Original subtitles

Prologue

Day Zero

"Come to me, this isn't just a figment of your fantasy."

"You know I'm real but still you seem confused and strange."

"Your life's being changed. Being changed by Mystere."

"Tell me how? And does the colour of my eyes disturb you now?"

"Could it be the silence of my touch? There's nothing wrong."

Cut it out.

Don't sit there, all upset.

I was only away for five days.

I need a little rest sometimes.

You know my life is hell.

I'll never forget about you, Felix. I only care about you.

It's Giorgio, I'll call back.

I got your number from Pamela. Can we meet when you get back from Paris?

It's Giorgio again, I'll call back.

Vizone speaking, I must speak to you, it's urgent.

Giorgio, I'll call back.

What's new? -It's terrible, look around...

They look like they're dying of hunger.

If I don't down some pills I'll go out of my mind.

Come with me.

My compliments, you have a wonderful apartment.

Surprised?

No, nothing ever surprises me.

We haven't talked about money?

We can talk about it later. -That's not a problem.

A friend of mine will arrive shortly...

You'll do exactly as I tell you.

I repeat...

Nothing ever surprises me.

You see, at a certain age, we become a little more complicated.

I adore complications.

Start undressing

You're beautiful tonight.

Thank you.

This black dress suits you.

You know I'm not wearing anything underneath.

I find you divine when you're dressed in black.

Now, caress her.

Get dressed...

You'll find $1000 in your bag.

I bagged a client who's waiting for us in a hotel...

He said he wants to have a threesome.

I won't do it for less than $500.

Don't worry, that's what he's offering. $500 each.

What's he like? In two words.

He's German, he's rich and he's fat.

Excuse me?

Mr Reinhardt.

Can I have your documents?

Room 402.

Hi.

This is my friend. She's just come back from Paris.

Good, I adore French women.

Fantastic.

Delusions at three in the morning can cause insomnia.

Money in advance...

Those are the rules. -No Italian Lira, only dollars.

They don't frighten us.

If you pay double we'll stay all night. -I detest sleeping with strangers.

I know what you mean.

Well? Have you decided who you're starting with?

With you...

...and her.

That's not in the rules.

I paid for two. Enough of this small talk, get undressed.

Get me a drink.

There's a bar next door.

Wait for me to come back.

Where's my bourbon?

What's wrong? Can't you do it without alcohol?

He's already finished. He's one of the ones we like.

Here, speedy Gonzalez.

It's always the same story...

You whores disgust me.

Let's just go.

Listen, Mystere. I have to tell you something...

What? -You'll be angry, I couldn't resist...

Come on. I promise I won't get upset.

I know I shouldn't have, but he was a real asshole...

Hey, you.

Who? Me?

Yes, you. How much for the night?

What? First you try to kill me...

...and now you want to hire me?

Who do you take me for?

Is $200 enough?

I say he's taken you for what you are.

Make it $400...

...and I'm yours till tomorrow morning.

Okay, I'm not tired anyway.

Follow me.

How do I get home? On foot?

Take a taxi. -Wait, I was telling you something important.

Day One

Well, Reinhardt?

Where are the negatives? -They were in my lighter...

...but I lost it.

That was a grave error.

I looked everywhere but I can't find it.

The only possible explanation is that they robbed it from me.

Who are they?

Two girls came here last night.

Two whores?

I know, I shouldn't have.

Exactly. You shouldn't have.

It must have been one of them. They saw the gold lighter, and...

Can you find them again?

I don't know. They work around Via Veneto.

One was blonde, the other brunette.

Give me some time. I swear I'll find them.

Turn off the TV, I can't think.

I'm sorry, my friend...

Always watch your back.

Yes? -It's Vizone, I need to see you.

Come over to my place.

Good evening.

Hey, Mystere...

You didn't come to my fight the other night.

I saw you on television...

I thought you would've knocked him out. -I could have, but I wanted to save him.

If your heart is as big as your muscles.

My right hook is a hammer.

Touch it. It's like stone.

I need to check your muscles. One by one... Calmly.

Why not tonight? -Because she's got an appointment with me.

Hi, Mystere.

This is the advantage of being the owner. Isn't that right, Vizone?

One must exploit the advantages they have.

And I want to have the advantage of having a chat with the boss alone.

Did you hear me, blondie? Park yourself at the bar.

Move it.

This is what I like about you, Vizone...

