Original subtitles

I'm an ordinary sort of person.

It may be hard to believe, but I've never longed for the spotlight.

Christine!

Do you have any comments?

- Just a word or two! - Christine!

But somehow the spotlight found me.

How can you know when your story begins?

Like any girl my age, I'd always dreamt of meeting Prince Charming.

Then I met John Profumo.

John was never Prince Charming.

I knew that from the very beginning.

Oh, shit!

You're 19 years old.

Innocent, guilty.

Shit!

How can one girl have the power to bring a whole world tumbling down?

Oh, Christine.

Christine!

Did you take my fags?

Johnny?

Excuse me.

- Hmm. - Oh!

Sorry, we're closed.

I'm supposed to be at this toothpaste thing.

Johnny! We need the money.

Oh, Christ! I swear, if you ladder my stockings, I'll kill you.

For fresher cleaner teeth

and minty bright all-day freshness.

What?

"Minty bright freshness."

Minty bright all-day freshness

Bloody hell, I've not even brushed my teeth, you know.

Oh, I am gonna be so late.

You're always late, woman.

Hmm... Your fault.

Shit.

Men are such fools.

But I like them.

And they seem to like me.

If a man finds a girl attractive,

is she the one to blame?

- No butter, Mandy. - I know, I know.

It's Velvet.

Forget Velvet, I'm not calling you bloody Velvet.

Where'd that bread come from?

The shop.

Sixteen, eighteen...

Twenty four slices in a loaf. There should be twenty two left.

Maybe they're cutting down. Making it smaller, but charging the same.

Anyway, I had toast for breakfast.

- This is yesterday's, isn't it? - No, I had toast, two slices.

Piss off, Mandy! You can lie to me all you like, but I'm not eating this-

I had toast!

Fine. You can starve for all I care.

The world's about to end anyway.

Miserable old git.

I've had it up to here with him, Chris.

I mean, today, of all days...

Why? What's today?

- It's my eighteenth! - Oh, course it is.

Happy birthday, doll.

And look what he gives me!

- Oh! It must be five hundred? - A thousand.

Would it have killed him to splash out sixpence extra on a bit of wrapping paper?

Peter's Peter. He gave you the Jag last year.

Maybe he's run out of ideas.

He's run out of something.

- Sweetheart? - Full English, please.

- Mand? - Erm, coffee, please.

Eighteen's not that old.

I just want to have a bit of fun, you know?

You could have a lot of fun for a thousand quid.

I was thinking of having my nose done. You know, Harley Street job.

The photographers say it kinks out on this side.

- Looks fine to me. - Really?

There you go, love.

Thanks, doll. I'm skitters.

Keep the change!

Thank you.

Did you go to your audition dressed like that?

With a ladder in your stocking

It was for toothpaste, they weren't looking at my legs.

They always look at your legs.

Christine Margaret Keeler. You didn't go, did you?

Well... why not?

That was a really good opportunity, Chris.

Good day to you, ladies.

Oh, bloody hell.

Can't really stop, Lucky, were in a bit of a rush.

- Going to see somebody, is it? - It's none of your business.

You think I can't follow you everywhere you go?

Leave her alone!

You're shacked up with Edgecombe now, you little whore!

Yeah, maybe I am!

- Oh! - You bastard!

See what you make me do!

Bloody hell, Chris, are you okay?

I'm fine.

- I'm gonna call the police, this can't keep happening. - No, no.

Let's go to Stephen's. Come on.

Dr. Stephen Ward. He was always there to save me.

And there never seemed a price to pay.

Or so I thought.

Open your mouth, little baby.

Little wider.

Mm... You'll live.

The swelling might come up in a few hours.

I think I have some arnica somewhere.

I told her to go to the police!

It's fine. Lucky'll get over it.

He must have just heard about me and Johnny.

Chrissie, darling, on this at least Lucky and I see eye to eye.

The last thing you need in your complicated little life

is another low-life Jamaican boyfriend.

He's not Jamaican! He's from Antigua.

Johnny can't stick Jamaicans. And he's nothing like Lucky.

You're just prejudiced.

Oh, no, you know it's not that.

