Original subtitles

[MUSIC PLAYING]

ANNOUNCER: And now DreamWorks' "The Penguins of Madagascar."

[THEME MUSIC]

-Hit it!

[THEME MUSIC]

-Cute and cuddly, boys.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[ALARM RINGING]

-Skipper, we're picking up an outgoing airborne target.

-It's on a north by southwest heading.

Air speed-- two and a half knots.

-Altitude is four metres and climbing fast.

Five metres, six metres--

-Private, you know I feel about the metric system.

We go with feet and inches.

-Identifying target now.

It looks like we have another runaway red

on our hands, Skipper.

-Why is it always the red ones?

-My balloon!

[CRYING]

-On my mark-- now!

-Huh?

BOTH: Yeah!

-Gentlemen, today's operation was a success.

[CHEERING]

-However, I have to ask, are we ready for the big one?

-The big one?

-El grande enchilada.

-Yum.

-Not the eating kind of enchilada-- the "in your face,

knock you on your posterior" kind of enchilada.

-So it's not actually food?

-Kowalski, we don't know what it actually is.

-Then how can we know if we're ready for it?

-Well, that's what today's all about.

-The big one's today?

-Affirmative.

The big one is coming today around 4:00-ish.

Fortunately, I have spent months preparing for the big one.

And when my plan was complete, I knew what I had to do.

The plan was secured in a lockbox.

And under the cover of darkness, I chose a top secret location,

at which I buried the top secret plan-- a remote area of the zoo

where no human or animal ever goes.

-Until, of course, they complete construction

of the new children's zoo.

SKIPPER: What?

-That's where the children's zoo is going to be.

Groundbreaking is today.

-Blast!

-We only have four hours until the big one.

-We need those plans.

-Perhaps a diversion.

-Oh, it's "Live at Five" Chuck Charles from the telly.

-We're here live at the Central Park Zoo

for the groundbreaking of the new children's zoo.

-There's our diversion.

I'm going in.

-You think Skipper needs back up?

-Our Skipper?

-Pfft.

[CRASHING]

-Skipper?

-Awaiting orders.

-Oh, boy.

-We must get him out of there.

What should we do?

-Commence Operation Get Skipper Out of the Locked Van.

-The name needs work.

But let's do it!

-Ooh!

-What was that?

You were supposed to catch me.

-No, we were supposed to pick the lock.

[MUMBLING]

[CRASHING]

[GROANING]

-Skipper!

-OK, who hid my hairspray?

Hey!

What happened in here?

[GROANING]

-Are you all right, Skipper?

-Hey, get out of my shot.

This is Chuck Charles with your late-breaking local news.

-Is-- is he talking to the wall?

-Something horrible happened inside that news van.

-I wonder.

Theoretically, it's possible that the electrical receptors

inside Skipper's brain picked up the signals from that van

and reprogrammed his functional sensors to mimic the patterns

of behaviour shown on the broadcasts.

-You mean--

-Yes, I think we can safely say that Skipper

is stricken with anchor-manesia.

-I'm Chuck Charles.

And we're your "Live at Five" news team--

Gil Force with weather, Scooter Alvarez on sports,

and as always, my co-anchor, Bonnie Chang.

-Bonnie Chang?

-But the big one is coming.

We still need those plans.

And even if we get the plans, we still

need Skipper to be Skipper.

-All right, I will randomly combine liquids

and powders until I find a cure.

This could take a while.

-I'm with the "Live at Five" news team here on the scene.

-You are a penguin.

-How's that weekend forecast, Gil?

-I'm Private.

Look, I waddle.

And you waddle too because you're a--

-Chuck Charles.

And I know the news.

-Look!

Penguins swim.

-Well, Gil, looks like another wet--

--[COUGHING], and that's the news.

[SIGHING]

-Status report?

-Still Chuck Charles.

-And the anchor-manesia cure is a bit behind schedule.

[BELL CHIMING]

-We-- we only have one hour.

-Yeah, I need at least 7,000 years.

[MUMBLING]

-Don't worry, Rico, Skipper's-- gone?

