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1
00:00:07,563 --> 00:00:09,394
- Good evening, Liz.
- Hi, Dan.
2
00:00:10,132 --> 00:00:12,532
Saw you on the Perry Como special.
3
00:00:12,701 --> 00:00:14,692
Great.
4
00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:20,640
Hey, Carla B.,
how'd you like to see a trick?
5
00:00:20,809 --> 00:00:23,403
Sorry. It's my night off.
6
00:00:25,281 --> 00:00:27,841
Your Honor, we're ready to begin.
7
00:00:28,018 --> 00:00:30,987
I hold in my hand
an ordinary magic ball.
8
00:00:31,154 --> 00:00:34,885
I hold in my hand a caseload
that would choke a horse.
9
00:00:35,658 --> 00:00:38,991
- I put the ball in my hand like this.
- Yeah, we're really busy tonight...
10
00:00:39,162 --> 00:00:41,653
Now, watch.
Now, I shuffle up my hands.
11
00:00:41,831 --> 00:00:43,423
- I got a little headache too.
- Yeah.
12
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:46,125
And then, you gotta guess
which hand is the ball in.
13
00:00:46,302 --> 00:00:48,327
- Your Honor, we're all set.
- Fine.
14
00:00:48,972 --> 00:00:50,667
- Which hand?
- Your Honor, I don't...
15
00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:55,004
Please guess, or we'll all grow
old and die here.
16
00:00:58,315 --> 00:00:59,976
- This one.
- Wrong.
17
00:01:00,551 --> 00:01:03,918
I can see it, you know,
kind of in between your fingers there.
18
00:01:04,088 --> 00:01:05,988
- Damn.
- We didn't see anything.
19
00:01:06,157 --> 00:01:08,853
- I didn't see it. It was perfect.
- I didn't see it.
20
00:01:09,427 --> 00:01:13,295
- Shall I call the first case, Your Honor?
- Ready when you are, CB.
21
00:01:17,768 --> 00:01:21,033
- Dan, it wasn't that funny.
- I know.
22
00:01:21,205 --> 00:01:23,537
- Bull.
- Right.
23
00:01:26,977 --> 00:01:30,003
Well, I think this fellow needs
no introduction.
24
00:01:30,181 --> 00:01:33,208
- Thanks, Harry.
- You remembered.
25
00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:35,945
- Anything else, Your Honor?
- No, thanks, Bull.
26
00:01:36,121 --> 00:01:38,521
- I was just doing my job.
- Oh, that's all right, son.
27
00:01:38,690 --> 00:01:42,319
Don't worry, and thanks again
for the nice letter.
28
00:01:43,829 --> 00:01:47,094
- Yeah.
- A John Doe, Your Honor.
29
00:01:47,265 --> 00:01:50,166
He refuses to give any other name
other than Santa Claus.
30
00:01:50,335 --> 00:01:52,496
The police are still checking
his fingerprints.
31
00:01:52,671 --> 00:01:54,696
- What's the charge?
- Trespassing, Your Honor.
32
00:01:54,873 --> 00:01:57,103
Security guards
at Redfield's department store...
33
00:01:57,275 --> 00:02:00,608
...found him and a couple of other
derelicts sleeping there after hours.
34
00:02:00,779 --> 00:02:04,579
Your Honor, I object to the prosecution
referring to my client as "derelict."
35
00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:10,211
All Santa had in his bag was a box
of Chiclets and a half-empty bottle of gin.
36
00:02:10,389 --> 00:02:14,052
Firing up the old yule log, eh, Mr. Claus?
37
00:02:14,794 --> 00:02:16,625
Well, sure, I had a couple of blasts.
38
00:02:16,796 --> 00:02:20,095
Always takes me a couple of weeks
to wind down after Christmas.
39
00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:23,633
But then, come March,
I'm back to work already.
40
00:02:23,803 --> 00:02:28,763
Production meetings,
toy conventions, zip codes to update.
41
00:02:29,375 --> 00:02:32,970
What's the matter? Can't your
little elves take some of the load off?
42
00:02:33,146 --> 00:02:37,105
Danny, there was some messy little
business with a doll when you were eight.
43
00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:39,946
Don't make me bring it up.
