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1
00:00:01,836 --> 00:00:03,546
So, how did this happen?
2
00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:07,382
Your Honor, what began
as a verbal dispute
3
00:00:07,383 --> 00:00:10,176
escalated into
a full-on trash fight
4
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:12,762
in the middle of Second Avenue.
5
00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:15,140
Your Honor, we are asking
the court for leniency,
6
00:00:15,141 --> 00:00:18,393
as we are in the third week
of a citywide garbage strike,
7
00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:21,771
and everyone is on edge.
8
00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:23,190
You don't believe me?
9
00:00:25,985 --> 00:00:27,986
Alright, case dismissed.
10
00:00:27,987 --> 00:00:30,405
Please remember,
even in our darkest moments--
11
00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:32,158
And there's a bug on your face.
12
00:00:35,077 --> 00:00:36,703
Five-minute recess.
13
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:38,747
Wow,
with all the trash piling up,
14
00:00:38,748 --> 00:00:41,542
people are really starting
to lose their minds.
15
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:47,797
Yeah, people.
16
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,549
If you ask me,
I think everyone's
17
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,384
overreacting to this strike.
18
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,802
I mean,
garbage is a part of life.
19
00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:54,179
We come into this world
as trash.
20
00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:56,639
We leave it as trash.
21
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,808
Well, garbage strikes
are the one citywide crisis
22
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:00,310
that I cannot abide.
23
00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:02,187
I'll take a blackout
over this any day.
24
00:01:02,188 --> 00:01:05,231
Oh, I love a good blackout.
25
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:07,734
Ah, the restaurants and bars
26
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:11,154
give you food and drinks
for free.
27
00:01:11,155 --> 00:01:14,908
And when a stranger grabs
your ass in total darkness,
28
00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:17,578
you can imagine it's anyone.
29
00:01:19,455 --> 00:01:21,247
Even Sting.
30
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,166
MTA strikes aren't bad, either.
31
00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:26,127
Get your walking in and don't
have to sit in a metal tube
32
00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:28,671
watching people pretend to read.
33
00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:30,423
You want to get some coffee?
- Oh, yeah.
34
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,467
Oh, and-- and how great
are blizzards?
35
00:01:32,468 --> 00:01:34,594
God, you can spend the day
staring out the window
36
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,638
watching idiots fall down.
- Yeah, you ever see a guy
37
00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:38,598
fall into his own baby carriage?
38
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:42,143
Neither one of them
knows what to do.
39
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:45,271
Is anyone else nervous
there's two of them now?
40
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,899
Still not clean.
41
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:50,443
Wyatt, I had no idea
you were such a neat freak.
42
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:54,405
I'd call you Mr. Clean, but
you can't pull off an earring.
43
00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:55,657
First of all,
it was the weekend,
44
00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:58,201
and I was trying something.
45
00:01:58,202 --> 00:02:00,161
Second, I'm not a neat freak.
46
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:03,873
I'm a neat... ally.
47
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,375
Dirt is like vampires.
48
00:02:05,376 --> 00:02:08,127
If you invite it in,
it'll never leave.
49
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,088
Vampires famously leave.
50
00:02:10,089 --> 00:02:12,590
They turn into bats
and get the hell out.
51
00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,175
All I'm saying is,
it'd be nice
52
00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:15,802
if the courthouse stayed clean,
53
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,428
since it's somehow
the one place in the city
54
00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:19,764
that's not covered in garbage.
- You're right.
55
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,724
What do you think they're
doing with all that trash?
56
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,644
I don't care
what they're doing with it.
57
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,313
All I know is this is an oasis
compared to the nightmare
58
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:30,316
that waits beyond those doors.
59
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:33,444
Whew!
60
00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:37,532
Let me tell you,
I have had a day.
61
00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:40,243
Man, trash strike got you, too?
62
00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:42,036
What trash strike?
63
00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:52,797
{\an8}Mr. Crainey was charged with
multiple counts of trespassing.
