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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,265 --> 00:00:07,223 Previously on "Grosse Pointe Garden Society"... 2 00:00:07,224 --> 00:00:09,486 - I guess I wasn't around much. - But you are now. 3 00:00:09,487 --> 00:00:11,445 - So what do you got? - Some real dirt on Brett. 4 00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:13,055 - What'd he do? - Your wife. 5 00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:16,319 Ought to give it to you, man. Really underestimated you. 6 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:19,192 - How far along are you? - Please don't tell him. 7 00:00:19,193 --> 00:00:21,437 You do not want to be alone with me right now. 8 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:22,543 [LOCK CLICKS] 9 00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:23,892 When Patty was a weather girl, 10 00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:25,111 she worked with Skip Harding. 11 00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:27,610 Was he the one who sexually harassed her? 12 00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:29,854 - More mutual. - As long as you have a dog, 13 00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:31,197 I'll never have a grandchild. 14 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:32,248 She got rid of Gail. 15 00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:34,367 Maybe she also got rid of Molly. 16 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:35,535 You still have the gun, right? 17 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,774 Then all we need is Tucker 18 00:00:36,775 --> 00:00:39,168 to call his old FBI buddies, and they'll run tests. 19 00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:41,431 - [BOTH GRUNTING] - Knock it off! 20 00:00:41,432 --> 00:00:43,129 He's in love with my wife, Dad. 21 00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:47,454 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 22 00:00:48,221 --> 00:00:51,137 [VOCALIZING] 23 00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:55,461 [DESTROYER'S "HYDROPLANING OFF THE EDGE OF THE WORLD"] 24 00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:02,974 Marilyn has got a lot of nerve. 25 00:01:02,975 --> 00:01:04,759 It's not that bad. 26 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,326 Table 13? 27 00:01:06,327 --> 00:01:08,241 We don't know where that is. 28 00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:09,841 Look, this isn't the first time 29 00:01:09,842 --> 00:01:11,200 she's pulled a stunt like this. 30 00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:13,724 Remember our table at Smiles for Miles? 31 00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:15,199 They had to send a search party 32 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,164 - to refill our bread basket. - Exactly, exactly. 33 00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:22,646 Oh, hey, what about these, huh? 34 00:01:22,647 --> 00:01:23,865 They're neon. 35 00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:25,585 Well yeah, but this is what's hip now. 36 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,129 Our rave days are over, woman. 37 00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,652 Stop. [LAUGHS] 38 00:01:28,653 --> 00:01:30,673 Look, all I'm saying is, our daughter-in-law 39 00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:31,799 is on the gala committee. 40 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,676 We deserve better than steerage. 41 00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:35,553 We'll be on the dance floor anyway. 42 00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:37,013 Oh, with that back of yours? 43 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,097 No, I don't think so. 44 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,932 Doesn't matter where you sit, my dear. 45 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:43,319 It's that you can afford to be there. 46 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,321 I wish that were enough. 47 00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:48,107 This is Grosse Pointe. 48 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,631 Oh, hey, what about those? 49 00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:51,936 Look. 50 00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:53,808 [MYSTERIOUS MUSIC] 51 00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:55,766 Dougie has these. 52 00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:58,726 - Old school. - Yeah, but I love them. 53 00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:01,163 You should try them on. 54 00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:02,599 Maybe I will. 55 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,145 Let's see if they have them in women's. 56 00:02:05,146 --> 00:02:09,236 - Do you... - Absolutely. Be right there. 57 00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:17,092 Stitching a quilt is like planting a garden. 58 00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:19,660 [LIGHT MUSIC] 59 00:02:19,661 --> 00:02:22,224 Just like you pull out dead flowers 60 00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:23,403 to birth new life, 61 00:02:23,404 --> 00:02:26,812 pieces of discarded fabric come together 62 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,886 to create something beautiful. 63 00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:31,192 But why waste your time planting 64 00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:34,153 something that'll die when a quilt lasts forever? 65 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:38,602 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 66 00:02:39,028 --> 00:02:40,463 Lose the succulents, Donna. 67 00:02:40,464 --> 00:02:42,036 No, no, no, closer to the bar. 68 00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:43,496 It's a fundraiser. Gotta keep people 69 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,830 good and drunk while they're gambling. 70 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:48,776 [SINGING IN FRENCH] 71 00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:50,586 Salad forks on the outside, please. 72 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,779 Thank you. 73 00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,650 Ooh, what the hell is Pet Jet? 74 00:02:53,651 --> 00:02:55,633 Private jet for your pet, silly. 75 00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,045 My ex-husband donated it. 76 00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:58,220 He's an investor. 77 00:02:58,221 --> 00:02:59,799 Um, people actually use this? 78 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,681 Well, not as much as Pet Jet Vet, 79 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,116 where you can medevac your pet anywhere in the world 80 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,140 to a concierge vet. 81 00:03:05,141 --> 00:03:06,881 Oh, that makes way more sense. 82 00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:08,665 You know, you should try and win that 83 00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,841 for that new puppy of yours, Alice. 84 00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:14,323 Turns out our landlord isn't as dog-friendly as we hoped. 85 00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:16,978 You lost another fur baby? 86 00:03:16,979 --> 00:03:18,327 Oh, you poor thing. 87 00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:20,616 You've had way too much drama lately. 88 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:24,704 Yeah, that is why tonight is going to be drama-free. 89 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,372 That's right, check your worries 90 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,684 with your coats, bitches. 91 00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:29,626 And dance like nobody's watching. 92 00:03:29,627 --> 00:03:32,080 Uh, dance like everybody's watching. 