Original subtitles

[MUSIC PLAYING]

ANNOUNCER: And now, DreamWorks' "The Penguins of Madagascar."

[THEME MUSIC]

-Cute and cuddly, boys.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Status report.

-Emergency evacuation system will

be operational after one more delicate adjustment.

Steady, Private.

Rico.

[SCREAMING]

-All the way to the koala habitat?

That's clear across the zoo.

-Oh, he shouldn't be in the zoo at all.

Needs more tension!

[SIGHING]

-Oh!

I'm sorry.

Are you all right?

Hello?

-Who's there?

[GASPS] You!

You're one of those penguins.

-Those penguins?

-Yes.

The dangerously psychotic ones, right?

Am I right?

-Oh, um, well--

-Don't blow me up!

Or teleport me!

Or send me back in time!

-I wouldn't.

Look, we haven't even properly met.

-It's Leonard.

You like to know your victims by name, do you?

I get it.

-Um, I'm Private.

And I'm not going to hurt you, Leonard.

[SCREAMING]

-This is not hurting?

What's your idea of hurting?

Wait!

I don't want to know.

-It was an accident.

Look.

-No hitting!

Not with the branch!

And now you're jumping?

-Um, OK, I'm just gonna go.

-I suppose you're gonna get the rest of your goon friends

so they can pick on me too.

Why are you doing this?

What did I ever do to you?

-He's daft.

But he's so cuddly.

Skipper, have we ever done anything goony to any koalas?

-Koalas?

Koalas.

Uh, nothing overt.

Why?

-Well, this one named Leonard was scared silly-- of me!

I guess he heard some things about us.

-Now what could he have possibly heard

about us that would make him afraid?

[SCREAMING]

-Well, no time to worry about that now.

-Here it goes.

Um, listen, we got off on the wrong track.

And I thought if you got to know us better,

you'd see that we were not, um-- hey, are you all right?

[GASPING]

-I scared him to-- oh dear!

-All right.

That should do it.

-Good work, Kowalski.

-Ooh.

-That koala is unauthorised personnel,

not to mention unconscious.

[LAUGHING]

-I know, Skipper.

But I'm afraid I might have given

him a fright attack or something.

-You do know about koalas, don't you, Private?

-Beyond their fuzzy cuteness?

No.

-Me either.

Kowalski, enlighten us.

-Koala, a herbivorous nocturnal marsupial.

-In Americano, please.

-Uh, they eat nothing but leaves.

The ladies carry their babies in pouches.

And they sleep all day.

-Oh.

They're hippie.

-Wait.

So our day is his night?

-Precisely.

-That's just sleeping?

Uh-oh.

I better take him back before it gets dark.

He's already frightened of us.

If he wakes up here-- [DISMAYED NOISE]

-[PENGUIN NOISES]

-Uh.

-Hi, there.

-Penguins!

I've been kidnapped by penguins!

They're gonna send me to the moon!

They're gonna turn me into a cyborg!

[REGURGITATION NOISE]

Oh, yeah.

[SCREAMING]

-Um, I just wanted to help.

-You call this helping?

What's your idea of not helping?

-You don't want to know.

[SCREAMING]

-Leonard!

Leonard!

I promise you, we're not going to hurt you.

[SCREAMING]

-Bye-bye.

-Oh, it worked!

-That hippie's clear to downtown.

-I'm a-- a promise breaker.

[SCREAMING]

-It's slimy and cold.

[GROWLING]

[SCREAMING]

[BARKING]

-I just wanted to show Leonard he was wrong about us.

He needn't be afraid.

-Well, fail-- uh, from a purely technical standpoint, I mean.

-I'm gonna bring him back.

-You don't even know where he is.

He could be in Tribeca.

-But I know how he got there.

-Nolita.

-This should put me in the same area.

-SoHo.

-Private.

-NoHo.

-That koala was under our roof.

Authorised or not, we go.

-We go?

I'm not familiar with that neighbour--

[SCREAMING]

-Stand by.

On my mark, now!

[SIGHING]

[GROWLING]

[BARKING]

[IMITATING BARKING]

[WHIMPERING]

[INAUDIBLE]

-Scanning for arboreal marsupial.

That way.

Due north.

-Let's move.

-He should be right here.

-Leonard?

How did you--

-Shh.

He's trying to tell us something.

-Fortunately, I am a skilled lip-reader.

I'm claustrophobic.

-Oh, it's too bad he's all squeezed in there then,

isn't it?

-Lungs constricted, breathing laboured,

running out of socks and pens.

-I've heard enough.

Private, hit the footwear store.

Kowalski, office supplies.

Rico, get the man out of that box,

so we can give him his socks and pens.

[REGURGITATION NOISE]

[INHALING DEEPLY]

-Hey, hey, whoa, whoa.

What about the socks?

-We want to help you, Leonard.

-You're helping isn't helpful, so don't help.

-We don't take orders.

We give orders.

-Yes, that is the traditional rescuer-rescuee relationship.

-Car!

-Leonard, get out of sight before--

-Let's go, men.

It's clear Leonard does not want or need our help-- not

with cars, not with dogs, not with people.

