Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

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(APPLAUDING)

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

Mom, I'm home five seconds, you're already cooking.

Come here. I got something to show you.

Wait a minute. I haven't finished cooking your dinner.

It's a surprise. It's all right.

Come on.

Shut your eyes.

Good. Shut 'em.

You ready? Mmm-hmm.

You sure? Mmm-hmm.

All right.

Oh, it's cold. It's not cold.

Even the chickens are cold.

Steps. Big steps. Ready?

One...

Two...

And three. Three!

Okay, look.

Now this way. Shut 'em!

Shut 'em. Come on.

Now, Frank, how far are we going to go?

Come on. Come on, you're all right.

Sweetie, the dinner is...

The dinner's fine.

Okay.

Almost, almost. Now...

Now!

Oh.

Oh, it's...

Is that beautiful?

It's lovely. I know.

I know. I won it in a poker game in Italy.

Huh?

Well, drive it carefully, honey.

I will...

Enjoy it. I will.

But be careful.

God, Mom, you're such a mom.

You ready? We're going for a ride.

Oh, no. I have to finish dinner.

Hey Mom! One ride.

Ohhh.

Watch this, Ma, no hands.

Oh, no! Frank, don't do that!

I wouldn't do that. Come on.

You!

(LAUGHING)

MAN: I'm in for five.

MAN 2: Thank you, gentlemen.

MAN: My pleasure.

(LAUGHTER)

This is fun, right?

Maybe.

Yeah.

Oh, careful!

Hey, I'm driving here.

I'm home.

(LOUD CRASHING)

(METAL CLANGING)

(BOMBS DROPPING)

Mortar's coming!

Mortar's coming in!

Machine gun, right flank! Machine gun, right flank!

Medic!

(ZAPPING)

Well, it works.

My spike works.

Okay, okay.

(MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY)

Okay. Okay.

Easy. Easy.

Okay.

Take it easy. Take it easy.

No!

WOMAN: I've got a headache.

Have you got some Wite-Out?

Ma!

Ma!

You don't know what it is you got yourself into, bud,

but you're a long way from home.

It's so confusing.

Where to go, where to go?

Oh, yes.

FRANK: Ma!

Oh, bother.

What the hell are you?

(MAD CACKLING)

They're doodles.

Cartoons?

Don't get too close, Doc.

WHISKERS: I can't believe what I've done.

My spike was supposed to send me to your world,

but instead, you're here.

This man's not dangerous to anyone.

As for us, son, we may not be real to you

as yet, but we will be.

You've come to a whole new world.

You've done something extremely rare.

You see, you're in a real place

called the Cool World.

(GIGGLES)

Oh, (GIGGLES), strange.

Say ahhh.

Ahhh.

Bah. When it comes to making the trip in the body...

I've never seen it before.

Oh, my goodness.

I'm sorry about your mother.

You're cartoons.

You're not real.

Ho-ho. We're real, all right!

The possibility of interworld travel

has been an obsession of mine for many, many years.

Ho ho ho ho!

INTERROGATOR: Hey, Doc, wait.

This man is not for you.

He's not a police problem.

He's a mystery of science

and a hero to boot.

I ain't no hero.

Don't be so sure, friend.

With this hole I've opened

there could be all kinds of problems.

They call me Doc Whiskers.

What's your name, son?

I'm Frank Harris.

What did you do in your world?

I was a soldier.

Oh! You could be useful here when I'm gone.

Where are you from?

Um, Vegas.

(PRISONERS SHOUTING)

JACK: Tomorrow, we're out of here.

You're just a drawing, Holli, but...

Without you, I'd never have made it.

Oh, you look good tonight, babe.

HOLLI: It's time you came to me, Jack.

Come to me.

Ahhh!

(JACK YELLING)

(YELLING)

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(HOWLING)

Ooh, baby!

Heya, heya! Heya, heya!

(HOWLING)

I've been waiting for you, darlin'.

(HUMMING)

(RUMMAGING)

Huh?

Hey, Sparkey, what you up to, huh?

What makes you think I'd tell a little punk like you?

Why, he's gone soft for that tomato...

What's her name, H-h-Holli or something. Yeah.

(GIGGLES)

(BUZZER)

Enough out of you, kiddie.

You're too young to be thinking about girls.

Especially that girl.

(GRUMBLES)

Here. A bunch of wooden nickels.

Don't spend them all in one place.

Ah!

(CRIES OF JOY)

(SHRIEKING)

(VOICES)

Ooloo flew the coop last night.

(GIGGLING)

Paulina. Hey, Paulina, come over here.

Did you step in it?

(LAUGHING)

Hey, there's a flower on your head!

(LAUGHING)

Hey.

(KNOCKING)

MALE VOICE: Look out!

I hate it when she meets guys without telling me.

* I light up like

* Neon

* Just a tiny section

* Of your affection in my direction

* Will do, ooh

Detective Harris.

What a pleasure.

I was just rehearsing.

