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1
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Previously on Mom...
Do you remember Bonnie Plunkett?
2
00:00:03,270 --> 00:00:04,503
Bonnie.
3
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,138
I'm her daughter.
4
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:07,806
Oh, my God.
5
00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:09,308
I'm your daughter.
6
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:11,643
Yeah, yeah, I got that.
7
00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:14,179
So, did Christy tell you
about meeting her father?
8
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,548
Yeah, I thought it was great
they reconnected.
9
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:19,852
Wow. Anything to hurt me.
10
00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:21,487
What are you talking about?
11
00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:23,288
Do I need to walk you
through it again?
12
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:26,492
That rat bastard dumped me and
Christy the minute she was born.
13
00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:27,493
No, I get it.
14
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:28,494
You're angry.
15
00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:30,863
"Angry"?
I want to cut the son of a bitch
16
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:33,232
from throat to scrote.
17
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:34,867
What do you think?
18
00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:35,968
What do I think of what?
19
00:00:35,970 --> 00:00:37,202
Your new car.
20
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,637
You're kidding me.
21
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,572
No, no. I got it
at a police auction.
22
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:41,673
Cleaned it up.
23
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:42,841
Look at that door.
24
00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:44,376
You can't even see
the bullet holes.
25
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,845
Listen, I decided I don't want
to have a party.
26
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:48,680
What are you talking about?
27
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:50,082
It's a celebration.
28
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:53,252
It's fun and games
and free stuff for the baby.
29
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:54,186
I don't need it.
30
00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:55,554
Okay.
31
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:56,855
May I ask why?
32
00:00:56,857 --> 00:01:00,325
I decided to give
the baby up for adoption.
33
00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:02,561
I'm kind of liking these people.
34
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:05,264
Jeff and Suzanne Taylor.
35
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:06,598
BONNIE: So...
36
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,600
You want to adopt a baby?
37
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:10,102
Yes, we do.
38
00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:12,004
You're in luck! We have one.
39
00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:23,782
When did gay men start
designing maternity clothes?
40
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:27,086
Did you ever have a
reason to wear sequins
41
00:01:27,088 --> 00:01:28,587
while you were pregnant?
42
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,757
Mmm, not after I was
too big to pole dance.
43
00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:34,860
I still remember
the night I slid down
44
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:36,128
and couldn't get back up.
45
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,297
Seriously?
46
00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:40,432
I was like a turtle on its back.
47
00:01:43,069 --> 00:01:44,770
How you doing
in there, Violet?
48
00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:46,972
I hate my body
and I hate this dress.
49
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:49,108
Oh, come on,
it can't be that bad.
50
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:51,110
Whoa!
51
00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:53,378
Yikes.
52
00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:54,480
That's an interesting place
53
00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:56,148
to put a bow
on a pregnant girl.
54
00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:58,383
Oh, God, there's one
on her ass, too.
55
00:01:58,385 --> 00:01:59,918
Who am I kidding?
56
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,087
I can't go to prom.
57
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:03,088
Oh, honey, you got to go.
58
00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:04,223
It's such a big night.
59
00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:05,557
I look ridiculous.
60
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:06,658
Not all of you.
61
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,727
Just the middle.
62
00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:12,264
I don't care. I'm not going.
63
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:14,833
All right, well,
it's your call.
64
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:16,735
You can just stay home
with Grandma and me.
65
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,504
That would be fun.
We can hang out, get a pizza.
66
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:19,905
Maybe play a board game?
67
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:21,140
Give each other pedicures?
68
00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:22,508
Turn off the lights and
tell ghost stories.
69
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:23,575
We traced the call.
70
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,310
It's coming from inside
the house!
71
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:28,280
(both gasp)
72
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:30,516
Screw it. There's got
73
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,251
to be a dress
around here somewhere.
74
00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:35,120
Actually sounds
like a fun night.
75
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:36,188
I know.
76
00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:37,189
What happened to us?
77
00:02:37,191 --> 00:02:38,257
(sighs)
78
00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:57,276
What a treat.
79
00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:59,778
Having a cup of coffee
with my mom and my dad.
80
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:02,481
Blech!
81
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:04,216
Can't you just fake it?
82
00:03:04,218 --> 00:03:06,118
She knows how.
83
00:03:09,155 --> 00:03:11,723
And whose fault is that?
84
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:13,992
Play nice.
85
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:16,461
And ew.
86
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:18,163
So...
87
00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:20,299
how are things going
with you and Loraine?