-Here's your "Live at Five" exclusive interview with--

-King Julien, yes.

But you can call me King Julien.

-Do you have any comment about the rumours?

-Eh, what rumours?

-Oh, don't play coy.

We all know what they're saying about your royal family.

-Lies!

All lies!

This interview over.

-And we're out.

Fantastic interview.

-Well, thank you.

Care for some fruit?

It is tasty and nice, except maybe the grapes.

I'm not 100% on those.

-Could your grapes be poisoning you?

Find out at 5:00.

And we're out.

-Ooh!

News I can use.

-Let's not be running off.

SKIPPER: Chuck Charles has the--

-The technical term for our situation is done-sky.

-Bonnie, are you doing something different with your hair?

I like it.

-Skipper would want us to go get those plans.

-But how can we do that when Skipper--

-Now over to Scooter Alvarez with the highlights

and the lowlights.

-I am not Scooter Alvarez!

I don't even know what a Scooter Alvarez is!

-OK, we're just gonna have to-- to do it without him.

-But--

-I know.

But what choice do we have?

Skipper would want us to carry on without him.

-Keep an eye on Scooter.

He's not quite himself today.

-Uh, no, I'm here with those scores or my name's

not Scooter Alvarado.

-Alvarez.

-Exactly.

-OK.

Uh, we're gonna go out for a while, Chuck.

Um, so you just stay here in the studio.

-According to the map, we should be digging over there.

-With all this construction, there are too many witnesses.

-Must think.

-What would Skipper do?

-Precariously perch himself high atop the crane?

-I don't see how that would help.

-Oh, it won't, but that is what Skipper's doing.

-This is your "Live at Five" eye in the sky.

[SIGHING]

-He is not making this easy.

-Easy?

Was it easy for Manfredi and Johnson

when that undersea escape tunnel turned out

to be the business end of a beluga whale?

They couldn't even speak for a month.

-And even then, it was gibberish.

-So if this is gonna be hard, that's fine with me.

-Yeah.

-Let's do this thing-- and all other things required of us.

-Hi-ya!

-Can you describe to the folks at home

how you're feeling right now?

[GROANING]

-You heard it here first.

This is Chuck Charles reporting.

-Do I connect the red one to the blue one or the blue one

to the red one?

-I dunno.

-That's the sort of thing Skipper would normally decide.

-Now be honest with me.

Do you like my good side or my even better side?

-But there isn't anything normal about this.

-Perhaps if I bypass-- whoa!

-Stop!

I see the plans!

Come on!

We have to hurry!

[COUGHING]

-Got it!

-Yes!

-Yes!

Yes!

What did we do?

-How should I know who moved the dozer?

-Our top story, Chuck Charles and the news team

get buried alive.

-Well, at least we saved the top secret plans.

-Although it might have been preferable to not

be buried alive with them.

[MUMBLING]

-Yes, Rico, it is just about 4:00-ish.

-Then we'd better check out Skipper's top secret plan.

[COUGHING]

-What?

SKIPPER (VOICEOVER): Is the team ready for the big one?

We shall see.

-Afraid not.

-But what is it?

Some sort of natural disaster?

SKIPPER (VOICEOVER): You might think

it might be some sort of natural disaster, but you'd be wrong.

No, the big one is the greatest challenge of all.

What happens if one member of the team is out?

What if we didn't have young Private's heart, Kowalski's

brains, or Rico's appetite for reckless destruction?

-I dunno.

-Oh.

I suppose that would be bad.

-Or what if the team leader were inexplicably

acting like a pompous anchorman?

-What if-- indeed?

-Yes, what if-- ooh!

-Hang on.

You were faking it!

-Bingo.

-It was all a test?

-And the team came through.

Huzzah!

-We're ready for the big one!

-Yes, we are.

We are also running out of oxygen.

-What?

-Kowalski, give me options.

-Rico sets an explosive charge under this,

blasting it straight up through the dirt and rock.

-And we all hang onto it.

-Ooh, says like a wild ride.

Rico.

[COUGHING]

[EXPLODING]

-I don't get how a bulldozer just turns on by itself.

