Original subtitles

It's Dad's basement, Vivian.

He should decide what happens to his stuff!

Yeah, I-I know there was a flood, but wet things can dry.

No, it's-- It's not trash, Vivian. Those are his treasures.

I can't wait to see everybody.

I can't wait to see some of the people.

Are you sure you don't want to text Kate before we get there?

I don't know, something funny, just to break the ice.

She was out of line, okay? Not me.

Whatever she said, I'm sure she's sorry.

I'm just gonna tell her we need to set some clear boundaries,

and if she doesn't like it, too bad.

I really hope she's in a good mood.

No, no, no, no, no. You're being ridiculous. You are!

Just put on Dad, Vivian, I swear to God!

Hey, Dad. Yeah, just tell me what's down there,

and I can help you decide whether to keep it or not, okay?

Keep.

Keep.

Keep.

Oh, that, you, uh-- No, uh… Keep.

Keep, yeah.

Oh, we're getting so close. I can't wait to see everyone.

Ya know, we should probably stop and get some groceries.

Oh, no, they're already bringing groceries, babe.

What if they didn't get enough?

Okay, why don't you just throw everything in the house away?

Huh? Just throw it all in the garbage.

Oh, yeah.

Happy New Year, party people!

Who's ready to leave the past behind us?

Hi!

I-I'm using that tone

because that's the tone that you're using with me.

Oh, yes, it is. Don't. No, no, no, no.

Everyone's already here.

Hi!

Ginny in the house!

Oh!

We did it!

Danny, are you cooking anything special?

-Claude's cooking. -Mm-hmm.

I'm making a classic Italian New Year's dish.

Zampone with lentils.

Is that a foot?

No, it's a traditional Italian sausage encased in a foot.

Oh.

Well, it won't be the first time I've put a foot in my mouth.

That came out weird. I don't mean like I have an OnlyFans.

Hi.

Hey! The vacation can officially begin.

The VIP is here!

Hey!

Thank you all for coming on my trip.

Of course.

-It's mama's turn. -Yeah, it is.

I said that 'cause I have tequila in this.

Hi. Hi, hon.

And this is the famous Terry.

-Terry! -Hi, there. Hi.

No autographs, please.

-And he's funny. -Nice to meet everybody.

What was your name again?

-Terry! -Terry.

We met at a potters convention in Poughkeepsie.

Terry was hosting a demo where he made a bowl that looked like a human brain.

Yeah, it was… You know, the brain is the most sensuous organ of the human body.

Oh, wow.

I'll go get the rest of the stuff.

Thank you.

So, how was your Christmas?

It was perfect.

Claude put up four trees and we did nothing.

Sorry, my dad's basement flooded

and my sister's being crazy just trying to toss out everything.

Yeah. She's completely unhinged

because she doesn't want a pile of wet TV Guides from the '90s.

Got it.

Thank you.

Let me show you our room.

Come in.

I have something to tell you.

Okay.

It's very much an emergency.

Okay. Babe…

…what is it?

Eighteen years ago in Barcelona…

Uh-huh.

…I think I fucked Terry.

I need to know.

I mean, there's no way I can ask him directly, though.

Oh, Claude.

-What? -I love this mystery for us.

Jack, I need a moment.

I'm listening, Kate.

I felt frustrated and resentful

when you did not help me with the groceries.

Okay, I receive that.

I apologize,

and I will try to be more considerate about carrying stuff in the future.

Okay.

Oh, I think your sister's texting you.

What?

Uh, what are you-- What are you doing?

Vivian texted you.

Thank you.

Vivian, do not throw that out.

Well, how wet is my poster?

Mm.

Oh my gosh.

Oh! I know what you did.

Are we doing shots?

-Oh. -No, babe.

-These guys don't drink, remember? -Oh, right, right. I'm sorry.

Yeah, they're immunity shots. The ginger just burns like a motherfucker.

Uh, you already know Rachel.

Right, from the, um…

And this is Sarah.

