Original subtitles

And this is the other thing

that you got really wrong, okay?

'Cause you're up there just snapping motherfuckers' necks

like it's nothing.

Killing somebody is hard work.

That first one,

I didn't even know what I was doing yet.

But in that split second, in my little spa basement,

staring into that man's eyes,

everything turns.

And we both know very, very clearly...

...that one of us is gonna have to die.

Oh, fuck!

So, I got to find the jugular, right?

'Cause choking's the breathing,

but strangulation is blood flow to the brain.

That's way faster.

Tabitha taught me that, too.

Oh, shit.

He thinks he can win this.

You think you're gonna fucking win this?

That's right.

That's right, motherfucker.

Like a pathetic little animal.

But I'm Dolores motherfucking Roach!

And I never had a shot, but I will be

the last goddamn one in the room,

and not you or any fucking body else

is ever gonna take anything away from me,

ever again.

Ever again!

Hey, wow, this is really a good quality table,

holding up two people like this, with all this rocking and...

Mr. Pearlman?

Mr. Pearlman?

Mr. Pearlman?

Mmm. This candle.

I almost want to light another one, but, like,

I don't want to be too indulgent, you know?

Why did he make me do that?

Why'd he make me do that?

Why'd you make me do that?

Why'd you make me do it?

Oh...

Come on, you...

Oh, God. What am I gonna do?

Yeah, yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yo, bro, one more thing.

Where'd he go?

What? He... I-I... He fell asleep.

Uh, when I was giving him a massage.

No, no, don't go down there!

Uh, the step broke,

so I don't want you to get hurt, um...

Um, so I'm gonna go to the store and buy some wood. Okay?

- Dolores. Dolores. - What?

- Uh, yeah? - Come here.

Is everything okay in there?

Yeah, the situation is all good.

Because Luis gonna get himself evicted, or even worse...

I know, I agree, but it's handled,

it's over, you have a good night.

Dolores!

What have I done? What the fuck have I done?

Goddamn it.

I got so many friends inside

who'd know what to do with a body.

All right. I'm gonna wrap him up,

I'm gonna bring him over to the river.

'Cause that's what the river's there for, right?

Shit. Maybe I got to cut him up first?

I never did this before.

Or do I have to dissolve him?

Him or me. Survival of the fittest.

It was gonna be him or me.

♪ Come on, get together ♪

♪ Come on, get together ♪

♪ Oh, people round the world ♪

♪ Let's get together ♪

♪ Get together ♪

♪ All we need is peace and love ♪

♪ Through any kind of weather ♪

♪ Kind of weather ♪

♪ It don't matter if you're white...

I'm gonna take this, too.

Mm-hmm.

And-and...

the balloons, all those balloons.

- These? - Yeah, all of them.

Yeah, because it's,

it's like a... It's for my super.

- Mmm. - It's a present.

- It's all a present. - You paint?

- I do what? What? - Paint. Your hands.

Oh. Uh, yeah, that's... I do, I-I paint.

I do paint, yeah.

Fuck, I forgot gloves.

Luis has gloves.

My nephew loves to paint.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

I got him some watercolors.

- But he thought it was candy. - Mm-hmm.

He's five, but watercolors,

they're not that toxic for humans.

- No? - So, he was fine.

- Uh-huh. - Even though

he kept on putting the brush in his mouth.

- Wow. - But...

- he's really creative. - Mm-hmm.

- Look, I got to show you, I... - Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Oh.

Ah, mira eso. Yeah.

- Look at this one. - That's nice, yeah.

Oh, I do believe children are our future.

- That's nice, yeah. - Precision.

- That I made. - Oh!

Ah, yeah.

- Really good, yeah. - Artist to artist, eh?

Yeah, yeah.

- That will be $54.12. - Okay.

Here you go... Oop, no. Paint.

Ah, yeah.

I got paint on that one. Yeah.

