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1
00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:44,439
No dad, don't you worry.
2
00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:46,919
Honestly, I've got
it. No you sit down.
3
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:48,159
Cheeky, git.
4
00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:50,400
Take us in, it’s gonna
start getting dark.
5
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:21,960
There you go old man.
6
00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:12,280
Oi, dinner.
7
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,840
My dad, by Charlie Winter.
8
00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:41,519
How old was I when I wrote this?
9
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:46,839
Eight..
10
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:47,840
What you doing?
11
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,040
My dad by Charlie Winter.
12
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:56,839
My dad is a fisherman.
13
00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:59,879
He goes out to sea and
then comes back again.
14
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:02,279
His boat is big, old and red.
15
00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:06,080
But on my birthday we’re painting it
any colour I want, that's what he said.
16
00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,479
When he takes me out,
we have so much fun, but
17
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:13,920
he only takes me out when it's not stormy
and there is sun, when he is fishing,
18
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,839
he sings but doesn't
know, it's a slow
19
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,599
and sad song, full of woe.
20
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,840
So that's my dad,
and his name is John,
21
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,480
he gets up early and not
home till the sun is gone.
22
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,440
But when I'm older,
that's what I want to be,
23
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:32,600
with him together,
out on the sea.
24
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,159
That is terrible.
25
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:37,479
Yeah, well, I love it.
26
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,400
So make sure you put it back up.
27
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,400
We never did paint the boat.
28
00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:46,400
No, that must have
been my ninth,
29
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,520
That must have been
what, for my ninth,
30
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:52,760
tenth birthday?
31
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,319
I said for your 10th birthday.
32
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:58,239
We could paint the boat
whatever colour you wanted.
33
00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,719
We, we even went and got the
paints and everything remember?
34
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,159
Yeah, I think I do.
35
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,759
We went to Breens garden
center, made a day of it.
36
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:09,880
We did, well remembered.
37
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:15,279
Also, when he is fishing,
he sings but doesn't know.
38
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:17,440
It's a slow and sad
song full of woe.
39
00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:20,040
What sort of eight year old
knows what the word woe means?
40
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,040
That was your mum.
41
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,480
She hated that song.
42
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,679
Especially when I sang it.
43
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:29,680
Did she?
44
00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:33,600
Speaking of your mum.
45
00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,920
When are you going
to go see her?
46
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,680
I’ll go see her
soon, I’ll told you.
47
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,759
Just with work and everything.
48
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:45,280
No don’t you be using work as an excuse cus
it’s me that’ll get it in the neck for that.
49
00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,960
Shouldn’t work me so hard then.
50
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:52,400
When's the last
time you saw her?
51
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,800
It’s not me she
wants to see is it.
52
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:12,400
We didn't catch much this week.
53
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:16,400
No
54
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,560
Or last week.
55
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,320
Or last week.
56
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:30,880
Why aren’t you looking at me? c
57
00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:35,000
Are we alright?
58
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:38,200
I mean, money wise.
59
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:42,200
Look, what’s brought this on?
60
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,079
I see how much money's coming
in working at the market.
61
00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,839
I know what a good week is,
I know what a bad week is.
62
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,679
We've had some bad weeks.
63
00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,759
Yes it's been slow, but we're
used to that this time of year.
64
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,479
I was going to say, I don't
mind taking a pay cut.
65
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:59,240
Charlie, we’re fine.
66
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:03,959
All I'm saying is
I'm eighteen now.
67
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:07,119
You can tell me this stuff.
68
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,079
You're eighteen are you?
69
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:11,320
You a big boy now?
70
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,119
You’re not eighteen
for two days.
71
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,599
Till then you’re still
my little, baby boy.
72
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:17,839
Fuck sake, dad.
73
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:21,040
Oi, fucking swear at me.
74
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,079
Remember market’s
miles away tomorrow.
75
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:29,440
So up early.
76
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:39,560
Sorry for swearing.
77
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:41,680
Yeah,
78
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,519
yeah.
79
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,559
I forget how easily
offended old men get.
80
00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:47,360
Get to
81
00:07:47,361 --> 00:07:49,280
Night old man.
82
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:29,920
No, twist round.
83
00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:32,639
Just grab that end.
84
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:36,479
Like I haven’t done
this before, huh?
85
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:39,639
Yeah but you always
do it wrong don’t you.
86
00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,440
Ease over.
87
00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,320
What’s happened here?
88
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,720
Was that you?
89
00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:53,520
It was like that this morning.
90
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,920
It was already like
that, I didn’t do that.
91
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,240
That's fine
92
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,479
Dad you need a new box.
