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1
00:00:03,168 --> 00:00:06,183
Another round, doubles, straight up.
2
00:00:06,185 --> 00:00:08,819
Table six is still waiting
on their dessert.
3
00:00:08,821 --> 00:00:09,853
Oh...
Can you help me out with that?
4
00:00:09,855 --> 00:00:11,572
I got a table full of firemen
5
00:00:11,574 --> 00:00:14,141
drinking bourbon like
it's coming out of a hose.
6
00:00:14,143 --> 00:00:17,695
- Firemen?
- Yeah, they saved some rich clown's house
7
00:00:17,697 --> 00:00:19,713
- and he gave 'em a gift certificate.
- Oh, yeah.
8
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:21,699
I was the rich clown.
9
00:00:21,701 --> 00:00:24,702
By the way...
tax and tip not included.
10
00:00:24,704 --> 00:00:26,954
They should've let you burn.
11
00:00:27,605 --> 00:00:29,673
[men laughing]
12
00:00:29,675 --> 00:00:31,709
- Here we go.
- Ooh. Ooh.
13
00:00:31,711 --> 00:00:34,311
- Four double bourbons.
- Thank goodness. [laughs]
14
00:00:34,313 --> 00:00:37,848
Thank you for bringing the medicine
that alleviates my pain.
15
00:00:37,850 --> 00:00:41,518
- Aw, are you in pain?
- Yes.
16
00:00:43,288 --> 00:00:48,425
- No.
- You guys have fun.
17
00:00:48,427 --> 00:00:51,828
- Hey, wait, don't go.
- I'm sorry.
18
00:00:51,830 --> 00:00:53,931
I got a lot of people hurting in here.
19
00:00:54,866 --> 00:00:56,266
Yeah, but you and I
have something special.
20
00:00:56,268 --> 00:00:58,135
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
21
00:00:58,137 --> 00:01:01,438
- And what's that?
- Give me your hand.
22
00:01:03,875 --> 00:01:06,443
- Feel it?
- No.
23
00:01:06,445 --> 00:01:10,881
Wait for it.
How 'bout now?
24
00:01:12,183 --> 00:01:14,184
No.
25
00:01:16,621 --> 00:01:18,588
Come on.
My friends are watching.
26
00:01:18,590 --> 00:01:20,891
Feel it!
[mouths]
27
00:01:21,893 --> 00:01:24,127
Woman: Whoa! Whoa!
28
00:01:24,129 --> 00:01:25,662
Don't worry, I'll save you!
29
00:01:25,664 --> 00:01:29,366
- Oh! What are you doing?
- My job.
30
00:01:32,036 --> 00:01:35,672
- Come on, stop.
- Oh, hey.
31
00:01:35,674 --> 00:01:39,509
Hello.
I'm not stealing lobster.
32
00:01:39,511 --> 00:01:41,845
Okay, you can put me down now.
33
00:01:41,847 --> 00:01:45,248
- I think I'm safe.
- No, you're not.
34
00:01:46,384 --> 00:01:49,953
Hang on.
I don't even know your name.
35
00:01:49,955 --> 00:01:51,921
It's David.
36
00:01:51,923 --> 00:01:53,556
All right, then.
37
00:01:56,927 --> 00:01:58,995
And I'm not stealing butter, either.
38
00:02:05,266 --> 00:02:08,595
1x16 - Nietzsche and a Beer Run
39
00:02:11,596 --> 00:02:14,596
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ addic7ed.com ~
40
00:02:17,829 --> 00:02:21,397
Easy... here we go.
Watch your step.
41
00:02:21,399 --> 00:02:24,734
I'm the one helping you.
42
00:02:24,736 --> 00:02:28,638
- I was talking to myself.
- Ooh!
43
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:31,874
Okay.
I'm gonna leave now.
44
00:02:31,876 --> 00:02:33,276
Do you remember where your car is?
45
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:35,711
At the restaurant!
46
00:02:36,847 --> 00:02:39,916
- Do you remember which restaurant?
- I do not.
47
00:02:41,718 --> 00:02:44,487
I'll, uh... write it down for you.
48
00:02:45,856 --> 00:02:48,324
I know what's happening.