I just... I worry about you, that's all.

Nice arse!

Thank you.

Anyone we know?

Strictly professional, little baby.

A man has his needs.

I'll pop to the launderette later.

It's just till I sort myself out.

You can stay here as long as you like, darling.

That is if we're spared.

- Spared? - Khrushchev's missiles.

Cuba, little baby.

- The Russians? - Oh. Bloody Russians.

- Is ten alright, Mand? - Help yourself.

But you need to start taking your modelling seriously, Christine.

Tell her, Stephen.

Talking of Russians.

Bloody hell, Eugene, why don't you just leave your toothbrush here?

Uhm.

MI5 may have been watching Captain Ivanov,

but to me he was just another one of Stephen's friends.

I had no idea what an extraordinary life I was leading.

But then, Mr. Profumo was the extraordinary one.

Not me.

Jolly good.

Salute.

- The lunch is always very good. - It had better be.

Terribly sorry, sir.

My mother is a tremendous fan, Miss Hobson,

she simply would never forgive me.

Of course.

I go by Mrs. Profumo these days,

but let's not disappoint your mother.

Thank you.

I sometimes think I should become Prime Minister just to trump you.

They'd still ask for my autograph.

Oh, they'd ask for mine first.

Mr. Profumo.

- Yes. - Daily Mirror, sir

Anything to say about the Cuba situation?

Yes, the Prime Minister is absolutely right.

We cannot bow to bullying from the Soviets!

Shall we?

Everyone was worrying about the bomb,

when they should have been worrying about me.

I was much more dangerous than Russia.

Oh, shit!

Ah, Christine.

A towel, Jack.

Give the poor girl that towel.

Of course.

Right you are.

Come on!

Did you see them?

You're an absolute bugger. You knew I was going for a swim!

Naked as nature intended.

Poor Jack didn't know where to look.

He knew exactly where to bloody look!

I suppose it saved me from introducing you formally to Mr. Profumo.

Profumo... Is he foreign?

He's the coming man, little baby.

Might be our next Prime Minister.

Oh.

His wife's very beautiful. Even more than at the pictures.

She's stunning...

for a woman of her age.

But she is her age.

And I'd say Mr. Profumo only has eyes for you.

Oh!

Here's the thing.

It's all very well building Profumo up to tear the Prime Minister down,

but we don't want the Tories in at all, do we?

I thought you said the film star angle goes down well with the punters.

Like strawberries and cream, along with the war hero angle.

That's the trouble.

We're making them look like the Golden Couple.

Fortunately for us,

nobody's perfect, are they?

Would you like me to have a sniff?

Sniff away, Alan, my lad, see if anything stinks.

If the Tories are thinking of getting rid of the PM

and replacing him with the fifth Baron Profumo,

public has a right to know the kind of man he is.

Ah, ah!

So this is what you've been up to, Jack!

"Stands firm." What the hell are they implying?

Ah, that you're solid on this missile nonsense

and you've got the balls for the top job.

Ha! If the old man could ever be persuaded to retire.

Yeah. He seems determined to drop in harness.

We may have to shoot him.

Well, keep up the good work!

- You look smashing. - Hmm... Really?

I'd give you a job.

And the other...

- Disgusting. - What did you say?

Hey, Christine. Don't let it get to you.

Stony-faced old cow should mind her own fucking business!

And we should be minding ours.

I've heard a lot worse, believe me.

- Good luck, doll! - Hmm.

What about that two pounds I gave you?

I told- Mum? Mum, listen!

I can't give it to you straight away, but...

I mean Americans are putting themselves all over the world.

- Even in Communist soils! - Just things.

They want me for this advert on the telly... toothpaste.

I know things are tight!

It's your government.

I'm doing everything I can.

...being together with the Americans...

Give him ten bob now and tell him he can have the rest next week!

Cuba is the same as it's happening in Germany.

That was half a crown at least!

I'll owe you.

God, my mum! It's like feeding shillings into the bloody gas meter,

but it never gets warm.

- I think they're handmade shoes. - What?

Mr. Eddowes.

- Is he one of Stephen's patients? - Yeah.

Solicitor or something. He owns a few restaurants too.