FRANK: Hello, Holli.

This is an exact replica of the dress Marilyn Monroe wore

in Let's Make Love.

I know that movie by heart.

(CRASHING)

The girl gets everything by the end of it,

everything she ever wanted.

It's real.

I mean it.

I even saw a copyright date on it.

Rumor has it, Holli, that you had a noid visitation

at the Slash Club last night.

It was just a mind slip.

Nothing special.

HOLLI: You're just a regular true believer

of law and order, huh?

SMALL VOICE: Give me a couple jacks.

Come on, let's go.

Beat it, copper. Yeah.

Go on, beat it! Just doing my job.

Come on.

Hey, Frank. (SCATTING)

Don't go just yet.

Come here.

I got something to show you.

(GROANS)

Guess what?

I've seen your little museum of Vegas.

And don't start in with your Vegas Vinnie rap.

I've heard it. It bores me.

Vegas Vinnie made the spike,

crossed over, and became the owner of the Union Plaza Hotel.

Vegas Vinnie is a fairy tale, Would.

Doodle moms tell it to doodle kids to help them go to sleep.

It could all be true.

You got over here.

So why couldn't he make it over there?

Or for that matter, why couldn't I?

You could help me. (GROWLING)

Oh!

There'll be no crossovers while I'm around.

Ooh! Hoo!

I've got news for you, pal.

I am not your ordinary doodle.

I've been checking up on what these noid dames have got going in the real world,

and I want it!

Don't you see?

They're real.

They've got power.

When they touch something, they feel it,

and when they taste something,

they really taste it.

And when they do it with a man, oh...

Ooh! They really do it.

Ooh, ooh! Ooh!

What can I say, sweetheart?

I can't help you out in that department.

Oof. Don't you see?

Believe it.

I've had enough.

Oh, yeah? Fine. You don't want to help me,

then I'll find somebody else that will...

Like that noid cartoonist, Jack Deebs.

He's been around a lot lately.

Yes, he has. The whack-a-do who thinks he invented this place.

What do you think I've been talking about, Holli?

(GIGGLES) Well, I'd watch it, honey,

'cause there might be two of you before long.

Ah!

I'm going to tell you this once

'cause you got to be smarter than you look.

You're dealing with shit here that's way over your head.

Now keep your legs crossed and forget about the real world.

Thank you for your time.

Whoo!

Would you look at those legs?

Ah!

(SCREAMING)

(CHEERING)

Stay cool, man.

I'm outta here!

What are you guys doing? Get off the lawn.

Get your ball and get out of here.

Hi, Gail, it's me, Jennifer.

What do you mean? I'm here.

Yeah, I'll call you later tonight, okay?

Oh, boy, another addict, huh?

My god, it's you, isn't it?

You're Jack Deebs, the creator of Cool World, right?

Oh, my god, I can't believe this.

Do you have any idea what kind of an inspiration

your work is to people?

No, I, uh...

I mean, I know people, friends of mine

who want to be Holli Would when they grow up.

Really? Yeah!

Sparks, the goons, all of them.

Oh, man. Your stuff, it's like, crucial, spiritual nourishment for people.

They live on it.

Oh, man.

If my boss was here, he'd throw himself on the ground

right now and give you a lifetime gift certificate to this place.

Oh, yeah. He's kind of crazy.

Hey, would you sign this for him?

Thanks. Go ahead.

So, uh, you're living here now again?

Yeah, I just, uh, I just got back.

Yeah? Well when this place closes down,

I go down to this place right off the strip for coffee.

They read poetry, do jazz, you know.

Problem is, you know, I just got, uh,

got back into town, as I said,

and I haven't really got my feet, uh...

You know, on the ground, uh,

but it's really nice of you to ask.

Sure. Sure.

Hey, Deebs.

Why don't you do a book on that guy you murdered?

You know? That guy you found in bed with your wife.

So, uh, what do I...

It's on the house.

Oh, okay, thanks. So maybe some other time.

Thanks.

Who are you?

Who am I? Who are you, yes.

I'm, uh...

I'm, uh, Jack Deebs.

Really? I didn't realize that. Nice meeting you.

Nice to meet you. Stay well.

Thank you.

See ya.

Hey, bright eyes, yo.

You going to pay for that?

HOLLI: Jack.

Gee whiz, sis! I don't know.

It looks like such fun down there.

All I need is a four, and I win.

It's a four! Yay!

Oops. Snake eyes. You lose.

But...but I won.

You lost. Pay up.

Well, my dear, we could always take it out in trade.

SLASH: Listen here, fleabag,

pay up or your inside...

Is going to be your outside.

(RUMBLING) (ZAPPING)

Ohhh!

(MOANING)

(MOANING)

No.

Heh heh heh. Slash?

Is that you?

Put it there, pal.

(LAUGHING)

(GIGGLING)

(GROWLING)

Get away from me.

Get away from me.

You lost it, man.

That's why you're here.

Get away from me.

Ooh darling, I want your hair.

