Original subtitles

NARRATOR: And now, DreamWorks, The Penguins of Madagascar.

[BELL RINGING]

-(SINGING) Hit it!

Eh, oh-- Eh, oh-- Yeah!

-Cute and cuddly, boys.

-[YAWN]

Aw.

Aah!

No, stop, wait!

-Relax, Marlene.

We've had that nest staked out for a Humpty Dumpty scenario

since the first day of spring.

This is all the king's horses, calling all the king's men.

-We read you, Skipper.

Loud and clear.

-So, let me get this straight.

You guys have been watching that one

nest since the beginning of spring?

-Don't be ridiculous, Marlene.

We've been watching all of them.

Where I come from, we have a little saying--

there's only one way to do the job, my way-- the right way.

-Ta-DA!

[BEEPING]

-Private, reduce air speed.

You're coming in too hot.

-Whoa!

I can't!

-No!

He's heading right for the central water main.

--[GRUNTING] Did I make it back in time for tea?

-Rico, plug that up before it starts drawing attention.

-I'm afraid it's too late for that, Skipper.

ALICE: Yeah, looks like a rupture of the central main.

Yeah, the penguin exhibit.

We'll need to tear up the whole thing

to get at the damaged pipe.

-Ooh, what about your secret underground HQ thing?

If they dig up the habitat, won't they find--

-Not on my watch, sister.

-So, we're definitely going to have to call in a specialist

to-- What's that?

You're sending over Gus?

The Gus?

Well yeah, of course I feel better now.

Gus?

That's all you had to say.

-Gus?

-Who's this Gus?

KOWALSKI: His name is Gustav "Gus" Babuskha, age 49,

born in Saint Petersburg-- Russia, not Florida.

ALICE: So what do you think?

GUS: Me and the boys will have to tunnel

about four metres straight down.

-Great.

How soon can your crew get here?

-No, you misunderstand.

The boys are already here.

Meet the left one, and the right one.

We get started first thing in morning.

KOWALSKI: Apparently, this Gus won the silver medal

in power lifting at the 1979 Pan Asian Games.

-Silver?

Loser.

Anything else?

-He eats the same sandwich for lunch every day, liverwurst.

-Liverwurst.

That's all I needed to know.

MARLENE: Liverwurst?

That's how you're going to stop Gus from doing this job?

-Of course not.

We're going to do it for him.

-Whoa!

-Rico-- are we good to go?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Let's move boys, we've got work to do.

Oh, Marlene, you don't mind if we

use your place as temporary HQ, do you?

-No, hey, really-- no, make yourselves at home.

-That's dandy.

You won't even know we're here.

Rico, dive!

-Hello.

-Hmm, is very strange, like itsy bitsy elves came in night

and [RASPBERRY] did entire job for us.

-Well wait-- but isn't that going

to seem a little suspicious?

I mean, won't that Gus guy say something?

-I doubt it.

Not when he sees the little gift we left for him.

-And what is this?

A liverwurst sandwich?

-It's simple human psychology, Marlene.

-Humans are, by nature, lazy bums.

-They love it when itsy bitsy elves do their work.

-Amazing work, Gus.

I suppose I'm going to have to give you

a little bonus for finishing the job so fast.

-(SPEAKING RUSSIAN), no.

-Huh?

-I cannot accept this money, or this sandwich.

-But what's the problem?

-Yeah, what's the problem?

-Back in Murmansk we have saying,

there is only one way to do job-- the right way.

Me and my boys will come back tomorrow

and do the whole thing over.

On second thought, I will accept sandwich.

My boys need their strength.

KOWALSKI: This shows Gus's digging progress thus far.

f he continues at his current trajectory,

he'll miss hitting the underground

command centre entirely.

-OK, so that's good, right?

-Well, not really, no.

It means that he's heading right down towards this yellow zone,

over here.

-But-- but that means he'll breach our top-secret

anti-matter fusion reactor core.

-Wait, wait-- guys have a top-secret

anti-matter fusion what's-it down there?

-Why no, I-- Why do you ask?

-[BURPING]

-OK, what happens if he breaches this top-secret reactor

core, that you don't have.

-Nobody knows for certain.

It's all abstract theoretical physics.

I could outline the basic best and worst case scenarios.

-Sure, let's hear them.

-OK, rupturing the lining of the reactor chamber

could theoretically trigger a subatomic explosion so intense

that it would rip open the very fabric of time and space.

-Wow, that's-- ooh.

OK, and what's the best case scenario?

-Well, that.

That was it.

-Did you hear that guy?

There's only one way to do a job, the right way.

I mean, who talks like that?

-It does sound vaguely familiar.

-That Gus character is arrogant, stubborn,

pig-headed-- it's like-- like--

-Like looking in a mirror?

-You take that back, Marlene.

Skipper here's a thousand times more pig-headed and stubborn

than that Gus character will ever be.

-Well, thank you, Private.

Starting tomorrow, I'm going to prove it.

