Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,940 --> 00:00:06,110
Look, there are its little fingers.
2
00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:08,390
One, two, three, four, five, one, two, three, four, five.
3
00:00:08,390 --> 00:00:09,190
Yes!
4
00:00:10,540 --> 00:00:12,350
I can't wait till you're born!
5
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:13,200
That's 'cause you don't have
6
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:14,970
to squeeze it out through your hoo-hah.
7
00:00:16,530 --> 00:00:17,340
So, Doc, how we looking?
8
00:00:17,340 --> 00:00:19,750
Healthy kid, or is it gonna need a crash helmet?
9
00:00:20,510 --> 00:00:21,390
Everything looks great.
10
00:00:21,390 --> 00:00:23,650
You're right on schedule, six weeks out.
11
00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:26,470
Hey, we might still be able to go to Senior Prom.
12
00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:29,620
Think you can watch the baby?
13
00:00:29,850 --> 00:00:31,120
You're joking, right?
14
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:32,480
The kid'll still be wet.
15
00:00:34,390 --> 00:00:35,240
You're right.
16
00:00:36,020 --> 00:00:36,970
We'll bring it.
17
00:00:39,090 --> 00:00:41,630
These two are gonna make great parents.
18
00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:43,580
I've seen worse.
19
00:00:44,510 --> 00:00:45,660
Would you like to know the sex?
20
00:00:45,660 --> 00:00:47,010
Well... I think it's pretty obvious.
21
00:00:47,010 --> 00:00:48,120
It's a boy and he's going to be
22
00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:51,130
very popular with the ladies.
23
00:00:51,590 --> 00:00:53,500
Actually, that's the umbilical cord.
24
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,510
We'd like to know.
25
00:00:57,630 --> 00:00:59,010
Um, maybe not.
26
00:00:59,090 --> 00:00:59,990
How come?
27
00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:04,240
Knowing the sex makes this all too... real.
28
00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:05,380
It's not real enough for you?
29
00:01:05,380 --> 00:01:07,330
You've been farting like a lumberjack.
30
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,690
We don't really need to know right now.
31
00:01:12,690 --> 00:01:14,730
Okay, I'll see you again in ten days.
32
00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:18,450
We've got a lot to do to get
33
00:01:18,450 --> 00:01:20,330
the house ready for our new guest.
34
00:01:20,370 --> 00:01:21,100
Guest?
35
00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:22,800
You make it sound like we're just visiting.
36
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,640
Well, a girl can hope.
37
00:01:25,810 --> 00:01:29,980
{\an2}{\pos(70,258)}m 20 0 l 209 0 b 218 0 229 11 229 20 l 229 209 b 229 218 218 228 209 228 l 20 228 b 11 228 0 218 0 209 l 0 20 b 0 11 11 0 20 0
38
00:01:25,810 --> 00:01:29,980
{\an2}{\pos(70,258)}m 115 64 l 115 35 l 171 0 l 177 0 l 133 46 l 143 52 l 179 0 l 184 0 l 159 63 l 229 107 l 229 182 l 145 96 l 135 122 l 207 227 l 137 227 l 115 172 l 115 93 l 126 76 l 115 64 l 104 76 l 115 93 l 115 172 l 93 227 l 23 227 l 95 122 l 84 96 l 0 182 l 0 107 l 70 63 l 45 0 l 50 0 l 87 52 l 97 46 l 52 0 l 59 0 l 115 35
39
00:01:25,810 --> 00:01:29,980
{\an2}{\pos(60,248)}m 71 60 b 71 0 161 0 161 60 b 161 120 71 120 71 60
40
00:01:25,810 --> 00:01:29,980
