Original subtitles

ANNOUNCER: And now, DreamWorks, "The Penguins of Madagascar."

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

-Hit it!

-(SINGING) Hey-o!

Hey-o!

Yeah!

Hey-o!

Yeah!

[WHIP CRACKING]

-Cute and cuddly, boys.

-Just set it over there.

-Gentlemen, place your bets.

-Hm.

Mammal sized crate, made of Spanish cedar.

I'd wager the new arrival is an ant-eater.

-Ah!

Ah!

Platypus!

Platypus!

-Perhaps it's a magical unicorn.

You know, if they were-- if they were real.

-All right.

Let's crack this.

-And the newest resident of our fair zoo is--

-Oh, no.

Not another one.

-Oh, oh man.

My bum knee is killing me.

Ah.

Yeah.

This is what I'm talking about.

Some resting and relaxing.

[SCREAMING]

-Coming!

[COUGHING]

KING JULIEN: [INAUDIBLE] crisis intervention emergency.

-What-- what is it?

-I cannot reach my coconut juice again.

Well?

Your king is waiting.

That will be all.

You know what?

I've changed my mind.

Eh.

Not really feeling coconut-y.

[COUGHING]

-But you know what I could really go for right now?

-Pineapple?

-Yes!

You guessed it.

And let's not let this get out of control this time,

OK, Maurice?

-Lemur's time is short, so we'll make this brief.

Kowalski, brief them, briefly.

-A new arrival was delivered to the loading

dock at 06:00 and is--

-It's a lemur!

-Gah!

I was building to that, private.

-A new lemur?

-Here?

-Another subject for me to rule over?

Yeah, babies!

More booties the merrier for the shaking, I always say.

Not always, but, you know, now.

-We may have to assume the worst.

Back to the loading dock, boys.

-What would be the worst, skipper?

-We could be looking at a lemur invasion.

ALICE: Here you go, Clemson.

Time to socialise into your new colony.

-Hello?

Clemson, was it?

-Clemson, as your king, I royally command you--

-King?

Did he say king?

Uh, forgive me, sire.

I had no idea that I was in the presence

of you, which is royalty.

True Royalty, if I may.

-My feet!

This is a little bit weird.

-Clemson, that's no king.

-You.

You clearly have the wizened-- which is good,

that means wise-- and noble features of a true--

[COUGHING]

-Huh?

-Note the crown.

-A thousand pardons, your illustrious-- I hate the bowing

part, by the way, I have to be honest-- but I'm doing it,

and in fact, make it 2000 pardons-- you know what?

2,500 pardons.

That's the best I can offer.

You-- and you are the illustrious and esteemed king,

and I'll just stay down here till I can get--

-Oh, fancy.

Your words are like butter to my ears.

-You've got to be kidding me.

-Hang on, sir.

Let me get that for you.

-Permit me, if I may.

And if you may.

Ha, ha.

-Yeah, that's the stuff.

Yeah.

Right there.

Yeah!

-Woah.

Someone's been hitting the gym.

Grr!

Ha, ha!

-More ear butter.

-Oh, your shoulders are like granite.

Ooh.

Relax, relax.

It's the royal responsibilities weighing you down.

Am I right?

-I think that I'm liking this Clemson already.

-I think I'm liking this Clemson too.

What do you think, Mort?

-Oh, yeah.

Get that.

Right there.

Yeah.

In between the toes.

Yeah.

-No!

He's evil.

KING JULIEN: Yeah, Maurice, we have

a serious discussion that needs discussing.

-Maurice, as I was explaining to our wise and magnetically

charismatic leader-- no, really, I mean he's unbelievable.

-I thank you for noticing, Clemson.

-That while a King may have many subjects,

he can really only have one true right hand man.

Hey, look where I am!

-Otherwise the other would have to be the left hand man,

or maybe the right foot or the left elbow.

Or maybe-- the point is, I'm going

to decide in a most difficult gangly decision.

-Clemson can have it.

-While you are both my loyal subjects,

I'm sorry to say that I can only choose one of you.

-Just pick Clemson.