-Hi again. -Hi.

-Good to see you. -Hello. Good to see you.

And obviously, this is Jett.

Sup, sup!

-Can't forget Jett. -Nah.

-Okay. Good to see you. -Yeah.

So, any of you guys big skiers?

-Yeah. You guys ski a little, right? -I went on like a middle school trip.

And Jett sleds.

I mean, Jett does sled.

He said it.

-We've got it all. -Okay, here's a funny story.

So, I was in REI yesterday, and I was looking at sunglasses--

Hello, hello, hello.

-Colby! -Oh, my God!

Tell us everything! How was Paris? Tell us.

Oh, my God. It was so amazing. I loved it so much.

I may move there. It was so good.

Okay, he said the same thing about Lisbon, so…

Okay, guilty as charged.

Colby's the traveler of the group. His TikTok is all packing videos.

Wow.

So, Terry, have you ever been to Barcelona?

Mm-hmm. Many times.

Uh-huh. Were you there in 2007?

Because I lived there in 2007.

Did you have a mustache back then?

I did a mustache once for Movember.

Yeah, but no one is asking you. I'm speaking to Terry.

Gee, enough with the third degree.

Give a guy a chance to eat his potato skins.

-All right, all right. -It's okay.

-Can I ask another question? -Yeah.

Yep.

Danny, can we talk, please?

You wanna do this in snow pants? Fine. Speak.

You have every right to still be mad at me. I-I feel horrible.

You cannot talk about my husband that way.

You and I need to establish some real boundaries.

-Of course. -No, no, no, it's not "of course."

You don't have to like Claude, but you have to respect him.

-If you can't do that-- -Danny, I am so sorry, okay? It's just…

It's… I'm fucked up, right?

I take shots at people when I'm unhappy,

and all I can say is I am genuinely sorry about what I said about Claude.

It will never happen again,

and I know that it is my job to do the work to regain your trust.

Okay, wait. That apology was really good. Who fixed you?

-Dr. Suzanne. -Hmm.

Jack and I started couples therapy,

and I won't complain about it because I will respect our new boundary.

Oh, I don't need boundaries. I'm amazing.

We're going to go down that one-way street right the fuck now.

Who is Dr. Suzanne? Does she have a candle?

-How big is her jewelry? -It is a candle trio, it is dusty.

Her biggest necklace is basically a bronze waffle.

How's therapy going?

Well, uh, we're not fighting as much.

-That's good. -We're also not talking as much.

Except in this weird therapy speak.

Um, also, we haven't had sex in three months. TMI.

You know, you're supposed to say "TMI" before the thing.

Sorry.

TMI.

Hello.

It's just, you know, we're usually pretty good in that area, so it kind of…

Kind of has me wondering.

Wondering what?

What, you think Jack's cheating on you?

Oh, he would never.

Except he kind of already did.

He kissed Anne at parents' weekend.

That's exactly what I did, yeah.

Because it's objectively hilarious.

Yeah, no, I'm not worried about Anne. I…

I just can't shake the feeling that he's hiding something from me.

Kate, come on.

He changed the passcode on his phone. That's bad, right?

-What is your face? -What? What? There's no face.

Jack's not cheating.

I mean, he's bad at logistics.

You think a man who asks you what his pants size is

is gonna book a hotel room with a secret credit card? Come on.

…that I am such a fan of burgers.

I could eat a burger every night. I don't know why…

And he loves you.

Yeah, you're probably right. It's…

I've really missed you.

I missed you too. Come here.

I'll be back.

Oh, so, listen.

I need to see Terry naked.

Oh! Oh, okay. Of course you do.

I just remembered the Barcelona guy had a birthmark on his left thigh.

Can we make it happen?

-Let's make it happen. -Yes, baby!

See you at the bottom, shit sticks.

All right, Katherine, I'm coming after your ass!

Whoo!

Are you kidding me?

Bye!

-Whoo! -No!

Drinks on you, suckers!