-Woo-hoo!

-We did it!

-We kicked big one's butt.

-And we're out!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Maurice, this smoothie is the yuck.

Make me a better one.

-You got it, your Majesty.

I'll make you a better one.

[SNICKERING]

[SLURPING]

-Mm.

Now that is a smoothie I can call groovy.

-That's cause of the secret ingredient.

-It's the same smoothie just grosser.

-Got you, Maurice.

-I just don't feel right about this.

-Shh!

-(SINGING) Made a mistake when you messed with me.

Should've known better and let it be!

Making dumb choices is one of your flaws!

So look out, baby, here come the claws!

Yeah!

Here comes the claws!

Yeah-hoo!

Here comes the claws!

-Embarrassing, Marlene.

Quite embarrassing.

-I still don't feel right--

-Shh, shh, shh.

[SNORING]

[MUMBLING]

-OK, Mr. Bunny, time to make night-night.

[MUMBLING]

-Bingy likes his bunny, eh?

Interesting.

-I just don't feel--

-Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Shh!

Gentlemen, Operation Sneaky Peek is a success.

-We now have sensitive intel on every animal in the zoo.

-But, Skipper, aren't the animals are friends?

-Young Private, a friend is just an enemy

who hasn't attacked yet.

-That's not very friendly thinking.

-I know!

Why are they attacking us?

-This collection of sordid secrets

guarantees that we'll have the upper flipper when they do.

-Still, holding these secrets is an awesome responsibility.

If any were to leak, it would be chaos.

That's why I'm classifying Operation Sneaky Peek

tip-top tippy-top top-top secret.

-Oh!

-Wow.

-That's even more secret-y than your delicious monkfish

surprise recipe.

-Exactly.

So if anyone asks, you didn't see anything.

[KNOCKING]

KOWALSKI: Uh, Skipper?

-One and two and three and four and-- Private,

put a little hustle in your muscle.

-Sorry, Skipper.

Didn't sleep well last night.

I kept thinking about Operation Sn--

-Private, those words must never be spoken aloud.

-Sorry.

-Tell you what.

Skip the callisthenics and go get yourself some chow.

-Aye, aye, Skipper.

-Tenderhearted tenderfoot.

Kowalski, make a note to ring that tenderness right out

of him.

-Aye, Skipper.

[SIGHING]

-Hm.

Needs a little something.

Hot sauce!

Perfect!

That ought to give these sardines a little kick.

-Mm, not bad.

-Good workout, men.

-Tesla's coil!

[GROANING]

-Please, tell me you didn't consume

the contents of this bottle.

-I did.

The hot sauce was very tasty.

-This wasn't hot sauce.

It was truth serum.

-You put truth serum in a hot sauce bottle?

-Pfft, of course.

-Hot sauce is truth serum.

Grape jelly is sleeping gas.

And ketchup is amnesia mist.

Where was I?

-And what's mustard?

-Well, it's a tangy condiment you put on your hot dog.

-Mm, sounds delicious.

-Point is, for the next few hours,

Private will be unable to do anything

but tell the truth, the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth.

Observe.

Private, do you honestly like Skipper's monkfish surprise?

-No, it tastes like elephant sweat.

But everyone pretends to like it to spare Skipper's fragile ego.

-My whole life is a lie!

-So we've established the effectiveness

of the truth serum.

-OK, OK, this wont' be a problem.

I mean, it's not like we have anything to hide, right?

[CLEARING THROAT]

-Oh, yeah.

ANIMAL: Help!

-A desperate cry for help.

Roll out, men.

Private, mum's the word.

-OK, Skipper.

-I don't know how he got in there,

but if we don't get him out soon, he'll be buried alive.

-Help!

Yum.

I am, mm, trapped!

-Ladder formation on three.

Uno, dos, three!

[LAUGHING]

-I'm free!

[CHEERING]

-Yay!

-Oh, thank you, penguins.

I was really getting worried about the pop-ity-corn!

-Sure, happy to help.

Now if you'll excuse us.

-Why the rush?

Stay.