-And since I know how much this position is meaning to you,

Maurice--

-Clemson's your man!

-I want to chose the fairest way to decide between--

-Better to give it to Clemson, don't you think?

-And you had better let the king tell you

how he is going to decide that one.

Can't I decide that, OK?

-Sorry.

Go ahead.

-We'll hold the contests, with your competing

with better the competition to prove

who can best serve the king.

Royal booty scratching.

On your mark.

Get set.

Go.

-Hm.

-Ha, ha, ha!

KING JULIEN: Go, go!

Scratch-erize my booty!

-Oh, Clemson, your skills are the sickest.

Sorry, Maurice.

But it kind of looks like Clemson here

is the one best fitting to be my right hand man.

-Oh, well.

There can only be one right hand man.

-Just like there can only be one king.

-Rico, take point.

Private, watch his six.

Kowalski, don't fire until you see the rings of their tails.

-Nothing today, but it looks like an outgoing crate

has been prepped.

No animal has been specified yet,

but there is a destination tag.

-I'd recognise that code anywhere.

It's a-- it's-- Hoboken Zoo.

-Did you say Hobo-- hobobobo-- hobo--

-No!

-You don't mean--

-Some poor sap has a one way ticket

to North Jersey oblivion.

[THUNDER]

-Mort?

-It's Clemson.

He's evil.

-Oh, no.

Just let me get some peace.

-You've really outdone yourself this time, haven't you?

Ha, ha!

Moved up the ranks to the number two spot in record time.

Even for me, this is better than I've ever been.

And tomorrow, all you need to do is get booty

for brains out of the way and you'll be number one.

That's right.

Number one!

Ha, ha, ha!

That means the king.

Ha, ha, ha!

[THUNDER]

-Didn't look like rain.

Ha, ha, ha!

-Skipper, there's nothing about anyone

getting transferred to Hoboken.

-Judging from the size of a crate,

I think we can rule out Roy and Burt.

-Right.

So that leaves the otter, the chimps,

lemurs, chameleons, and, um--

-And of course, us.

-I've rotted away in gulags, work camps, penal colonies,

and every dirty, flea-bitten corner of creation.

But I promised myself that I would never

end up in Hoboken, at least not alive!

I will peck out my own eyeballs.

I swear to you!

MAURICE: Skipper!

There's something wrong with that Clemson dude.

-Well, mostly he's evil.

-So the new guy was trying on Ring-tail's crown.

Big whoop.

-That doesn't prove that he's evil.

-Trust me.

Mort is right.

He said something about getting rid of King Julien tomorrow.

-To who?

-Himself.

-Hm.

-Scheming aloud.

That does sound like a classic villain quirk.

-Well, how about an evil laugh?

Did he start off his whole speech with something like--

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

-You know, like-- something like that?

-Yeah, yeah!

I mean, there was a laugh for sure.

But he closed with it.

And it was more like a--

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

-You know, something like that.

-That does sound authentically evil.

-Come on, boys!

Move out.

-Er, so where is this fancy schmancy royal dance-y special

present you are giving to me?

-In there, your eminence.

Keep going.

No, you're going-- just a little more.

-We're too late!

-Quick, where would a psychotic mad mammal

take Ring-tail to dispose of him without a trace?

Rico?

-Here?

-Administration building incinerator.

-Here?

-Dung-heap behind the elephant habitat.

-Oh, here's nice.

-Deep fryer at the cafeteria.

-Yeah.

[HISSING]

-No, it would have to be something

he planned ahead of time.

Something he had ready the minute--

-Skipper!

The crate.

The one going to the Hoboken zoo.

-Hoboken.

-I am seeing only darkness.

-That's why it's a surprise.

Now keep going.

Keep going.

Keep going!

MAURICE: I think you've gone far enough.

-Maurice, how dare you interrupt Clemson when he was

about to give me a very special present?

-The present he's trying to give you,

Ring-tail, is a one way ticket to the Hoboken zoo.

-Oh, uh, what's the resale value?

-King Julien, Clemson's trying to get rid of you.

-Ugh, he's evil!

