All language subtitles for Law.and.Order.Special.Victims.Unit.S11E03.Solitary.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.x264-NTb_track3_[eng]

Male narrator:
In the criminal justice system,

Sexually based offenses are
Considered especially heinous.

In new york city,
The dedicated detectives

Who investigate
These vicious felonies

Are members
Of an elite squad

Known as
The special victims unit.

These are their stories.

- no, no, no.
You deal with it.

No, I'm not coming back
To the office.

No, already--
I promised lily

We'd celebrate our seventh-month
Anniversary together.

She's a chick.
You know how it is.

Dude, she's not
Going to understand.

Look, it's after 10:00.
I'm already late.

She's going to be pissed
At me.

Ah, I'll see you tomorrow.
Don't call me.

Hey, honey, I'm home.

You, uh, you ready to party
With the parkster?

Big guy has been aching
For you all day.

Lily! Oh, god.

- 911 operator, what is
The nature of your emergency?

- something really bad
Has happened to my girlfriend.

- lily milton, 23.

Lives here with her boyfriend,
Parker hubbard.

Matched the bloody print
To exemplars

From her personal effects.

They're definitely lily's.

- no sign
Of forced entry.

- but she put up
A hell of a fight.

- till he bashed her head
Into that mirror.

I found her hairs
On the bloody shards.

- she was still alive
When he took her

Down the fire escape.

Blood trail.

- the fire escape?

It's got to be that perv.

- what perv?

- the one who's been
Peeping here for the last month,

Watching us have sex.

- did you call the police?
- lily did.

They didn't do
Anything about it.

- well, they're probably
Trying to identify him.

- how hard can it be?
The creep lives downstairs.

- police, open up.

- nypd.

This is my partner,
Detective benson.

I'm--
- detective stabler.

And they say lightning
Never strikes twice.

- do I know you?

- how could you forget?

Last time we met, you put me
In jail for 19 years.

- in 1989, I was in uniform
Walking a foot post.

Callum donovan
And some of his accomplices

Were robbing a bank.

On their way out,

He runs into me,
Literally.

- that's a lucky catch.

- changed my life.

- you don't look
Old enough to shave.

- I wasn't old enough
To make detective,

But the p.C. Was impressed.

They promoted me
On the christmas list.

- so you made your bones
On his back.

Any sex crimes
On donovan's rap sheet?

- that arrest was
His only fall.

- he could still be our perp.

Guy does two decades
Behind bars.

Comes out
With a new appetite.

- forensics put him
At the crime scene?

- not in lily's apartment,
But his prints

Are all over the fire escape.

Blood trail goes down to the
Street, stops at the curb.

- so he must have put her
Into a car.

Did donovan own a vehicle?

- nothing registered
Under his name,

But it could have been
Borrowed, stolen, rented.

- munch and fin are calling
Cab companies, gypsy cabs.

- what about his apartment?
- csu checked. It's all clean.

- you two have history.
Use it to sweat him.

Find out where
He stashed the girl.

- or buried her.

Where is she, donovan?

- I don't know.

- wrong answer.

- it's the only
One I got.

- and now I got you.

- you're fitting me
For a frame.

- no, you put yourself
In it.

Your peeping tom routine
Led us right to you.

- the only time
I've seen that girl

Was in the stairwell.

And I wasn't looking
Up her skirt.

- I'm sure you got plenty
Watching from the fire escape.

- sure, that's how I get up
To the roof.

- what's wrong
With the stairs?

- the fire escape is
Right outside my window.

I like to be outdoors
Where I can breathe.

So I sit on the roof.

- and on the way up,
You watch lily.

Getting dressed,
In the shower, having sex.

Would you slide your hands
Down your pants,

Pretending that's you
In there with her?

- who's the pervert now?

- all those years
Without a woman.

You're a pro at fantasy.

You get tired
Of just thinking about it,

So you go up there
And you do

All the things
That you've dreamed up

All alone in your cell.

- I never did
Any of that.

- why would she lie?

- we paid $3,500 a month.

With that kind of money,

We shouldn't be assaulted
By our neighbors.

- donovan assaulted you?

- with his cigarette smoke.

It comes up
Through the vents.

The whole apartment
Reeks of it.

Lily's allergic.

- okay, that's
A landlord-tenant issue.

That's not a crime.

- we called the landlord.

He said he'd love
To turf donovan out.

That guy's on rent control.
He only pays $800.

- we moved into that apartment
Fresh off the boat.

I was ten.

And now some johnny-come-lately
Wants to tell me

I can't light up at home.

Try to be neighborly.
Smoke on the roof.

She's a nut.

- she's a saint.

Lily teaches art
To underprivileged kids.

Reads books on tape
For the blind.

She just started med school,
And that bastard killed her.

- we don't know that.
- look, he said he would.

He threatened her
With a knife.

He said he was going to
Cut her throat

Unless she stopped
Running her mouth.

- it was on my belt,
Not in my hand.

I'd just come from work.

- you got an answer
For everything, don't you?

- I got the truth.

Twist it however you want.

Won't change my story.

- that you're just
An ex-con,

Living a quiet,
Law-abiding life.

- I lost my mother
When I was in prison.

20 years passed me by
While I sat in that cage.

So I go to work
Every day,

Visit my parole officer
Once a week,

And piss in a cup
When he asks me to.

I'm not giving anyone
Any excuse

To put me back inside.

I didn't touch the girl.

Sure, she was
A pain in the ass.

- and so are you, cal.
What happened?

Freedom get boring?

You want detective stabler
To lock you up again?

- petra, how'd you know
I was here?

- veronique phoned me
When you didn't show

For your date.

I made some calls.

Petra gilmartin.

I'd like to speak
To my client alone.

- you like donovan for this?

- he's got history
With the victim

That includes
Voyeurism and threats.

- and you've got
A history with him.

- well, I haven't given
Donovan a thought

Since the day
That I collared him.

- what about the boyfriend?

You bother to rule him out?

- munch and fin did.

Lily was last seen at school
Around 5:00.

Parker hubbard was
At work until 10:00.

He was still
On the phone with a colleague

When he walked in
On the crime scene.

- for now,
Donovan's our guy.

- humor me with some proof.

- he's been watching lily
From the fire escape.

- and what about
The boyfriend?

Did he ever see donovan
Out there?

- no, but lily
Told him about it.

- ah, that's hearsay.

Guys, until you find
Some admissible evidence

Against your old pal donovan,
We can't hold him here.

- cut him loose,
It's going to give him time

To clean up after himself,

Which is going to make it
That much harder

For us to get
That evidence.

- [knocks]

Charge him
Or come say good-bye.

The next time
You want to talk to my client,

Call me first.

- you better clear
Your schedule.

See you soon.

- if I'm not at home,
You can find me at work.

Pier 19 over in bayonne.

- hey.

Where's lily, you freak?
- wait, wait.

- not resisting,
Not resisting.

[groans]
- hey!

That's enough out of you.
- I'll kill you!

- knock it off!
- you okay, cal?

- pervert, I'll kill you!

- yeah.

- the boyfriend?
- yeah.

- yeah, I'll give him
A free pass

Under the circumstances,
But he touches my client again,

He's doing time.

- look at him.

He knows we're watching
He's cool as a cucumber.

- give him time.
He'll crack.

- detectives.

I pulled donovan's time card
Like you asked.

- clocked out at 5:00.

That's plenty of time
To go home and pay lily a visit.

- he didn't go home.
It was payday.

Me and the boys went over
To mcglades, had a few.

- how late was he there?

- I left about 7:00.

He was still drinking
When I took off.

- well, like you said,
Still plenty of time.

- I know about cal's past.

Told me when I hired him.

People change, detective.

- not always for the better.

- you know, I'm going to have
Munch and fin sit on donovan.

I don't want to stand out here
In the hot sun.

Let's go get a cold one, huh?

- why are you asking
About cal donovan?

- there was some trouble

At his apartment building
Last night.

- cal had nothing
To do with it.

He was here.

- what time did he leave?

- ah, around 8:00.

- boyfriend didn't get home
Till close to 10:30 last night.

- boyfriend?
Whose boyfriend?

Was cal with a girl?

- do you always take
This much interest

In your customers'
Personal lives?

- frankie, take over.
- sure thing.

- I've known cal donovan
Since I was a kid.

He broke my heart
When he got locked up.

20 years later,
He walks in here

And orders a drink,
Says, "Hey, betty jean."

Just like he'd seen me
Yesterday.

- so you got back together?

- well, maybe this time,
We can make a go of it.

- so cal was
With you last night?

- he had a load on.

Kept after me
To go upstairs to my place,

But then he couldn't
Cut the mustard.

I said it was the drink.
Happens to a lot of guys.

He called me a whore.

Broke a lamp
And stormed out.

- donovan comes home
Drunk, horny, and pissed off.

He goes up the fire escape
To grab a smoke on the roof.

He sees lily,
The yuppie bitch

Who has been making
His life miserable.

She's home alone.
It's the perfect storm.

- works for me.

Hey, captain.

We're on our way.

The crew on a dredger
Spotted a girl's body

Floating in the water
Right off staten island.

The description
Matches lily's.

- special victims.

M.E. Take the body?

- no body.
- you couldn't recover her?

- no, your girl's alive.

Barely, but still breathing.

Another miracle
On the hudson.

- cardiac arrest en route.
Barely got her back.

Temp's 88.
- she's hypothermic.

Prep her for
Bypass and ecmo.

- is she going to make it?

- she's not dead
Until she is warm and dead.

- how's lily?

- they're warming her blood.

She was in the water
A long time.

- oh, god. I have to tweet this.
Her followers need to know.

- her followers?

- I started a twitter account
Last night: "Where's lily?"

We already have over
2,300 friends.

- great.
Now we got online looky-loos.

- detectives.
We got lily's temp up.

She is conscious,
But she's showing signs

Of post-traumatic
Retrograde amnesia.

- what does that mean?

- she's experiencing
Some memory loss.

- we need to talk to her now.

- and she needs to rest.

- I have
A great bedside manner.

- lily.

I was so worried
About you, babe.

- oh.
- the cops.

They need to talk to you.

- cops?

What happened?
Am I in trouble?

- no, lily.

But we found you
In the hudson river.

Do you know
How you got there?

- no.

- so what's the last thing
You do remember?

- I was coming
Home from school, uh...

It was 7:00, but it was so hot
I just--I took a shower.

Um...

I heard someone
In the apartment.

- did you see who it was?

- a man.
- was it--?

- hold on.
Did you see who it was?

- I think it was
The creep from downstairs,

But I'm not sure.
It was all so blurry.

- it's okay.
It's okay.

So what happened next?

- uh, there was
Glass breaking,

And, um, stuff falling,
And my head hurt.

I think I passed out.

- and where were you
When you came to?

- I was in a car,
And then a dark room.

And it was freezing cold,
And the door was locked.

And someone put a bag
Over my head,

And then
I couldn't breathe.

Then I was falling and--

- okay, that's enough.

Everyone out.
- [sobs]

- victim make an I.D.?
- not a solid one.

Maybe it was
The creep from downstairs,

Plus a diagnosis
Of traumatic amnesia.

Donovan's lawyer's going to
Make mincemeat out of her.

- let me guess--
No trace evidence.

- the river washed her clean.

- anything to put
The cuffs on donovan?

- timeline works.
- run it for me.

- well, he left
Betty jean's place around 8:00.

He goes to his apartment,
Grabs lily,

Stashes her somewhere,

And he's back
At his apartment

By the time we get there
At 11:00.

- three hours is a lot of time.

He could have
Driven her anywhere.

Dumped her in the river.

- well, there's no way
Lily was in the water all night.

The currents would have
Washed her out to sea.

- maybe he wanted
A little more fun with her.

But when we got onto him,
He went back to his hidey-hole,

And that's when he throws her
In the river.

- okay, but when?

Munch and fin have been
Sitting on him all day.

Donovan's been at his job.

- he works on the docks.

Pretty convenient place
To dump somebody in the river.

- well, lily did say
That she was freezing.

And it's been
In the 90s all week.

Maybe she was in some
Refrigerated storage unit.

- liv, stay with the victim.

Elliot, see if they have
A walk-in on the docks.

- how long you going to
Keep us out of there?

I got a crew sitting idle,
And a shipment of tomatoes

Going south on me.

- just tell your boy donovan
To give it up.

We'll grab him and go.

Otherwise,
You're making marinara.

- detective, we got prints
Up the yin-yang.

But not lily's.

- no sign she was here?

- no blood or hair fibers.

- all right, keep checking.
She was kept here overnight.

She left something behind.
Don't look at me.

The guy costing you overtime
Is sitting right over there.

Anybody seen
This girl here?

You want to get back
On the clock, speak up.

She was here,
And someone saw her.

- come on,
Put the cuffs on me.

- not now, but soon.

- I'll see you
When I see you.

- you will.
Working hard?

- following parker hubbard's
Tweet fest.

- "Lily's resting.

Thanks for all
The love and support."

- most of the posts
Are from strangers

Claiming they spotted lily
Before you found her.

- or people
With crazy theories,

Like she was abducted by aliens
Or white slavers.

At least they didn't tie up
Our tip line.

- too bad nobody
Saw her with donovan.

- maybe somebody did.
How about this one from tracie?

"Saw her around midnight,
Arguing outside my store

With some angry-looking dude.
Wish I'd done something."

- we saw that
And ruled it out.

Donovan was
In the interrogation room

With you at midnight.

- maybe tracie
Got the time wrong.

- no way.
- you're sure about that?

- I know exactly
What time it was.

I get off at 1:00 a.M.,
So I was watching the clock.

That girl was outside
Going at it with some guy.

- okay, with him?

- uh-uh.
Definitely not.

He was asian, like, ugly cute,
And much, much younger.

Did I just
Solve the crime?

- well, maybe the girl
That you saw

Just resembles lily.

- it was lily.
I've got the receipt somewhere.

- you didn't say
She came in here.

- I didn't?

I guess I was
Caught up in the fight

And her being
A murder victim.

- she's not dead.

- I knew it.
Lily milton.

Came in at 11:23 p.M.
Used terminal 5 for 46 minutes.

Our boss has us copy I.D.S
In case some terrorist

Uses our computers.

Do you want me to log you in
To the terminal she used?

- no, I don't want you
To touch it

Until I get
A tech down here.

- who's billy chang?

- why do you want to know
About him?

Billy didn't kidnap me.
He's just some guy I know.

- but he's also
A former med student

Who happens to have a rap sheet
For selling crystal meth.

- I don't know
Anything about that.

- you don't?

Then explain these e-mails.

"Billy, can you stop by?"

"Billy, where are you?"

"Billy, get the hell
Over here."

- that isn't my
E-mail address.

- no, it's not the one
Your friends use.

Our tech proved
That it was set up

On your home computer
Six months ago.

- okay, so it's mine.

Does being the victim
Of a crime

Give you guys the right
To hack through my e-mails?

- no, but you're not a victim,
Either, are you?

- I was abducted.
- no, you weren't.

You were not assaulted.

You weren't kidnapped
Or tossed into the river.

You were online at copy qwik
Scoring drugs.

- no, you don't understand.

- okay, so make us
Understand, lily.

Hmm?

Make us understand.

- I had a crappy day
At school.

In anatomy class,
They gave me

This ugly old woman
Cadaver,

And it creeped me out
Just to touch her.

When I got home,
My skin was crawling.

- so you pulled off your clothes
When you got home,

And you jumped
Into the shower.

- I didn't want to smell
Like dead old lady

For my special night
With parker.

So I got ready, but then--
He didn't--he didn't show up.

So I got really pissed.

- so you needed a little
Something to take the edge off.

So you e-mailed
Billy crystal meth.

- yeah, but he didn't answer.

You don't know
What it's like, all right?

I know I had a stash
Somewhere in that house.

I just couldn't find it.
- you trashed your apartment.

You banged your head
On the mirror.

- my god, there was blood
Everywhere.

I just--when I saw
How bad it looked,

I just--I freaked out.

- parker doesn't know
About your little habit?

- no, I heard him on his phone
Out in the hallway,

So I just took off
Down the fire escape,

And I got in a cab,
And I went to this place

Where billy hangs out.

- and he wasn't there,
So you went to copy qwik

And sent him another e-mail.

- while I was waiting
To hear from him,

I saw what parker
Had been posting.

That I'd been the victim
Of this horrible crime.

- and you saw all the attention
It was getting.

All the people
Who were worried about you.

- what was I going to say?

That I'd flipped out
'cause I couldn't score?

It was just easier
To go along with it.

- and you couldn't
Hide out forever,

So you jumped
Into the river.

- I didn't know
It would take you guys

So long to rescue me.

Well, I almost died!

- hey, what do you--
You want pity from us?

You were willing to send
An innocent man to prison

To cover your ass?
- no.

No, I'm so sorry.

- sorry doesn't cut it.

Where are you going?

- to apologize.

Donovan.

Donovan.

Thought I'd find you up here.

Hey, wait a minute.
I wanted to--

- [grunts]

[indistinct
Radio dispatch]

- 10-13.
Officer down.

- does he do this often?
- what?

Almost die
In the line of duty?

- take a nap
Halfway through his tour.

- I'm still alive.
I can hear you ladies.

Any sign of donovan?

- not yet,
But we're going to get him.

Half the department's
Looking for him.

- and the other half
Is drowning their sorrows.

- okay.
- shh.

- whoa, whoa, you're not
Going anywhere.

- I'm a little banged-up.
I'm fine.

- not until the docs
Run every test,

And the mayor gets here
To shake your hand.

- yeah, before the parade
Of brass comes,

I'm going to take off.

Let me know
When you find donovan.

And don't touch
A hair on his head, okay?

Otherwise I got problems.

- tell me
You found donovan.

- patrol's watching
His job site,

His girlfriend's bar.
No sign of him.

But I dumped
Donovan's phones.

Most frequent caller is
A veronique st. John.

- sounds like a porn star.
- no, I know that name.

That's the lady
Who sent donovan's lawyer

When he was a no-show
For their date.

- they got to be
Knocking boots

If the girl's got his attorney
On speed dial.

- veronique st. John?

- yes.

- when is the last time
You saw callum donovan?

- he came by last night.

- he tell you
We were looking for him?

- I don't ask
My clients questions.

- you're a hooker?

- the hell I am.

- well, you said client.

- this is a private
Group home.

Mr. Donovan's mother
Is a resident here.

- cal said
He lost his mother.

- she is lost.
Alzheimer's.

Most days,
Mrs. Donovan is 17.

She calls her son tommy,
And thinks he is her first love,

But the real tommy
Died in world war ii.

- how often
Does he visit her?

- every night.

- and which room
Is mrs. Donovan's?

It's over, cal.

- I'll come quietly.

Just--please don't wake her.

- you threw my friend
Off a roof.

You got nothing coming.

- [gasps]
Tommy?

- I got to go, fiona.

We're shipping out.

- one last kiss
For your best girl?

I love you, tommy.

- I love you too.

Now be a good girl,
And go back to sleep.

Thank you.

- I didn't do it for you.

- hey!

- donovan, freeze!

- [grunts]

- don't move.

- [grunts]
Get up.

- do it.
Come on.

What are you waiting for?

I killed your partner.

Shoot me.
- he's not dead.

- [cries out]

- I'm a dangerous man.

Rapist, kidnapper.
Take me off the streets.

You'll get a medal for it.

- lily lied.

Elliot was coming
To apologize to you.

- apologize?

- if you'd waited a moment
Longer, you'd be a free man.

- come on, let's go.

- glad to see donovan's
In one piece.

- so am I.
Thanks for asking.

- where's his lawyer?

- meeting him at arraignments.

- good, just make sure
No one talks to him.

Including you.

- lady, I've had
One hell of a bad day.

I'm in no mood
To be told what to do.

- stabler.

God.

- get up.

Get up.

Get up, get up.

- elliot.
- take your hands off him.

- I don't work for you.

- I'm not going to watch you
Brutalize a prisoner in custody.

- I wasn't going to lay
A finger on him.

- oh, really?
You could have fooled me.

- I was transferring him
To central booking.

- well, under the circumstances,
That's not appropriate.

- it's my case.

- no, you're not
The case detective.

You're the victim.

Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
Does that word offend you?

Big, strong elliot stabler.

Can't be anyone's victim
Right?

- you don't know me.
- oh, trust me.

I read your file.

- you know something?

You've had
A hard-on for me

Since the day you walked
Into this squad.

- no, hon, not at all.

I got problems with anybody
Who doesn't play by the rules.

- no, your rules.

You act like
The law's holy scripture.

You don't give a damn
About the law.

You want control.

You don't know me.
You know me, I know you.

I see perps like you
Walk in here

Every day of the week.

They got to have control
Or the whole world falls apart.

But inside they're
Scared, weak, damaged.

[laughs]

Yeah.

- docket ending 1-2-7-0.

The people versus
Callum donovan.

One count attempted murder
In the first degree.

- how does
The defendant plead?

- not guilty.

- I'll hear the people
On bail.

- remand, your honor.

The defendant threw a cop
Off a roof.

- mr. Donovan thought
He was going to be arrested

For a crime
He didn't commit.

- well, he's here for the crime
He did commit.

- but he's not
Responsible for it.

Notice that we will be pursuing
A psychiatric defense.

- insanity?

There is no history
Of mental illness

In his prison records.

- the corrections department
Isn't known

For documenting
Its own crimes.

My client spent
The majority of his sentence

In solitary confinement,
Completely isolated,

With no human contact.

It made him psychotic.

- the defendant has been
Out of jail for over a year.

He's held a job,
Cares for his mother,

Has a girlfriend.
He's completely functional.

- he regressed under the threat
Of reincarceration.

- sounds like there are
Issues to argue

In front of the jury
At trial.

I'm remanding the defendant.

- please.
Don't put me back in there.

- will the court
Instruct corrections

To house mr. Donovan
In gen pop?

- I have no authority
Over the d.O.C.

The use of solitary confinement
Is up to the prison warden.

- that's right.
Pass the buck.

You, you, you.

Put people in jail,
Walk away.

You don't give a damn
About torture.

- torture?
I'm sorry.

Were you beaten,
Water-boarded?

- what they did to me
Was just as bad.

- I'm sure we'll hear
All about it.

Next case.
[gavel bangs]

- docket ending 4-8-5-3.
People vs. Steven johnson.

Two counts of...

- stabler.

I got to talk to you.

Look, um, donovan's defense
Is completely bogus.

- that's what you
Had to tell me?

- yeah, well,
You and I can see through him,

But I'm not sure
The jury will.

- what do you want from me?

- when he's on the stand,

I want you
To stare him down, all right?

Make him look you in the eye
When he moans to the jury

About how it wasn't his fault
That he threw you off the roof.

We got to make the son
Of a bitch squirm, stabler.

- [sighs]

I really got
To hand it to you, sonya.

You know how to get
Under people's skin.

- right. Yeah,
About what happened

In the--
In the interview room.

Uh, could we just
Call it a truce?

- truce.

- I'm glad someone's
Finally airing

The prison system's
Dirty laundry.

- are you buying
Donovan's bs?

- humans
Are social creatures.

Prolonged isolation
Warps our humanity.

- that's what happened
To you, munch?

- donovan is
A hard man.

He's playing like
A little alone time

Made him crazy?
Give me a break.

- the brits did a study
Of solitary confinement.

They found it causes
Psychosis.

They stopped using it.

- you got to control
The prison somehow.

The hole's a good way
To do it.

- funny, when some prisons
Stopped using isolation,

Inmate violence went down.

- you stop treating
Convicts like animals,

They act like men.
I'll buy that.

But that does not mean
Solitary is torture.

- then why was it
The preferred method of torture

Used on the hostages in iran,
The p.O.W.S in vietnam,

And at abu ghraib?

The mind can survive prison,
But we're not wired to be alone.

- when I was
In prison undercover,

The worst part
Was never being alone.

No private time,
No quiet time.

Even on the toilet.

I would have killed
To do a stint in the hole.

- we buy free-range chickens,

Because we believe
They're healthier,

Not being trapped in cages.

We care more
About poultry than people.

- you want to take pity
On donovan?

He threw me off a roof.

- this is a smokescreen.

To make the jury forget
What this is really about.

He tried to kill a cop.

- the blue wall
Should remind him.

- mr. Donovan.

Why were you put
In solitary confinement?

- when I got to prison,

The aryan brotherhood
Told me it was my duty

As a white man
To join them,

And I told them no
In a few choice words.

When they tried to jump me
In the showers,

I shivved
The racist freaks.

One of them
Never walked again.

- so the warden threw you
In the hole.

What year was that?

- 1993.

- and you stayed
In solitary until...

- six months before
I got paroled in '07.

- 14 years.
For a fight?

- it was supposed
To be six months.

But when the guards came
To let me out,

I was totally paranoid.

I thought they were
Coming to kill me,

So I fought back.

They tacked on more time.

The same thing
Kept happening.

In the end,
They just left me there.

- all that time alone.

What was it like?

- death.

Except
You're still breathing.

And all you hear is
The sound of that breath.

For days, months.

Years.

- what did you do every day,
Alone in that cell?

- at first you'd sleep.

12, 14 hours at a time.

But then you can't sleep
Anymore.

So I'd watch my shadow

Till it turned
Into someone else.

It started talking to me.

- your shadow?

- I knew the voice
Was in my head.

But I couldn't
Shut it out.

It was always
There whispering.

"Swallow your tongue."

"Pluck your eyes out."

"Chew off your hands,
Come on, you can do it."

Even now when I'm alone,

I sometimes still
Hear that voice.

- how do you cope now?

- I work.

I walk for hours.

I'm afraid to sleep.

I sit on the roof
All night,

Listen to the city.

Any sound
To block out that voice.

- and when detective stabler
Came up on that roof?

- I heard the shadow
Laughing at me.

I felt it pulling me
Back down into that hole.

Detective stabler,

You'll never know
What it's like

To be truly alone.

To go through endless days
Without seeing a face

Or hearing a voice.

You can't imagine it

Unless you wind up
There yourself.

- I shouldn't be
Letting you in here.

- you owe me.

- this settles the debt.

That's donovan's cell.

You sure about this?

- yeah, open it.

- rack 66.

Don't do anything stupid.

[metallic clang]

- hey.
What time is it?

[groans]

[indistinct
Whispering voices]

[grunting]

[wails]

Hello?

Hey.

[indistinct
Whispering voices]

[gasping]

[metallic clang]

[hinges squeaking]

You son of a bitch. I said
Three days, not a week.

- it was three days.

I swear.

It's sunday night,
When you told me to let you out.

- [knocks]

- where the hell you been?

- at the hole.

I want to
Drop the charges.

- [laughs]
Don't be a wuss, stabler.

You took a bad trip
In your own head, and now what?

You feel sorry
For donovan?

Well, that's your problem.

Mine is convicting
A would-be cop killer

Who thinks doing
A little time

Gives him the right
To whack the first cop

Who looks at him cross-eyed.

- it's not that simple.
- actually, it is.

If donovan walks,
It's open season

On law enforcement for any perp
Who did a day in the hole.

- look, you don't
Have to set a precedent.

Just cut him a deal.

- if I plea bargain donovan,

He's out in five years,
And then what?

Does he run down the cop
Who pulls him over for speeding?

I won't take that chance.

- if I report you for assault,
The d.A. Will suspend you.

- go ahead.

Thought so.

You may have lost
Your balls in lock-up,

But I've still got mine.

- has the jury
Reached a verdict?

- we have, your honor.

- will the defendant
Please stand?

On the sole count
Of the indictment,

Attempted murder
In the first degree,

What is your verdict?

- guilty.

- [cheers]

[gavel bangs]

- ladies and gentlemen
Of the jury,

Thank you
For your service.

You are excused.

I'll see you all back here
Next week for sentencing.

Court is adjourned.

[gavel bangs]

- we all know
Where I'm going.

Back to that box

For the rest
Of my life.

Give me the needle,
Why don't you?

Put me out of my misery.

You'd do it for a sick dog.
Why not me?

- court officers,
Remove the defendant.

- please.
Please, don't do this.

I'm begging you.
Please.

Please, don't do this.

Please.

Please, don't do this.

Please.

Please.

Please, don't do this.

- hey, stabler.

Here, I'll get
The next round.

Two more, please.

Olivia said
I'd find you here.

Thank you.

So.

To a good day
For the people.

- I don't think so.

- you think I don't
Feel sorry for donovan?

'cause I do.
- you feel sorry for him.

Good for you.

You had shot
To do the right thing,

And you didn't.

Thanks for the drink.

- gave him haldol.
Better living through chemistry.

- who tuned him up?

- the face?
He did it to himself.

Smashed his head
Against that wall.

Didn't stop until the doc
Gave him the shot.

Okay, donovan, let's go.
Infirmary.

- wait a minute,
He doesn't need any more drugs.

- he's not getting any.

Warden ordered him
Transferred to the medical unit.

Once he's stable,
He's in gen pop.

- thanks.

- it wasn't me.

The warden suddenly
See the light?

- not until your d.A.
Shined it in his eyes.

She wouldn't take no
For an answer.

Say good-bye
To the hole.

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