Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

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[videocine logo]

[videocine logo]

[traziende logo]

[agasajo logo]

[waves crashing]

[soft music]

[soft music continues]

[soft knocks]

[knocks increases]

[tense music]

[music stops]

It's time, champ!

Nico.

OK, OK.

Glad to see you're going with the flow.

Here's your picnic.

What the fuck?

[tense music]

[machine beeping]

Lucía, if you wanted to look

like the bride on the cake,

you shouldn't have eaten it.

You can still bail out.

Look at you.

That's embarrassing.

Yeah, right.

You're not the one stuffing yourself into this dress.

-Exactly. -Hang on.

There.

Quit bugging her, OK?

Could you be a bit more helpful?

[music stops]

What's with your tropical fruit basket, man?

It's an offering,

symbolizing the day of a new beginning.

We're going to throw it in the sea at dusk.

I bet that was the bride.

I mean, it's a lovely idea.

Very poetic. I adore it!

We flew the mangoes in from Thailand,

because they are not in season...

Relax, champ.

It's all good. Everything's cool.

You're not a kid anymore.

You're getting married.

Remember why.

[romantic music]

The net's supposed to hang

from the ceiling with steel rings.

I like it.

[exclaiming]

I love it!

It turned out great!

What did you do to make it look like it's floating?

I anchored it with tempered steel rods.

[cheerful music]

So it won't fall?

It won't fall.

Right, Lalo?

You sure?

Because I'm the one in charge of this project.

Your design is safe, boss.

What are you doing?

Hold on.

Get off.

Steel rods, huh?

Anchored?

Tempered!

[cheerful music increases]

Wait, I haven't tried it yet.

Please, get off. Get off!

[soft music]

Marry me.

[upbeat music]

It's the first time ever that I'm glad to see

a man putting his pants on.

Damn, Lucía.

You? Buying into institutionalized monogamy?

Stop busting my ovaries.

Ew. Ovaries.

You never gave a fuck about marriage.

Why are you getting married?

[soft music]

Marry me.

What?

Just like that?

No ring?

Will you marry me?

[soft music increases]

Lucía: Yes.

[music stops]

Get off me!

Enough, enough.

[exhaling]

I'm getting married today.

And you, shut...

[upbeat music]

They want to fuck me.

They didn't even look at you.

There was a glance. I felt it.

Everybody wants to fuck you, says you.

I can feel it.

The offering!

I'll go get it.

You go.

[elevator music]

What a moment!

She looks gorgeous.

Unforgettable day.

Lula.

Thanks.

It's OK to be nervous.

woman: It goes away, though.

man: You might feel like bailing...

-Remember? -[laughing] No.

I felt sick because I was pregnant.

Everything was just lovely.

man: She even puked on the altar.

[distorted laughter]

[sighing]

Lucía's friend: Lula.

-I need some time on my own. -But...

Just me and my ovaries.

[exhaling]

[grunting]

[heavy breathing]

Honey?

Honey, are you alright?

I thought you weren't wearing a gown...

[tense music]

What are you doing here?

Getting married!

Is this a fucking joke, Nicolás?

You're getting married?

What the fuck are you doing here?

I'm getting married!

[music stops]

No, no!

No!

This is my venue.

This is my date.

[tense music]

Who're you marrying?

None of your business.

[music increases]

Who?

Beto.

[music stops]

Beto who?

Well, Beto.

Beto, Beto?

Beto, Beto.

Beto, your cousin?

He's not my cousin.

[exclaiming]

We're gathered here together

on this special date,

to celebrate the union of Lucía and Nico...

with other people.

Lucía's friend: Mike!

It's always lovely to see you

and survive to tell the tale.

Champ?

Tere's waiting.

[music continues]

Who's Tere?

Dearest followers,

as you all well know, because I repeat it so often,

social conventions and rules are meant to be broken.

So come with me to see the groom before the ceremony.

Come on.

[spiritual music]

Soulmate!

Sorry!

Hi.

Sorry, I thought we wouldn't have a wedding video.

That it was all going to be about Lucía's photo booth and...

[stammering]

Hang on a second. Tere?

Tere with the tits?

-Who's he? -Which tits?

No, Tere's not the one with the tits, OK?

I am the bride.

I'm the groom.

Out of all the douchebags

and many idiots in the world,

you picked Beto?