You know how to be so romantic.

Why didn't you come straight away?

I gave you time to reflect. -I reflected...

Now, you have to reflect.

You're behind with your rent.

I don't remember renting anything from you.

Try to concentrate...

According to you, who owns those filthy streets where you work?

Are you called Vizone, or the local council?

I want $1000 a month. Clear?

Go fuck yourself.

Listen, many years ago I knew a certain Samantha, or was it Vanessa?

She had this amazing firey red hair. One night, they really caught fire...

Yes, it was Samantha. Vanessa fell down six flights of stairs.

You won't believe this but I love these kinds of stories...

I read them every night before I go to sleep.

I could always...

...permanently disfigure your face.

And I could always let you screw me for free, once a month.

But no rent. Well?

Take it or leave it?

I don't think you cost a lot.

I'm the best.

Good... Then let's make it twice a month.

Okay with me...

If you can manage the second time.

Have you looked in your handbag?

Why? -The lighter.

What lighter?

Listen, wait for me. I'll tell you later.

Here we are.

Money in advance. Those are the rules.

Do you have a light?

What's wrong? Are you nervous?

Day Two

Listen, wait for me. I'll tell you later.

Listen, come back tomorrow, I'm not feeling so good.

Police. I need to speak to you.

She was my best friend. -Yes, I know...

I managed to piece that together...

...and it's the only clue I've got.

Your perfume could knock out a priest.

Come in, why don't you.

You can be sarcastic sitting down.

In the homicide squad they call me Colt.

I'm called Mystere. -How come?

It's a mystery.

I like mysteries. -You like the French?

I was tempted to go into a restaurant in Paris once...

Unfortunately, there's something in French food I cannot digest...

Naturally, I'm referring to the bill.

Class has a price.

You have to allow yourself some luxuries.

I'll allow them, willingly. -What do you want to know?

Do you ever watch police shows on TV?

The detective comes in, he asks some questions...

Some reply and some people tell lies.

It goes on like that for 50 minutes until the detective catches the killer.

I'm one of those people who doesn't know anything.

But I haven't asked you anything? -Regardless, I don't know anything.

Did Pamela have someone protecting her?

Ask the guys in uniform. They know everything.

I bet you don't like policemen.

Let's just say they don't excite me.

I'm not asking much but if you insist you could be in real trouble...

In the rulebook it's called reticent witnesses...

I'll have to use my cuffs.

Listen...

Why do you continue to torment me?

Can't you leave me in peace? I've got nothing to tell you...

And if I did, I wouldn't tell you anyway.

When did you last see her? -You're right, I don't like policemen.

Going back to those TV shows I was talking about...

If a witness wouldn't speak up, the detective would loosen his grip...

...and leave, without ever looking back.

Or, in other cases, he says...

Listen closely, bitch. Start talking or I'll haul you in.

Look, I know your type. The policeman and the whore...

Usually, he beats her naked on the bed. Come on, let's get a move on...

Then we can get it out of the way.

That doesn't work with me. I like the exotic type...

With darker skin.

I find white women boring.

And another thing...

I don't do this job to screw.

Listen, if you ever get the urge to talk...

Give me a call.

Then the detective walks away, saying...

"Don't worry, I know the way."

Day Three

Rough night, Mystere?

It's better like this...

I don't feel like working tonight.

Don't you ever think about death? -Every now and then.

I never think about it.

But when I do, it frightens me.

You really liked Pamela, right? You were good friends.

There weren't many like her.

Right. She was a good girl.

She was wasted in this life.

You as well.

'The Body of a German businessman found in hotel'

No fingerprints. No trace...

Nothing. -I had her fingerprints analysed...

No traces of food...

No hair or fabric fibres.

Evidently, there was no struggle.

Colt, there's a call for you. -Take this.

Hello? -It's Mystere...

I've changed my mind...

I must speak to you immediately. Strange things are happening.

No...

I'd prefer to speak to you in person.

I think I might be useful to you this time.

Yes, okay.

Police.

At least we got one of them. -Search the house.

...wait for me. I'll tell you later.

Help.

Help.

Help.

See what happens when you keep your mouth shut?

I warn you, my place is a mess. -Don't worry...

I'm not looking for luxury, I'm looking for protection.

Empty your sack, I'm all ears.

You know the German killed in the hotel? -Yes.

We're not dealing with that case...

