.

During filming, the bottom floors
of Nakatomi Plaza were residential.

It was blown up and shot at so much

that the neighbours
and tenants in the building

complained constantly about
the bright lights and loud noises.

Basically, it was like
living next door a Yates.

The condition of filming here
was that there was to be

no damage from the action sequences.

So, they actually used a miniature
version of the building

for the famous roof explosion.

Despite not being able to cause
any damage to the building,

one of the five railings
on the stairs of this front entrance

was crushed and destroyed during
filming for the tank sequence.

It was never restored,
and to this day,

only four remain.
And what we take from that is,

that fifth railing,
absolutely pointless.

The first scene Bruce Willis filmed
was the famous fire hose roof jump,

which wasn't actually
off the roof of the building,

but on top of this parking lot
next door and onto an airbag below.

(EXPLOSION)

The force of the blast pushed
into the edge of the airbag

and the crew were worried for
a moment that he'd actually died.

Really? What sort of idiot would try
and do a stunt like that for real?

Alright, Chris. Good luck, pal.

'If you want to be the lead
in the Die Hard series,

not only do you need big bulging
muscles to beat up the bad guys...'

Why has Bruce Willis still got
that vest on? This is the third one.

'..you also need a big bulging brain

so you can solve their
frankly ridiculous riddles.'

SIMON (ON PHONE):
Fill one of the jugs with exactly

four gallons of water
and place it on the scale.

Me and you are dying on that spot.

I can't solve a jigsaw for a start.

Take the three-gallon jug,
fill that a third of the way up.

No, he said be precise. Exactly.

Andre, just take deep breaths.
Calm down, Andre!

Just calm down.
Oh, you're not giving birth.

This time's going down, come on,
we've only got five... (WAILS)

I got it. I got it! Exactly two
gallons in here, right?Yeah.

A full five gallons here, right?
Right.You pour one gallon out of

five gallons into there, we have
exactly four gallons in here!

Everybody blows up. Movie over,
if I'm honest with you.

It should be called, "Dead".
Yeah. Dead..."Hard."

Yeah. "Dead..." No.
No?No.

Both feeling relaxed?
Yeah.Yeah. Pretty chilled.

Boo!
Oh, my... What's wrong with you?

What you doing?Stressing you out.
Well, it's working. That worked.

That was horrible. I haven't seen
that side of you. Didn't like it.

(WHEEZES)You alright?
I want to look at

how the brain works under pressure

and how difficult it is
to remain calm and composed enough

to solve maths problems and
riddles in an extreme environment.

It'll be really handy for me to know
how to deal with extreme stress

when a maths-obsessed
maniac calls me.

Rachel Riley calling in the middle
of the night again?Twice this week.

To test this out, I'm gonna hook
you both up to a heart monitor

and an EEG, which will give us
information on your heart rate

and brain activity.
I've got loads of that going on.

Then each of you will attempt
a Die Hard-inspired puzzle.

But crucially, one of you
will do it with no distractions,

whereas the other will have a world
of chaos rain down upon them.

Sounds like my house at bedtime.
And how are you both with puzzles?

I'm one of the best in the world
at being bad at puzzles.

OK. Chris?
Love them. Love a puzzle.

Bring on more puzzles.
Just call me Mr Puzzle. Dave Puzzle.

Steve Puzzle...Alright. Alright.
You need the challenge, right?

Brilliant.World of chaos.
That's gonna be you, Chris.

No distractions. We're gonna
give you the easier ride, Paul.

Thanks. I appreciate that.
OK, here's the puzzle.

Right, we've got
an eight-litre container,

a five-litre container,
and a three-litre container.

Eight litres of water.
I want you to split it

between two containers,
so you've got four in one container,

four in the other container
and it's against the clock.

Three, two, one, go!
(STOPWATCH CLICKS)

Gee whizz! (LAUGHS)
(BUZZING, BLEEPING)

Oh, there's an alarm
going off in my head!

A few sounds.
A few little annoying sounds.

Ah! I've just done my hair.

We will leave. This is horrible.

What the heck is that on my neck?

(SCREAMS, LAUGHS) That's offensive.

(PEACEFUL MUSIC PLAYS)
So I've got a three and a four.

Right.

Come on.Right.
I've forgot how many's in there now!

(ALARMS CONTINUE) There's...
I poured... So there was...

