Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,368 --> 00:00:04,403
Is it just me,
or is Dolores
2
00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:06,205
a little too old to
be wearing a skirt
3
00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:07,773
that short
to a meeting?
4
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:09,041
Yeah.
5
00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:10,275
When you're 70,
6
00:00:10,277 --> 00:00:13,078
you should not shop
at Forever 21.
(laughs)
7
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,813
And I don't think
she was wearing underwear.
8
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,248
Oh, I was sitting
across from her.
9
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:17,416
She wasn't.
10
00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:19,651
It looked like cotton
candy down there.
11
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,589
Oh, God, somebody
should tell her.
12
00:00:23,591 --> 00:00:25,357
Yeah? How'd that go?
"Dolores, honey,
13
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,092
lower the skirt
or trim the witch broom."
14
00:00:29,129 --> 00:00:30,729
That's good.
15
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:32,498
Or, you know,
just go right at it.
16
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:34,299
"Cross your legs, granny,
17
00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:36,101
I can see your yammy."
18
00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:37,436
(laughing)
19
00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:39,505
Granny? Yammy?
20
00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:40,506
Nothing?
21
00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:42,441
Sorry.
22
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:43,942
I'm a little
preoccupied.
23
00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:45,477
Is everything okay?
24
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,346
Oh, sure.
25
00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:49,314
Other than,
you know,
26
00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:50,816
having cancer.
27
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:52,918
(laughing)
28
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:54,987
Oh, you're
not laughing.
29
00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:59,158
What kind?
30
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,159
Breast.
31
00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:01,427
But we caught
it early,
32
00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:04,430
so there's a good chance
I'll be okay.
33
00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:05,564
Well, that's
great news.
34
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:06,732
Yeah, that's great.
35
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:09,168
Wow.
36
00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:11,236
Cancer.
37
00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:13,539
Sorry.
38
00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:15,207
Don't you dare
treat me differently.
No.
39
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:17,076
Of course not. No.
No.
40
00:01:24,050 --> 00:01:25,350
Remind me on
the way home
41
00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:26,852
I gotta pick up
some brownie makings
42
00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,287
for Roscoe's
bake sale tomorrow.
43
00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:30,689
You're actually gonna start
baking at 11:00 at night?
44
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,391
I know,
it's a nightmare.
45
00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:34,460
Not like what
you're going through.
46
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:37,396
Oh.
Here you go.
47
00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:38,530
What are you doing?
48
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:39,531
What?
She told us
49
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:40,632
not to treat her
any differently.
50
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:04,089
Oh, it's awful
about Marjorie, huh?
51
00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:05,457
Yeah.
52
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,825
I mean, she doesn't
look sick.
53
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:07,893
(sighs)
54
00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:09,495
She did order soup.
55
00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:11,897
That is the official food
of sick people.
56
00:02:13,666 --> 00:02:15,334
Or maybe she's
making it up.
57
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:17,369
Who makes up cancer?
58
00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:18,670
I did once.
59
00:02:20,573 --> 00:02:22,074
You know, I-I didn't
want to hurt
a guy's feelings.
60
00:02:22,076 --> 00:02:24,476
Then I ran into him five years
later at a Costco.
61
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,146
Tried to tell him
it was a miracle.
62
00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:29,248
Who'd have thought
that would backfire?
63
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:32,751
I know, I never
go to Costco.
64
00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:37,389
I just never know what
to do in these situations.
65
00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,525
Do you think she noticed
I didn't give her a hug?
66
00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:41,226
Yeah, what was
that all about?
67
00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:43,262
I panicked halfway in.
68
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:46,431
I didn't want to...
smoosh the cancer.
69
00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:51,403
Well, the fist bump
was an odd choice.
70
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:53,572
(sighs)
71
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,107
God.
72
00:02:55,109 --> 00:02:57,342
It really puts our problems
in perspective.
73
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:58,710
Yeah.
74
00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:00,412
Everything seems small
by comparison.
75
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:01,480
Right?