-Why should I trust you now, when

I have my loyal and trusted new--

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

-Right hand man.

Um, did he always have that evil laugh thing, or is that new?

CLEMSON: Silly king.

I'm sorry, ex-king.

Ha, ha, ha!

Whoa!

Oh, come on!

-He was evil.

-Yes.

Yes, he was.

He and Hoboken deserve each other.

-You know, you can feel free to thank me at any time.

-Uh, no thanks.

I'm good with just leaving it as one of those,

you know, unspoken things between us.

ALICE: Ugh, stinky, disgusting, filthy-- ugh.

Bon appetit!

Can't wait until the automated feeder arrives.

-That makes two of us, sister.

-Poor Alice doesn't get much satisfaction from her work.

-Let's not empathise with the zookeeper, Private.

It dulls your edge.

[RUMBLING]

KOWALSKI: Ah!

-Kowalski, are you OK?

-Yeah, I'm fine.

But my cold fusion beverage chiller

is about to obliterate every living

creature within a five mile radius.

-Splendid.

Another one of your inventions endangers us all.

Rico, terminate Kowalski's latest disaster.

-If only I could I boost my brain power

from super-genius to super-mega-genius.

-Gosh, Kowalski, I think your brain power's already tip-top.

-You also think there's a little man

in the fridge who turns the light on and off.

-And one day I'll catch him.

-No.

My brain must be better.

And it will be.

I will be the-- gah!

Ow.

-Not off to a great start.

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

-I did it.

I have supercharged my brain.

-Hey, new noggin?

Good on you.

-It's quite, um, bulbous.

-Isn't it?

All I had to do was irradiate massive quantities

of omega-3 fatty acids, then add--

[CHEWING NOISES]

-Why am I even bothering?

All you tiny brained folk need to know

is I am now the smartest penguin on earth!

-Weren't you already that?

-Well, yeah.

But I am way smarter now.

I can do anything.

Cure the common cold.

Solve string theory.

Calculate pi to the millionth digit.

-Yay!

Pie!

-Well if anybody needs me, I'll be pushing the envelope

of fluid structural dynamics and mo-coupled regenerative

machines.

-Pie?

-Sorry, Rico.

No pie.

But it is almost lunch time.

-Yay!

-What is the chow hold-up?

-Fish!

-I'm a bit peckish, Skipper.

Where is Alice?

ALICE: "The automated animal feed distribution system takes

the hassle and mess out of--" Blah, blah, blah.

Let's just fire this baby up.

-Look, Maurice.

The sky spirits are giving to us a fruity-est bounty.

-I got it, I got it, I-- oof!

-Yes!

I never have to schlep food to these lazy animals again.

-Ooh, looks like Alice got herself some heavy artillery.

Nice.

-Well, that's not all, is it?

-She can't expect is to share just one fish.

Did you miss the word "share?"

Kowalski, I thought your big new noggin

was going to prevent these kinds of shenanigans?

-Did your cold fusion beverage chiller go wrong again?

-No, it worked perfectly.

Along with the nuclear powered bagel toaster,

the positronic tongue cleaner, and the subatomic nail trimmer.

-So this was--

-The ultrasonic air wax recycler.

-Oh.

-I don't understand it.

My calculations were flawless.

I-- oh, oh-- forgot to convert from metric.

Then how-- how did I make such a stupid mistake?

With my heightened-- you know, intelligence

stuff I should be more gooder at the thinky thing.

-Um, Kowalski--

-Huh.

That sounded kind of not so smarter-y.

You don't suppose that who's-a-ding-it thing I did

with my brain was just tempor-- temp-- ta-top-- tata-- tata--

-Temporary?

-Uh huh!

That one.

I peanuts and I like butter.

But I do not like peanut butter.

Weird.

-Something's gone horribly wrong with Kowalski's brain.

Private, until we resolve this, you're my new options guy.

-Aw, man.

-Yay!

-Now, how do we fix Kowalski?

Options?

-Oh, um, uh, ask Kowalski?

-Rico, you're my new options man.

How do we fix Kowalski?

-Bing!

-Fine.

We go with the private's plan.