It's clearly a...

Be my guest.

But I thought you'd had it with old blokes.

I like them. I do!

As long as they're presentable.

"Presentable"... all the way to the bloody bank.

I couldn't agree more.

Playing missiles instead of money.

Now you sound more like them than ever.

The game is not important, it's how you play it.

You're a lucky man, Ward!

My dear Michael, there is no such thing as luck.

Ah!

Only an alertness to the opportunities life has to offer you.

...a Soviet gesture.

I'll be off.

You know you can always bunk with me if you like, little baby.

Nah, Johnny'll be wondering where I got to.

You got five bob for the cab?

Help yourself.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record,

you could do a lot better for yourself than Johnny.

Thanks... Dad.

Christine, look at you. Your face is your fortune.

Notting Hill is not doing you any favors.

At your age, with your connections- my connections.

I'm not Mandy.

All's I want is a bit of a laugh

and enough spare to keep my mum off my back.

Eh. "All". Not "All's".

"All".

Eddowes, though...

Cash to burn and an eye for a pretty girl.

You know the drill.

You can have your cake and eat it.

You never eat it.

Just like watching everyone else stuffing themselves.

Crumbs everywhere.

Kinky sod.

Hmm.

I have to fancy them, Stephen.

Either I do, or I don't.

You know if you are really short of cash you can always go back to Murray's.

Stick it up your jumper!

Good girl, thank you.

Can I pour you more Champagne, sir?

That stuff bears as much resemblance to Champagne

as I do to Rock Hudson.

But yes please.

What are you doing later?

It's already later.

I mean after the club shuts.

Having fun.

Hm, splendid!

And you?

You know, I could introduce you to a lot more fun.

Murray's, guv.

It's a topless cabaret.

One of the dancers was very friendly with Mr. Profumo, apparently.

- Have you spoken to her? - They said she finished there months ago.

She can't have vanished into thin air. Did you get a name?

Christine Keeler.

I want this one, Alan.

You need to find her.

Cherchez le bint.

Stephen's right, you've got a lovely place here, Mr. Eddowes.

Michael, please.

I was so delighted that you accepted my invitation.

I thought perhaps you wouldn't.

Let me.

That's rather smart.

It was a present.

From an admirer, no doubt.

- Jack Profumo actually. - Profumo?

The War Minister?

He's something in government, isn't he?

Something important, anyway.

Christine...

Thank you ever so much for lunch, Michael.

You're very sweet.

Darby and Joan those two...

Isn't Ward worried the Russian chap's a spy?

Eugene?

Stephen says it doesn't matter because...

Well, because Wotsit's keeping an eye on him.

They listen in on the phones as well.

MI5?

Makes him feel important.

See you later, Michael.

Christine! Hear me.

- Stay away from me! - No, no, listen.

I just want to apologize for our misunderstanding.

I wasn't thinking straight.

You're not right in the bloody head, that's why!

Mr. Eddowes, can you get me out of here please?

This really isn't...

Allow me to explain myself.

I don't wanna talk to you, Lucky!

We're not together anymore. We're finished!

Listen, Christine, please. I just want to...

Lucky, all right, you're not doing yourself any favors.

Edgecombe is no good, you need to know that.

He sleeps with every girl he meets.

He's twice the bloke you'll ever be, so piss off out my business!

No, listen, I'm just trying to apologize.

- Drive! - I'm trying to be helpful, Christine!

Get off of me, man.

Lucky says it's me.

I drive him crazy.

Got that right.

You drive me crazy.

Man's got a screw loose.

Everyone knows that.

I should get a gun to keep me safe.

- Only thing he understands. - Hmm.

I'll keep you safe.

Will you?

Every way I know how.

Are you sure you didn't get that job?

Yeah.

They said they weren't hiring,

which is what they always say before you see a white guy walk up

and shake their hand.

Do you know anyone who could get hold of a gun?

You got the wrong man, girl.

John Edgecombe is a man of peace.

Peace, and music, and love...

You sure about that?

I'm not certain this is a good idea, Stephen.

You know Mandy, always keen on a new experience.

No. I meant putting Arran and Ivanov together.