76
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:02,915
We need to be more grateful.
77
00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:03,949
Amen.
78
00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:05,684
(honks horn)
79
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,920
Green means go,
stupid!
80
00:03:07,922 --> 00:03:09,221
Starting now.
81
00:03:19,165 --> 00:03:20,632
Hey.
82
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,334
Oh. Hi.
83
00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:26,872
I was just checking
myself in the bathroom.
84
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:27,873
How'd you do?
85
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,041
I think I'm okay.
86
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:31,109
I, uh... I got
a couple of freckles
87
00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:32,377
I'm gonna keep
an eye on.
88
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,378
You?
89
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,413
I'm good.
90
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:36,515
Just made myself
a little horny.
91
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:39,218
VIOLET:
Damn it, damn it, damn it!
92
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:40,619
What's that about?
93
00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,020
She's 17
and pregnant.
94
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,889
I'm surprised she doesn't
do that all day.
95
00:03:44,857 --> 00:03:46,358
(sighs)
96
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,260
(knocking at door)
97
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:49,561
Hello?
98
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,230
Oh, come on!
Lock the door!
99
00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:52,965
Oh, no, no.
No.
100
00:03:52,967 --> 00:03:54,800
I'm trying to put 'em on,
not take 'em off.
101
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:55,801
What?
102
00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:57,436
None of my
stupid pants fit.
103
00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,605
Come on, put some
muscle into it!
104
00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:01,306
Aren't we squishing
the baby?
105
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:02,307
The baby's fine.
106
00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:04,443
Button my damn pants!
107
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:06,111
Help.
108
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,115
Violet, you're pregnant.
109
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:11,750
You had to know this was coming.
110
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,885
I did, but I still
want to look hot.
111
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:16,622
You were hot,
that's why you're pregnant.
112
00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:18,390
It's true.
113
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:20,058
(sighs)
114
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:21,760
Well, it's not fair.
115
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,495
Not fair?
(laughs)
116
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:25,063
Oh, I've got news for you,
117
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:26,598
this is just the beginning.
118
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,367
A couple of months from now,
you're gonna be packin' on
119
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,002
another 30 pounds,
you'll have stretch marks,
120
00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:31,637
your boobs'll be enormous,
121
00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:33,472
and there's
hemorrhoids...
What's that
about the boobs?
122
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:34,339
Shut up.
123
00:04:35,308 --> 00:04:36,441
And you know what?
124
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,776
None of that stuff matters,
125
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,711
because you're healthy.
126
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,580
And healthy is everything.
127
00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:43,448
It's the most
important thing in the world.
128
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,449
Yeah, I get it, but...
129
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:45,951
But nothing!
130
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,419
Now take those
stupid jeans off,
131
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,888
put on some sweatpants
and pray for a C-section
132
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:51,023
'cause that bundle of joy's
133
00:04:51,025 --> 00:04:54,393
gonna do some damage
on its way out.
134
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,765
Bravo.
135
00:05:05,104 --> 00:05:07,873
(knocking at door)
136
00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:16,014
(knocking)
137
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,015
Ooh, God.
138
00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:18,083
Oh, my God.
139
00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:20,619
Oh.
140
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,788
I'm sorry to come
by so early,
141
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,423
but I made brownies
for Christy
142
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:25,791
for her son's
bake sale.
143
00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:27,693
What?
Yeah.
144
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:28,727
They're labeled.
145
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,896
Okay, these are
regular brownies,
146
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:33,665
and these have no sugar,
no dairy and no gluten.
147
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,667
I call them
"frownies."
148
00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:40,372
What?
149
00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:42,007
What's going on?
150
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:46,311
Uh, Marjorie made brownies
for Roscoe's bake sale.
151
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,780
Oh, thank God,
I completely forgot.
152
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,215
Marjorie,
you saved my life.
153
00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:51,283
I mean...
154
00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:55,654
How's it going?
155
00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:57,022
Pretty good.
156
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,457
Have a nice day.