Right, let's see tough comrade Gustav

and his boys are without any heavy equipment.

-Well, I guess that's it, boys.

We'll do it like back in the old country-- with shovel.

-OK, not a problem.

Rico?

[SAWING NOISE]

-Huh?

No!

Not that one.

Well boys, nothing we can do now.

Except, do the job with our bare hands!

Hi-yah!

-Gentlemen, the time has come for more extreme measures.

We're going to start off with an appetiser, auditory assault.

[LOUD MUSIC]

-My ears!

I hate this!

SKIPPER: If that doesn't work, we'll

serve up a hot main course.

GUS: (SINGING) Hard work and pay not good.

SKIPPER: Combined with a side order of frozen pig head.

GUS: (SINGING) Hard work and pay not good.

SKIPPER: And then just desserts with fire!

Earthquake!

Plague of snakes!

GUS: (SINGING) Hard work and pay not good.

-There's no use.

Gus and his boys are determined to finish the job,

and nothing-- repeat, nothing-- is going to stop them.

-My estimates show that he will break through and reach

the reactor chamber first thing in the morning.

-Does this eye look weird to anyone?

-So, Skipper, um, what are we going to do about Gus?

-Oh, him.

Well, you know he's unstoppable.

-[GRUMBLING]

-I've never seen him like this, either.

-Hey, how about some options?

-Do you have any?

-Not really, no.

-It's time to execute operation Embrace Failure.

Face it, gentleman, this is a game we cannot win.

And if you can't win the game, you just

have to change the playing field.

Come on, men!

We've got work to do!

-Oh, no!

It's all over.

Gus is going to hit the top-secret reactor

core thingy any second now.

Take cover!

Run for your lives!

Oh, I can't watch.

Wait, what?

We were-- I-- There-- There is nothing down there!

-You see, boys, this is the only way to do job.

The right way.

Come on, liverwurst is on me.

-I don't get it.

I mean, what happened to their whole underground--

you know, the thing ripping open?

And time and space?

How could they have possibly-- Wha--

-Oof!

[GRUNTING] Maurice, why is reality confusing me?

-Wha-- Oh!

The whole thing's a fake.

-It's even better than the real--

SKIPPER: Come on, people.

Let's move with a purpose.

-But how on earth did-- I mean, what--

-It's quite simple, Marlene.

We built a duplicate of the entire zoo overnight.

KOWALSKI: When Gus and the work crew arrived this morning,

we simply diverted them into the decoy zoo.

PRIVATE: Where we let him finish the repairs on what he thought

was the real penguin habitat.

-This is the only way to do is job-- the right way.

-And you call this simple?

-I call it getting the job done the only way we

know how-- the right way, my way.

-37 nights without a single gimme gimme star.

Do you think the sky spirits have become angry?

Probably for something Mort did.

-I am sorry, sky spirits, for the thing

I did that I don't know what it was that made you angry.

Was it the you know what in Maurice's oatmeal?

-You you know what-- say what?

-Dear burglary victims, congratulations,

you have just been robbed by the greatest criminal genius

of our time-- the amazing Cecil, and his associate--

[ALARM]

-Brick.

-Sorry.

-Just get the necklace.

-Oh, there!

I see a gimme gimme star!

Quick, Maurice, say the magic lines!

Say it, say it!

-Star big, star brown, from the haze of this stinky town,

I wish you may, if you know how--

-Gimme, gimme, now!

Now!

Now!

[SIRENS]

The sky spirits must be gimme-ing something big.

Maurice, fetch me a stuff bucket.

-Lose the evidence, Brick.

-But we just got it.

-Trust me!

Lose the evidence!

-OK, anytime now sky spirits.

-Look, the gimme star is falling.

-Doesn't look like a star.

-Maurice?

Did you see what the sky spirits gimme-ed me?

Could I be loving this anymore?

Wait, wait-- loving it a little more now.

And-- there!

Maximum loving it!

[YAWN]

VOICE ON TV: This is the morning action news--

-Make a note for the Skipper's log.

No more movie marathons.

I need this unit bright-eyed and bushy-- [YELLS].

-Oh, hello.

-Ring Tail, explain this unauthorised breech.

-If by breech you mean brooch, and by that

you mean neck decoration, then oh, oh, oh!

Yes, look, I am wearing a new royal shiny thing.

How envious you must be.

-What is this sparkly monstrosity?

-It appears to be an allotrope of carbon, formed

by incredible pressure and intense temperature.

-Again, 20% less brainiac.

-A girl's best friend.

-Pepper spray?

-A unicorn?

-Me? [PURRING]

-Diamonds.

It's a diamond necklace.

-Why is pricey jewellery hanging around Ring Tail's neck?

-Because the sky spirits gave it to me

for kicking up the fabulous, baby!

I've got to go look at myself again.

PRIVATE: Skipper.

VOICE ON TV: One item was stolen-- the imperial diamond

necklace, valued at over $2 million.

-T-t-two m-m-m-million dollars?

-I'm not yet staggered.