Beto! [laughing]

[music continues]

So, who's Tere?

Doesn't matter. Let's go.

You know who Tere is?

Or do you know who's not Tere?

Tere's not my cousin.

He's not my cousin!

He's a guy with balls.

Unlike you, you limp dick coward.

OK, enough!

Stop.

It's your wedding day, man.

Your wedding.

You're marrying a woman

who gives you peace and quiet,

who doesn't want to fuck anyone.

-Literally. -Shush, shush.

Come on, move. It's getting late.

Nico: Hey!

Hi!

Babe!

Did you know there's another wedding?

What?

There's another wedding, happening today.

Did you know?

You knew?

Strange we didn't hear about it before, huh?

I mean,

in these hotels there are always lots of weddings.

They get busy.

It happens, in these hotels...

That's why they didn't want us to have the main venue.

Sure.

Well, let's go.

We're going ahead.

What's wrong, Nicolás?

[tense music]

I know the bride.

What?

How do you...?

From where?

-From Tinder. -Kinder...!

Kindergarten?

Yeah...

What a coincidence, right?

Same time, same channel.

Like a joke.

It happens, though. It happens, and...

We carry on, OK? Lets just do our thing.

Is that why you're acting weird?

Weird, how?

[tense music increases]

Yeah...

No, yes, I'm nervous.

Because...

Today's the day of our new beginning.

Oh, baby...

Me too, so am I.

Today's the most important day...

of my life.

Calm down, relax. Breathe.

Let's do OraQi.

OK, so let us breathe in...

OraQi!

[tense music continues]

[tense music continues]

[tense music continues]

[tense music increases]

[music stops]

WEDDING NIGHTS

WEDDING NIGHTS

[soft music]

If you could see your wedding...

You're gonna love it.

Do you want Prozac?

I want whiskey. That'll do it.

Yes, let's get one.

No, son, hold on.

Ma, it's our wedding.

We can do whatever we want.

Release the altar boys.

Whiskey.

I'll cherish this day for the rest

of your celibate existence.

Oh, they're adorable. [clapping]

[cheering]

guests: Congratulations!

Bravo!

-Whiskey, my whiskey. -I already asked for it.

Here. Thank you.

No, I don't want that. I want whiskey.

It's the only thing authorized for the toast.

Fine, thanks.

It's what happens when mommy plans your wedding.

You were warned.

[clapping dying down]

Beto: Thank you all for being here.

As you all know,

this is a very special day for us.

Today we celebrate the union

of two wandering souls...

No, come on. I'm just kidding.

Let's cut the crap and have fun.

[cheering]

And please, get my wife her whiskey

on the rocks right away.

And a Blue Lagoon for me.

[spiritual music]

[clapping]

You can't have that on an empty stomach.

Well, I like to start with dessert.

They're holy, brother. Sacred mushrooms.

Blood of Quetzalcóatl.

Oh, chocoshrooms.

One bite

connects you with the sacred dance.

Half a chocolate, and you look within.

And a whole one is a coin toss, bro.

Not now, thank you.

No fear.

With love.

Today's the day.

OK...

[spiritual music increases]

Tere: Nico.

Nico.

[music increases]

Namaste.

Congratulations.

Oh, thank you!

Thanks, Juanjo.

Truly. Thank you.

Namaste.

That's why we set up a gift registry, right?

Yeah.

I'll leave it here.

Wife...

Do you want something to eat?

A turmeric kombucha, please.

Look at these pictures.

Where to, champ?

Bathroom.

The other wedding's or...?

I need to see Lucía.

What for?

I need to talk to her.

Who do you need to talk to?

To the guys in the other wedding.

Why?

I thought of...

asking them to do the offering with us.

So I thought of taking...

It's a good idea, isn't it?

There's a reason the universe conspired

to bring us together, to share...

[tense music]

You're absolutely right.

Of course! Oh, baby!

My champ, always one step ahead.

-Namaste. -Namaste.

Let's go. I'll get the offering. Yeah.

Namascrewed.

[cheerful music]

The good, the bad, and the comadre.

What a beauty.

What a wonderful reception.

The Amish kids were so sweet.

Lucía: They're altarboys.

The competition!

Darling, these are Nico and Tere.

I told her your name when we ran into each other earlier.