{\an2}{\pos(86,258)}m 325 0 l 355 0 l 332 47 l 354 47 l 399 136 l 369 136 l 328 53 l 288 136 l 257 136 l 325 0 m 467 0 l 497 0 l 474 47 l 496 47 l 541 136 l 511 136 l 470 53 l 430 136 l 399 136 l 467 0 m 545 1 l 583 1 l 583 14 l 568 14 l 568 19 l 583 19 l 583 30 l 568 30 l 568 34 l 599 34 l 599 30 l 583 30 l 583 19 l 599 19 l 599 14 l 583 14 l 583 1 l 611 1 b 616 1 622 6 622 10 l 622 36 l 652 0 l 678 0 l 644 41 l 622 41 l 622 47 l 596 47 l 597 54 l 625 54 l 625 68 l 541 68 l 541 54 l 572 54 l 571 47 l 545 47 l 545 1 m 583 72 l 583 85 l 569 85 l 569 90 l 598 90 l 598 85 l 583 85 l 583 72 l 611 72 b 615 72 621 78 621 82 l 653 44 l 678 44 l 644 86 l 621 86 l 621 103 l 597 103 l 597 136 l 570 136 l 564 126 l 562 136 l 542 136 l 548 107 l 568 107 l 565 121 l 571 121 l 571 103 l 547 103 l 547 72 l 583 72 m 600 107 l 620 107 l 624 124 l 653 89 l 679 89 l 642 136 l 615 136 l 618 132 l 606 132 l 600 107 m 689 0 l 716 0 l 721 15 l 732 15 l 732 30 l 718 56 l 731 56 l 735 100 l 721 100 l 717 59 l 714 64 l 714 136 l 693 136 l 693 79 l 676 79 l 707 30 l 679 30 l 679 15 l 694 15 l 689 0 m 738 0 l 804 0 b 807 0 813 6 813 9 l 813 87 l 794 87 l 794 14 l 756 14 l 756 87 l 763 77 l 763 21 l 787 21 l 787 91 l 798 91 l 798 120 l 820 120 l 812 136 l 778 136 l 778 90 l 748 136 l 723 136 l 756 87 l 738 87 l 738 0 m 257 151 l 275 151 l 297 182 l 319 151 l 337 151 l 304 197 l 304 227 l 290 227 l 290 197 l 257 151 m 337 151 l 355 151 l 377 182 l 399 151 l 417 151 l 384 197 l 384 227 l 370 227 l 370 197 l 337 151 m 425 192 l 447 192 b 445 181 427 181 425 192 l 410 192 b 414 162 458 162 462 192 l 462 206 l 425 206 b 425 210 429 212 433 213 l 462 213 l 462 227 l 433 227 b 412 227 408 203 410 192 m 462 151 l 532 151 l 532 165 l 504 165 l 504 227 l 489 227 l 489 165 l 462 165 l 462 151 m 580 172 l 580 186 l 549 186 b 543 186 543 192 549 192 l 565 192 b 589 192 589 227 565 227 l 532 227 l 532 213 l 565 213 b 570 213 570 206 565 206 l 549 206 b 524 206 524 172 549 172 l 580 172 m 592 213 l 606 213 l 606 227 l 592 227 l 592 213 m 639 172 l 665 172 l 665 186 l 639 186 b 623 186 623 213 639 213 l 665 213 l 665 227 l 639 227 b 603 227 603 172 639 172 m 700 184 b 722 184 722 215 700 215 l 700 229 b 740 229 740 170 700 170 b 660 170 660 229 700 229 l 700 215 b 680 215 680 184 700 184 m 737 172 l 782 172 b 803 172 813 177 813 198 l 813 228 l 799 228 l 799 198 b 799 186 793 187 782 187 l 782 228 l 768 228 l 768 187 l 752 187 l 752 228 l 737 228 l 737 172
41
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:45,850
Thanks for helping out, Baxter.
42
00:01:45,850 --> 00:01:46,810
My pleasure.
43
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:50,110
Always happy when my van is used to transport legal stuff.
44
00:01:51,750 --> 00:01:52,900
What else you got in there?
45
00:01:52,990 --> 00:01:53,920
Amigos.
46
00:01:57,530 --> 00:01:59,070
Uno momento, por favor.
47
00:02:01,990 --> 00:02:02,950
Seriously?
48
00:02:02,950 --> 00:02:05,450
You're moving illegal aliens?
49
00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:06,900
Don't be ridiculous.
50
00:02:06,980 --> 00:02:08,540
They're drug mules.
51
00:02:10,610 --> 00:02:11,690
What's going on?
52
00:02:12,020 --> 00:02:14,030
Your grandmother and I got you a crib.
53
00:02:14,030 --> 00:02:15,040
What do you think?
54
00:02:15,430 --> 00:02:17,190
Looks like a little cage.
55
00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:19,550
It is a little cage.
56
00:02:19,610 --> 00:02:20,410
Mom.
57
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:21,560
When your mother was an infant,
58
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,230
I kept her in a cat carrier.