Celebrate.

-No can do.

Big fish to fry.

-Come on.

What are you actually afraid you're gonna have some fun?

-No, Marlene, Skipper's afraid I'll

tell everyone your embarrassing secret.

-Secret?

What-- what secret?

How did--

-That you fancy yourself a pop superstar and perform

imaginary concerts every night.

-How do you guys know about that?

Have you been spying on me?

-Muffle the blabbermouth.

-No, Marlene, we haven't been spying on you.

We've been spying on everyone.

[GASPING]

-We know all your secrets.

Bing sucks his thumb.

Phil cheats at chess.

The spider monkeys aren't even half spider.

-Ooh, these are very embarrassing secrets

we are hearing.

-Julien picks his nose.

-Ahh!

My secret gold digging shame exposed!

-Get him!

-Mason is really Canadian.

Burt has a--

-Oh, no, you don't.

I don't want anybody knowing about that tattoo.

I was young and foolish.

And-- hey!

-Look, tell anybody about my Tijuana vacation,

and I swear, buddy boy, I'll stomp you into paste.

-Kowalski, secure the Private!

-Aye, Skipper.

-Here he is.

And there he goes.

-Speak to me the most juiciest of the gossips.

-Mort loves you just for your feet.

-It's true!

It's so true!

-Well, duh.

Come on, more with the spilling.

And Maurice secretly--

-OK.

Thanks for coming.

Bye.

-What was he going to say, Maurice?

-That secretly I, uh, think you're

the greatest king that ever lived.

-Pfft!

Maurice, that is no secret.

-Rico, about face.

-OK.

So all I want to know is, do you know about the--

-Yes.

-And how I like to--

-Yes. -With the--

-Yes.

-You know what?

Not cool, guys.

No, not cool at all.

Friends don't spy on friends.

I am so embarrassed.

-If you think that's embarrassing,

you should see what Kowalski does

when he thinks no one's watching.

-Rico, floor it.

[SCREECHING]

Not in reverse.

[SCREECHING]

-Well, should be smooth sailing from here.

-Whoa!

[ROARING]

Bail out, men.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

-Kowalski, status on the angry mob.

KOWALSKI: Mob still there.

Mob still angry.

-Oh.

Hello.

What's all this then?

-Private, welcome back from la-la land.

-Um, thanks.

Was I gone?

SKIPPER: Yep.

You accidentally spilled the beans on Operation Sneaky Peek.

-Oh, yes, I remember.

Sorry, Skipper.

-Not to worry, Private.

We'll just stay safely locked up in here

until this whole thing is--

-You penguins are gonna pay for violating out

inalienable rights of privacy and whatnot.

-Oh, what am I supposed to do now?

What's this?

Amnesia spray-- fantastic.

What's this?

Amnesia spray, fantastic.

What's this?

Amnesia spray-- fantastic.

-Hey, should I sit on them individually?

Or do I go for the group squish?

-Why drag it out?

I say one and done.

-Kowalski, options?

-Get fresh air while you can.

[GASPING]

-OK, here we go.

I'm dropping booty.

-No!

-Hey, what's that?

You hear something?

PRIVATE: Forget!

-I hear it too.

-Forget, everybody!

Forget!

-What-- am I doing?

-I'm feeling a little discombobulated here.

-Ooh, I'm kind-- kinda dizzy myself.

I'm gonna sit down right here.

[GROANING]

-What have we done to deserve this?

-Watch where you park that thing, pachyderm.

-Sorry, didn't see you there.

-What are we doing here?

-I dunno.

-I can't remember.

-I remember.

It is a party.

A party for me.

A me-esta, if you will.

-A you-esta!

Ole!

-Now where are my gifts?

Present me with the presents already.

[SIGHING]

-You know, it's weird.

I can't remember a thing from the last week.

-If it was worth remembering, we'd remember it.

-Rico, might I have a stick of TNT?

-Yup.

KOWALSKI: Thanks.

[EXPLODING]

-Private, what was that?

-Nothing, Skipper.

Just my little secret.

[GIGGLING]

[THEME MUSIC]