Original subtitles

[MUSIC PLAYING]

ANNOUNCER: And now DreamWorks' "The Penguins of Madagascar."

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Hit it!

-Cute and cuddly, boys.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

-The Vesuvius twins.

ALICE: OK, kiddies.

Time to go make someone else's life miserable.

-Cool.

-I love misery.

-Is it really over?

-And with no permanent injuries or-- backpack!

-Well, well.

Looks like Tweedle-Dim and Tweedle-Dangerous

forget their goodie bags.

KOWALSKI: Skipper.

A Vesuvius boy's backpack is a minefield of deadly peril.

Firecrackers.

Shaken-up soda cans.

Sharpened number 2 pencils.

-I know!

Free arsenal, right?

-I don't know.

-Of course it's dangerous, compadre.

That's why we are not taking any chances.

Private is.

-What?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

SKIPPER: You're doing great!

-Oh, phew.

It's just a bunch of superhero comic--

SKIPPER: Drop the comics, Private!

-Huh?

-What's wrong, Skipper?

Some hidden danger inside the comic books?

-You blind fools!

Comic books are the danger.

-Uh, what?

-Spangly costumes and shouted catchphrases

are the mortal enemies of covert operations.

We work in shadows, not stretchy pants.

-Surely there's no harm in reading about superheroes,

or in our case, looking at all the pretty pictures.

-That's always where it starts.

And it ends with some geeked-out yahoo

playing dandy-land dress-up.

Look at these things!

Fancy-suited heroes.

High-tech gadgetry!

Page after page of epic combat.

No!

The pull of caped crime fighting is

too great for the weak and nerdy-minded.

Well, I'm off to the Dumpster.

-That me look at.

-Uh-huh.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-What if Skipper wakes up?

-Oh, he's going to sleep like a baby, courtesy

of Mr. Snoozy-Time's Fighty Nighty Night mobile.

-[BABBLING]

-He's so sweet when he dreams about vanquishing

his mortal enemies.

-They're more glorious than I dreamed.

To the picture book nook!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

-These things are fantastic!

-Yeah!

Yeah!

-Look at us.

We're not out playing dress-up in spangly uniforms.

That Skipper doesn't know what he's talking about.

-Pssh.

Yeah.

To be a real superhero, you'd need some special ability,

like Rico's power-vomiting.

-Bleh.

[EXPLOSION]

MAN: My car!

-Aha!

-Or, or some kind of special suit.

-Like my armor!

-And, well, obviously, you couldn't have a super-team

without a resident super-genius.

[LAUGHING] Oh!

KOWALSKI (VOICEOVER): Midnight.

The hour when evil slithers out to wreak its evil.

But beware, evil, for this zoo is guarded by--

-Steel Penguin!

-The Throbbing Cerebellum!

-Barf Bag!

-Barf Bag?

Really?

I thought we agreed on Wonder Tum?

-Barf Bag!

--[LAUGHTER] This is the coolest thing we've ever done.

-Agreed.

Let's go thwart some evil!

-Ain't no secret to a good wet willy.

You just gotta let the mucus do what it do.

-Huh?

[EXPLOSION]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Hey!

-Hey, whatsa matter here?

-Stop being naughty!

-Huh? KOWALSKI: Ooh!

Good catchphrase.

MORT: Oh!

Help me!

[SCREAMING] I wanted to see where the air lives.

-Stop being naughty!

-Oh!

OK.

-Ugh!

This is the most uncomfortable pillow in the world.

-Stop being naughty!

-What in the-- oh!

Oh, this is nice.

-So I guess that was pretty much it on the evil tonight.

-Yeah.

PRIVATE: Ooh.

The clock tower's a few minutes slow.

That's inconvenient!

-To the clock tower!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Yes!

-Woo-hoo!

KOWALSKI: And thus the dawn rises on a crime-free morning.

Gentlemen, we've done some good!

[CRASH]

MARLENE: What in the world's going on?

-Big Ben Almighty.

What's the racket?

-Ditch the evidence!

-Nice reaction time, boys!

I didn't even see you leave the lair.

-Yeah.

How about that?

-Anybody catch a peep at the perp?