64
00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:54,757
{\an8}He was caught digging
through the trash
65
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,801
{\an8}of several celebrities.
66
00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,846
{\an8}And Kathy Griffin.
67
00:03:00,306 --> 00:03:01,764
{\an8}Seems like a random burn.
68
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:05,184
{\an8}Oh, she knows what she did.
69
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,145
{\an8}My client
wasn't hurting anyone.
70
00:03:07,146 --> 00:03:08,605
{\an8}I mean, half the free stuff
celebrities get
71
00:03:08,606 --> 00:03:10,273
{\an8}goes right in the trash.
72
00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:12,275
{\an8}Believe me, if Liam Neeson
wants his Theragun back,
73
00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:15,111
{\an8}he'll come and get it.
74
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,821
{\an8}$100 fine.
75
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:19,616
{\an8}And instead of mooching
off other people's success,
76
00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:23,077
{\an8}maybe work hard and earn
your own invitation to, um,
77
00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:27,415
{\an8}Paris Hilton's dog's
quinceañera.
78
00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:29,500
{\an8}You know, Dan,
I've been thinking.
79
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,502
{\an8}Garbage strikes aren't all bad.
80
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:33,087
{\an8}You know,
it keeps the tourists away,
81
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:36,049
{\an8}so you get to have the city
all to yourself.
82
00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:38,509
{\an8}And even the rats
are so fat and horny
83
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:41,179
{\an8}that they don't bother you.
84
00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:42,764
{\an8}Yeah, in theory, that's great.
85
00:03:42,765 --> 00:03:45,725
{\an8}You're forgetting one thing--
the stench.
86
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:49,103
{\an8}What if I told you
there was a way around that?
87
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:51,356
{\an8}They found this
on the dumpster diver.
88
00:03:51,357 --> 00:03:54,025
{\an8}Expired ear drops.
89
00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:58,446
{\an8}The main side effect is
you lose your sense of smell.
90
00:03:58,447 --> 00:04:02,450
{\an8}Another side effect
is day terrors.
91
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:04,285
{\an8}- Have you tried them yet?
- Not yet.
92
00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:06,747
{\an8}Get thee back to hell, succubus!
93
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:13,044
{\an8}I'm messing with you.
94
00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:14,587
{\an8}No, I thought we could share it
95
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,965
{\an8}and, you know,
maybe go explore together.
96
00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:19,592
{\an8}Why are you being nice?
97
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,386
{\an8}You should know, the doctors
have declared my organs
98
00:04:21,387 --> 00:04:24,138
{\an8}adequate at best.
99
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:26,265
{\an8}Maybe I just want someone
to be there to help
100
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,476
{\an8}if I see a demon.
101
00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:30,061
{\an8}Or maybe...
102
00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:31,771
{\an8}I'm falling in love with--
103
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:40,071
{\an8}I can't even say that
with a straight face.
104
00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:42,657
{\an8}No, no, it's the demon thing.
105
00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:44,325
Alright, tell you what,
I'm gonna go against
106
00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:47,662
every instinct I have
and say, eh, sure.
107
00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:49,497
But listen,
if you're trying to trick me,
108
00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:51,457
I want it on record
that I never trusted you,
109
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,210
so it doesn't count.
110
00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:57,714
Ooh, there's Bert.
She's the head custodian.
111
00:04:57,715 --> 00:05:00,675
We should ask how they're
keeping this place so clean.
112
00:05:00,676 --> 00:05:02,051
You're really not curious?
113
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,594
No, because I already know.
114
00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:05,722
She's using
a trash-eating enzyme,
115
00:05:05,723 --> 00:05:07,640
possibly cytochrome c oxidase.
116
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,183
The real question's,
how'd she get access
117
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:12,603
to a military lab in Serbia?
118
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:15,189
That's ridiculous.
You want to know my theory?
119
00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:17,692
Somebody's eating it.
120
00:05:17,693 --> 00:05:19,403
But who?
121
00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:24,657
So, you want to know
what we're doing with the trash?
122
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,035
- How did you know?