- Oh, hi, Nellie. - Uh-huh.

I just got some balloons. Oh, I like the stamping.

That's... That's nice.

No. Oh, no, no.

The fuck? No, no.

Oh. No.

No, no, no, no. Did they take him away already?

Fuck. How long was I gone?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Luis?

Luis, did you call the cops on me?

Because it was... it was an accident.

It was an accident.

Or did I make it up?

What's going on?

Where the fuck did he go?

What the fuck did I do?

What the fuck?

What the fuck is happening?

What is happening?

What the fuck's happening?

Did I make it up?

I am not a bad person.

My adrenaline is crashing.

And I sleep like a fucking baby.

Like a stoned-ass baby.

Free samples.

Free samples.

Free samples. Oh, try free samples?

Please try one. Yes.

They're really good.

Free sample. Sir, would you like a free sample?

Free samples.

Free... Oh, thank you, ma'am.

They're really good.

Free samples. Free sample.

Free samples.

Yes, thank you. Please take one.

Free samples. They're really good.

Luis?

Ah...

Where'd he go?

Yo, I told you, mami, I took care of it.

How?

You Catholic, D?

No. No, I'm not.

Hmm. What are you?

I'm not anything, man. My...

My father was born again, my mother was Jewish.

No, no, no, I mean like what-what do you...

- you believe in? - Who cares?

Because in church they used to say that God is nowhere

so that He can be everywhere.

What the fuck are you talking about, Luis?

That's where Gideon Pearlman went.

What did you do with him?

Ah...

Free samples.

Guys, come on and try them. Oh, yes.

Free samples.

Oh, hey, Ms. Linda, you and your husband want some?

Yes. It's called muy loco.

It's gonna make your mouth crazy.

Están muy loco, and make your mouth go whoa-oh.

It's sweet and savory, succulent.

I know you want un poco! Hey, come in here and get you some.

Mmm. I know you really want some.

It's really good, it's our new muy loco.

It'll make your mouth crazy.

Yeah. Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, hey, D, you got to try this.

It's a new empanada exclusive to Empanada Loca,

made with that secret recipe.

- A what? - A secret recipe.

Luis thought it would be a good promotion,

and I think it's, like, kind of working

'cause a lot of people already came in to buy some.

It's called muy loco.

Did Luis tell you what was in those?

Um, I think it's mostly pork.

"Mostly."

I don't know, he said he had to start going through

some new butcher for some reason,

and, like, it gave him this idea,

and he told me to come out,

just remind people we're still here,

that we're still part of the community.

And, you know, we're not just an empanada shop,

but Luis is a misunderstood culinary visionary.

A misunderstood culinary visionary?

Well, at least that's what he told me to say.

Anyway, here, try it.

I don't really have an appetite.

Well, I do.

Mmm! That shit's yummy as fuck.

Oh.

Luis.

Hmm?

What was wrong with your old butcher, Luis?

What?

Nellie said you had to get a new butcher.

I've been making empanadas all my life, Dolores.

And by now, I've tried every kind of weird-ass filling

and flavor combination I could get away with.

Just trying to create something that's special.

You know? Something that's mine.

But you, my Dolores...

...you just changed the game for me.

You have led me to a pantheon

that very few of us who are called to this art

are ever privileged enough to touch.

So, now...

...that greedy son of a bitch

will get chewed up,

shat out and flushed down the toilet,

like the excrement that he is.

All by the same damn people he been trying to snuff out.

It was an accident.

I know, boo.

I know.

Hello?

Dolores?

A customer.

Oh, hey, Joy.

Oh, Luis, I just tried one of your samples.

I've never tasted anything like it.

Oh, you are just so kind. Yeah, don't stop.

No, I mean it, don't stop.

Well, really, really, you are so talented.

What did she call it? Muy loca?

Loco.

Muy loco.

That's so funny.

Um, Dolores.