93 00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:33,299 [LAUGHTER] 94 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,518 Here she is. 95 00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:38,042 - Oh, wow! - Oh, cool. 96 00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:40,610 [LIGHT MUSIC] 97 00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:41,721 Amazing. 98 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,220 Donna, get the steamer. 99 00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:48,227 So what are we looking at here, Doc? 100 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,228 Cervix is nice and closed. 101 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,260 Ah, perfect for the first trimester. 102 00:03:52,262 --> 00:03:53,580 Will you get out of there? 103 00:03:53,581 --> 00:03:55,817 Well, it's not like I haven't seen it before. 104 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:58,572 - Eyes above the equator, sir. - Don't worry, Dad. 105 00:03:58,574 --> 00:04:00,543 There'll be plenty of ways you can participate. 106 00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:02,390 [LAUGHS] He's not the dad. 107 00:04:02,392 --> 00:04:04,286 [PHONE RINGING] 108 00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:07,568 Sorry, emergency. 109 00:04:07,570 --> 00:04:08,666 Hi, Pam. 110 00:04:08,668 --> 00:04:09,770 What I was wondering was, 111 00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:12,292 if the hotel doesn't have a fitness center, 112 00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:14,252 why am I flying out a trainer? 113 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,995 [LAUGHS] 114 00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:22,391 So who's going to help you with the baby? 115 00:04:22,392 --> 00:04:24,350 My housekeeper. 116 00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:25,916 Oh, she works nights? 117 00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:29,050 There's literally nothing she won't do for money. 118 00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:32,271 And where were you planning on delivery? 119 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:36,107 Well, I did it in the girls' locker room first time. 120 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:41,081 So I'm open to any and all ideas. 121 00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:44,195 So how did we get here, Birdie? 122 00:04:44,196 --> 00:04:47,590 [SIGHS] 123 00:04:47,591 --> 00:04:52,290 OK, so you know when you're, like, rushing to lunch, 124 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,459 and you get in your car and you realize 125 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,044 you forgot your sunglasses. 126 00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:59,088 And then you debate, do I go back inside and be late, 127 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,591 or do I just squint my way through the day 128 00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:03,389 and risk a few extra wrinkles? 129 00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:04,955 Uh-huh. 130 00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:10,956 Now imagine the sunglasses are my birth control pills. 131 00:05:11,907 --> 00:05:13,137 Ah. 132 00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:16,576 [HEART BEATING] 133 00:05:16,577 --> 00:05:19,361 That sounds real. 134 00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:21,930 It's about as real as it gets. 135 00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:30,241 I know this can all be overwhelming, 136 00:05:30,242 --> 00:05:34,115 but I'm here, anything you need. 137 00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:37,640 Dr. Evans? 138 00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:40,991 What am I supposed to do? 139 00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:44,124 That one I can't help you with. 140 00:05:53,222 --> 00:05:56,104 I should have never picked so many shellfish appetizers. 141 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:58,531 Babe, it's going to go great. Come on. 142 00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:00,441 I'm going to have Donna pick up some EpiPens. 143 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,361 - [LAUGHS] - [PHONE CHIMES] 144 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,188 Oh, no, no, no! 145 00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:06,614 Don't tell me they forgot the props for the photo booth. 146 00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,491 Julie has to leave by 10:00. 147 00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:09,617 OK, deep breaths. 148 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,892 I'll relieve the babysitter. 149 00:06:11,893 --> 00:06:13,850 I just... 150 00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:16,026 I want tonight to be perfect. 151 00:06:16,027 --> 00:06:20,288 [MYSTERIOUS MUSIC] 152 00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:21,684 What is it? 153 00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:22,990 Something that could make your night 154 00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:24,743 a little less perfect. 155 00:06:27,098 --> 00:06:28,715 It's your friend's dog. 156 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,348 What if it's good news? 157 00:06:33,349 --> 00:06:34,601 What if it's bad? 158 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,090 Maybe the bullet doesn't match. 159 00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:37,718 Or it does. 160 00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:43,967 - What do I do? - Let's not open it. 161 00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:47,362 But... I want to. 162 00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:49,886 [SIGHS] 163 00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:52,894 Personally, I'd rather gamble at the roulette wheel. 164 00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:05,119 [BELL RINGS] 165 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,121 Gotta give it to you, man. 166 00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:08,992 Really underestimated you. 167 00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:10,646 I got fired today. 168 00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:13,968 Just bring back the axe when you're done. 169 00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:18,219 What's up? 170 00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:21,614 I think we probably both know what's up. 171 00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:24,530 Uh, excuse me. 172 00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:26,270 You guys still open? 173 00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:31,580 Uh, sorry, we're closed tonight for the garden gala. 174 00:07:31,581 --> 00:07:35,154 I'll come back tomorrow. 175 00:07:37,006 --> 00:07:40,023 [BELL RINGS, DOOR CLICKS] 176 00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:43,113 So what do you want, an apology? 177 00:07:43,114 --> 00:07:45,588 You humiliated me in front of the entire firm. 178 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:47,090 You tried to send me to jail. 179 00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:48,728 Now you're taking my wife too? 180 00:07:48,729 --> 00:07:52,739 So what, are you going to kill me? 181 00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:06,593 I'll just take your kids. 182 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,749 [BELL RINGS] 183 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:14,010 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 184 00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:20,760 Oh, we're the black Cadillac, second from front. 185 00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:22,239 Have a nice evening. 186 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,719 [EARTH, WIND & FIRE'S "BOOGIE WONDERLAND"] 187 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,548 ♪ Dance ♪ 188 00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:29,943 ♪ Boogie wonderland ♪ 189 00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:32,010 - Ooh, champagne. - Yes, please. 