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1
00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:05,544
Hang on, hang on -
you're not supposed to be here either?
2
00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,497
You're a mistake, just like me?
3
00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:08,881
Yeah, and I'm freaking out, dog!
4
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,926
There's so much thoughts in my brain
it's like my head is filled with rocks.
5
00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:15,054
How have you managed
to stay undiscovered?
6
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:18,682
Because I have had to dodge and weave
and barely escape with my life
7
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:23,222
and you don't seem... like a super genius.
8
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:27,566
Hello, Jianyu, I'm Michael.
9
00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:32,697
Before we start, I know you were
a Buddhist monk and kept a vow of silence.
10
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:35,279
Would you prefer
to remain silent here, as well?
11
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,578
You literally haven't said a word
since we got here?
12
00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:43,082
Yeah. When I say I'm meditating,
I'm just trying to figure out
13
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,333
what the fork is happening!
14
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,040
I think we might be in an alien zoo.
15
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:47,329
Or on a prank show.
16
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,213
No, Jianyu, we're dead.
17
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:51,124
Whoa, that's a dope prank.
18
00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:52,508
Whew, gotta give it up.
19
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:57,389
Okay. I need to make sure
that this isn't some sort of weird trap.
20
00:00:57,849 --> 00:00:59,340
Is your real name "Jianyu?"
21
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,180
No, it's Jason Mendoza.
22
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,766
And, by the way,
everyone here thinks I'm Taiwanese.
23
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:06,431
I'm Filipino. That's racist.
24
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:07,815
Heaven is so racist!
25
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:10,351
But Tahani said that you helped Michael
26
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:14,114
by putting your hand on his chest
and doing some sort of healing magic?
27
00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:18,527
Yeah, a nurse did that to calm me down once,
when I crashed my jet ski into a manatee.
28
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,904
You crashed your jet ski into a manatee?
29
00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:23,869
Yeah. I'm from Jacksonville, Florida.
It happens a lot.
30
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,000
What did you do for a living?
31
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:28,377
I was an amateur DJ.
specialising in EDM.
32
00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:30,167
Electronic Dance Music?
33
00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:32,836
I was also an amateur
hip-hop backup dancer
34
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,968
an amateur body spray inventor,
um... I did pranks on Vine...
35
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,174
None of those are jobs.
36
00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:38,408
What did you do to make money?
37
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,389
Oh, I sold fake drugs to college kids.
38
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:43,177
Okay. Good.
39
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:45,094
Okay, here's my biggest question.
40
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:48,686
How did you know
that I didn't belong here?
41
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:55,106
I figured it out the very first night,
at the party, using my powers of deduction.
42
00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:57,065
I heard you don't talk.
43
00:01:57,117 --> 00:02:02,454
Well here's something for you
to not talk about - I don't belong here!
44
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:07,162
They made a mistake.
Total phony. So, shh!
45
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:11,211
Okay. Later, man.
46
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:15,042
Okay, I vaguely remember that.
47
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:17,968
I believe you, Jason.
48
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,595
You're not supposed to be here.
49
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,680
Welcome to the bottom of the barrel.
50
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,148
Hello, Tahani!
51
00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:33,017
Oh! Hello, Michael!
52
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:36,404
I was just picking out some fresh orchids
for my nightly orchid bath.
53
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:40,613
So, Tahani, one of your fellow residents
is opening a new restaurant tonight.
54
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:43,324
This Neighbourhood could use
a real morale boost -
55
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,455
and since you're an expert
at event planning
56
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,832
I was hoping that you would help
with the Grand Opening.
57
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:49,788
Oh, Michael! Say no more!
58
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,668
I wasn't going to! I was done!
59
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:54,501
Well, good! Because of course I will.
60
00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:55,790
Janet?
- Hi there.
61
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,083
Oh! Hello, darling.
62
00:02:57,135 --> 00:03:00,879
I would like to model tonight's event
on my most successful gala.
63
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:06,268
That would be 2006 fundraiser
for stem cell research in Barcelona.
64
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:08,018
"Barthelona," actually.
65
00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:09,895
Oh, it was a perfect evening.
66
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:12,307
Princess Stephanie was there,
as were Posh and Becks.
67
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:16,269
You know, International Sophisticate
Magazine gave us five Gwyneths!
68
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:20,319
Tonight I'm going to select
my jauntiest suit.
69
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:23,117
And I may even wear suspenders.
70
00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:24,110
Ah!
71
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:26,905
It's one of the human clothing items
I'm most eager to try.
72
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,664
Oh. Well, good luck.
73
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,541
Thank you, yes, yes.
74
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:32,668
I'm excited and... a little nervous.
75
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,004
I'd say that I'm "cautiously optimistic."
76
00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:38,341
I hope I don't chicken out
at the last second.
77
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,919
Sorry, we are talking
about suspenders, right?
78
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,587
Like, these?
79
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,305
You can do that with them?
80
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,011
Oh! I cannot wait!
81
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:47,643
Excellent.
82
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,802
So Tahani has no idea about me?
83
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:53,185
No. She thinks I'm a monk,
and she thinks you're her best friend.
84
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,940
Great. I mean, for us.
85
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,396
That's a huge bummer for her.
86
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,479
We need some place
that we can talk in private.
87
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:00,531
I agree.
88
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,274
Let me show you my bud-hole.
89
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:06,365
What?
- I should warn you, it's a little messy.
90
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:10,869
This is my Bud-Hole.
91
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:14,578
It's just like a hole where me
and my buds can hang out.
92
00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:18,122
Oh! "Bud-hole." Okay, now I get it.
93
00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:21,427
I wrote down on a piece of paper
that I needed a private "meditation area."
94
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:23,052
Tahani will never come in.
95
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:27,223
Pretty unique decorating style
you have here, Jianyu.
96
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:31,136
It's like, "12 year-old boy"
meets "13 year-old boy."
97
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:34,602
Thanks! Janet helped me get all this stuff.
She rules.
98
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:37,813
Is she single?
Or is she married to Michael?
99
00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:40,069
No, no, dude. You cannot date Janet.
100
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,524
"A," she's not human
101
00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:44,816
and "B," you have to keep pretending
to be Tahani's soulmate.
102
00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:47,535
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool.
103
00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:50,117
Okay, just sit tight, dude.
I have a class to get to.
104
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:51,664
What? A... a class?
105
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,162
I... I didn't know there were classes!
I was sick.
106
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:56,126
I have a note.
- No, no, no.
107
00:04:56,171 --> 00:05:00,461
Chidi is trying to teach me
to be a good person, and it's really hard.
108
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:03,297
Also, Michael has asked me to be
his "assistant," whatever that means.
109
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:06,509
My whole situation here is getting
like more and more dicey.
110
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:10,682
So I'm actually really glad to have a place
I can come when I just want to be myself.
111
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:15,438
Yeah. I miss being myself.
Myself was the best.
112
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:23,775
Whoo!
113
00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,076
What's up, man? You Jason?
114
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,080
You got two minutes.
115
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,202
Fred Durst is throwing an orgy
on a partially capsized yacht.
116
00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:36,413
My dad just texted, it already started.
117
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:40,171
So I'll get right to the point,
I listened to your demo. You're terrible.
118
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:42,800
Really?
- Yeah.
119
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,712
Okay, you just don't have any...
120
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,753
what's the word? Talent.
121
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,617
But don't worry, you got something
better than talent, man.
122
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,758
You got my approximate size and weight.
123
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,247
I'm supposed to play this club
for the rest of the week
124
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:57,014
but I just got an offer
to DJ Scott Disick's afterparty
125
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,852
for the Amateur Porn Awards in Reno.
126
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,517
Whoa! Congrats, bro! That's the dream!
127
00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:03,186
It's your dream, man. It's my Tuesday.
128
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:04,729
I just need somebody to fill in.
129
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,176
Put on the helmet,
press "space bar" on the computer -
130
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,720
those idiots
won't know the difference.
131
00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:11,987
For the next week,
Jason, you are "Acidcat."
132
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:16,582
Whoa! There's a lot
of old gum in here!
133
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,022
Tahani! How are things going
in the front of the house?
134
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:23,255
Because to be perfectly frank,
things in the kitchen are going great!
135
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,417
Okay, I am right on schedule!
136
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:29,386
Chef Patricia, I have triple-checked
every single detail.
137
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:32,799
Your restaurant opening is going to be
the talk of the entire Neighbourhood!
138
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,138
Thank you for your thoughtfulness
and hard work!
139
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:37,018
I could not have done this without you!
140
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,304
Ah! Hello, Tahani.
141
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,519
Sorry, I should've warned you.
142
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:46,522
Patricia is actually very happy
but she's also very intense.
143
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:47,781
It can be confusing.
144
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,690
No, no, no, that's not
what's bothering me.
145
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:50,859
It's just that, well...
146
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:54,533
I looked at the guest list earlier
and Jianyu isn't invited?
147
00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:56,457
Right.
148
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,832
Jianyu is a beautiful spirit.
149
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,035
But he literally doesn't talk.
150
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:04,292
And since this will be
an evening of lively conversation
151
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,044
and you'll be busy working,
152
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,508
I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable.
153
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,465
I totally understand.
154
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,429
Well-reasoned, Michael.
155
00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:17,094
As us Brits are fond of saying,
"Try your best to hide your sadness."
156
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:24,647
So the concept of the "self"
is a key subject for a lot of great thinkers.
157
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,606
In the Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu wrote -
158
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:30,322
"Knowing others is wisdom.
159
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,493
But knowing the self is enlightenment."
160
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:35,903
Ah! "Knowing yourself?"
161
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:39,031
Is he talking about
what I think he's talking about?
162
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,158
No, Eleanor, once again
163
00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:44,830
none of these philosophers
is ever talking about masturbation.
164
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,333
Let's, uh... move on
to this week's main event...
165
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,714
David Hume's
"A Treatise of Human Nature."
166
00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:53,379
You read this, right?
- I did.
167
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:54,843
Well, I tried to.
168
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,473
Well, I tried to want to.
169
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,139
Um, actually,
could we postpone this lesson?
170
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:03,982
I've befriended Jianyu from next door,
and I thought I could learn from him.
171
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,558
That's a great idea.
172
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:09,479
Hume's "bundle theory" of the self
is fairly close to Buddhism.
173
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:12,398
Yeah, no "durr!"
That's why I'm doing it.
174
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:15,911
Do you hear music?
175
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:17,657
That's not music.
176
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,366
That's EDM!
177
00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:26,583
What are you doing?
178
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,460
Eleanor, you were right!
179
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,670
No more pretending!
It's time for me to be myself!
180
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,344
What's up, homey?
181
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,338
Eleanor? You broke Jianyu!
182
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,178
Okay, did we miss anything?
183
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,142
Ugh! Take that jersey off,
you goofball!
184
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,437
Okay. This is not my fault, I swear.
185
00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:51,024
Eleanor, one hour ago,
that man was a silent Buddhist monk!
186
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,813
Right, but here's the thing.
187
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,607
Jianyu is actually...
188
00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:57,868
a guy who is nice! Hi, Tahani!
189
00:08:58,121 --> 00:09:00,283
Eleanor! Chidi! What a lovely surprise.
190
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:02,309
Don't mind me, I'm just dropping off
my afternoon gloves
191
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,074
and picking up my early evening gloves.
192
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,585
How are you, soulmate?
- I'm cool.
193
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:14,962
I'm sorry, am I going mad
or did I just hear you say, "I'm cool?"
194
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:17,505
Mmm. Mm-mm. I don't think so.
195
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,597
I don't think that happened.
You're... you're wrong.
196
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:21,763
Oh, I see what's going here.
197
00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:24,641
You've got a Whisper
in your Snicker box!
198
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:29,020
You're both helping Jianyu
to regain his confidence
199
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,810
to be able to speak again!
200
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:34,981
As a surprise for me!
- Oh, busted.
201
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,775
My heart is soaring!
202
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,155
So Jianyu is talking? Oh, how wonderful!
203
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:45,207
I will do everything in my power
to encourage him.
204
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,251
Well, not everything.
205
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:48,773
I won't give him a second mouth -
unless that would be helpful?
206
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,288
No. Better not risk it.
207
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:51,922
I've actually had a better idea.
208
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,671
Oh!
- Let's add Jianyu to the guest list.
209
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,489
Chidi and Eleanor
have been working with him
210
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,240
and they're going to be here.
- What a great idea!
211
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,847
Patricia?
We can fit another chair, right?
212
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:04,222
Change the floor plan?
An hour before opening?
213
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,267
Of course! The more the merrier!
214
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,108
Oh, hurrah!
215
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:13,603
I knew tonight was going to be perfect,
but now it is going to be even perfect-er!
216
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:17,281
Obviously, it's impossible for something
to be more perfect than perfect.
217
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:19,491
Well, it isn't, actually.
218
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:22,279
Any place or thing in the universe
219
00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:26,332
can be up to one hundred
and four percent perfect.
220
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,617
That's how you got Beyoncé.
221
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:28,669
Oh!
222
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,873
Oh. "Bud-hole."
223
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,132
Okay. Now, tell me everything.
224
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:39,507
Okay. Jianyu is a fraud
225
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:41,265
just like me.
226
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:42,343
His real name is Jason.
227
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,975
He's a drug-dealing DJ from Florida.
228
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,103
It's gonna be fine. We just need a plan.
229
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,850
Oh, I got a plan.
230
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:51,978
We hack into Michael's phone
231
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:55,603
download all his nudes,
and then blackmail him.
232
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,897
No. What are you ta... No!
233
00:10:57,949 --> 00:10:59,565
Yo, you should listen to me!
234
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,178
I came up with hundreds
of plans in my life
235
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,602
and only one of them got me killed.
236
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,198
Dude! Be quiet!
237
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:07,206
You are not Jason. You are a monk
named Jianyu.
238
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,458
Got it?
239
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:19,001
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
240
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,629
Dude, another great set, Jason.
241
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:22,717
They love you, dude!
242
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,800
They don't love me, man.
They love Acidcat.
243
00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:27,677
These cheers are fake.
244
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:31,101
They hit my ears
like boxing gloves of sadness.
245
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:34,517
Whoa.
That's some poetic thoughts, "B."
246
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,022
I gotta be myself!
247
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,491
Attention Jacksonville.
248
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,031
I'm not Acidcat.
249
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:52,707
I'm Mr Music, the DJ.
And this is a Mr Music, the DJ original!
250
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,419
Pow!
251
00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:13,639
Welcome to the opening
of "The Good Plates".
252
00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:17,861
I just got that.
253
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:19,854
That's hilarious!
254
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:22,485
Anyway, at some point or another
255
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:27,824
every resident in this Neighbourhood
will fulfill his or her soul's true purpose.
256
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:32,958
Chef Patricia has done that tonight,
by opening this restaurant!
257
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:38,335
Now, if you'd all like
to take a look at tonight's menus.
258
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:41,584
That's right!
259
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:42,922
With Michael's help
260
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:47,131
Chef Patricia has recreated
each person's favourite meal on Earth!
261
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:48,390
Fun!
262
00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:57,941
It's my Grandmother's maafe!
263
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,228
Fresh perch, slow roasted
in a peanut sauce.
264
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:04,815
Almost makes me forget
how miserable I am right now.
265
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:06,779
You want to try a bite?
266
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:07,909
Fish and peanut butter?
267
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:08,954
No, I'm good, thanks.
268
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:12,739
Tofu? Aw, man!
269
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,103
I'm ordering some jalapeño poppers.
270
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,335
Shh! Be quiet and eat your white sponge.
271
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,877
Janet?
- Hi, there.
272
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,459
Hi. I didn't get a meal.
273
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:24,592
According to our files
274
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:27,880
your favourite "meal" was
the hunger strike you went on
275
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:30,265
to protest Bolivian sex trafficking.
276
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:33,135
Oh, right. Of course I did that.
277
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,059
Tahani? Great party.
278
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:37,682
Check it out.
279
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:38,734
Oh!
- Suspenders!
280
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:42,144
So dumb.
So much dumber than belts.
281
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,610
Ah, congratulations, Michael.
282
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,816
How's Jianyu doing?
Is he opening up?
283
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:51,286
Mmm... not yet.
But I can tell he wants to.
284
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,114
Don't worry. I've got a plan.
285
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:55,407
May I have your attention please?
286
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,451
Later this evening,
287
00:13:57,503 --> 00:14:00,462
we will be enjoying
Chef Patricia's delicious dessert -
288
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:05,092
a stunning, three-tiered cake
that took her a full week to complete.
289
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:07,219
But first, I'd like to try something fun.
290
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:11,841
Each one of you has a very special memory
attached to the meal you're eating.
291
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,436
Why don't we go around the room
and share our stories?
292
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:16,688
Who'd like to begin?
293
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:20,349
I'll start, Michael!
294
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:24,103
One day, I wasn't feeling so great
295
00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:27,990
so I made myself
a bowl of this chicken soup...
296
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:31,652
When it gets to you, say something short
and boring about tofu.
297
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:35,823
No! I'm sick of pretending
to be Jianyu the tofu man.
298
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,579
I'm gonna tell the story
about my real favourite meal.
299
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:39,542
Which is?
300
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:42,671
The Buffalo wings at Stupid Nick's
Wing Dump in Gainesville.
301
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,277
Wings were free for ladies
if they took their top off!
302
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,884
Oh, boy. Chidi? A word?
303
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:52,927
Anyway, that's how this simple soup
saved over ten thousand lives.
304
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:59,355
If Jianyu starts talking about topless
buffalo wing restaurants, we're all screwed!
305
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,981
Well maybe we should just let him talk.
306
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,378
He says he doesn't want to hide anymore.
307
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,768
He doesn't know what he wants.
308
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,937
He's an idiot from Florida.
309
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:07,445
He's a "Floridiot."
310
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:12,659
Jianyu Li, Taiwanese monk who took
a vow of silence at the age of eight
311
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:16,489
and hasn't spoken since,
is ready to share with us.
312
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:24,501
Let me tell you about Stupid Nick.
313
00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:29,468
We need a distraction!
Right the fork now!
314
00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,839
No, no, no, no! Eleanor!
315
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:36,099
Chef Patricia poured her heart
and soul into this.
316
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,056
Destroying it would be
a truly cruel act.
317
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:40,517
Yeah, no "durr."
- No, no, no!
318
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:54,868
Sinkhole!
Everyone out, there's a sinkhole!
319
00:15:58,541 --> 00:15:59,748
Glenn!
320
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,326
You broke the world!
321
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:04,415
It's not a compliment!
322
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:09,712
Glenn? Stay calm!
323
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,171
We're gonna get you out of there!
324
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:14,179
And we'll put your soup in the fridge,
so it won't go to waste!
325
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:19,476
I know that may not be
your number one concern right now, but...
326
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,933
It was up there. It's real good soup!
327
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:23,273
Let's go.
328
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:25,901
Hey, buddy!
329
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:27,146
You okay?
330
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:30,566
No. I was just about to tell
an awesome story
331
00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:32,527
about a wing-eating contest
that I lost
332
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,858
and a barfing contest that I won
333
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,698
but then a hole opened up in the ground!
334
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:40,035
I know. I made the hole,
to save you from yourself.
335
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,288
You cannot let people know
who you really are.
336
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:46,204
It would be very, very bad.
337
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,500
Beautiful, beautiful Jacksonville.
338
00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:55,887
What's wrong, dog?
You look like you're freaking out.
339
00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:57,885
Things are bad, Pillboi.
340
00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:01,469
Acidcat is suing me
for "bleach of contract."
341
00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:03,808
I should have never pretended
to be someone else.
342
00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:05,848
It could cost me
all my dreams in life.
343
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:08,437
You got dreams in life?
That's lit!
344
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,230
Course I have dreams, man!
345
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,863
I don't want to be a DJ
in Jacksonville forever.
346
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:18,949
I want to DJ in Daytona,
Tallahassee, Tampa, even.
347
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:20,536
I want it all.
348
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,747
That's big goals, man.
349
00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:25,121
I know. But I believe in myself.
350
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:28,123
Someday, the world will see
what I already know -
351
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:33,293
that Jason Mendoza
is a beautiful, unique soul
352
00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:35,756
who has so much to give this world.
353
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:40,515
Okay, that's Acidcat's speedboat.
354
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,960
Hand me the thing that blows it up.
355
00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:44,521
That's lit.
356
00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:55,693
Michael, I hereby tender my resignation.
357
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:58,741
I can no longer, in good conscience,
coordinate any further events
358
00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:01,995
in the Good Place,
so I am turning in my evening gloves.
359
00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:04,490
Tahani...
- Don't try to make me feel better.
360
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,666
The launch was a disaster.
361
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:10,120
Poor Jianyu was so terrified
that I fear he may never speak again.
362
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:12,585
My hair is barely
cascading down my shoulders!
363
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:13,919
Tahani, please.
364
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:18,216
I know your journey
with Jianyu has been frustrating.
365
00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:22,015
But your situation is actually very typical.
366
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:25,431
Soulmates sometimes
take months to really click.
367
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:26,891
You have to be patient.
368
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:31,229
And if anyone should take the blame
for the restaurant disaster, it's me.
369
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:34,027
I thought this Neighbourhood's
troubles were behind us.
370
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,196
Now I fear the worst.
371
00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:38,074
Michael.
372
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:41,360
I hereby rescind
the tendering of my resignation.
373
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,223
We must keep
the Neighbourhood together.
374
00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:44,247
What can I do?
375
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:48,000
Oh! Well, the sinkhole should be
repairing itself in about three days.
376
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:50,364
Well, as soon as it does,
we shall relaunch the restaurant!
377
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:52,662
I'll hang posters to get the word out.
378
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:55,674
And in the meantime,
I'll host a brunch party, every morning,
379
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:56,925
to lift people's spirits.
380
00:18:57,303 --> 00:19:01,468
While you "re-pair" the universe,
I shall "pre-pare" the eggs!
381
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:03,302
Oh! Fanciful wordplay!
382
00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:06,810
Indeed! That is the Tahani
that you know and love!
383
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:10,681
So what do we do, here?
384
00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:11,814
There's nothing to do.
385
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:16,187
He's just gonna blab and get him
and me both sent to the Bad Place.
386
00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:17,739
It's hopeless.
387
00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:27,282
Can't believe I'm doing this but,
Jason, please come to my classroom.
388
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:31,414
I will teach you ethics,
like I'm doing with Eleanor
389
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:34,167
and if you work hard
and absorb the material
390
00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:36,555
you just might be able
to earn your place here.
391
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:41,221
Nah, I'm good.
392
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:46,929
Dude! Chidi is giving you a lifeline
right now and you need to take it.
393
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:48,389
Because you suck!
394
00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:50,729
You suck!
- I know!
395
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:52,889
That's what I'm trying to tell you.
396
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:55,025
We both suck!
You know who doesn't suck?
397
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:59,063
Chidi. He is putting himself
in danger to help us
398
00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:02,108
because he, unlike us,
is an amazing person.
399
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:05,323
I didn't get into heaven
to go to school.
400
00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:08,492
You didn't get into heaven at all,
shirt for brains!
401
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:09,698
I just want to be myself.
402
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,867
That's a very, very bad idea.
403
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,455
Do not be yourself.
404
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:16,087
You need to be a better version
of yourself, okay?
405
00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:17,339
And I do, too.
406
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:21,548
And our only hope right now
is this kind, selfless, amazing nerd.
407
00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:22,965
Think about that.
408
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,800
Eh, do you have to call me
a "nerd" so much?
409
00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:26,932
I said a lot of other nice things,
okay?
410
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:27,976
Toughen up, nerd.
411
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:33,772
Let's get cracking, teach!
412
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:37,146
I read this entire David Hume book,
and then I read it again
413
00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:39,923
because I didn't understand it
the first time, and now I'm ready to go!
414
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:43,531
Wow. Uh, that's really impressive.
Uh, where's Jianyu?
415
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,798
Honestly, I don't even know
if he's coming.
416
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:50,037
I am here to learn about "ethnics".
417
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,708
Wow! That's great, man!
418
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,620
Um, I mean, it's "ethics"
but that's great.
419
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,169
Pretty sure it's "ethnics."
420
00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:00,461
Hey, buddy? I'm proud of you.
421
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:03,260
This is your first step
towards not sucking.
422
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,720
Cool. I just have two questions.
423
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:09,967
When are football tryouts,
and does this school have a prom?
424
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:13,599
Oh, no.
- Oh, wow.
425
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:17,979
For the first time ever,
I'm the smartest kid in class.
33288
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