157
00:05:58,459 --> 00:05:59,491
Wait, um...
158
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:00,959
do you want to
come in for coffee?
159
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,694
I can't.
I got a cab waiting
160
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,396
to take me across town
for my chemo.
161
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:05,831
Well, hang on,
just give me a second
162
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:07,332
and I'll get dressed
and I'll take you.
163
00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:09,634
Oh, I don't want
to put you out.
164
00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:11,036
No, it's not
a problem.
165
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,437
My daughter'll take
Roscoe to school.
166
00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:13,672
Mom, you want
to come with us?
167
00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:14,773
To chemo?
168
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,842
You betcha.
169
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,547
Okay. Thank you.
170
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,683
I'll let the cab go.
171
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:27,552
Oh...
172
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:28,787
Do you believe her?
Mmm.
173
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,522
She is in a fight
for her life
174
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:31,857
and she still
finds the time
175
00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:33,625
to bake brownies
for my kid's school.
176
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,761
Yeah, the woman
is a saint.
177
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:37,095
(sighs) Thanks for
going with us.
178
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:38,363
Well, what choice
did I have?
179
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:39,631
She survives this,
180
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,700
I don't need her
telling people
what a bitch I am.
181
00:06:56,849 --> 00:06:58,016
Oh, good news.
182
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,484
This cancer clinic
183
00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:01,019
got four and a half stars
on Yelp.
184
00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:05,624
That's... great.
185
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:06,792
Think about it.
186
00:07:06,794 --> 00:07:08,860
You gotta be alive
to write the review.
187
00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:15,267
Ooh, check it out.
188
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:16,568
Angelina Jolie's
new boobs.
189
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:17,803
Life gave her lemons,
190
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:19,871
she turned them
into grapefruits.
191
00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:22,274
Speaking of which,
192
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:23,975
have, uh, you thought
about new ones?
193
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,477
What?
194
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:26,511
(laughing):
No.
195
00:07:26,513 --> 00:07:27,979
I'm doing chemo
and radiation
196
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,481
to try and hang
on to these.
197
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:31,082
Or... you could
go under the knife
198
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:33,452
and wake up with
a perky new rack.
199
00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:36,154
My rack is fine.
Oh, please.
200
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:38,356
You could tuck those
puppies into your belt.
201
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,830
Mom, can you please talk
about something else?
202
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,331
Sure.
203
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:49,267
What's your plan
for the baldness?
204
00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:52,304
You know, they said
that might not happen.
205
00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:53,472
Oh, it's happening.
206
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:55,774
You're gonna look like
a thumb in a housecoat.
207
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,777
Why is she here?
208
00:07:58,779 --> 00:07:59,945
She's trying to help.
209
00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:03,448
Oh. Did not get that.
210
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:06,651
Look, I say we start shopping
for wigs today.
211
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:07,719
I don't think so.
212
00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:08,720
You sure?
213
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:09,988
Curly blonde hair
214
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,556
and some gummy bear
double "D"s,
215
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:13,592
you might even get laid.
By a man.
216
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:17,195
Mom, ease up.
217
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:18,530
I'm sorry,
I'm just trying
218
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:19,931
to lighten the mood.
219
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,166
(sighs)
220
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,168
What are gummy
bear breasts?
221
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,769
The latest
in implants.
222
00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:27,339
Like a memory foam
mattress with nipples.
223
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:31,676
Hi, Marjorie.
224
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:32,677
Ready to start your treatment?
225
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,212
Yes, we are.
I'm ready, too.
226
00:08:35,147 --> 00:08:36,748
Come on.
227
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,350
I'm her best friend.
228
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:40,919
So am I.
229
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,387
What do I need new boobs for?
230
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:44,456
I have you two.
231
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:49,160
Mommy's home.
232
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:54,332
Oh, my God.
233
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:57,402
I thought the cancer
clinic was depressing.
234
00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:02,240
Marjorie, how many
cats do you own?
235
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,675
Oh, you don't own cats.
236
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:05,777
You love them.
