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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,899 --> 00:00:08,749 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:08,901 --> 00:00:10,592 [bell rings] 3 00:00:12,921 --> 00:00:14,138 [burps] 4 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:17,057 [horn whistles] 5 00:00:19,745 --> 00:00:21,478 [tires screech] 6 00:00:22,839 --> 00:00:24,398 D'oh! 7 00:00:25,267 --> 00:00:26,984 [grunts] 8 00:00:32,441 --> 00:00:34,700 Huh? [grunting] 9 00:00:34,851 --> 00:00:35,850 Whoo-hoo! 10 00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:38,078 ♪ ♪ 11 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,436 -Shotgun! -Shotgun! 12 00:00:46,455 --> 00:00:48,272 -I said it first. -I said it first. 13 00:00:48,290 --> 00:00:49,697 What are you, coping me now? 14 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,458 [nasal voice] What are you, coping me now? Nyah. 15 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,628 I can't listen to this stupid fight anymore. 16 00:00:54,780 --> 00:00:56,797 Lisa, you sit in the front. 17 00:00:56,965 --> 00:00:59,040 [chortles] 18 00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,801 [growls] 19 00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,969 Happy start of the school week, everyone. 20 00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:05,380 Happy start of the school week, everyone. 21 00:01:05,474 --> 00:01:06,881 You're still mad 22 00:01:06,975 --> 00:01:08,067 -about yesterday? -You're still mad about yesterday? 23 00:01:08,218 --> 00:01:09,793 -Seriously. -Seriously. 24 00:01:09,812 --> 00:01:11,645 -How long is this gonna go on? -How long is this gonna go on? 25 00:01:11,797 --> 00:01:12,979 Don't you think this is a little 26 00:01:13,132 --> 00:01:14,556 -beneath the "Prank King"? -Don't you think this is 27 00:01:14,650 --> 00:01:15,890 a little beneath the "Prank King"? 28 00:01:15,968 --> 00:01:18,635 He's not doing this to everyone, is he? 29 00:01:18,654 --> 00:01:20,079 Oh, thank God. 30 00:01:20,306 --> 00:01:21,580 -I know how to deal with this. -I know how to deal with this. 31 00:01:21,731 --> 00:01:24,991 -I love Lisa so much. -I love Lisa so much. 32 00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:27,811 -I wish I was Lisa. -I wish I was Lisa. 33 00:01:27,904 --> 00:01:30,981 -Hmm, I thought that would work. -Hmm, I thought that would work. 34 00:01:31,074 --> 00:01:34,167 Bart commits to the bit. Always has. 35 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,652 The novel has two equally 36 00:01:35,821 --> 00:01:37,245 -important protagonists... -The novel has two equally 37 00:01:37,323 --> 00:01:38,505 important protagonists. 38 00:01:38,657 --> 00:01:41,141 -...Mouse and Motorcycle. -Mouse and Motorcycle. 39 00:01:41,994 --> 00:01:43,102 Grilled vegetables, 40 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:46,087 and you ordered the same thing just after she did. 41 00:01:46,165 --> 00:01:47,347 [forlorn groan] 42 00:01:47,499 --> 00:01:49,591 -E-B-Z. -E-B-Z. 43 00:01:49,685 --> 00:01:53,737 -T-O-O-V. -T-O-O-V. 44 00:01:56,266 --> 00:01:57,432 ♪ ♪ 45 00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:00,177 What's up, food fighters? I'm Thad Parkour. 46 00:02:00,270 --> 00:02:01,845 Today on Dude vs. Food, 47 00:02:01,864 --> 00:02:05,198 I'm going to war with ten buckets of fried chicken skin 48 00:02:05,351 --> 00:02:07,684 served on top of a smash burger 49 00:02:07,777 --> 00:02:09,686 the size of a laser disk. 50 00:02:09,779 --> 00:02:11,521 Give them hell, Thad. 51 00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:13,781 -Dad! -Yes...? 52 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:16,042 Bart's using the bathroom and he doesn't wash his hands, 53 00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:17,952 so I've got 20 seconds tops. 54 00:02:18,046 --> 00:02:19,245 Make him stop copying me. 55 00:02:19,398 --> 00:02:20,530 Please, it's been a month! 56 00:02:20,699 --> 00:02:23,425 That is a huge percentage of my short life. 57 00:02:23,535 --> 00:02:24,810 Not now, honey. 58 00:02:24,961 --> 00:02:27,204 Daddy's watching his latest favorite show of all time. 59 00:02:27,222 --> 00:02:29,556 We can talk about jazz later. 