This is Lucía.

Mike. Delighted.

-You knew each other? -Yes.

Where from?

-Kindergarten. -Here.

Also from kindergarten...

We went to kindergarten together.

And then we bumped into each other here.

When I...

was the architect in charge of remodeling the hotel.

And I was the engineer.

So you worked together.

Beto: That's right, Lu, you worked here for months.

-We barely saw each other. -Very little.

We hardly spoke.

[heavy breathing]

Where I do remember you...

is from kindergarten. Funny.

You were such a scared crybaby.

Was he? Babe...

It was kindergarten.

And you?

Why did you choose this hotel for your wedding?

Lu loves this hotel.

And you?

They gave me a huge discount because I worked here.

Lucía's friend: Precisely today.

Precisely. The discount was for today.

Hotels do that, they pack weddings into the same day,

just so they don't disturb the guests all the time.

Unbelievable.

[tense music]

What a fucking coincidence!

-Right? -We must celebrate together.

Yes.

Long live the happy couples!

[cheering]

We were just talking about the coincidence.

That's why we...

Babe?

We'd like to share with you the offering of the...

-The offering. -Offering.

We'll throw it into the sea at dusk.

-How pretty! -What is it?

It's an offering

that symbolizes the day of the new beginning.

That's adorable!

Was it your idea, Nico?

Yes, we both thought of it,

inspired by Celtic tradition.

Celts and kiwis finally together.

What a sweet idea. Thanks.

Count on it. We'll be there.

Enjoy your wedding.

Hey, you're so young.

How old are you?

I mean, to think that me and Nico

already knew each other before you...

were even been born.

Funny, right? Right?

What do you do?

I'm a yoga teacher.

I developed a meditation technique.

Rediscovering an ancient practice.

I have an app, in fact.

Download it. It's free.

It's called OraQi.

Look, like this.

Spelled with a Q.

So you meditate, Nicolás?

Well, he tries.

He tries.

[laughing]

Tere: And you?

How long have you been together?

We've known each other from birth.

Well, not quite that long.

Yes, Lula, it is that long.

The thing is, our folks have been friends forever.

We grew up together, traveled together.

So how long have you been together?

It'll be a year since we met.

What?

You had a girlfriend you loved like crazy, right?

You were going to get married. You even proposed.

I think you're confused.

I'd never fallen in love before Tere.

[music continues]

Guys, Beto wants to fuck me.

There you go again.

There's a very dense energy in that wedding.

Lucía's mom: One, two, hello.

-Hello, hello, everyone. -Where's my whiskey?

waiter: Of course!

We're delighted to have you here in this dream come true.

Perhaps the most significant dream

for these two families that,

before the eyes of God,

have now become one.

And now an announcement.

My daughter had the cute idea of setting up

out there a photo booth that takes photos,

like the ones for your passport.

It's a photo booth for...

every guest to be able to take home a souvenir.

So you just go in the booth, close the doors,

and it'll take a sequence of photos

which will be then printed into a small flipbook,

like a mini movie.

In this wedding, we'll all be photographers.

Your photos and videos will make up

today's wedding album.

Everything will be projected on the screen.

[laughing]

-Thank you so much. -Enjoy the food.

Your kids will be so lucky to have such grandmothers.

[cheering]

-I'll go see that idiot. -Are we going to the party?

What shall we bring?

Thanks, but it's an alcohol-free wedding.

Are you AA?

We don't like to dull our conscience.

There are moments in your life that are worth remembering.

Really?

So what are those for?

Medicine, to helps us connect with our emotions.

Want some?

No, thanks.

No alcohol but mushrooms are cool.

Hey, don't leave me alone in that fancy wedding.

We brought something to drink, but...

they're more into transcendence.

-Forgive the intrusion. -Nico: That's fine.

You're more than welcome.

The first dance of the newlyweds!

[cheering]

guru: No, no, come with me.

Come, come on.

Another couple came.

[upbeat music]

[cheering]

[cheering]

What's wrong with you, Nicolás?

Nico: How long has it been since...?

Since what?

You know what I mean.

What?

We've been so busy planning the wedding.

How long has it been?

Nico...

I don't know. Like...

Two weeks?

More like a month,

and with pants on, it doesn't count.

-Tonight is the night. -OK.

[cheering]

Switch!

Hey.