(LAUGHS MADLY) You little!

Now what?Well,
I've got two left of the three...

so if I take one away from five,
it'll give me the four.

Two... (SCREAMS)
(NERF GUNFIRE)

That... Glad I've got my goggles on.

So that's a four and a...
And a three.

Time's ticking away,
time's ticking away! Come on, Chris!

Get that away!
Just a little bit of stilton.

I've got the three
and I've got the four

and I've got the one.

I've just...
(HAIRDRYER WHIRS)

(ALARMS BLARE)

So that's a four and a four.
Stop the clock.

(STOPWATCH CLICKS)
Stop. That's impressive.

That is impressive because it's
not easy even without distractions.

Well done, Paul.
I'm gonna go and wash

the smell of that sock
out of my soul.

(LAUGHS)

So what did we learn there?
Never do sudoku at Laser Quest.

Yeah, well, the results are in.

Chris, you undertook the test
in very stressful conditions.

I am sorry for embarrassing you.
It was horrible.

That probably took years
off my life.

And everyone else's around you.
(LAUGHING)

When I started this show,
I was 22 years old.

I'm a 57-year-old man now.

Well, this stress is reflected
in your results.

Your heart rate reached

134 beats per minute.
Phwoar!

Compare it with Paul's reading.
Look at this.

Oh, my God. You were dead.

It's a very steady
76 beats per minute.

Well, it's half the rate of Chris's.
Look at that. I mean,

I actually would've thought this
was somebody asleep if I'm honest.

(LAUGHS)
Now let's look at your EEG.

This is the brain output data.
Chris, yours is quite erratic.

You were much more distracted,
and that's reflected in the results.

That was when I introduced
the hairdryer.

Yeah. That one there.
That's definitely smelly sock.

That is smelly sock!
You didn't respond well to ice.

And surprisingly, you didn't
respond well to the Nerf gun either.

If we look at Paul's data,
this is again,

calm and steady as you go.
Thank you.

Well, with all this in mind,
I'm sure you're dying to know

who did it fastest.
Yeah.

Chris, you took...

four minutes and 15 seconds.

Wow, cos it felt like four years,
so I'm happy with that.

For a man who claims
to love puzzles, you actually,

I think, would've done better
without the distractions.100%.

So I couldn't comprehend
what you told me to do

because all the distractions
just started immediately.

I was impressed.Very impressive.
Yeah, I was.Thank you.

And Paul, despite being somebody
who's not a natural puzzler...

Thank you.
..you remained very calm.

You did it in four minutes...

and 12 seconds.

I beat you.
Yes.

I appreciate that.
I would call that proof that

the extreme pressure is
incredibly detrimental.

John and Zeus would probably have
blown thousands of people up

if they had to perform
under those conditions.Wow.

So, ideally they need to find a way
to calm themselves down instantly.

Any ideas how you might do that?
(INHALES)

A bit of Enya?
Er... a lovely massage?

We need something that plays
to your strengths, I think.

What are you guys good at?
Badminton.

He is good at badminton.
Laughter.

That's what you want.
Data shows that a good laugh

has a great short-term effect
on stress and anxiety.

I've never actually
laughed in my life.

This is sort of good news
because fake laughter

has just as good a health benefit.

Let's give it a try, Paul.
This is good because he's got

the creepiest fake laugh on
the planet.That's a real laugh.

"Duh duh duh duh...
And that was just the teacher!"

(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)
Yeah, that's actually quite funny.

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)
I've never seen him laugh like that.

(LAUGHING CREEPILY)
Euugh!

(LAUGHING) Ow, I just hit my leg...

(ALL LAUGHING)
Funny.

(LAUGHTER FIZZLES OUT)

Ah, good times.
Just good times, innit?

How you feeling now? Nice and
relaxed?Alright, actually. Yeah.

A bit better.
It sort of did help, yeah.

Well, at the end of the show,
you may have to laugh your way

through a mind-boggling puzzle

to try and stay calm enough
to solve it.

Don't forget to laugh at yourselves.
It's your secret weapon.

Oooh!

Die Hard is not a Christmas movie!
(SPITS)

Everyone loves watching Die Hard
at Christmas.

(LAUGHING CREEPILY)

(EXPLOSION)

(EXPLOSION)

You know, Paul, I don't think
we can talk about Die Hard

without addressing the main
question that the movie throws up.