59
00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:26,280
Well, whatever.
60
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,490
I don't like it.
61
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:31,050
Okay, you're welcome.
62
00:02:32,870 --> 00:02:34,500
Was I that grumpy when I was pregnant?
63
00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:37,160
Oh-ho-ho, I am not falling for that.
64
00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:39,160
Good day, madam.
65
00:02:39,610 --> 00:02:41,030
Thanks, Baxter.
66
00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:43,460
I'm gonna make some tea, you want some?
67
00:02:43,670 --> 00:02:45,040
What I want is a daughter
68
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,670
who is a little bit excited about having a baby.
69
00:02:47,670 --> 00:02:49,850
Oh, you got to cut her some slack, she's scared.
70
00:02:49,850 --> 00:02:51,600
Yeah, I get that, but...
71
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:52,950
we're in the home stretch
72
00:02:52,950 --> 00:02:55,180
and she is in complete denial.
73
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:57,870
You know, she bought a tube top the other day.
74
00:02:59,740 --> 00:03:01,430
I do not want to see that.
75
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,230
I know she's young,
76
00:03:04,230 --> 00:03:05,530
I know she's scared,
77
00:03:05,530 --> 00:03:08,370
but come on, it's not like she's doing this alone.
78
00:03:08,570 --> 00:03:10,330
What if we threw her a baby shower?
79
00:03:10,330 --> 00:03:12,100
Let her see we're all in this together?
80
00:03:13,540 --> 00:03:14,950
That's not a bad idea.
81
00:03:15,220 --> 00:03:17,350
You know, invite some friends from school,
82
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,450
eat cake, play games...
83
00:03:20,190 --> 00:03:22,810
all the things I wish somebody did for me.
84
00:03:24,590 --> 00:03:26,640
I am really sorry.
85
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:29,380
It just... it kills me that I wasn't there for you.
86
00:03:31,190 --> 00:03:32,800
I didn't expect you to cop to it.
87
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:33,850
I'm not copping to anything.
88
00:03:33,850 --> 00:03:35,760
It's just the quickest way to shut you up.
89
00:03:36,790 --> 00:03:38,250
Mom! Grandma!
90
00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:40,120
Look, I'm in jail!
91
00:03:42,630 --> 00:03:45,450
I'd laugh if I didn't think it was a real possibility.
92
00:03:51,310 --> 00:03:54,600
All right, make sure the oil in the deep fryer is changed,
93
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,200
and I want the walk-in cleaned from top to bottom.
94
00:03:57,610 --> 00:03:59,390
And I could do without the look.
95
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:02,810
Uh, hey, Chef Rudy, you got a minute?
96
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:03,890
Oh, make it quick.
97
00:04:03,890 --> 00:04:05,450
I'm sleeping with a food critic,
98
00:04:05,450 --> 00:04:07,460
and he throws a hissy fit if I'm late.
99
00:04:08,980 --> 00:04:10,630
Wait, when did you start eating
100
00:04:10,630 --> 00:04:12,210
from the other side of the buffet?
101
00:04:13,430 --> 00:04:16,230
When I realized there was a four-star review in his pants.
102
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:18,040
What do you need?
103
00:04:18,430 --> 00:04:21,190
Well, I'm throwing a baby shower for my daughter, and I...
104
00:04:21,190 --> 00:04:23,070
Speak quickly. I'm bored.
105
00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:25,560
And I'm kind of strapped for cash,
106
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,300
so I was hoping you could hook me up with some food.
107
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:29,280
You want me to help you steal from the restaurant?
108
00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,590
Just the stuff that's left over.
109
00:04:31,590 --> 00:04:33,450
That's the stuff I usually steal.
110
00:04:34,610 --> 00:04:35,740
Oh, come on.
111
00:04:35,740 --> 00:04:36,680
All right.
112
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,310
Lucky for you, I need an empty stomach
113
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:40,850
for what I'm about to do.
114
00:04:44,390 --> 00:04:47,300
But, um, how does a-- ah--
115
00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:50,460
a shrimp platter, carpaccio, and, uh-- ah--
116
00:04:50,460 --> 00:04:51,830
creme brulee sound?
117
00:04:51,930 --> 00:04:53,310
Thank you.
118
00:04:53,310 --> 00:04:54,450
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
119
00:04:54,450 --> 00:04:56,950
Don't... don't confuse my naughty parts.