Ooh, and your neck.

Ooh, I could just squeeze it.

Let me see your ear, sweetie.

Oh, Don't be shy.

He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not.

He loves me! Mmm!

He loves me!

(CACKLING)

Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

Now, be nice.

Nice?

Nice.

BOB: Hello, Holli.

Ooh! You never cease to amaze me.

How fabulous your hair looks today. (GIGGLES)

Boy, can she knock it back.

Hey! Hey! How about saving some for me? Please.

Yeah. Come, come on, come on.

Holli wants to get a look at you.

Come on.

BOB: Come, darling, she awaits.

A little closer. Let her see you. Ah, yeah.

Welcome to my world, big man.

Am I...

Am I dreaming?

Am I dreaming you?

Or are you dreaming me?

(HONK)

I drew you.

I made you.

Hey. I...

Maybe I can erase you.

(GIGGLING)

You wouldn't erase me, baby.

You're too hungry for what I got.

No. I'm, uh...

I'm trying to quit.

Since it's only a dream...

Indulge your fantasies, Jack.

You're so real, so strong.

You could help comb my hair, tickle my mind.

(SLAPPING)

Yes, I have failed. Thank you.

I'm calm now.

Boo hoo! Boo hoo!

Those big bad guys didn't play fair.

I want you to tear and rip their miserable faces inside-out

till their mother doesn't recognize them!

Pretty please?

COP: Let's go, guys!

COP 2: Wait for me!

Ahhh!

Got a full tank?

I got news for you, baby.

I'm made of ink...

But I'm no dream.

Ahhh!

What did you do that for?

Because I dig you.

This is a long dream, isn't it, Jack?

(POPPING)

The poppers! Let's burn.

What?

Let's go. Come on.

(POPPING)

You like it, Deebs?

Yeah.

Of course you do.

This is your idea of heaven, right?

Yeah. It's, uh...

It's amazing. It's incredible.

(ALL SCREAMING)

But I won!

A little late for a lady to be out on the streets, don't you think?

I got a couple of questions for you, Miss.

Aw, come on, Officer. Let it slide, would you?

I'm tired.

Word is you got a thing for noids.

Yeah. I got a thing for noids.

But what's it to you, tough guy?

Baby, you don't know how tough it is.

You're late.

Ah, you're killing me. Why are you so beautiful?

What's wrong? You don't look right.

Ah, it's Holli. I think she's in heat again.

With that noid from last night?

Oh, don't worry about it.

I know that, but why do you always wanna...

(GIGGLES) Gotcha.

All right. Where do you want to go?

Movies? Uh, dinner?

We have abused the privilege!

Please! My color is fading!

Repent! Repent, all toons!

Listen to me! The end is near!

Hey, boss, we got to go!

A thousand pardons.

An informant told me he's here again.

Holli and the goons got him.

He's not just coming through on a dream.

Perhaps it is time to pursue other avenues.

Right. Let's hit the bricks.

Yeah, yeah. I know.

Be careful, Frank.

Oh. I think she's partial to you.

Oh! Oh! Ha ha!

Yeah, but facts is facts.

She's a doodle, and I'm not.

Ha ha ha ha!

Eh, I guess, but did I ever tell you

about the time I took up with the most delightfully stacked hussy from the projects?

Yeah. Right.

Where to, boss?

The club. Right.

(ENGINE REVVING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

(MOOING)

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, baby, how you doing?

Chico? Chico, is that you?

I ain't no Chico, runt.

And no noids.

He's with me.

Sorry, baby. No noids.

He's with me, too.

(GROWLING)

Can't let the neighbors push us around, can we?

Hey! What? Quit shoving.

Freeze, asshole.

ALL: Uh-oh!

Cool world police.

MAN: Copper!

Up against the wall.

Get your hands off me.

Where are your manners, Harris?

You sh...be quiet.

Hey. Who are you?

Who are you? I didn't create you.

No shit, Sherlock.

What did you do with this, Deebs?

I'm a cartoonist. I drew all this.

I have visions. I...

I have visions. I translate this.

You do nothing, man.

This place exists with or without you.

You believe me, right? I'm not one of your creations.

You're not pretty enough.

Good one.

Have a seat.

Ah!

Ordinary fountain pen, right?

Yeah. Wrong.

Around here...sit down.

Around here, this can be a big nuisance.

You thirsty, Nails?

Whoa!

(BURP)

HARRIS: Get it?

One should be careful how they wave this thing.

No, I don't get it.

Of course you don't get it, 'cause you're a whack-a-do.

But here you are...

Jack,

and around here, everything goes...

Everything except one thing!

Yeah, what?

Yeah, we know, we know!

Save your breath!

What's that?

Noids do not have sex with doodles.

Right? Noids do not have sex with doodles.

It's the oldest law in Cool World.

I've never had to enforce it.

You cross that line,

and I'll slap you around,

make you piss like a puppy.

Jack, you think she's got a thing for you, don't you?

That's sweet.