88
00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:21,400
Not good.
89
00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:22,801
She filed for divorce.
90
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,203
Really?
91
00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:25,904
There's not a chance you
could work things out?
92
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:28,140
I went back to the house
last Saturday to see
93
00:03:28,142 --> 00:03:29,841
if we could reconcile and...
94
00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:32,477
a man I don't know
answered the door
95
00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:34,246
in my pajamas.
96
00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:37,950
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
97
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,053
Mom!
98
00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:42,487
Stop smiling.
99
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:43,889
Oh, let me have this.
100
00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:48,060
Anyway, turns out they were
high school sweethearts.
101
00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,062
Found each other online.
102
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:53,699
Tweeted their way back
into each other's pants.
103
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,934
Wow.
104
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:58,303
That has got to be so painful.
105
00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:03,242
Mom! The smile?
106
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:04,576
I didn't even realize it.
107
00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:08,113
The good news is with the boys
grown up and gone,
108
00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,348
I have no reason to be in Chico,
109
00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:11,450
so I can spend more time
with you and the kids.
110
00:04:12,552 --> 00:04:14,286
Not smiling now, are you?
111
00:04:16,856 --> 00:04:18,090
Hey.
Hey!
112
00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:20,292
Your mom tells me
you got a prom coming up.
113
00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:21,226
Mm-hmm.
114
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:22,427
That sounds like fun.
115
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,428
Yeah.
116
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,963
What's the theme?
117
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,966
"Broken condoms, broken dreams."
118
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:30,135
Ah, okay.
119
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:32,037
Well, you got a shot
at being the queen.
120
00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:35,040
Ha!
121
00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:36,241
Hang on.
122
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:38,910
When my sons went to prom,
I rented them limos.
123
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:41,246
How about I do the same
for you and your fella?
124
00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:44,049
Really?
Yeah, you got to do prom right.
125
00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:45,751
Wow. Thank you.
126
00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:47,986
You're welcome.
127
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:50,155
I'll go call my fella.
128
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,458
I got a hug.
129
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,093
The iceberg is melting.
130
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:57,462
You sicken me.
131
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,097
What did I do?
Don't be coy.
132
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:01,466
You're using money
to buy her affection.
133
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,001
And it's working.
134
00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:06,238
Why don't you try
earning her love
135
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,073
by being there, like I have?
136
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:09,541
You're kidding, right?
137
00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:14,246
You only beat him by,
like, nine months.
138
00:05:14,248 --> 00:05:16,148
Pick a side.
139
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,582
You got to pick a side.
140
00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:20,452
Bonnie, I'm just trying to do
141
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:22,321
a nice thing
for my granddaughter.
142
00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:23,822
Well, quit it.
You don't get to drop
143
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:27,159
into our lives after all these
years and make people happy.
144
00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:29,961
Are you listening to yourself?
145
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:31,763
She never listens to herself.
146
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:35,033
What's wrong with me
throwing a little money around
147
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:36,168
to help out here?
148
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:37,969
Nothing at all.
149
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:41,340
FYI: Sears is having
a sale on dishwashers.
150
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:44,309
Anything to make
your life better, baby.
151
00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:45,844
You're an evil runt.
152
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,414
Alvin, stop smiling.
153
00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:55,020
Smile.
154
00:05:57,790 --> 00:05:59,291
Here you go.
155
00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:03,128
It's blank.
Yeah, give it a minute.
156
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:04,563
(gasps)
157
00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:06,131
It's like magic.
158
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:07,366
Told ya.
159
00:06:07,368 --> 00:06:08,734
Is it a phone, too?
160
00:06:10,169 --> 00:06:12,337
Yeah, give it a try.
161
00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:14,873
(knocking on door)
162
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:18,043
Call Dad.
163
00:06:20,179 --> 00:06:22,581
Yolo.
164
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:24,716
Wow.
Right?
165
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:27,319
And check out the limo
Violet's grandpa got us.
166
00:06:27,321 --> 00:06:29,087
Uh-huh.
The guy's got class.
167
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,323
The guy's got syphilis.
168
00:06:31,325 --> 00:06:32,324
Mom...
169
00:06:32,326 --> 00:06:33,692
you can call him names,
170
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,327
but you can't make stuff up.
171
00:06:35,329 --> 00:06:38,330
Come on in, I'll
get your date.
172
00:06:38,332 --> 00:06:41,166
I said, "Call Dad."
173
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:43,769
No idea.