Give it to me in canned fish.

-Over 16.4 million anchovies.

-Too-hoo!

-That's a lot of anchovies.

-[DROOLING]

-Yes, the kind of riches that turn men into animals,

and animals into-- Kowalski, what's

more savage than animals?

-Malfunctioning garbage disposals?

-Come on, you're not even trying.

CECIL: Voila.

Now it is but a quick search of habitats to find our diamonds.

And Brick, no need to be gentle.

-Dazzling contest!

Who's the winner?

-Let me guess-- you?

-Oh, Mort, I don't know what to say.

But you are right, yes.

-[GRUMBLING]

-Oh, so handsome.

I must stop before I fall in love.

-Ha ha ha, tail.

Ow!

VOICE ON TV: Police are searching for two suspects,

seen here in surveillance footage.

-That's the hat slap of a professional criminal.

-Ooh, do you think they'll come looking for the necklace?

-I think I can answer that.

Yes, here, now, really.

-Then Julien is going to be in danger.

We have to help him.

-Yes, right after Gil Force gives us the weather.

-Skipper!

-All right, all right.

I just wanted to see if I needed an umbrella.

--[KISSING SOUND] The new royal jewels bring out

my sparkly eyes, don't you think?

-Now we are both sparkly.

Hee hee hee!

-Get off me!

None must ever come between the king and his neck decoration!

Or neckoration, as I like to call it.

-Lower primate-- lose the ice!

-Maurice, the penguins have gone jealous crazy.

Defend the royal shininess and he who wears it!

-You don't seem to comprende, there are two bad eggs looking

for that necklace, and they ain't asking nicely.

-Hey, come on, cut it out!

That's not funny.

-Just squeeze it out, Brick, like toothpaste.

-Like what?

-Like a tube of cookie dough.

-Now what?

Can't go five minutes in this zoo-- [BLOWS WHISTLE]

-Those hoods are going to turn you

into a coat to go with that necklace.

-That's exactly what I would be saying,

if I wanted to steal the shiny from you.

Except I'd be more creative-- maybe diamond-loving

mutants with teeth for eyes.

Ooh, I just freaked myself out.

-Yes, clearly reason is wasted on the reasonless.

-Well, time for plan B.

-B, for better be backing off buddy?

-B for begin beatings-- belligerently.

-Look, there are only three rules at

this zoo-- don't feed the animals,

don't touch the animals, and don't ask me stupid questions.

-Um, why not?

-Oh, now we're breaking rules two and three, huh?

Move it, hot shots.

-Are you really prepared to engage in hand-to-hand combat

with a highly trained battalion, one of whom

is afflicted with a terrible thirst for mindless violence?

-You call that mindless?

Check out our guy.

-I artichoked a ukulele hamster.

-Eh-- engage.

-Hey!

Oh!

-Give me that necklace!

-Cecil, look!

-Penguins?

ALICE: And stay out, losers!

-What are we going to do, Cecil?

-Well, it's simple.

We come back tonight, rip our necklace

right back from those filthy birds!

-You got a genius plan, then?

-Yeah, no, it's a great question, Brick.

Why waste my genius on a flock of dumb animals?

-Ooh, la la.

-It is rather lovely.

So when do we return it to the jewellery store?

-ASAP.

I don't need two low-read hooligans

all up in our top-secret grill.

-Uh, Skipper?

It may be too late.

I took the liberty of reviewing the zoo's security

footage on our larsoness duel.

Observe.

A poem for Doris, the dolphin.

We slam as one, I touched your gentle flipper--

you wanted someone hipper.

[CRYING]

Sorry, wrong footage.

-We come back tonight, rip our necklace

right back from those filthy birds!

Why waste my genius on a flock of dumb animals?

-Dumb animals?

Private, hold on to that necklace.

If those punks are inviting themselves to the pony show,

we're going to give them a real ride.

To gaol?

ALL: Oh.

CECIL: OK, no pull me up.

Ah!

You're a very strong man, Brick.

SKIPPER: OK, Ric, you're on.

-Like I said, dumb animals.

SKIPPER: Bogey's on your tail.

Bring him home.

JULIEN: Yes, the bling is mine, baby!

-Ring Tail!

-Did you miss me?

I missed you.

Have I told you lately that you complete me?

-This isn't a game, man.

Those humans will lay some serious hurt on you.

-Yes, but first, they would have to catch me.

I am seeing your point-- and my childhood.

-I know that dumb animals like shiny things.

But this one is mine.

-Private, Rico, double down.

You wanty?

Go getty.

-No!

-Uh, Cecil?

-Allow me.

-Huh?

[GRUNTING]

-Bye bye.

-Brick, Brick, over here, Brick.

-Huh?

-I want my necklace!

Look, a dead-end.

-Rico, I believe we need an exit.

-What the-- How did--

-Hey, you know, Brick, who cares?

I want my diamonds!

-I got it, Cecil.

I got the necklace.

[ALARM RINGING]

-No!

Let me out.

Let me out!