49
00:02:48,326 --> 00:02:51,827
You drove me home
so you could take advantage of me.
50
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,181
I already did.
51
00:02:55,183 --> 00:02:59,018
Twice.
You don't remember?
52
00:03:02,322 --> 00:03:03,990
I'm gonna go.
53
00:03:03,992 --> 00:03:06,392
You can't leave.
We have something special.
54
00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:07,760
You feel it?
55
00:03:08,628 --> 00:03:14,200
- You already ran that line on me.
- I did? How'd it go?
56
00:03:15,602 --> 00:03:18,204
Actually, quite well.
57
00:03:18,206 --> 00:03:21,807
Just... please, stay for a little while.
58
00:03:22,776 --> 00:03:23,943
[quietly] Come on.
59
00:03:25,011 --> 00:03:26,145
[mouths]
60
00:03:29,215 --> 00:03:31,750
- Five minutes.
- Great!
61
00:03:31,752 --> 00:03:33,185
I'll pour us a couple of drinks.
62
00:03:33,187 --> 00:03:35,954
Oh, I'm fine.
You go ahead.
63
00:03:35,956 --> 00:03:39,224
You sure? I'm much more
charming if you're loaded.
64
00:03:40,193 --> 00:03:42,795
I was making out with
you by the dumpsters.
65
00:03:42,797 --> 00:03:44,997
You're charming enough.
66
00:03:44,999 --> 00:03:46,331
Okay.
67
00:03:47,901 --> 00:03:51,203
Interesting.
Lot of books, no TV.
68
00:03:51,205 --> 00:03:54,039
Waitress by day, detective by night!
69
00:03:56,676 --> 00:04:01,914
Socrates, Nietzsche...
Kierkegaard.
70
00:04:01,916 --> 00:04:04,917
50 years of Playboy.
71
00:04:05,952 --> 00:04:08,553
Can't really
masturbate to Socrates.
72
00:04:12,659 --> 00:04:14,559
Do the other firemen make fun of you?
73
00:04:14,561 --> 00:04:17,896
- They call me the professor.
- Mm...
74
00:04:17,898 --> 00:04:20,866
could be worse.
You could be Ginger or Mary Ann.
75
00:04:22,168 --> 00:04:23,368
What?
76
00:04:25,204 --> 00:04:28,874
Gilligan's Island.
I have a TV.
77
00:04:31,711 --> 00:04:33,645
Hang on.
78
00:04:33,647 --> 00:04:37,215
You have a Doctorate of
philosophy from Stanford?
79
00:04:37,217 --> 00:04:38,783
I do.
80
00:04:39,852 --> 00:04:42,554
Okay, you get two more minutes.
81
00:04:43,656 --> 00:04:47,525
Explain how you go from that to fireman.
82
00:04:47,527 --> 00:04:51,496
I had no choice.
After the mortgage meltdown,
83
00:04:51,498 --> 00:04:54,766
the philosophy business
went right to hell.
84
00:04:59,071 --> 00:05:00,638
Can I kiss you?
85
00:05:02,141 --> 00:05:06,277
Look, I think I gave you the wrong
impression in the parking lot.
86
00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:09,180
I'm really not that kind of girl, so...
87
00:05:09,182 --> 00:05:12,550
- good night.
- Good night.
88
00:05:13,485 --> 00:05:15,587
Oh, who am I kidding?
I am so that girl!
89
00:05:32,504 --> 00:05:34,071
Slut.
90
00:05:37,910 --> 00:05:42,280
Oh. Good evening, Mother.
91
00:05:42,282 --> 00:05:46,150
It's really late.
Where you been?
92
00:05:46,152 --> 00:05:49,153
Oh... we got a tip the health department
93
00:05:49,155 --> 00:05:52,223
is gonna inspect the
restaurant tomorrow.
94
00:05:52,225 --> 00:05:54,492
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
95
00:05:54,494 --> 00:05:56,694
And one of the freezers
is leaking coolant
96
00:05:56,696 --> 00:05:59,130
and it goes all over
where the fish is, so...
97
00:05:59,132 --> 00:06:01,465
we all had to stay and
clean out the walk-in.
98
00:06:01,467 --> 00:06:06,370
- Took forever.
- Almost as long as this lie.