[music decreases]

How's the lapdog?

I'm happy.

I can see by the way you wag your tail.

Must be exhausting to think

that everything in the world revolves around you.

Or not.

Like a phone call,

a text, an email, an insult at least, anything.

I was there for Nico.

You probably don't understand

what it is to be altruistic.

I don't speak Chihuahua. Sorry.

I'll dance over there.

Switch!

[upbeat music continues]

Cool tunic.

It's a dress.

What do you do?

I'm a lawyer.

You?

-I'm a teacher. -Pilates, right.

-Yoga. -Sure.

-The yoga app, right? -Meditation.

Yeah, right.

-Switch? -Switch.

guru: Switch!

-Hello! -What's up?

Wow, yoga student.

You wouldn't have touched a yoga mat before.

I grew, I changed, partly thanks to you.

No, no.

Thanks to you,

I'm now in a better place

with someone who's always been there for me.

Your cousin.

Someone who loves me.

[soft music]

Your cousin.

Someone with balls,

who would never do what you did

two hours after proposing.

It wasn't two hours.

-Two hours. -Hell, no.

-Two hours. Two hours. -No.

And a fraction.

Of course!

So that gives you the right to propose,

and two hours and a fraction later,

fuck some woman with big tits?

[upbeat music continues]

You know?

Fucking with Beto

probably takes sex to a whole new level.

You have no idea.

Of inbreeding and deformity.

Just kidding.

The good thing is its all in the family.

I wish you a universe of light,

peace and harmony for each of your chakras.

And I wish Beto lots of luck.

I'll leave you to your wife

and her Instagram wedding.

I'll take the tequila, though.

I'd hate to think of you having fun.

Go back to your wedding,

that is just like every other

wedding on the planet.

Run. The disco, reggaeton, and cumbia are about to start.

It's this...

-Hold on, you have a pimple. -What?

Oh, no, sorry.

-Don't forget your tequila. -Thank you!

-Have a wonderful day! -Thanks, congratulations.

-Have a wonderful day! -Thanks, congratulations.

Happy life!

Beto: Same. Bye!

[flushing toilet]

Fucking Nicolás.

He's determined to ruin and destroy everything.

And his brown noser Chihuahua.

Now what?

I'm supposed to go back to my wedding,

have a good time, smile?

No, I don't want to anymore.

[sighing]

We still have disco, reggaeton, cumbia...

It's my turn now.

My turn to ruin everything.

You know what?

Yes.

Yes, I'm in.

It'll be the worst day of his life.

["Cumbia Sampuesana" playing]

[music continues]

Nicolás.

Why is there music?

Let me go check.

Wait, let me go see.

[faded music]

I don't like this music.

-Are you dancing? -No, man.

This is war!

Calm down, calm down, champ.

Champ? The champs.

[music continues]

[faded music]

You, as usual,

straight to dessert, no questions asked.

Wait, hold on.

If you're not gonna help, let me do my thing.

If you open your mouth again, you'll find my fist in it.

You know I like those perversions.

-Oh, get lost. -Champ.

-And don't call me that. -Dude!

We're back here. It's not some fucking coincidence.

Don't you think the universe is trying to tell us something?

Fucking Nicolás is marrying the first woman he found,

someone colder than a penguin's asshole,

and hasn't had sex in months.

She's great, though.

She meditates, she's nice.

Strong affirmations from a loyal doggie.

And you?

Are you OK with your best friend

marrying a guy who's not out of the closet?

Beto, gay?

He wants to fuck me.

Pull down your skirt, your slip is showing, darling.

So you're happy for your friend?

No.

For the rest of her life, she'll be fucking

the first dick she saw when she was a baby.

I'm sorry, OK?

Sorry.

I chose my best friend instead of calling you.

These chocoshrooms have to be surgically distributed.

Champ.

[tense music]

["Oye" playing]

Lucía: No, don't eat that!

-Spit it out! -Lula, it's a joke.

It's a joke. Just a joke.

Me and Lula have a bet.

-What? -What we talked about.

I'll explain later.

I'll borrow Lula for a minute.

Come with me, Lula.

What? What are they made of?

[music continues]

What's your problem?

He just had a chocoshroom.

Well, he already did. What will you do about it?

Beto doesn't do drugs.

He barely drinks Blue Lagoons.