Like why all the baddies have
got such nice hairstyles?

Yeah, well, that, we do have to look
into that at some point, yeah.

But no, the question:
is Die Hard a Christmas movie?

Very easy question to answer: no.
I can't believe you're saying that.

Mate, it's as Christmassy
as it gets!Oh, yeah.

Yeah, nothing I love more
at Christmas than watching

a Japanese businessman have
his brain splattered onto a window.

That's very festive.
(SIGHS) Mate.

You say this every year
and every year it ruins Crimbo.

I tell you what ruins Christmas
is you calling it Crimbo!(SIGHS)

What's Crimbo?
It's Christmas. Not Crimbo.

I bet you use the word hollibobs
as well?Yeah, Crimbo hollibobs!

No, no! Not hollibobs, holidays!
(BOTH CONTINUE BICKERING)

'Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?'

# It was December 24th
on Hollis Ave in the dark... #

That music makes it like Christmas.

Definitely a Christmas movie.

It's not Home Alone, though.

'It's a debate that rages
every year and one of the great

unanswered questions of our age,
right up there with

are Jaffa Cakes a cake
or a biscuit?'

It's Christmas, Theo. It's the time
of miracles, so be of good cheer.

Hans Gruber, he's actually like
the Christmas Scrooge or Grinch.

I don't remember The Grinch

picking up a gun and shooting
Cindy Lou in the head.

There is Christmas hats,
Christmas jumpers.

Dead guy.Christmas... yeah.
"Ho ho ho" written in blood.

Now I have a machine gun.

(VIEWER IMITATING)
Ho... ho... ho.

Die Hard is fundamentally not...
a Christmas movie.

How is it not a Christmas movie?
Yippee ki-yay.

Ho ho ho!
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

PAUL: 'I'm more confused than
the first time I heard your accent.

CHRIS: Looks like I'm gonna have
to make the argument myself then.'

Christmas. I love it.
And my favourite thing about it?

Watching festive films.

And for me,
the quintessential yuletide movie...

is Die Hard.
(REMOTE CLICKS)

(SIRENS WAIL, HELICOPTER WHIRS)

Forget lighting the pudding,
it's not Christmas for me

until Nakatomi Plaza's
gone up in flames...

We interrupt this programme
to bring you some breaking news.

Die Hard is not a Christmas movie.

(SPITS) Not...
Not a Christmas movie?!

Mate, you'd have to be
a psychopath to watch that

at any other time of the year.
Die Hard was actually

released in July,

1988. July!

Yeah, Miracle on 34th Street was
a summer release, but you wouldn't

ever catch anyone saying
that isn't a Christmas movie!

There is nothing Christmassy
about fighting,

violence or weapons.

Spoken like a man who's never
spent Christmas with my family.

(TV ZAPS OFF)

Die Hard is definitely
a Christmas movie.

I mean, the word 'Christmas'
gets said 18 times in the film.

I've counted.
We can all count, mate.

The word 'gun' appears
73 times in Die Hard.

It's an action movie!

Pew pew. That's me
shooting down your argument.

Whoa, whoa. Back up a bit.
No, don't. Stop.

Welcome to the party, Paul!

(GROANING)
(GRUNTS)

I hope you get coal for Christmas!

'Twas the night before Christmas,
and all through the house,

not a creature
was stirring except...

(WHISPERING) Chris. Chris. Chris.

Where are you now?
(LIGHTER CLICKS)

I'm in your vent,
and I got you beat.

The main man himself, Bruce Willis,

said Die Hard is not
a Christmas movie.

Well, the main Die Hard writer

and director have both come out
and said that Die Hard

is a Christmas movie. So, sorry,
Bruce, you've been outvoted.

And Paul, I can't believe
I'm having to say this again,

but stop hiding in my walls.
It's weird, man.

We can't keep spending
Christmas like this!

("JINGLE BELLS" DOORBELL RINGS)
Saved by the bell.

Saved from the bell.

(CAROLLERS SINGING "ODE TO JOY")

Ode to Joy.
What a lovely Christmas song.

As heard on the Die Hard soundtrack
along with Let It Snow,

Winter Wonderland
and Christmas in Hollis.

Look, Ode to Joy
is not a Christmas song.