60 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,600 Dad, please, he won't stop! 61 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,560 Dad, please, he won't stop! 62 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,988 -Ah! -Ah! 63 00:02:40,143 --> 00:02:42,068 [Lisa] Okay, I just have to accept 64 00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:43,904 that this is my new reality. 65 00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:46,223 [Bart] That this is my new reality. 66 00:02:46,241 --> 00:02:47,724 [Lisa] And if that's the case, 67 00:02:47,743 --> 00:02:51,253 then I'm gonna make something good come out of it. 68 00:02:53,732 --> 00:02:55,966 [speaks Mandarin, Bart repeats] 69 00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:09,855 What do we want? 70 00:03:10,173 --> 00:03:11,081 -What do we want? -[crowd] Ban touch tanks! 71 00:03:11,099 --> 00:03:12,191 When do we want it? 72 00:03:12,342 --> 00:03:13,433 -[crowd] Now! -When do we want it? 73 00:03:13,585 --> 00:03:15,652 [playing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"] 74 00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:21,107 That is terrific progress. 75 00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:23,443 That is terrific progress! 76 00:03:23,595 --> 00:03:26,538 "I'm Bart Simpson, and this is how I feel." 77 00:03:26,765 --> 00:03:29,357 I'm Bart Simpson, and this is how I feel. 78 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:30,934 "I have spent 79 00:03:31,027 --> 00:03:32,769 -"the last six months... -I have spent the last six months 80 00:03:32,862 --> 00:03:34,604 -"repeating every word said -repeating every word said 81 00:03:34,773 --> 00:03:36,531 -"by my sister, Lisa Simpson. -by my sister, Lisa Simpson. 82 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,942 -"We entered as adversaries... -We entered as adversaries... 83 00:03:38,961 --> 00:03:40,201 "and through some strange magic... 84 00:03:40,295 --> 00:03:41,945 ...and through some strange magic... 85 00:03:42,038 --> 00:03:44,448 -"we have emerged as friends. -we have emerged as friends. 86 00:03:44,466 --> 00:03:46,132 "I set out to break 87 00:03:46,285 --> 00:03:47,284 -"my sister's spirit... -I set out to break my sister's spirit... 88 00:03:47,302 --> 00:03:48,710 "but wound up giving her 89 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:49,953 -"a priceless gift. -...but wound up giving her 90 00:03:49,972 --> 00:03:51,379 a priceless gift. 91 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,139 -"The knowledge that her brother -The knowledge that her brother 92 00:03:53,292 --> 00:03:54,958 -"will always be by her side. -will always be by her side. 93 00:03:54,977 --> 00:03:57,461 -"And so she will always feel -And so she will always feel 94 00:03:57,479 --> 00:03:59,721 -"loved and protected. -loved and protected. 95 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,222 "I am the best big brother 96 00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:03,483 a girl could ever ask for." 97 00:04:04,486 --> 00:04:06,653 Aren't you gonna repeat that last part? 98 00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:09,230 I don't think I can. 99 00:04:09,324 --> 00:04:10,657 Does that mean it's over? 100 00:04:10,809 --> 00:04:14,569 Because I'm, I'm-I'm not sure I want it to be. 101 00:04:14,663 --> 00:04:17,664 -[speaks Mandarin] Bart. -I love you, too. 102 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:18,982 Hugging? 103 00:04:19,001 --> 00:04:20,575 Did you teach them that? 104 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,652 I guess I must have. 105 00:04:22,671 --> 00:04:24,170 That was so beautiful. 106 00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:25,505 I'm gonna go call my sisters 107 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,674 and tell them how much they mean to me. 108 00:04:27,826 --> 00:04:31,011 And there's a very special man I need to say some things, too, 109 00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:32,996 while I still can. 110 00:04:33,089 --> 00:04:34,623 I love you, Thad! 111 00:04:34,625 --> 00:04:37,943 [Thad] Today it's me versus the spiciest ramen 112 00:04:38,094 --> 00:04:41,671 in a city known for its fiery Asian flavors, 113 00:04:41,690 --> 00:04:43,765 Des Moines, Iowa. 114 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,575 [cheering] 115 00:04:48,363 --> 00:04:51,181 I find this performative gluttony offensive. 116 00:04:51,274 --> 00:04:53,775 Yeah, there are hungry supermodels in this world 117 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:57,521 who would kill for a bowl of painfully spicy ramen. 