-We've already made a thorough search

and there is absolutely zero evidence anywhere

so we should all leave now without asking any questions.

Who wants snow cones?

-Ooh!

I want a snow cone.

-I do!

-I'll take two.

-What's a snow cone?

-I have a question, Kowalski.

Why is there a cape stuck to your foot?

-Oh, I don't see-- ah!

-Not just a cape, a spangly superhero cape!

-Yo, I seen that cape last night.

Couple of super-guys totally interrupted our, uh--

-Legitimate business endeavours.

-Deviled ham!

Some starry-eyed milksop must have gotten

hold of those accursed comic books!

PRIVATE: Skipper, I think I know--

-How to catch these misguided nerds.

An old-fashioned stakeout.

-A stakeout, eh?

I like it.

Assemble the usual supplies.

We roll with the dusk.

-So we're having a stakeout to catch ourselves?

-No.

We're having a stakeout to catch nobody.

When no superheroes show, Skipper

will assume they've given up and we can forget this whole thing.

-Oh.

-Oh.

That's impressive.

-Yes.

The Cerebellum never stops throbbing.

SKIPPER: Huh.

A super-no-show.

Looks like they given up, boys.

Well, I guess we can call it a--

[SCREAM]

Flamingo habitat.

Move it!

-And then some freak in a cape zoomed

through and took my lucky feather!

-So now it's come to super-theivery.

Curse you, comic books!

-Someone in a cape?

How is that even--

[SCREAM]

-Huh?

-What kind of monster would swipe a guy's peanut bag.

-Mysterious super-villain in a cape?

-Wow.

I was just being rhetorical.

But yeah.

How do you know? ROY: Stop!

Thief!

-Engage that billowy cape!

[SCREAMS]

-Blast!

This thief is a slippery geek indeed.

-We've hidden the truth long enough, Kowalski.

There's a real bad guy out there now.

And there's only one way to stop a super-villain.

-Right!

Rico, I'm gonna need a claw hammer, 16 roofing

nails, and a presidential pardon.

-Bleh.

-No.

The answer is with superheroes!

-Fine.

-Also, we broke the clock.

-Yeah.

I got that.

JULIEN: Help!

Save the royalty!

-Fear not, citizen, justice approaches.

Ya!

-Do you have to talk like that?

-Sorry.

-Um, what's going on?

-Julien?

Where are you?

-Well, oh, hello.

Welcome to my trap.

-No way!

-Our mystery foe is Julien?

-Well, it's-- no!

No.

It is not this Julien.

It is I who is me, the Masked Booty!

-But you're not wearing a mask.

-Oh!

-Ah!

-Please!

JULIEN: Oh, who is the bottom in your face?

You don't know, because it's wearing a mask.

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

SKIPPER: Get him!

-Look, I've been reading about it

in these picture books I found by the dump-box.

It's all in there.

-Ring-tail, you lunatic.

You're aping the bad guy!

-What?

No.

No, I don't think so.

See?

He puts on a mask.

And then everybody has to give him all their stuff.

It's like being a super-king.

-Didn't you read to the end, the inevitable come-uppance?

-Of course I read it to the-- oh, no.

-Well then, allow me to teach you how this story ends.

-Skipper, you?

You're a comic book geek?

-Yes.

And way to really underline the irony, Private.

And now it's time the Masked Booty met

my superhero alter-ego, Slappy Hurt-Punch.

-Slappy Hurt-Punch?

Are you serious?

That is your name?

[LAUGHTER] Do you even have any super-powers, Slappy?

-Just one, Slap!

Hurt!

Punch!

-Hold on a second.

He's my wacky comickery book sound effects guy.

It's great, isn't it?

And we fight!

-Blam.

Pow.

Krack-kowie.

-No more.

I am making my super-retirement.

-Retirement.

-Thanks, Slappy. [SNICKERING] No, no.

Seriously.

Cool name.

PRIVATE: Did you really have to be so thorough with him?

-You know how these comic book stories go, Private,

always copping out with some ambiguous ending

to keep you hooked for the next time.

Well, you can take it from ring-tail.

This is absolutely without question the end.

-That's debatable.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Men, we live as a unit.

We fight as a unit.

And we sleep as a unit.

It's been a rough week in the battle for shuteye.