-You can't feel good about that. -Oh, boo! You suck!

Whoo!

Oh, boo!

I didn't even know we were starting, you cheater.

Ah!

Oh my God.

I win!

Better luck next time, slowpokes.

Oh my God, he's the Carl.

-He's the Carl, everyone. -The Carl!

Sorry, babe. Carl was Rachel's ex-boyfriend.

He was, like, so competitive.

No, no, no, no. Don't worry. We've all been the Carl at some point.

You're officially one of us.

Oh, great.

Do they care why?

I know you're…

I can get you regular coffee. It's not a big deal.

No, no, no. It's… It's good.

You can really taste the blended mushrooms.

Rachel is a super-talented Ayurvedic chef.

-Except for last New Year's. -Oh my God.

Oh my God.

What happened?

Uh, Rachel only almost killed us all, so…

No, I started a tiny grease fire, and Jett put it out, so…

By throwing my peacoat on it.

-Still waiting for that Zelle. -Oh, you know what?

I have got a crazy New Year's story for you guys.

So my friends and I, we always rent this house

every New Year's in Calico Mountain.

And one year, I think it was like ten years ago, the hot tub broke.

So we called a handyman, and he came and he fixed it.

And then we couldn't get him to leave.

Wait, so the guy just refused to leave?

Yeah, we were scared to ask.

I mean, he was just, you know, a little off, right?

I remember while he was working, he kept whistling that creepy song.

It was, like, a children's song.

-Wait, what was his name? -Oh, it was, uh… It was like Eric?

-Or Ernie or something? -No.

Edmond.

His name was Edmond.

And he was huge.

He was like a Viking warrior.

He fixed the hot tub.

He plopped down on the couch.

And then he just stared at us.

Yeah, he was watching TV, drinking our liquor.

We were so confused.

We were, like, was he working? Was-- Was he off-duty?

-We thought he might be homeless. -Yep.

So you guys didn't want to help him?

No, we wanted him to get the hell out of there, but he wouldn't leave!

Not Edmond.

This guy ate like he was going to the chair.

A wheel of cheese down to the rind.

And then he was like, "Uh, you guys got any eggs?"

Eggs.

I made him a southwestern omelet, remember?

Well, we thought, you know, the happier we kept him,

the less likely he was to kill us.

Finally, about 2:00 a.m., he gets up to leave.

And I say, "Oh, well, you know, be safe getting home."

And he said, "Oh, I'm not going home. I'm going to my brother's house."

-And guess who his brother was? -Who?

Kenny Loggins!

Um…

Wait, his brother was Kenny Loggins?

That is so fucking crazy. I'm dead, bury me.

That's nuts!

-We never even got in the dang hot tub! -No! We never went.

Oh my God.

Speaking of hot tubs, we should go in after dinner.

What do you think, Terry?

Yeah, sure, if you're there, I'm there, handsome.

Remember in Caddyshack, the gopher, when the gopher was dancing?

Oh, that's Kenny Loggins.

No, that's a gopher.

He's a musician.

Well, I'm probably gonna get started on dinner.

Oh yeah. Uh, we-- We can help you.

Nick brought this knife that he saw on Shark Tank.

Well, you go ahead. I'll catch up later.

Okay.

I'm always hungry.

I actually don't think I'm gonna need knives.

Really? What are you making?

It's really soft. So, yeah.

Hi, this is Danny. Leave me a message, I'll get back to you.

Hey, Danny, I just wanted to call

and wish you guys a Happy New Year before you got too busy.

And… Uh, hold--

Oh! Okay, wait, that's you calling right now.

I'm… Uh, okay, I'll talk to you in a sec!

-Hey, guys! -Hey!

Oh, hey, hey, what was the hot tub guy's name? It's killing us.

Edmond.

Edmond! Of course!

-Good old Edmond. -Thank you.

So… So, what's the plan? Are you guys staying up until midnight or…

Oh, no, we're too old for that amateur-hour bullshit.

We're doing the Greenland ball drop in one hour.

-9:00 p.m. -Yeah! It goes like this.

Greenland ball drop and then hot tub, everybody, right?

Hey, what are you guys eating?

It is foot sausage, but actually, it's ve-- It's delightful.

It smells great.

Mm!

Oh my God, is that a guitar? No!

Did somebody bring a guitar?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, Nick, this is Terry.

-Anne's friend. -Hey, there. Hi.

Hey.

Hi.

It's really nice to meet you, Terry.

We're very happy together, and you have two minutes because this is my trip.

I know. It's just, it's nice to see you guys.

Wait, how is, uh, Real World: Snow Town?

Oh, well, there's no booze and no meat, and they made me drink mushroom coffee.

Oh, God!

Yeah, they'll die at 100, but when do they get to live?

Right? So, what's, uh-- What's happening there?

Well, uh, Danny won the ski race…

And, uh…

And Claude is trying to get everybody in the hot tub for some reason.

And Jack cannot put his phone down.

Oh, I'm sorry. My dad's basement flooded.

So I'm trying to help him save all the valuable antiques he's got down there.

"Valuable" valuable or Jack valuable?

Yeah, what category would you put

an old Big Wheel and a VCR full of spiders?

Oh, come on. Give him a break. He's a very sentimental guy.

Oh, thank you.

She wants me to get rid of the Mobsters poster

from my first job at Mr. Napoli's video store.

Mr. Napoli? Let him keep it.

-But is it just a poster, Jack? -Well, thank you for asking.

It's a poster, cardboard standee, and soundtrack cassette.

How the hell are you gonna play a cassette?

On my wet Walkman.

Hey, what-- What are you doing up here?

Hey! I called to wish the gang a Happy New Year.

-Say hi. -Hi, Ginny!

-Hi. Hey, guys. Happy New Year. -Hey!

Ciao! Buon anno!

Um, hey, it's time for dinner.

Rachel made vegan paella.

Oh, God.

You know what? Why don't you start? I'll-- I'll be down in a minute.

-Okay. -Okay.

Well, happy Greenland New Year's, you guys.

Miss you all.

-Oh, we miss you too. -Happy New Year!

We all miss you. Well, maybe not Anne.

Goodbye, Nick.

Have a happy New Year.

Love you, guys.

Wow, New Year's Eve is going to be over by 9:00 p.m.

Should one of us get throw-up drunk just for old time's sake?

You can't get over the password thing, huh?

I freak out every time he looks at his phone.

Come here. You need to talk to him.

Now I know it's a nightmare for you because you're just like me.

You love making jokes and picking fights.

I don't like picking fights. I like winning fights.

Okay, do you want to win or do you want to have a nice life?

When do you need an answer by?

Claude won't let the hot tub thing go,

so after the ball drop, we all have to put on our suits.

Okay.

Terry seems great.

Yeah.

I don't know, you may never see Terry again after this trip.

He wears a dainty silver anklet.

Ooh.

But I am proud of myself for getting back out there.

Absolutely.

He's surprisingly good in the sack.

I don't, uh… believe you.

It's almost time. Everybody!

-Su! -Oh!

Okay.

The bottle.

Ten, nine, eight, seven…

…six, five, four,

three, two, one!

Happy New Year!

-Yeah. -Okay.

He's like Marmaduke.

I can't look at it.

Are you kidding me, Nick?

I was just about to come down.

Talking to your friends I get, but you're just hiding up here?

I'm not hiding, I just, you know, I kind of lost track of time.

All my friends think that you're avoiding them.

Well, it doesn't seem like they really want me around.

That is bullshit.

Nick, you're not even trying to have a good time with them.

I went skiing.

I told them a hilarious story, which they did not appreciate.

I got groceries.

Yeah, you got groceries that only you like.

I told you that half of my friends were sober, Nick,

and you brought in champagne.

Rachel was really offended by that.

-Wait, which one is Rachel? I-- -Damn it, Nick!

We are always with your friends.

And your friends are…

Honestly, they're no walk in the park, but I go,

and I sit in that discomfort for you.

-Ginny, babe, I… I… -No, no, no.

I'm really mad at you right now.

And I'm gonna go on a moonlight hike with my friends.

You're not invited.

-And I'll see you at midnight, okay? -Okay.

That was nice seeing Nick.

Yeah. Yeah.

And I'm feeling a little better about Dad's basement.

I'll get rid of some stuff, like my old retainer.

But wait, what if our grandchild has the same mouth as you?

Oh, you're right, we should keep it.

Jack, I need a moment.

Kate, I am listening.

Oh.

Is it your sister again?

No, no, no, just some boring…

All right, I'm listening.

I know I'm not the best communicator…

…or whatever.

Yeah.

And, um, I feel embarrassed even bringing this up.

Mm-hmm.

Tell me who you're fucking!

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about you and that fucking passcode!

That bitch picked a fight.

-Maybe we should forget the hot tub. -No!

-Your passcode's been the same… -It will be over soon.

What the fuck?

Okay, people change their passcodes all the time. It doesn't mean anything.

Okay, then what is your new passcode?

Okay, fine. You want to know why I changed my passcode?

I went on to LegalZoom to look into mediation.

All right? I-I looked one time,

and now I just get constant texts and emails about it.

Mediation? You're googling how to divorce me?

It was LegalZoom!

Whatever, that's so much worse than cheating.

Well, I only did it because you constantly make me feel like you're gonna leave me.

I could never leave you. Your life would fall apart.

-Excuse me? -You want to know what's on my phone?

Endless emails and texts about all of your doctor's appointments

and all the bills because I do everything, and you do nothing.

You don't like me anymore. I get it. I don't like you much right now either.

We don't have to ruin everybody else's vacation.

Shit!

Well, why don't you just throw it out? That's what you love doing.

Okay, okay.

Where is she?

I hope they're okay.

Shall we?

Yeah.

Nice.

It's not him.

Uh, sorry, it's gotten a little too cold for us.

We're gonna go to bed.

Okay.

Whoo!

Whoo!

Yeah.

So, where shall the night take us, milady?

Terry, we need to talk.

Please.

Let me help you.

Of course. Yes.

Thank you.

Happy New Year, Claude.

Happy New Year, Kate.

In all the right ways

All my underdogs

We will never be never be Anything but loud

And nitty-gritty, dirty, little freaks

Won't you come on and Come on and raise your glass

Excuse me, are these gluten-free crackers also vegan?

-Mm-hmm. -Thanks.

Slam, slam, oh hot damn

What part of "party" Don't you understand?

Wish you'd just freak out

Can't stop, coming in hot

I should be locked up Right on the spot

It's so on right now

Party crasher, panty snatcher

You're the Carl.

Call me up…

Finally.

Hi, Kate, it's Ginny. I'm sorry for calling you, I don't…

Jack?

Jack!

-Wake up. -What? What's wrong? What's wrong?

He was driving alone and there was an accident.

Honey, calm down. I don't know what you're talking about.

Nick died.

He's gone.

Oh my God.

Anne?

Uh…

Anne, honey, wake up. Something terrible has happened.

Kate! No! No, no, no! Oh, no!

Terry, get out!

Oh, God.

What's going on? What's wrong?

How is this real?

We just spoke to him.

Anne, do you want me to call Lila?

Oh!

No.

I think I'd rather wait till tomorrow to break my baby's heart.

Goodbye, Norma Jean

Though I never knew you at all

You had the grace to hold yourself

While those around you crawled

They crawled out of the woodwork

And they whispered into your brain

And they set you on a treadmill

And they made you change your name

And it seemed to me

You lived your life Like a candle in the wind

Oh, never knowing

Who to cling to when the rain set in

And I would have liked To have known you

But I was just, I was just a kid

Your candle burned out long before

Your legend ever did

Please stop singing.