237
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:07,512
Okay.
238
00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:10,382
How many cats
do you love?
239
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:11,716
Well, let's see.
240
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,184
That's Carlos Santana,
241
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:14,920
and that's Grace Slick,
242
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,421
and that's Boz Scaggs
243
00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:18,156
and Steve Miller,
and these three are
244
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:19,925
the Tower of Power
horn section.
245
00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:24,129
This fat little
troublemaker...
(meows)
246
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,064
is Jerry Garcia.
247
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,366
So... eight.
248
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:30,368
(cat meows)
249
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:33,004
Oh, Marjorie, when did
you lose your way?
250
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:35,473
I need to make them lunch.
251
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:37,642
No, no, no.
You rest.
252
00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:39,210
We'll take care of it.
(cat meows)
253
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:40,245
Oh...
254
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,414
Where do you keep
the cat food?
255
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:44,416
I don't feed them cat food.
256
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,952
Of course not.
257
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:48,620
What do you feed them?
Well,
258
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:51,056
there's a freshwater trout
in the fridge.
259
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,424
You put that
in the blender,
260
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:53,425
pulse until creamy,
261
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,126
and then add rice
and veggies.
262
00:09:56,662 --> 00:09:57,896
Don't look at me.
263
00:09:57,898 --> 00:09:59,264
I'm not making
a sushi smoothie.
264
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,635
Fine,
I'll do it.
265
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:05,670
(sneezes)
266
00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:08,006
Oh, are you allergic to cats?
267
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:09,841
A little.
Since when?
268
00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:13,645
Since birth, Mom.
269
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:17,649
With all
these cats,
270
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:20,218
you're wise not
to have nice furniture.
271
00:10:26,225 --> 00:10:27,792
(whispering):
I'm sorry.
272
00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:41,640
Hey, Christy, look.
273
00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:44,376
I'm Dolores.
274
00:10:55,454 --> 00:10:57,656
(snorks)
275
00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:02,394
(nasally):
Chamomile with honey.
276
00:11:02,396 --> 00:11:03,828
Thank you.
277
00:11:05,197 --> 00:11:07,065
Did you, uh, make some tea
for me?
278
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:10,502
Did I ever get a birthday party?
279
00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:15,407
(sneezes) Uh!
280
00:11:15,409 --> 00:11:17,375
So, listen,
281
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:21,179
I was thinking that we could
call a couple of the girls
282
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:25,150
from the meeting and have them
take turns helping you out.
283
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:30,021
You know, shopping,
driving you to treatment...
284
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,756
blending fish.
285
00:11:32,925 --> 00:11:34,926
I don't want
anyone else to know.
286
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:37,495
Why not?
287
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:38,630
Go away.
288
00:11:42,468 --> 00:11:43,835
Because I don't want
289
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,837
anyone feeling sorry for me
because I'm sick.
290
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:49,140
Oh, Marjorie, no one's gonna
feel sorry for you
291
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,241
'cause you're sick.
292
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:51,643
Yeah, they'll be sorry for you
293
00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:53,411
'cause you're
a crazy ol' cat lady.
294
00:11:57,016 --> 00:11:58,950
And if you're so concerned
about your privacy,
295
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,251
why'd you tell us?
296
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,588
Oh! Oh!
297
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:05,557
Oh, please, scoot.
298
00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:11,096
Because you're
my closest friends.
299
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,264
Oh, that's even sadder.
300
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:18,169
Well, what about your son?
301
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:20,371
Does he know?
302
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:23,074
I haven't talked to him
in a long time.
303
00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:26,444
Maybe we could call him and...
304
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,246
No, leave him alone.
305
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,381
But I just think that...
306
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:31,616
I said no!
307
00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:35,253
He has his life, I have mine.
308
00:12:37,556 --> 00:12:39,791
All right, fine.
309
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,962
I gotta get to work.
310
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:46,598
(sniffles, sighs)
311
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:47,899
How do I look?
312
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:49,534
Like death warmed over.
313
00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:51,970
No offense.