Oh, he'll like people.

They'll think he's a cuddly play toy.

They'll want to pick him up and hug him real tight.

-Wait!

Don't leave me!

[SPLASHING]

[CAR HORN HONKING]

-[PENGUIN NOISES]

[YAWNING]

-Run!

-We can't outrun the sun.

-Can you slow down, men?

I have motion sickness issues.

I think I'm going to be--

[SNORING]

-Oh, great.

That's just what we need.

Rico, comatose koala transport, if you please.

[REGURGITATION NOISE]

That'll work.

-Get out of the street, you daft boy!

[REGURGITATION NOISE]

-Next time.

-Leonard!

-So that didn't work.

-[PENGUIN NOISES]

-I might have an idea.

-Good call, Private.

-Thanks, Skipper.

-Doorway.

-So what's the downside to leaving him?

[WHIMPER]

Nah, let's go.

[CLANK]

[THUMP]

[CRASH]

[CLUNK]

[THUMP]

[CRASH]

[SIGHING]

-We're running out of options here.

-Never.

-Kowalski, what are you doing?

-What would Leonardo da Vinci do?

-Paint a haunting portrait of a woman smiling enigmatically?

-Couldn't hurt, I guess.

-Create and innovate!

-We're almost home.

[SIGHING]

-[PENGUIN NOISES] Uh-oh.

-Based on prevailing wind cur--

[SCREAMING]

-Kowalski's down.

-Thorns!

-Eyes on the prize, men.

-Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

-[PENGUIN NOISES]

-Rico, no!

-You know, Rico, there is such a thing as too much dynamite.

-Dive!

Dive!

Dive!

[GRUNTING]

[SIGHING]

-What did I miss?

-Hey, guys, where you been all day?

And, uh, what's with the teddy bear?

-That's classified information, Marlene,

because I don't want to talk about it.

-Hi, there, little fella.

-Oh, no!

You!

You're the otter.

Back off, lady!

Back off!

-Uh, what just happened?

-Sounds like you've got a bad reputation, Marlene.

[THEME MUSIC]

[TRUCK BEEPING]

-OK.

You're good.

A little more.

[CRUNCH]

A little less.

-It appears to be a Hoboken surprise.

-Ooh!

Perhaps it's a unicorn.

-Private, the transfer's from New

Jersey, not Rainbow Pixie Land.

-Alice, what's in the box, anyway?

-You don't want to know.

-Yeah, I probably do not.

-I see increased security.

-Intriguing.

Go on.

-It's-- it's-- it's a boa!

-Ooh!

Boas are very festive.

They frame the face with fabulousness.

-Not that kind of boa, Ring-Tail.

-Member of the genus Constrictus [INAUDIBLE].

I've worked up a rendering of the actual size

of our new arrival.

-Well, well, rather puny, yes?

-Now that's a lot of snake.

-Especially when the crushing begins.

-Precisely.

As my scratch-and-sniff guide to rainforest animals

clearly indicates, a boa will coil around its pray,

squeeze it into unconsciousness, then swallow it whole.

-Take a good whiff.

That's the smell of fear, gentlemen.

-Technically it's snake bile, but point taken.

-Hey, hey, look, I'm sure some boas are mean in the wild,

but this is the zoo, guys.

You know, we're neighbours.

-Right.

And neighbours don't eat neighbours.

-I do!

If my neighbour is a mango.

-If this snake tries anything cute,

we'll be on him like stink on a chimp.

-I beg your pardon, sir.

I believe you're smelling my partner.

-Thank you.

You're too kind.

-Skipper, intercepting an inter-zoo transmission.

-Keep dancing.

-Mm-hm.

-It confuses the looky-loos.

ALICE (ON RADIO): It's the lemurs.

We lost one.

-Take a bow, Private.

Show's over.

-OK, from the beginning.

-Yes.

I noticed a chill in my feet.

Then it hit me, where's Mort?

-Mort from the Latin root "morte," as in, dead.

-Let's not jump to conclusions until we rule out

all other possibilities-- or find a body.

-Ooh, bring me to me my fruity smoothie

with the teeny umbrella and twisty straw.

-The smoothies.

Julien did send Mort to get some pineapple

from over by the reptile house.

-Yeah, the geckos get all the good stuff.

-Reptile house, eh?

Gentlemen, I smell a rat.

And it's inside a snake.

-Ah, the neighbours.

I was hoping I would get a chance to eat you.

-What did he say?

-I mean, meet you.

Slip of the tongue.

-Oh, I know.

I've put my foot in my mouth a time or two.

-Mm.

Good dark meat ratio.

How rude!

I am Savio.

And you are?

-Suspicious.

-We've got a disappeared tiny, little lemur.

-I trust nothing tragic transpired.

-Tragic?

Who said anything about tragic?

Private, did you?

Kowalski?

No.

No one mentioned tragic.

-[INAUDIBLE]

-Oh, this will be easy enough to clear up.

If you could just tell us, Savio,

where were you between the hours of, uh, now

and, uh, sometime before now?

[GROANS]

-Where would I be?

Where could I be?

As you can see, I've no possible means of escape

from this glass prison.

-Kowalski.

-Hm, seems to be an encrypted keypad.

The control-- ah, state-of-the-art

electronic magna locks.

His alibi would appear to be solid.

[GRUNTING]

-There.

You see?

Not a guilty bone in my body. [BURPS]

Now, what say we put this unpleasantness behind us?

You come inside for a bite.

-Oh--

-I wasn't born yesterday.

If I was, I'd be in diapers, which apparently I am not.

-[PENGUIN NOISES]

[LAUGHING]

-Let's go through this one more time, Kowalski.

[SIGHING]

-As we've already established, our boa could not have escaped.

His habitat is locked down tight.

-Lockdown.

Let's look at those locks one more time, shall we?

[SIGHING]

-Double force, titanium interlocking tumblers,

openable only from the outside keypad.

-Hello!

What do we have here?

-Ventilation shaft.

Oh, I suppose it's possible.

Uh, sorry, Skipper-- too narrow.

He might be able to squeeze his body,

but with belly full of undigested prey,

it would be all but impossible.

[SCREAMING]

-Somebody stole Maurice in my sleep!

-I'm sensing a pattern here, boys.

It starts with a scream and ends with a lemur biting the dust.

[SCREAMING]

-It's Marlene!

She's no lemur.

-Well, it's a complicated pattern.

-We're too late.

-Ooh, ooh.

[PENGUIN NOISES]

-Kowalski, what's this look like to you?

-Inconclusive.

A fragment of shoe leather, perhaps synthetic.

-[BUZZER NOISE] Wrong.

Try snake skin.

Boys, I'll bet my left flipper we

find that snake out slithering for a snack.

-It's a good thing you're right-flippered, Skipper.

-Rico, check structural integrity.

[REGURGITATION NOISE]

[EXPLODING]

-Huh?

Nope.

-Tackle.

-Believe me, there are much more difficult things

to swallow than my obvious innocence.

-My, my, my, someone looks plump.

-As do you, but do I make wild accusations?

No.

I find that distasteful.

-Sorry, Savio, I keep telling them

not to judge a book by its cover.

-Indeed, words to live by.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go

and digest your meaty allegations.

-Perhaps it's all just a coincidence

that mammals began disappearing when Savio arrived.

-Sure, Private, maybe all the little mammals

got pulled into a top secret little mammal meeting.

-In that snake's digestive tract!

-Ugh.

-Phew, thanks be to the food spirits, I am not a mammal.

-But you are a mammal.

-No, I am not. [GULPS]

-Uh, warm-blooded, furry, belly button, no question-- mammal.

-A taste for mammals, eh?

Excelente snake bait, young Private.

-Why do I always have to be the bait, Skipper?

-Because you're gullible and expendable.

That's a twofer.

[WHIMPERING]

-Monkey it up a little.

Come on, Private.

-Hoo hoo!

Hoo!

I could go for some ripe bananas, I could,

and perhaps a go on my tyre swing.

[HISSING]

-It's working.

Oh, and, uh, whatever you do, don't look behind you.

-Please hurry.

SKIPPER (ON RADIO): Affirmative.

We're on the move.

-We've been hoaxed.

[STATIC] Come in!

Come in!

-Ah-ha!

-What will you accuse me of now?

Eating a penguin in a monkey suit?

-That's a pretty good guess there.

I wonder how he does that.

-Yes, that would be a neat trick.

-The air vent.

-But, Skipper, I told you it's too small for him

to slip through.

-But he's a long, long snake.

Isn't that right, Savio?

[HISSING]

-Why, I'll bet he could make it clear to--

-Uh, what is that beep, beep, beep I am hearing?

- --make it clear to the--

-I hear it too.

- --make it--

[GASPING]

-Yeah.

That was my theory.

-Sometimes only a real mammal will do.

-Oh, so this is what being paralysed by fear feels like.

Heh, heh.

Good to know.

-Rico.

-Bla-hoi!

[CROAKING]

-Kowalski, options?

-Yes!

The pen is mightier than the-- of course, that was a pencil.

Pen would have been better.

-He's slowing you down.

[SCREAMING]

-Ring-Tail!

-Whee-hee.

-Yay!

King Julien got eaten up too.

-I suppose some books can be judged by their cover

after all.

-When the cover is snake skin.

-It's disgusting and smelly and slimy.

-And snake-y.

-Get us out of here!

-Skipper!

Oh, he'll have a plan.

He's always got a plan.

-Got a plan?

-No.

[SCREAMING]

-You know, I think my eyes were bigger

than my stomach on that one.

-OK, got something.

It's a multi-stage plan.

Phase one, run!

Diversion!

[HISSING]

-Obstacle!

Serpentine!

-We can't defeat a serpent with serpentine.

-Jump!

You like mammals, right?

Meet Burt.

-The world's largest land mammal, FYI.

-No, really, I could not eat another thing.

-Got that right.

-Ah!

[GRUNTS]

-Ooh, I'll give you such a pinch.

-Tell me we came out of the mouth.

-This isn't New Jersey, tough guy.

[THEME MUSIC]