118 00:04:57,539 --> 00:04:59,706 [slurping] 119 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,300 [groaning] 120 00:05:01,527 --> 00:05:03,468 [screams] 121 00:05:03,620 --> 00:05:04,544 That's what I want 122 00:05:04,713 --> 00:05:07,789 my relationship with soup to be like. 123 00:05:07,883 --> 00:05:09,290 What up, Food Duders? 124 00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:12,385 That's his name for me and people like me! 125 00:05:12,538 --> 00:05:16,315 The Dude vs. Food pig-rig is coming to Springfield! 126 00:05:16,466 --> 00:05:18,041 Oink-oink! 127 00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:20,560 Coming here? [screams] 128 00:05:20,712 --> 00:05:23,679 I'll be unhinging my jaw donkey-style 129 00:05:23,681 --> 00:05:25,715 at Luigi's Italian restaurant. 130 00:05:25,809 --> 00:05:27,159 I've been there once. 131 00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:30,887 Where I'm going up against a 17-pound meatball. 132 00:05:30,906 --> 00:05:32,405 Mano a ball. 133 00:05:32,482 --> 00:05:34,908 I'll see you there October 10! 134 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:39,421 I finally have a reason to live till October 10. 135 00:05:40,415 --> 00:05:42,415 We asked: "Could-a we make it?" 136 00:05:42,568 --> 00:05:45,585 We never asked "Should-a we make it?" 137 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,161 -Yeah. -[Homer chuckling] 138 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,680 [producer] Are you Thad bods 139 00:05:48,832 --> 00:05:52,017 ready to meet the man who eats food for breakfast? 140 00:05:52,244 --> 00:05:53,835 [lusty cheering] 141 00:05:53,929 --> 00:05:56,355 Put your greasy hands together for... 142 00:05:56,464 --> 00:05:58,339 Thad Parkour! 143 00:05:58,359 --> 00:06:00,734 [upbeat techno music playing] 144 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,363 [screaming] 145 00:06:04,514 --> 00:06:06,615 [groaning] 146 00:06:09,428 --> 00:06:12,996 He looks like Luann's uncle when the neighbors found him. 147 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:17,209 Let's chew this thing. 148 00:06:17,436 --> 00:06:19,711 Oink-oink. 149 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,589 [thuds] 150 00:06:25,794 --> 00:06:27,277 Yeah, that's a wrap on Thad. 151 00:06:27,295 --> 00:06:30,113 After 400 episodes, shot over the course of two months, 152 00:06:30,206 --> 00:06:31,223 he's finally full. 153 00:06:31,450 --> 00:06:32,891 Series over. Strike the meatball. 154 00:06:32,968 --> 00:06:34,709 Come on, Thad, eat too much of something 155 00:06:34,803 --> 00:06:36,043 so we know you're okay. 156 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:39,731 Sorry, man. Looks like this time, food... 157 00:06:39,808 --> 00:06:41,291 beat dude. 158 00:06:41,460 --> 00:06:42,792 [groans] 159 00:06:42,811 --> 00:06:44,903 No...! 160 00:06:45,130 --> 00:06:46,796 If no one's eating that, I'll take it. 161 00:06:46,815 --> 00:06:48,465 ...o! 162 00:06:48,483 --> 00:06:49,408 My car's out front. 163 00:06:49,635 --> 00:06:51,484 Just squish it into the trunk. Awesome. 164 00:06:51,561 --> 00:06:53,703 [wailing] 165 00:07:00,662 --> 00:07:01,903 I don't get it, Thad. 166 00:07:01,997 --> 00:07:03,571 Just last episode, you were a healthy young man 167 00:07:03,665 --> 00:07:07,667 drinking 20 gallons of ranch dressing to win a T-shirt. 168 00:07:07,819 --> 00:07:08,835 I'm sorry, brother. 169 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,411 I really hate letting my fans down, 170 00:07:10,505 --> 00:07:13,414 but I died three times in the ambulance. 171 00:07:13,508 --> 00:07:15,175 I don't think that's good for you. 172 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:17,160 Doc, you got to fix him. 173 00:07:17,253 --> 00:07:18,828 Where's he's indomitable spirit? 174 00:07:18,847 --> 00:07:20,346 His can-chew attitude? 175 00:07:20,499 --> 00:07:23,333 "Can-chew attitude: critically low." 176 00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:25,944 Damn! He's as good as dead. 177 00:07:26,095 --> 00:07:27,187 [Homer] Wait. 178 00:07:27,339 --> 00:07:30,173 There's one more thing we can try. 179 00:07:30,192 --> 00:07:31,616 Thad, if you've ever put your faith 180 00:07:31,768 --> 00:07:34,344 in a relationship with an obsessive superfan, 181 00:07:34,362 --> 00:07:36,863 let it be in the imaginary friendship 182 00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:38,515 I think I have with you. 183 00:07:38,533 --> 00:07:41,685 You definitely scare me a little, 184 00:07:41,703 --> 00:07:44,296 but... okay. 185 00:07:47,116 --> 00:07:48,800 What is this place? 