190 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,512 - Thank you. - Ooh, thank you. 191 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,210 - Howdy. - Hi. Good to see you. 192 00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:37,603 [GASPS] 193 00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:40,562 How is Melanie Dalton at table nine? 194 00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:43,730 Her husband makes all the car mats for the big three. 195 00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:45,872 Did he use the same material to make her dress? 196 00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:49,049 Oh, stop, that's bad. [CHUCKLES] 197 00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:50,703 Well, here we are. 198 00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:52,030 Not so bad. 199 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,533 But we're at table 13. 200 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,225 Not anymore. 201 00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:00,830 No one puts Patty in the corner. 202 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,976 ♪ Dance ♪ 203 00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:06,022 ♪ Boogie wonderland ♪ 204 00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:07,720 [LAUGHS] 205 00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:11,105 Well, now it's going to be a night to remember. 206 00:09:12,056 --> 00:09:16,880 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 207 00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:25,868 Brett. 208 00:09:25,869 --> 00:09:27,870 Oh, hey. 209 00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:29,192 I called you earlier to see 210 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:30,276 what time you were going to get here. 211 00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:31,569 Yeah, yeah, I've just been swamped 212 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,789 organizing this auction stuff. 213 00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:37,102 Hmm, three sessions with a certified life coach. 214 00:09:37,104 --> 00:09:38,951 Yeah, I guess that's all it takes 215 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:41,144 to get your life in order, huh? 216 00:09:41,145 --> 00:09:42,537 I might need a few more. 217 00:09:42,538 --> 00:09:45,758 [BOTH LAUGH] 218 00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:47,368 You look beautiful. 219 00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:50,632 You're not so bad yourself under all the dirt. 220 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:53,809 Well, I still can't figure out the bow tie thing. 221 00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:55,626 Oh. 222 00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:00,807 License to kill. 223 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,285 Hmm. 224 00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:07,854 Melissa... 225 00:10:07,856 --> 00:10:09,912 Have you been thinking what I've been thinking? 226 00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:12,393 Well, it depends on what you've been thinking. 227 00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:14,264 Well, what have you been thinking? 228 00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:18,051 I think... you should go first. 229 00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:24,052 OK, um, mine's about a kiss. 230 00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:26,929 I just... 231 00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:32,152 I don't know, it kind of felt like something more. 232 00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:35,285 Maybe 233 00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:38,419 it was just nostalgia. 234 00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:42,243 OK, this is the part where you tell me that I'm crazy. 235 00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:44,730 I can't. 236 00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:48,037 Well, then put me out of my misery. 237 00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:50,083 How? 238 00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:53,092 Just tell me how you feel. 239 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,699 Hey, hey, bud. Mind if I steal my wife back? 240 00:10:57,700 --> 00:11:00,180 Yeah, she's all yours. 241 00:11:00,181 --> 00:11:02,704 Let's find our table. 242 00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:05,533 Ooh. 243 00:11:05,534 --> 00:11:08,354 Can barely tell it's a rental. 244 00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:11,460 - Shall we? - Mm-hmm. 245 00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:14,585 ♪ Already know which way to go ♪ 246 00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:17,023 ♪ All this magic in the air ♪ 247 00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:19,895 ♪ Got me on another wave, oh ♪ 248 00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:21,244 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 249 00:11:21,245 --> 00:11:25,596 [LAUGHTER AND CHATTER] 250 00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:27,727 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 251 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,429 Place your bets. 252 00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:35,084 Why aren't you betting? 253 00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:36,912 I don't feel very lucky. 254 00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:38,697 I take great offense to that. 255 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,655 How is this about you? 256 00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:44,202 Find a more fabulous nanny this side of the pond. 257 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,878 [CHUCKLES] 258 00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:48,445 [APPLAUSE] 259 00:11:48,446 --> 00:11:50,166 This just isn't how I pictured 260 00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,622 doing it as a grown up, OK? 261 00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:56,951 Doesn't that hot cop of yours have some skin in this game? 262 00:11:58,152 --> 00:11:59,761 I can't tell Joel. 263 00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:01,720 Not very woke of you. 264 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,262 What if he doesn't want it? 265 00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:05,495 What if he does? 266 00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:10,903 Well, what if I don't? 267 00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:15,429 Then as soon as you plump up, we'll send you off to the farm. 268 00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,648 It's like I'm 16 all over again. 269 00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:20,390 At least you have more money. 270 00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:24,394 Why does the universe keep doing this to me? 271 00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:29,472 Because it's your chance to get it right this time. 272 00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:35,666 As long as we're bringing the universe into this... 273 00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:37,146 Stop. 274 00:12:37,147 --> 00:12:39,627 Red, we do this together. 275 00:12:39,629 --> 00:12:41,133 Black, farm. 276 00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,510 You're insane. 277 00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,110 - [CHUCKLES] - All betting's closed. 278 00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:49,436 [WHEEL CLICKING] 279 00:12:51,553 --> 00:12:55,625 [FINE YOUNG CANNIBALS' "SHE DRIVES ME CRAZY"] 280 00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:03,114 Hey, that one of your wife's signature cocktails? 281 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,198 Yeah, the Riviera. 282 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,915 Ah, barkeep, set me up with a Riviera. 