Original subtitles

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-And now, Dreamworks "The Penguins of Madagascar."

[BELL CHIMING]

[THEME MUSIC]

-Cute and cuddly, boys.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-All clear for Operation Bury the Past.

At morning's light, I want these old mission

files six feet under.

[GAG]

-Kaboom?

-Are you insane, man?

-Bleh.

-Explosives would scatter the shredded files randomly.

We need precision scattering.

-Daw.

-There you penguins are hiding.

I have a big problem, and I tried

to make Maurice wake up and fix it, but that guy sleeps like--

[SNORING]

Oh, my teddy bear.

Look at me hibernating.

-Take your little problemos elsewhere, ring tail.

We're on a very tight--

[GASP]

-You have puzzles.

Gimme, gimme, gimme!

-Hey!

-(SIMULTANEOUSLY) Classified!

-No, it's OK.

I'm like a puzzle picture champion.

See?

This one makes a penguin.

But why is he shaking hands with a Sasquatch

and the king of Sweden?

-He knows too much.

-Operation compromised.

Rico, take care of the ring tail.

[GAG]

I meant take care of the cry baby's problem.

[GRUMBLING]

Looks like these files need extra shredding, boys.

Back to HQ.

We go again in 24 hours.

-OK, right there.

You see that?

Who can have the royal sleep with that thing shouting

its light into my eyeballs all night?

Nobody, right?

So make it go away already.

[GAG]

-Kaboom.

-What?

Of course not, you crazy.

That sign is way too huge.

One kaboomy stick won't be nearly enough.

-Ka-- ka-- [SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

-Five, four, three, two, one, kaboom!

-Gah!

-What in the name of Sherman's girdles?

-That was the most awesomest thing

I have ever seen that wasn't me.

[LAUGHTER]

-Rico.

Who authorised that billboard detonation?

Hm?

-Who authorised anybody to care?

The shiny face sign is gone, and there was exploding.

High five the awesome, baby!

-You did tell him to take care of King Julian's problem.

-You know, I can think of many other things that also could

use a good kabooming, if you know what I mean.

[TEETH CHATTERING]

-Whoa, ring tail.

There's a reason we don't let Rico go wild with the kaboom.

He needs a guiding hand to pull him

back before things go too far.

(FAINT) You don't know what you're doing, ring tail.

KING JULIAN AND RICO (VOICEOVER):

Kaboom, kaboom, kaboom.

-We're talking about fiery, end of life as we know it.

Comprende?

-Kaboom, kaboom.

-I mean, of course!

It is unwise that we two should kaboom together ever again.

-Why are you winking?

-Because I am allergic to-- shut up, OK.

[KNOCKING]

-Huh?

[LAUGHTER]

-Kaboom!

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

[EXPLOSIONS]

[LAUGHTER]

[GAG]

[EXPLOSION]

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

Kablamoo!

Ah!

Tada.

-Mm-mm.

[LAUGHTER]

-This has been the best one and a half days of my life!

-Kaboom boom boom boom boom.

-So, so, so tonight we should totally boss out

my kingly habitat, like an explodey home make over.

-(INDISTINCTLY) Oh.

Wait, tonight?

-What?

You've got penguin-y things to do?

Come on, Rico.

Who's going to give you the funnest time, huh?

Them or me?

-Kaboom, kaboom, kaboom!

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

-Well, boys, mission accomplished.

-Requesting permission to--

[SNORING]

-Permission granted.

[YAWN]

I think we could all use a little--

[EXPLOSION]

-Huh?

KING JULIAN: Again!

Again!

You are my minister of awesome.

-Woohoohoo!

-Rico.

Explain yourself, soldier.

-Oh, check it out.

Remember my old boring and lame throne?

Now, thanks to the crazy penguin with the sick skills,

it explodes like a rock and roller concert

every time you say the word Julian.

-(SINGING) Aw yeah!

-Your majesty, what's going on?

-Why did nobody ever tell me a penguin could be so cool?

Who wants hugs, huh?

I've got extra.

-I do, I do!

-All right, Rico.

I'm sure it's been a blast, but--

-Uh-uh.

-What?

-You're ditching us for Julian?

-Yes!

-What fresh madness is this?

-It's classic anti-authoritarian rebel euphoria.

Rico's been encouraged to go as destructively

insane as possible.

-And he's loving it.

Just look at that little [INAUDIBLE].

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

-Don't do this, Rico.

He's pushed you too far already.

-Don't listen to them.

You just stick with your enabler, King Julian.

-Look at yourself, man.

You're clinging to a single thread of sanity.

-We could Julian some potatoes.

-For your own safety you've got to come with us.

-I'm sorry, I can't hear you.

Could you lean in closer?

-Stop that.

-Uh-uh.

Hm.

-OK, if you two want to dance with Lady Danger,

I guess there's nothing we can-- hiya!

-Come on!

[GRUNTING]

[GROANING]

SKIPPER: Come on!

You're going to break him.

[GAG]

[SCREAMING]

-Yes!

Ejection traps for the lower classes.

Another success really.

-Blah, yeah.

[HOWLING]

-Who is ready to complete the royal home makeover?

-All right!

-OK, I am a king, right?

-You da king.

-So what is up with the un-big tiny littleness

of my royal estate?

Can your crazy explodo skills give me

the super big kingdom I deserve?

[LAUGHTER]

I will take your deranged cackle as a yes.

-Move in hard and fast, men.

Rico's a danger to himself and others.

We never leave a madman behind.

-Too late, you silly penguin.

Already he is expanding my kingdom with the most

mayhem-iest destructo machine ever!

[LAUGHTER]

[BUZZING]

OK, why is he just standing there?

-You maniac!

You let him go too far.

He's built up too much psychotic pressure.

-Too much-- what?

-Don't you see?

Rico is the destructo machine.

[DERANGED SCREAMING]

[YELP]

-What is he doing?

-You asked Rico to expand your kingdom.

-Yes.

And?

-Well, it appears he's doing it by levelling

everything in his path.

-OK, maybe I was a little fuzzy in the details.

But you know, I'm a big picture guy.

[SCREAMING]

-Maurice!

Fix it, fix it, fix it.

-By my calculations, it's too late to stop it.

Our only hope is to contain him at his current location

until he burns off his appetite for destruction.

-Eh, by current location, we are talking

about my kingly habitat?

-Precisely.

If we can't hold him in there, his vortex

of regurgitated mayhem will destroy the zoo.

-Which parts of the zoo?

Because the elephants' place is kind

of shabby already if you ask me.

Ugh.

OK, fine.

Let us save the zoo.

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

-Stand down, soldier.

You're not in your right mind.

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

Or any other mind.

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

-He's hitting his berserker peak.

Just hold your crown for a little more--

[GRUNTING]

-Ow.

Nobody told me there would be hurting.

Forget it.

Knock down the zoo already.

-Ah.

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

[SCREECH]

-Huh?

-Keep him inside the bouncy.

Its rubbery sponginess should make an ideal lunacy absorber.

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

[SIGH]

-He's going to be just fine.

-Whoa.

-Ah!

My kingdom.

-You did the right thing Julian, eventually,

when there was no other choice.

Um, good job.

-Look how roomy it is now!

Finally a habitat fit for a king.

Come, Maurice.

Let us wallow in the luxurious nothing.

Hooray!

We're nothing.

-Would you look at that?

I think 48 hours of uncontrolled mayhem

has left somebody plum tuckered out.

-Aw, he wants uppies.

-Come on, big guy.

Let's get you home.

-There you are.

-Up you go.

-It's good to have you back, Amigo.

[GAG]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[HUMMING]

-Huh?

Uh-uh.

Wait a min--

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

[LAUGHTER]

-Forgive me, Rico.

Just testing out my latest invention.

It translates thought into action,

and I call it (DRAMATICALLY) The Helmet.

-The Helmet?

Really?

-It's a working title.

I'm-- I'm totally open to suggestions.

The point is this proves once and for all that intellect

is stronger than brute force.

-Nuh-uh.

[GAG]

-Uh-huh.

Interesting point, Rico.

However--

-Now there's no need to squabble, boys.

Intellect and brute force are both important to this team.

(WHISPERING) Mostly brute force.

-Look at me!

I'm flying.

Yay!

-Not bad if we need to do air recon.

But what else is it good for?

[CAT MEOWS]

-Oh, and don't get me started on his cooking.

Maurice's cooking was so bad--

-How bad was it?

-It was so bad I wouldn't eat it.

[LAUGHTER]

-Oh, that's so funny because it's you!

[GROANS]

-This ain't worth a two mango minimum.

-But seriously, folks--

-Now that's funny.

Do it again.

-Nice, Kowalski.

[GOBBLING FISH]

-That penguin has a magic crown that makes things go floaty.

Maurice, why does my crown not do such magic?

-Well how do you know it doesn't?

-Oh, good point.

OK.

Fly, Mort, into the sun!

-Oh, yay!

-Ugh, this crown is so lame.

Oh, hello penguins.

I could not help but notice that you have a hat that magically

brings things, and me want it.

-Kowalski.

-I am consumed by jealousy!

I must have that magic hat!

[SNORING]

Maurice a little more.

Hoo.

Oh, come on.

[GRUNTING]

Grr.

[SLEEPY MUMBLING]

Now, Maurice.

[SLEEPY MUMBLING]

[PANICKED SCREAM]

-The Helmet!

It's missing.

Oh good golly.

-Oh, hello.

Didn't see you there.

How are you liking my new crown?

Quite fetching, yes?

[STAMMERING]

-Careful!

You have no idea of the awesome power you now wield.

-Of course I do.

That's why I took it.

I am the king, and only the king can wear such awesome power.

Now watch as I wield.

I want a fizzy soda.

-Ow.

-And a candied bar.

-Oof.

-And now I am wanting Chinese food.

[SCREAMING]

Eh eh eh.

No.

Real Chinese food from the China.

What is taking so long?

Work, crown, work.

KOWALSKI: No!

Don't touch that.

-Sh.

-You'll overload the--

-You're interrupting my concentrations.

Now where is my lo mein?

-Food coming from China does have a long way to travel.

-Good point, Maurice.

Thank you.

Also, you are fired.

-What?

-My brain and my crown thingamabobby

will do everything for me.

-Yay King Julian!

-Except the worshipping, which Mort will do.

-Yay job security!

-You're still here?

-Wait!

-Now turn over the helmet, ring tail, before someone gets hurt.

Kowalski, tell him.

-I will, just as soon as I--

[CHOKING]

--can get the Mort hair off my--

[GAGGING]

--tongue.

You have no idea of the forces you are playing with.

[SCREAMING]

He's turned the helmet's control regulator up to 10.

I kept it at a cool five, easy enough for my accelerated brain

capacity, but 10 is way too much for Julian's

extremely limited mind.

-And that means what exactly?

-Oh, just that his chaotic thoughts will destroy us all.

-Kowalski, have you ever invented anything that doesn't

eventually threaten to destroy us all?

-Let me think.

Uh, no.

-What next?

I know.

Papaya.

Eh, diced.

See Mort?

There's nothing I cannot do.

-You are the greatest.

-Except kiss up to my own hiney.

Very good, Mort.

Perfect.

You be gone.

You're trying to steal my crown!

-No, it's a helmet.

And yes, we're stealing it-- back.

-Heh.

I am surrounded by the lowdown, dirty snakes.

Figure of speech.

Go away.

-You must exercise caution.

Whatever you think of will come right to you.

-Your brain can't handle that kind of power.

-I was handling it just fine until you came charging

in here like a herd of angry rhinos.

Hoohoo.

At least I didn't say like a herd of angry elephants.

OK, OK.

But at least I didn't say a city bus.

[HORN HONKING]

OK, I see what I did there.

But at least I didn't say--

-Nothing.

You didn't say nothing and you didn't think nothing.

-Despite Skipper's double negatives,

I trust our point is becoming clear.

[MUFFLED WHINING]

-Ugh.

You know, my old crown was much less dangerous.

-So why don't you take this crown off?

-Yes.

And do so carefully.

This is a particularly explosive situation.

-Explosive?

-Oh, heck.

-Hit the deck!

Huh.

He's grabbing some good altitude.

-I wonder if King Julian will realize

he can use the helmet's power to summon a parachute.

-Nope.

Ring tail, take off that helmet ASAP.

-OK, OK.

I'll take it off.

I mean, it's not like this crown is chained to my head.

OK, now I am feeling the stupidness.

Help!

-Let's roll.

OK, ring tail.

Do not think of anything except for me

telling you not to think of anything.

-I won't.

My brain will allow no thoughts in.

My brain will be a brick wall.

Oopsy.

-Ah!

Rico.

[GAG]

[SCREAMING]

-You know, I thought those would look cool and they do.

-The helmet is overwhelming his brain.

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

Retreat!

-Skipper, I don't see any way of penetrating

that wall of telekinetic chaos.

Nobody can stop Julian's brain from destroying

the entire world.

-Look!

-Woo!

Your highness, I am here to help.

-And you are--

-Maurice.

-Um--

-I used to work for you.

-Hm--

-As recently as this afternoon.

-Hm.

Now that you mention it, your face does ring a bell.

[BELL CHIMING]

Oh, Maurice.

[GASP]

What have I done?

-Duck!

[QUACK]

He's distracted.

Now's our chance!

-Skipper, I have a careful, well thought out plan of attack.

Rico.

[COUGHING]

-Maurice, you are alive.

I thought I had lost you.

-No, but you did lose your hair.

-I lost my--

[GASP]

-This is hideousness.

Ugh, I am as hairless as a chimp's bottom.

-Chill.

I got it covered.

-Ah, Maurice, you always know just what I need.

-Yep.

Chinese Chinese food is here, your majesty.

-Yummy.

Let's chow.

-Well done, Rico.

Good old brute force to the rescue, eh.

-Uh-huh.

-Not entirely.

After all, Skipper, it was my intellect

that reasoned it was time for brute force.

-Right, Kowalski, right.

Intellect, brute force, they're equally important.

(WHISPERING) Not really.

Give me brute force any day.

-But Skipper, doesn't violence beget more violence?

-Sure does, Private.

It's a win-win.

[THEME MUSIC]