But don't flatter yourself.

She's a waste of ink.

Oh, yeah?

Truth is she's been after me and every other noid who's come through here.

It's just that no one's been insane enough to get involved with her.

You keep your pencil in your pocket.

You know what I mean?

Yeah. I'll remember that, Officer.

You can go now.

Where did you get your hair done, by the way?

Get out of here.

All right. The show's over.

KID: So, Harris, you could have beat him.

You could have beat him.

You could have been somebody.

Oh, you're not yellow, are you, Harris?

You did well, Jack.

Hey, sexy.

Mmm. It's the man with the badge.

In the flesh.

Don't remind me.

Oh. How can I help it?

Ah.

What are you doing to me?

You're messing me up.

Oh, honey, you're tense.

It's Holli again, isn't it?

Yeah, Ms. Holli would if she could.

That dame.

You heard anything?

Now you know

I don't listen to that sleazy cow.

Mmm.

Don't.

Just don't.

Well, why?

Because we can never finish it, Lonette.

You know? It...it... It's frustrating.

I'm, uh...

I'm like a...

I'm like a plug without a socket, you know?

Hey, Frank.

Hey what?

Did you ever do it in the real world?

You ever think about going back there so you can?

No. No way.

Baby, you and me?

I can't have that in the real world.

Mmm-mmm. I can't live without you.

(LAUGHS) But I can't be with you, you know?

It's...uh...

What do you do, huh?

What do you do?

Well, then...

We're just going to have to pretend, then, aren't we?

NAILS: Hey, boss.

Ooh!

Boss!

I heard you, Nails.

Oh my God, boss! I wouldn't do it!

NAILS: Oh. Phew.

Hey, boss, did I ever tell you about...

Shut up, Nails.

HOLLI: Jack.

Jack...

Come home, baby.

(SIGHS)

No.

No, no, no.

No!

No! No!

(HOLLERING)

(APPLAUSE AND WHISTLING)

(GUFFAWING)

(CHEERING)

(YELLING)

(YELLING)

(APPLAUDING)

Glad you dropped in.

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

NAILS: Well, here we are. Holli's humble abode.

Do you think she'll let us in?

DOOR: Forget it!

This party is by invitation only.

This door's got an attitude.

(STRAINING)

How much further?

Oh, I'd say we're halfway up.

Or halfway down.

Right.

God, I hate heights.

Ah...ah...

Nails!

This is no time to catch a cold!

It's not a cold, boss.

I'm allergic to clouds.

What?

Ah...ah...

Ah...

Oh...

Oh...

Choo!

No!

(SCREAMING)

Boss?

Ah...

Ah...

Don't even think about it.

Ah...

Choo!

That felt smashingly good. Smashingly.

Yeah.

(KNOCKING)

Make sure no one gets out this door.

Oh. Oh. Absolutement, boss.

Ahhh!

(PLAYING SPANISH MUSIC)

Well, hello, Harris. Welcome to the party.

And what a swell party it is.

Thanks for having me.

I should have known riffraff like yourself

would be involved in this equation, Sparks.

What equation is that, Harris?

I've discovered

that if you look for trouble, you find it.

What's your problem?

Bad childhood. Where's the noid?

You're the only noid here, Harris.

(CRASHING)

Last warning...

You stay away from the noid,

or you're closed for business permanently.

Have a splendid evening.

You want to know what it is about you

that really kicks my ass, Harris?

How about my foot?

Well, you prance around here waving that gun around

like you're some big deal

and all this time you could cross over to the real world,

but you haven't got the guts. You don't have what it takes to be real.

That makes you a wimp in my book.

You may be right, slick.

Be content with the cards you've been dealt.

Ahhh!

What's the deal?

It's getting serious, Nails.

Holli...

We got to find Jack Deebs.

Right.

BOB: Should I get the door for you, Jack?

Ha ha ha!

MALE VOICE: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Ha ha ha ha!

BOB: Go for it, Jack. Ha ha ha!

You better have an appointment!

Go on, Jack. Go on, Jack.

He does, but you don't!

But Holli said we could watch.

Watch what?

Go on up. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Go on up. Go on.

Bring me a souvenir, Jack.

HOLLI: Hey, Jack.

I've been waiting for you.

You like looking at me, Jack.

Don't you?

(HONKING) Yeow!

Huh?

Man is in the bedroom.

(GIGGLING) BOTH: Awww.

Run, girls, run! Oh! Oh!

JACK: Okay.

HOLLI: What?

Listen to me, uh, Holli.

That cop... Harris...

He said we...we...

Can't go any further than this, Holli.

I'm so hot for you, Jack. Yeah.

Are you going to follow the rules?

No.

HOLLI: Or are you going to follow your instincts?

JACK: Yeah.

Oh. But Holli said we could watch.

I'll be right back.

Yeah!

Oh yeah! Oh!

Ooh... Ah...

Oh... Ooh... Oh...

JACK: Ohhh.