283 00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:08,699 [BOTH LAUGH] 284 00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:14,096 ♪ I can't stop the way I feel ♪ 285 00:13:14,097 --> 00:13:16,711 It's none of my business, but I saw that dude 286 00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,013 disrespecting you earlier. 287 00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:19,145 Who, Connor? 288 00:13:19,146 --> 00:13:21,060 Yeah, know him from the kids' school. 289 00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:22,278 Not a fan. 290 00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:25,238 [SCOFFS] Can't help himself, I guess. 291 00:13:25,239 --> 00:13:26,848 You don't have to take it. 292 00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:30,182 Well, we have a complicated relationship. 293 00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:32,811 [SCOFFS] Seems simple to me. 294 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,464 What do you mean? 295 00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:36,147 Let's just say I've dealt with a lot 296 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,606 of threats in my line of work. 297 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,358 - OK. - We're no different today 298 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,090 than when we lived in caves. 299 00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,613 I mean, we are drinking Rivieras. 300 00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:45,954 [BOTH LAUGH] 301 00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:47,366 They're growing on me. 302 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:50,916 [LAUGHTER] 303 00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:54,310 I'm just saying, if someone had laid hands on me like that, 304 00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:57,183 they wouldn't find it so funny. 305 00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:58,880 Hey, Brett. 306 00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:01,143 Hey, look who finally showed up. 307 00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:02,579 Welcome to Club Riviera. 308 00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:05,539 [CHUCKLES] Have you guys seen Doug? 309 00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:06,888 He didn't come with you? 310 00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:07,933 No. 311 00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:08,977 She has your nose. 312 00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:10,239 Gary's eyes. 313 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,932 How has he been with everything? 314 00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,477 Amazing, OK? He does the night feeds. 315 00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:15,686 He cleans the bottles. 316 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,980 Wow, that man owes you. 317 00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:21,984 Mm-hmm, which is why he has promised 318 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:25,571 to win me a quilt for our baby room. 319 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,822 Well, you know, he's going to have some stiff competition. 320 00:14:27,823 --> 00:14:28,936 With who? 321 00:14:28,938 --> 00:14:30,871 You know Patty's not going to just let that go. 322 00:14:30,873 --> 00:14:33,537 Why does she want it so bad, anyway? 323 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:34,785 For her grandchild. 324 00:14:34,786 --> 00:14:35,786 [SCOFFS] 325 00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:38,137 You mean her imaginary grandchild? 326 00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:40,617 - Amanda. - Come on. 327 00:14:40,618 --> 00:14:43,272 She would make a horrible grandmother. 328 00:14:43,273 --> 00:14:44,926 - Oh, stop. - What? 329 00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:46,232 No one's in here. 330 00:14:46,233 --> 00:14:48,190 That's so mean. 331 00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:51,013 I'm sorry, but she is so judgy 332 00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:53,413 and, like, totally insecure. 333 00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:55,017 She's always been nice to me. 334 00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,459 And she's always acting like 335 00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:59,245 she is the queen of Grosse Pointe 336 00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:02,770 when she's not even from here. 337 00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:03,945 What? 338 00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:06,121 Grew up in Grosse Ile. 339 00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:08,732 - Shut up. - Mm-hmm. 340 00:15:08,733 --> 00:15:10,125 Ew! 341 00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:11,387 Yeah. 342 00:15:11,388 --> 00:15:16,653 [TOILET FLUSHING] 343 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:27,120 [WATER RUNNING] 344 00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:45,726 The only way you are getting that quilt 345 00:15:45,727 --> 00:15:48,468 is over my dead body. 346 00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:52,729 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 347 00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:57,767 Oh, my God. 348 00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:06,890 Donna! 349 00:16:08,184 --> 00:16:11,143 The auction is about to start, and I have dry mouth. 350 00:16:11,144 --> 00:16:12,636 - Mm-hmm. - Run to CVS. 351 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:13,667 Get me a Blow Pop. 352 00:16:13,668 --> 00:16:15,495 You know the grape kind with the gum? 353 00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:17,149 Mm-hmm. 354 00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:18,904 What's in your mouth? 355 00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:21,283 [GULPS] 356 00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:23,677 Nothing. 357 00:16:23,678 --> 00:16:25,244 [SNIFFING] 358 00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:26,692 Tell me I'm not smelling 359 00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:28,508 a mushroom tart right now, Donna. 360 00:16:28,509 --> 00:16:29,813 It was just one. 361 00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:31,489 Well, eat a prosciutto-wrapped asparagus. 362 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,656 No one wants those. 363 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,074 Oh. 364 00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:40,650 [CRASHING] 365 00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:41,738 Stop! 366 00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:43,250 That's enough! Stop! 367 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:44,480 [SHOUTING] 368 00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:47,129 Brett, stop! Someone do something! 369 00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:48,307 My God, stop! 370 00:16:48,309 --> 00:16:49,355 [SHOUTING] 371 00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:50,965 Brett! 372 00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:52,386 [SHOUTING] 373 00:16:52,388 --> 00:16:53,881 Help, help! 374 00:16:53,882 --> 00:16:55,512 Hey, knock it off! 375 00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:56,753 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 376 00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:58,103 Get off my son! 377 00:16:58,104 --> 00:16:59,475 Your son's a psycho! 378 00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:00,975 Get the hell out of here. 379 00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:03,669 How could you? 380 00:17:06,807 --> 00:17:10,070 Who knows you better, Alice, your husband or this joke? 381 00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:11,725 I'll just take your kids. 382 00:17:11,726 --> 00:17:13,553 I pick neither of you. 383 00:17:13,554 --> 00:17:15,824 If someone had laid hands on me like that, 384 00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:17,493 they wouldn't find it so funny. 