44
00:02:40,521 --> 00:02:41,749
Mr. Claus.
45
00:02:41,922 --> 00:02:43,514
Mr. Claus.
46
00:02:43,690 --> 00:02:47,592
I want you to know that when it comes
to fantasies, legends, myths...
47
00:02:47,761 --> 00:02:51,060
...I don't think there's anyone
in the world who believes more than I.
48
00:02:51,231 --> 00:02:52,664
Right, Mr. Fielding?
49
00:02:52,833 --> 00:02:55,199
You're a mythical kind of guy,
Your Honor.
50
00:02:55,369 --> 00:02:57,496
Right, but I'm also a judge.
51
00:02:57,671 --> 00:03:01,368
And as a judge, I think we could settle
this matter quickly and equitably...
52
00:03:01,542 --> 00:03:03,772
...if you would just give us
your real name.
53
00:03:03,944 --> 00:03:06,708
- Elizabeth.
- He's right. It would be easier.
54
00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:08,279
You're my defense attorney.
55
00:03:08,448 --> 00:03:12,680
- Don't you believe that I'm Santa Claus?
- Oh, I do. I mean, I would like to.
56
00:03:12,854 --> 00:03:16,620
- I really would.
- We all would. Believe me.
57
00:03:16,791 --> 00:03:21,626
But unfortunately that is part
of the price we paid for growing up.
58
00:03:21,796 --> 00:03:24,822
- The prisoner's status sheet, Your Honor.
- Thank you.
59
00:03:24,999 --> 00:03:26,796
Hi.
60
00:03:27,902 --> 00:03:29,927
- Hi.
- I'm Santa Claus.
61
00:03:30,104 --> 00:03:33,198
I'm the Easter Bunny. We'll have lunch.
62
00:04:16,652 --> 00:04:21,647
And believe me, boy,
Rudolph didn't like that one little bit.
63
00:04:23,493 --> 00:04:24,858
That's funny.
64
00:04:25,262 --> 00:04:27,958
Carla B., right?
65
00:04:28,465 --> 00:04:34,404
It's a fine line between
naughty and nice, isn't it?
66
00:04:34,938 --> 00:04:36,530
That's quite a group of admirers...
67
00:04:36,706 --> 00:04:38,196
...Santa has over there.
- Yeah.
68
00:04:38,375 --> 00:04:42,402
- Any more from the police on his identity?
- Not yet.
69
00:04:42,579 --> 00:04:44,376
He's a cute old guy though, isn't he?
70
00:04:44,547 --> 00:04:47,914
A right, jolly old elf, almost.
71
00:04:48,585 --> 00:04:51,554
It's funny, isn't it, how he seems
to know all of our names.
72
00:04:51,721 --> 00:04:52,949
Yeah, it is.
73
00:04:53,123 --> 00:04:54,716
- There are nameplates.
- Yeah, but...
74
00:04:54,892 --> 00:04:56,223
- And badges.
- Sure. However...
75
00:04:56,394 --> 00:04:58,487
Our names are published
in the daily calendar.
76
00:04:58,663 --> 00:05:00,130
Okay, okay.
77
00:05:00,398 --> 00:05:02,161
One more case before lunch,
Your Honor.
78
00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:05,427
- Well, then let's roll.
- Okay. Bring the kids in.
79
00:05:10,474 --> 00:05:13,443
- What have we got here?
- More unknowns I'm afraid, Your Honor.
80
00:05:13,611 --> 00:05:17,103
They were picked up for shoplifting
and refuse to give their names.
81
00:05:17,281 --> 00:05:18,873
Probably runaways.
82
00:05:19,617 --> 00:05:22,279
Hi. I'm Judge Stone. And you're?
83
00:05:22,453 --> 00:05:24,318
Batman.
84
00:05:25,823 --> 00:05:28,486
This is my old lady, Wonder Woman.
85
00:05:29,227 --> 00:05:32,287
Permission to smack him
around a little, Your Honor.
86
00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:39,166
Denied, but the court sympathizes,
Mr. Prosecutor. What's the story?
87
00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:42,535
They were apprehended leaving
a grocery store with unpurchased items.
88
00:05:42,708 --> 00:05:48,340
He had a streusel in his pants,
and she had a blouse full of Fritos.