186 00:07:49,027 --> 00:07:51,619 Just breathe. 187 00:07:51,713 --> 00:07:54,639 [inhales deeply] Incredible. 188 00:07:54,791 --> 00:07:56,049 Wh-what's happening? 189 00:07:56,201 --> 00:07:58,868 This is my secret smelling place. 190 00:07:58,887 --> 00:08:00,127 From here you can smell 191 00:08:00,222 --> 00:08:02,205 every meal being cooked in Springfield, 192 00:08:02,298 --> 00:08:03,965 from windowsill pies 193 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,059 to dishwasher-poached salmon. 194 00:08:06,228 --> 00:08:08,970 But how is this possible? 195 00:08:09,138 --> 00:08:11,323 Who knows? But if I had to guess... 196 00:08:11,550 --> 00:08:13,383 Warm moist air coming off the ocean meets 197 00:08:13,401 --> 00:08:15,142 cold breezes descending from the mountains. 198 00:08:15,237 --> 00:08:16,477 Springfield's unique topography, 199 00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:19,055 a remnant of glaciation during the last ice age, 200 00:08:19,074 --> 00:08:20,332 produces varying degrees of albedo, 201 00:08:20,559 --> 00:08:22,483 a unique system of high- and low-pressure zones, 202 00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:25,078 which shunt odor-rich air from kitchens around the town 203 00:08:25,154 --> 00:08:26,838 into this natural amphitheater. 204 00:08:27,065 --> 00:08:28,732 But again, that's just a guess. 205 00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:30,342 [inhales] 206 00:08:30,569 --> 00:08:31,417 Oh! 207 00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:33,586 Every individual smell is distinct 208 00:08:33,739 --> 00:08:36,681 and takes me back to a specific time and place. 209 00:08:36,908 --> 00:08:37,907 [sniffing] 210 00:08:37,959 --> 00:08:39,743 Oh, pepperoni pizza. 211 00:08:39,761 --> 00:08:40,835 [sniffs] 212 00:08:40,929 --> 00:08:42,912 Braised bok choy. 213 00:08:42,931 --> 00:08:44,005 [sniffs] 214 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,248 Ribeye steak. 215 00:08:45,267 --> 00:08:46,249 [woman exhales sharply] 216 00:08:46,268 --> 00:08:48,768 Oh! This is a miracle. 217 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:52,697 Food is a miracle! 218 00:08:52,924 --> 00:08:54,849 I think I love food again. 219 00:08:55,018 --> 00:08:57,443 I knew this place would fix you. 220 00:08:57,596 --> 00:09:00,187 [sniffing] Wait, I'm getting a scent 221 00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:02,115 I've never encountered. 222 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:03,449 Homer. [sniffing] 223 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:05,935 Oh, man, we got to find the source. 224 00:09:06,029 --> 00:09:07,712 And I'll play phone games. 225 00:09:07,939 --> 00:09:10,173 ♪ ♪ 226 00:09:16,798 --> 00:09:18,348 [sniffing] 227 00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:24,304 [doorbell rings] 228 00:09:24,456 --> 00:09:26,231 I could swear I've seen this house before. 229 00:09:26,382 --> 00:09:29,717 But blindfolded, from the trunk of a car... 230 00:09:29,811 --> 00:09:31,052 Gentlemen. 231 00:09:31,146 --> 00:09:32,219 [shrieks] Hi! 232 00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,314 What a pleasant surprise... 233 00:09:34,466 --> 00:09:38,468 that you made it past my bodyguards! 234 00:09:38,561 --> 00:09:41,154 Sorry, boss. I thought I had a pebble in my shoe. 235 00:09:41,306 --> 00:09:44,398 Turns out there's this embroidery on my sock. 236 00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,810 Let's go, Thad. The man with the goons is busy. 237 00:09:46,828 --> 00:09:49,662 -[high-pitched] Bye! -What are you cooking in there? 238 00:09:49,815 --> 00:09:51,464 I have to know. 239 00:09:53,001 --> 00:09:54,317 [inhaling] 240 00:09:54,486 --> 00:09:57,411 Wow, this stew smells amazing. 241 00:09:57,505 --> 00:10:00,490 This recipe is all I have left of a great man. 242 00:10:00,508 --> 00:10:04,102 Sit and I'll tell you the whole sad story. 243 00:10:04,253 --> 00:10:05,920 Not because it's any of your business, 244 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,164 but because this pot needs to simmer 245 00:10:08,183 --> 00:10:11,693 for the length of one whole sad story. 