Christmas is Deck the Halls while
Die Hard is Deck the Baddies, innit?

Right. Fine. You name me one film

set at Christmas
that isn't a Christmas film.

Hook me up, cuz.
(PLAYS NOTE ON KAZOO)

(SINGING TO TUNE OF "JINGLE BELLS")

Aha! Ha! You already said that one!

ALL CAROLLERS:

I'll show him a Die Hard Christmas.

Fon, you know what to do.

(CHORAL MUSIC)

Yippee ki-yay, Chris.

(EXPLOSION)

One thing there's no debate about
is that broken glass

and bare feet do not mix.

Something Hans Gruber knew only
too well when he gave Brucey W

a gauntlet of glass
to run over in the movie's

most shockingly
soul-destroying moment.

Shoot the glass.

A very bad man.Why?
They know he has no shoes on.

(GUNFIRE)
(GASPS)

(GUNFIRE, GLASS SHATTERS)

Oh, he's gonna cut his feet to bits!

Imagine pulling that out, eee!
Ay-yay-yay! No!

(JOHN GROANS)

Surely there's gotta be
something in that whole office

that he could've used to not
mash up his feet like that.

Someone's gonna have a pencil case.
Couple of pencil cases.

He might find a pair of flip flops
under Sandra's desk.

That's a really good point.
That gun he had in his hand.

I'd put that down and slide
across the floor with it.

But then you see,
I would have the gun still

shooting the baddies.
What you gonna have?

Paperclips? (GRUNTS)
(LAUGHS)

It's time to talk feet.
I'm not into that kind of thing.

As you remember, McClane spent
most of the film barefoot.

Yeah. I mean,
I've stepped on Lego in the past

and the pain is excruciating.
So how did John McClane manage

to just patch himself up
with a bit of bog roll and then

carry on jumping around a skyscraper
like nothing had happened?

Well, I've made you
a little something. Bear with me.

Da-dah!

I've knocked up a copy
of John McClane's feet,

made out of my old friend,
ballistics gel. Feel that.

Ugh...
It's also rigged

with veins inside

that will be pumped
full of pressurised blood.

So, you're gonna pop these on, Paul,
and then you're gonna trot across

the expanse of deadly broken glass.

Nah, nah. There's...
Yeah.

They're not my size and
they're definitely not my colour.

(GIGGLES)

Are these John McClane's
feet or Bigfoot?

Alright, Paul, you ready?
No.

It's like walking
out of an All Bar One.

Off you pop.
Ready?

Yeah.
I'm gonna walk across this now.

Yeah.
No protection whatsoever.

No.

(GLASS CRUNCHING)
Oh, my god...

Oh!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Agh!

And back!
I can feel it in my feet.

Hans Gruber's after you.
He ain't messing with me.

He knows I can take the pain.
Now he's getting really into it.

When I get home tonight, my wife's
gonna ask what I was up to,

and I'm gonna have
to try and explain this.

Paul! We're calling it!

Let's survey the damage.
What damage?

(LAUGHS)

Well, as you can see,

it's a bloody mess.
You can't use that kind of language.

It's lost over two pints here.
Oh, I see what you mean.

So look at this glass.
Some serious shards.

I accidentally stepped on that.
Did you step on that? By accident?

Yeah. I stepped on it.
Ooh, look at that.

And the thing is,
if you don't get all the glass out,

infection could set in and then
we're talking, "bye-bye, feet."

Multiple vascular
and soft tissue injuries.

Veins and arteries sliced.

Significant blood loss.

Necessity to tourniquet
the leg to reduce blood loss.

High risk of infection.
Surgery necessary

to remove large pieces
of glass and dead tissue.

Intravenous antibiotics vital.

Possible survival.

Could it not have been
the adrenaline getting him through?

Well, you are actually onto
something because adrenaline

does serve that purpose, to keep
you pushing through the pain.

So, it would help.
But the reality is

there is no way he'd be able
to skip around the building

chasing the bad guys
with feet like this.

So how do you think someone
would survive this?

That's an easy question to answer.
Shoes.

Well, he could actually
have made some shoes

with potentially things he found
lying around in the office.

So let's have a look
what there might have been.

Whey! Pressies!
I love a glittery cloth.

Da-nah!Woah!
Look at all these

80s office goodies!