89
00:05:49,481 --> 00:05:52,279
Never occurred to you
to steal an entr�e, huh?
90
00:05:52,451 --> 00:05:54,715
- Look, spare us the lectures, okay?
- Eddie.
91
00:05:54,886 --> 00:05:59,289
- What did I tell you about the name stuff?
- That's all I'm gonna tell him. Don't worry.
92
00:05:59,458 --> 00:06:02,895
- Eddie. Eddie what?
- Cleaver.
93
00:06:03,062 --> 00:06:06,225
Perhaps you know my brothers,
Wally and the Beav.
94
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,726
Just a few minutes alone with him.
That's all.
95
00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:13,734
What is your name, young lady?
96
00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:17,798
- Mary.
- Enough with the names already.
97
00:06:17,977 --> 00:06:21,674
Just tell us your full names and where
you live, so we can contact your parents.
98
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,907
Our parents don't care any more
about us than you do...
99
00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:27,416
...so why don't we quit
wasting time and get on...
100
00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:30,954
Young man, you're in court,
and that's no way to talk to a judge.
101
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:32,523
Eddie's right.
102
00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:35,685
Nobody cares about us except us...
103
00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:38,195
...and that's why we're getting married.
104
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,759
You look a little young
to be getting married.
105
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:46,064
You look a little young to be a judge.
106
00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:51,442
- Touch�, you little...
- Your Honor.
107
00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:54,579
The juvenile authorities
have been notified.
108
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,216
I suggest we remand them over
to them for disposition.
109
00:06:57,384 --> 00:07:00,717
- Mr. Prosecutor.
- Uncle Dan has no objections.
110
00:07:02,423 --> 00:07:05,051
Fine. Then it is so ordered.
111
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,991
Okay, you two.
112
00:07:09,230 --> 00:07:11,494
Have you ever seen The Munsters?
113
00:07:12,767 --> 00:07:16,362
That's right. Egg him on.
114
00:07:18,139 --> 00:07:20,039
That's dinner, everybody.
115
00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:23,802
You see, in Holland...
116
00:07:23,978 --> 00:07:26,139
...I leave the presents
in the children's shoes.
117
00:07:26,314 --> 00:07:29,875
- Well, there was this one kid...
- Hey. Hey, Santa Claus.
118
00:07:30,051 --> 00:07:33,077
Why don't you tell us what it's like
up in the North Pole there.
119
00:07:33,254 --> 00:07:37,953
Bet you freeze your
sleigh bells off at night, right?
120
00:07:38,126 --> 00:07:40,151
- He's a worm.
- He's a kid.
121
00:07:40,328 --> 00:07:41,852
Someday he'll grow up.
122
00:07:42,030 --> 00:07:44,761
And be a large worm.
123
00:07:46,502 --> 00:07:49,938
Why are you so angry, young man?
124
00:07:50,473 --> 00:07:52,805
Me? I ain't angry.
125
00:07:52,975 --> 00:07:56,411
- Am I, sweetheart?
- Not to me you're not.
126
00:07:57,446 --> 00:07:59,641
What do you want me to do, gramps?
127
00:07:59,815 --> 00:08:02,477
Climb on your knee and tell you
what I want for Christmas?
128
00:08:02,651 --> 00:08:03,913
If you'd like.
129
00:08:04,954 --> 00:08:06,285
If I'd like?
130
00:08:06,455 --> 00:08:08,514
Hey, somebody get this
twinkie away from me.
131
00:08:08,691 --> 00:08:10,784
Hey! That'll be enough out of you.
132
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:14,487
This is my courtroom and you
will treat people with respect.
133
00:08:14,663 --> 00:08:16,655
This nut thinks he's Santa Claus.
134
00:08:16,833 --> 00:08:18,733
Well, how do you know he isn't?
135
00:08:18,902 --> 00:08:21,769
I think I've seen this on
The Twilight Zone.
136
00:08:22,072 --> 00:08:24,438
Kids, maybe we got off
on the wrong foot earlier.
137
00:08:24,608 --> 00:08:27,008
You wanna have some fun?
Here. Here's a magic ball.
138
00:08:27,177 --> 00:08:32,410
Now, I put it in my hand,
and then I get some magic powder...