246 00:10:14,430 --> 00:10:17,949 When I was a child, there existed an uneasy peace 247 00:10:18,101 --> 00:10:20,343 between Springfield's two most powerful families. 248 00:10:20,362 --> 00:10:23,270 The Italian, uh, "Thing of Ours," 249 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,106 and the Prussian mob. 250 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,366 To maintain the peace, 251 00:10:26,534 --> 00:10:28,368 each boss would send his youngest son 252 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:32,130 to live with the other family, as collateral. 253 00:10:32,281 --> 00:10:35,467 It was a ceremony steeped in tradition. 254 00:10:36,378 --> 00:10:38,285 ♪ Flip-flop, clippety-clop ♪ 255 00:10:38,380 --> 00:10:40,546 ♪ I declare a son swap. ♪ 256 00:10:40,699 --> 00:10:42,790 [Fat Tony] My surrogate father's name was 257 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,218 Wilhelm Von Wonthelm. 258 00:10:45,370 --> 00:10:48,872 It was rumored that he had never in his life smiled. 259 00:10:48,965 --> 00:10:51,316 And I believed it. 260 00:10:52,544 --> 00:10:54,227 Wilhelm conducted the mob's business 261 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,571 from the kitchen of his restaurant. 262 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,399 He had a deep love for the grim, 263 00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,642 humorless flavors of German cuisine, 264 00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:04,053 a passion that was not shared 265 00:11:04,147 --> 00:11:05,664 by his eldest son and heir, 266 00:11:05,815 --> 00:11:06,814 Maximillian. 267 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,166 [German accent] Where are you going? 268 00:11:08,317 --> 00:11:10,743 We need that blood sausage for the dessert. 269 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,003 No can do, Pops. 270 00:11:12,155 --> 00:11:13,654 My band has a gig tonight. 271 00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:16,082 [Fat Tony] Max had fallen prey to the scourge 272 00:11:16,234 --> 00:11:18,735 that was destroying America's youth: 273 00:11:18,753 --> 00:11:21,012 the ska revival. 274 00:11:21,164 --> 00:11:23,464 [ska music playing] 275 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,000 You are needed here, my son. 276 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,593 Not out all night tromboning 277 00:11:27,746 --> 00:11:31,481 to a calypso-flavored fusion of jazz and punk rock. 278 00:11:34,936 --> 00:11:36,528 [sighs heavily] 279 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,182 You chop like a Belgian. 280 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:44,777 But with ceaseless repetition and unyielding criticism, 281 00:11:44,930 --> 00:11:46,496 you will learn. 282 00:11:49,692 --> 00:11:52,210 You schnitzel well. You are a sh-natural. 283 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,361 [Fat Tony] And then it happened. 284 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:58,258 The old man smiled at me. 285 00:12:00,962 --> 00:12:02,111 Maximillian, 286 00:12:02,205 --> 00:12:03,463 put down that brassentooter. 287 00:12:03,615 --> 00:12:05,448 Tonight, I need you here with me. 288 00:12:05,467 --> 00:12:07,392 Why don't you ask your new son to help you? 289 00:12:07,469 --> 00:12:09,227 [Fat Tony] This was the night 290 00:12:09,454 --> 00:12:12,213 Wilhelm was to pass his greatest secret on to his son. 291 00:12:12,307 --> 00:12:17,218 The recipe for gewalteintopf: "Stew of Violence." 292 00:12:17,295 --> 00:12:19,738 A centuries-old dish served only 293 00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,740 at the initiation of new members 294 00:12:21,967 --> 00:12:23,575 into the Prussian mob. 295 00:12:23,768 --> 00:12:26,560 For his son to reject this sacred honor 296 00:12:26,729 --> 00:12:29,897 was a stab to Wilhelm's heart. 297 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,416 Ska is no future! 298 00:12:31,567 --> 00:12:33,476 How much was your band paid to perform 299 00:12:33,495 --> 00:12:36,312 at the grand opening of the Continental Tire store? 300 00:12:36,331 --> 00:12:39,315 -$50. -But there are 17 of you. 301 00:12:39,408 --> 00:12:42,243 And several who do nothing but dance around. 302 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:45,746 This recipe is at the center of everything we believe. 303 00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:48,600 Please, let me pass it on to you. 304 00:12:48,751 --> 00:12:50,727 ♪ ♪ 305 00:12:51,997 --> 00:12:53,754 [sobbing] 306 00:12:53,848 --> 00:12:55,589 [Fat Tony] This man had survived car bombings, bullets 307 00:12:55,683 --> 00:12:58,851 and the shame of adult braces. 308 00:12:59,004 --> 00:12:59,944 But not this. 309 00:13:00,096 --> 00:13:00,945 [gasps, groans] 310 00:13:01,172 --> 00:13:02,263 [panting] 311 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,507 This recipe belongs with someone 312 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,100 who respects tradition. 313 00:13:06,194 --> 00:13:08,177 Protect it with your life. 314 00:13:08,196 --> 00:13:11,014 And never share it with my son. 315 00:13:11,032 --> 00:13:14,033 Promise me... 316 00:13:15,203 --> 00:13:17,796 I never realized how gross it is under the oven. 317 00:13:18,023 --> 00:13:20,298 [exhales] 318 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,209 Maximillian took his father's place 319 00:13:23,361 --> 00:13:25,320 as head of the Prussian mob. 320 00:13:25,322 --> 00:13:28,214 He rules with an iron fist while still dropping 321 00:13:28,366 --> 00:13:32,201 poorly-received ska albums on SoundCloud. 322 00:13:32,295 --> 00:13:34,312 But I kept my promise to his father 323 00:13:34,539 --> 00:13:37,373 and never gave Maximillian the recipe. 324 00:13:37,392 --> 00:13:39,651 Now, if you will turn your backs, 325 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,377 I must consult the recipe 326 00:13:41,396 --> 00:13:45,323 for the final secret ingredients. 327 00:13:54,409 --> 00:13:58,002 You may turn back around. 328 00:14:00,899 --> 00:14:03,249 [delighted groans] 329 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,902 [garbled] Oh, it's so good I never want to swallow. 330 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:07,587 [garbled] Oh! Me neither. 331 00:14:07,739 --> 00:14:09,681 Let's stay like this forever. 332 00:14:09,908 --> 00:14:11,240 Okay. 333 00:14:11,334 --> 00:14:14,435 -I love you. -I love you, too. 334 00:14:17,858 --> 00:14:19,357 Everyone, shut up! 335 00:14:19,434 --> 00:14:22,935 Thad has a new show and the trailer's about to drop. 336 00:14:23,088 --> 00:14:25,196 I said, "Shut up!" 337 00:14:25,348 --> 00:14:27,657 Shut up! 338 00:14:28,443 --> 00:14:29,442 Shh. 339 00:14:29,594 --> 00:14:32,612 I'm Thad Parkour, and I'm a thief. 340 00:14:32,764 --> 00:14:36,857 Snitches get dishes on my new Chew Network show 341 00:14:36,951 --> 00:14:38,209 Kitchen Betrayals. 342 00:14:38,436 --> 00:14:41,104 Watch me steal secret recipes 343 00:14:41,122 --> 00:14:42,288 from unsuspecting chumps 344 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,365 and reveal them to the world. 345 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,534 On the series premiere, I'll show you the murder stew 346 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:51,431 that certified killers don't want you to know about. 347 00:14:52,450 --> 00:14:54,708 -[shrieks] Stew! -What's wrong? 348 00:14:54,802 --> 00:14:56,452 Everything's fine. 349 00:14:56,454 --> 00:15:00,456 Take the baby and go to Flander's panic room. 350 00:15:00,475 --> 00:15:01,791 Damn it, Thad! 351 00:15:01,809 --> 00:15:04,235 If Fat Tomy sees this, his gonna come to my house 352 00:15:04,312 --> 00:15:05,386 -and he's gonna-- -[doorbell rings] 353 00:15:05,554 --> 00:15:08,072 -[shrieks] -[Marge] Homie, Homie, open up. 354 00:15:08,224 --> 00:15:10,983 -I've got groceries. -Phew! 355 00:15:11,727 --> 00:15:15,854 Look who dropped by. A very worked-up Fat Tony. 356 00:15:16,007 --> 00:15:17,398 Hello, Homer. 357 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:21,144 I was just meeting your charming widow. 358 00:15:21,162 --> 00:15:23,646 [chuckles] I'm not that charming. 359 00:15:23,665 --> 00:15:26,499 Thanks to that idiot putting the recipe on TV, 360 00:15:26,651 --> 00:15:29,093 the Prussians are on their way to kill me. 361 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,320 But I had a thought: 362 00:15:31,339 --> 00:15:32,822 you first. 363 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:35,158 Please, Fat Tony, we've been through so much. 364 00:15:35,176 --> 00:15:37,751 You can't kill me over a stolen recipe. 365 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,270 [yells] 366 00:15:39,922 --> 00:15:41,731 [garbled groan] 367 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,095 [phone chimes] 368 00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:50,006 "Hey, Fat Tony. Homer here. 369 00:15:50,099 --> 00:15:53,284 "You just threw me off a bridge. LOL. 370 00:15:53,511 --> 00:15:57,288 If you pull me up, I can save both our lives." 371 00:15:58,016 --> 00:15:59,791 Explain first. 372 00:16:00,018 --> 00:16:02,251 Then I pull you up. 373 00:16:04,038 --> 00:16:07,373 "Pull me up first. Scary turtle down here. 374 00:16:07,525 --> 00:16:09,634 "Also, running low on oxygen. 375 00:16:09,861 --> 00:16:12,211 Crying-laughing emoji." 376 00:16:12,363 --> 00:16:13,954 -[thuds] -[panting] 377 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,867 If that TV show airs, the Prussians are gonna find out 378 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,869 that you had the recipe all along 379 00:16:19,962 --> 00:16:21,370 and they're going to kill you. 380 00:16:21,389 --> 00:16:24,040 But I can sneak us onto the Chew Network lot, 381 00:16:24,133 --> 00:16:26,375 and together we can stop that show. 382 00:16:26,394 --> 00:16:27,210 How? 383 00:16:27,228 --> 00:16:29,103 I'm a deranged fan. 384 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:32,306 All I do is think of ways to sneak onto the lot. 385 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,410 Okay. Let's hurry before the Prussians catch on. 386 00:16:38,481 --> 00:16:40,373 [tires screech] 387 00:16:44,078 --> 00:16:46,412 Two Thad Parkour look-alikes here 388 00:16:46,564 --> 00:16:48,172 for the Clam Chowder Chug-a-thon. 389 00:16:48,324 --> 00:16:50,758 Eh. Sounds like something we'd do. 390 00:16:51,753 --> 00:16:53,919 ♪ ♪ 391 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:58,741 Fat Tony, please, you don't want to do this, man. 392 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:00,743 How did you steal my recipe? 393 00:17:00,762 --> 00:17:02,762 I took every precaution. 394 00:17:02,914 --> 00:17:05,414 I made you turn around. 395 00:17:05,433 --> 00:17:06,524 Wait a minute. 396 00:17:07,418 --> 00:17:12,321 Your supercool backwards sunglasses recorded everything! 397 00:17:16,944 --> 00:17:21,122 You broke my heart, Thad's sunglasses. 398 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:25,601 It's the Prussians! Run! 399 00:17:25,620 --> 00:17:27,754 [Homer yelling, panting] 400 00:17:28,864 --> 00:17:31,674 [ska music playing] 401 00:17:40,543 --> 00:17:43,269 [playing disjointedly] 402 00:17:46,882 --> 00:17:48,048 [yelps] 403 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:49,475 It would seem Maximillian is 404 00:17:49,627 --> 00:17:51,385 trying to process some big feelings. 405 00:17:51,479 --> 00:17:54,888 His last memory of his father is a bitter one. 406 00:17:54,966 --> 00:17:56,908 His last memory? 407 00:17:57,135 --> 00:17:59,268 I know what to do. Give me the wheel! 408 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:00,803 -You, go under. -No, you go under. 409 00:18:00,822 --> 00:18:02,972 -Your foot's in my gabagool. -That's not my foot. 410 00:18:03,065 --> 00:18:04,398 That's not my gabagool. 411 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,542 Are you sure? It feels like one. 412 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,670 [ska music playing] 413 00:18:10,832 --> 00:18:13,407 What the hell just happened? 414 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,009 [tires screech] 415 00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:20,914 Where the fuggedaboutit are we? 416 00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,226 Just trust me. 417 00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:27,921 Wasn't enough just taking my father's love from me, 418 00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:30,924 you had to steal his recipe, too? 419 00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:33,002 Uh, before you shoot, 420 00:18:33,095 --> 00:18:36,505 just take a deep breath through your nose. 421 00:18:36,507 --> 00:18:40,025 There is nothing I could smell that could save your... 422 00:18:40,178 --> 00:18:41,869 [inhales deeply] 423 00:18:43,014 --> 00:18:45,623 [Homer] Because of what Fat Tony did, 424 00:18:45,850 --> 00:18:47,291 people all over this town 425 00:18:47,443 --> 00:18:50,369 are honoring your father's memory 426 00:18:50,446 --> 00:18:53,965 by making his most beloved dish. 427 00:18:55,526 --> 00:18:58,043 Gewalteintopf... 428 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,305 Eat. There is no cold in the world 429 00:19:01,457 --> 00:19:04,392 that can stand up to Papa's special stew. 430 00:19:06,053 --> 00:19:07,478 Oh, yum. What's in it? 431 00:19:07,705 --> 00:19:11,557 That is a precious secret that one day I will share with you. 432 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,042 For now, just eat. 433 00:19:13,135 --> 00:19:16,562 And know that your father loves you very much. 434 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,047 Now, let's see what adventures 435 00:19:18,065 --> 00:19:19,640 brave Colonel Klink is having 436 00:19:19,734 --> 00:19:23,369 with that buffoon Hogan and his unruly friends. 437 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,222 Father did love me. 438 00:19:26,315 --> 00:19:28,240 And now that the world has his recipe, 439 00:19:28,393 --> 00:19:31,985 your father will never truly be gone. 440 00:19:32,079 --> 00:19:34,246 Friedrich, put down the sax. 441 00:19:34,399 --> 00:19:35,731 [gasps] 442 00:19:35,750 --> 00:19:37,341 [sighs] 443 00:19:37,493 --> 00:19:38,426 [Homer yelps] 444 00:19:39,161 --> 00:19:40,845 Thank you, Maximillian. 445 00:19:40,996 --> 00:19:43,906 Oh, and how's my youngest son doing? 446 00:19:43,999 --> 00:19:45,941 Really good. He's super into mask-making. 447 00:19:45,943 --> 00:19:49,078 -How's mine? -We're zeroing in on his allergies. 448 00:19:49,096 --> 00:19:50,746 His eyes stopped watering, 449 00:19:50,765 --> 00:19:53,858 and we're slowly adding things back in. 450 00:19:54,769 --> 00:19:56,101 Kitchen Betrayals is a hit! 451 00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,437 Now I can make other shows where I travel the globe 452 00:19:58,589 --> 00:20:01,257 exploring local food scenes and fascinating cultures. 453 00:20:01,275 --> 00:20:03,442 And, Homer, my friend, I want you, 454 00:20:03,594 --> 00:20:06,520 the man who saved me, to join me on this journey. 455 00:20:06,597 --> 00:20:10,599 I've heard the rest of the world has slightly different toilets, 456 00:20:10,618 --> 00:20:12,210 and I'm scared of that. 457 00:20:12,361 --> 00:20:15,296 Everything I need is right here. 458 00:20:17,124 --> 00:20:19,959 But, Homer, I mean, this is growth for me. 459 00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,445 Can't you respect my decision? 460 00:20:22,463 --> 00:20:23,537 No. 461 00:20:23,631 --> 00:20:25,139 [Thad groans] 462 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,624 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 463 00:20:35,718 --> 00:20:37,626 and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 464 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,311 and TOYOTA. 465 00:20:39,464 --> 00:20:41,989 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 466 00:20:47,321 --> 00:20:49,413 Professor Lisa, we've established contact 467 00:20:49,565 --> 00:20:50,581 with the alien ship. 468 00:20:50,808 --> 00:20:52,658 As our lead astrophysicist, 469 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:56,312 you have the honor of conveying humanity's first words 470 00:20:56,372 --> 00:20:58,756 to extraterrestrial life. 471 00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,094 Visitors from another world-- 472 00:21:03,245 --> 00:21:05,096 Visitors from another world! 473 00:21:05,247 --> 00:21:06,655 -Not now. -Not now. 474 00:21:06,749 --> 00:21:08,007 -Can you just-- -Can you just 475 00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,750 -This is really important. -This is really important. 476 00:21:09,844 --> 00:21:11,343 -God, you're annoying! -God, you're annoying! 477 00:21:11,496 --> 00:21:14,013 -Get the hell out of here. -Get the hell out of here. 478 00:21:14,165 --> 00:21:15,589 -I hate you! -I hate you! 479 00:21:15,683 --> 00:21:17,441 -Everyone hates you! -Everyone hates you! 480 00:21:17,593 --> 00:21:18,776 [Lisa and Bart groaning] 481 00:21:18,927 --> 00:21:20,611 -I'll kill you! -I'll kill you! 482 00:21:20,838 --> 00:21:22,521 Apparently, this species 483 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,189 has a war-like nature. 484 00:21:24,284 --> 00:21:26,450 Commence obliteration. 485 00:21:26,602 --> 00:21:28,577 -[Lisa] Your fault. -[Bart] Your fault. 486 00:21:30,272 --> 00:21:32,331 Shh! 33206

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