99
00:06:07,739 --> 00:06:10,741
I'm telling the truth.
Why don't you believe me?
100
00:06:10,743 --> 00:06:13,511
Because your panties are in your purse.
101
00:06:16,281 --> 00:06:19,850
Oh, that.
Well, if you must know,
102
00:06:19,852 --> 00:06:21,518
I had a little accident.
103
00:06:22,988 --> 00:06:26,023
Really? You would rather
admit to wetting yourself
104
00:06:26,025 --> 00:06:28,225
than telling me you were with somebody?
105
00:06:29,227 --> 00:06:31,328
[sighs]
106
00:06:31,330 --> 00:06:34,698
Okay.
There was a guy.
107
00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:38,569
- An incredible guy.
- Okay, now we're talking.
108
00:06:38,571 --> 00:06:40,504
Why were you so embarrassed?
109
00:06:40,506 --> 00:06:42,573
'Cause I met him at 9:00
110
00:06:42,575 --> 00:06:44,875
and had my feet behind
my ears at midnight.
111
00:06:48,813 --> 00:06:50,347
And...?
112
00:06:52,584 --> 00:06:54,585
That's it.
That's embarrassing.
113
00:06:54,587 --> 00:06:56,787
Wow. You and I are so different.
114
00:06:57,789 --> 00:07:02,426
- Tell me about him.
- Ooh... where do I start?
115
00:07:02,428 --> 00:07:05,629
- He's a fireman.
- Like it.
116
00:07:05,631 --> 00:07:10,033
- He has a Doctorate in philosophy.
- Boring.
117
00:07:10,035 --> 00:07:11,201
[exhales]
118
00:07:11,203 --> 00:07:13,737
And when his pants came down,
oh, Mom,
119
00:07:13,739 --> 00:07:15,906
you could play horseshoes on that thing.
120
00:07:19,477 --> 00:07:21,645
Back to like.
121
00:07:23,781 --> 00:07:27,717
- So when are you seeing him again?
- I'm not.
122
00:07:27,719 --> 00:07:31,121
Why? Did you steal
something from his apartment?
123
00:07:31,123 --> 00:07:34,090
No! Who does that?
124
00:07:34,092 --> 00:07:36,126
No one.
125
00:07:37,595 --> 00:07:41,464
- Continue.
- It's just...
126
00:07:41,466 --> 00:07:43,633
[sighs]
127
00:07:43,635 --> 00:07:46,436
- ...he drinks an awful lot.
- So?
128
00:07:46,438 --> 00:07:49,439
What do you mean "so?"
I'm closing in on a year sober.
129
00:07:49,441 --> 00:07:50,673
I can't be around that kind of stuff.
130
00:07:50,675 --> 00:07:53,610
Oh, come on. What's the point
of building a better life
131
00:07:53,612 --> 00:07:55,078
if you can't let a man
treat you like a whore
132
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:56,913
every once in a while?
133
00:07:58,883 --> 00:08:02,151
It was a one-night stand, end of story.
134
00:08:02,153 --> 00:08:06,122
Wait, how 'bout this?
You double up on your meetings
135
00:08:06,124 --> 00:08:08,791
and bang him till his liver explodes.
Win-win.
136
00:08:08,793 --> 00:08:14,163
That's great advice.
You really should be a life coach.
137
00:08:14,165 --> 00:08:16,332
You know, you're being sarcastic,
138
00:08:16,334 --> 00:08:19,441
but my probation officer
says the same thing!
139
00:08:22,339 --> 00:08:24,540
[panting]
140
00:08:32,516 --> 00:08:36,686
The French call the orgasm
"la petite mort."
141
00:08:36,688 --> 00:08:38,788
Means "the little death."
142
00:08:38,790 --> 00:08:42,158
Well, then you're a serial killer.
143
00:08:47,931 --> 00:08:51,267
- This is nice.
- You know what would be nicer?
144
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:54,203
I told you I'm not gonna do that.
145
00:08:55,572 --> 00:08:57,540
I'm talking about a little weed.
146
00:08:57,542 --> 00:09:01,544
Oh.
I'm not gonna do that either.
147
00:09:01,546 --> 00:09:04,213
- You mind if I...