139
00:08:33,116 --> 00:08:35,277
...then I sprinkle it on the ball
and it's gone.
140
00:08:35,452 --> 00:08:37,784
Where'd the ball go?
141
00:08:40,323 --> 00:08:41,688
In your pocket.
142
00:08:42,893 --> 00:08:45,054
In your ear.
143
00:08:45,228 --> 00:08:48,391
Oh, judge, don't get angry at him.
He's not a bad boy.
144
00:08:48,565 --> 00:08:51,126
He's just a little frustrated,
that's all. Believe me...
145
00:08:51,302 --> 00:08:54,465
...l've seen it a million times before.
146
00:08:55,006 --> 00:08:59,409
Eddie, is he really Santa Claus?
147
00:08:59,577 --> 00:09:03,240
Oh, sure he is. Look, look.
He's got a red suit. He's got a beard.
148
00:09:03,414 --> 00:09:04,847
You need more proof than that?
149
00:09:05,016 --> 00:09:07,484
You know, it's all right
for you not to believe in me.
150
00:09:07,652 --> 00:09:13,818
It really is, because the important
thing is that I believe in you.
151
00:09:14,258 --> 00:09:18,194
- What is that supposed to mean?
- Well, it means I care.
152
00:09:18,362 --> 00:09:20,353
That's all.
153
00:09:20,531 --> 00:09:22,590
Oh, sure. How comforting!
154
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:25,592
I can smell the booze on you from here.
155
00:09:26,138 --> 00:09:28,163
What am I supposed to do?
Jump up and down...
156
00:09:28,340 --> 00:09:31,002
...because some wino
in a red suit tells me he cares?
157
00:09:31,176 --> 00:09:33,872
- I do care!
- Maybe a game of charades would be fun.
158
00:09:34,046 --> 00:09:36,139
You can laugh at me all you want.
159
00:09:36,315 --> 00:09:39,580
All of you disbelievers
can laugh all you want!
160
00:09:39,751 --> 00:09:42,447
But don't tell me I don't care!
161
00:09:42,621 --> 00:09:46,387
Don't anybody ever tell me
I don't care!
162
00:09:47,426 --> 00:09:51,795
- What happened?
- Get back, people. Give him some air.
163
00:09:51,964 --> 00:09:54,125
It's all right. I'll be...
164
00:09:54,299 --> 00:09:56,494
I'll be fine.
165
00:09:57,804 --> 00:10:01,604
Listen, if I don't make it, tell...
166
00:10:02,575 --> 00:10:05,806
Tell Frosty goodbye.
167
00:10:07,714 --> 00:10:10,649
I'm just kidding. Get a doctor.
168
00:10:16,756 --> 00:10:18,656
Well.
169
00:10:18,825 --> 00:10:21,225
Just let him rest awhile
and he should be all right.
170
00:10:21,394 --> 00:10:24,625
This kind of heart condition,
there's not much more you can do.
171
00:10:24,797 --> 00:10:26,594
- I told him.
- I'm sorry.
172
00:10:26,766 --> 00:10:29,792
It just sounds better coming
from him. Thanks, doc.
173
00:10:29,969 --> 00:10:32,700
- I'm glad you were in the building.
- Glad I could help.
174
00:10:32,873 --> 00:10:35,000
Take care, Santa.
175
00:10:35,175 --> 00:10:36,472
Say...
176
00:10:36,644 --> 00:10:39,579
...do you like that new putter
your wife got you for Christmas?
177
00:10:41,382 --> 00:10:43,282
Oh, yeah. It's great.
178
00:10:43,450 --> 00:10:45,418
Thanks.
179
00:10:49,556 --> 00:10:52,047
Now do you believe me, young man?
180
00:10:52,226 --> 00:10:55,389
He's a doctor. What else
is he gonna get for Christmas?
181
00:10:55,929 --> 00:10:57,419
Harry...
182
00:10:58,232 --> 00:11:00,928
...you know who I am now.
183
00:11:01,101 --> 00:11:02,932
Don't you?
184
00:11:06,574 --> 00:11:08,439
Let me show you a trick
with a red ball.
185
00:11:08,610 --> 00:11:10,202
Harry...
186
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:13,506
...I am Santa Claus.
187
00:11:15,450 --> 00:11:19,079
- Okay. Okay, you're Santa Claus.
- No, I mean, the one...
188
00:11:19,254 --> 00:11:23,623
...the only, the true Santa Claus.
189
00:11:24,192 --> 00:11:28,492
If you mean the personification
of the spirit of Christmas...
190
00:11:28,663 --> 00:11:32,394
...then, yeah. I think you
and a couple of others do fit the bill.
191
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:36,196
Now you're on the right track,
only there are no others.
192
00:11:36,371 --> 00:11:39,899
There's only one at a time,
and when his time has passed...
193
00:11:40,076 --> 00:11:43,409
...like mine almost is...
194
00:11:44,013 --> 00:11:46,811
...he passes it on.
195
00:11:48,117 --> 00:11:50,210
He passes what on?
196
00:11:50,386 --> 00:11:53,685
The power, the spirit.
197
00:11:53,856 --> 00:11:55,847
The door.
198
00:12:00,629 --> 00:12:03,189
- How is he?
- Spooky.
199
00:12:03,966 --> 00:12:07,367
Did I mention the ability to hear
the slightest sounds and read thoughts?
200
00:12:07,536 --> 00:12:10,369
No, you hadn't gotten to that part yet.
201
00:12:10,539 --> 00:12:12,030
Okay.
202
00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:14,803
What's going on?
What are you two talking about?
203
00:12:14,978 --> 00:12:18,778
I was telling the judge
about my search for a...
204
00:12:18,949 --> 00:12:20,940
...replacement.
205
00:12:21,118 --> 00:12:23,609
Replacement for what?
206
00:12:23,787 --> 00:12:25,516
- Harry.
- Right.
207
00:12:25,689 --> 00:12:28,556
You read minds. I forgot.
208
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,757
Hey, you.
209
00:12:37,033 --> 00:12:39,558
Hey, me?
210
00:12:40,003 --> 00:12:41,664
Yeah.
211
00:12:41,838 --> 00:12:44,534
- How's the old man doing?
- I don't know.
212
00:12:45,008 --> 00:12:48,342
Sure, he's nuts and all, but I didn't
mean him no harm or nothing.
213
00:12:48,513 --> 00:12:50,743
No, of course not.
214
00:12:50,915 --> 00:12:55,249
Mister, what do you think we are,
animals or something?
215
00:12:55,419 --> 00:12:59,116
I have no proof,
if that's what you mean.
216
00:13:03,127 --> 00:13:05,857
Wanna have some fun?
217
00:13:06,931 --> 00:13:11,265
Go and tease Bull about his hair.
218
00:13:14,272 --> 00:13:17,002
He loves it, really.
219
00:13:21,547 --> 00:13:24,243
Your Honor, we got the identification
on the two runaways.
220
00:13:24,416 --> 00:13:27,681
- Police just sent this over.
- Well, there's one mystery unraveled.
221
00:13:27,853 --> 00:13:30,151
- Selma, go ask Bull to bring the kids in.
- Right.
222
00:13:30,322 --> 00:13:32,847
- There you go.
- Harry, may I have that?
223
00:13:33,025 --> 00:13:35,289
- Why?
- I just thought, you see...
224
00:13:35,460 --> 00:13:38,725
...if those kids don't know
about that report...
225
00:13:38,897 --> 00:13:43,334
...and I still manage
to know their identities...
226
00:13:43,502 --> 00:13:45,493
Then they might believe
in Santa Claus.
227
00:13:45,671 --> 00:13:48,401
They might believe in something.
That'd be a start.
228
00:13:48,574 --> 00:13:50,974
And it'd make a sick,
old man happy.
229
00:13:51,143 --> 00:13:55,547
Come on, judge. Just to see the look
on their faces would be worth it.
230
00:13:55,715 --> 00:13:58,912
Oh, come on, Harry. It'll be so cute.
231
00:14:00,086 --> 00:14:03,249
Cute? Gee willikers, I'm all for it.
232
00:14:07,093 --> 00:14:08,822
Here you go, Your Honor.
233
00:14:09,362 --> 00:14:14,129
- What's going on here?
- Is this where we get the rubber hoses?
234
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:17,394
I told you I was just kidding about that.
235
00:14:18,338 --> 00:14:20,465
We thought we'd give
you kids another chance...
236
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:23,632
...to give us your full names
and tell us where you live.
237
00:14:23,810 --> 00:14:25,072
No way.
238
00:14:25,245 --> 00:14:28,409
Like we said, our parents
couldn't care less where we are.
239
00:14:28,582 --> 00:14:30,049
That's not true...
240
00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:32,742
...Mary Elaine Montgomery.
241
00:14:34,588 --> 00:14:37,489
- How did you know my name?
- A lot of things I know about you.
242
00:14:37,658 --> 00:14:40,855
For example, I know
that your mom and dad...
243
00:14:41,028 --> 00:14:43,019
...Art and Celeste...
244
00:14:43,197 --> 00:14:46,189
...miss you very much
and want you back home.
245
00:14:46,367 --> 00:14:47,994
- You told him.
- I did not.
246
00:14:48,168 --> 00:14:51,797
She didn't say a word, Eddie Simms.
247
00:14:52,606 --> 00:14:55,473
- You know who I am?
- 3rd and 84th, apartment 6C.
248
00:14:55,643 --> 00:14:58,111
That Eddie Simms.
249
00:14:58,279 --> 00:15:01,716
Yeah. Well, if you know that,
then you know the people who live there...
250
00:15:01,883 --> 00:15:05,444
...and call themselves my parents
don't give a damn if I come home or not.
251
00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:09,454
Eddie, I know it appears that way
right now, but believe me...
252
00:15:09,624 --> 00:15:10,955
...it's not true.
253
00:15:11,126 --> 00:15:13,390
- Yeah? How do you know?
- How did I know your name?
254
00:15:13,561 --> 00:15:15,324
How did I know your address?
255
00:15:15,497 --> 00:15:18,762
How do I know the names and addresses
of every man, woman and child...
256
00:15:18,934 --> 00:15:20,492
...in the whole world?
257
00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:26,471
How do I know that
your secret desire is to be loved...
258
00:15:26,641 --> 00:15:28,370
...to be hugged...
259
00:15:28,543 --> 00:15:30,170
...to be held...
260
00:15:30,345 --> 00:15:31,869
...to be cared for?
261
00:15:33,983 --> 00:15:35,917
That's crazy.
262
00:15:36,419 --> 00:15:38,182
It's true, Eddie.
263
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:40,049
You know it.
264
00:15:40,623 --> 00:15:42,352
You told me.
265
00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:45,983
Yeah, well, what if it is?
How do you know all that anyway?
266
00:15:46,162 --> 00:15:49,620
How do you know what goes on
in other people's heads?
267
00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:52,225
Because I'm Santa Claus.
268
00:15:55,671 --> 00:15:59,698
- Judge Harold T. Stone?
- I'm Judge Stone.
269
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:02,571
Dr. Peter Green,
Winwood Psychiatric Center.
270
00:16:02,745 --> 00:16:05,441
- The police told me I'd find John here.
- John?
271
00:16:05,614 --> 00:16:08,607
John Stevens,
the man in the red flannel suit.
272
00:16:09,353 --> 00:16:11,844
Oh, that John Stevens.
273
00:16:12,022 --> 00:16:16,083
- Dr. Green, what a surprise.
- Hello, John.
274
00:16:16,259 --> 00:16:19,558
I feel fortunate. We usually don't
catch him this soon after Christmas.
275
00:16:19,730 --> 00:16:21,061
- You don't?
- No, every year...
276
00:16:21,231 --> 00:16:23,722
...he disappears just before Christmas.
277
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:27,563
Usually manages to elude us
till about the first of February.
278
00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:31,037
- You mean this guy's a fruitcake?
- Bull.
279
00:16:31,208 --> 00:16:33,904
I'm sorry. Alleged fruitcake?
280
00:16:35,679 --> 00:16:38,876
Well, what do you know?
281
00:16:39,049 --> 00:16:42,042
Another adult who lies about things.
282
00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:45,951
- My, my, Santa, am I ever surprised.
- Eddie, don't. He's sick.
283
00:16:46,124 --> 00:16:47,785
I know he's sick!
284
00:16:47,959 --> 00:16:49,927
I'm sick too.
285
00:16:50,094 --> 00:16:53,086
- You wanna hear something crazy?
- It's my job.
286
00:16:55,366 --> 00:16:58,130
I actually started listening
to this old coot.
287
00:16:58,302 --> 00:17:00,327
For a minute there,
I actually believed him.
288
00:17:00,505 --> 00:17:02,905
Me, Eddie Simms,
actually believed in Santa Claus.
289
00:17:03,074 --> 00:17:05,269
- Eddie...
- You're a phony, old man.
290
00:17:05,443 --> 00:17:07,070
You're a fake.
291
00:17:07,245 --> 00:17:09,941
Other people just tell lies.
You live them.
292
00:17:13,017 --> 00:17:14,644
You apologize to him.
293
00:17:14,820 --> 00:17:16,788
- What?
- I said, apologize to him!
294
00:17:16,955 --> 00:17:19,116
- For what?!
- Are you that stupid?
295
00:17:19,291 --> 00:17:21,759
I ain't saying nothing
without my attorney present.
296
00:17:21,927 --> 00:17:23,758
She's here.
297
00:17:24,863 --> 00:17:27,388
Tell him if you're stupid or not.
298
00:17:28,634 --> 00:17:30,158
That man cares for you, Eddie.
299
00:17:30,569 --> 00:17:33,504
He cares enough to take the time,
to risk his health...
300
00:17:33,672 --> 00:17:37,233
...to risk ridicule just to show you that.
301
00:17:37,409 --> 00:17:39,809
- Yeah, well, nobody asked him.
- Feels good, don't it?
302
00:17:39,978 --> 00:17:41,912
Not having to ask?
303
00:17:42,081 --> 00:17:44,208
What do you want?
You want me to say thank you?
304
00:17:44,383 --> 00:17:47,648
Okay, fine. Thank you, Santa.
Thank you. Thanks for caring.
305
00:17:47,820 --> 00:17:51,951
- Sorry, it didn't work out. Maybe next year.
- What's the point?
306
00:17:52,125 --> 00:17:53,717
Remember...
307
00:17:53,893 --> 00:17:55,656
Remember when you were 5...
308
00:17:55,829 --> 00:17:58,889
...and you were sick, and your mom
had to hold you down...
309
00:17:59,065 --> 00:18:01,533
...to get the medicine in?
310
00:18:06,039 --> 00:18:08,769
Okay, you thick-skulled,
empty-headed little creep.
311
00:18:08,942 --> 00:18:12,935
He cares for you.
Mary cares for you. I care for you.
312
00:18:13,113 --> 00:18:17,812
You are in the middle of a room
full of people that care for you.
313
00:18:17,984 --> 00:18:20,680
- Bull.
- Yeah?
314
00:18:22,356 --> 00:18:25,587
You know, I am sick of hearing
how everybody cares for me.
315
00:18:25,759 --> 00:18:28,455
I am sick of hearing the word "care"!
316
00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:32,087
It is just talk!
That's all it is! It's just talk.
317
00:18:32,266 --> 00:18:34,632
- Just talk! What are you doing?
- Come here.
318
00:18:34,802 --> 00:18:37,100
- Let me go!
- Stop squirming.
319
00:18:37,271 --> 00:18:39,466
- What are you doing?
- I'm hugging you, dummy.
320
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,507
- Let go of me. Stop. Please, stop it.
- Shut up.
321
00:18:42,676 --> 00:18:44,940
- Shut up.
- Please.
322
00:18:45,112 --> 00:18:47,171
Shut up.
323
00:18:52,286 --> 00:18:55,050
I don't understand what happened.
324
00:18:56,224 --> 00:18:58,715
- Transference.
- What?
325
00:18:58,894 --> 00:19:01,920
The object of the patient's anger
is transferred to the analyst...
326
00:19:02,097 --> 00:19:05,260
...which creates a cathartic condition
as well as fertile ground...
327
00:19:05,433 --> 00:19:08,960
...for ratiocination and self-communion.
328
00:19:09,137 --> 00:19:10,764
Yeah.
329
00:19:11,706 --> 00:19:13,867
That's what I thought.
330
00:19:16,845 --> 00:19:18,870
I'm sorry for crinkling your robe.