(CLAMORING)

(CRASHING)

(MOANING)

Whoa, whoa!

Holli!

(STRUGGLING)

(MOANING CONTINUES)

(SCREAMING)

(CRASHING)

(SIGHING)

Was it good for you?

It wasn't what I expected.

(STAMMERING) You're gonna go in there

and make it up to Lonette, boss?

Yeah. Why not?

Fact is, she's the best thing

that ever happened to me.

Oh. I could put overtime in on Deebs, boss.

I'm tireless!

Forget it.

The goons can't touch him in Sweet Place,

and we'd just run ourselves ragged givin' him the shadow.

Well, what should I do?

Man the phones. Keep pumping our informants.

Somebody might ID him. If that happens, you call me. You call me here or Lonette's.

Or my place, I don't know.

Just don't make a move without me, you got it?

I got it, boss.

(TOONS GOOFING AROUND )

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, Lonette... Where's my drink, babe?

You know, I live to serve you.

I heard you the first 10 times.

Hey, come on, I'm sorry.

Get a little closer here, babe.

Give us a kiss.

Ho ho ho!

Say it, don't spray it.

Go away.

I'm outta here.

Tough night?

The usual.

Yeah.

Why do you want to hang around here, huh?

This place should be erased.

(LAUGHING) Hey, it's a living.

Even a doodle's gotta eat.

(LAUGHING)

Why don't you put that arm around me?

It's been kind of a tough day.

Oh.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Ah!

(RINGING)

Yeah?

Listen, you sludgehog excuse for a cop...

Deebs and Holli just made it.

(GASPING) They're about to make an unscheduled trip

to the other side.

Holli? Jeez!

No end to trouble that a little minx like her can make.

She might damage the entire interworld matrix, or somethin'.

I don't give a doodle!

Just bust her ass.

Ooh, better call Frank. Better call Frank!

Oh, I just can't take it anymore.

(RINGING) (YELLING)

Where's Frank?

Frank! Frank Harris! Looking for Frank...

Frank! Frank!

(RINGING)

Where is he? Oh, no.

(PHONE CALLING TONE)

Frank!

Frank Harris!

Grr! Hey! Ahhh!

(PHONE CALLING TONE)

Frank! Ooh, Frank!

Frank! Frank!

(RINGING)

Thank God!

Okay.

Yeah, Nails, what is it?

You having a good time, boss?

Yeah, I guess I'm having a good time.

Aren't we havin' a good time? Yeah.

Nails, leave us alone!

(LAUGHING)

LONETTE: Oh, I just love your ears.

(GIGGLING)

Okay, Nails, what's the problem?

Oh, no trouble!

Nothin' I can't handle myself.

I was just checkin' in with ya's, you know?

Yeah? Are you sure?

All right.

Okay, Nails.

It's...incredible.

Yeah.

Oh. Ooh.

Uh...

(WORRIED GROAN)

Wait a minute here!

What am I nervous for?

I could do this job myself!

(GRUNTING CONFIDENTLY)

Ahhh!

(STRUGGLING)

Holli, why do we have to go back?

It's... It's so great here.

Oh, Jack...

We're noids, and noids just...

Just can't do doodle here,

and I want to do it all, Jack,

and together... Together we're going to be unstoppable!

Ohhh...

But you know somethin' I gotta do?

What? I gotta go tell the boys goodbye.

They're gonna to be so lost without me.

I understand. I know you do. Oh, Jack.

I Miss you already. Oh, I know.

I'll be back. Be back soon, okay?

Okay. Bye.

(SIGHING)

Jesus, why the hell did you do it?

What are those, curtains you're wearing?

Oh, you look horrendous.

You look horrible!

You look like a high school hippie.

Peace, man.

That's right, boys...

I made it.

Uh, halt!

Yeah, halt! Halt!

In the name of the law!

Eh, halt, I say!

Well, howdy, Nails.

As you see, there have been some...

Changes around here.

(GIGGLING)

You are a biomorphic menace!

I forbid you to take one step

out of the Cool World!

You eight-armed ink spot!

Who do you think you're dealing with?

I'm real.

You made it with a noid!

You don't know what you are!

Mark my words, girlie-pie,

you leave here

and it is trouble for you two!

I'm leavin', pencil-dick.

You just try and stop me!

Don't do it! Don't do it, girl!

Ahhh!

(YELLING)

Hmm!

Oh, that's so beautiful!

Oh, so bad! Oh, man!

That's got to hurt! Oh, a pen job!

Oh, yeah, yeah! Pen me, too!

Pen me! Pen me! Pen me!

Oh. (GROANS)

Oh, hit me! Yeah, hit me!

Oh, hit me again! Hit me! Hit me!

Lover, Jack, it's time to go.

Bounce out of here!

We gotta go. Holli...Holli...

Jack, we got to get out of here.

Hold on tight.

(ENERGY CRACKLING)

(HOLLI SCREAMING)

Jack?

(WHOOSHING)

(GONG)

(GIGGLING)

Ohhh... Oh, Jack.