- No. No, no, no, of course not.
148
00:09:06,817 --> 00:09:11,420
So, you don't drink,
you don't get high...
149
00:09:11,422 --> 00:09:13,389
are you, like,
a Mormon or something?
150
00:09:13,391 --> 00:09:14,390
[scoffs]
151
00:09:14,392 --> 00:09:16,225
There was a time I would've thought
152
00:09:16,227 --> 00:09:18,494
you were Mormon for just
drinking and smoking.
153
00:09:18,496 --> 00:09:22,331
- Seriously?
- Don't take this the wrong way,
154
00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:24,566
but bourbon and weed is for babies.
155
00:09:24,568 --> 00:09:27,803
Oh, my heart is filling with love.
156
00:09:27,805 --> 00:09:31,840
Yeah, well...
I'm doing the sober thing for now.
157
00:09:31,842 --> 00:09:35,511
Really? Good for you.
158
00:09:37,313 --> 00:09:38,580
I admire that.
159
00:09:38,582 --> 00:09:41,817
Facing life on life's terms
is a warrior's path.
160
00:09:41,819 --> 00:09:45,053
Well, I don't think I'm a warrior.
161
00:09:45,055 --> 00:09:47,422
No, that's exactly what you are.
162
00:09:47,424 --> 00:09:49,057
You're a spiritual warrior.
163
00:09:49,059 --> 00:09:51,360
Every eastern philosophy emphasizes...
164
00:09:51,362 --> 00:09:53,629
[inhaling]
165
00:09:53,631 --> 00:09:57,332
...physical sobriety
to allow the consciousness,
166
00:09:57,334 --> 00:10:01,069
the ever present "I,"
the godhead, to merge with...
167
00:10:01,071 --> 00:10:02,604
[inhales]
168
00:10:02,606 --> 00:10:05,774
...the white-hot moment
of the eternal now.
169
00:10:05,776 --> 00:10:07,909
[inhales]
170
00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:09,945
You don't say.
171
00:10:09,947 --> 00:10:13,248
Animals get it.
They live in the now.
172
00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:17,670
A hummingbird doesn't regret yesterday
or worry about tomorrow
173
00:10:17,671 --> 00:10:22,641
'cause that doesn't actually exist,
except in our minds. [inhales]
174
00:10:23,926 --> 00:10:27,729
You know, a small TV in here
wouldn't be the worst idea in the world.
175
00:10:33,102 --> 00:10:38,840
- I like you.
- I think you like everything right now.
176
00:10:38,842 --> 00:10:42,644
No...
this isn't the weed talking.
177
00:10:42,646 --> 00:10:46,848
I really like you.
I think you're an amazing woman.
178
00:10:46,850 --> 00:10:51,252
Thanks.
I really like you, too.
179
00:10:57,192 --> 00:10:59,961
- Can I ask you something?
- Sure.
180
00:10:59,963 --> 00:11:03,221
Are sober people allowed to do coke?
181
00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:09,237
- No.
- You're so brave!
182
00:11:10,673 --> 00:11:12,473
Be right back.
183
00:11:15,177 --> 00:11:19,046
Hey, old buddy.
Remember me?
184
00:11:19,047 --> 00:11:21,112
[sighs]
185
00:11:27,677 --> 00:11:29,378
Hi, I'm Bonnie. I'm an alcoholic.
186
00:11:29,380 --> 00:11:30,612
Others: Hi, Bonnie.
187
00:11:30,614 --> 00:11:32,914
And as a newly certified life coach,
188
00:11:32,916 --> 00:11:36,118
I'm also the answer
to all your problems.
189
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:39,588
- Take one, and pass it around.
- Oh, Mom, no.
190
00:11:39,590 --> 00:11:41,890
I don't do "no."
I'm in the "yes" game.
191
00:11:42,859 --> 00:11:44,559
It's time for me to
pay forward everything
192
00:11:44,561 --> 00:11:46,995
I've learned on my remarkable
journey of sobriety.
193
00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:49,297
You've been sober for three months.
194
00:11:49,299 --> 00:11:52,367
Yeah. I've been "winning"
for three months.
195
00:11:52,435 --> 00:11:57,138
And I want all of you to win, too.