-The lemur auditory assault has been merciless.

-But tonight, it's doze or die.

Arm yourselves for lights-out.

[ALARM CLOCK BUZZING]

-Uh, nightcap, Skipper?

-Good point!

Warm milk puts me out like a teeny-tiny little baby.

-I mean, that's not your nightcap.

That is.

-OK.

Maybe I'm not 100% sleep-shape, shipwise.

[SNORING]

VOICE OVER INTERCOM: Commencing lights-out protocol.

[BEEPING]

-Ho, ho, ho.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Where's the Private?

ACTRESS: For my kind offer, when I make curtsy, bid me farewell.

PRIVATE: Oh, bravo!

Bravo!

[APPLAUSE]

[BELL RINGING]

-Oh!

Lights out!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Reporting, Skipper.

Sorry!

I was--

-Fraternising with the enemy!

Is that it, Private?

You finally flipped on us?

-No, Skipper, never!

See, the play's the thing.

I was--

-Save it!

I'll wring the answers out of you in the AM.

For now, hit the bunks.

-What's up with Skipper?

-He seems a bit crappy and paranoid.

I mean, you know, more than usual.

-Lemur Party Induced Chronic Insomnia,

commonly known as LPICI, at least by me.

Earlier tonight he spent an hour interrogating

the coffee machine.

-Give me your dark, beany secrets.

-Poor Skipper.

Good night, sweet prince.

And flights of angels--

-Button it, Private!

VOICE OVER INTERCOM: 10:00 PM.

Lights out.

Seriously.

-Ten of the clocks!

I declare Lemur-morial Days infestivities

open for partying!

-Oh, let me!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Sweet and sour meatballs!

Don't those lemurs ever sleep?

Kowalski, review recent boombox countermeasures.

-Let's see.

Monday, ask nicely to turn music down.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Be quiet!

-Hey, this New York, the city that never sleeps!

-Because of you!

-Tuesday, gave dirty looks.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Wednesday, blasted penguin mating calls full volume.

[SCREECHING]

No effect, at least not on the lemurs.

-How you doin'?

-Recommendations for next move?

-To be or not to be.

That is the question.

-We need action, not waffling.

Rico!

-Blagh.

-I like the way you think, soldier.

-Perhaps we should try diplomacy, the art of resolving

disputes by negotiation or other nonmilitary means.

-Mm-hmm.

Great.

Why don't we just have a quilting bee while we're at it?

-I know, it goes against every bone

in your thermoregulated body, Skipper.

But the diplomatic approach has been known to work,

except when it doesn't.

-Oh.

All right.

Anything to get a few dozen winks.

-At the behest of the penguins, we

call these peace treaty talks to order.

Quite right, Phil.

That is disturbing the peace treaty.

-Thank you.

Thank you.

As king, I will speak first.

I shall give you to, eh, Mort.

And you shall, you know, go away.

-Oh, I'm a bargaining chip!

Yay!

-We demand a 10 o'clock curfew!

-No prob-- hey!

10 o'clock?

10:00?

OK.

We have not even begun to rock out by then!

Ha ha!

I laugh at that.

-Oh, ruffians that will swear, dance, revel the night!

Hours filled up with riots, banquets, sports.

-Private!

Knock off the old-timey yackety-yak.

We're negotiating!

-But, but Skipper, it's--

-Time for you to be confined to quarters.

On the double!

-Aye, my lord.

So from hour to hour, we rot and rot.

Oh!

Oh, goodie!

I can still catch the show.

-So we return, conquering-- uh, what's that word for weaklings,

again?

-Diplomats.

-All I know is I'm finally going to win

the battle for the land of nod.

Private's gone AWOL again!

Game over, Private.

Who you workin' for?

-Oh, I'm amazed and know not what to say.

-The code again.

Who's your outside contact?

-Skipper.

Private's no double agent.

He can't even cheat at Go Fish.

-All right.

Stand down, Rico.

[SCREAM]

Know this, Private.

I may be operating on short sleep rations.

But I have one watery, bloodshot, highly-trained eye

on you!

Understood?

-Aye, verily.

-And one more thing!

I have one watery, bloodshot, highly-trained eye on you!

Understood?