(GIGGLING)

I really like it here.

Mmm...

I think I'll go change.

(JACK GROANING)

JENNIFER: Mom, he may be in trouble.

We gotta help him.

Come on, let's go. It's none of our business.

It is our business. He's our neighbor.

Come on.

Mmm, I love her.

(GIGGLES)

HOLLI: (WHISPERING) I love her. (KNOCKING)

Hello...

Hey. JENNIFER: Hi.

Hey.

This is me. (LAUGHING)

Holli... That's me.

(CLEARING THROAT) Um... Uh...

Isabelle and Jennifer Malley, this is, um...

This is Holli. Holli my friend.

ISABELLE: Hello. JENNIFER: Hi.

This is Jack.

Holli is, uh...

She's from out of town.

(GIGGLING)

Well, we didn't mean to bother you.

It's just...

We were scared you might be hurt.

Oh, no, no. Uh, thanks for asking.

Well...

Thanks.

It's, it's, uh, it's good to have nice neighbors.

(GIGGLING) Nice neighbors.

I'm real.

Yeah, you sure are, honey.

I'm real.

Bye!

ISABELLE: She was really a cheap piece of work.

JENNIFER: I don't know, I thought she was kind of pretty.

I've got this crazy feeling I know that woman from somewhere.

(GOOFY SINGING)

SQUEAKY VOICE: He looks full of life to me, for goodness sakes.

Hey!

(BURPING)

Heh heh heh heh.

What happened, you ink stain?

He had a run-in with a noid,

and then he got inked.

That damn Deebs.

It was Holli Would.

Holli's a doodle.

Not anymore.

She's made it with that Deebs asshole.

She's changed.

Now you can buy me more fries, dickhead.

(CHOKING)

This is gonna be the biggest shit storm

the Cool World has ever seen.

(UPBEAT JAZZ BAND PLAYING)

HOLLI: Ohhh! Oh...

So many men...

And they're real!

Smell...

Them!

Holli, you're with me, remember?

You can't go around smelling people.

Yeah, Jack.

Hey.

So, uh, what do you wanna drink?

Oh, anything they have.

They've got 95 different things, Holli.

Mmm! Oh...95?

Uh-huh.

I'll have one of each!

Holli, I'm into having fun and everything,

but you gotta slow down, okay?

What do I want to slow down for?

I'm gonna get everything I ever wanted!

You think any of these men are going to say no to Holli?

Not on your life, pal.

Gentlemen prefer blondes.

(CLAPPING)

Thank you very much, everybody.

Glad you enjoyed that.

Wonderful old standard.

Let's make love.

Hey, she's with me!

Nah, she's with us.

Hey! Oh!

Stay out!

(ENERGY FLOWING)

Hit it.

Uh, Brian, please...

(BAND PLAYING JAZZ)

* Here we sit and we chatter

* What are we

* Thinking of

* Let's not make with the patter

* Baby

* Let's make love

* Oh, my, but it's stifling

* If you roar like a lion

* I could coo like a dove

* If you're so big and bad

* Baby

* Let's make love * Gosh, it's hot

* No, don't turn TV on

* Instead just turn

* Me on

* I light up like neon *

When your partner gets inked, you do something about it.

He was your partner, so you do something.

Well, I'm not buying it!

Well, how about a man's gotta do

what a man's gotta do?

Can't you just think about me for a minute, Frank?

Where does this leave me?

What are you mad about?

I'm mad because you talk about crossing

and you don't even care how it makes me feel.

I don't care? Whoa. Whoa. How do you feel, Lon?

Left out!

You think I wanna go back there? You think I wanna go back?

Well, why wouldn't you want to go back?

(YELLING) That's real to you, isn't it?

Let me tell you something about over there.

It hurts over there. It's lonely over there.

It's a war over there.

They got eight million ways for you to die, hon, and all a them are permanent.

This is real for me. This. With you.

And if I wanna stay with you, I gotta go back.

Because if Jack Deebs and Holli Would are after what I think they are,

there won't be any here or there.

Understand, Lonnie? No more here.

Just go ahead!

Hey, hey. (SOBBING)

I'm coming back.

(BAND PLAYING JAZZ)

(CLAPPING)

Jack?

Jack...

What's goin' on?

Somethin's wrong.

Something's very, very wrong.

No shit, pal.

So what is it?

I mean, I'm up there,

and I was just movin' and shakin' with the best of 'em,

and all of a sudden I went doodle again.

I mean...

(MELLOW JAZZ PLAYING)

(DISTANT VOICES MURMURING) FRANK: Look at this, Ma, no hands!

(LAUGHING) AGATHA: No! No, Frank, don't do that.

FRANK: I wouldn't do that. Come on.

(LAUGHING)

FRANK: No!

No!

Good luck, Frank.

Please just let me think.

Let me think.

Ahhh! Ahhh!

(BOTH YELLING) (HORNS HONKING)

Cool, Jack.

Really cool.