What will you tell him?

That somebody is trying to sabotage your wedding?

How will you explain that?

What happens if Beto realizes?

Don't be silly, Lucía.

You're fooling everybody,

including your husband,

on your wedding day.

[music continues]

Besides, what's the worst that could happen?

It's a chocoshroom, Lula.

Well, they look good.

Everything good. Perfect.

She's crazy!

How did those chocoshrooms get here?

How do you think?

Son of a bitch!

Pili! Mili!

Bring those sober hippies from their pathetic wedding!

[cheering]

Alright, you hippie sluts. Come over here.

Lucía: Everything alright?

You're trying to ruin my wedding, aren't you?

-What? -Your cousins.

Oh, no, no. Listen, guys.

Relax.

We're having a great time at our wedding, it's cool.

Why don't you take the case of tequila?

Do you think I'm stupid?

What a great party!

Come here. We must celebrate together.

This fucking coincidence

is too weird for a wedding.

Come on, don't be uptight.

We can't keep our guests waiting.

[cheering]

There's a lot stronger party vibes flowing over here.

[loud noises]

One, two, three.

Family,

I'm so glad we're all gathered together.

We're all part of this universe

which is made up of...

particles.

[sighing]

Nothing but particles.

Crap. This asshole lost it.

Lost it completely.

With love, and from the bottom of my heart,

let's welcome Tere.

Who's a great fucking Pilates teacher,

and has the coolest yoga app.

Next thing you know, they'll have us all doing Pilates.

And also, for Nico...

Nico...

Nico has been Lucia's lifelong friend.

Fucking universe, right?

It's amazing.

It's amazing because they too got married today,

here in the same place,

but their wedding is pathetic.

Give them a hand.

Nico! Tere! Come on up!

Lu, my love!

My love!

DJ, hit it!

[sounding: "Fuga pa' la calle"]

[music continues]

Let's go, let's go!

Come on, Lu! Look who I have here!

Lu! I know, Lu!

Let's go take one of those photos of yours.

Let's go!

Come on, Tere!

Come on, let's go!

The newlyweds!

How do we do this?

It starts taking pictures on its own.

This man ate a chocolate.

Look at him!

Wait! It has already started.

Hold on!

It's so silly.

Oh, the offering.

Let's go to the beach!

[spiritual music]

Sorry.

Why?

About the wedding.

It's not your fault.

No, Nicolás, no.

Not now.

-Why not? -Because. Just because.

Because we're waiting for these...

I have a feeling they fucked me up on purpose.

Want to do some OraQis?

Yes.

Oh, yes.

Nicolás,

as of today, you'll be always by my side.

Our union is an act of the universe

that wants me to be whole,

so I can change this world.

And there's no reason,

excuse, motive, or pretext

for you and I to ever be apart.

OraQi!

We lost the offering!

-How? -No idea.

It's not there.

It went to another dimension.

["Ella no suelta nada" playing]

[music stops]

Alright, fine, alright.

[mumbling]

No problem.

Let's offer what's left before the sun sets.

OK.

[upbeat music]

I'd like to thank the universe because today,

it's challenging me to accept things as they are,

and not as I want them to be.

I take the lesson as a blessing.

[whooping]

Now, you.

[whooping]

No, you.

Yes, honey.

Well, I think that this is the day

that symbolizes the new beginning...

And...

I know there are no do-overs,

but I also want to learn,

so I won't make the same mistakes.

-And I'd like to... -[whooping]

Lucía?

Well, I didn't picture my wedding like this.

I was going to marry in a completely different way.

But it is what it is.

[whooping]

Yes, yes, I know how.

[whooping]

Beto?

Lucía: Beto.

Beto!

[Beto exhaling]

Beto: Can you feel the sand?

It feels like particles, right?

Nothing but particles.

[spiritual music]

OK, let's do this.

[music stops]

Shall I put the boat in the water?

No, we wait for a wave to take it.

-But it's low tide. -No.

A wave will take it eventually.

-What if we help it along? -Patience.

Shall we hold hands, please?

[romantic music]

[music continues]

[music increases]

[vomiting sounds]

[gagging]

Tere: The quartz.

Oh, what trippy colors!

-The quartz! -What?

No, the quartz.

Somebody do something. Find it!

Throw up the other way!