120
00:04:59,630 --> 00:05:01,890
I have to go ride a 300-pound Frenchman.
121
00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,220
Wow, you scored.
122
00:05:09,220 --> 00:05:11,760
Yeah, Rudy really came through.
123
00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:13,900
Did you know that he swung both ways?
124
00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:15,740
No, but when we slept together,
125
00:05:15,740 --> 00:05:17,220
he did ask me to do a few things
126
00:05:17,220 --> 00:05:19,170
that were a little suspect.
127
00:05:21,540 --> 00:05:23,110
It does make me nervous,
128
00:05:23,210 --> 00:05:25,720
having to beg food for a baby shower.
129
00:05:25,860 --> 00:05:26,940
I mean, how are we gonna make ends meet
130
00:05:26,940 --> 00:05:28,180
when the kid actually gets here?
131
00:05:28,180 --> 00:05:29,750
Well, that's a tough one.
132
00:05:29,950 --> 00:05:31,770
Maybe you could get a second job.
133
00:05:35,890 --> 00:05:39,030
Or maybe you could get a first one.
134
00:05:40,270 --> 00:05:41,380
What are you talking about?
135
00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:43,330
I have my life coaching business.
136
00:05:43,330 --> 00:05:45,770
Oh, please, you've had two clients.
137
00:05:45,770 --> 00:05:47,320
One paid you with used luggage
138
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,190
and the other one stepped in front of a train.
139
00:05:50,390 --> 00:05:52,760
That did teach me to get paid in advance.
140
00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:58,920
I really need you to pitch in, Mom.
141
00:05:58,920 --> 00:05:59,940
All right, all right.
142
00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:01,690
Maybe I'll open my law practice again.
143
00:06:01,690 --> 00:06:02,710
You're not a lawyer!
144
00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:05,440
Well, I wasn't a health inspector either,
145
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,220
but restaurants paid me a lot of money
146
00:06:07,220 --> 00:06:08,550
to look the other way.
147
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:15,770
Typing skills?
148
00:06:17,050 --> 00:06:18,190
Two fingers.
149
00:06:19,970 --> 00:06:20,880
This one.
150
00:06:20,940 --> 00:06:23,990
And, oddly enough, this one.
151
00:06:28,550 --> 00:06:29,490
Excel?
152
00:06:29,630 --> 00:06:30,620
At what?
153
00:06:32,730 --> 00:06:34,900
The computer program called Excel.
154
00:06:34,900 --> 00:06:37,830
Of course. Yes, love me some Excel.
155
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:40,860
How are your phone skills?
156
00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:41,880
Let me see.
157
00:06:42,270 --> 00:06:43,410
Hello?
158
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,510
I think you have your answer.
159
00:06:47,460 --> 00:06:50,960
How about a 52-line PBX system with direct inward calling?
160
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:52,430
That's what I'm talkin' about.
161
00:06:52,430 --> 00:06:54,330
While I'm typing.
162
00:07:04,530 --> 00:07:06,290
All right. Thanks for coming in.
163
00:07:06,290 --> 00:07:08,050
We'll contact you if anything comes up.
164
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:10,180
Oh, that doesn't sound very encouraging.
165
00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:11,760
Ms. Plunkett...
166
00:07:12,070 --> 00:07:13,360
You see these resumes?
167
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:14,900
These are all people with advanced degrees
168
00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:16,540
and I can't find them work.
169
00:07:16,550 --> 00:07:18,770
They sit in that box until I bring them home to Mother
170
00:07:18,770 --> 00:07:20,560
so she can do her sudoku on the back.
171
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,200
Well, maybe the problem is...
172
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,420
Wait, you live with your mother?
173
00:07:24,420 --> 00:07:25,850
I have my own entrance.
174
00:07:28,820 --> 00:07:30,070
Uh, let me ask you...
175
00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:32,490
this employment agency deal,
176
00:07:32,490 --> 00:07:35,500
this isn't what you really wanted to do with your life, is it?
177
00:07:35,570 --> 00:07:36,640
God, no.
178
00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:41,370
I wanted to write a Broadway musical.
179
00:07:42,490 --> 00:07:44,250
Interesting. What stopped you?
180
00:07:44,250 --> 00:07:45,770
It's really hard.
181
00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:52,310
That's not it.