385 00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,464 Just tell me how you feel. 386 00:17:23,216 --> 00:17:26,957 ♪ We spotted the ocean ♪ 387 00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:30,918 ♪ At the head of the trail ♪ 388 00:17:30,919 --> 00:17:35,096 ♪ Where are we goin' ♪ 389 00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:38,795 ♪ So far away? ♪ 390 00:17:38,796 --> 00:17:42,973 ♪ Somebody told me ♪ 391 00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:46,542 ♪ This is the place ♪ 392 00:17:46,543 --> 00:17:50,503 ♪ Where everything's better ♪ 393 00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:53,854 ♪ And everything's safe ♪ 394 00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:55,943 What are you doing? 395 00:17:55,944 --> 00:17:57,727 Telling you how I feel. 396 00:17:57,728 --> 00:18:02,114 [TOAD THE WET SPROCKET'S "WALK ON THE OCEAN"] 397 00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:10,131 ♪ Walk on the ocean ♪ 398 00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:14,222 ♪ Step on the stones ♪ 399 00:18:14,223 --> 00:18:17,399 ♪ Flesh becomes water ♪ 400 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:22,056 ♪ Wood becomes bone ♪ 401 00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:25,842 ♪ Walk on the ocean ♪ 402 00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:29,455 ♪ Step on the stones ♪ 403 00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:33,154 ♪ Flesh becomes water ♪ 404 00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:36,663 I'd recognize those curls anywhere. 405 00:18:38,073 --> 00:18:39,813 Skip Harding? 406 00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:41,327 WBIV's own. 407 00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:42,990 Wow, wow, wow! 408 00:18:42,991 --> 00:18:43,991 How long has it been? 409 00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:45,210 Gosh. 410 00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:46,665 [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] Forever. 411 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:48,126 [CHUCKLES] 412 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,128 - Oh, my. - [LAUGHS] 413 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,477 Oops, you have a... 414 00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:52,652 What? Oh. 415 00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:54,610 Oh, no. Oh, gosh. 416 00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:56,550 Looks like some dill from the endive. 417 00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:59,311 Mm, did I get it? 418 00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:02,848 Mm. Boy, do I miss that smile. 419 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,621 [CHUCKLES] 420 00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:07,971 Place was never the same after you left. 421 00:19:07,972 --> 00:19:10,757 Yeah, well, it was a fun time. 422 00:19:10,758 --> 00:19:12,900 Oh, we had a lot of fun. 423 00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:15,153 [BOTH LAUGH] 424 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:18,243 Well, that was another life. 425 00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:20,767 Would you ever think about coming back? 426 00:19:20,768 --> 00:19:22,534 - Oh, at my age? - Why not? 427 00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,336 No, no, no, no, no. 428 00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:26,705 Not really built for it anymore. 429 00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:29,750 Well, the Taj Mahal is 300 years old. 430 00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:30,959 Once you get inside her, 431 00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:32,213 it still takes your breath away. 432 00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:34,694 ♪ Grow sweeter each season ♪ 433 00:19:34,695 --> 00:19:36,870 [BOTH LAUGH] 434 00:19:36,871 --> 00:19:39,481 OK. 435 00:19:39,482 --> 00:19:41,929 Well, I'm not exactly camera-ready. 436 00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:44,051 What does that got to do with getting coffee? 437 00:19:44,052 --> 00:19:46,836 Mm. Why would I get coffee? 438 00:19:46,837 --> 00:19:49,658 Because you were the best assistant at the station. 439 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:54,714 I was... I was the weather girl, Skip. 440 00:19:54,715 --> 00:19:57,069 - Are you sure? - I was on-air talent. 441 00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:58,108 OK, OK, OK. 442 00:19:58,109 --> 00:19:59,284 I mean, don't you remember? 443 00:19:59,285 --> 00:20:01,699 "And now back to you, Skip, for sports." 444 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,283 - Right. - Yeah, that was me. 445 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:04,376 - Mm-hmm. - Me! 446 00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:07,901 Of course. Of course. Yeah, I remember. 447 00:20:07,902 --> 00:20:09,424 I remember. 448 00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:13,437 But why did you keep bringing me coffee? 449 00:20:14,474 --> 00:20:19,695 Because I stupidly thought you'd appreciate it. 450 00:20:19,696 --> 00:20:21,262 OK, don't freak out. 451 00:20:21,263 --> 00:20:24,179 I appreciated everything you had to offer. 452 00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:26,572 ♪ Were you lying all the time? ♪ 453 00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:30,010 I told him no vermouth, but he added it anyway. 454 00:20:30,011 --> 00:20:31,272 This is my wife, Brianna. 455 00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:33,492 [BOTH LAUGH] 456 00:20:33,493 --> 00:20:35,407 ♪ You know I'm such a fool for you ♪ 457 00:20:35,408 --> 00:20:37,147 You haven't changed a bit. 458 00:20:37,148 --> 00:20:38,627 [THE CRANBERRIES' "LINGER"] 459 00:20:38,628 --> 00:20:43,850 ♪ You got me wrapped around your finger ♪ 460 00:20:43,851 --> 00:20:46,592 ♪ Do you have to let it linger? ♪ 461 00:20:46,593 --> 00:20:49,421 ♪ Do you have to? ♪ 462 00:20:49,422 --> 00:20:53,468 ♪ Do you have to let it linger? ♪ 463 00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:59,126 ♪ Oh, I thought the world of you ♪ 464 00:20:59,127 --> 00:21:00,780 I put Dougie in an Uber. 465 00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:02,129 Thank you. 466 00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:04,436 ♪ I thought nothing could go wrong ♪ 467 00:21:04,437 --> 00:21:06,046 ♪ But I was wrong ♪ 468 00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:07,514 He's going up to the lake house 469 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:08,640 to cool his head. 470 00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:11,312 That's a great idea. 471 00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:13,881 I might meet him there tomorrow. 472 00:21:18,364 --> 00:21:20,843 Is that it? 473 00:21:20,844 --> 00:21:24,573 All right, everyone, it's the moment 474 00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:26,158 you've all been waiting for! 475 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,284 One more thing. 476 00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:28,329 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 477 00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:31,289 Let's raise some money to make our garden 478 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,373 really bloom this spring. 479 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:35,162 What do you say? 480 00:21:35,163 --> 00:21:36,642 Let's go win you that quilt. 481 00:21:36,643 --> 00:21:39,601 [CHEERING] 482 00:21:39,602 --> 00:21:41,124 Here. 483 00:21:41,125 --> 00:21:42,648 What is it? 484 00:21:42,649 --> 00:21:45,172 Medicine. 485 00:21:45,173 --> 00:21:47,348 Marilyn's going to have a stroke. 486 00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:49,350 How many cups did we lose? 487 00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:52,484 Basically 82 through 93. 488 00:21:52,485 --> 00:21:56,226 I just... I have never seen either of them like this. 489 00:21:56,227 --> 00:21:59,441 OK, this isn't my most feminist moment, 490 00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:03,799 but two guys fighting over you is kind of hot. 491 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:07,977 Oh, OK, that was about way more than you. 492 00:22:07,978 --> 00:22:11,995 Also, we are fully ignoring the fact 493 00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:14,248 that our little lady here just got herself 494 00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,029 a ticket to New York. 495 00:22:16,030 --> 00:22:18,205 Yeah. Oh, my God. 496 00:22:18,206 --> 00:22:20,754 How many magazines have rejected you over the years? 497 00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:23,689 Oh, I've lost track. 498 00:22:23,690 --> 00:22:27,761 Alice, you just got your dream job. 499 00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:29,782 [MELANCHOLY MUSIC] 500 00:22:29,783 --> 00:22:32,088 This night couldn't get any worse. 501 00:22:32,089 --> 00:22:36,223 [DOOR CLICKS] 502 00:22:36,224 --> 00:22:39,095 Babe, I've got it. 503 00:22:39,096 --> 00:22:40,706 We should brand these. 504 00:22:40,707 --> 00:22:43,317 Like the Real Housewives, yeah? 505 00:22:43,318 --> 00:22:45,319 How many of these have you had? 506 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,930 Well, you know... 507 00:22:47,931 --> 00:22:49,541 what the hell's going on? 508 00:22:49,542 --> 00:22:53,078 Oh, you know, Alice's husband just went full ham. 509 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:54,372 - Yeah. - Oh. 510 00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:56,127 Thought you weren't going to tell them. 511 00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:01,117 Tell us what? 512 00:23:01,118 --> 00:23:03,424 - Oops. - Nothing. 513 00:23:03,425 --> 00:23:06,934 Well, it doesn't sound like nothing. 514 00:23:09,605 --> 00:23:12,781 What did you not tell us? 515 00:23:12,782 --> 00:23:14,740 Not now, Alice. 516 00:23:14,741 --> 00:23:16,996 [SCOFFS] 517 00:23:19,354 --> 00:23:22,095 You got the results? 518 00:23:22,096 --> 00:23:24,271 Oh, no. 519 00:23:24,272 --> 00:23:26,217 Honey, this isn't... 520 00:23:26,219 --> 00:23:28,188 Did Patty do it? 521 00:23:28,189 --> 00:23:29,972 It's too much for tonight. 522 00:23:29,973 --> 00:23:33,759 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 523 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,077 Just say it. 524 00:23:39,809 --> 00:23:43,521 Up next, we have a lovely vacation rental in Charlevoix 525 00:23:43,523 --> 00:23:47,090 with a ski package for four at Boyne Mountain, 526 00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:49,927 - plus dinner at Tap 30. - Hey. 527 00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,595 So let's start the bidding at $1,500. 528 00:23:51,597 --> 00:23:53,518 - Brett! - I really want to make this right. 529 00:23:53,519 --> 00:23:54,806 - Not the best time. - OK, Steven, 530 00:23:54,808 --> 00:23:56,129 get that vacay for your wife. 531 00:23:56,130 --> 00:23:57,391 I don't know what happened. 532 00:23:57,392 --> 00:23:58,479 Brett! 533 00:23:58,480 --> 00:23:59,853 I lost control. 534 00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:01,439 She's good, bro. 535 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,137 Part of me was, like, defending you. 536 00:24:04,138 --> 00:24:06,182 Sit down, Brett. 537 00:24:06,183 --> 00:24:07,880 Going three times. Sold! 538 00:24:07,881 --> 00:24:12,393 [APPLAUSE] 539 00:24:13,626 --> 00:24:17,019 And now the pièce de résistance. 540 00:24:17,020 --> 00:24:20,290 Do I hear 2,500? 541 00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:22,776 Keep in mind, this isn't any old blanket, folks. 542 00:24:22,778 --> 00:24:25,811 Each of these squares depicts 543 00:24:25,812 --> 00:24:28,596 a little piece of Grosse Pointe history. 544 00:24:28,597 --> 00:24:32,636 Ah, 2,500 for Amanda Mills. 545 00:24:32,638 --> 00:24:33,720 Thank you, Amanda Mills. 546 00:24:33,722 --> 00:24:35,168 Do I hear 3,000? 547 00:24:35,169 --> 00:24:36,169 [PHONE CHIMES] 548 00:24:36,170 --> 00:24:37,300 Can I go higher? 549 00:24:37,301 --> 00:24:40,309 Sure. 550 00:24:41,001 --> 00:24:42,436 3,000. OK. 551 00:24:42,437 --> 00:24:44,612 We are just getting started here, folks. 552 00:24:44,613 --> 00:24:46,614 Who wants to take it up a notch? 553 00:24:46,615 --> 00:24:48,318 Hank, Hank, I'm looking at you. 554 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,444 Your wife's face is telling me that you do. 555 00:24:50,445 --> 00:24:52,155 There you go, 3,000. 556 00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:54,666 Do I hear 3,500? 557 00:24:54,667 --> 00:24:58,844 OK, put a little sizzle on that steak, 558 00:24:58,845 --> 00:25:01,498 which was donated tonight by Village Market. 559 00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:03,109 Thank you, Village. 4,000? 560 00:25:03,110 --> 00:25:06,242 Ooh, OK, there you go. Hot, hot, hot. 561 00:25:06,243 --> 00:25:08,588 Do I hear 4,500? 562 00:25:08,590 --> 00:25:11,421 4,500, you know what's next. 5,000. 563 00:25:11,422 --> 00:25:12,858 Do I hear 5,000? 564 00:25:12,859 --> 00:25:16,165 [WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART'S "REQUIEM"] 565 00:25:16,166 --> 00:25:20,739 [MUFFLED AUCTIONEER CHATTER] 566 00:25:39,625 --> 00:25:41,628 [GAVEL BANGS] 567 00:25:50,592 --> 00:25:53,975 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 568 00:26:03,257 --> 00:26:05,171 That bitch killed my dog. 569 00:26:05,172 --> 00:26:09,433 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 570 00:26:12,962 --> 00:26:15,616 Sorry, ma'am, that's not your car. 571 00:26:15,617 --> 00:26:17,365 Well, what is taking so long? 572 00:26:17,367 --> 00:26:20,142 We're really backed up. 573 00:26:20,143 --> 00:26:22,492 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 574 00:26:22,493 --> 00:26:24,122 What the hell are you doing? 575 00:26:24,124 --> 00:26:25,408 We gotta talk, lady. 576 00:26:25,409 --> 00:26:28,043 - [PHONE CHIMES] - I know. I need to get home. 577 00:26:28,045 --> 00:26:30,283 Yours is coming. 578 00:26:30,284 --> 00:26:32,297 Well, tell them to hurry up. 579 00:26:32,299 --> 00:26:35,114 It's an emergency! 580 00:26:35,115 --> 00:26:36,898 [PHONE CHIMES] 581 00:26:36,899 --> 00:26:38,552 [LOCKS CLICK] 582 00:26:38,553 --> 00:26:40,815 What are you doing? 583 00:26:40,816 --> 00:26:42,338 Going for a ride. 584 00:26:42,339 --> 00:26:45,777 [TIRES SCREECHING] 585 00:26:45,778 --> 00:26:47,854 Will you please chill? 586 00:26:47,856 --> 00:26:49,911 Oh, 'cause you're with child now? 587 00:26:49,912 --> 00:26:51,391 [ENGINE REVVING] 588 00:26:51,392 --> 00:26:53,349 OK, let me out. 589 00:26:53,351 --> 00:26:56,238 What happened to women lifting up other women? 590 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,824 That's just something women like to say to other women. 591 00:26:58,826 --> 00:27:01,923 - [TIRES SQUEALING] - Jesus! 592 00:27:01,924 --> 00:27:04,534 OK, OK, you're totally right. 593 00:27:04,535 --> 00:27:06,547 I don't deserve Joel, and I don't deserve Ford. 594 00:27:06,549 --> 00:27:08,626 You take and take and take! 595 00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:10,585 And I don't deserve another kid, OK? 596 00:27:10,587 --> 00:27:12,107 [BRAKES SCREECHING] 597 00:27:12,108 --> 00:27:15,617 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 598 00:27:21,988 --> 00:27:23,428 So what are you going to do? 599 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,420 Not try to be a mom again. 600 00:27:32,085 --> 00:27:33,777 Get out. 601 00:27:37,438 --> 00:27:39,569 [PHONE CHIMES] 602 00:27:46,795 --> 00:27:48,709 Thank God. 603 00:27:48,710 --> 00:27:51,531 Sorry, ma'am, this isn't your car. 604 00:28:01,505 --> 00:28:03,419 Did you enjoy yourself tonight? 605 00:28:03,420 --> 00:28:05,015 It's cool we won those tickets 606 00:28:05,017 --> 00:28:07,017 to the "Starlight Express" revival. 607 00:28:07,019 --> 00:28:10,869 I meant, did you enjoy making a jackass out of me? 608 00:28:14,475 --> 00:28:16,650 It was just a dance, Connor. 609 00:28:16,651 --> 00:28:18,304 Didn't dance with me. 610 00:28:18,305 --> 00:28:22,438 [SIGHS] 611 00:28:22,439 --> 00:28:24,484 Am I not supposed to have a relationship 612 00:28:24,485 --> 00:28:25,746 with my ex-husband? 613 00:28:25,747 --> 00:28:28,003 You're not supposed to kiss him! 614 00:28:30,665 --> 00:28:33,232 Don't know what you're talking about. 615 00:28:33,233 --> 00:28:35,378 - Come on, Mel. - Why would I... 616 00:28:35,380 --> 00:28:36,504 I saw you. 617 00:28:36,506 --> 00:28:40,602 [TENSE MUSIC] 618 00:28:41,807 --> 00:28:43,459 How? 619 00:28:43,460 --> 00:28:44,763 Put a PI on him. 620 00:28:44,765 --> 00:28:47,072 For what? 621 00:28:47,073 --> 00:28:49,944 For custody, for us. 622 00:28:49,945 --> 00:28:52,468 God. 623 00:28:52,469 --> 00:28:55,558 Brett was right all along. 624 00:28:55,559 --> 00:28:57,192 I did what I had to do. 625 00:28:57,194 --> 00:28:59,151 Yeah, for you. 626 00:29:01,043 --> 00:29:02,697 What do you want from me, Melissa? 627 00:29:02,699 --> 00:29:05,481 For you to decide what's more important, 628 00:29:05,482 --> 00:29:08,453 your family or winning some pissing contest 629 00:29:08,455 --> 00:29:09,866 with my ex-husband. 630 00:29:12,272 --> 00:29:14,527 [SCOFFS] 631 00:29:16,667 --> 00:29:19,147 I'm going to a hotel. 632 00:29:19,148 --> 00:29:20,975 For how long? 633 00:29:20,976 --> 00:29:25,362 Until you decide who you want to dance with. 634 00:29:29,985 --> 00:29:33,727 She's a total monster. 635 00:29:33,728 --> 00:29:35,860 She didn't just shoot her. 636 00:29:35,861 --> 00:29:40,473 She dragged her to a park and left her there. 637 00:29:40,474 --> 00:29:43,446 Psycho I get, but this is next level. 638 00:29:43,448 --> 00:29:45,532 - She can't get away with this. - Well, she already did. 639 00:29:45,534 --> 00:29:46,866 What can we do to her? 640 00:29:46,868 --> 00:29:48,524 Something awful. 641 00:29:48,525 --> 00:29:52,849 Mm! Let's egg her house. 642 00:29:54,009 --> 00:29:57,229 I'm not sure that has the same emotional punch. 643 00:29:57,230 --> 00:29:59,057 Takes the paint right off. 644 00:29:59,058 --> 00:30:01,047 Someone should sleep with her husband. 645 00:30:01,049 --> 00:30:03,278 - [LAUGHTER] - Wait, Keith? 646 00:30:03,279 --> 00:30:05,631 We film it, make it go viral. 647 00:30:05,633 --> 00:30:08,789 She can never show her face in Grosse Pointe ever again. 648 00:30:08,790 --> 00:30:12,225 Mm, trust me, this town loves a scandal. 649 00:30:12,227 --> 00:30:13,462 It's worth a try. 650 00:30:13,463 --> 00:30:14,986 It's not enough. 651 00:30:14,987 --> 00:30:19,251 She took away the thing I love most in the world. 652 00:30:19,252 --> 00:30:23,512 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 653 00:30:28,696 --> 00:30:31,891 We're going to do the same to her. 654 00:30:40,273 --> 00:30:41,882 Ow. 655 00:30:41,883 --> 00:30:44,450 [SIGHS] 656 00:30:44,451 --> 00:30:45,712 What are you doing? 657 00:30:45,713 --> 00:30:47,932 Making a quesadilla. 658 00:30:47,933 --> 00:30:49,585 At this hour? 659 00:30:49,586 --> 00:30:51,370 I'm starving. 660 00:30:51,371 --> 00:30:54,142 Dr. Rubenstein said the late-night eating is doing 661 00:30:54,144 --> 00:30:55,477 a number on your cholesterol. 662 00:30:55,479 --> 00:30:57,550 Hey, get off my cheese, woman. 663 00:30:57,551 --> 00:30:59,726 [SIGHS] 664 00:30:59,727 --> 00:31:02,381 How about a nightcap? 665 00:31:02,382 --> 00:31:04,513 What's that going to do to my cholesterol? 666 00:31:04,514 --> 00:31:06,385 I meant make me one. 667 00:31:06,386 --> 00:31:09,144 [CHUCKLES] 668 00:31:10,433 --> 00:31:13,958 [PHONES CHIMING] 669 00:31:13,959 --> 00:31:16,003 [SIGHS] 670 00:31:16,004 --> 00:31:19,137 It was a crazy night. 671 00:31:19,138 --> 00:31:21,672 I'm just glad you finally got to see 672 00:31:21,674 --> 00:31:23,054 what she's been doing to our son. 673 00:31:23,055 --> 00:31:24,798 No wonder Dougie's been so moody. 674 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,493 Yeah, I barely recognize him. 675 00:31:27,494 --> 00:31:31,236 Broken heart can change a man. 676 00:31:31,237 --> 00:31:34,152 You know, she's affecting all of us. 677 00:31:34,153 --> 00:31:35,893 Definitely stress we don't need. 678 00:31:35,894 --> 00:31:41,420 And I just... I don't like the person I've become. 679 00:31:41,421 --> 00:31:44,336 Is that why you were flirting with Skip Harding tonight? 680 00:31:44,337 --> 00:31:48,910 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 681 00:31:52,084 --> 00:31:53,693 [GIGGLING] 682 00:31:53,694 --> 00:31:55,245 I'm the gala chair. 683 00:31:55,247 --> 00:31:57,653 No one can know I had anything to do with this. 684 00:31:57,654 --> 00:32:01,042 Ooh, we should rip out all the stitches! 685 00:32:01,044 --> 00:32:02,354 [LAUGHTER] 686 00:32:02,355 --> 00:32:04,008 Oh! 687 00:32:04,009 --> 00:32:08,716 OK, not that I'm endorsing destroying an auction item, 688 00:32:08,717 --> 00:32:13,513 but what if we fold it up and cut it into a pattern? 689 00:32:13,515 --> 00:32:15,849 - [LAUGHS] - Ooh, like paper dolls! 690 00:32:15,851 --> 00:32:17,630 Oh, Addie loves those. 691 00:32:17,631 --> 00:32:21,396 Guys, we're trying to prank a bitch, not do crafts. 692 00:32:21,398 --> 00:32:24,811 Yeah, why are you guys thinking so small, huh? 693 00:32:24,812 --> 00:32:27,005 Ah. 694 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:32,021 [SCRAPING] 695 00:32:32,211 --> 00:32:33,820 Expand your horizons. 696 00:32:33,821 --> 00:32:35,660 Is that what I think it is? 697 00:32:35,662 --> 00:32:38,246 Whatever it is, I already like it. 698 00:32:38,248 --> 00:32:41,708 Yeah, 15 horses of gas-powered destruction. 699 00:32:41,710 --> 00:32:42,710 [LAUGHTER] 700 00:32:42,712 --> 00:32:45,628 Ooh, let's chip this quilt like an elm, baby! 701 00:32:45,630 --> 00:32:47,007 [ALL CHEERING] 702 00:32:47,008 --> 00:32:49,705 Not that I have anything to do with this. 703 00:32:49,706 --> 00:32:51,229 Uh-huh. 704 00:32:51,230 --> 00:32:53,144 [ENGINE CHUGGING] 705 00:32:53,145 --> 00:32:55,588 Wait, hold up. Hold up. Don't start it yet. 706 00:32:55,590 --> 00:33:00,627 What's the point if she's not even here to see it happen? 707 00:33:00,717 --> 00:33:02,604 Mm. Quilts in the woods. 708 00:33:02,606 --> 00:33:04,764 - Why don't you just text her? - Oh, Lord. 709 00:33:04,765 --> 00:33:06,331 Ooh, I like that idea. 710 00:33:06,332 --> 00:33:09,029 Come on, what do you say? Text her. 711 00:33:09,030 --> 00:33:12,301 BOTH: Text her. Text her. Text her. 712 00:33:12,303 --> 00:33:15,818 - I should go home. - BOTH: Text her. Text her! Text her! 713 00:33:15,819 --> 00:33:17,911 Tucker's going to wonder where I am. 714 00:33:17,913 --> 00:33:19,779 BOTH: Text her! Text her! 715 00:33:19,780 --> 00:33:21,999 [LAUGHTER] 716 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,522 Yeah. 717 00:33:23,523 --> 00:33:26,960 [LAUGHTER] 718 00:33:26,961 --> 00:33:28,838 It's on all of us now. 719 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,849 - Yeah! - [ALL CHEERING] 720 00:33:33,489 --> 00:33:36,143 Gotta admit, he still looks good. 721 00:33:36,144 --> 00:33:39,878 Ugh, I wasn't flirting. 722 00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:41,540 Very glossy. 723 00:33:41,541 --> 00:33:45,544 Well, that kind of gloss takes a village. 724 00:33:45,545 --> 00:33:49,113 [LAUGHING] Of surgeons. 725 00:33:49,114 --> 00:33:51,158 Do you ever think about him? 726 00:33:51,159 --> 00:33:55,554 Yeah, yeah, I think he needs to leave his face alone now. 727 00:33:55,555 --> 00:33:57,991 You know what I mean, Patty. 728 00:33:57,992 --> 00:34:01,752 He already can't blink his eyes all the way shut. 729 00:34:03,432 --> 00:34:06,691 Do you regret choosing me? 730 00:34:10,482 --> 00:34:13,919 How can you ask me that after all we've been through? 731 00:34:13,921 --> 00:34:15,613 It's just... 732 00:34:18,795 --> 00:34:20,666 Sometimes I think 733 00:34:20,667 --> 00:34:23,321 about the life you could have had without me. 734 00:34:23,322 --> 00:34:26,643 Oh, honey, you've had too much to drink. 735 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:30,992 That's not an answer, Patty. 736 00:34:34,376 --> 00:34:38,574 [SOFT MUSIC] 737 00:34:42,950 --> 00:34:46,648 Do you know why I loved sitting at that table tonight? 738 00:34:46,649 --> 00:34:51,662 All of Grosse Pointe could see you win that quilt. 739 00:34:52,612 --> 00:34:56,434 Because I was sitting next to you. 740 00:35:04,189 --> 00:35:07,007 That's my favorite place to be. 741 00:35:13,154 --> 00:35:16,946 Thanks for letting me spend so much money on my quilt. 742 00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:20,769 Well, after everything that's happened, 743 00:35:20,770 --> 00:35:24,341 I'm not sure if it's going to end up in the nursery. 744 00:35:25,427 --> 00:35:27,907 And I had a feeling it wasn't. 745 00:35:27,908 --> 00:35:30,605 Then why'd you work on it so hard if... 746 00:35:30,606 --> 00:35:32,986 it wasn't for our grandchild? 747 00:35:43,402 --> 00:35:46,033 All that love had to go somewhere. 748 00:35:57,981 --> 00:35:59,460 - You know what? - Hmm? 749 00:35:59,461 --> 00:36:03,203 When I get back from the cabin with Dougie, 750 00:36:03,204 --> 00:36:06,511 let's go away somewhere. 751 00:36:06,512 --> 00:36:09,035 Remember the Alaska cruise? 752 00:36:09,036 --> 00:36:11,211 [BOTH LAUGH] 753 00:36:11,212 --> 00:36:12,908 Remember? 754 00:36:12,909 --> 00:36:16,506 Oh, what I would give to be smoking a joint on a glacier 755 00:36:16,508 --> 00:36:18,534 with you right now. 756 00:36:20,961 --> 00:36:23,471 Wherever we go, I'm not flying coach. 757 00:36:23,473 --> 00:36:26,008 [LAUGHS] 758 00:36:26,009 --> 00:36:28,453 I know, my dear. 759 00:36:31,058 --> 00:36:35,381 [PHONE DINGING] 760 00:36:36,194 --> 00:36:40,066 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 761 00:36:40,067 --> 00:36:42,448 It might work better if we cut this thing into strips. 762 00:36:42,450 --> 00:36:44,409 Won't have to do anything if she doesn't text you back. 763 00:36:44,411 --> 00:36:45,910 This fabric could jam it up. 764 00:36:45,912 --> 00:36:47,726 Why isn't she responding? 765 00:36:47,727 --> 00:36:51,904 Because it's late, and we should all go home. 766 00:36:51,905 --> 00:36:53,340 Hmm. 767 00:36:53,341 --> 00:36:58,258 OK, OK, let's take the wood chipper to her house. 768 00:36:58,259 --> 00:37:01,217 And then we fire it up and we wake up 769 00:37:01,219 --> 00:37:02,844 the whole goddamn neighborhood 770 00:37:02,846 --> 00:37:05,918 and shoot the quilt all over her face! 771 00:37:05,919 --> 00:37:08,724 Wait, guys, come on. Let's get a grip here. 772 00:37:08,726 --> 00:37:10,309 I mean, it does attach to the truck. 773 00:37:10,311 --> 00:37:11,561 Hey, I'm game. 774 00:37:11,563 --> 00:37:12,664 [SCREAMS] 775 00:37:12,665 --> 00:37:14,579 [LAUGHTER] 776 00:37:14,580 --> 00:37:17,190 - OK, all right. - Oh-ho-ho. 777 00:37:17,191 --> 00:37:18,278 [LAUGHTER] 778 00:37:18,279 --> 00:37:21,349 [VOCALIZING] 779 00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:35,817 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 780 00:37:35,818 --> 00:37:37,378 Alice, stop! 781 00:37:37,380 --> 00:37:38,559 Keith? 782 00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:40,566 - Oh, my God. - Uh... 783 00:37:41,694 --> 00:37:44,888 What the hell are you doing? 784 00:37:55,011 --> 00:37:59,148 [WIND HOWLING] 785 00:38:01,453 --> 00:38:03,321 Why are you here? 786 00:38:03,323 --> 00:38:05,531 Oh, believe me, I wish I was back in my kitchen 787 00:38:05,533 --> 00:38:06,848 housing a quesadilla. 788 00:38:06,849 --> 00:38:08,931 Keith, this isn't your problem. 789 00:38:08,933 --> 00:38:11,204 When you rage-text my wife in the middle of the night, 790 00:38:11,206 --> 00:38:13,904 - I'm going to get activated. - Just go home. 791 00:38:15,684 --> 00:38:17,685 Fine. Give me the quilt. 792 00:38:17,686 --> 00:38:18,904 No. 793 00:38:18,905 --> 00:38:20,597 It's Patty's. 794 00:38:22,169 --> 00:38:23,561 She can't have it. 795 00:38:23,562 --> 00:38:26,825 They did technically Venmo payment already. 796 00:38:26,826 --> 00:38:28,566 Why? 797 00:38:28,567 --> 00:38:29,958 Karma. 798 00:38:29,959 --> 00:38:32,570 What is wrong with you? 799 00:38:32,571 --> 00:38:34,227 Your wife. 800 00:38:34,229 --> 00:38:36,008 Tell him, Alice. 801 00:38:36,009 --> 00:38:38,600 She's gone way above and beyond 802 00:38:38,602 --> 00:38:39,941 to make you a part of our family. 803 00:38:39,943 --> 00:38:41,274 Alice, tell him. 804 00:38:41,275 --> 00:38:43,450 She's been kind and welcoming and supportive. 805 00:38:43,451 --> 00:38:45,278 She murdered Molly. 806 00:38:45,279 --> 00:38:46,497 What? 807 00:38:46,498 --> 00:38:50,758 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 808 00:38:51,503 --> 00:38:53,772 You've all lost your goddamn minds. 809 00:38:53,774 --> 00:38:55,680 Just get out of here, mister. 810 00:38:55,681 --> 00:38:57,168 - Give it to me. - No! 811 00:38:57,170 --> 00:38:58,944 No, you don't want to do that, buddy. 812 00:38:58,945 --> 00:39:00,424 Oh, perfect. 813 00:39:00,425 --> 00:39:02,547 Boy, Patty had one thing right. 814 00:39:02,549 --> 00:39:04,924 My son can do way better than you. 815 00:39:04,926 --> 00:39:05,994 Me? 816 00:39:05,995 --> 00:39:09,346 You go out of your way to embarrass yourself. 817 00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:12,265 Doug can do way better than you guys. 818 00:39:12,267 --> 00:39:13,663 You don't belong in our family. 819 00:39:13,665 --> 00:39:15,221 And believe me, when I tell him 820 00:39:15,222 --> 00:39:18,938 what she did to a beautiful, sweet, defenseless animal... 821 00:39:18,940 --> 00:39:20,982 You don't even belong in Grosse Pointe. 822 00:39:20,984 --> 00:39:23,483 [GASPS] 823 00:39:28,627 --> 00:39:30,444 You're right. 824 00:39:34,101 --> 00:39:35,154 [ENGINE REVVING] 825 00:39:35,155 --> 00:39:36,622 No, don't you dare. 826 00:39:36,624 --> 00:39:38,207 - Watch me. - Stop it, Alice! 827 00:39:38,209 --> 00:39:40,551 OK, look, this train has left the station already, OK? 828 00:39:40,552 --> 00:39:42,545 Let it happen, dude. It's going to happen. 829 00:39:42,547 --> 00:39:43,902 No, no. 830 00:39:43,903 --> 00:39:45,773 Hey, hey, out of my way! 831 00:39:45,774 --> 00:39:47,862 - No! - Move! 832 00:39:47,863 --> 00:39:49,995 [BOTH SCREAMING] 833 00:39:49,996 --> 00:39:52,432 Keith, let go! 834 00:39:52,433 --> 00:39:54,390 - Dude, don't be stupid! - Stop it! 835 00:39:54,392 --> 00:39:55,435 Oh, my God, Keith! 836 00:39:55,436 --> 00:39:57,143 Keith, you're going to lose an arm! 837 00:39:57,145 --> 00:39:59,308 - Come on! - What are you doing? 838 00:39:59,309 --> 00:40:00,877 Stop! 839 00:40:02,008 --> 00:40:03,400 [SIGHS] 840 00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:05,358 Oh, my God. 841 00:40:05,359 --> 00:40:07,404 - [ENGINE ROARS] - No! 842 00:40:07,405 --> 00:40:08,883 Let go! 843 00:40:08,884 --> 00:40:10,929 - Let go! - [FABRIC TEARS] 844 00:40:10,930 --> 00:40:16,064 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 845 00:40:16,065 --> 00:40:18,066 [ALL SIGHING] 846 00:40:18,067 --> 00:40:19,633 What is... 847 00:40:19,634 --> 00:40:23,895 [TIMBER TIMBRE'S "I AM COMING TO PARIS [TO KILL YOU]"] 848 00:40:26,467 --> 00:40:29,469 Every garden begins with a single seed, 849 00:40:29,470 --> 00:40:33,054 just like every quilt begins with a single square. 850 00:40:33,056 --> 00:40:38,199 ♪ I am coming to Paris to kill you ♪ 851 00:40:40,568 --> 00:40:43,689 ♪ I have even booked my flight ♪ 852 00:40:43,691 --> 00:40:45,983 Every flower has its own occasion. 853 00:40:45,985 --> 00:40:48,903 And each square has its own story to tell. 854 00:40:48,905 --> 00:40:52,971 ♪ I am coming to Paris to kill you ♪ 855 00:40:52,972 --> 00:40:56,535 At first, you can't see how one goes with the other. 856 00:40:56,537 --> 00:41:00,289 ♪ I am coming to take your life ♪ 857 00:41:02,721 --> 00:41:05,503 But when the last flower blooms 858 00:41:05,505 --> 00:41:08,047 and the last square is sewn... 859 00:41:08,049 --> 00:41:09,965 ♪ And it takes a little time ♪ 860 00:41:09,967 --> 00:41:15,597 ♪ But you'll feel better about most of these things ♪ 861 00:41:16,909 --> 00:41:19,171 ♪ Oh, it takes a little time ♪ 862 00:41:19,172 --> 00:41:22,783 ♪ But you'll feel better about most of these things ♪ 863 00:41:22,784 --> 00:41:24,785 [GASPS] 864 00:41:24,786 --> 00:41:29,548 The big picture finally becomes clear. 865 00:41:30,226 --> 00:41:35,364 ♪ I am coming to Paris to kill you ♪ 866 00:41:37,669 --> 00:41:41,741 ♪ I am coming ♪ 867 00:41:43,196 --> 00:41:45,502 ♪ To take your life ♪ 868 00:41:45,503 --> 00:41:51,503 - Synced and corrected by actumaxime - - www.addic7ed.com - 58364

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