-Tere: The quartz! -Nico: I don't see it.

-Well, do something. -What do I do? Stick my hand in?

Find it, it must be there. We need to find it.

It went to a different dimension!

-Do something! -Do something!

OK!

[tense music]

[slimy sounds]

Nico: I think that...

-Do you have it? -I'm getting there.

Got it?

Yes, unless Beto swallowed a stone.

-Get it out, get it out! -It's slipping.

There, almost...

[waves crashing]

The quartz!

No!

Not the quartz!

Beto: The symbol of the day when our new beginning started!

This is no way to start a marriage.

Chill, man. It was just a ritual.

Tere: Just a ritual?

It was my blessed quartz.

Well, it's in the sea, as planned.

This is not how it was planned.

Beto: All covered in puke!

It's no good like that!

It's like a thousand years of bad sex.

Was it the alcohol, or what?

Fucking Blue Lagoons.

[Beto crying]

We can't take him back to the wedding like this.

OK!

You go get the Rescue and the Bach Flowers.

They're in my room. And we'll need baking soda.

I'll get the baking soda.

I'll do Reiki on him.

["Noreste caliente" playing]

[cheering]

["Noreste caliente" continues]

Things got interesting.

And this is only the beginning.

["Noreste caliente" continues]

[music stops]

Wait, Lucía, where are you going?

Where? To get the baking soda.

-Sorry. -Sorry for what, Nicolás?

For getting Beto so wasted,

by getting married at the same place, on the same day?

I'm sorry!

Just...

sorry.

Say it, you fucking coward.

Why don't you have the balls to say:

"Sorry I fucked a woman two hours after..."

-It wasn't two hours! -Two hours!

And a fraction!

You suggested it!

-What? -You had the idea.

You're the one who said we had to sleep with others.

Or did you forget already?

Oh, how obedient of you.

Who would ever think of such a thing?

Right after we confessed to each other

we were madly in love.

[emotional music]

After the best eight months of my life,

feeling something real.

I wasn't kidding myself as always.

Not caring about my friends, my job, my family.

The world might fall apart, and I'd stay there,

in that room, with you.

In that gaze, with you.

And for the first time in my life,

I want to commit.

To you!

You accepted.

We cried.

And we made love once more.

[emotional music continues]

And two seconds later you tell me to chill,

that we should take it slow,

that we should take it slow,

that maybe it's a good idea to sleep with others?

hotel's guests: The newlyweds!

What took you so long?

I didn't take long.

I nearly had to drag Beto.

You just had to get the drops.

I didn't take that long.

Twenty-five minutes, Nicolás.

-It wasn't 25! -It was.

And a fraction, right?

All men are the same!

Their tricks and obsessions with manuals.

Their fractions.

Like parking meters.

Beto is identical. Right, darling?

And the music?

-What? -No?

-No. -No.

Lucía: What's going on? Where's the music?

The wires were cut!

[emotional music]

Lucía: Are you alright?

-Do you remember? -What?

That time we played hooky when we were nine.

We stayed in your house, in the closet,

and played all day with your parents' clothes,

-and made a mess. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I remember.

I remember you dressed as your dad.

And you, as my mom.

You wore her dress. You looked very pretty.

I remember we suddenly heard someone coming home.

We got back in the closet, remember?

We were so scared.

Yeah, because you were wearing

my mom's most expensive dress.

And we got caught.

I still recall the expression...

Like a deer in the headlights, remember?

...on my aunt's face.

She's not your aunt.

Tere: Sit down for the ceremony and grab an instrument.

We'll do a video for my social media.

A group OraQi, live.

[upbeat music]

Nico: Tequila?

You know perfectly well I don't like it.

I like whiskey.

And you know perfectly well

this is my favorite tequila.

Thanks for thinking of me

even when you planned your wedding.

Why don't you go ruin life for your wife instead?

Yes, great idea!

I'm going to consummate my wedding night.

Sure, with the Ice Queen?

That bed must be freezing.

No, yoga teacher. Imagine the things we do.

No, you imagine it.

I think she doesn't like to be touched,

not even if you wake her up in an emergency.

We do it wonderfully.

When was the last time?

We were saving ourselves precisely for this moment.

Yeah, right.

When?

One week. What's it to you?

More like a month and with pants on,

so it doesn't count.