I wanted to see if you had any free time because my-my shoulder

- is really tight. - Uh, like, right now

I have, like, a nasty headache,

- like really bad. - Oh, that's too bad.

Yeah, unfortunately, but maybe later, though? - Are you...?

I need more samples already.

People are really loving these, Luis.

Well, in that case, Nellie,

I'll buy one of those empanadas.

Oh, no, no, no. Joy, you know

you can have whatever you want... on the house.

No, no, on second thought, let me take you downstairs.

- Oh, but your head. - No, no, no, it went away.

- Really? Are you sure? - I'll keep them warm for you, Joy.

- Yes, please. Yes. - Yeah. Yeah, come on.

- Come on. - All right...

Luis is so creative, isn't he?

Yeah, w-watch your step. It's broken, okay?

Oh, no, look at that. You should really tell your landlord.

Yeah. Yeah, we will.

Oh, did I miss your birthday?

Oh...

Uh, no, I was just, uh...

feeling festive.

Oh, and look at this incredible upgrade.

Yeah.

You're gonna steal all of Bridget's business,

and I love it.

This is impressive, Dolores. Oh.

Things must be going well for you two.

They're going.

Second person on my table.

You're such a cute couple.

So, uh, tell me, how is...?

Why don't you undress to the level of your comfort?

I'm just gonna, um...

I'm just gonna wash my hands.

Do you need a hand with...?

No, no. No.

Inside, they told us how Jesus even loves

thieves and rapists and murderers.

So the girls would play a game with the chaplain,

trying to call out sins that were unforgivable.

I think I finally found one.

Are you okay in there?

Yeah, I'm okay.

I am very not okay.

Okay, Joy.

Let's see what happens.

Are you, um... Are you feeling all right?

Yeah. Yeah. Yep.

- Is it morning sickness? - No, no.

Shh. Relax.

Take a deep breath.

Take a deep breath.

I am a good person.

I am.

You have such a gift, my friend.

It feels so much better already.

Oh, magic hands.

It was gonna be him or it was gonna be me.

And it'll never happen again.

Ever again.

Good night.

Ooh.

Whoo!

You know, finally sent Nellie upstairs for the night, man.

Whew. Yo, we ain't done business like that since...

Man, not since my pops was still alive. Whew.

Oh. This that Hot Mocha Haze indica?

I ain't had a chance to roll me a fresh one, so...

I'm about to light up.

You know I'm trying to... Mm-hmm.

Oh.

Oh, yes.

Now, how could God make anything more perfect

than this shit right here?

Mmm.

Grows right out of the ground,

you never even get a hangover, right? Mm-hmm.

Mmm. Good night.

Bitch, are we really not gonna talk about this?

Did you just call me bitch?

You don't think we need to have a...

conver-motherfucking-sation about this shit?

- What shit? - No.

I'm not... You're not gonna make me say it, no.

Mami, okay.

- I took care of it. - But...

Have you tasted it?

Did I taste it? What?

You tasted it, didn't you?

Of course I didn't fucking taste it.

- Well, why not? - Why didn't I fucking taste it?

Yo, aren't you curious? That's a delicacy.

Mami, I put a lot of...

Because it's human fucking flesh in an empanada, you...

unbelievable dumbass!

Dolores. Meat is meat. Flesh is flesh.

The only reason that we eat a pig,

or a cow, or a lamb like whatever

is because we are more powerful than them.

So, we get to feed off them.

That's how we survive because we are carnivores.

That's just like Darwin and shit, man.

Why's everybody talking about fucking Darwin all of a sudden?

Because these are desperate times, yo.

You should be proud of the muy loco.

Mami, it means that we won.

Luis, I just spent the past 16 years in prison

with con artists, murderers, child molesters,

some sick, twisted motherfuckers.

And I heard a lot of shit in my day, pero this?

This shit? Man, this shit?

This shit is even new to me.

What the fuck did you want me to do, huh?