182
00:07:52,310 --> 00:07:53,490
What stopped you is
183
00:07:53,490 --> 00:07:55,440
you had no one guiding you,
184
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,720
no one encouraging you.
185
00:07:58,070 --> 00:07:59,720
Well, Mother tries,
186
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:01,530
but ever since the stroke,
187
00:08:01,530 --> 00:08:03,160
she's got her own problems.
188
00:08:05,730 --> 00:08:07,030
I can help.
189
00:08:07,540 --> 00:08:08,540
You can?
190
00:08:08,540 --> 00:08:09,440
I didn't want to say anything
191
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,250
because it's intimidating to people,
192
00:08:11,250 --> 00:08:13,400
but I'm a certified life coach.
193
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:14,810
Really?
194
00:08:14,810 --> 00:08:16,350
Where did you get your certification?
195
00:08:16,460 --> 00:08:19,540
The Katzenjammer Life Coaching Institute
196
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:21,140
in Geneva, Switzerland.
197
00:08:26,860 --> 00:08:28,140
I don't want to give you false hope,
198
00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:31,360
but I've had a tremendous amount of success with composers.
199
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:32,770
Really? Like who?
200
00:08:32,770 --> 00:08:34,410
You know Andrew Lloyd Webber?
201
00:08:34,610 --> 00:08:36,490
- I do. - You're welcome.
202
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:38,870
Before I came along,
203
00:08:38,870 --> 00:08:39,850
Evita was singing,
204
00:08:39,850 --> 00:08:42,000
"Don't cry for me, West Covina"
205
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,380
Amazing.
206
00:08:45,380 --> 00:08:47,290
So... so... so how do we do this?
207
00:08:47,290 --> 00:08:48,470
Well, um...
208
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:49,990
I, uh... oh!
209
00:08:49,990 --> 00:08:52,050
I've got an opening Wednesday night at 8:00.
210
00:08:52,050 --> 00:08:55,210
Ooh, Wednesdays Mother and I watch Idol.
211
00:08:55,930 --> 00:08:57,650
Are you listening to yourself?
212
00:08:57,650 --> 00:09:00,760
Those people on American Idol are chasing greatness.
213
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,880
All you're doing is watching them.
214
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,470
Sometimes I vote.
215
00:09:08,850 --> 00:09:10,710
I'll see you Wednesday.
216
00:09:10,710 --> 00:09:12,420
Um... do I get some kind of discount
217
00:09:12,420 --> 00:09:14,460
if I pre-pay for a bunch of sessions?
218
00:09:14,490 --> 00:09:15,800
Do you have the cash on you now?
219
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:16,980
- No. - Then no.
220
00:09:18,890 --> 00:09:20,640
And that's how it's done.
221
00:09:27,430 --> 00:09:28,770
What you got going on there?
222
00:09:28,830 --> 00:09:31,000
I'm making a little princess tiara
223
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,320
for Violet to wear at her baby shower.
224
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:35,380
Aw, it's so precious when you overcompensate
225
00:09:35,380 --> 00:09:37,640
for being a drunken loser when she was a kid.
226
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:40,500
How does it work?
227
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:43,340
Do you just sense when I'm feeling good about myself?
228
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,030
I'm sorry. This is so sweet.
229
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,070
Thank you.
230
00:09:47,770 --> 00:09:50,060
I just want to give my daughter the best day ever.
231
00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:52,260
Well, how about I give my daughter the best day ever?
232
00:09:52,260 --> 00:09:54,540
I just got a paying client.
233
00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:55,780
Shut up.
234
00:09:55,780 --> 00:09:58,180
Yep. A real Norman Bates.
235
00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:01,970
I think his mother might actually be stuffed.
236
00:10:04,850 --> 00:10:07,600
Honey, look, I'm making you a tiara.
237
00:10:08,050 --> 00:10:11,180
Nice. Listen, I decided I don't want to have a party.
238
00:10:11,630 --> 00:10:13,280
What are you talking about?
239
00:10:13,390 --> 00:10:14,890
It's a celebration!
240
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,900
It's fun and games and free stuff for the baby.
241
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:18,910
I don't need it.
242
00:10:19,350 --> 00:10:22,070
Sweetheart, I'm stealing food from the restaurant.
243
00:10:22,070 --> 00:10:23,700
Believe me, we need it.
244
00:10:24,330 --> 00:10:25,640
No, we don't.