What do you think we could
transform from this lot into shoes?

Ooh... ah! I've got it.

Keyboard on your foot, wire round
to tie it like a Roman sandal.

It's definitely thick enough,

but it's also brittle,
so it might snap.

I would use... flip floppies.

You've got flexibility. Good.
But not thick enough.

Rolodex. Go through the Rolodex.
Phone a shoe shop.

Get 'em to make you some shoes.
Get 'em delivered...

Nah, the phones were cut.
We don't know.

I would use... this.

What, to write your will?

One sheet on its own
is not particularly strong.

In fact, Chris, will you help me
with this little demo? Stab it.

Be careful.Penetrate the paper.
I thought you'd never ask.

Ah! Felt good.
Weak.

Oh, I was gonna say, a bit harsh.
I thought I did really well.

He's very sensitive.
Let's try ten sheets, OK?

Just... only ten?Only ten.
Come on, man.Ready?

Mm-hm. Come on!
Go on.

Come on, give it...
Hold it tight.Yeah, yeah.

Don't embarrass me.
Don't embarrass me here.

Are you serious?
Yeah, come on.

Yippee ki-yay...
Well...

Not even with a yippee ki-yay.
Embarrassing.

This is just ten sheets.
Imagine how protective

500 sheets would be.
You don't have to imagine.

I've been wearing them all day.
(LAUGHS)

In fact, I've walked across
glass with them, no problem.

Nice shoes. Very nice.
You walked over the glass in these?

Yeah.Wow.
Look at them. There's no way

glass is gonna get
through to your feet.

But on the downside, paper cuts.
Yeah, well,

let us just hope that
the office has plenty of paper

lying around when you have to do
this stunt for real later on.

Yeah. Or I might end up saying

the second part of
that "yippee ki-yay" catchphrase.

Release the body!
(BUTTON CLICKS)

Oh, my word!
Would you be able to show me

how to take a punch?
Bam!Agh...

(SCREAMS)

(EXPLOSION)

(EXPLOSION)

Alright, mate?
Where have you been?

Guess who just passed their
limo driver qualifications.

Who?
This guy.

But... wow.
Yeah.

Absolutely nailed the test.
Did everything by the book.

I bought a massively cumbersome
and inappropriate teddy bear,

I got hammered on whiskey
despite being the designated driver,

and I agreed to wait
in a car park phoning women

for an unspecified
amount of company time.

Wow.
Yeah. Textbook stuff, mate.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm off to push me next customer

way too hard in the relationship,
despite the fact they've repeatedly

told me to back off. See you later.

'Die Hard has gone down in cinematic
history as one of the most

influential action movies
of all time.

And that's thanks in no small part
to its jaw-dropping array

of incredible stunts.

So, I'm back with the cast
and stunt coordinator

Charlie Picerni to get an insight

into how these audacious feats
of daring were achieved.'

You've got massive stars
in the film. You've got Bruce,

you've got Alan Rickman.
Who was great,

excuse me, by the way.
He was incredible.He was fantastic.

The thing that we all
remember is the fall.

When we did that,
I brought him on the stage by myself

and I got a little cherry picker,
which is a little crane,

took it up with an airbag
down below.

And I told Alan, we'll go on
"three, two, one, go."

And I told my riggers,
let him go on "one,"

not on "go."

So Alan was all prepared
to go on "go."

And I said "three, two, one..."
and he went back

and he had that reaction
on his face.

It was genuine fear? (LAUGHS)
Oh, yeah.

Charlie Picerni did a great
job with the stunts.

Your character's the reason
why John McClane,

Bruce's character has to do the,
you know, the famous fire hose

kind of jump off of the roof.

(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIR)

(EXPLOSION)
So technically it's your fault

we got to see one of the best
action sequences ever.

Yes, it was. It was my fault.
(LAUGHS)

I orchestrated it that way.

I knew at that point the film
needed something special.

(EXPLOSIONS)
(JOHN SCREAMING)

The jump off the building,
you know, that was spectacular.

When we scouted locations, actually,
we got up on top of the roof.

The whole crew was there. John was
explaining what was gonna happen.

He said, "OK, here's where
Bruce gets the fire hose,

puts it around him
and then we'll cut to the stage

and the green screen when he jumps
off." And I got all excited.

I said, "John, we can shoot it right
here," and that's what we did.