You want me to wrap him up in a rug

and lug him over across Broadway, down the stairs...

Yeah, that's exactly what I was gonna do!

You know? Listen, mami, I-I appreciate

what you did for me, okay?

But, you know, you left me with a dead-ass body,

and I was up all night trying to find a solution, okay?

And now? Mmm.

I'm doing decent business again.

And I'm getting rid of evidence.

So, you just got to keep doing your thing, okay?

Being Magic Hands Dolores.

"Doing my thing"?

While you got Nellie up there waving

fucking toothpicks in people's faces?

Yes, that's right, mami.

Because the more it looks like

we're trying to attract attention,

the more it looks like we ain't got nothing to hide.

Because this shit is about hiding in plain sight.

Hiding in plain sight, huh?

Yo, come on now, waste not, want not, baby.

Don't eat that in front of me.

- Don't eat that man in front of me! - Ah!

Yo, come on, what are you doing? This is rare,

valuable meat right here, man. I mean...

I mean, it's not cooked rare, but it's rare like...

Jesus Christ. Oh, God.

Where's the rest of him?

What?

Stop with the fucking "what," you heard what I said.

I mean, I got a pretty big freezer up there, so... - Oh, my God.

We're... Oh, my... I'm going to prison.

I'm going back to prison.

And you're gonna go to prison, we're...

No, no, no, no, no. Listen, listen.

- I'm going back to prison. - Listen.

Nobody goes up there but me, all right?

And I took his phone all the way to SoHo

and made some random-ass calls out there

so if anybody tries to track that shit,

it's gonna look like he went down over there after here.

That's pretty genius, right?

"Genius"? That's the word you're going with right now?

I love you.

I love you, Dolores Roach.

I've been waiting this whole time.

And, listen, mami, I know you love me, too.

And you ain't got to say it back just yet.

I got all the time in the world for you.

Give me that blunt. Genius.

Well, good night.

I miss Dominic.

And then, for those next few days,

we all just do our work.

You have a wonderful... Do you want your receipt? Okay.

♪ When I wake up in the morning, love...

It's actually weird how normal

everything feels, almost good.

♪ And something without warning, love ♪

- Just one of these? Okay. - ♪ Bears heavy on my mind ♪

♪ Then I look at you ♪

My new table's really working great,

and I'm making out.

♪ And the world's all right with me ♪

♪ Just one look at you ♪

♪ And I know it's gonna be ♪

♪ A lovely day ♪

♪ Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day ♪

♪ Lovely day, lovely day...

Luis keeps cranking out those empanadas...

♪ Lovely day, lovely day...

...I think he's gonna run out of Mr. Pearlman pretty soon.

Okay.

And, like, this whole "secret recipe" thing

did remind some folks we're still here.

♪ Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day ♪

♪ Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day ♪

♪ A lovely day...

And for like a hot second,

I can almost let myself believe the other shoe's not gonna drop.

♪ Lovely day ♪♪

I'm telling you, D,

this is cute or whatever.

- "Or whatever"? - But my girl could really do

something good with that hair.

What's wrong with my hair?

Uh, look here, she need a couple of pics.

I don't want to give you pics.

Come on, smile, don't look hard.

There you go. Oh, my God, these look so good.

Got you a present.

- You got me a present? - Mm-hmm.

How come?

Because you're somebody who deserves a present.

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

That's the graduation song, right?

No, that's the "Wedding March."

- No, no, that's the graduation song. - Okay, what the hell are you

- asking me for then? - Open it. Open it.

How'd you get this?

Looks legit, right?

Seriously, how did you get this?

I went over to one of those print shops, it wasn't hard.

Yo, hang that up down there and you will look very...

...above board.

'Cause we ain't got nothing to hide.

Luis Batista?

But the other shoe...

always drops.

Mr. Batista, I'm Jonah Pearlman, from Pearlman Property Group.

I'm here for my father.