We heard about it a day after it happened.

I was with him the night before he was killed.

Were you in love?

Pamela was with me as well.

We went to the hotel and he paid us.

There are a lof of coincidences...

They killed the German and the next night they killed Pamela.

And tonight they tried to throw me off a roof.

Evidently, there's a connection. -But what?

You're the detective.

How much do you earn a day?

A lot.

Do you do it for the money?

If you're hungry...

You won't find anything in the fridge.

However, if you're thirsty...

There's tap water.

They say it's great for the skin.

If you're tired...

I'm very well organised.

I'm going to have a shower, If you hear someone there's another gun here.

Who might you be?

A friend of Colt's.

Where is Colt? -He's taking a shower.

And who are you? -I'm also a friend of Colt's.

Colt has a lot of friends.

Listen up, Diana Ross...

I know what you're thinking; "Is she sleeping here tonight?"

Well... The reply is affirmative.

Tell him he's a bastard, on my behalf.

A friend of yours passed by.

Where?

Here. She wasn't bad.

Who was it? Martha?

She didn't introduce herself but she was very coloured.

Where did she go? -How do I know?

Why didn't you tell her to wait? -I was afraid I'd lose my place.

No, that's my place.

Okay, okay. I'll sleep on the sofa.

The bed is big enough for both of us. -I only sleep with people who pay me.

I could also pay you. Then, I'd have the right to kick you out.

Leave it. I'm too expensive for you...

Can you lend me some pyjamas. -In the draw.

Turn around.

Do I have to pay just to have a look? -Of course.

I know you're watching me.

Don't be afraid. I told you I won't jump on you.

I don't like white women.

Perhaps I'm a little racist.

Me too. I only like people I fall in love with.

I thought whores never fall in love?

They say the same about you policemen.

Sweet dreams.

Day Four

In reality, the clues I've collected are leading me elsewhere...

One: two prostitutes go to a hotel to see a Mr Reinhardt...

Two: The next morning Reinhardt is killed and you start your investigation...

Three: The same night, Pamela, one of the prostitutes, is killed...

Four: The next day someone tries to kill the other prostitute but I saved her...

Five: Anyone can tell these murders have one common denominator.

My congratulations, detective...

You are demonstrating excellent professional qualities...

Considering how young you are, you have an excellent career ahead.

My sincerest compliments. This is meticulous work.

We have another clue, the killer drives a black Spider.

Yes? -Yes, I've already told my men.

They're stopping all the black Spider's in Rome.

Start with mine then.

I've also got a black Spider.

One less to check.

Great.

You see, inspector...

The Reinhardt case is very hot...

That's why we're in charge. Please, don't ask me for details...

This case is top secret.

At this point the homicide squad must step aside...

Seeing as there's a clear connection between both murders...

Me and my men will take care of your case.

I don't like leaving an investigation half way.

Me neither.

Do you have a light?

They treat you well down in homicide...

Very elegant.

This is Arabic gold.

It's not mine. It belongs to a friend of mine.

If I might hazard a guess; your friend is a high class whore?

If you want to see any of the forensic reports...

It's all in my office.

With pleasure.

However, I'm certain the assassin's days are numbered.

As for this lady Mystere...

You can sleep peacefully...

From now on I'll take care of protecting her, personally.

Hello.

Good morning.

Hi, Colt. -Were you asleep?

No, I've been up for a while.

What are you doing? -I'm having breakfast.

Well, I'm trying to.

Did you sleep well? -Not really...

You snore like a bear. -Sofa's are very comfortable to sleep on.

Any news? -Yes, I'm off the investigation...

Criminalpol are taking over. -Who will protect me then?

They will. Eitherway, the pistol is still there.

Go home and don't worry. If you need me, you know where to find me.

I'll be here till late. By the way, I took your lighter by accident.

You're mistaken, I don't smoke. It must belong to Diana Ross.

Hey, Colt... Your best friend got stabbed in the stomach.

I've got to go. Someone's here to see me, bye.

Your best friend, eh?

If you move, I'll shoot.

You're Mystere. -I ask the questions, who are you?

Pamela's brother. We met at the seaside, don't you remember?

We ate in that place by the beach and Pamela got really sunburnt.

Yes, I remember now...

It was a beautiful day. You were with another woman.

She's my wife now.

I'm sorry, but after all that's happened I'm not taking any risks.

Thanks for taking care of the funeral.

I was very close to her.

I told her it was a dangerous job, but she never listened to me.

I have to go now.

Bye.

Mystere, listen to me. If I were you I'd change career.

I came to collect the rent.

You know, making love to you is like drinking from a paper cup...

You can't taste anything.

It's you who has to pay the rent...

I'm just the receiver.

Have you looked in your handbag? -Why?

The lighter. -What lighter?

By the way, I took your lighter by mistake.

I have to go and find a friend. Will you give me a lift?

Hey, Mystere...

You're not doing it with policemen now? -Yes, I'm looking for a husband.

I'll see you round. -Count on it.

Is Colt around? -No, he's gone home.

If you really don't know what to do this evening, I'm finishing my shift as well.

Can I make a call honey?

Turn off the light when you leave.

Come on Martha, don't make it an issue.

She's just a friend, I promise.

Listen, I really want to see you...

Come here and we'll talk.

Hello? This is Levi...

I'm in his office, the lighter isn't here. I've looked everwhere but I don't see it.

I've got no choice but to look for it in his house...

Stay calm. I'll find it...

I'll deal with this personally.

Bye.

Stop that man. He's a murderer.

Really? I've always known him as the head of Criminalpol.

I need to talk to you.

Come in. What's happened?

I need your lighter.

What lighter? -The one you had in my office today.

What are you doing? Are you crazy?

I haven't got time to lose and I don't like discussions.

That's better.

Then it was you who tried to kill Mystere? -Yes...

The only problem was some detective who got a little too big for his boots.

I'm sorry.

Yes, this really upsets me Colt...

Your indiscretion has caused a lot of embarrasment...

...to certain people in high places.

They call them...

...secret agents.

Yes? I thought they only existed in novels.

And in real life.

The only difference is instead of being called something extravagant like 007...

...they have names right out of a telephone directory.

Like you? -One of many.

Do you mind if we go to the bathroom?

Undress and get in the bathtub.

The papers are full of stories like this...

Dead in the bath tub from a short circuit.

Someone reads it and two minutes later they've forgotten.

When the razor touches the water death is immediate...

...and terribly painful.

And I listened to him.

Three hours on the phone with him telling me I'm the only woman in his life.

Take them.

Stop.

Now I understand why he wanted the lighter so badly.

Look...

It's the attempt in Piazza di Spagna.

Right, they never found the gunman.

Reinhardt must have taken them but instead of taking them to the police...

...he tried to sell them to the highest bidder.

But Pamela stole his lighter and he ended up with his face inside a television set.

Well?

What do you think you'll do now? -I don't know...

...but I'm afraid this doesn't end here.

Behind Levi there's someone who wants these negatives at any cost.

I could open an enquiry...

...and get a nice promotion.

Or a knife in your back.

Colt...

I'm scared.

Are you saying a prostitute and a detective can't fight the secret service?

Yes, you're right...

We'll get rid of the body and this lighter, then we'll forget about the whole affair.

I hope they'll forget about us.

Day Four

You get rid of the car...

I'll take care of him.

We'll meet back at mine.

Who do we start with?

With him, or her?

We'll start with him.

We lost him.

Yes, hello. I'd like to know the owner of a white Bellina who likes to follow people.

Tell him I need to speak to him.

It's about a lighter.

Okay, in an hour.

What is it? Something wrong?

No.

You seem strange. -I'm a little tired.

Did you deal with the car? -Yes...

It will take a while before they find it.

And the body?

All taken care of. Here's your key.

I'd better get back to the station.

Are you here on private business or is this an official visit?

You'll decide that.

I was a policeman once. I had great ambitions.

I'm not interested in a career...

I just want to be rich.

I imagine you have the lighter with the negatives?

Let's say I know where to find it...

...and I'll give it to you for a million dollars.

In cash.

Once we make the exchange...

What guarantee do I have you won't send copies to your superiors?

Or, given your weakness for cash, a colleague of mine in the secret service?

One, without the negatives the copies are worthless...

They could be faked.

Two, I'm not interested in dollars generally...

...just one million dollars, in particular.

Three...

You'll have to trust me.

You've got a great career ahead of you.

That's also what I told myself when I came in here.

Where's the lighter? -Where are the dollars?

We've got dollars. -I've got a lighter.

You see, Colt...

This kind of deal is like a game of chess...

Until now you've kept me on the defensive with some shrewd guesswork...

But games can go on for hours...

...and now it's my turn.

You'll get the money when the negatives are in my hands...

You understand, I must be certain you won't sell them to the Americans instead.

After all, it's them who print the dollars.

Exactly...

Then you'll kill me to save your skin.

No. Not me...

To eliminate you I'd just call one of your colleagues in the police.

Right... Like Levi...

The problem is I've already killed him.

Colt...

Be careful...

You want to win this game at any cost.

Be happy with a draw and I assure you you'll get your million dollars.

How much is your word worth?

Enough to get you your money. -Inspector Colt...

Where can we find the lighter?

In a prostitute's handbag.

Happy birthday.

The girls had a collection and we bought you this gift.

Happy birthday, Vizone.

Thank you.

You know, I'm not the greatest boss...

But I want to tell you something...

You girls are marvelous.

Now, enough with the sentimentality.

When you're out there...

Give it everything girls.

And remember, Vizone doesn't want to retire in poverty.

Well, what do I do? Shall I come up with you?

Already?

We just talked about the rent yesterday.

As you wish, my dear.

Calm down, detective.

As soon as the phone rings, I'll give you the money.

Yes.

Everything okay?

Yes. Very well...

I'll do it.

The end of the game.

Did you have to kill the woman?

Every game has it's own rules.

In ours, the first rule is never leave anything on your shoulders.

Hello? -It's me, I've got the money.

Is everything okay? -Yes, everything's okay...

Apart from seeing my body with a knife in it's back.

Hurry, the plane leaves in an hour. I'll meet you in the parking lot.

And now?

After her it's his turn.

Damn him.

You've set a record; you've died three times in 24 hours.

Yes, deep down I was good person.

I thought it was you who wanted to get rid of the body?

And the lighter?

When someone wants to kill you, you have to deal with them.

In my profession that's the first rule.

You've all got so many rules.

What are you thinking about?

Nothing.

We've only known each for four days...

But with all that's happened it feels like four years to me.

Are you bored of me already? -No, what are you saying?

If I was bored I wouldn't be running away with you.

With me or the dollars? -What difference does it make?

I'll take care of the tickets. You hide the car.

To Hong Kong? -Yes.

Thank you. How many suitcases?

Only one.

Hurry, the plane is about to leave. -Thank you.

I'm going to Hong Kong. -Please excuse me.

Hello? Yes...

Yes. I think it's for you.

Hello?

Colt.

Where are you? -I've got one foot in the plane...

Don't try to follow me, I've already told customs to look out for you.

I said to myself, Colt there's a load of rules between you and me...

Why don't you try to find one? And I found one...

I'm leaving alone with all the money...

My low salary has taught me not to be too generous.

Follow my advice Mystere. Keep on making them pay....

...because they're real son's of bitches. Goodbye, honey.

Epilogue

At your service.

Have you already chosen a girl?

No... No.

I'd like her.

Why not?

Peninusla hotel, room 809. -Okay.

Hi.

Feeling deluded? -No...

Let's say I'm surprised.

I was expecting someone with narrower eyes.

She won't come.

The rickshaw drivers are on strike.

You're so kind...

You brought my pistol back.

I'll shoot you.

I understand, you came for the money.

I don't like being messed around.

Usually it's me who does that.

Sit down.

Come on, be brave.

What do you want do? Kill me?

We can always split it.

As usual, you don't understand a thing...

I didn't come for the money.

Why then?

Take your clothes off.

Why?

Because I told you to take your clothes off.

What do you want?

I want to be kissed...

Stupid.

This is room 809. -What can I get you?

I don't know. Some Chinese speciality...

...and lots of champagne.

You take good care of yourself.

I'm a rich man. -I know...

Very rich.

Did you come for me or the money?

You already asked me once...

What difference does it make?

Yes?

Your breakfast, sir.

Come in.

It took me some time to find you...

But in this line of work, all you need is patience.

Always watch your back. Isn't that right, Ivanov?

Good. I see you were paying attention.

Why do you want to kill us?

You've got what you want. -My superiors, perhaps. But not me.

Where's the money?

I see you were paying attention as well. -Sure, why not?

Dollars are better than Roubles.

I'm sorry, my future plans don't involve others...

Where's the money?

Stop.

Subtitled by Merlin...

For Cinemageddon.

www.italianfilmtranslation.com

7th December 2008