314
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:59,677
Well, I will leave you in
the capable hands of my...
315
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,080
I'll just leave you.
316
00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:04,449
(snorks)
317
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:12,223
I don't suppose you
wanna make some tea for me.
318
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,863
(sniffles)
319
00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:20,031
(clears throat)
320
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,472
Cocaine?
321
00:13:30,609 --> 00:13:32,076
Cat dander.
322
00:13:32,078 --> 00:13:35,280
Mm. Is that what the kids
are calling it now?
323
00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:40,819
Why is the Japanese
family at table six
324
00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:42,587
wearing surgical masks?
325
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:45,056
Because they're paranoid.
326
00:13:47,927 --> 00:13:49,060
Are you sick?
327
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:51,062
Uh! No, I've got allergies.
328
00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:53,431
Well, either way,
you don't look too good.
329
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:54,732
Maybe you should go home.
330
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:57,669
Maybe I should, Gabriel.
331
00:13:57,671 --> 00:14:00,772
Maybe we should all go home
and be with our loved ones
332
00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:02,106
'cause death is coming!
333
00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:04,142
It's coming for you
and you
334
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,477
and you and you!
335
00:14:11,817 --> 00:14:14,819
She seemed a lot less crazy
when I was sleeping with her.
336
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:16,120
They all do.
337
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:27,832
(door opens)
338
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:29,500
Hey.
Hi.
339
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:30,668
How was work?
340
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:34,239
People paid me
to stay away from them.
341
00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:40,178
How's Marjorie?
342
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:41,746
She's doing okay.
343
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,115
I just put her
to bed.
344
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:46,017
You stayed with her
the whole day?
345
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:49,520
Yep. I made her dinner,
did the laundry,
346
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:50,822
panned for cat nuggets
347
00:14:50,824 --> 00:14:53,358
in the kitty litter.
(clicks tongue)
348
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,993
Wow.
349
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:58,062
Look at you being all caring
and compassionate
350
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,131
without rolling on ecstasy.
351
00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:04,135
I know.
I'm as surprised as you are.
352
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,971
I just, I can't
help feeling
353
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:08,773
the woman's getting
a raw deal.
354
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:12,143
I mean, she's been
sober for 32 years,
355
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,345
she's always there
for anybody who needs her.
356
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,381
And what's her reward?
357
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:17,649
Cancer.
358
00:15:17,651 --> 00:15:18,883
I know.
359
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:21,386
You start thinking,
"What's the point?"
360
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:22,520
It beats me.
361
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:25,256
The unconditional
love of family?
362
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,692
Ugh. Maybe.
363
00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:32,630
It's a compelling argument
for staying loaded till you die.
364
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:37,035
Marjorie gave me that same look.
365
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:54,185
Oh, God!
366
00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:58,556
Can I help you?
367
00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:02,060
Hi. I-I'm looking
for a Jerry Armstrong.
368
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:03,227
That's me.
369
00:16:03,229 --> 00:16:04,729
Oh, okay, great.
370
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,298
I'm Christy. I'm a friend
of your mother's.
371
00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:10,001
Not interested.
372
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:11,336
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
373
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:14,038
Um, I just want you to know
374
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:17,842
that she's going
through a tough time.
375
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,344
She's got cancer.
376
00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:22,613
Okay, now I know.
377
00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:23,781
Have a nice day.
378
00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:25,950
Oh come on.
She's your mother.
379
00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:28,019
Let me guess.
380
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:31,723
You're one of her little
Anonymous friends.
381
00:16:31,725 --> 00:16:34,092
Yeah.
382
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:37,595
Yeah. 12 simple steps
that let you off the hook
383
00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:40,098
for ruining everyone's life.
384
00:16:42,134 --> 00:16:47,105
Well, there's more
to it than that.
385
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,073
There's also coffee and cookies.
386
00:16:52,978 --> 00:16:55,713
Look, uh...
387
00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:58,216
let me tell ya something,
Christy.