174
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:47,239
Violet, Luke's here.
175
00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:48,707
VIOLET:
I'm not going!
176
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,776
Very funny.
Come on, he's waiting.
177
00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:52,744
And he rented a tux.
178
00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:57,682
Tell him to go
without me.
179
00:06:57,684 --> 00:06:59,217
Do you want me to talk to her?
180
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,252
No, I'm her mother.
181
00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:01,353
I got this.
182
00:07:01,355 --> 00:07:03,922
Open the damn door, Violet!
183
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,724
No!
184
00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:07,025
Hey, I'll handle this.
185
00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:11,797
Violet, it's me, Luke.
186
00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:14,599
I brought you flowers
and the limo has Diet Snapple.
187
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:15,867
Go away!
188
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:18,370
Tapping out.
189
00:07:18,372 --> 00:07:20,572
Is something wrong
with the dress?
190
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:23,575
Something's wrong
with my life!
191
00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:25,477
There's something wrong
with all of our lives, honey.
192
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:29,147
But we still go to parties
we bought expensive dresses for.
193
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,416
Leave me alone!
194
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:32,250
Let me try.
195
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:35,387
Violet, it's Grandma.
196
00:07:35,389 --> 00:07:37,389
I-I just want you to know
that whatever you decide,
197
00:07:37,391 --> 00:07:39,991
I will be here for you
with the one thing
198
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,594
your grandfather's
money can't buy.
199
00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,162
Love.
200
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,064
You think that helped?
201
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,133
It helped me.
202
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:53,438
(knocking on window)
203
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,673
Guess who?
204
00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:58,009
What is wrong with you?
205
00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:03,448
You really should lock this.
206
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:06,485
There could be weirdos
wandering around out here.
207
00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:08,887
There are weirdos wandering
around out there.
208
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,289
What do you want?
209
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,491
All right, listen--
210
00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:13,992
I know you're feeling
self-conscious
211
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,661
about the way you look,
and you're afraid your friends
212
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,663
are gonna make fun of you,
but so what?
213
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:21,299
You've carried yourself
with dignity and grace
214
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:22,868
the whole school year.
215
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,669
And there's no reason
you should stop now.
216
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,771
Mom, that's not why...
No!
217
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:28,540
You need to get dressed,
get in the limo with Luke,
218
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,509
and go to that prom
with your head held high.
219
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:31,610
Mom, I can't...
You are a great girl!
220
00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:34,012
And there's nothing
to be ashamed of.
221
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,014
I can't go to prom
222
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,917
'cause I can't stop farting.
223
00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:41,319
Oh.
224
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:42,554
(sniffs)
225
00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:44,356
That's what that is.
226
00:08:46,392 --> 00:08:49,294
All right, well,
we can fix this.
227
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:50,395
How we doing in here?
228
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:52,497
We need perfume
and Gas-X, stat.
229
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:54,232
I'm on it.
There.
230
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,502
Is anything else bothering you?
231
00:08:57,504 --> 00:08:59,304
I guess not.
232
00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:00,906
Violet...
233
00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:03,508
I just feel like I don't have
a lot to celebrate.
234
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,076
Are you kidding?
235
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,312
You so do!
236
00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:09,381
You are gonna graduate
high school,
237
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:11,550
which is not normally
something to brag about.
238
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,652
But in this family, hurray!
239
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:15,554
And then you're gonna
go to college.
240
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:19,057
And after that have
a big, wonderful life.
241
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:22,527
But I'm giving up
my baby to do it.
242
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:24,529
Yeah.
243
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:26,932
You are.
244
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,366
But let's not forget
245
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:30,435
that the Taylors are
a great couple.
246
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:34,472
And that child's gonna have
a big, wonderful life, too.
247
00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:37,542
I guess.
248
00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:38,910
Thanks.
249
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,179
You're welcome.
250
00:09:44,283 --> 00:09:45,917
What are you smiling about?
251
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:48,386
Wait for it.
252
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:51,323
Oh, God!
253
00:09:54,193 --> 00:09:57,262
♪ Adore
254
00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,464
♪ You
255
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:04,135
♪ I adore
256
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,137
♪ You...
257
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,772
I'm really glad you
decided to come.
258
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,374
Me, too.
259
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:10,875
I think you're the
prettiest girl here.
260
00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:12,110
Really?
261
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,144
Really.
262
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,980
And I checked
all the other girls out.
263
00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:17,482
(laughs)
264
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:20,418
It's so cool of you to stick
with me through all this.