- Well, you're a Sagittarius,
123
00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:28,911
so you have an inquisitive mind.
124
00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:31,372
Also, sometimes people
throw out working hearing aids,
125
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:34,083
and I use them to eavesdrop.
126
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:37,462
But you wash them off first, right?
127
00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:39,923
That's how you get
ear-patitis C!
128
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,052
So, Bert, how about sharing
your cleaning secret with us?
129
00:05:44,053 --> 00:05:45,845
Sorry, I can't tell you.
130
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,889
That's fine.
We don't want to bother you.
131
00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:50,349
But I can show you.
132
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,977
Ta-da!
133
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,565
You throw the trash
in a big hole?
134
00:05:57,566 --> 00:06:00,193
Technically, a hole
you can see the bottom of.
135
00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:03,279
This is an abyss.
136
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,323
- I have a lot of questions.
- Really?
137
00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:08,327
I thought the big hole would
have answered most of them.
138
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:14,207
I was expecting
more "holy crap!"
139
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:17,710
and less hole of crap.
140
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,838
You don't, uh--
You don't like the hole?
141
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,924
It's not that
I don't like the hole.
142
00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:26,385
I just prefer things
to have a bottom.
143
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,596
You've got some nerve.
144
00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:30,681
Do you want your courtroom clean
or not?
145
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:33,976
Clean! Definitely.
She didn't mean anything by it.
146
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:35,353
She loves the hole.
147
00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,105
Abby, tell her
you love the hole.
148
00:06:37,106 --> 00:06:39,857
It's just a bit of a letdown.
149
00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:41,526
I guess I was expecting more
from you.
150
00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:43,903
You were expecting more
from me?
151
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:47,698
This is the second conversation
we've ever had.
152
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:51,077
Ohh, you trash-makers
are all the same.
153
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,704
Nothing but complaints
with no appreciation.
154
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,998
Well, you know what?
We're not taking it anymore.
155
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:58,584
Giuseppe, stand down!
156
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,838
We're on strike.
157
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,716
I know there are
bigger issues right now,
158
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,135
but are we just going to ignore
159
00:07:07,136 --> 00:07:09,429
that that guy's name
is Giuseppe?
160
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:19,230
Okay, the custodians
joined the garbage strike
161
00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:21,357
after I ever so slightly
162
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:24,235
questioned their
waste-disposal methods.
163
00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:28,614
Abby, don't tell me
you spoke ill of the hole.
164
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:29,991
You knew about the hole?
165
00:07:29,992 --> 00:07:32,243
Everybody knows about the hole.
166
00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:33,828
This is just like
when no one explained
167
00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:35,621
what brat summer was.
168
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,331
I went around asking,
"Is this brat? Is this brat?"
169
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:40,585
It never was.
170
00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:43,212
But it's okay,
because I designed a system
171
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:46,465
to keep this place clean
that is both fair and fun.
172
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,717
Let me guess.
You made a wheel.
173
00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:51,012
I made a wheel!
174
00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:53,055
Wyatt, would you like
to spin first?
175
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:56,142
Come on,
"de-louse the gallery."
176
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,019
And what do we do
with the garbage we collect?
177
00:07:58,020 --> 00:08:00,813
- Flobert's got that covered.
- I have a guy.
178
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:04,275
Really? We're all fine
with that explanation?
179
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:05,818
Flobert does have
a lot of guys.
180
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,403
One of them shortens my robes
181
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:09,323
and uses the extra
for headbands.
182
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,702
"Dance it out."
Well, what's that?
183
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,495
It's when you dance it out
for 30 seconds.
184
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,372
It's a fun one.
185
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:20,291
I don't want a fun one.
186
00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:24,754
I want to hear the bacteria
scream as I send them to hell!
187
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:26,673
But first, dancing.
188
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,473
I'm amazed how effective
those ear drops are.
189
00:08:35,474 --> 00:08:37,725
I mean, I have
not smelled a thing all day,
190
00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:40,853
and I'm starting to get
a handle on those side effects.
191
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,315
Out, beast!
192
00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:49,987
You all missed
a hell of a good time.
193
00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:52,490
We went to a crowd-free
Statue of Liberty
194
00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:54,909
and dined alone at Le Bernardin.
195
00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:58,204
And without tourists,
Times Square is healing itself
196
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,957
and returning
to its natural state.
197
00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:04,001
Porno theaters are back.
198
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,128
- What's going on here?
- You know what?
199
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:07,546
I'm going to assume that Abby
200
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,090
somehow pissed off
the hole lady
201
00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:12,051
and now she refuses to clean.
202
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,720
But she's come up with
a fun solution
203
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,598
that Wyatt is now trapped in.
204
00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:19,517
30 seconds must be up by now.
205
00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:21,602
You better not be counting
in Mississippis.
206
00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,355
There's no other way to count.
207
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,316
Strike! Strike!
Strike!
208
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:31,112
Excuse me.
Gurgs, Gurgs, we need to talk.
209
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,489
My garbage guy fell through.
210
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,992
I don't understand.
He's usually so reliable.
211
00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:38,452
Every Tuesday, 8:00 a.m.,
he comes by
212
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:43,249
in his big green truck that
says "Sanitation" on the side.
213
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:46,627
So your garbage guy
was just a garbageman?
214
00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:49,213
You gotta help me figure out
what to do with all the trash.
215
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,632
I can't keep driving it out
to the middle of the East River
216
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,426
on my Sea-Doo.
217
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:54,969
This one's ready for you,
Flobert.
218
00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:57,013
And I am ready for it.
219
00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:01,142
I ain't ready for it.
220
00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:03,894
Alright, I'll help,
but I'm not doing it for you.
221
00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:05,856
I'm doing it for the Sea-Doo.
222
00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:11,027
Wow, this place looks great.
223
00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:14,030
The floor doesn't look
like it chain smokes.
224
00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:16,866
Way to go, mop star.
- I didn't mop anything.
225
00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:18,617
I'm actually trying to figure
out what I'm gonna do tomorrow.
226
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:19,869
I can finally walk
along the Hudson
227
00:10:19,870 --> 00:10:22,496
without smelling New Jersey.
228
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:24,040
Still have to see it, though.
229
00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:26,250
I'll just take my glasses off.
230
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,502
Wait. When you spun the wheel,
you got "mop the floors."
231
00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,546
So if you didn't do it,
then who--
232
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:33,175
Wyatt.
- I knew he'd do it wrong!
233
00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:37,094
Abby, look, I consider
myself a reasonable man.
234
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,013
Someone walk in behind me,
I'll hold the door.
235
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:40,848
I see someone walk into a door,
236
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:43,476
I'll wait to laugh
until they're gone.
237
00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:46,395
But cleaning the courthouse
when it's not part of my job
238
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,647
is a line I will not cross.
239
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,649
Oh, you hear that?
240
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,444
The fancy one won't cross
the picket line.
241
00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:55,738
He's on our side!
242
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:57,531
Uh, yeah, that's right.
243
00:10:57,532 --> 00:11:02,036
I'm not cleaning
for noble reasons.
244
00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:03,496
You are so full of it.
245
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,206
And you laughed immediately
246
00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:07,626
when I walked into that door
you didn't hold for me.
247
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,545
Bert, what can I do to fix this?
- Oh, typical.
248
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:14,465
You only care about us
when the garbage hits the fan.
249
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:16,717
You never ask us
about our hopes, our dreams,
250
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:18,969
our pet alligators.
251
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:22,223
Oh, right. Yeah.
How is the little green fella?
252
00:11:22,224 --> 00:11:26,894
She has a name, and it's Todd.
253
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:29,480
Guess this guy is the only one
who cares.
254
00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:31,482
He doesn't care.
He's just lazy.
255
00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:32,775
I'll prove it.
256
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:35,486
What's her name?
257
00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:37,113
Comrade.
258
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,864
Fancy man!
259
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:42,410
Fancy man!
Fancy man!
260
00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:48,124
My first edict as king
will be to banish the wheel.
261
00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:50,502
I hope you fall in the hole.
262
00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:57,508
Okay, okay, so Dan is
the face of a revolution,
263
00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:59,468
and we're low
on cleaning supplies.
264
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,345
Though I did read
that human urine
265
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:05,641
is a powerful cleansing agent,
so keep hydrating.
266
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,893
And I'm testing the limits
of how much a human hand
267
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,603
can be exposed to lye.
268
00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:11,440
It's minimal to none.
269
00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:18,696
Tell me that's normal.
270
00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:21,116
Tell me that's how Postmates
delivers now.
271
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:24,869
What is going on here?
272
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:26,579
Murray's garbage guy
fell through.
273
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:27,913
So to get rid of the garbage,
274
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:30,583
we're floating it
out the window.
275
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:35,421
If my calculations are correct,
and I know they are,
276
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,256
this should be landing gently
277
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,175
in the Passaic County
Transfer Station
278
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:42,136
in T-minus four hours.
279
00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:44,764
Fly true, bag of turkey bones.
280
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,310
This is how you're
getting rid of our garbage?
281
00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:51,645
The plot of "Up"?
282
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,981
We are so screwed.
283
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,900
You have to make things right
with Bert.
284
00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:57,443
What do you want me to do?
285
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,111
You saw the way
she snapped at me.
286
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,946
That was worse than the time
I asked Dan
287
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:04,116
if he had Olympic fever.
288
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,659
I think there's something else
going on with her.
289
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,536
What are you saying?
290
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,288
The strange lady who throws
all the trash in a mystery hole
291
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,666
might have a complicated
personal life?
292
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:15,044
I guess I really don't know
anything about Bert.
293
00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:18,131
In my phone, she's just
"in case you spill again."
294
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,259
Maybe I am a jerk.
I mean, she knows about us.
295
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:24,011
She even knew
I was a Sagittarius.
296
00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:25,638
Which is crazy,
because I work so hard
297
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:29,058
to lead with my Libra moon
and Virgo rising.
298
00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:30,976
Well, she handles our garbage.
299
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:33,562
You could probably learn a lot
about someone from their trash.
300
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,272
Wyatt, you're a genius.
301
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:36,649
We have to go through
her garbage.
302
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,651
No, that's not on the wheel.
303
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:41,278
And I only answer
to the wheel now.
304
00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:43,030
Don't you see?
305
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,823
This is how we're gonna
find out what's bothering her
306
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,700
and why she's being so brat.
307
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:48,827
Still not right.
308
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:52,164
Wow, you can learn a lot
about someone from their trash.
309
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,416
Like this guy's wife
is definitely cheating on him.
310
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:57,169
Oh, man, what a loser.
311
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,423
Oh, wait.
That's-- That's my trash.
312
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:04,260
You know,
I just want to thank you
313
00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:06,262
for welcoming me with open arms
314
00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:09,473
and open boxes of baked goods.
315
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:13,602
No one will support you more
by cleaning less.
316
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:16,605
Oh, I stand with you.
I see you.
317
00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:19,608
I-- Oh! Mm.
318
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:22,611
I'm starting to smell you.
Um, you know what?
319
00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:24,613
Excuse me. Go ahead.
Strike, strike, strike, strike.
320
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,282
Strike, strike. Strike.
321
00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:28,492
Oh, Julianne, the--
the drops are wearing off.
322
00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:30,911
I need a hit.
- So this is where you've been?
323
00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:33,205
I had to go to that
Times Square porno theater
324
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,791
all by myself like a weirdo.
325
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:38,168
I was the only one
who stayed through the credits.
326
00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:40,212
I mean, people
really have no appreciation
327
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,506
for how much work
goes into those films.
328
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:44,466
Fine, fine.
No, this is where the perks are.
329
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:47,511
These-- These garbage jockeys
can get me sanitation plates.
330
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:50,598
I'll be able to block
any fire hydrant in the city.
331
00:14:50,599 --> 00:14:52,099
This wasn't the deal.
332
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,101
No, I didn't share my stash
with you
333
00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:58,230
so that you could be the
Che Guevara of the hole people.
334
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:01,192
They've already put my face
on a shirt.
335
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,403
Uh-huh.
No, Julianne, please.
336
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,487
Look, look, look, look, look.
337
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,990
I just need just a taste
338
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,492
of that sweet ear juice.
339
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,161
Just-- Just to get me
through the day.
340
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:14,538
Come on, baby,
come on, you know.
341
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:17,499
We've had some good times
together, haven't we?
342
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:20,502
Oh, Dan,
I hate seeing you like this.
343
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:22,630
But if you really gotta
have the drops...
344
00:15:22,631 --> 00:15:23,964
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
345
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:25,799
...then they're right... here.
346
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,469
What? Yes.
347
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:39,229
Will you just get in?
348
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:42,232
It's cleaner
than most subway cars.
349
00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:43,776
I need your wingspan.
350
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:45,152
It'll take forever
to find Bert's garbage
351
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:47,488
with my T-Rex arms.
352
00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:49,073
Perhaps I should have
said this earlier,
353
00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:51,533
but a major characteristic
of germophobia
354
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:54,078
is not wanting to jump
in dumpsters.
355
00:15:54,079 --> 00:15:55,746
If you don't want to help me,
356
00:15:55,747 --> 00:15:57,665
you should at least get in here
to help yourself.
357
00:15:57,666 --> 00:16:01,710
You clearly have control issues.
You need to embrace the chaos.
358
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:05,923
Counterpoint--
You have deli meat on your neck.
359
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:07,424
Okay, fine.
360
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:09,677
Just trying to help.
361
00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:11,970
Aah! Aah! Wyatt, help!
362
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:15,432
There's a trash monster,
and it's pulling me down!
363
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,476
Jump in and help me!
364
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:21,146
Nice try, but everyone knows
the garbage monster
365
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:22,981
would eat the black guy first.
366
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,275
Forget it.
Sorry I bothered you.
367
00:16:26,778 --> 00:16:28,529
God.
368
00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:30,989
I think I'm caught on something.
369
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:34,159
My foot's stuck.
I-I can't move.
370
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,286
Oh, oh.
You're telling the truth.
371
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:38,122
Uh, okay.
372
00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:40,416
Try to reach your leg
with your mouth.
373
00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:41,917
You can chew it off.
374
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,585
Wyatt!
375
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,629
Alright.
376
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,549
Give me your hand.
377
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:51,678
- Oh, I'm loose.
- Aah!
378
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:55,973
You did it!
379
00:16:55,974 --> 00:16:58,559
Why are you doing this to me?!
380
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,686
I played your game.
I spun your wheel.
381
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,229
I danced for you eight times
382
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:03,897
and came up with a new move
every time.
383
00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:05,524
The running man,
the jogging man,
384
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,151
and the walking man
are the same dance.
385
00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:09,820
You were just getting tired.
386
00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:13,073
You couldn't let me just have
one thing that I'm weird about.
387
00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,658
Now I'm in a dumpster.
388
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:18,704
I'm covered in trash,
and it's disgusting.
389
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:23,542
But I guess it hasn't killed me,
which is nice.
390
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:26,754
You know what?
I don't hate that fuzzy lamp.
391
00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:28,672
I believe that's a squirrel
who choked on a light bulb.
392
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,967
We're just gonna cover that
with some trash.
393
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,219
Julianne! Julianne!
394
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:35,929
Alright, one move
and these drops
395
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:37,347
get dropped into the dropster.
396
00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:38,891
What?
397
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,809
Dumpster.
398
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,644
Oh, I knew
I couldn't trust you.
399
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:45,189
The real day terror
was you all along.
400
00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:46,857
Oh, no, this is on you, Dan.
401
00:17:46,858 --> 00:17:49,568
'Cause you lost sight
of what's important.