Kowalski, concentrate real hard.

How do we help you?

-Eggs are egg shaped.

Ha, ha.

That's funny.

-Oh, boy.

-So we're stuck with a stupid Kowalski.

Well, maybe it's a good thing.

I mean, we were all getting tired of his big, highfalutin

words like recalcitrant, right?

I mean, what is that?

Recalcitrant.

Do I look recalcitrant to you?

-Mm-hmm.

-Oh, yeah.

Up high.

-But Skipper--

-No buts, Private.

I've had it with your buts.

[SNICKERING]

-Butts.

-Let's concentrate on what we can fix,

starting with our grub situation.

Operation Fish Fry is a-- how did you even manage that?

-Can't hear you.

Toilet stick on face.

-Seafood truck approaching.

-Check.

I see it too.

I want those tyres flatter than a flounder.

-Right.

Employing thumbtacks.

Um, anyone seen the thumbtacks?

-Um, hey.

-Hm?

Oh.

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

-Truck in position.

-Well done, men.

Last chance.

Private, distract the driver.

Rico, neutralise the lock.

Kowalski-- you keep doing whatever it is you're doing,

I guess.

-Aye, aye, Skipper.

-You think you're so smart.

-Boys, do you smell what I smell?

This situation is not sustainable.

-Yes, I want the old Kowalski back.

-Huh?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that too.

I was talking about our lack of lunch.

[STOMACH GROWLING]

-It's that blasted feed system, squeezing

the ever loving life out of us.

I'm wasting away to nothing.

-Now now, Skipper.

Not quite.

I mean, you've still got a bit of spare tyre, don't you?

And some, uh, some more on top of-- gosh, you're thin.

-We've got to slap that contraption into shape.

-Yay!

A mission--

[SPLASH]

KOWALSKI: Help!

I forgot how to swim.

-You're an aquatic bird, Kowalski.

-I'm a beaver?

-Rico, go diving for dummies.

I want a bungle-free operation.

Uh, Kowalski, you're on line duty.

I want you to follow this line.

Now don't stop until you reach the end.

Do you comprende?

Do you understand-e?

-I'm on it, Skipper.

Follow the line.

Follow the line.

Follow the line.

Follow the line.

Follow the line.

Follow the line.

Follow the line.

Follow the-- whoa!

Eek!

I've lost the line.

Where is the line?

-You just crossed it, buddy boy.

-One fish.

Ridiculous.

Let's slap a zero on that bad boy.

-10 fish?

Well done, Skipper.

-Good.

But it's missing a little something.

Oh, I know.

-Yay.

-A hundred.

-You've just got to let these computers know who's boss.

-I was in a tree.

Listen to me computer.

I am the boss.

Hey, guys.

I added 11-teen zeros.

I--

[SCREAMING]

-No, no.

I do not want penguin for lunch.

Gives me the gases.

Perhaps another water bird.

Er, is the beaver fresh today?

-Nothing personal.

You understand.

-Line!

I found you.

-Ah, boys.

It won't be long before we're hip deep in halibut.

KOWALSKI: Uh, Skipper?

i lost the line for a while, but I found it again.

Ow.

Hey!

It's raining fish on my head.

-Skipper, I think that might be more than 100 fish.

-Help!

I-- forgot how to swim-- in fish.

-Kowalski!

-Hm.

Fish?

Yep, that's fish.

Mm.

I like fish.

They taste nommy.

And they have googly eyes.

And they travel in schools-- schools.

That's because they're so smart.

No.

That's not right.

Fish are stupid, but-- eureka!

Oh, the brain is back, baby!

-Kowalski, are you smart again?

-Or at least less stupid?

-Do alkaline earth metals have plus two charge?

-He's back.

-But how did you restore your beautiful mind?

-Fish, our brain food.

-Brain food?

-Yes.

You see, fish are rich in omega-3 fatty acids,

like eicosapentaenoic acid, and it's

brainy buddy docosahexaenoic acid.

-Boring.

-Ah, it sure is nice to have the old Kowalski back.

[EXPLOSION]

-It sure is, young Private.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]