-Disturbing the peace treaty talks, round two.

-We've reviewed the treaty.

It's one-sided, demoralising, insulting, oh!

And two-ply.

And good to go.

-Not so quickly, tuxedo bird.

We wish to add some teensy appendages.

Note the last item there.

Your big-brained penguin will invent

for me the solar-powered karaoke.

-Oh!

Oh.

And this one time, this guy said,

better a witty fool than a foolish wit!

How great is that?

-Hold on a minute.

Blech.

All right.

Keep talking.

-We had a deal.

-And we still do.

I have just swapped the parts I don't like with the parts

I do like.

Take it or heave it.

-Leave it!

-Leave it?

Wait.

Leave what?

-I'll sign.

-Skipper, you're not thinking clearly!

-A pox upon you, you muddy rascals!

[LAUGHING] That was a good one.

-Don't try to confuse me with your legalese.

-How about you're just little leather-jerking, crystal

button, agate ring, puke-stocking, caddis garter,

Spanish pouches?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-It's true!

[CRYING] I think.

-I do not know these words.

But I know when I am insulted.

And I am insulted!

I heave it!

-Wait.

He didn't mean it.

Where's a pen?

I need a pen!

-Too late.

Eh, good luck snoozing tonight.

I am turning the volumes knobby up to me-leven-teen!

-No!

He doesn't speak for us.

He's gone AWOL!

He's a turncoat!

Turncoat!

-You're really not thinking clearly.

-But Skipper, it was just Shakespeare, in the park.

-Spears!

Shaking!

In the park!

It's worse than I thought!

Did you hear that?

Artillery!

The spear shakers are coming.

Put Private in lockdown!

-But Skipper--

-That's an order, Kowalski!

Heh.

-Um, you might want to dial back ye old fancy talk.

Do you even know what those words mean?

-Uh, no.

-The blast of war blows in our ears!

-Did you hear that, boys?

It's war talk!

Just look at the size of that enemy encampment.

There must be nearly 1,892 of them.

-Looks to me like an innocent theatrical presentation.

-What have kings that privates have not too?

-You call that innocent?

It's a code again, something about making Private a king!

-You really think--

-This is not a drill!

It's a full-on coup!

Initiate Operation Break-Speare!

Phase One, locate enemy munitions!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[APPLAUSE]

[SNORING]

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

-Please!

We've got to help Skipper!

He's got acute sleep deprivation!

-La, la, la, la, la.

I'm not hearing why you think he's cute.

You traitor, you.

-I'm not a traitor!

I was just quoting Shakespeare.

That last one was from "King Henry V."

-What?

Who is claiming to be a king named Henry?

That is a very stupid name for a king!

You will lead me to this stupid Henry

immediately so as to ridicule his name

and physical appearance.

-Oh!

-Prepare for combat!

-I love thee, Kate.

I kiss your hand, and I call you my queen.

Wait.

What play are we doing?

-[SCREAMS]

-Oh, look!

That guy is hitting that other guy with sharp, pointy metal.

-I took stage combat at Yale Drama!

-Should have gone to night school.

-Oh!

It's the guys!

MAURICE: If I know anything about sword fights,

they're losing big time.

Come on!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

WOMAN: There are animals everywhere!

MAN: They went that way!

KOWALSKI: Skipper!

-I will interrupt that silly thing.

-Perhaps a diversion.

MAURICE: No cannon balls!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-What play is this?

-OK.

I have two big problematic problems with you,

you pretendy king.

-Oh!

Oh!

Rabid spider monkey!

-What?

PRIVATE: Hi, guys!

-You traitor!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Oh!

What have I done?

What have I done?

What have I done?

-He definitely needs a nap.

-Forgive me, Private.

-I'll forgive you, Skipper.

It's not your fault you can't sleep.

-Private!

You should be with Manfredi and Johnson.

You know, one up there, one down there.

-No, it's make-believe.

See?

Harmless.

-Oh no it isn't!

ACTOR: You fat-witted, clay-brained guts.

You naughty painted fool.

-I love this theatre thing.

I am adding season tickets to our list of demands.

-I don't think we need a treaty anymore.

Skipper's finally found a place he can get some sleep.

[SNORING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]