We had an airbag and he jumped off
maybe 15 feet into the airbag.

But Bruce was a little
sceptical about that one.

John McTiernan did it
to show Bruce it was safe.

Oh, so he did it first!
He jumped off into the bag.

So Bruce finally said,
"OK, I'll do it."

With the elevator sequence,
when he jumps from

one opening to another...
well, that was a mishap.

Keii Johnston was the stunt double.

When he jumped,
he actually missed it and fell.

But I had an airbag down below,
so it was safe.

But they actually used
that shot where he fell

and then we cut to the shot
with him grabbing the pipe.

(BUCKLE SNAPS)
(WALLS RATTLE, ECHO)

The action sequences are iconic.

Do you have a particular favourite?

When I'm in the limo

and I crash into the ambulance.

And I get out and I go like that...
Yeah. (LAUGHS)

..and Charlie was like,
"I need you to take your arm

and follow through."

And so I got into character,
I don't like these guys.

I got up and ran and went, "pow!"

And I really hit him.
Wow.

(AMBULANCE DRIVER GRUNTS)

So when you see me going like that,
that's real!(LAUGHS)

There's some great punches in it.
Would you be able to show me

how to take a punch like that?
I can show you.

OK. Right then, Charlie,
punch me in the face.

(BOTH LAUGH)

And a lot of actors said that
and they got hit in the face!

When I come here, I snap it
like I'm hitting you.Yep.

So you make sure
you throw that head.

You ready?Yeah, cool.
Remember the snap.Yep.

OK, and bam!
(GRUNTS)

Not bad for a beginner.

That was very good.
Thank you.

No money though. You don't get
no adjustment for that.

Thank you, Charlie.
It's an absolute pleasure.

Thank you so much.
You're welcome.

For showing me how
to take a punch in the face.

There you go.
(LAUGHS)

CHRIS: 'As Alex gets over
his phony fistfight,

let's check in with a man whose
30-storey plummet was the most

iconic big screen death until...
well, Severus Snape.'

(MEN CHUCKLE)
JOHN: Holly!

(HOLLY GRUNTS)
(GUNSHOT, GLASS SHATTERS)

(SCREAMS)

Soon as he holds onto my girl and
he's holding, I will just shoot him.

(HOLLY WHIMPERS)

How many storeys do you think he is?
30, 40?

He's dead as a dodo at the bottom
of there, to be honest.

Ooh!

BOTH: Oooh!

One of the best deaths
for a villain in any film.

Oooh, that bang!

Nothing brings couples together
like killing a bad guy

on Christmas Eve.
(CHUCKLES)

That's how we met.

Now as we have established,

Die Hard is a Christmas movie.
No, we haven't established that.

And it isn't,
so why you do you keep on...

(STUTTERS) We have. So for me,

there's nothing more
Christmassy and festive

than watching the evil
villain Hans Gruber

plummet to his death.
You know the bit I'm talking about,

you know, he's falling, he's like...
(MIMICS SLOW MOTION) "Noo!"

Chris.

Chris. Chris.

Chris!Sorry.
What's up?

Well, considering Hans Gruber
fell from over a hundred metres

and we hear him hit the ground.
Big time.

So what do you think?
Well, probably broke his ankle.

Yeah. Probably s... sprained?
Sprained ankle?

Bad wrist.
Yeah. Put a claim in?

"Have you been hurt at work today?"
Yeah! (LAUGHTER)

I think we can both agree,
jokes aside, big splat.

OK, well this is science.
So we like to test things.

In order to do that,
I've hired a very big crane.

Oh, my gosh.

(BIRD SQUAWKS)

Any volunteers to go up?
Yeah, Chris is... he does...

No! I've got this thing.
I'm actually allergic to cranes.

But you just did the "Oooh..."
Yeah. I can do it on the floor.

(STUTTERS) I go anywhere near
a crane, I come out in hives.

I did figure you might chicken out.
May I introduce...Yes.

..my dear friend, Hansless Gruber.
Ah!

Who will be performing the stunt
on your behalf just this once.

Good.
(CRANE WHIRS)

Oh, my word!

Alright, mate!

He is in fact a body bag...
Eurgh!

..filled with blood.
We're all body bags.

That's very deep, Paul.
If you think it's gonna be

a relaxing fall, it isn't.

And that's exactly why we need
to wear some protection.

I've got some natty hazmat suits
and by the magic of TV...

(SNAPS FINGERS)
What's happening?

Um... oh, I know what you're doing.

Wait a second.
(MAGIC TWINKLE)

Oh! Nice work, man.
No problem.

Paul, would you like to do
the honours this time?

(GASPS) I'm so excited I could cry.
OK, you ready?

Release the body!
(BUTTON CLICKS)

Oh, my word!

(SPLAT)
(ALL EXCLAIM)

(BLOOD SPATTERS)
Oh!

Oh, my word.

That... was horrible.

Think he's alright?

Hans?
(BLOOD SQUELCHING)

This definitely shows that falling

from a hundred metres
is not a good idea.

You're gonna start reaching
the velocity of about 99mph...

..and at impact,

you're gonna break
every bone in your body.

Organs are gonna explode
and blood is gonna come out

any hole it can.
(BLOOD SPLATS)

Oh, God.
Any hole?

All holes.It just screams
Christmas, doesn't it?

In Die Hard,
this stunt was performed

not once but twice. So first of all,

the stunt man jumped off
the Nakatomi Plaza

wearing a slow-fall harness
like the one I showed you earlier.

Yes, yes.
But actually perhaps even cooler was

how Alan Rickman did it,
cos he did it for real,

no harness, from 40 foot.

Come with me, I'll show you
how it's done.Let's go.

The best way of surviving a fall
is if something catches you.

Yeah. Three words: really big glove.

Nearly. Really big pillow.

(BOTH LAUGH)
She said pillow.

Did you just say 'pillow'?
Sounds pretty chill.

(MAN SCREAMING)
(GASPS)

Ah. The sound of chill.

The key is the pillow absorbs
the energy from the fall,

cradles the person
as they decelerate,

and it enables them to land safely.

But it's still fraught with danger.
You could snap your neck,

break your spine,
sustain a long-lasting injury

if you fall incorrectly.

Sounds like Strictly.
You are gonna be taught

how to fall properly by our
expert stunt performer Stefan.

Say hi, Stefan.
Hi!

(YELPS) Oh! Sorry.
Genuinely thought he was dead.

So, we're trusting our lives...

on a pillow?Yep.
Good luck with everything, guys.

Remember everything I've taught you.
I'm off now.

Where's my helicopter?
BOTH: What?

(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIR, DOOR OPENS)
Wow. Unbelievable.

So the mission is, we are going
to escape Nakatomi Plaza

and evade Hans Gruber.
Hello, cowboy.

Time to play a game.
I don't want to let you go, mate!

(SCREAMS)

(EXPLOSION)

(EXPLOSION)

(SIRENS WAIL DISTANTLY)

Paul, this is it. I'm so excited.

We get to live out our fantasy.

What? We've got tickets
to see Taylor Swift?

Wow. Didn't have you down as
a Swifty. No, I'm talking about

doing one of the biggest
action sequences

from one of the greatest
movies of all time.Yep.

And we had an entire
afternoon's training.

I'm sure there's no way
one of us is gonna suffer

horrific injuries and die.

Mate, you need to be
more optimistic, man.

I was being optimistic.
I said one of us.

Wonder if Brooker's
in as much danger as we are.

What an incredible trip
this has been.

Visiting this iconic building
and meeting the cast

has reminded me
that Die Hard really is

the quintessential Christmas film.

Look, let's be honest,
who hasn't spent Christmas

with their family and felt
like they're being held hostage?

The only thing that could put me
in the Christmas spirit even more

is to watch two comedians risk death

or permanent injury
all in the name of entertainment.

All that's left for us to say
is good luck, fellas,

and welcome to the club.

There's only one thing left to do.

If we're gonna be John McClane,

we need to look like John McClane.

Costume change!

(UPBEAT, DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(LOUD BANG)

(EXPLOSION, SCREAMING)

(DUMMY SPLATS)
BOTH: Oh!

(BLOOD SPATTERS)
(ALL EXCLAIM)

(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIR)

Mate. You look incredible.
No, no. You look incredible.

I didn't realise you were so buff,
mate. Them grapes are working.

Anyway, listen,
we need to decide who's doing what.

So the mission is we are going
to escape Nakatomi Plaza,

alert the police
and evade Hans Gruber,

who's trying to take us down
with guns, grenades,

and witty one-liners.
So I'm gonna head downstairs

and try and get the attention
of the cops by blowing up

the elevator shaft.
I am gonna escape Hans by jumping

off the building
on a slow-release harness,

shoot the glass, swing through it.
Happy days.

I need to be prepared for any mind
games Hans might throw my way.

That family loves a riddle.
I'll meet you

by crossing the broken glass
with some makeshift A4 shoes.

And if Hans tries to chuck us
out of the building at any point,

we just need to...
BOTH: Remember our stunt training.

We are unstoppable.

Nice vest.

You know where that vest
would look even nicer?

On your... bedroom floor?

Yep. But... no!

Splattered all over the wall.
(LAUGHS MENACINGLY)

That makes much more sense.
Let's go!

Good luck, man.

In Deutschland, we call this...

'the bomb.'
Yeah. In the UK too.

Oh! Sorry. Silly Hans.

Up top!
(PIN CLICKS)

In Newcastle, we call this...
'ganning doon'.

Auf Wiedersehen, pet.

I love that show!

(FLAMES ROAR)

(EXPLOSION)

(CACKLES)

Ah, God.

# DEBUSSY: Clair De Lune #

(HARNESS WHOOSHES)

(GUNFIRE, GLASS SHATTERS)

Take that 1980s computer
with minimal storage space.

You're too big and you're too slow.
(THUD)

(COMPUTER WHOOSHES)
(FLAMES ROAR)

(EXPLOSION)

(CHORAL MUSIC)

(PANTING)

Man, I look good in slo-mo.

(SIGHS)

I was hoping for a Yellow Pages.
This is like a takeaway menu.

Time to get my creps on.
(TAPE RASPS)

(EXHALES)

# PAVAROTTI: Nessun Dorma #
(GLASS CRUNCHING)

Oh, my God, they work!

It's working! They work!

I'm gonna take these
on Dragon's Den!

(RADIO BUZZES)

(CACKLES) Hello, cowboy.

Time to play a game.
You are completely trapped.

If you wish to escape, you must
solve the riddle in front of you.

You have one minute to complete this

or you will be completely
decimated by my paintball guns.

What paintball guns?

Oh...
Good luck, Samaritan.

Over und aus.

Shut up, Hans.
Go and play your gui-tar.

Remember what Zoe said.

Laugh like you're watching
your own stand-up comedy.

(EXAGGERATED LAUGHTER, SLAPS BOARD)

# GRIEG: In The Hall
Of The Mountain King #

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

"The air vent behind this
is your only escape."

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)

(PAINTBALL GUNFIRE, BULLETS SPLAT)

I feel like I've been shafted.

(VENT COVER CLATTERS)

The police are on their way.
Let's go.

Unlucky, losers.

Big Daddy Hans is here.

(GUNFIRE)
Big Daddy Hans?

(SIGHS)

(SIRENS WAIL DISTANTLY)
(BOTH GRUNTING)

I don't wanna let you go, mate.
I don't wanna let you go.

It's OK, Paul. You can let go.

I've had my training.
I'll never let you go, Chris.

Honestly, mate. The stunt man said
I'm really good at this.

Chris, if anything goes wrong,

I just want you to know...

Die Hard was a Christmas movie
after all.

Yeah!

Chris!

Chris! Ah-ha-ha!

Ah! No!

Mate. That was amazing!
You've gotta give it a go!

I think I'll take the stairs, mate.

What a day that was.Yeah, I know.
I mean, how am I gonna get all this

ketchup out my t-shirt? This
ain't gonna come out in the wash.

It's a mess, man, yeah.
Hey, suckers!

Where are you going?!

Hans wanted to go in the big comfy
pillow. It's kind of my thing.

Sorry, Hans.
No stunts for naughty boys.

Look, can I at least join you
for Christmas?

He's a bit much, ain't he?
Yeah. Who is that guy?

Don't make me spend it
with Jeremy Irons, my brother.

He's so boring!

Paul, you really died hard tonight.
Thanks, Chris.

You died harder.
I know.

Do you guys wanna hang out
and go for some mulled wine?

I've got no way of getting home,
you killed my driver.

Come on, don't make Hans Uber.

(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)

# BEETHOVEN: Ode To Joy #

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