Yeah, sure.

You like everybody to sleep around.

Great, Nicolás, you're beginning to get the gist of it.

I guess you took some liberties the night before your wedding.

I'm a black hole of cosmic fucks!

As a matter of fact,

I already had half the men in that wedding

in romantic moments with other men.

You're not that special, Nicolás. Relax.

You're not the first, and certainly not the last.

What else do you want to know?

-That'll do it. Thank you. -OK.

Run along. Go find your block of ice

who's already starting to have fun.

Looks like it's bad for her.

It's exactly what I'm gonna do.

Go on. Consummate your wedding night as planned.

With yourself!

I'm gonna make love to her right now.

Sure. Do your worst, matador!

-Get undressed. -Yes.

-Off with your clothes. -Yes, yes.

[moaning]

Right here, right now, OraQi.

Lucía: Now I need a whiskey.

A double one.

-Well, she's his wife. -You said they didn't fuck?

No one's safe on their wedding night.

They've been in there for like ten minutes.

And a fraction.

What are you doing? What's wrong?

What's wrong with you?

It's my wedding,

and this photo booth is the only cool thing.

What the fuck do you care what I do or don't do,

especially who I sleep with.

May your dick fall off.

I hope it was the worst fuck of your life.

Truth be told, it wasn't that bad.

Must've been epic, considering how long it lasted.

Forget how long.

The intensity, the alignment, the swaying...

In this super comfortable chair.

I don't buy it.

It's the good thing about learning yoga.

You just put down your mat down anywhere, and get it on.

Even up the kundalini.

[machine dinging]

We shall see.

If I was you, I wouldn't.

You'll want to burn down this photo thingy.

No.

I won't look.

What I will do is leave, because you're grossing me out.

What if I leave first?

I don't think so.

-I do think so. -I don't.

OK, both at the same time. Slowly.

-Alright. -OK.

One.

Two.

Three!

Hold on, that's cheating. It's not fair.

Got it!

Give it to me, it's mine.

Why can't I see it?

It's not for idiots.

This is better than the funnies.

This fucking bench is pretty uncomfortable.

You couldn't get it up.

-I'm drunk, OK? -Sure.

Nico can't get it up!

I'm drunk and stoned. I'm stone drunk.

-Nico can't get it up. -I was thinking of you!

There.

I got distracted thinking of you. Happy?

["Olvidarás" playing]

["Olvidarás" continues]

[music fades]

-This shouldn't... -This was...

Yes.

-Let's... -I'm going to...

Yes, of course.

Well, then...

-It's all cool, right? -Yes, everything's cool.

The flipbook!

[upbeat music]

Nico: It's gone, it's gone.

-Tere! -Beto!

-Fucking... -...shit.

Let's start the party!

Hit it, guys!

I go this way, you go that way.

[mariachi playing]

[distorted music]

[distorted music]

[distorted music]

[cheering]

[cheering]

[shouting]

[cheering]

[cheering]

What's wrong?

Where are you going?

I have to go to the bathroom. Be right back.

[sighing]

[grunting]

No, no, no.

Lucía's friend: Is this what you were looking for?

Get a room.

There are plenty here.

[soft music]

[shouting]

[music stops]

Fuck, fuck.

You gotta be kidding!

[indistinct chattering]

Kindergarten?

I knew you were lying.

Beto: I can explain.

Let me explain!

Me and Lucía have known each other for almost two years.

And yes, me and Lucía...

we...

we were together.

Lucía: It was very intense.

We damaged each other in a short period of time.

And I knew what kind of relationship I didn't want.

That's when I realized I wanted to be with you, Beto.

Tere, you and I are together here on this day because

it was the time and place when I was to marry Lucía.

And I needed to heal.

-Because the past... -The past,

-...doesn't matter. -it doesn't matter.

-I'm over it. -I'm over it.

[tense music]

[mumbling]

I told you!

He started it.

No!

It's your fault my son is confused.

Because of your cute habit of sleeping with his father.

I slept with your idiot husband because you slept with mine

every weekend when you went out

for pizza in Valle de Bravo.

What a beauty! They're siblings!

Alright, alright.

They're not siblings.

That was later.

You idiot, what do you mean, later?

Yeah, so what?

I like men.

And women.

I like everyone.

I like everything.

But not you, Lula.