In love, at work, and with family.
196
00:11:57,140 --> 00:11:59,741
- 150 bucks an hour?
- You want me off your couch or not?
197
00:11:59,743 --> 00:12:02,110
Very reasonable!
198
00:12:02,112 --> 00:12:04,245
After the meeting, I'll
be over by the cookies
199
00:12:04,247 --> 00:12:05,313
to answer your questions.
200
00:12:05,315 --> 00:12:09,384
- Oh, where did you get certified?
- Not that question.
201
00:12:10,886 --> 00:12:13,188
Thanks for letting me share. Christy?
202
00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:16,124
Oh, you know, I'm good.
203
00:12:16,126 --> 00:12:19,294
Nothing going on with me.
I'm gonna pass.
204
00:12:20,095 --> 00:12:22,263
What about the drunk fireman?
205
00:12:23,832 --> 00:12:28,169
- I'm passing, Mom. Mary?
- Oh, thank you.
206
00:12:28,171 --> 00:12:31,943
- My name is Mary...
- Yeah, yeah, we know your name!
207
00:12:33,175 --> 00:12:35,043
You-you sure you don't
want to tell everybody
208
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:39,782
you spent last night staring down
the business end of a bong?
209
00:12:39,817 --> 00:12:41,749
Nope.
You're up, Mary.
210
00:12:41,751 --> 00:12:46,888
- Okay. Well, my son's back in jail...
- Where he belongs, Mary!
211
00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:50,825
Christy, you need to be
honest with this group.
212
00:12:50,827 --> 00:12:52,994
You were the one who
encouraged me to see him.
213
00:12:52,996 --> 00:12:54,695
I didn't encourage you
to start getting high.
214
00:12:54,697 --> 00:12:58,499
I didn't get high! Go ahead, Mary.
He's in jail and...?
215
00:12:58,501 --> 00:13:01,569
And the Aryan nation guys
really don't like him.
216
00:13:01,571 --> 00:13:04,939
Tell him to put a swastika
on his head. He'll be fine.
217
00:13:05,540 --> 00:13:06,974
And I just wanted you to get laid.
218
00:13:06,976 --> 00:13:11,271
- I didn't want you to ruin your life.
- Yeah, 'cause that's your job!
219
00:13:14,449 --> 00:13:15,750
[door shuts]
220
00:13:15,752 --> 00:13:19,153
- Can I finish now?
- Seriously?!
221
00:13:19,155 --> 00:13:23,013
I just had a big fight with my daughter.
You're gonna hog the meeting?
222
00:13:28,430 --> 00:13:31,031
[tires squeal, loud crash]
223
00:13:35,370 --> 00:13:38,772
- What the hell was that?!
- I don't know!
224
00:13:41,576 --> 00:13:43,477
Christy: Oh, my god!
225
00:13:43,479 --> 00:13:46,513
Top o' the morning to you!
226
00:13:48,016 --> 00:13:50,184
David, what are you doing?!
227
00:13:50,186 --> 00:13:54,488
That's David?
Oh, I totally get it.
228
00:13:54,490 --> 00:13:59,259
And who's this enchantress
in flaid plannel?
229
00:13:59,261 --> 00:14:03,997
- Plaid flannel?
- This is my Mom, Bonnie.
230
00:14:03,999 --> 00:14:06,667
You can't just say Bonnie?
231
00:14:06,669 --> 00:14:08,969
Well, Bonnie, they certainly
left the hose on a long time
232
00:14:08,971 --> 00:14:13,206
- when they poured you.
- Totally, totally get it.
233
00:14:13,208 --> 00:14:16,243
What the hell are you
doing with a fire truck?
234
00:14:16,245 --> 00:14:19,179
I'm making a beer run.
What does it look like?
235
00:14:19,181 --> 00:14:21,882
Come inside.
236
00:14:24,485 --> 00:14:28,121
Everybody go back to bed!
There's no a fire.
237
00:14:28,123 --> 00:14:31,591
It's just my daughter's boyfriend!
He's a drunk!
238
00:14:35,329 --> 00:14:38,298
Sit down.
I'll make you some coffee.
239
00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:41,902
- Thank you.