I guess you have a tough time

drivin' and thinkin' at the same time, huh?

Oh!

The spike of power! The what?

The spike could heal me.

Ooh!

Vegas Vinnie put the spike at the top of the casino.

FRANK: You're nuts.

You are nuts!

HOLLI: Don't say I'm nuts.

I've had enough ego out of you, pal.

And you used to think you made me up.

You're thinking like a doodle, Holli.

There is no spike of power.

There's gotta be a spike of power,

and I'm going to find it right now.

No, you're not.

Okay? Yeah.

We're goin' there, Jack.

No, we're not!

You're a nice fellow, Jack.

Don't piss me off.

Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do about it, Holli?

Huh?

Ahhh! Ooh!

Goddamn it! (TIRES SCREECHING)

Ahhh! (HORN BLARING)

(RUMBLING)

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

Thank you.

(COUGHING)

What are you doin' here, Harris?

I'm taking you and the bimbo back.

What are you gonna do, shoot me?

Why don't you shoot me, goddamnit?

Shoot me, Harris!

Don't push me!

Don't push me!

You just couldn't take a piece of good advice, could ya?

No, Jack, you had to listen to your Johnson.

I've had it with you, Harris. I've had it with you, goddamnit!

You've had it with me?

You've had it with me, you piece of shit?

You screwed us all for a piece of ass!

And you've had it with me? Where is she?

It's happening, Jack.

I've got news for you, Harris.

It's happening to her, too.

JENNIFER: Jack!

Jack, I saw it this time!

Jack, I saw it! I swear!

I saw this thing, it hit your house, again!

Remember when we came over earlier? I wasn't imagining things.

All right, Jack.

What is this, another friend from out of town? Uh-huh. Yeah.

What happened to your suit?

What's going on between this guy and me, it's kind of, uh... Complex.

I can... I can explain it some other time.

JENNIFER: I'll bet. Look, we got no more time for goldilocks here.

Where do we find Holli?

Okay, she went to the Union Plaza.

The spike.

She went to meet this guy Vegas Vinnie, the only problem is, she took my car, so...

I got my mom's car.

Let's go, Miss.

We're trying to protect the balance of the entire known universe, here.

Oh, gee, I guess my mom won't chuck a fit then if we took it, huh?

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(HORNS HONKING)

Miss?

Miss...

Can I help you, Miss?

I'm lookin' for Vegas Vinnie.

There's no... There's no Vegas Vinnie here. I'm sorry.

He owns the place.

I don't... I... There's no Vegas Vinnie here, I'm sorry.

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Do you know Vegas Vinnie? Nope. Sorry.

Do you know Vegas Vinnie?

Do you know Vegas Vinnie?

Vegas Vinnie is a story based on a real guy.

This doc I met.

When I first went across, uh, 50 years ago.

Cool World's real?

Neat!

He and I, we mapped out the tunnel.

The passageway between both worlds.

We saw how easily one could disrupt that balance

and destroy both universes.

Destroy the universe?

When you have some money to spend,

we'd love to see you, honey.

Until then, you have to keep out.

Uh, pretty-lookin' sign we got up there, huh Miss? Yeah.

That spike in the center...

It's real bright.

You sound kinda down, Miss.

Uh, have bad luck at the tables?

Let's just say...

It ain't been my day.

Oh, well, don't worry, uh...

Good Lord! I never thought I'd see it happen.

Miss, what you're lookin' for you can't find around here.

You better go.

How do you know what I'm lookin' for?

You do know what I am, don't you?

You know where I'm from. (YELPING)

Oh, my goodness!

Old man...

I'm not leaving till I find out how you know so much.

Talk. Talk! (YELPING)

You're not tellin' me everything you know!

(STUTTERING)

(STAMMERING) You're a doodle.

Ho ho ho! In Cool World they knew me as Whiskers.

Dr. Vincent Whiskers.

Didn't you touch the spike?

Sure, I touched it, but I couldn't hold it.

No one can!

So it is up there,

and it is real,

and it's gonna make me real!

Sure, it's up there,

but it's not gonna do ya any good.

Just because you weren't man enough to hold onto it.

I need the force in that spike.

And I'm goin' up there!

That power doesn't belong to you!

I don't care. I want it.

(GASPING)

I don't care.

Stop! Cease! Desist!

I mean it. Make this easy on yourself!

JACK: There she is. JENNIFER: She looks pretty.

Come on, you little troublemaker.

Nobody's gonna stop me now.

Ah!

Harris, help me. You've gotta stop that girl.

If she moves it, it could be the end of everything.

Doc? Oh, my God.

I gotta... Jack, wait!

I need you here to take care of my friend. Please.

This is my department. I gotta stop her.

Wait, Jack. Let me go, Harris.

I'm not gonna hurt her.

Help me, man.

(STRUGGLING)

No!

Oh!

(INDISTINCT MURMURING)

(GROANING)

Crazy doodle bitch.

Hello, Holli.

Guess what? You're through.