Perhaps we should leave politics to the politicians?

Obviously, you will get rid of Mandy before lunch.

I wouldn't dream of bringing her to the house, Bill, you know that.

Mutually assured destruction.

The world is on the brink of nuclear war,

and Lord Arran has the ear of the Prime Minister.

I can mention your idea to the PM, Doctor Ward.

Though I'm not quite clear what a Russian naval attaché is doing,

attempting to set up peace talks.

Well, not everyone in the Kremlin

is as hell bent on war as Krushchev, my lord.

And my friendship with Eugene

puts me in a rather unique position, you might say.

- Bloody hell! - Oh, bugger.

Careful, miss.

- Sorry. - I'll take that.

This Arran didn't take me seriously, I can tell.

Eugene, Lord Arran is an English aristocrat.

He's spent a lifetime perfecting the same expression for everything,

whether he takes it seriously or not.

What do you think Eton's for?

You didn't go to Eton, my friend.

These public schools that are in fact private...

I went to public school, just not Eton.

Or Harrow, or Charterhouse, or Winchester, or Sherborne.

Sherborne is practically a minor public school...

Ah, good, I've caught you!

Bill's in the bath, but he's suffering I can tell. His sacroiliac's out.

If you can spare the time do pop along, would you? After supper.

I can always spare you the time, Lady Astor!

You've met, I think. Captain Ivanov.

I imagine you already know Lady Astor was a celebrated mannequin

before she met her husband.

Well, we all retire when we marry!

Not from everything, I hope.

Forgive me, Captain, we're just about to beat the gong.

You didn't get an invitation for supper, ah?

I fear my presence reminds Lady Astor of Bill's bachelor days.

Beans on toast at the cottage, old chap! Food of the gods.

Communism, my friend. Communism.

High society.

Stephen couldn't resist a toff any more than he could a pretty face.

He saw himself as so much more than just a doctor.

And with his finger in all those pies,

is it any surprise MI5 were beginning to wonder whose side he was on?

Doctor Ward, our society osteopath.

The Foreign Office passed it on.

Always knew Ward was a loose cannon, but really...

He's been on to Lord Arran trying to set up a peace summit, here in London.

Seems to think he can solve the Cuban Crisis.

He's a back doctor for God's sake!

Clearly he considers himself something of an emissary for the moderate Russian view.

Emissary for cloud ruddy cuckoo land.

Peace!

That is the last thing Comrade Ivanov's interested in.

Surely Ward sees it, the man is a threat to national security.

He's playing Ward like a Stradivarius.

If only we knew the tune. You're continuing to keep an eye?

Certainly am, sir.

Ivanov's always at Wimpole Mews.

And Ward keeps interesting company.

These popsies of his, that come and go,

I was wondering if it would be useful to have a word with them?

Good God, whatever for?

It's just, well, they're clearly very close to both Ward and Ivanov.

And there's started to be a certain amount of noise about one of the girls

and the Secretary of State for War.

Profumo? Well, we know about that.

It's done and dusted. Let's leave well alone.

Especially when we can see exactly what they are.

Window dressing.

Parsley on the plate!

These girls aren't going to cause any trouble.

Boom, boom, boom.

Not bad for twenty quid, eh?

Said it was from the war.

Stop pointing that thing!

It's not loaded. Yet.

Oh, come on, let's go out!

Can't remember the last time we went dancing.

Don't you fancy it, the all-nighters?

Yeah, but not with this. No, no, come on.

Told you, didn't I?

I'll look after you, darling.

Ah!

You looking good, no?

You're not so bad yourself.

Best looking girl in the west end.

- Come on! - All right.

Oh, flipping 'eck

- Jack. - Hmm.

You haven't happened to see this month's Parliamentary Sketch, have you?

God, no.

Do I look like a dipsomaniac backbencher?

Perhaps you should take a look.

- Ah. - You see what they're implying?

It's obtuse enough.

"Who's spilled the beans to MI5?

Because every time the card playing Russian spy

arrived to admire the showgirl's curves,

out of the back door slipped the Honorable Member for X?"

I wouldn't call that obtuse. It's you and Christine.

Nonsense, Bill. Absolute tosh.

It was all over months ago.

Christine who?

- Bill looks awfully worried. - He came out of the womb looking like that.

Just Westminster gossip.

I'll fill you in after supper.

Whoa!

You know I love you, right?

Hey, don't turn round, but Lucky's here.

Don't!

- You scared? - No.

He's the guy with the problem.

Screw him! It's a free country.

Hey, cool it. Cool it.

Got plenty of trouble without you running around finding it for me.

I don't want trouble!

If he doesn't like it, he can piss off!

Come on!

Leave it, man, she's not worth it.

No, man, it's disrespectful.

- What was that, man? - Listen, you know me!

Leave it, leave it.

Watch out.

What you trying to do to me? Rubbing my nose in it.

You know everybody knows me here!

That's enough, we don't want any trouble.

- It has nothing to do with you. - It has everything to do with me!

- You're not so full of it now. - Shut your fucking mouth.

- I said leave it! - What you gonna do?

I swear to you, I got box your eyes out!

Swear what?

Come on!

Go on, you nasty little bitch.

- Let me go! - Leave her!

Leave her alone!

- Johnny! - You try and play bad?

What you gonna do?

No, do it now.

Go on now. What you got?

- Bring it- - Ah!

He cut me.

Everybody see, he cut me!

You'll go to jail you! You mad bitch!

He going to jail, both of you!

Go on! Run!

Christine!

Christine!

Jesus!

- What's that? Mandy! - What?

- Under the pillow. - Oh, calm down.

It's only a bit of Fruit and Nut, in case...

- In case? What "in case"? - The bomb.

If the warning goes off, doesn't matter if it gives me spots, does it?

- Marylebone 54643. - Meshugganah!

It's all kicked off with Lucky! Get Stephen!

- No, Stephen's at the cottage. - It's proper trouble, Mandy.

I'm gonna come over!

No, listen, just lie low for a bit, okay?

Peter's here.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Stephen will be back by then.

Mand-

Shit!

Christine, what you playing at? We got to split! Now!

Before the pigs come get me, come on!

Why'd you have to cut him?

Oh, little baby, what is it about you?

Chaos seems to follow you wherever you go.

- It wasn't me who pulled a knife. - No, I know.

But I did hear your knight in shining armor gave Lucky a face full of stitches.

Lucky started it.

The police should be after him just as much as Johnny!

And any good solicitor will make exactly that case, self-defense.

If Lucky had provoked him, struck the first blow.

Of course he bloody did!

I never thought Johnny would pull a stunt like that.

Never thought he had it in him.

Notting Hill, little baby. What did I say?

I'm not moving back to Wimpole Mews, Stephen.

Did I even suggest it?

I can't always come crying to you, can I?

I've got to stand on my own two feet.

How much does a good solicitor cost, anyway?

Little baby.

Lots and lots of money.

Wiggy's brother's got a place in Brentford.

I'm not going to Brentford.

Stephen's right, and Mr. Eddowes.

You have to hand yourself in.

Fuck that.

"Mr. Eddowes."

- That who you're seeing? - Don't start that again, checking up on me.

I'm doing this so we don't have to cough up for a solicitor.

It's normal to want to know where you are, if we're together.

"If."

Is that a question?

Oh, no, no. Hold on!

It's hard.

The walls are closing in, you know?

Being stuck in here all day and all night.

Well, you brought that on yourself.

I was protecting you!

You're my girl, Christine.

Doesn't mean you bloody own me!

You look particularly lovely tonight, is this new?

Erm, yes, a few weeks actually.

It is ridiculous how this is being reported,

like some glorious American victory!

- Can I get you another drink? - Thank you, my dear.

Can you believe this? I rather think you have to...

Close your eyes and think of the free legal advice.

Hm?

Believe me.

Khrushchev has made some counter-demands to the Americans.

- Wait and see. - God, change the bloody record!

America was always going to come out on top, wasn't it?

More naval and air power,

loads more intercontinental missiles

Mandy is the expert. We should all listen to her!

I can read the paper.

Russia's got the ground troops but that doesn't matter anymore.

"The theatre of war has shifted."

Of course ground troops matter!

Ask the Germans if ground troops matter.

Mr. Profumo would be able to fill us in, perhaps.

I'm not sure if I want to know how close we came to being blown to kingdom come,

thank you very much.

- You know Profumo? - Not as well as Christine, by the look of it.

Beautiful place, Cliveden. Very English. Typical.

And at the Spring Cottage,

Stephen is the host with the most.

Cheers to that!

Nah zda-rovh-yeh.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Your turn.

Stop it!

Right, I think it's time for a race!

- Girls against boys! - No. Piggy back race.

- Girls on boys' shoulders. - Oh, my goodness.

No, no. Let's do Russia against England!

Yes, if you insist! Over here, young lady. Your country needs you.

Oh!

No, don't tickle me!

Honestly, they're like children sometimes, aren't they?

On your starting marks, please.

Wait, wait.

Not exactly like children.

And ready steady go!

Oh!

Yes!

Oh, no!

Yeah! England won!

Fantastic.

Are you sure we haven't met before?

You look so awfully familiar.

I've never been anywhere like this before.

It's charming, isn't it?

Bloody hell.

There's a lot to dust!

It's like being in a fairy tale.

Hmm.

Murray's!

Murray's club, with the feathers.

Oh, yeah, that's me!

Did we have a drink?

Sorry, I have drinks with lots of gentlemen.

- Ha, here you are! - Ah.

Another race.

Best out of three. I insist!

- Come on! - All right.

National honor must be satisfied.

- Ah! Ah! - No! No!

Let's go!

Stop it!

Mr. Eddowes says you corrupted me.

I hope you've told him I was very late to that party, darling.

Piss off.

Have you ever been in love?

Twenty times a day, little baby, you know me.

Why have we never done it, do you think?

You shagged Mandy.

Are you frightened of me, Stephen?

What are you scared of?

Yes, thank you.

I swear, when I'm sat in Mr. Eddowes car,

it's like I'm twelve again, thirteen,

all those dads used to touch me up when I babysat their kids.

Some wrinkly old cock.

You don't have to look!

Well, you don't! Why would you?

What? Ever?

There you have it, that is why Mandy has a mink coat and a Jaguar.

And will have a diamond ring and a flat in Mayfair by the time she's twenty one.

Last of the great romantics, our Mand.

Peter's dead.

He's had a heart attack.

It's not a joke!

They found him in his car.

He's dropped dead!

I was foul to him the last time I saw him!

I never knew, and now I'll never be able to say sorry.

- Shhh. - I told him he had bad breath.

I didn't mean it!

- I didn't! - Little baby.

Hey, err-I'm sorry about before, doll.

Johnny?

Hey, Christine, how's it hanging beautiful?

- We have mellor opium. - Darrell, have you seen Johnny?

He may be around here somewhere.

What the hell are you doing with my boyfriend, you bitch?

He's not your boyfriend.

He bloody is!

Look at you, he must be desperate.

Hey! No, come on. Come on. Cool it, Christine!

You can't keep it in your trousers for one bloody night?

Why should I? You off putting it around the West End.

For you! You're the one who cut Lucky Gordon.

Who wanted the gun, Christine?

- I got coppers asking everywhere looking for me. - Fuck off!

I've got the law all over me because of you!

Screw the little scrubber's brains out, I don't give a toss.

And if you think I'm gonna stand up for you in court

or get a solicitor for you John Edgecombe,

you've got another fucking thing coming!

Get out of my way!

Oh!

Darling.

Sexy.

These floors are freezing.

There's a Rembrandt in the study, but they're too mean to heat the house.

When you said party, I thought you meant party party.

Are you not in the mood?

Thank you.

As my mother used to say, "If you're bored, you're boring."

God, if people knew...

When I left home, I had this idea in my head about London's society,

whatever it's called.

Like everyone posh was better.

Sex is the great equalizer, little baby.

You always say that, but no-one's doing this in Wraysbury.

Two people, lights out, ten minutes.

Agh! I should write a bloody book.

Christine, dear, who's the Prime Minister?

Why, is he here?

No. I mean, what is his name?

If you're going to be a writer.

Our good old PM.

Oh, I'm not stupid, Stephen!

I know you're not, but you are deliciously ignorant.

Why are you being so horrible?

Hey...

Little baby. Huh?

Can I stay with you for a bit?

I'd be delighted.

Time for cocoa and pajamas, I think.

You couldn't lend me a fiver, could you?

I've got my mum breathing down my neck about her rates.

Need to cash a cheque.

Must dash, Maharajah with a frozen shoulder.

Help yourself to whatever there is, little baby.

Not much, I'm afraid.

I was really in love with Johnny.

Oh, little baby.

You always are.

Until the next one, huh?

No one understands you like I do,

that's the thing.

We're twins.

No, were bloody not, Stephen.

May I telephone you?

I'm in the book. Stephen's number.

- The new suit? - Yes, what do you think?

- Very dashing. - Yeah.

Though do ask your tailor if it's necessary to cut your trousers so tight

the world can see your penis?

All right.

"It pays to advertise," isn't that what they say?

Depends on what you're selling.

Don't you think a prospective leader had better shut up shop?

Particularly if he's playing happy families.

Well, you never know.

After Macmillan the country might be rather grateful

for a Prime Minister with a working todger.

If you have a fault, darling, it is over-confidence.

And don't say "todger", Jack.

Not if you ever want to fuck me again.

Oh, but I do...

Laddie died.

It's from my sister.

My pony...

he was hit by a car the same day Peter passed.

Isn't that strange?

I saved every penny I had to pay for Laddie.

When he was twelve he was my whole world!

You'll get over it.

I know I will. But I feel really shitty now!

- Christine! - Shit! It's Johnny.

I know you're in there.

Get your arse down here!

I got the law all over me 'cos of Lucky.

- Tell him I'm not here! - Well, where are you?

- Make it up. Say I'm at the hairdressers. - Christine!

I'll not be a sacrifice!

What? Any black stud do for you?

You not be messing with me no more!

She's not here, she's gone to the hairdresser!

Bullshit! Christine!

I've got a taxi waiting for me, it's costing me money!

Christine!

- Come on! - There it is!

- Now you can piss off! - What you playing at?

- I'm coming for you! - Big man!

You're winding him up!

Go back to your little spacky-faced bitch at the shebeen!

She doesn't even know what it feels like to have a real man!

Stephen, Johnny is trying to kill us. You need to come quick!

Drive now, drive!

Yes, now!

And can I quote you on that?

- Mandy... - Rice-Davis, with a hyphen.

Christine's the model and I'm an actress...

- Christine? - Keeler.

K-E-E-L-E-R.

You got the hyphen for me? Uh?

John Edgecombe, I'm arresting you on suspicion of attempted murder-

- I didn't do anything! - Shut it! I don't want to hear any more from you!

Get in the car, fucking coon!

- Thanks for your time, Mr. Ward. - Thank you so much Sergeant.

Well, little baby, I did warn you.

The poo-poo has well and truly hit the propeller.

Come on.

I am not a bad person.

I am young, and I like to have fun.

And like any girl my age I have made mistakes.

Yes, Mr. Profumo was keeping a secret.

We both were.

But we weren't the only ones.

And believe me, the secrets that surrounded us

let to a far more than a few harmless lies.

It's true.

Terrible crimes have being committed.

But not by me.

Yes, sir.

Yes, looks like the girls could be a problem after all, sir.

Christine!

Christine Keeler?

- Who says so? - That's not a face anyone's gonna forget in a hurry!

We would love to hear your story, Christine, when you're ready.

The story behind the story.

We'll pay you good money for it, photos as well. Double bubble.

Think about it!

All right. I will.

I didn't know it, but I still had a hell of a lot to learn.

I was naive, I can see that now.

But so was he. And he was a man of the world.

Hello.

So you found me in the book then?

Don't you look ravishing?

Thank you.

My carriage awaits if you fancy a spin.

Why don't you come in first? John.

Call me Jack. All my friends do.

Jack.

I wasn't expecting happily ever after. Just a bit of fun.

But what started as harmless fun has sown the seeds of scandal.

The most serious scandal this country has ever faced.