- I can't believe you were
240
00:14:41,903 --> 00:14:44,738
driving that fire truck
drunk off your ass.
241
00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:47,841
What were you thinking?!
You're smarter than that.
242
00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:50,010
Bonnie: Christy?
243
00:14:50,012 --> 00:14:52,012
Elvis has left the building.
244
00:14:53,381 --> 00:14:57,784
- Oh, boy.
- Hey, do you think he needs a life coach?
245
00:14:57,786 --> 00:14:59,252
What?
246
00:15:00,321 --> 00:15:02,856
I'll just give him a flier.
247
00:15:04,358 --> 00:15:05,425
What's going on?
248
00:15:05,427 --> 00:15:07,393
- Nothing. Go to bed.
- Who's that?
249
00:15:07,395 --> 00:15:11,764
He's... just a friend...
who's taking a nap.
250
00:15:11,766 --> 00:15:15,134
You sure?
He looks drunk.
251
00:15:16,971 --> 00:15:20,173
Violet, please take
your brother back to bed.
252
00:15:20,175 --> 00:15:21,541
Come on, Roscoe.
253
00:15:21,543 --> 00:15:25,377
Remember when Mom was drunk
and we drew mustaches on her?
254
00:15:26,981 --> 00:15:29,349
All right, what's the plan?
255
00:15:29,351 --> 00:15:33,052
I don't know. I guess we
just let him sleep it off.
256
00:15:33,054 --> 00:15:36,356
Yeah. All right, as
long as he doesn't snore.
257
00:15:36,358 --> 00:15:39,125
- Mom, you're sleeping with me.
- I knew that.
258
00:15:40,728 --> 00:15:43,529
Okay, help me out here.
259
00:15:44,531 --> 00:15:48,134
Ah, look.
His emergency weed.
260
00:15:48,136 --> 00:15:50,937
Keeps it in his shoe?
What an amateur.
261
00:15:50,939 --> 00:15:55,274
I can't believe I used to put my kids
through all this craziness.
262
00:15:55,276 --> 00:15:58,010
Well, at least you
never stole a fire truck.
263
00:15:58,012 --> 00:16:01,047
No. Wait...
264
00:16:01,049 --> 00:16:03,282
No.
265
00:16:03,284 --> 00:16:08,521
You know what's really crazy?
The more I'm with him,
266
00:16:08,523 --> 00:16:12,024
the more I want to throw
my sobriety out the window
267
00:16:12,026 --> 00:16:14,894
and get the party going again.
268
00:16:14,896 --> 00:16:17,663
Wow.
269
00:16:17,665 --> 00:16:20,566
I could use a meeting.
Could you use a meeting?
270
00:16:20,568 --> 00:16:24,136
- You think?
- Why don't you start?
271
00:16:24,138 --> 00:16:28,140
Hi, I'm Christy.
I'm an alcoholic.
272
00:16:28,142 --> 00:16:30,876
- Hi, Christy.
- David: Hi, Christy!
273
00:16:34,447 --> 00:16:36,815
All right, here's the thing.
274
00:16:36,817 --> 00:16:40,653
I'm dating this sweet, smart,
275
00:16:40,655 --> 00:16:45,324
smoking hot guy
who's just a train wreck.
276
00:16:45,326 --> 00:16:48,260
And I know that it's not good for me,
277
00:16:48,262 --> 00:16:52,898
but I don't want to
go back to being alone.
278
00:16:55,401 --> 00:16:58,704
- That's all I got.
- Thanks, Christy.
279
00:16:58,706 --> 00:17:00,105
Hi, I'm Bonnie.
I'm an alcoholic.
280
00:17:00,107 --> 00:17:01,406
Hi, Bonnie.
281
00:17:01,408 --> 00:17:04,576
I just want to say how
proud I am of my daughter.
282
00:17:04,578 --> 00:17:06,545
She is the strongest person I know.
283
00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:10,048
If I had a guy like this,
I'd be robbing banks
284
00:17:10,050 --> 00:17:13,552
and shooting heroin into my
eyeballs to keep our love alive.
285
00:17:16,889 --> 00:17:20,492
This was a good idea, Mom.
Thanks.
286
00:17:20,494 --> 00:17:24,329
I'm a life coach...
it's what I do.