93
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,159
It’s falling apart.
94
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,280
It does the job.
95
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,239
No it doesn't, look.
96
00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,600
It’s older than me dad.
97
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,800
That is older than me
98
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,599
that's falling apart.
99
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,520
Look they're all in there.
100
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:54,240
Won’t be long.
101
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:39,480
Nige.
102
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,680
How many?
103
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:54,080
Eight crab, twelve lobster.
104
00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:01,160
When I said I could take a
handful of what you didn't sell,
105
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:05,160
I meant, five, ten.
106
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,840
Not twenty, thirty.
107
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:13,320
Every week mate.
108
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:24,319
Took your time.
109
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,160
He was playing hard ball.
110
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,280
Dad.
111
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:32,440
Can I drive us home.
112
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,399
Really?
113
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:45,919
Not a fucking chance.
114
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,840
Yeah hilarious.
115
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,480
Oh dear.
116
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,680
Fuck, Mary, it's me.
117
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,400
Mary it’s me.
118
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:41,919
How are you?
119
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,799
Good.
120
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,319
Look I’m sorry for calling.
121
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,919
I’ve been.
122
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,039
I wasn’t sure if you...
123
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:55,440
So, it’s Charlies birthday
tomorrow and I was thinking that
124
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:59,800
after I finished the boat, going to
the pub and buying him his first pint.
125
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:01,679
I was wondering
126
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:05,759
if you maybe want to be there.
127
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:09,359
Obviously it'd be
great to see you.
128
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:13,320
But I totally understand
if you you didn't
129
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,159
Yeah well I’ll
leave it with you.
130
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:20,279
You can let me know.
131
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,280
All right?
132
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:22,399
Okay. All right. I'll.
133
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,080
I'll speak to you later. Bye.
134
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:44,120
Jez money's on the counter.
135
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:52,600
Dad you done?
136
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,160
Yeah cheers.
137
00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,160
Leave em, I’ll do em.
138
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:01,960
You alright?
139
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:03,800
Yeah.
140
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,319
You just offered
to do the dishes.
141
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:08,760
Something's wrong.
142
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:10,279
It's your birthday tomorrow.
143
00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:11,519
Thought I'd be nice.
144
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:12,680
Yeah, what d’you get me?
145
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,120
Doing the dishes aren’t I..
146
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,119
You dickhead.
147
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,759
Oi, what about told you
about swearing at me.
148
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,280
To not fucking do it.
149
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,200
Exactly.
150
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:23,760
Night.
151
00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:25,040
Night.
152
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,600
You coming to work today or...
153
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,280
Hysterical.
154
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,240
Hey.
155
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:10,120
I was in the shed last night,
tidying up a few things
156
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:15,079
and I found this.
157
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,800
This is the knife
when you were six
158
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:20,799
and you carved into the side
159
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:24,239
of the stern of my
boat just down there.
160
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,840
Daddys boat
161
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,959
I remember, it’s still there.
162
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,680
After I caught you, I
took it away from you
163
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:36,919
for about six months.
164
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,039
You didn't shut up
about this knife.
165
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,680
It even got you in
trouble at school.
166
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:43,600
One Christmas.
167
00:19:43,601 --> 00:19:45,641
You wrote a letter to santa
asking him for a knife.
168
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,120
That was an interesting
phonecall with your teacher.
169
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,680
Well after that your
mum suggested well
170
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,440
told me
171
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,600
to put this in the
shed so you can find it
172
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:03,360
and I did, I just
forgot about it.
173
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,960
And I saw it there last night
174
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:09,520
and I thought
175
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:14,640
Happy birthday.
176
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,880
You got my eighteenth
birthday present
177
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:25,600
from the shed
178
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,599
I love it, thanks.
179
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:31,600
Right
180
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:33,679
What say we eat
181
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:34,999
And we call it a day.
182
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,559
Sounds good.
183
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,199
You know what else sounds good
184
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,400
Pub.
185
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:02,800
There’s Ron.
186
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,400
Go and grab a seat,
I’ll get us some drinks.
187
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:10,919
Hello, stranger.
188
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,519
I almost forgot
what you look like.
189
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:17,240
And, handsome as ever.
190
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:18,880
You look like you need a drink.
191
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,520
Yeah I do, make it two though.
192
00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:26,039
Two, double parking
not like you.
193
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:28,360
Charlie's eighteenth today.
194
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:32,520
Marge, add one more
to those please.
195
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,120
I wasn't sure you'd make it
196
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:38,039
Not seen you in a while.
197
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:39,959
Today was always
going to happen.
198
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,679
I wasn't sure if you
were gonna be here.
199
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,519
Well one, I
practically live here.
200
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:45,360
He's not wrong.
201
00:21:45,361 --> 00:21:46,480
And two...
202
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:48,920
Oi.
203
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:51,120
And two
204
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:54,159
I wouldn't miss Charlies
birthday for the world mate.
205
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:55,360
Especially his eigteenth.
206
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,040
You speak to Mary.
207
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,799
Yeah well, I spoke to her,
208
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,600
you know.
209
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,359
Oh I'll get these.
210
00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:07,240
No, no I’ll get em.
211
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:07,680
No.
212
00:22:07,681 --> 00:22:08,719
At least let me get Charlies.
213
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:10,440
John.
214
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:11,560
Please
215
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:14,040
let me buy my godson
his first pint.
216
00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:20,240
Sure, thanks.
217
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:22,720
Now.
218
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:24,799
I'm not sure if the others
219
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,400
have remembered that
it's Charlies birthday.
220
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:31,519
Well they haven’t said anything, but I wasn't
sure whether or not he wanted to keep it quiet.
221
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,879
No, no it's fine he won't mind.
222
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,800
You sure?
223
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:42,920
As long as you
don't start singing
224
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:45,799
Ron
225
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:46,640
Oi oi.
226
00:22:46,641 --> 00:22:48,119
Here he fucking is.
227
00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:49,439
All right, all right.
228
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:50,559
Let’s have it then.
229
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:53,519
Here, how’s it you got less hair this
time than the last time I saw you.
230
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,519
And you had fuck all then.
231
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:56,959
Oh, Tucks.
232
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,039
See you got back in.
233
00:22:58,040 --> 00:22:58,920
Didn't see your boat.
234
00:22:58,921 --> 00:23:01,079
Got in about an hour ago.
235
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,080
Hang on.
236
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:03,000
There it is.
237
00:23:03,001 --> 00:23:05,639
It's behind your ears.
238
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:07,840
Fucking hysterical
as always mate.
239
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,080
Eh
240
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:11,920
That’s from Ron.
241
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:13,919
Ron.
242
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:14,960
Ron thanks.
243
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,200
Ron, thanks.
244
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:21,040
My absolute pleasure.
245
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,680
Fellas, fellas
everyone got a drink.
246
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:27,640
Urm.
247
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,480
A very special day today
248
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,641
Now he’s kept quiet so I'm not sure
what he wants everyone to know but
249
00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:39,279
today's our Charlie's
eighteenth birthday.
250
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,840
Now I know I've not done a
lot right in my life, but...
251
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:45,720
A lot of mistakes.
252
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,840
But 18 years ago.
253
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:51,919
John asked me to be
Charlie's godfather.
254
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,600
No matter what happens,
I'll always be there.
255
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:56,640
John,
256
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,199
thank you for inviting me
to be part of your family.
257
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:03,720
It is, and it will
always be my biggest
258
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,239
and my proudest responsibility,
259
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,239
although it's probably not the best
night to be talking about responsibility
260
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:14,320
as we’re all about to get
absolutely fucking hammered.
261
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:16,720
But first.
262
00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:18,320
But first
263
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,519
he's going to sing, isn't he?
264
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,879
Told him not to.
265
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,080
But first,
266
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:27,480
please join me
267
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,759
for Charlie
268
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,040
Charlie
269
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:38,280
Sunset and Evening Star
270
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,480
and one clear call for me
271
00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:46,320
and may there be no
moaning of the bar
272
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:50,240
when I put out to see
273
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:55,720
when I put out to sea.
274
00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:01,479
When I put out to sea.
275
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:06,360
And may there be no
moaning of the bar
276
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:12,679
when I put out to sea.
277
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:16,759
Twilight and evening bell
278
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:20,400
And after that the dark
279
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:25,480
And may there be no
sadness of farewell
280
00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:29,280
when I embark
281
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:35,400
when I embark
282
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:40,160
when I embark
283
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:46,160
And may there be no
sadness of farewell
284
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:50,880
When I embark.
285
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,959
Now let’s get fucking
pissed, yes please Margaret
286
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:59,120
Come on Margaret, you slag.
287
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:02,320
Shit you’re heavy.
288
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:06,399
What d’you mean,
I'm carrying you?
289
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:07,920
Oh, yeah.
290
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:25,039
Do you know the muffin man,
the muffin man, the muffin man.
291
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:26,879
What you singing that for?
292
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:30,039
That was your favorite
song as a kid.
293
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:31,120
No it wasn’t.
294
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,400
Well what was it then.
295
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,440
What do we do with
the drunken sailor.
296
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:41,440
What do we do with
the drunken sailor.
297
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,440
What do we do with
the drunken sailor.
298
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:45,759
Early in the morning.
299
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:47,400
Way hay and up she rises.
300
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,320
Way hay and up she rises.
301
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:51,039
Way hay and up she rises.
302
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,560
Early in the morning.
303
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:02,080
Oh I should definitely
not have done that.
304
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,200
Get me to the stairs.
305
00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:23,160
How you feeling?
306
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,400
Rooms spinning
307
00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:29,640
Well don’t close your eyes
it’ll just make it worse.
308
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,040
Hey.
309
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:36,080
Happy birthday.
310
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:43,319
Oi, you alright?
311
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:45,240
Yeah.
312
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,640
Let me get you some water.
313
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,480
You said mum was coming?
314
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,760
Well I called her.
315
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,039
Told her we were gonna be there.
316
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:26,720
But don’t think I told her what
time we were gonna be there.
317
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:29,920
Should’ve called her
today before we went out.
318
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,480
She doesn't want
to see me does she.
319
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:38,040
What do you mean?
320
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,480
I haven’t seen her in ages.
321
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:48,920
Does she resent me or
something for living with you
322
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:54,239
Anytime we plan to do something.
323
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:55,120
Something happens.
324
00:28:55,121 --> 00:28:58,680
It's just.
325
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,159
Just feels like
she’s forgotten me.
326
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:07,559
What are you talking about.
327
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,279
Oi.
328
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:10,360
Hey.
329
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,640
Your mum loves you.
330
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:19,680
It's me.
331
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:24,200
She wasn't there
tonight because of me.
332
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:29,880
Your mum has not
been in that pub
333
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:32,920
for a very long time.
334
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:37,960
We used to go
there all the time.
335
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,520
We had our first date in there.
336
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:48,200
She's not gonna want to go back in
there I shouldn't have asked it was
337
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:51,880
stupid.
338
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,560
Can I ask you something
339
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:01,680
and I want the truth
340
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:05,560
What happened
341
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:07,680
Between you and mum.
342
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,680
Literally feels like
one day she just left
343
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:17,720
just took off.
344
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:19,960
It's just
345
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:22,680
it’s been years.
346
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:26,760
I don't even know how
long you never talk about.
347
00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:29,320
She moved out.
348
00:30:29,321 --> 00:30:31,559
Didn't take a single
thing with her.
349
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:32,719
All her stuffs still here.
350
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:34,760
That's not normal Dad
351
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:36,839
I can count on one hand
the amount of times
352
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,080
She’s been back here.
353
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:43,520
So I'm just asking
354
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:47,840
what happened.
355
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,560
I don't know what
you want me to say.
356
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:07,760
Your mum and I
357
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,480
years ago, just
358
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:18,000
drifted apart, it happens.
359
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:21,160
Dad, please.
360
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:22,680
It was years ago.
361
00:31:22,681 --> 00:31:23,799
You were young.
362
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:26,880
You would have remembered
it completely different
363
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:29,280
Look, yes.
364
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:31,800
I loved your, Mum.
365
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:34,759
I still love your mum.
366
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,840
I always will.
367
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:44,240
What we went through.
368
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:48,160
Couldn’t get it back.
369
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:54,040
You just said that it felt
like she just decided to leave.
370
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:58,040
No
371
00:31:58,680 --> 00:31:59,640
We have problems
372
00:31:59,641 --> 00:32:02,359
and we tried to fix
them for two years.
373
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:03,479
Two years
374
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,040
We tried.
375
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,800
But we couldn’t
376
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:15,799
just too much.
377
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:16,560
What was too much?
378
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:17,160
It's just.
379
00:32:17,161 --> 00:32:20,040
Everything was too much.
380
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:22,119
The tension,
381
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:24,760
and strain on the
relationship was
382
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,919
just building up.
383
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:28,600
It wasn't healthy.
384
00:32:28,601 --> 00:32:32,240
We had to be honest.
385
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:40,679
So she moved out.
386
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:43,919
She couldn't stay here.
387
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:48,840
Too many memories.
388
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:53,200
Why now?
389
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,199
Why you asking about this now?
390
00:32:57,200 --> 00:33:02,320
I don't know dad maybe because I'm drunk from
drinking eight pints of what tasted like piss.
391
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:05,159
I'm sorry if that
sounds ungrateful.
392
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:06,320
But what
393
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:11,559
It’s stupid.
394
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:14,520
No, what is it?
395
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:18,000
Not once tonight.
396
00:33:18,001 --> 00:33:20,161
Did you ask me if I actually
liked what I was drinking?
397
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,400
I know it's silly, but you
never ask me what I want.
398
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:25,319
Well if you didn’t like it you
should have said something.
399
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,599
It’s not just the
drink, it’s everything.
400
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:29,599
It's here. It's work.
401
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:30,959
I feel like it's
the only place I go.
402
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:31,560
I just.
403
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:35,040
I feel trapped.
404
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,520
Not once have you ever asked
me what I want in life.
405
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:39,880
Have you?
406
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,400
What do I want to do?
407
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,680
You just assume that I'm
going to be with you here.
408
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:48,960
And that's it.
409
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:52,400
What do you mean?
410
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,760
What are you going to do
if I'm not hear anymore?
411
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:00,880
What you want dad?
412
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:03,640
We can't do this forever.
413
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:04,919
We’re struggling as it is
414
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:06,079
You’re gonna have to
let me go at some point.
415
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:08,959
No, where's this come from?
416
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:11,319
Yeah, you're right.
417
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:13,639
Everyday is the same.
418
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,439
I get to go fishing with my son.
419
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,919
And it is fucking paradise.
420
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:19,399
It's everything I want.
421
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:20,760
There you go.
Everything you want.
422
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,000
So what do you want?
423
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:32,959
You need to tell me or I
424
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,519
I can't do anything about it.
425
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:39,119
You're right. We, we have
our up and down days.
426
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:44,080
But you know what gets me
through those down days? You.
427
00:34:45,240 --> 00:34:48,439
The fact is, every day I get
to go to sea with my son,
428
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:52,600
and that is everything.
429
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:58,440
But what I'm hearing is that
you don’t feel the same.
430
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:01,240
What about the poem?
431
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:03,400
Every morning.
432
00:35:03,401 --> 00:35:05,079
I read that before I go to work.
433
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:10,879
I know every verse,
every line, every word,
434
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:13,200
and that final verse
435
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:16,680
But when I'm older.
436
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:19,040
That's why I want to be
437
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:20,640
with him
438
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:23,839
together.
439
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:26,240
Out on the sea.
440
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:30,520
We’re doing it.
441
00:35:31,240 --> 00:35:35,880
Dad, I wrote that when
I was eight years old.
442
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:44,639
So what are you saying?
443
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:47,160
Dad, I love what we do,
444
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,479
I love fishing and I
love doing it with you.
445
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:51,480
But.
446
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:04,439
I need to go to bed.
447
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:08,360
Charlie.
448
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,480
Thought I’d come down
and give it a once over.
449
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,840
Don't you dare.
450
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:14,640
You did go absolutely
mental though.
451
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:17,080
I did.
452
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:21,200
How’s your head?
453
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,640
Yeah, fine.
454
00:38:24,720 --> 00:38:26,919
There was a time I was going
to rename her Daddy's boat.
455
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:28,960
But your mum wouldn’t
456
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:35,960
say daddy’s boat didn't
really sit well with her
457
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:43,319
I am sorry about last night.
458
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:49,680
No don’t, you made
a lot of sense.
459
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:59,799
So going out without me.
460
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:03,000
Just gonna go out and check a
couple of pots, nothing much.
461
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:06,119
Thought you might
be feeling rough.
462
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:10,679
Thought I’d let
you sleep it off.
463
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:12,879
But now you’re here, do you
actually want to do some work?
464
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:14,199
Oh, here we go.
465
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,359
Slave driving already?
466
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:20,120
Seriously though, go
and unhook the winch.
467
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:13,680
I’ll go set up the winch.
468
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:24,600
John?
469
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:35,479
Mary.
470
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:36,480
She's looking good.
471
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:41,440
Yeah, she still floats.
472
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:49,400
I'm sorry I didn't
come last night.
473
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:53,520
Yeah, it was good.
474
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:58,359
The fellas were all there.
475
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:04,039
You know, it was good.
476
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:09,799
That's actually why I want you to
come down and see you. Wanted to talk.
477
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:13,119
I bumped into Ron earlier, and
478
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:15,919
he said he hadn't seen
you in a while and
479
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:18,119
you weren't quite yourself.
480
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:21,599
A bit strange.
481
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:24,000
Yeah, well, we haven't
seen each other in a while.
482
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:26,120
It was a bit strange
483
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:27,959
or distant.
484
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:30,559
Withdrawn, he said.
485
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:35,519
You kept going off and
talking to Charlie.
486
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:37,640
Well, I've noticed it
myself for a while now.
487
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:42,240
But I didn’t think it was...
488
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:46,760
I never thought
489
00:41:46,761 --> 00:41:51,680
I'd be having this
conversation with you again.
490
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:56,879
You were always the strong one.
491
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:58,640
What we went through,
492
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:04,839
you were the one that
got me through it.
493
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:12,559
It's been nearly eight years.
494
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:18,320
John, I'm so sorry to ask
you this but, Charlie.
495
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,080
What happened to him?
496
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:28,479
John?
497
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:31,600
Where's Charlie?
498
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:46,639
He’s right there, Mary.
499
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:51,680
He’s by the boat.
500
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:54,720
No, John.
501
00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:58,480
I can see him, Mary.
502
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:02,999
He’s right there.
503
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:05,160
He’s beautiful.
504
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:06,280
No, John.
505
00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:09,920
Our son Charlie
506
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,439
died.
507
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:16,079
Charlie died almost
508
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:20,079
eight years ago.
509
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:21,080
Mary,
510
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:29,480
please.
511
00:43:32,720 --> 00:43:33,800
He's gone.
512
00:43:35,720 --> 00:43:36,720
He's gone.
513
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,120
He never left for me, Mary.
514
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:49,920
I never let him.
515
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:54,320
He’s always been here.
516
00:43:57,800 --> 00:43:58,800
Yeah,
517
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:01,640
how do you do it?
518
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:04,640
I haven't.
519
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:09,479
I've learned to live with it.
520
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:15,839
Bu, there will always be a
huge hole that can't be filled.
521
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:17,960
And that's the tough part.
522
00:44:18,720 --> 00:44:21,199
It's realizing that
523
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:25,600
and understanding it.
524
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:29,520
I'm so sorry.
525
00:44:32,720 --> 00:44:36,719
Let me help you.
526
00:44:36,720 --> 00:44:39,639
You still trust me?
527
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:42,759
Of course.
528
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:43,760
Always.
529
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:49,280
Next week,
530
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:51,759
I'm taking you to the same place
531
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:54,639
that I went to for three years.
532
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:55,320
It's a meeting
533
00:44:55,321 --> 00:44:58,920
with a group of people that have all
been through something similar to us.
534
00:45:00,240 --> 00:45:01,919
But you have to talk like
we're doing now, okay?
535
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:03,679
Mary.
536
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:05,839
Oh no, promise me John.
537
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:08,199
Please.
538
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:11,240
You deserve this closure.
539
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:14,999
We deserve this closure.
540
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:21,280
And so does Charlie.
541
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:28,960
I’ll be right there with you.
542
00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:35,679
So next I'd like to
welcome a new face.
543
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:38,120
This is John.
544
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:39,599
See you don't have to.
545
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:42,279
John, but if you want to, you
could stand up and come and tell us
546
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:46,680
a little bit about
yourself, that’ll be good.
547
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:55,760
Uhh hi, urm
548
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:57,719
my name's John.
549
00:46:57,720 --> 00:47:01,200
This is my first time here.
550
00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:04,520
My wife,
551
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:08,720
Ex-wife sorry,
recommended that I come.
552
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:11,920
Yeah, it was a
553
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:16,840
It was really tough coming
through those doors.
554
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:19,560
She actually had to
push me in the end.
555
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:26,560
I don't really know
what to expect.
556
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:30,400
I don’t really know
what you want me to say?
557
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:34,239
So what others have
found helpful in past is
558
00:47:34,240 --> 00:47:37,159
That I’ve asked them questions
to kind of start them off.
559
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:40,480
And then we can maybe get to understand
you and your story a bit better.
560
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:46,359
Yeah, sure, sure.
561
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:48,919
So I'll start by saying that
562
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:51,639
everyone's here because we all
experience something that no parent
563
00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:57,479
should experience,
a loss of a child.
564
00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:00,360
It's a cliche and I
hate saying it, but
565
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,239
this is a safe space,
566
00:48:03,240 --> 00:48:06,080
a place for you to share, but only
what you're comfortable sharing.
567
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,600
Feel free to stop and
sit down at any time.
568
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:14,199
Okay, thanks.
569
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:17,320
So what was the
name of your child?
570
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:21,080
Uh. Sorry.
571
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:23,600
I know it must be strange.
572
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:28,119
It's fine.
573
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:30,959
Charlie.
574
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:32,759
Charlie,
575
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:36,079
it's a lovely name.
576
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:39,800
And how long ago did
you lose Charlie?
577
00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:45,839
Eight years.
578
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,479
It’s almost eight
years. Eight years.
579
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:51,480
Next month, December.
580
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:56,879
And what age were they
when they passed away?
581
00:48:56,880 --> 00:49:00,960
Ten, ten years old.
582
00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:07,039
He was eighteen last week.
583
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:10,240
And John, if you're comfortable,
584
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:13,599
could you tell us what happened,
585
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:14,959
how Charlie passed away?
586
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:16,560
I don't know if I
587
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:22,200
just have only
588
00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:23,920
Talked about it.
589
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:26,280
What one person? Mary
590
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:30,640
And that was five,
six years ago.
591
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,959
John that's completely
understandable.
592
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:36,279
Most people don't manage
to discuss and explain
593
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:39,600
their experience in
the first session.
594
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:40,600
The main thing
595
00:49:40,601 --> 00:49:43,960
I want you to take
from today is that
596
00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:47,200
I know you might
feel alone in this.
597
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:49,600
You feel
598
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:52,600
distant and separated
from the world,
599
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:54,360
but you're not
600
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:58,559
you're not alone.
601
00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:00,840
Everyone in this room
has their own story,
602
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:05,039
their own traumatic experience
603
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:07,919
that they've been through.
604
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:11,440
And I'm not going to sit here and
say that we understand how you feel,
605
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:14,080
because we don't
606
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:17,519
none of us do.
607
00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:21,119
Everyone is different
and we all experience
608
00:50:21,120 --> 00:50:25,559
and deal with grief
in our own unique way.
609
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:27,920
No one will ever understand
you or how you feel
610
00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:32,920
But you you can help
us try and understand,
611
00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:38,360
but only if and
when you're ready.
612
00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:55,239
I still love my wife.
613
00:50:55,240 --> 00:50:56,999
I haven't stopped loving her.
614
00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:00,600
I always will.
615
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:06,360
But it's not the same.
616
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:09,240
How can it be after that?
617
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:12,280
Even the little things
618
00:51:13,240 --> 00:51:15,359
waking up in the morning,
going downstairs,
619
00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:17,080
making a cup of tea
620
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,039
just wasn't the same
as our little boy.
621
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:23,480
Wasn't there any more.
622
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:28,680
It’s not the fault
of either person.
623
00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:32,480
How can two people
go through so much
624
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:36,559
create the most beautiful
thing in the world,
625
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:39,520
Make memories that will
last a lifetime and then
626
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:42,999
Like that
627
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,040
Gone
628
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:48,960
But they haven't
really gone have they.
629
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:53,879
That love
630
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:57,759
that turns into pain.
631
00:51:57,760 --> 00:52:01,080
Those memories that
would last a lifetime
632
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:06,719
Apart of you wishes,
they didn't even exist.
633
00:52:06,720 --> 00:52:09,080
Because when you
think about them,
634
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:12,959
It makes you realise
what isn't there anymore.
635
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:16,959
And what isn’t there anymore was the
most beautiful thing in the world?
636
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:21,879
Our son Charlie.
637
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:24,719
How can two people
go through that
638
00:52:24,720 --> 00:52:28,040
and live normally?
639
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,959
Our son Charlie
640
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:36,200
passed away eight
years ago at sea.
641
00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:42,959
I'm a fisherman.
642
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:46,319
We have our boat.
643
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:48,879
I didn't take him out much
644
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:51,959
But one weekend I
did take him out
645
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:53,999
was a normal day, I
never took him out
646
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:57,360
when the weather was
bad, it wasn't bad.
647
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:01,280
I just.
648
00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:07,160
It was my fault.
649
00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:10,560
It was my fault.
650
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:16,879
The worst thing
somebody can say to me
651
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:21,839
is, it wasn't your fault.
652
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:26,999
It was an accident.
653
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:31,200
It was my fault.
654
00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:36,559
We were out fishing.
655
00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:40,079
Nothing dangerous.
656
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:43,200
And he got his line stuck.
657
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:51,040
Dad, my rods stuck
658
00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:53,759
What?
659
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:55,639
Dad
660
00:53:55,640 --> 00:53:58,760
Charlie don’t cast off yet.
661
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:05,279
He didn't respond.
662
00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:08,799
I didn't hear anything.
663
00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:11,160
So I went out on deck
664
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:18,120
Charlie, Charlie,
665
00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:21,560
Charlie
666
00:54:22,280 --> 00:54:23,640
Charlie
667
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:26,360
Charlie
668
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:33,999
May day, may day,
this is the Hutchison
669
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:36,199
I need immediate
coastguard response
670
00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:38,600
Child over board, I
repeat child over board
671
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:41,159
May day, may day,
this is the Hutchison
672
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:45,360
May day received, this is
coastguard what is your location?
673
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:54,800
49.600 North, 59.23 West. Hurry.
674
00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:59,560
He was gone.
675
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:05,919
So when people say to
me, it wasn't your fault,
676
00:55:05,920 --> 00:55:11,200
I don't know what the fuck
they're talking about.
677
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:17,880
And he was never found.
678
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:23,560
We couldn't even say
goodbye to him properly.
679
00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:27,039
And I have taken that from you.
680
00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:28,199
Mary, I'm sorry.
681
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:33,199
I am so sorry.
682
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:40,040
And now all we have to remember
him by is a fucking bench.
683
00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:48,040
So I remembered in my own way.
684
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:56,399
For the past eight
years, Charlie has stayed
685
00:55:56,400 --> 00:55:59,119
with me.
686
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:02,480
He's been by my side throughout
687
00:56:03,720 --> 00:56:07,919
since he was ten.
688
00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:10,840
He's been with me
the entire time
689
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:12,360
I've lived with him.
690
00:56:13,440 --> 00:56:14,760
Talk to him,
691
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:17,239
played with him, woke him up.
692
00:56:17,240 --> 00:56:20,119
Taught him,
693
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:25,919
argued with him, it became real,
694
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:30,199
It was real.
695
00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:35,040
It’s been eight years it's
been my way of coping.
696
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:39,800
And now he's eighteen.
697
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:43,560
Last week we argued
698
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:46,839
he was trying to tell me
699
00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:49,599
That I couldn't keep
him there forever.
700
00:56:49,600 --> 00:56:54,959
I didn't know what
he meant at the time.
701
00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:58,200
Now I do.
702
00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:05,000
I promise to let you go.
703
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:23,040
It's a poem
704
00:57:24,640 --> 00:57:27,160
Charlie wrote tit
when he was eight.
705
00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:30,879
It's about me.
706
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:37,560
It’s called ‘My Dad’,
he wrote it for school.
707
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:41,999
I have it up on my wall
next to the front door.
708
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:46,680
I read it every morning
before I go to work.
709
00:57:48,920 --> 00:57:52,639
You know what
710
00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:57,240
I think he’d really appreciate it
if I read it to you all right now.
711
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:03,559
Is that all right?
712
00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:09,440
Of course.
713
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:16,360
My Dad by Charlie Winter.
714
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:19,679
I have to say it like that.
715
00:58:19,680 --> 00:58:22,319
Whenever Charlie read it, he
always said the full title
716
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:24,520
and his name
717
00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:30,600
My Dad
718
00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:35,159
by Charlie Winter.
719
00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:37,999
My dad's a fisherman.
720
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:39,799
He goes out to sea
721
00:58:39,800 --> 00:58:43,959
and then comes back again.
722
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:46,560
His boat is big, old and red,
723
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:49,079
but on my birthday
724
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:51,359
we're painting it
any colour I want.
725
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:54,120
That's what he said
726
00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:57,400
when he takes me out.
727
00:58:58,040 --> 00:59:01,319
We have so much fun.
728
00:59:01,320 --> 00:59:03,960
But he only takes me
out when it's not stormy
729
00:59:04,680 --> 00:59:08,599
and there is sun
730
00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:11,159
When he is fishing, he sings but
731
00:59:11,160 --> 00:59:13,679
doesn't know.
732
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:16,439
It's a slow and sad song.
733
00:59:16,440 --> 00:59:20,599
Full of woe.
734
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:22,760
He talks about the sea
735
00:59:23,040 --> 00:59:24,720
and calls it her,
736
00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:26,999
but mum says that's fine
737
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:32,119
so it doesn't cause a stir.
738
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:33,840
So that's my dad.
739
00:59:34,520 --> 00:59:36,200
And his name is John.
740
00:59:37,120 --> 00:59:38,920
He gets up early
741
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:44,319
and not home, till
the sun has gone
742
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:49,800
But when I'm older.
743
00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:58,640
But when I'm older,
that's what I want to be.
744
00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:01,439
With him.
745
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:03,919
Together.
746
01:00:03,920 --> 01:00:08,640
Out on the sea.
747
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:18,000
What colour did he choose?
748
01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:20,560
Sorry in the
749
01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:22,719
in the poem Charlie said he
was going to paint the boat
750
01:00:22,720 --> 01:00:24,400
any colour he wanted.
751
01:00:25,440 --> 01:00:29,440
What colour did he choose?
752
01:04:10,920 --> 01:04:15,759
Blue.
753
01:04:15,760 --> 01:04:19,360
He chose Blue.
50096
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