You know, sweetheart, you look good in the flesh.

It's almost a shame I gotta take you back.

You are goin' back, you know.

Would!

Um...

(SQUEAKING)

You're squeezing my head.

There. As good as new.

Where do you think you're goin'?

It's over.

What are you going to do, jump? Just get down.

Oh, for Christ's sake.

What, you got ink for brains? Get down!

Don't piss me off, Would.

You go on that roof, you screw us all.

I'm not messin' around here.

Oh, Christ. There's nothin' up there. Let's just go home and fix this mess.

Get down!

Would!

Don't.

Harris. What?

Harris, help me.

Aw...

Help me.

Oh, Harris, help me.

Hold on.

I should do the world a favor and let you fall.

Easy.

Easy does it.

Good.

Now hold on.

Here we go.

Here we go.

We're goin' home.

All right. Careful.

Come on.

(SCREAMING)

Oh, my God.

(GASPING)

Jack, this is your chance to make it right.

It's up to you now.

Okay. Okay.

This time I'm gonna do somethin' right.

He's gonna kill himself.

He's fulfilling his destiny.

He's becoming a hero.

(EXPLODING) (CIRCUITS FRYING)

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

(JACK GASPING)

(STRUGGLING)

(ALL QUIETING)

(HUMMING)

(INHUMAN VOICES CHATTERING)

(WHOOSHING)

(TOONS CHATTERING)

(HOLLI GASPING)

(CONFIDENT LAUGHING)

Oh! Ha ha ha! A hero.

Oh, please.

Oh!

We're free!

(WITH SUPERHERO VOICE) The spike! It's up to me to return the spike!

Got it!

The pain is unbearable.

Hit me. Oof.

(ALL GASPING)

(ALL HOWLING)

(SHRIEKING)

(YELLING)

(HEAVY BREATHING)

The world has only one chance left.

It's up to me to return the spike

and plug the hole.

Oh! You fiends...

Trying to stop me!

(EXPLODING)

(SQUAWKING)

(CLAMORING)

(SINGING BLUES)

Oh, I hate being bottled up like that.

Oh, man, boss. Hold on!

(SOBBING) Hold on!

(WEEPING)

(GRUNTING)

(CHUCKLING)

(LAUGHING)

Feel the air, Jack.

We're staying.

I like it here, Jack.

Come here.

Give me the spike, Jack.

You love me, don't you, Jack?

Yes, I do.

(GIGGLING) Well, then help me.

Give it to me, Jack.

Okay, honey-poo.

Hey, goody, goody, goody.

Pencil dicks.

A-ha! A trick!

On second thought, I must do what is right and return the spike.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

(YELLING)

(SCREAMING)

Woah, golly!

(SCREAMS)

Ahhh!

Jack?

He's...he's gone.

He's...

(DOCTOR CLEARING THROAT)

WHISKERS: Dead?

I don't know for sure, but I don't think so.

You know, maybe the spike protected them.

Its power is beyond our understanding.

(SOBBING)

I'm sorry he didn't make it.

(SOBBING) I gotta take him back with me.

There's a nice gal back there.

She deserves to see him...

Dead or alive.

Okay, Doc, let her rip.

Wow.

(ALL CELEBRATING)

(GASPING)

Oh, Nails!

(WEEPING)

NAILS: He didn't make it.

I'm sorry.

Oh, Frank, honey, no, please.

Oh, no. Please.

You can't leave me.

Oh, no.

Who killed him, Nails?

He was pushed off a building.

Who pushed him?

Holli Would. Holli Would?

That bitch!

(SOBBING)

Nails, was she a doodle when she aced him?

Yeah. So what?

So what?

Oh, so what?

Well, what happens to noids who traffic in the Cool World,

Nails, when they get killed by a doodle?

They become a doodle themselves.

Hot dog! Dig it! Dig me!

(SINGING) Ta-da!

Oh, my God!

Oh, Nails, he's alive.

Ooh! And he's gorgeous, too.

Hubba bubba, baby. What do ya think?

Ooh, you're a hero, Harris.

You saved the world.

So, what are ya waitin' for? Come and get it.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Oh, Frankie.

So, did you do it while you were back there in the real world?

(GIGGLING)

Did you do it while you were real?

Do you ever think about going back there so you can?

There's no reason now.

Ooh. Hey, boss, we gotta go.

Hmm!

(GULPING)

Get outta here! (BOTTLES WHIZZING)

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I can't stand myself.

Oh! l should have all eight legs. (LAUGHS)

LONNIE: Well, then...

We're just gonna have to stop pretending now,

aren't we?

Bum, bum, ba.

(SMOOCHING)

Bye-bye, folks. Have a nice life.

What a beautiful landscape.

Let's see...

We could put the house over here. The studio over here...

I'll still draw, of course. We'll raise children over here.

I'll fight crime over there.

Oh, we're going to be deliriously happy, honey-poo.

(CHUCKLING)

HOLLI: Pencil dick.