331
00:19:19,047 --> 00:19:21,948
Hey, two minutes in a dryer,
good as new.
332
00:19:25,887 --> 00:19:29,585
- Eddie, are you all right?
- Yeah.
333
00:19:29,759 --> 00:19:31,158
Yeah, I'm okay.
334
00:19:31,327 --> 00:19:33,852
I feel a little stupid.
335
00:19:34,497 --> 00:19:37,660
And better. Please, no more rough stuff.
336
00:19:39,268 --> 00:19:42,066
Come on, John. Let's go.
I've got a car waiting.
337
00:19:42,238 --> 00:19:44,103
This'll show my right
to guardianship...
338
00:19:44,273 --> 00:19:46,298
...in case of any question
about the charges.
339
00:19:46,475 --> 00:19:49,239
I'll remand him into your
custody now, doctor.
340
00:19:49,412 --> 00:19:52,210
I'm sure the charges will be dropped
under the circumstances.
341
00:19:52,381 --> 00:19:53,848
Ready, John?
342
00:19:56,519 --> 00:19:59,682
- Goodbye, Harry.
- Goodbye.
343
00:20:00,690 --> 00:20:04,525
You really believe
you're Santa Claus, don't you?
344
00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:08,627
Oh, I believe this is yours, isn't it?
345
00:20:11,735 --> 00:20:13,930
- Lana.
- A pleasure.
346
00:20:14,104 --> 00:20:15,765
Bull.
347
00:20:16,807 --> 00:20:18,707
Thank you, Elizabeth.
348
00:20:18,875 --> 00:20:20,342
Hey...
349
00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:23,843
...about what I said before.
- Oh, don't worry.
350
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,676
I didn't believe you either.
351
00:20:30,887 --> 00:20:32,684
Wait a minute.
352
00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:36,121
How did you know our names
and where we lived and all that other stuff?
353
00:20:36,293 --> 00:20:40,697
We got a report from the police
missing persons department.
354
00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,856
It arrived before you got here.
355
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,729
See.
356
00:20:45,403 --> 00:20:50,102
"Missing since Friday,
Ben Kurasawa, age 13...
357
00:20:50,275 --> 00:20:53,438
...and Nancy Tanaka, age 12."
358
00:20:53,611 --> 00:20:56,774
Harry, about my proposition...
359
00:20:58,182 --> 00:21:00,343
Think it over.
360
00:21:18,871 --> 00:21:22,807
More banana brandy, anyone?
361
00:21:23,809 --> 00:21:27,142
It came in that Christmas basket
with the stuff you've been munching on.
362
00:21:27,313 --> 00:21:30,578
The candied oysters were good.
363
00:21:32,951 --> 00:21:36,785
- Strange day, huh?
- Yeah.
364
00:21:37,289 --> 00:21:40,816
I'm sure there must
be an explanation for everything.
365
00:21:40,993 --> 00:21:42,927
Oh, I'm sure there must be.
366
00:21:43,095 --> 00:21:45,030
Like what?
367
00:21:45,532 --> 00:21:48,023
He overheard some policemen
talking, perhaps.
368
00:21:48,735 --> 00:21:49,963
Yeah.
369
00:21:50,136 --> 00:21:52,866
Or he picked up the phone
when we weren't looking...
370
00:21:53,039 --> 00:21:56,839
...disguised his voice,
took down the information...
371
00:21:57,010 --> 00:22:02,915
...replaced the receiver without
us noticing, and we were none the wiser.
372
00:22:04,851 --> 00:22:07,115
You will always be...
373
00:22:07,287 --> 00:22:10,120
...none the wiser.
374
00:22:17,130 --> 00:22:19,326
It's open. Come on in.
375
00:22:20,468 --> 00:22:23,028
I said, come in. It's open.
376
00:22:43,958 --> 00:22:47,621
Hey, guys. Come here.
Look at this! Look at this!
377
00:22:48,429 --> 00:22:50,192
There!
378
00:22:55,804 --> 00:22:58,272
- It's Selma.
- That'd be my guess.
379
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:02,001
- Did you see something weird in the hall?
- I'll say.
380
00:23:08,950 --> 00:23:12,750
If you think I'm cleaning that up,
you're crazy.
30061
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