265
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:21,419
Why wouldn't I?
266
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:22,487
Are you kidding?
267
00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:23,922
Most guys would've bailed.
268
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,757
Well, I'm not most guys.
269
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:28,493
No, you're not.
270
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,228
I love you.
271
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,230
I love you, too.
272
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,899
♪ I adore...
273
00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:35,900
Oh!
274
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:37,002
Uh-oh!
275
00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:38,236
If you're gonna fart,
I can dance us
276
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,738
over to the cheese platter.
277
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:42,107
No, Luke, I think
I'm having the baby.
278
00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:43,608
Now?
I think so.
279
00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:45,443
Okay, remain calm.
280
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:46,578
Let's get you to the hospital.
281
00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:47,579
Okay, hurry!
282
00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:48,947
Excuse me! Excuse me!
283
00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:50,415
Please try not to make a scene.
284
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:51,516
Don't worry, I got this.
285
00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:52,751
Excuse me!
286
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:54,419
(screams)
287
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:55,820
(hip-hop music playing)
288
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,690
(screams)
289
00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,659
(all screaming)
290
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,001
I'm so glad she decided to go.
291
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,636
Mmm.
292
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:12,671
You know what the best part is?
293
00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:14,205
You're the only mom
who's not worried
294
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:17,142
about her daughter getting
knocked up on prom night.
295
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:20,478
Yeah, I get to worry about her
having a nervous breakdown
296
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,681
after she gives the
baby up for adoption.
297
00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:25,517
Ah, she's young,
she's resilient.
298
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:26,518
And if she gets depressed,
299
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,486
she can turn
to drugs and alcohol.
300
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:31,189
You're right, I feel better.
301
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,524
How about we take her
302
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:33,558
on a little vacation
after it's over?
303
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:34,893
Sure.
304
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:37,495
You could probably get Daddy
Douche-bucks to pay for it.
305
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:39,297
That's mean.
306
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:41,533
And I'm way ahead of you.
307
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:44,169
(cell phone rings)
308
00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:46,971
Hey, Baxter.
309
00:11:46,973 --> 00:11:50,542
No, Roscoe's not allowed
to watch R-rated movies.
310
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:53,912
I don't care if
it's just boobs!
311
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:57,348
I don't care if you
already paid for it!
312
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:59,651
No, I'm not gonna
reimburse you!
313
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:03,688
Yes, you get credit
for calling.
314
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,390
See you tomorrow.
315
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:06,591
(scoffs)
316
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:09,294
Is the boob thing new?
317
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,496
(cell phone rings)
318
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,665
Now what?
319
00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:14,733
Hello?
320
00:12:16,502 --> 00:12:18,002
Luke?
321
00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:19,003
Slow down!
322
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:21,372
Okay, okay, uh, stay calm.
323
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:22,774
We'll meet you there.
324
00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:23,708
Is this it?
325
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:24,709
This is it.
326
00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:25,710
You get her overnight bag.
327
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:26,911
And we'll take my car.
328
00:12:28,547 --> 00:12:29,748
(whoops)
329
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,249
Oh, need to call
the Taylors!
330
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,584
All right. Where are my keys?
331
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:34,686
Where are my keys?
Let's hit it.
332
00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:36,254
I can't find my damn keys!
333
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,756
You know if you used
the hook I put up...
334
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:38,556
I don't care
about your frickin' hook!
335
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,692
Help me find my keys!
336
00:12:40,694 --> 00:12:41,793
Forget it, we'll take my car.
337
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:43,862
See? Keys--
right here on the hook.
338
00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:46,397
Fine, you win.
The hook was a good idea!
339
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:49,067
You're 52 years old
and you've had one good idea!
340
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:51,102
I am not 52 yet!
341
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,937
Oh, crap!
342
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,105
You're blocking me in.
343
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,940
Well, I told you not
to park in the driveway.
344
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,376
Why would I park on the street?
'Cause you don't pay rent.
345
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,111
When you lived with me,
you didn't pay rent.
346
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,646
I was a child!
347
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:04,449
And you still
tried to collect.
348
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,384
Come on, we'll put it in neutral
and push it out.
349
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,585
We can't. It's locked.
350
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:08,753
Why would you lock it?
351
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:11,422
Because I want to keep it.
352
00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:12,657
Okay, okay,
we need to focus.
353
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:13,825
How about we drive
through the fence,
354
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:14,826
across the neighbor's yard
355
00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:16,261
and out onto Sycamore Street?