245
00:10:26,990 --> 00:10:29,770
Okay. May I ask why?
246
00:10:31,470 --> 00:10:33,500
I decided to give the baby up for adoption.
247
00:10:52,780 --> 00:10:54,930
I feel like someone just punched me in the heart.
248
00:10:58,510 --> 00:11:00,110
Did not see that coming.
249
00:11:03,410 --> 00:11:05,850
- Damn it, this is ridiculous! - No, Christy, wait.
250
00:11:05,850 --> 00:11:07,150
No, no, no. She's wrong.
251
00:11:07,150 --> 00:11:08,710
I am not gonna let this happen.
252
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,930
- We need to talk about this. - There's nothing to talk about.
253
00:11:12,930 --> 00:11:15,520
The hell there isn't! Look, I know you're scared.
254
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:16,900
I'd be worried about you if you weren't,
255
00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:18,460
but that's no reason to give up on this baby.
256
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,620
- Christy, calm down. - Do not tell me to calm down!
257
00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:24,140
Why? Tell me why you're doing this.
258
00:11:24,140 --> 00:11:25,740
That's my business.
259
00:11:25,740 --> 00:11:27,090
No, it's not!
260
00:11:27,150 --> 00:11:29,320
We're all in this together. Now tell me!
261
00:11:30,140 --> 00:11:32,490
Okay. I don't want to be you.
262
00:11:33,220 --> 00:11:34,660
You're talking to your mother, right?
263
00:11:36,140 --> 00:11:38,090
I'm talking to both of you.
264
00:11:38,090 --> 00:11:39,840
You had her when you were my age,
265
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,680
you had me when you were my age. I do the same thing,
266
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:45,390
I'm gonna wind up with the same wasted life as you.
267
00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:48,610
You think I wasted my life?
268
00:11:48,610 --> 00:11:51,190
Mom, you're a 35-year-old ex-alcoholic,
269
00:11:51,190 --> 00:11:53,300
you're all alone, and you're waiting tables.
270
00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:54,370
I'm a certified life coach.
271
00:11:54,370 --> 00:11:55,660
Oh, give it a rest.
272
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:59,680
Hey, first of all, I happen to like my life
273
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:02,070
and I love my children and I love my job.
274
00:12:02,220 --> 00:12:03,900
- What about me? - Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.
275
00:12:04,450 --> 00:12:06,330
So don't tell me I wasted my life!
276
00:12:06,330 --> 00:12:08,150
Okay. I just mean that I want more.
277
00:12:08,150 --> 00:12:10,340
I want to go to school, I want a career!
278
00:12:10,340 --> 00:12:12,100
You can still have all of those things.
279
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:13,950
Wait. Let me finish.
280
00:12:14,740 --> 00:12:17,740
And I want this baby to have a chance at all of that, too.
281
00:12:25,410 --> 00:12:26,590
I don't know what to say.
282
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:27,660
Excuse me.
283
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:33,460
I am doing the right thing.
284
00:12:33,460 --> 00:12:35,000
I did not say a word.
285
00:12:37,310 --> 00:12:39,060
Well, will you please talk to her?
286
00:12:40,790 --> 00:12:41,620
Of course.
287
00:12:44,870 --> 00:12:46,570
What does Luke say about this?
288
00:12:49,210 --> 00:12:50,650
He doesn't know yet.
289
00:12:51,420 --> 00:12:52,260
Really?
290
00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:55,310
You have any advice?
291
00:13:00,430 --> 00:13:01,880
Maybe I'm not a life coach.
292
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:15,710
Creme brulee?
293
00:13:17,290 --> 00:13:18,180
Thanks.
294
00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:23,560
I really want a drink right now.
295
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:24,810
Shut up. You got pudding.
296
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,190
If she's gonna put that baby up for adoption,
297
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,170
I'll adopt it.
298
00:13:29,170 --> 00:13:31,690
Oh, that won't make things awkward at Thanksgiving.
299
00:13:31,690 --> 00:13:34,260
"Violet, honey, please pass the peas to your sister-daughter."
300
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:37,640
You don't understand.
301
00:13:38,290 --> 00:13:41,410
This was supposed to be our... do-over baby.
302
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:43,690
Do-over baby?
303
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:45,880
Yeah...
304
00:13:47,220 --> 00:13:48,940
a chance to get things right.