402
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:52,362
But instead, it's come to this.
403
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,991
Aah! No!
404
00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:00,120
Julianne, you still up there?
405
00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:03,415
I seem to be stuck halfway down.
406
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:06,668
Ah, but in so many ways...
407
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:08,670
you've already hit bottom.
408
00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:19,056
Oh, wait a second.
409
00:18:19,057 --> 00:18:21,099
I think this is Bert's trash.
410
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,353
It's filled
with condolence cards.
411
00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:27,147
"My deepest sympathies
for Todd."
412
00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:28,732
Her alligator died.
This is great.
413
00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:30,275
I mean, not great
that it's dead,
414
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,319
great that we know
what's bothering her.
415
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:35,280
Abby, is that you?
416
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:38,033
Dan? What are you doing
in the trash chute?
417
00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:40,786
Oh, just chillin'.
418
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,247
If you see
any expired ear medication,
419
00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:46,750
could you be a dear
and just throw it up here?
420
00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:53,799
I really appreciate
you doing this, Judge.
421
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,176
It's exactly what Todd
would have wanted.
422
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,942
We are gathered here today
to honor the memory
423
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,527
of Todd the alligator.
424
00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:15,195
If she was here,
she would remind us
425
00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:17,948
to appreciate all
the special people in our lives,
426
00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:22,703
whether it be friends,
alligators, or co-workers.
427
00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:24,288
Actually, if she were here,
428
00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:27,791
she would try
to violently maul all of us.
429
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,168
God, I miss her.
430
00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:35,049
She was a former
military alligator.
431
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,720
See you later, alligator.
432
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,182
Well, as a Louisianan,
433
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,018
I've been to a lot
of alligator funerals.
434
00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:48,687
And this one is right up there.
435
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:51,523
Yeah, but I bet those
didn't end a janitors' strike.
436
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,191
Now if only there was something
we could do
437
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,985
about the garbage strike.
438
00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:57,696
Actually, word on the street
is the strike is over.
439
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,489
How do you know that?
440
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:01,074
I found a hearing aid
in the dumpster,
441
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:03,952
so I can hear people talking
on the street.
442
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:07,164
I like to think we made it
possible in some small way.
443
00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:09,082
Oh, we made it possible
in a big way
444
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:11,668
when our trash balloons started
exploding all over the city.
445
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:15,047
Yeah, nothing like a bunch
of trash falling from the sky
446
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:18,216
to get people back
to the bargaining table.
447
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,427
I guess you hurled yourself
into that trash chute
448
00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:22,721
for nothing.
- Well, no, not for nothing.
449
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:26,892
Once I hit the dumpster,
I found this cool lamp.
450
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:30,646
Also, spending the day
with you was, um, enjoyable.
451
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:34,191
We should do it again.
Next garbage strike.
452
00:20:34,192 --> 00:20:37,110
I'll hold on to the bottle
just in case.
453
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:39,780
You know, the beauty
of expired ear medication
454
00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:43,075
is that it just keeps on
getting more expired.
455
00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:47,537
That's weird. The cello case
is stuck on something.
456
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:49,290
I think it's a power line.
457
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:54,170
{\an8}Yep, it's a power line.
458
00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:57,130
{\an8}I'm hearing two Con Ed guys
459
00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:59,383
{\an8}have a conversation
in an elevator.
460
00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:02,844
{\an8}Seems there's
a citywide blackout.
461
00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:05,847
{\an8}Oh, and they're in love.
462
00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:07,516
{\an8}What do you say, Dan?
463
00:21:07,517 --> 00:21:09,768
{\an8}You want to hit up a bar
and get some free drinks?
464
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,395
{\an8}Yeah. Yeah. Sure, sure, sure.
Why not?
465
00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:12,813
{\an8}You know what?
Bring the drops.
466
00:21:12,814 --> 00:21:15,399
{\an8}Might as well make it
psychedelic.
467
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:16,942
{\an8}Oh, get your hand--
468
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:20,071
{\an8}Sting, is that you?
35365
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