356
00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:17,495
That's great except for
357
00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:18,596
the pool in the neighbor's yard.
358
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:20,799
They have a pool?
Why don't we use it?
359
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:21,833
Because it's not our pool!
360
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,601
I'm not talking
when they're home!
361
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:25,837
Oh, God, uh...
362
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,939
Maybe we should just call a cab.
No, that'll take too long.
363
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,808
What are you doing?
I'm gonna break your window.
364
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:30,608
And we'll push it out.
365
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,143
But Alvin just got me that car!
366
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,444
I know.
367
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,580
Wait, wait, wait!
368
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,816
What?
Found my keys.
369
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,420
(alarm chirps)
370
00:13:43,355 --> 00:13:44,455
Hi, uh, we're looking
371
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:45,824
for my daughter
Violet Plunkett.
372
00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:46,825
She's having a baby.
373
00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,293
Hang on.
374
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,962
No one under that name
is registered.
375
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,030
Really?
376
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,832
Is there a married name?
I wish.
377
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:56,334
Do you think we beat them?
378
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,403
How?
379
00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:02,040
Luke? Yeah, we're here.
380
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,042
Where are you?
381
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:06,477
No, you're not here.
382
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:08,479
Because we're standing
at the reception
383
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:11,349
at Highland Central
and you're not here.
384
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,351
What are you doing
at Midland Memorial?
385
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,353
He's at Midland?
The plan was for Highland.
386
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,422
Shh!
The plan was for Highland!
387
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:19,958
Oh, it was closer to the prom.
388
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,693
Good thinking.
389
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,828
Okay, good thinking
for the limo driver.
390
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,563
Sit tight.
We're on our way.
391
00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:26,731
Oh!
Ooh!
392
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:27,866
Did she have the baby?
393
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:29,000
Not yet. They're at Midland.
394
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,501
I thought the plan
was for Highland.
395
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:31,669
Midland was closer
to the prom.
396
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:32,871
They went to the prom?
397
00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:34,806
She looked beautiful, see?
398
00:14:34,808 --> 00:14:35,807
Oh!
399
00:14:35,809 --> 00:14:37,342
You have a Polaroid?
400
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:38,877
Let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go!
401
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,245
Come on!
402
00:14:41,747 --> 00:14:42,914
Excuse me, excuse me!
403
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,716
Violet Plunkett,
my daughter, having a baby.
404
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:46,718
Hold on.
No, I'm not holding on!
405
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:47,719
Where is she?
406
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:49,220
This man
was here before you.
407
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,822
Well, I am sorry,
but I have let
408
00:14:50,824 --> 00:14:52,824
And I am not gonna
let it happen again.
409
00:14:52,826 --> 00:14:53,925
She really has been negligent.
410
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:56,828
Right!
411
00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:58,529
Now she really
needs her mother.
412
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:00,665
Where the hell is she?
413
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:02,233
I'm right here.
414
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,635
False alarm.
415
00:15:05,037 --> 00:15:07,338
Oh.
416
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:13,745
Please tell me
that's a sandwich.
417
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,046
It's my thumb.
418
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:16,915
Ah.
419
00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:19,117
Why don't you see him next?
420
00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:21,686
Good luck.
421
00:15:26,058 --> 00:15:28,092
Funny thing.
422
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:31,729
Not the first time your mom's
taken a bat to a car window.
423
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:33,731
You're kidding.
424
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:36,034
No, the only difference is
I wasn't in the driver's seat.
425
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,904
He pissed me off.
426
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,572
I'll send my guy over,
we can fix it
427
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:42,907
right here in the driveway.
428
00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:44,108
Is it gonna be expensive?
429
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,243
Don't worry,
I'll take care of it.
430
00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:47,078
Oh, thanks.
431
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:47,745
You're the best.
432
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:49,580
Oh, is that how it works?
433
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:52,050
He throws a few bucks around
and suddenly he's the best?
434
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,918
That's not how I raised you.
435
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,620
Oh, it totally is.
436
00:15:56,789 --> 00:16:00,058
Bonnie, don't make
a big deal out of this.
437
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:01,159
Yeah, no one's
talking to you.
438
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:02,827
You want to write the check?
You write the check.
439
00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:03,828
No, that's your thing.
440
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,763
I love from here.
441
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:07,899
You love from here.
442
00:16:07,901 --> 00:16:09,801
Hey, I got an idea.