305
00:13:49,490 --> 00:13:52,130
You know, to fix all the mistakes you made.
306
00:13:52,630 --> 00:13:54,490
What about all the mistakes you made?
307
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,230
I made them because of you!
308
00:13:56,230 --> 00:13:57,710
I was abandoned by my mother
309
00:13:57,710 --> 00:13:59,040
and thrown into the foster system.
310
00:13:59,050 --> 00:14:00,280
Who do I get to blame?
311
00:14:00,290 --> 00:14:01,580
Do not play that card.
312
00:14:01,580 --> 00:14:03,190
Why not? It's my best card.
313
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:06,090
Just forget about us.
314
00:14:06,090 --> 00:14:07,340
Have you ever stopped to think about
315
00:14:07,340 --> 00:14:08,800
what life is gonna be like
316
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,530
if Violet does keep this baby?
317
00:14:10,810 --> 00:14:12,190
Of course I have.
318
00:14:12,470 --> 00:14:13,350
Really?
319
00:14:14,330 --> 00:14:15,300
Yeah!
320
00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:17,430
As long as we're together,
321
00:14:17,430 --> 00:14:19,650
as long as we're family, it's gonna be great.
322
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:20,820
Oh, get honest.
323
00:14:20,940 --> 00:14:23,980
15, 20 years from now, how's it really gonna look?
324
00:14:27,620 --> 00:14:30,600
Mom, let's go! I'm gonna be late for work!
325
00:14:36,050 --> 00:14:37,040
Sorry.
326
00:14:38,860 --> 00:14:41,430
Things did not go well in there.
327
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:45,330
Mom, let's go!
328
00:14:45,330 --> 00:14:46,910
We're gonna be late for our AA meeting.
329
00:14:46,910 --> 00:14:48,660
I don't want to go!
330
00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:51,430
I want to get a quart of vodka, an eight ball,
331
00:14:51,430 --> 00:14:53,920
take out my teeth, and gum a couple of sailors.
332
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:57,950
I said on your birthday.
333
00:14:58,240 --> 00:14:59,410
Now move it.
334
00:14:59,930 --> 00:15:02,560
Don't forget you're taking your granddaughter to school today.
335
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:03,750
I know.
336
00:15:03,910 --> 00:15:06,000
Come on, angel, we're leaving!
337
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,470
I can't go to school.
338
00:15:08,470 --> 00:15:10,230
My water broke.
339
00:15:11,770 --> 00:15:13,900
You sure you didn't just wet yourself?
340
00:15:13,990 --> 00:15:16,660
'Cause the Crypt-Keeper over here does it all the time.
341
00:15:19,910 --> 00:15:23,120
All right, let's go to the hospital.
342
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:27,260
Is this one gonna be the do-over baby?
343
00:15:29,910 --> 00:15:31,770
You want me to take away your oxygen?
344
00:15:31,770 --> 00:15:32,820
You want me to?!
345
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:34,080
Come on!
346
00:15:40,450 --> 00:15:42,480
Roscoe, we're leaving!
347
00:15:48,310 --> 00:15:50,910
Hey! Who's gonna take me to my parole hearing?
348
00:15:55,110 --> 00:15:55,960
Well?
349
00:15:58,360 --> 00:15:59,920
I got to go talk to my daughter.
350
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,000
You're not gonna finish your creme brulee?
351
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,180
God, no.
352
00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:11,290
You got a minute?
353
00:16:11,410 --> 00:16:13,010
Not if you're gonna yell at me.
354
00:16:14,180 --> 00:16:16,440
No, no more yelling.
355
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,200
I just...
356
00:16:19,330 --> 00:16:21,830
I want to apologize for being selfish.
357
00:16:22,470 --> 00:16:23,920
I like where you're going.
358
00:16:26,340 --> 00:16:29,750
I was looking at your baby as a way to make up for the mistakes
359
00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:31,200
I made with you and Roscoe.
360
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,590
How would that work?
361
00:16:33,540 --> 00:16:37,140
Uh, you know, this time I wouldn't be drunk,
362
00:16:37,990 --> 00:16:39,970
I wouldn't pass out at a PTA meeting...
363
00:16:40,350 --> 00:16:41,490
at the wrong school.
364
00:16:43,730 --> 00:16:45,650
Yeah, that wasn't too embarrassing.
365
00:16:47,870 --> 00:16:51,230
And I was excited for the new baby, you know?