We're like brother and sister.

I got confused.

I can't pretend anymore.

I'm sick and tired of faking.

I wanted things to be as I wanted,

but they're not.

Things are what they are, and that's that.

And we must accept it.

[soft music]

Forgive me, Lula.

[music stops]

Do you realize this all started when you decided

to fuck somebody else two hours after proposing?

-It wasn't two hours. -Zip it!

Why did you propose to fuck other people?

Why then? Who did you want to sleep with?

Nobody!

[heavy breathing]

I haven't been with anybody since then.

I haven't been with anybody since you.

Die, you motherfuckers!

You ruined my day, I'll ruin yours!

Your wedding,

your fucking parents, your fucking friends,

and every last table.

Take it easy, Tere.

Where did you get a gun?

Tere: You limp dick, I can't stand you.

I can't stand the way you fart whenever you do yoga.

And I'm up to here

with your I-don't-get-it eyes

when you meditate.

Let's take a break.

Let's breathe. OraQi!

OraQi up yours!

Let me go, let go of me!

[indistinct chatter]

Calm down, calm down!

Let's all take a breath!

What's wrong with you?

[indistinct chatter]

[intense music]

Come on, come on.

Nico: Wait, the shoe!

Nico: Careful, watch it!

Tere: Out of the way!

[indistinct screaming]

[tense music]

[tense music increases]

Nico.

Nico?

Come out, you little shit.

I'll find you, motherfucker.

I'm here.

You're not going to kill me, are you?

I'm dying to kill you.

-Let's go. -Oh, so you're leaving?

You're leaving, limp dick?

What do I have to do?

How do I start to fix all this?

That's a very good question.

You can start by signing over the apartment.

Yes, the apartment, the car, the Thermomix.

You can have it all.

And I want you and this bitch to go back to the party

and tell everyone everything's fine.

That it was all a misunderstanding.

OK.

And once they buy the whole story,

we'll toast again,

and then we all go home as though nothing had happened.

OK.

We go back to Mexico and you go the fuck away,

and in a few months, we get a divorce.

-What for? -I'm a guru!

I have thousands of followers,

my TikTok account just got verified,

my app doesn't sell itself.

Don't you get it, Nicolás?

You're nuts!

Shut it, you inbred little bitch!

Alright, fine.

If that's what you want,

I'm willing to go through with it.

Tere: Deal?

And one last thing.

You don't ever see this woman again.

-That I won't do. -Say yes.

I'm the one who's sick of you.

I've been saying yes to everything.

-The day of my wedding. -Exactly. And what about me?

My family, my friends?

You'd ruin everything in front of everyone?

Nobody cares about us.

Nobody cares about your app, or your yoga,

or your guru pose on Instagram.

It's all fake, just like this damned wedding night.

[tense music]

[screaming]

Mike: Are you alright? Are you alright? Are you OK?

Yes.

I just got scared.

Run!

["Amorcito corazón" playing]

[indistinct screaming]

[Lucía screaming]

["Amorcito corazón" continues]

[music stops]

Are you alright?

Yes.

Why?

Why what?

You say you want to sleep with others,

and now it turns out you haven't slept with anyone.

It's complicated.

Not that complicated.

Well, because...

-Nico. -Tell me!

-Because... -Because...?

Because I didn't feel like it. That's all.

Lucía...

I was scared to death.

I was terrified to think what could happen.

That's why I got drunk,

and slept with someone else two hours later.

So it was two hours after all.

Because the thought of losing you...

broke my heart in pieces.

Because I love you.

Then...

why?

Out of fear.

Admit it.

I was terrified and so were you.

Do you admit it?

Come on, say yes. Admit it.

I was terrified...

of what I felt.

Of how I feel about you.

So I thought that if I slept with other men...

But I don't want other men.

I only want you.

So I admit it...

yes, I do.

["Snow" playing]

[indistinct screaming]

["Snow" continues]

[screaming]

[bling sound]

["Snow" continues]

Please. I haven't gotten laid in over a year.

And a fraction.

["Snow" continues]

WEDDING NIGHTS

["Snow" continues]

["Snow" continues]

["Olvidarás" playing]

["Olvidarás" continues]

["Olvidarás" continues]

["Olvidarás" continues]

["Olvidarás" continues]

["Instrumental" playing]

[music fades]