287
00:17:25,531 --> 00:17:27,499
- Let's go to bed.
- Yeah.
288
00:17:30,069 --> 00:17:33,138
Oh...
what about the fire truck?
289
00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:35,841
Ooh. He could lose his job!
290
00:17:37,243 --> 00:17:39,611
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
291
00:17:40,546 --> 00:17:42,514
Oh, yeah.
292
00:17:51,724 --> 00:17:53,758
[ringtones play]
293
00:17:55,861 --> 00:17:58,663
- Yeah?
- Why are you stopping?
294
00:17:58,665 --> 00:18:02,167
- It's a red light.
- You're in a fire truck!
295
00:18:02,369 --> 00:18:05,570
Oh, yeah. Hang on.
296
00:18:08,340 --> 00:18:10,475
[siren wails]
297
00:18:11,343 --> 00:18:12,310
Whoo!
298
00:18:12,312 --> 00:18:14,579
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
299
00:18:14,581 --> 00:18:16,180
Whoo-hoo!
300
00:18:23,637 --> 00:18:25,571
Get in the car with your sister.
301
00:18:25,573 --> 00:18:26,772
- I'll be right there.
- Okay.
302
00:18:26,774 --> 00:18:29,942
- Bye, sweetie.
- Bye, Mom.
303
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:32,912
Thanks for taking everybody to school.
304
00:18:32,914 --> 00:18:36,048
No problem.
Did you talk to David yet?
305
00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:38,985
I'm waiting for him to
get out of the shower.
306
00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:42,021
You think he's using my loofah?
307
00:18:42,023 --> 00:18:43,656
Mom.
308
00:18:43,658 --> 00:18:47,293
I'm sorry.
You're doing the right thing.
309
00:18:47,295 --> 00:18:49,762
- I know.
- Don't worry.
310
00:18:49,764 --> 00:18:54,400
There'll be other hot, smart,
freshly exfoliated firemen.
311
00:18:54,402 --> 00:18:58,270
- No, there won't.
- Yeah, probably not.
312
00:18:58,272 --> 00:19:00,239
See ya later.
313
00:19:02,075 --> 00:19:03,842
Morning.
314
00:19:04,945 --> 00:19:06,645
Keep walking, Mom!
315
00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:12,217
Hey, uh,
got some coffee here for you.
316
00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:15,187
Thanks for bringing the truck back.
317
00:19:15,189 --> 00:19:16,822
Ah, it was fun.
318
00:19:16,824 --> 00:19:19,491
Kind of a bitch to
parallel park, though.
319
00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:28,000
- Christy, I might have a problem.
- Oh, you do.
320
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:34,072
- I mean, you do?
- Yeah. I am...
321
00:19:34,074 --> 00:19:38,310
I'm crazy about you
and I cannot get you out of my mind.
322
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:42,560
Oh. Wow.
323
00:19:43,951 --> 00:19:47,219
That's it?
No other problems?
324
00:19:47,221 --> 00:19:52,190
Just you.
And I can't find my emergency weed.
325
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:55,027
Uh-huh.
326
00:19:55,029 --> 00:19:58,063
Feel free to say I'm your problem, too.
327
00:19:58,065 --> 00:20:03,835
Oh, believe me, you're a
huge problem, it's just, uh...
328
00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:11,877
I'm sorry, I don't think
I can do this anymore.
329
00:20:11,879 --> 00:20:14,746
What? Wh...
Why not?
330
00:20:14,748 --> 00:20:16,133
'Cause you're still
doing the party thing,
331
00:20:16,205 --> 00:20:20,518
and that's cool, but...
I can't handle it.
332
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,555
I could lose everything.
333
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:29,361
What if I cleaned up my act?
334
00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:35,266
- Are you willing to do that?
- I'm willing to lie about it.
335
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:39,971
Yeah, that's not gonna work.
336
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:46,377
- I get it. I'm sorry.
- Me, too.
337
00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:52,150
You're still my hummingbird warrior.
338
00:20:57,423 --> 00:21:00,958
If you ever change your
mind, you've got my number.
339
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,328
Yeah. 911.
340
00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:09,033
Oh, come on...
341
00:21:14,138 --> 00:21:17,188
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