366
00:16:51,230 --> 00:16:52,640
Fresh out of the wrapper.
367
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:54,390
Kind of a do-over.
368
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,060
That is so messed up.
369
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,630
What's really messed up is that
370
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,540
I didn't realize you are my do-over baby.
371
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,160
I am?
372
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:11,160
Violet, you're breaking the cycle.
373
00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:13,700
You're gonna have a better life than me,
374
00:17:14,890 --> 00:17:17,810
and you're making sure that this baby has one, too.
375
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,550
I've been doing some research online,
376
00:17:21,550 --> 00:17:23,550
and there's a lot of great couples
377
00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,780
that really want to start a family but can't.
378
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,790
- You already found people? - Yeah.
379
00:17:28,940 --> 00:17:30,750
Look at these two guys in San Francisco.
380
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:34,260
Mike's a hedge fund trader and Andre's a choreographer.
381
00:17:34,580 --> 00:17:36,290
Oh, my God, look at their house.
382
00:17:36,770 --> 00:17:39,130
Think they'd adopt a 35-year-old waitress?
383
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:42,470
You know, me and the baby, kind of a twofer?
384
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:45,540
I love you.
385
00:17:46,550 --> 00:17:47,890
I love you, too.
386
00:17:51,430 --> 00:17:54,520
Aw, look, they have a teacup poodle.
387
00:17:54,830 --> 00:17:56,110
Big surprise.
388
00:18:07,270 --> 00:18:09,440
Okay, we've made some real progress tonight.
389
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,340
You think? Oh, yeah. You've got a central character
390
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,990
and premise for your musical.
391
00:18:13,060 --> 00:18:14,430
You don't think the story's a turnoff?
392
00:18:14,430 --> 00:18:17,620
No! A 40-year-old man who sleeps in the same bed with his mother
393
00:18:17,620 --> 00:18:19,460
is gonna speak to a lot of people.
394
00:18:20,990 --> 00:18:23,070
Well, it's like you said,
395
00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:24,330
write what you know.
396
00:18:25,660 --> 00:18:27,350
Next session, I expect to hear
397
00:18:27,350 --> 00:18:29,430
a verse and chorus for "Spooning Mama".
398
00:18:30,950 --> 00:18:34,070
- Hello. - Ah, my next client, right on time. Come on in.
399
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,490
She's a genius.
400
00:18:35,910 --> 00:18:38,060
Without her, I wouldn't be a waitress.
401
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:45,190
Wow, he really believes you're a life coach.
402
00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:46,360
Well, why wouldn't he?
403
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:48,910
The Louisiana State Bar believed I was an attorney.
404
00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:51,350
I had three wins before I had to skedaddle.
405
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:55,310
Where's Violet?
406
00:18:55,310 --> 00:18:57,440
She went to talk to Luke and his parents.
407
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,220
Oh, yeah, right.
408
00:18:59,820 --> 00:19:00,840
You know,
409
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:05,240
I've been thinking. If you're jonesing for a baby,
410
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,170
you could probably still pop one out.
411
00:19:07,470 --> 00:19:09,320
Yeah, I guess so.
412
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,040
Just have to meet the right guy.
413
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,860
You sure? That didn't stop you the first two times.
414
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:18,880
Dumb-ass crackers!
415
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:19,730
What's the matter?
416
00:19:19,730 --> 00:19:20,710
Luke's parents.
417
00:19:20,710 --> 00:19:22,450
First they don't want a thing to do with this baby,
418
00:19:22,450 --> 00:19:23,380
and now they're freaking out
419
00:19:23,380 --> 00:19:25,280
because I'm giving up their beloved grandkid.
420
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:26,030
What about Luke?
421
00:19:26,030 --> 00:19:27,160
He was useless.
422
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,060
Oh, and get this. Now his parents are insisting
423
00:19:30,060 --> 00:19:31,830
that they're going to adopt the baby.
424
00:19:32,390 --> 00:19:33,260
What'd you tell them?
425
00:19:33,270 --> 00:19:34,040
I told them
426
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,030
that I don't want my kid being raised by religious fanatics.
427
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,200
I want it raised by homosexuals!
428
00:19:45,690 --> 00:19:46,590
You know, if they take her to court,
429
00:19:46,590 --> 00:19:49,820
- she's gonna need a good lawyer. - No!
32911
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof