Original subtitles

The overworld, the biggest sandbox in the universe, is full of epic tales.

Millions and billions of them.

Well, guess what? This one is all mine.

My name is Steve, and as a child, I yearn for the mines.

But it didn't really work out.

Go on! Get out of here!

So I did a terrible thing.

I grew up.

Yep, that's me. Same shirt, same pants.

The only thing missing was my soul.

What was I doing with my life? I wasn't meant to sell doorknobs.

And then one day, I remembered something.

Yeah!

That's right! The mines!

So I geared up to dig deeper and find out what I'd been missing.

And this time, I was unstoppable.

Epic!

My moment had finally come. I could just taste the adventure.

So I mined my brains out until I found two mysterious artifacts.

This thingy and that cool thingy.

And when I put those two thingies together, you guessed it!

It opened a portal to another world!

The outer world!

This place blew my mind.

I'd never seen anything like it.

Wow!

Turns out it was the place I'd been looking for my whole life.

A world where anything you can imagine, you can create.

This is my first house.

My second house.

And my third house made entirely of sheep's wool.

Cows!

Life was good.

Except at night, which happens about every 20 minutes.

There was times like these I wished I had a friend.

And then I heard it.

The howl of companionship.

Actually, it was a wolf that wanted to eat me.

So I tamed him with a crusty femur bone.

Yeah!

Atta boy!

Dennis, be like a scratchy scratch on a nurice.

Dennis and I were inseparable.

We did everything together.

Woo hoo!

We built endless masterpieces.

The more I built, the better I got.

Dennis, check it out!

Welcome to Steve's!

Lucky for me, Candace loved to party.

And cows!

Life was perfect.

And the years simply flew by.

Until one day I came across some strange ruins.

And a conveniently placed chest.

Flint and steel.

Dennis!

Turns out, we just opened a portal to a totally new dimension.

The Nether.

There was no joy or creativity at all.

Just a mindless lust for gold.

Dennis!

These piglin brutes had mined this realm into oblivion.

Led by Mount Gosha, the evil piglin sorceress who ruled the place.

Who are you and why are you so round?

Leave the dark!

Take me instead.

No thanks.

I'll take both of you in that orb.

Let's get one thing straight.

Where I come from, we call this a cube.

Susan!

Mount Gosha had finally got what she'd always wanted.

The orb of dominance.

The most powerful cube-shaped orb in the entire universe.

Listen up, you pigs!

With this orb, I will pillage the overworld and all that's gold will be ours!

I couldn't let this happen.

The overworld had saved me and now I had to try to save it.

We have to stop her, Dennis.

So we escaped and stole back the orb.

The roundling got away!

Find him and bring me that orb!

Hurry, Dennis.

Take this to Earth.

Follow my set to 149 Hollyoath Drive.

You got that, boy?

Good boy.

You're the last hope for this world.

Now run!

Go, boy!

Run, free up, maggot!

You got this, Dennis!

I love you!

Help!

Run!

Dennis was a hero that day.

He ran like the wind.

I didn't know if I'd ever see him again, but we had a world to save.

So he ran all the way back to my house on

Earth and hid the most powerful object in existence

under my waterbed.

As long as the orb stays hidden, the overworld will be safe.

Wait a second.

Putting it under my waterbed is a horrible plan.

In the late 1980s, Garrett Garrison took the gaming world by storm,

becoming the undisputed champion of the hit arcade game,

"Hunk City Rampage."

His mastery of this two-player co-op shocked the world.

His effective use of the garbage toss move

earned him the nickname "The Garbage Man."

Pretty soon, he became the envy of the gaming

world after landing a lucrative deal with Sizzler.

Yeah, baby!

Garbage Man!

Yeah, baby!

One thing's for sure.

Yeah!

This kid had it all.

Yeah!

Time to take out the trash!

Yeah!

Mmm!

Boof!

Garrett, the garbage man, Garrison?

No autographs.

Have a nice day.

No.

Whoo!

Yeah!

Super cool!

Garrett, the garbage man, what do we owe this pleasure?

Pleasure?

Think I come to storage auctions for fun?

I'm a business man, Darrell, an investor.

Well, I'm about to shuffle some coal into your chichi trade.

You're gonna love this next unit.

It's got a water bin.

It's got some pickaxes.

It's got a huge can of mixed nuts.

It's got an array of unisex turquoise blouses.

That sounds terrible.

I think it's also got a 1978 Atari Cosmos.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1978 Atari Cosmos.

That's why they say they're here.

Those things are worth the frickin' fortune.

Heck, yeah, they are.

Bro, if you make this happen for me, I will strongly consider hanging out with you.

You serious, bro?

Yep.

Two big buffaloes like us out there in the wild.

We're in unisex turquoise blouses.

Oh, boy, that's gonna cause a commotion.

The ladies aren't gonna know why.

Listen, if you can keep the hammer press under on me,

I'll make all your weird fanboy dreams come true, okay?

Two loose cannons.

We're in turquoise blouses.

Yep.

Let's do it.

Yeah, we got $500.

$500 over here.

We got $500.

We got $600.

Do we have $600?

We got $600 over here.

I'll give you $700.

We got $700.

We got $700 here.

We got $800 over here.

We got $850.

Do we hear $850?

Do we hear $850 over here?

Do we hear any more?

Do we hear 900?

900 is going once.

900 going twice.

And 900 going three times and sold to

hometown hero Garrett the garbage man Garrison for

$900.

I wouldn't cash that for about six months.

I'm the papa.

Cosmis.

Whoo!

There.

Where is it?

I'm sorry.

I didn't check the box.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

That does not mean you can trash this unit!

I'm up against it, man. I'm up against it. My store, my wrists aren't what they used to be.

I just, I need to win, man.

I need, I need to win.

When are you going to stop looking for treasure inside a storage unit and recognize that the

real treasure is inside your heart? Let's roll, everyone.

This man has no respect for the storage community.

Now.

I'm all gone to the sound of pouring rain.

But all it says is you cry back on my name.

I'm all gone to the sound of pouring rain. But all it says is you cry back on my name.

I'm all gone to the sound of pouring rain.

What the hell did I do?

I'm all gone to the sound of pouring rain.

Oh no!

Oh man!

What the frick?

Look, Chugless was not my first choice

either, but it was Mom's dying wish for us to live

here.

Or at least that's how I interpreted it.

Yeah, I read something online.

This place sucks.

Anyways, rent is super low and I've got a

full-time gig here, so it's not really an offer we're

going to turn down right now.

Yeah, I get it.

Look, I think you're really going to like it here.

Oh, what's going on with that dude?

Oh my gosh, Henry, we're in Chugless.

Say hi to Toggy the Jib.

Alright, this is the new neighborhood.

When was this house built?

It's so nice to meet you.

Yeah, nice to meet you.

Your new bosses sent you this.

Oh.

Yeah, people love working at a potato chip factory.

Yeah, well I'm running their socials for a little bit.

I said I'd get their follower count past 75.

Nice!

You must be Henry.

Nice to meet you, I'm Don.

Hi, why is there an alpaca hanging out of your car?

Well, real estate's not my only hustle.

I also do some mobile zoo stuff on the side.

And who? I got a run. Call me if you need anything.

Also, I'm really sorry about your mom.

She's really brave what you're doing.

I hope you know that.

Thank you.

Chill out, man, I'm coming.

Yeah, please.

Henry! Breakfast is ready!

I'm coming!

Check it out.

I made you mom's signature tater tot breakfast pizza.

So you can hand out slices on your first day?

I thought you wanted me to seem normal.

I do! I'm just trying to help you out.

I got you some body spray.

Signature scents are huge here.

Velvet mischief?

You're gonna wanna spray it and then walk into it. Don't be too direct.

It's really powerful.

Okay.

Love you.

Love you too.

It smells like banana bread and poo.

Your store's running cool.

Yeah, I know. Looking for anything in particular?

No, I'm just checking some stuff out.

Non-committal. Classic loser mentality. I can help.

Starting a mentorship program for people who wanna win at the game of life.

50 bucks an hour.

Cool. How do you actually win at life?

That's literally the answer I charge money for.

Tots. It's with the breakfast pizza.

My sister made it. I'm supposed to hand out slices at school to make friends.

A little desperate for day one, don't you think?

I also noticed that you're wearing velvet mischief.

It's a wonderful cologne.

And I strongly believe that every young man should have his own signature scent.

I didn't think I applied very much.

Listen, I'm gonna give you a hot garbage dip.

Friendship is like a puzzle.

Sometimes you think you need lots of pieces to be cool.

And sometimes it's just one piece to be cool.

And people will be like, "That's not a puzzle. That's a picture."

And they have a right to speak, too. Any questions?

Yeah, quite a few, actually.

Listen, kid, the point is, there's no "I" in team.

But there are two in winning.

Okay, well, I gotta go to school.

Whatever, nerd. Just leave the pizza.

All right. Let's put this name tag on.

Uh, why does it have an exclamation point?

Oh, Henry, we're just so thrilled to have you.

You know, you're the first student to enroll here

ever since that article came out about the school rankings.

Anyway, I'm Vice Principal Marlene, and I'm an open book.

You probably heard that my husband Clemente recently divorced me.

And to be honest, I expected it to hurt more than it does.

You know, the fire went out on our marriage 20 years ago.

But we stuck it out for the dogs.

Okay, let's get you to your first class.

Good morning. Just a little something about myself.

I teach gym. I teach art.

Financially, I'm living in a nightmare, okay?

I wouldn't wish my life on my worst enemy.

Last year, I claimed $4,000 on my tax return.

So in the summer, I'd do clams and oysters down by the airport.

But most of my money is tied up in a drone kiosk at the mall.

Okay, today we're going to do a still life.

One orange, one banana.

Let's get after it, people.

What is this?

Don't you know what a still life is?

That means you just draw the thing. Do the assignment next time.

That jetpack would never work.

It's kind of foolproof, actually. It's just math.

My dad said math has been debunked.

Check it out.

New kid thinks he's a rocket scientist.

I'd love to be a rocket scientist.

So prove it.

Alright, count us down, guys.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Okay, so I know that we're all very excited about the new rebrand.

But I don't think you should call your party bags salt sacks.

I was never here, okay?

Well, the good news is nobody died.

I'm sorry, okay? It was an accident.

This could be grounds for expulsion, Henry.

I need you to call your guardian.

Hey, Mr. Garbertsman. It's Henry. The kid with the tater tock breakfast pizza.

Oh, yeah.

I have a weird fever to ask. Could you

come to my school and pretend to be my uncle?

No way. I don't do that stuff anymore.

I have 26 bucks.

Hi, I'm Henry's uncle.

You? The trash bag?

It's actually garbage, man.

Garbage, man, huh?

Oh, you can bag me up and take me to the curb any time.

But you got to bungee the lid, because I got a lot of raccoons in there.

Whoever divorced you is a complete idiot.

I just don't get it. It should have worked.

I'm not this right, but I probably just cost my sister her job.

Oh, wow. You're super creative.

Hey, since you're going to Juve, do you mind if I get this flyer back?

Paper don't grow on trees, and I'm not really allowed to keep those anymore.

Well, you can have my book, too, because I'm done with it.

So what's this stupid junk?

Who cares? I bought some new-age bull crap. I could let it go for, like, $950.

I wonder what it does.

Hey. It's chakshins.

Never, under any circumstances, combine the orb and crystal.

It's them.

Oh, wait. Do not follow this orb, even if you're a struggling business owner

and need a ton of cash fast, because there's loads of treasure down here.

Dude, dude, it feels like I want to go somewhere.

What?

I'm sorry. I tried everything. I didn't know who else to call.

No, it's okay. What's going on?

Henry's missing. I tried the school. I tried his phone a million times.

He's not answering. He was supposed to be home hours ago.

I thought he's still paying detention for blowing up Chuck of the Chip.

That was him?

Give me a phone.

Oh, my gosh. I can't believe this. We're here

for one day, and he's already the town villain.

Got him. He's fine. He's just planning an abandoned mineshaft.

What? Come on. I'll drive. You can feed Mr. Scribbles this

busted carrot if you want to keep that pretty face of yours.

Hop in.

Okay.

You go first. I'll come to your six.

Yeah, yeah. I got you.

Danger. Whatever.

Whoa.

Henry!

Oh, gosh!

What are you doing down here?

Who's this guy?

He's my new mentor.

Who me? No.

Sorry. What?

Hey, guys? Guys!

It's pulling me, guys.

Henry!

What's happening?

Henry! Let go of that thing!

What's going on?

What's going on?

What's happening?

What's going on?

No.

What?

Oh, man. My butt. My butt.

Well, we're not in Idaho anymore.

I think this is Wyoming.

Wait. Who are you again?

Garret the garbage man Garrison.

Gamer of the year 1989.

Whatever. I barely think about it.

What the heck?

If that's what I think it is, it could be our first quest giver.

I'll do the talking.

All right! Yeah!

Henry! You hear me?

Come on back here! What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Listen up, you swine.

If you can't find more gold, I'll just send you to the overworld to Zombify.

You!

What are you making?

Come closer. It's all right.

Come on. I'm not going to bite you.

Oh, how pretty!

But how will that help me find more gold?

Oops!

What?

Well, looky what we have here.

Our time has come.

Mountain!

Onion!

My gosh!

Was I unclear when I said no one was to waste time on art or leisure?

The orb has returned.

It can't be.

Dennis?

You stole it from me and now you will retrieve it.

It would be a privilege, my liege.

They're going to unbind you now.

Don't do anything stupid.

Of course not. You can trust this little dungeon, but let me just sneak it back!

Oh, go ahead. Strike me down.

My piglins will make a meal of your beautiful wolf.

How do I know you're telling the truth?

There's only one way to find out.

The orb for your little dog's life.

eners.

Why is Quest Giver?

We humbly see gold.

It's the one that will lead us to your treasure load.

Garbage man, I work in the animal field and I am telling

you that thing doesn't understand a word you're saying.

Shhh.

We're talking.

Sorry about that.

What were you saying?

Come on Henry, we're going home.

That felt quick to anyone else.

All right everyone, stay calm.

What?

Yeah, a garbage man isn't speaking English or Espen, y'all.

What am I doing here?

I came out of the air!

Henry!

Whoa.

No!

No, we got a zombie problem!

We need to go right now!

Henry, come on!

It's not a good time to stop!

Henry, hurry up!

How's he doing that?

I don't know, but it might work.

This way!

That's her!

You got this!

You got this!

Go with me!

Don't go down!

Don't you slow down!

You can do this!

Keep going, Henry! Come on! Come on!

Quickly!

That's a disaster!

That's a disaster!

Come on, Henry!

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!

Run, run!

Robbie, please!

Get back!

Get over here!

Get over here!

What are you doing?

Don't leave behind you!

I'm here!

Oh no!

That can't be good!

You idiot!

Run!

Watch out for that!

Open the door!

Hurry!

Go away!

No!

Push that bigger looking backside!

Oh man.

Oh boy!

Oh!

You're moving--

Oh!

Hey!

Oh man.

Oh man!

Oh man!

Oh!

Taste it!

Sneak attack!

Huh?

Who are you?

I am Steve.

Who are you people?

Where's Dennis?

Dennis?

Who's, we don't know any Dennis.

Then how'd you get that?

Hey, relying Machacho is my property.

Do you even know what that is?

It's the orb of dominance.

It's a cube.

Okay, ha ha!

You people seriously have no idea what you're dealing with.

Hand it over and no one gets hurt.

No way!

Okay, we need this thing to get home.

I hate to take a big fat dumperoo on your plans,

but you can't get home.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you mean we can't get home?

Not without the earth crystal.

You mean that little boxy thing?

Garbage man busted it!

Nuh-uh.

Listen, Henry, why don't you hold this?

You got those good Frodo vibes, kid.

I got Frodo vibes.

Are you implying that we're stuck here?

Yes!

Unless you get the earth crystal, it's your only way home.

There's only one way you could ever replace it

at the Woodland mansion,

but going there would get you all killed.

Well, so it's staying here.

Fair enough.

Listen, I can get you home,

but then you gotta give me that orb.

So what are you gonna do with it?

None of you can say!

So, what do you say?

Do we have a deal?

He did just kill like 20 zombies.

Well, like 15, but okay.

All right, Steve, under two conditions.

One, always address me because I'm the leader.

Two, if you double cross us,

I won't crack your cabaisal with my butt cheeks

like a walnut.

This guy is such a toolbag.

I'm so sorry.

We just met this man, and he's not the leader.

Well, it looks like Dr. Swollenstein here

just got himself a deal.

Ooh.

Oh my gosh.

All right.

First we need to load up on some gear,

or we're all gonna die.

Let's go to Midport Village.

This guy's lost his mind.

Move out!

Oh no, not again.

Oh, I am so sorry.

Oh my God, are you all right?

Oh my God, oh my God, are you all right?

Your head is huge.

You're not gonna sue me, are you?

Because everyone wants to sue me

once I hit them with my Jeep Grand Cherokee.

Oh my, how about this?

What if I just take you to dinner?

Would you like to go to dinner?

Ha!

Here it is, Midport Village.

I got a secret stash of elite loot

that'll help us survive the Woodland Mansion.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, who are these guys?

Oh, these dudes?

They're the villagers,

the total pacifists and vegetarians.

You don't bug them, they won't bug you.

They just like to chill, trade, and eat butt loads of bread.

They love crushing a loaf.

So they built all this?

Yeah, most of it, but the good stuff you see,

that's all, Steve.

Whoa, see some kind of king?

No, that's a legend.

Kid, anything you can dream about here,

you can make zero limits.

You know what I'm talking about.

That was your tower, right?

Yeah.

Pretty killer for a first build.

Relax, it's just an iron golem, local security force.

But they're a bunch of big softies.

Unless you start messing with the villagers.

Don't ever do that.

This place makes no sense.

Go with it.

Yo, I need protein like Prato.

I got just the place, buddy.

Hello there.

Oh dude, I got goose pimples just walking up on it.

You ever wonder what happens when you mix hot lava

and chicken?

I did, and you're about to find out.

Uh oh.

You hear that?

That's the sound of sizzling.

Smell that smell.

La la la lava

T-t-t-t-chicken

Steve's lava chicken, yeah, as tasty as hell

Ooh, mama sitter, now you're ringing the bell

Crispy and juicy, now you're having a stack

Ooh, super spicy, it's a lava attack

I have a small business too.

The one thing I try to do is not have my jingle suck butt.

Straight home loser.

Pass the bird, jerky.

I'm not a little wimp like big Steve here.

I crave heat, and I crave pain.

Darren, wait!

Hear my words.

That chicken was just cooked in hot lava.

Let it cool down, man.

Mm-hmm.

Not bad.

Garbage man, you're a big time idiot.

What is it?

What?

General Chugga, get over here.

Hey, Melgosia, what's going on?

Your old dungeon buddy, Steve, has betrayed us.

Well, that's a bummer.

The orb is with four roundlings.

My spies tell me he has taken them

to his lava chicken shack.

No way, I love that place.

La, la, la, la, la, ta, ta, ta, chicken.

Shut up!

Take your finest warriors,

bring me that orb, and kill the roundlings.

So like, you want me to end his life or whatever?

Are you serious?

What do you think I'm talking about?

Okay, I was just kind of confused there for a second.

Take this neither ward so you don't zombify.

Your majesty, I don't think this is gonna be enough

to go around.

No worries.

All right, drink up, guys.

You don't want to zombify up there,

but just tiny sips, okay?

Huh.

Okay, so how do we find this woodland mansion thing?

Over the mountains, into the dark forest,

right beyond the massive red shrooms.

Massive red shrooms? Mm-hmm.

Big old red ones.

We need to find a real map, Steve.

This place is dangerous,

and I need to get my brother out of here.

Well, it seems like he's having a pretty good time.

Look, your brother has a gift.

You know that, right?

You should let him explore it.

Creativity in this world is key to survival.

Okay, well, in the real world,

things are a little bit different.

Creative kids get picked last for a gym,

they sit at the bummer lunch table,

and they get bullied.

Don't I know it.

Do you even realize what he did back home?

He blew up chugging the chip.

Maybe I belong in this world.

Henry, that's not what I meant.

That's not what I was saying at all.

Just so you know,

I'm more of a sister to Hank than he'll ever be.

Yeah.

It's me, Kit.

You okay?

Fine.

Look, I found one of these big-headed looking dudes

that sells maps.

Looks legit. Come on.

Okay.

Welcome to the stash.

Firework rockets, also good for propulsion.

Boots of swiftness.

Diamond armor, full set.

And blades for days.

Everything will need to make it to Woodland Mansion.

Whoa.

Focus, lab, no.

Look, but don't touch.

Those are some of my favorite treasures.

What's this, John?

That is an ender pearl.

Teleport you to wherever you throw it.

Yeah, right.

No!

What the--

And that was the only one I had.

No, Biggie.

Almost died fighting an enderman for it.

Come with me.

This is a crafting table.

Here's how it works.

You place these elements in different patterns,

and--cabin!

You got yourself a sweet blade.

You want to see a blade?

I'll show you a blade.

Yeah!

Cabinus!

That's okay, bud.

Buck-chuckets are useful here.

Yeah, they're cool, Garrett.

They're like nunchucks.

Yeah, I know.

That's why I made them.

They're...

Buck-chuckets.

Uh, they're what?

Hey, can I try something else?

Absorrutantutely.

Bro, you had tots the whole time?

Yeah, sorry.

Ahh!

It's a tot launcher.

Dude, you just took boring junk from the real world

to create something amazing that is next level.

Hank, get a blade with your tot launcher when you're done.

Yeah.

Sweet.

Hey, Steve.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Sure thing.

What's up?

You know that note you left with the orb?

One about the riches.

I read it.

Yeah.

There's riches everywhere.

Keep a fat stash of diamonds at the redstone mines.

So this treasure load is on the way to this mansion place?

Not really.

It's a major detour.

Plus, the mines can be perilous.

I'm gonna keep it simple for you, Steve.

No diamonds.

No orb.

You smell him stepping in.

Good day.

We need a map to the Woodland Mansion.

We just need a map.

Nat.

It's gone.

Something's going down.

All right guys just start trashing their produce villagers hate that

Who are these guys?

Piglins! They must be after the orb!

Hey Steve!

What's going on dude?

Crap!

Shrungus!

I'm really sorry but I have to unalive you and stuff.

Ahh!

Malkos should double cross me.

We just need that orb thingy.

You know this guy?

Yeah we used to get into some dungeon stuff.

He seems nice but he's a killer!

Wow! You look good bro hammer!

You lose some weight!

Stand back boys!

This pig is mine!

No!

I'm tired of you getting all the glory.

This pig is mine.

Steve!

Hey!

We have to get to Henry's!

You think we can take these guys?

Come on let's do this!

Yeah we got this!

Ahh!

Nice moves bro!

Sorry!

What's wrong?

The party's over bud!

Just give me the orb!

Let me do something!

What?

Thanks for the guy!

Need some more!

What happened?

I saved your butt that's what happened.

You can thank me later.

We got to get to the rampart!

Follow me!

Matt we have to go now!

Don I cannot leave him he's my entire family!

He needs you alive!

Okay well meet him back at the woodland mansion.

We got to go find him Matt!

Come on!

Follow me!

Garrett what about Natalie?

We'll be here at the mansion!

Oh great now what?

Elisha wingsuits!

Skit!

Skit!

Whoa!

Head for those mountains!

I thought we were going to the woodland mansion!

Hank don't talk back to your elders.

But! Bye bye!

Those things work right?

Absolutely!

Check it out!

I'm flying!

Good morning SDS!

Let me see you later!

No!

I thought I grabbed three!

Wait for me!

Coming in hot!

No!

No way dude!

That's all my hair!

Just relax let my hips guide you it's the only way!

What?

What?

Hank!

We'll have a better chance if we split up!

What?!

Get off me!

Get off me!

That's your dream

Yeah!

We got hog riders there at three o'clock!

I got you buddy!

Look at this box dude!

Head for the tunnel!

We're not gonna fit!

We're too chunky!

We're gonna have to go nose to toes.

Full man sandwich!

What?

No, I'm not gonna do that!

I have ordered you to make a full man sandwich!

Okay!

Yeah!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Dang it!

A lava bucket!

Okay!

Tighten up!

What?

There's still some negative space back there!

We both know it!

I'm trying to close the gaps!

Okay, now get ready!

I'm gonna squeeze for your safety!

I understand!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Woo hoo!

Get off me!

Henry!

Oh crap!

Don't worry!

I'm gonna push you to the phone with this water bucket!

Release!

You couldn't really fight, Nat?

You were kicking butt!

I have no idea where it came from!

There he is!

Hey, get back here!

We need a map!

Of course we need a boat!

Okay, okay, uh.

Okay, hurry!

The map guy's flown away!

Boat magic!

Nat, that's the worst boat I've ever seen.

I'm sorry, I have no idea what I'm doing.

Forget it, let's go, come on!

No, thank you.

You know, I gotta tell you, I'm having a great time.

I recently got divorced from my husband Clemente,

and the main reason is, you know,

he didn't have any personality, you know?

And not like you.

Uh-huh.

You got some talking with you, buddy.

Hank and I want some answers.

Like, how are we gonna stop those pigs,

and why does my beard smell like Gorgonzola?

Yeah, and who's that evil sorceress you were talking about?

Look!

The sorceress is a pigling queen called Malgosia.

Those are her minions.

She rules over them in a dark hellscape called the Nether.

And I always keep a chunk of Gorgonzola in my front pocket,

okay?

Listen!

Malgosia's path to darkness started

the way these things often do,

during the semi-finals of the Nether's Got Talent.

Young Malgosia always dreamed of being a world-class dancer.

Her moves were pretty out there.

No one in the Nether was ready for it.

He crushed her.

What did I tell you about Uday dancing?

It's time for you to grow up.

I'm tired of you chasing your dreams.

Now take this axe and go find some gold.

There was such embarrassing dancing.

So from that day forward,

she denounced all forms of creativity.

If she ever gets that orb, she'll block out the sun.

Netherwort will flourish.

This beautiful world and everything in it

will wither and die.

And you were gonna give it to her?

Great idea.

I'm not gonna give it to her,

but I need that orb for leverage.

Gotta save Dennis.

Come.

The Woodland Mansion is just beyond the Redstone Mountains.

We can go over or through.

Whatever's fastest.

Through will be faster.

General Chungus, you have failed me for the last time.

Yeah, I'm really sorry about that.

Bring out the beast!

What?

What do you mean you just have to put the brine in?

Well, yes, it's a big deal.

Get it done!

Look, everybody knows it wasn't my best day,

but I'm really trying to set some new goals.

The right hawk, my ultimate weapon.

There he is!

Can him!

Wait, does this mean you're firing me?

Well done.

Now find the roundlings and bring me the oak!

We are so lost.

My one job was to protect Henry and I blew it.

I just promise my mom I'd never let anything happen to him.

I guess I'm just not cut out for this parenting stuff.

Wish I could have been a kid for a little bit longer,

you know?

I just have that feeling like I could have done anything.

I hear you.

Being a grownup sucks.

You got all these responsibilities

and you just stop chasing your dreams.

You think I like having 15 hustles?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold up, hold up.

Let's just calm down.

I think this one just needs some TLC.

Yeah?

You like bones?

Oh, I bet you like bones.

Yes, you do, yes, you do!

Aren't you a beautiful one?

Yes, you are!

Oh, yes, you are.

I cannot believe you just did that.

Wait.

Dennis?

Steve's Dennis?

Can you take us to him?

Oh, Nat, I think this might be our way

to the woodland mansion.

Let's follow that boots!

Son of a biscuit, we found it!

Woo hoo hoo!

Looky, looky here.

Welcome to the Redstone Mines.

You see that glowy stuff?

That's Redstone.

Conducks energy.

You can build some crazy contraptions with it.

Thought you said this was a diamond mine.

Easy, big dog, they're here.

But be careful.

I set some booby traps a long time ago,

but I can't for the life of me remember where they are.

Help me, please!

Ha, here it is.

Thanks, Garrett.

Yeah.

Yes, McDonald's.

Oh, that's what I'm talking about.

Steve delivers the goodies.

Did you guys plan this?

I'm sorry, Henry.

Yeah, I'm not.

Yeah.

What the heck, man?

Overlax.

Now you can be in the mansion already.

She can be in danger.

Oh no, do you smell that?

Nothing.

Nothing what?

What does that mean?

The Great Hawk!

She finally put the brain in.

Run for the mine, come on, shut up!

Hit it, Henry, hit it!

If memory serves, I've built a kick-ass safe room

just up ahead.

Dang it, my torch blew out.

Why are we stopping?

Because we ran out of redstone.

We're gonna need a boost fast.

What's that sound?

You're allowed, Gargar, we're totally safe.

Crap!

My paper farm.

What the?

You gotta be kidding me!

What kind of idiot would breathe these things?

Up ahead, look!

We gotta get to the redstone rail!

Garrett, you gotta do this mess, get out and push!

Okay.

Okay.

Go, Garrett, go faster!

We're not gonna hit it!

Come on, Garrett, you gotta go faster!

Start slappin', Hank!

Get outta here!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Garrett, get in!

He's right there!

Run, guys!

I love you, Deivis!

Woo-hoo!

Nice work, Gar-Gar.

Your little detour almost got us killed.

My lie is so dramatic.

We're still alive.

What's your problem, man?

We didn't need those stupid diamonds.

I swear, you were literally the most selfish person

I've ever met.

Whatever, I need them.

Okay, I need the diamonds,

because I need the money, because I'm broke.

You wouldn't know anything about that.

My life sucks, kid, all right?

I'm a frickin' loser.

There, I said it.

I know it looks like I got it all put together, right?

Smart, funny, bilingual.

El humble, tu un el full-toes.

That's not the reality.

I'm not doing well.

I'm washed up, Hank, and I'm gonna lose everything.

And that's not the worst part.

I'm alone.

You weren't alone.

I was your friend.

Sorry about your finances.

Shut up, Steve.

Wow.

I feel like you get me,

and you're an incredible listener,

and only people with emotional intelligence

are good listeners.

You know, I just didn't think it was in the cards

that I would have another first date, ever, you know?

I wanna have the guts to invite you

over to my house for dessert.

Huh, huh, huh.

Are you finished?

No, I think he's Swedish,

but we're done with our meal.

There it is, the Woodland Mansion.

We're gonna get in there, get the Earth Crystal,

and get you guys home.

Follow me.

Check this out.

Let's do this.

Pay close attention to Papa Steve.

The Woodland Mansion has three floors.

The first floor is loaded with fin-decaders.

Axe murderers, basically.

Why is it third floor?

On the first floor, I'm very confused.

I was trying to make three floors,

but I didn't have time to make like a dollhouse.

The second floor crawls with evokers.

They wield powerful dark magic.

This is the worst model I've ever seen.

Garrett, stop talking.

We're trying to figure out a plan.

Bro, how long you been mad at me for?

I just got mad at you.

Please don't be mad at me for this, okay?

But I accidentally stole the worm while you were crafting.

We cool now?

You are literally the worst person in the entire world.

Guys, both of you, eyes on my demonstration.

Third floor, houses the loot chamber.

That's where the Earth Crystal is,

but it's guarded by endermen.

Whatever you do, do not look them in the eye.

They'll fry your brains out.

Okay, well, I could build stairs to the second floor,

sneak in through the window, and snag the Earth Crystal.

It's a great idea, Hank.

But to pull it off,

we're gonna need a pretty sweet diversion.

You know what can work on these guys?

Sounds crazy.

Hit me.

Friendship is the wish you make

when you're blowing out the candles on your birthday cake.

Don't be a bully and don't be a brute.

Time to put on your birthday suit.

Go Hank, go, while we blow!

You gotta be kidding me.

You got this, Gaga!

Reach down deep!

You're the chuckless kitten, I love ya!

What's going on, Steve?

It's some kind of sadistic vindicator fight club.

I've heard of these, but I've never seen one.

They want me to fight the chicken?

It's a fight to the death, kid!

Chicken jockey!

Watch out!

Keep him away from your face!

Chuck him!

Finally!

I'm sorry, little buddy.

Don't fall for it, gawker!

That baby's got the heart of a demon!

No, you're not a demon, are you?

You're a cute little bugger face.

Just gonna paint your little head.

You'll never be as cruel as me, Hank.

Just give up.

The overworld doesn't need you, Henry.

Neither do I.

You're full, Henry.

Everything you do fails.

This stuff's trash, kid.

What the?

I'm coming!

Sneak attack!

Hank, yeah, I got you, gawker.

Come on!

You saved my life.

That's what friends do, Garrett.

Hank, did you get the Earth Crystal?

Yeah, I got it.

Let's get out of this hellhole.

Come on, come on!

I knew I'd find you dummies here.

Oh no, it's her.

Of course it's me, you fool.

I've been tracking your scent from two biomes away.

Check it out, I even built me a new hog.

Now, Gosha!

Your reign is over!

You're wrong, it's just beginning.

No!

No!

Kill them, we have work to do.

Goodbye, Steve.

(laughing) No!

They're gonna blow this bridge sky high!

Sorry, Hank.

What?

Yeah!

Slime cube!

Come on, Garrett, drop!

I can't, Steve, get him out of here!

Go, Hank!

Save your sister and get home!

Garrett, you don't have to do this!

Tell my story and song!

Keep it metal, keep it heavy, real instruments.

Besides, I love the wilds.

I, thank you.

Garbage sauce, look at it!

No!

We're going down!

Race for impact!

Dennis?

Dennis!

Dennis!

Oh, it's you, it's really you!

Oh, give it!

Oh, how'd you find me?

He's one heck of a wolf.

He led us right to you guys.

Now I understand why you kept yourself so filthy and smelly

so Dennis could find you one day.

You okay?

He's fine, he's just resting.

Good, it's a pretty rough crash landing.

Wait a minute, where are we?

I wish Garbage Man was here to see this.

He would have loved your mushroom hut.

Yeah, I think so too.

I was so afraid that I lost you.

I'm so afraid that I lost you too.

I am really sorry about what I said.

And I'm really sorry about Garrett.

I'm only gonna say this once.

This thingy goes on top of that thingy.

Got it, Travis?

It's gonna make a real cool laser beam that'll dance!

Laser beam that'll dance!

Never mind.

No, no!

No!

The great charkening, it's begun.

Malgos is gathering all her forces.

She will destroy this land.

Unless we go get that orb.

Well, what are we doing here?

Let's go fight some pigs!

I'm ready.

I'm done with those pigs.

Yeah, me too.

Let's do it for Gargar.

First we mine, then we craft.

Let's Minecraft!

One, two, three!

Team!

Get the orb!

What are you saying?

Minecraft!

We should all say that on three.

One, four, get it, there's no time!

Show us what you got, Henry.

Okay, I got a plan.

Killer recipes.

We're gonna have to move fast.

Let's get to work!

First, we're gonna need some iron ingots.

Oh yeah!

And the boots of swiftness.

Time to light this place up.

Come on, boys.

Have a nice flight!

Come on, man!

I bet you do.

I bet you do.

We're also gonna need a ton of diamonds.

Show me what you got, Nat.

Wow!

Yeah!

You want some, buddy?

We're ready.

Let's go save the overworld!

(roaring) All right, my piggies.

Today, we take the overworld as ours!

Protect their villages!

Burn their homes and their symmetrical farm!

All they have created, we destroy!

Well, what are you standing around for?

Get out of here!

Go on, bring me the gold!

Hurry, Henry!

Ha!

News flash!

Iron golems will not attack unless provoked!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Real smooth, Travis!

You ready?

Let's do this.

Oh, for goodness sake!

What are you doing, you big block of meat?

Get down here and take care of those roundlings!

Ha ha ha ha!

How do you like import jobs?

Come on!

Oh ho ho ho!

Okay, gosh.

Let's dance.

Bring it on!

It's a tie!

Oh, my diamond drama!

Make it hot!

Free it!

What is this, breakfast?

Get off of me!

Hurry!

The arm's up there!

Do it, Henry!

I got this.

Go, Henry, go!

Hey, Captain Buttcrack!

I got something for ya!

Get him, Dennis!

Woo, take the man out of that pit!

Dennis is hungry!

Henry!

No!

Ah, I got you, kid!

You're alive!

Yeah!

Between us, I used Steve's water bucket trick.

Pretty cool, huh?

A little bit.

Let's get this sore and go home.

All right, Hank, it's fireball time.

I'm gonna get that spear.

I want you to jab it in the tentacles.

Woo, jab it!

Yeah!

How'd you learn how to do that?

Don't ask.

No!

What have you done?

Theo!

Ha ha, it's good to see you, Gervis-Me.

Huh?

You're crushed!

You failed, witch.

The overworld lives on.

You too have fallen for the great lie.

You'll never be happy.

Deep down you know.

To hope, to dream, to create is to suffer.

You're right.

It is harder to create than to destroy.

That's why cowards tend to choose the deuce.

Ah.

Later, gauche.

Every minute knowing you has been a horror show

waste of time.

Wait, one more thing.

Come closer.

Do you have a little knife

that you're gonna try to stab me with?

No, no, I'm too weak.

Come on!

Who was worth a shot?

Wait, wait, leave me say one more thing.

Come closer.

No way!

No, really, it's about you.

Fine.

Lean down here.

You really are the worst.

Goodbye.

This isn't really, come back.

I don't even have a knife.

Where would I keep it?

Secretize.

Hey.

Yes?

You sure you wanna go back, Henry?

It won't feel like this.

There you got constraints, judgments, obstacles.

Yeah, I know.

But I'm gonna go make stuff anyway.

I like that.

You're a brave kid.

Steve, you still cool with this?

Yeah, come here, boy.

Of course I still love you.

That's why I think this is a good idea.

You changed my life.

It's time for you to go change hers too.

Go now, Dennis

Change Don's life, Dennis

Go on a journey and think of me

Dennis

Go now, legendary wolf of my dreams

My doggy doggy doggy

My Dennis

I'll woo

If I would've known you could sing like that,

it would've helped me get past your smell.

Garrett, you are a truly bodacious warrior

and a really good friend.

I wish you'd come home with us.

Things cool, but I don't have any friends my age.

You would make a great team.

Vio-con Dios.

It means goodbye, brother.

No, it doesn't.

So look at her.

It does.

No, it does not.

Yeah, it does.

Are you sure you don't wanna come back?

Yeah, I'm staying here.

I got a bunch more stuff I wanna build.

Why don't you bring some of that magic

to the real world?

Screw it.

I'm coming with.

Turns out, if you're brave enough,

you can make the real world

your overworld.

Garrett finally leveled up

and his score became the hot spot.

Together, we all joined forces to create the new hit game.

Block City Battle Buddy.

Block City Battle Buddy.

Yeah, we're still in the beta phase,

working out a few bugs,

but let me tell you, life is pretty perfect.

I used to wake up and play back in my childhood days

No one had such a dirty shame

They never gave me a chance to live imagination dance

Well, I came up with a different game

Stylin' the minds out of the time

Rotten after the sun

Having some fun

Laughing

I'm never ever looking back

Cause I'm feeling like a asshole

John finally got to ditch her real estate job.

She and Dennis brought the party wherever they went.

Natalie decided to share her new skill set

with the real world.

Survival mode, self-defense.

The streets of Chugless have never been safer.

You get them Natalie.

And Henry, he finally got that jet pack to work.

I'm the one who's got the highest

I feel alive

Like a red skull, I'm a dragon

I feel alive

With the power of the world inside

I feel alive

I know how much you love bread.

Marlene, your ex-husband's here.

He said it was an emergency.

Well, you tell him, I've got nothing to say to him.

You gotta be kidding me, Marlene.

This is the guy.

Too late Clemente.

You had your chance.

She's right Clemente, you totally blew it.

And now I reap the rewards of your mistake.

You see, when Marlene's Jeep Grand Cherokee ran me over,

I was struck by a love so powerful,

it transcended the barriers of conventional speech.

Now I speak human and she speaks villager.

Uh-oh.

Marlene, you're my lady.

Marlene, ever since we met last night,

I wanted to say, would you marry me?

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

(upbeat music) Let me introduce you to your regrets

You start messing with me

You won't forget what you see

It's not just a pretty face

I'm about to kick your butt to outer space

I grow from zero to hero

You wanna take me on a turn of virtue

I even get a new job, oh

You wanna take me out, I'm on a dryer look

When I blow up, I blow like dynamite

I blow hardcore, I'm just like nether white

Ready or not

Cause here I come, ten, nine, eight, seven

Skip the three to one

I gave them zero to hero

You wanna take me on a turn of virtue

I even get a new job, oh

You wanna take me out, I'm on a dryer look

So you can start to choke your arrow

Bling your flyer

I put the

gripper

I blow up and There will be a new job

Cause now I blow up and I'll do it

It's true! I really don't feel in my trouble

You wanna take me out? I'm wondering times

Are you from Zero to widened?

You wanna take me? I'm wondering time

It's true! I really don't feel in my trouble

You wanna take me out? I'm wondering times

You wanna take me out? I'm wondering times

I'm sure

You wanna turn me up, I enjoy it

Hi, sorry to bug.

I just, I used to live here.

I'm Steve.

Oh, is this about that chest in the attic?

Oh yeah, I'm so glad that's still around.

Hey, you wanna come in?

I'm Alex, by the way.

Alex, great to meet you.