How about you kiss right
443
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:12,070
here?
444
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:13,972
I don't think
I can stoop that low.
445
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:14,906
Guys, guys, come on.
446
00:16:14,908 --> 00:16:16,174
I'm just trying
to make things right.
447
00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:18,009
Well, you can't make
deserting us right.
448
00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:20,178
Never.
Okay, that's enough.
449
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,780
I didn't desert "us."
I deserted you.
450
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,515
She ever tell you
some of the crap she pulled?
451
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:25,950
Leave her out of it.
Why?
452
00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:27,685
Everything I did wrong
is fair game.
453
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:29,620
One time your mommy,
who loves from here,
454
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:31,656
sold my motorcycle
behind my back
455
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,491
to cover a drug deal
that went bad.
456
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,659
What choice did I have?
457
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,260
Chewie threatened to kill me!
458
00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:37,996
Because you stole his cocaine!
459
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:40,965
Well, I was trying to make
a better life for us!
460
00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:41,966
Oh, much better.
461
00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:43,534
I woke up with a gun
in my mouth!
462
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,603
Have you ever pleaded for your
life with a gun in your mouth?
463
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:46,704
This is what comes out.
464
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:47,705
(muffled):
Please don't shoot me!
465
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:48,873
Please don't
shoot me!
466
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,008
That's not how it went down!
467
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,009
How would you know?
468
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,276
You took a handful of Quaaludes
469
00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:53,945
and went swimming
in the neighbor's pool!
470
00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:55,413
Not while they were home.
471
00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:57,515
I'm not saying I didn't make
472
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:58,816
my share of mistakes,
473
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:00,685
but I was never
stupid enough...
474
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:01,719
(grunts)
475
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,521
Ooh.
Are you okay?
476
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,456
No, something's wrong.
(grunts)
477
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:06,557
Call 911.
478
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:07,892
Don't you die,
you son of a bitch.
479
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:10,728
We're not done with this.
480
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,563
Hey, uh,
481
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,732
my ex is having a heart attack,
482
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:17,735
or my prayers are
being answered.
483
00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:20,004
All depends how
quick you get here.
484
00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:21,372
(weakly):
Christy, come here.
485
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:24,042
(whispering)
486
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:24,909
What's he saying?
487
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:27,979
I'd rather not repeat it.
488
00:17:38,023 --> 00:17:41,692
How come you never mentioned
the drug deal that went bad?
489
00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:43,061
Same reason I never mentioned
490
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:46,030
shooting off his pinky toe.
491
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:47,932
It reflects poorly on me.
492
00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:50,034
Oh, my God. You shot him?
493
00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:51,169
It was an accident.
494
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:52,603
I was trying
to make him dance
495
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,005
like in one of those
Old Westerns.
496
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:58,176
You two are unbelievable.
497
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:00,411
I'm surprised you were
able to stop fighting
498
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,080
long enough to conceive me.
499
00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:03,081
We didn't.
500
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:05,450
How does that work?
501
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:06,851
How do you think?
It hurts a little.
502
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,354
Alvin Biletnikoff?
503
00:18:10,356 --> 00:18:11,355
That's us.
504
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:12,356
Uh, relatives?
505
00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:13,591
I'm his daughter.
506
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,193
I'm undecided.
507
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,227
Okay.
508
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:17,462
Well, it was
a minor heart attack.
509
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:18,963
He's out of danger,
but one of his arteries
510
00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:21,065
is 70% blocked,
so we're putting in a stent.
511
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:22,900
So, he'll be okay?
512
00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:23,935
I should think so.
You'll probably be able
513
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,069
to take him home tomorrow.
514
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:27,972
Oh, thank God.
That's great news.
515
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:29,140
For you.
516
00:18:30,742 --> 00:18:32,043
And he's going to need
to take it easy
517
00:18:32,045 --> 00:18:33,478
for a couple of weeks--
518
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,146
is there somebody available
to provide care?
519
00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:38,716
What are you
looking at me for?
520
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:41,085
I've got a full-time job
521
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:42,920
and I'm gonna have
to deal with Violet.
522
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:45,256
You cannot ask me
to take care of that man.
523
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:47,458
I am not asking you.
I am telling you.
524
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,427
No. I am not doing it!
525
00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:51,696
No, no, no!
526
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,202
No!
527
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:01,572
Oh, my God.
528
00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:02,974
She still loves him.
529
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:06,677
You have no idea
how funny this is.
530
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:09,747
(laughing)
34876
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