388
00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:00,551
My mother was a drunk
and a drug addict
389
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:03,054
who abandoned me
more times than I can count.
390
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:06,991
So you'll have to excuse me
if I'm rooting for the cancer.
391
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,528
Wow.
392
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,631
That's a Mother's Day card
you don't see.
393
00:17:16,602 --> 00:17:19,037
Listen, Jerry,
I understand how you feel.
394
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:21,406
I had the same kind of mom.
395
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:24,942
But she's changed,
and I've changed.
396
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:27,645
I've changed more.
397
00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:29,814
I'm actually a much better
person than she is.
398
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:33,451
Well, uh, thanks for sharing.
399
00:17:34,186 --> 00:17:36,220
Are we done?
400
00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:41,325
You just need to know that your
mom is not like you remember.
401
00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:43,795
She's a warm and loving woman
who has helped
402
00:17:43,797 --> 00:17:46,164
a lot of people, including me.
403
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:48,933
And a bunch of cats.
404
00:17:50,102 --> 00:17:53,337
Which you two seem
to have in common.
405
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:54,839
Great.
406
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,040
Bye.
407
00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:04,615
I saw that ending in a hug.
408
00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:10,922
The trick to forging
a signature
409
00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:14,859
is turning the original
upside down when you copy it.
410
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:16,627
How'd you learn that?
411
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:18,362
'Cause sometimes grandmas
have to write checks
412
00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:20,164
they're not supposed to.
413
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,434
Sorry I'm late.
414
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:24,936
Where were you?
415
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,838
Doesn't matter.
416
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:30,608
Look, this is gonna sound weird,
but I just want you guys
417
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,376
to know that I love you
418
00:18:32,378 --> 00:18:34,645
and I am so happy
we're all together.
419
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:37,248
Are you drinking again?
420
00:18:38,917 --> 00:18:42,153
Violet, you can't ask that
every time I say I love you.
421
00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:45,523
(sighs) Here, I stopped
to get you some new jeans.
422
00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:46,591
Really?
423
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:48,526
Yeah, look.
424
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:50,728
They're cute and they've
got a stretchy waist.
425
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,029
Thanks.
426
00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:53,431
You're welcome.
427
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:56,934
I'm sorry I was a little rough
on you the other day.
428
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:58,936
It's okay.
No, it's not.
429
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:01,572
I want you to visit me
when I'm dying.
430
00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:04,175
Sure.
431
00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:06,644
Great!
432
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:10,248
Now, uh, what's going
on over here?
433
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:11,249
Tell her.
434
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:13,217
I flunked my math test.
435
00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:14,952
Oh, Roscoe, you gotta apply
yourself!
436
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:16,187
Otherwise,
you're gonna...!
437
00:19:17,222 --> 00:19:18,222
(sighs)
438
00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:20,725
Okay, let me start over.
439
00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:22,827
You are a very smart
young man,
440
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:25,630
and I know that
you will do better
next time.
441
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,665
I doubt it.
442
00:19:30,035 --> 00:19:31,769
Do you need me to sign it?
443
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:33,171
That's okay.
444
00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:34,972
Grandma's teaching me
to forge your signature.
445
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:37,008
Really?
I don't think
446
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:39,810
he can fool a bank,
but he can sure
fool a teacher.
447
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:56,928
Thanks for getting
all dolled up for my chemo.
448
00:19:56,930 --> 00:20:00,198
Oh, this?
Just threw it on.
449
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,334
Oh, please, you're trying
to bag that cute doctor.
450
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:06,204
Say again. I couldn't
hear you over your boobs.
451
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:13,010
Regardless, I'm really glad
you're both here.
452
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,630
He's gay.
453
00:20:37,536 --> 00:20:39,203
(text alert sounds)
454
00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:45,977
Oh, my God.
455
00:20:45,979 --> 00:20:47,745
What?
456
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,715
I just got a text from my son.
457
00:20:52,651 --> 00:20:54,318
He wants to see me.
458
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:01,525
That's great.
35421
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof