All language subtitles for children.ruin.everything.s04e04.1080p.web.h264-nhtfs_track3_[eng]

(Dynamic music)

♪

(Text on screen)

(Astrid): I know you're upset
karate starts

too early for us on Saturday,

but those were
some very big feelings.

- I'm sorry.

- You don't have to apologize
for having feelings.

You just need
to make better choices

with how you deal with them.

(Astrid): Emotions.

We all have 'em,
but most adults have strategies

and mental tools to handle them.

(James): Kids feel
a lot of emotions,

but they don't have any tools.

So, you have to be the tools.

- Remember your strategies?

Wanna try screaming
into a pillow?

(shrieks)

(phone pinging repeatedly)
Close.

- I didn't mean to interrupt,
but your phone is blowing up.

- Oh, my God.
Leonard will not leave me alone.

This man has no boundaries.

I swear to God,
if he calls me again,

(phone rings)
I'm gonna...

(Astrid): We don't like
to expose our kids

to our own emotional turmoil.

Hi, sweetheart.

So, Mommy's just gonna take
a quick phone call. Okay?

Hello?

Leonard, I'm just gonna
put you on hold for a sec.

(shouts): It's never enough!

(James): But somehow,
they can sense it.

(theme music plays)

- It's got spirulina
and a banana.

- No.
- Yes, of course,

there's a banana.
It's a superfood.

- Excuse me, Leonard, I--

- And about a cup of kefir
before the spirulina.

- So, not to interrupt
smoothie small talk, heh,

but I have an actual
work question.

- Of course.
What is it, Astrid?

- Uh, well,
our polling software

is the free version so it's slow
and it's... it's basic.

- Ah.
- Hey, I think that's probably

mixed at this point.
- Oh, and chia seeds.

- That's what it is.
(sighs)

- So, you want new software.

- No, I want to just upgrade
our current software.

Now, it's expensive,
but I--

- Oh, we don't do expensive.

We're trying to cut
the crap, remember?

It's the slogan.
- Yeah, and this would uh,

actually cut
a lot of the crap for me.

Make our jobs a lot easier.
Right, Jean-Luc?

- Hmm? Oh, sorry,
I was just putting

the smoothie recipe on my phone.

- You know what I'll do?

I'll consider considering it.

- Okay.

- You're welcome.

(banging)

- Hey. You ready?
- Hey, yeah.

Hey, come on over.
Uh, James, this is Chris.

Chris, James.
(Chris): Oh, hi.
Nice to meet you.

- Chris is gonna be
joining us, if that's okay.

- Oh sure, yeah, yeah.
As long as you like wings.

- Oh, Ennis and I go to this
Asian fusion sports bar.

- You're gonna love
the kimchi nachos.

- Uh... yeah,
I don't love kimchi.

- Oh, they're just like
regular nachos.

- Okay.
- The exact same,

just kimchi all over them.
- Yeah.

- Look, um, just as long
as there's a Raptors game

on TV, I'm easy.
I'm good to go.

- There definitely will be.

Unlike that time at karaoke.

- Yeah.
(laughing)

Or no, more like,
"Hey, get off there."

(both):
"Or I'm crackin' skulls!"

(laughs)

- Get off, get off what?

I wasn't, okay, what?
What happened?

- We were on something
we weren't supposed to be

and a guy threatened
to crack our skulls.

(Ennis laughs)

- Oh. I get it now.

How do you two know each other?

- Oh, we met while
we were condo shopping.

Chris helped me move.

- Yeah, that's right.
How do you know Ennis?

- How do I know Ennis?
Uh, let's see.

Uh, went to university
together, we lived together,

we worked together.

Got really into assault
for five years.

That's a mobile app game
called "Gods of Assault"

that we would play.
You moved.

I didn't, why didn't
you tell me you moved?

Why didn't--
(Chris gasps loudly)

- Oh. Hey, hey, you're okay.
You're okay?

- Yeah. I'm sorry.

(Ennis): You okay?
(Chris): Yeah.

(sighs)
- Chris has wake apnea.

- He--
- Get some water.

- It's super rare.
It's just really embarrassing.

(Ennis): No, it isn't.
No, it isn't.

I told you this in Cancun.
It is not embarrassing.

- Thanks, man. Thanks a lot.
- Right, James?

- Right. It's normal.

- Hey, we better go,
like right now

if we wanna get a table
next to the koi pond.

(Ennis): That is where
you wanna sit.

(Chris): Oh, it's a must.
- Or I'm crackin' skulls!

- Yeah, yeah.
- It's a different guy.

- No, you should've been there.
It was awesome.

So, his name's James?
(Ennis): Yeah, James.

(Chris): James, okay.

- This Chris guy
is something else.

I mean, they just met,
and all of a sudden,

him and Ennis are best buds.

- You're cute
when you're jealous.

- I'm very cute
and I'm not jealous.

He is annoying.

(snorts)
"I have wake apnea." What?

- You want annoying?

Leonard shushed me
with his hand.

- Oh, my God.
Is he still alive?

- He lives. For now.
- Ooh.

Look, they're out again.
This is the third place tonight.

What, are they gonna
rave all night?

- James, now that you and Ennis
don't see each other every day,

you just have to try harder
to connect.

Relationships take work.

(groans)
- Yuck.

I hate working on relationships.

Not... You're my fave.

This, this one
is a labor of love.

- Mm-hmm.
- There we go.

All is forgiven.

- Ta-da!

- You brought me a cheese wheel.
- Mm-hmm.

- How did you know?
- It's Altenburger Ziegenkäse.

I bought it for my charcuterie
circle and then I remembered,

I can't eat soft cheese. Duh!

Oh, this baby brain.

- How is the baby doing?!
- Astrid, no!

- God, that felt good.

Maybe this thing could double
as my stress ball.

- You're the breadwinner now,
Astrid.

You need to find
a healthy outlet for your anger

that doesn't involve
my prosthetic belly.

- Yeah, I am. Stuffing it down
with "Attenborough Zeitgeist."

- I'm serious.

Borrow my membership
to the Oakwood Spa.

Oh, you'll love it.
It's dark.

And everyone
is in their bathing suits

sweating out their negativity.

Do the guided meditation
where you look

deep into your neighbor's eyes
and you just breathe.

(meditative music)

- Yeah, no thanks.

That sounds like
a sex cult to me.

I'm gonna stick to screaming
into a pillow, like Viv.

- Are you gonna eat
all that cheese?

- What are you, a cop?

- Oh, my... God!
- James. Did you hear?

Gero's stock is tanking.
They laid off 1,200 employees

last quarter. Good thing
we got off that train

before it jumped the tracks,
hurled into the ocean,

and drowned everybody on board.

- Oh!

Good to see you, Marla.

- Hey, look at this guy.

- She's in a good mood.
- What are you doin' here?

What's up?
- We had such a great time

last night, I thought uh,
you know, we could do it again.

- Yeah, me too.
You mean now?

You wanna hang out like, now?

I don't think
I can hang out now.

- No.

What about Saturday?
- Oh, let me check.

- Yeah, let's check schedules.
- Saturday. I cannot Saturday.

I have a date.

What about the following
Thursday?

- Oh, Astrid's got a work thing.

I gotta take care of the kids.
- Can we do this over text?

- Hmm, no, no.
You know what's good?

Tonight.
That's a night, right?

- No, I can't do tonight.
I got dodgeball.

We're this close
to the playoffs

and we're already
down players as it is.

- Need subs?
- Are you serious?

- Of course!

I've always got
your back, buddy.

- It's just that you once
called dodgeball

"dork tag for sad sacks."

(laughs)
- Classic us.

Ribbing each other.
Remembering it for a long time.

- Yeah.
- Oh yeah.

(dance music playing)

(Felix): Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ah-ah. Oh, oh.

- Felix, Mommy's trying
to work here.

Can you take
that dance party upstairs?

- I can't hear
my music upstairs.

(Astrid): No matter how much
you love your kids,

they can make you
lose your cool.

(James): You don't wanna
blow up,

but you can feel
the pressure building.

(buzzer sounding)

- Stay with me
you fu-nky machine.

- Ooh, that's not what
you were going to say.

(fake laughs)

(Astrid): You try to hold it in,

but the smallest,
super annoying thing

might make you explode.

Felix!
I asked you to be careful.

Don't dance by my desk.

- Actually, it's the dining room
table, not a desk.

(alarm blaring)

(James): So, you gotta
find a way to cool down

before things go nuclear.

(blaring intensifies)

- Hey, Dawn, it's your
sister Astrid Berney.

Hi. I was just wondering
if that cult sex spa offer

was still on the table for me?

- It just sort of
occurred to me that like,

breakdancing is very similar
to dodgeball.

- Hey!
Who's ready to have a ball?

- What did you say?
- It's a, a pun. Never mind.

People don't like puns.

So, I was trying to learn
the, um, rules to this game.

- Uh, this is James,
by the way, everybody.

- Hi, guys.
- Hey, everybody,

your sub is here.
And he brought subs.

- Subs from the sub.
That is genius! Yes!

(James): Chris, he's,
he's subbing too?

- Yeah, yeah.
We had another guy drop out.

He's wanted to play
for a while actually, so--

- Hey, James, heads-up.

- But, I thought--
- Amazing.

That was a sick throw, bro. See?
Dude's a natural.

What else you got in there?
Let's see this.

- Meatball subs,
we got turkey subs,

we got all of the...
all the types.

I threw the meatball
sub over there.

r)!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Oh!

- Hey, don't turn your back.
James, watch out.

- Oh. Oh.

(shouting indistinctly)

Go, go, go!

(both): Yeah!

(Chris grunts)

(shouting)

- Very nice, very nice,
very nice.

(buzzer honks)
(whistle blowing)

- Oh, oh!
(ball thuds)

(grunting)

(Ennis and Chris grunting)
- Very nice.

(groaning)

(cheering)

- That is so good.

(grunting)

(grunting)

- Uh, oh!

- Ah!
- We won!

(buzzer sounding)

We won!
- Huh?

- He got the ball before
it hit the ground. We win!

(team cheering)
- We won.

Is that what's happening?

(Ennis): Oh, what a feeling.

Amazing!
Astonishing dodge out there.

Let's go!

Oh, we did it.
Good work!

- We gotta go celebrate, right?
- You're damn right we do.

Holy cow.
- Let's go.

- Oh, do you wanna go
to that new bar

by our condo where
the inside looks exactly
like the House of Commons?

- Yes.
- Yeah!

- That's all the way
across town.

Is there anything maybe closer?

- Oh. I, I mean, that's okay.

We, we can go somewhere closer.
I guess.

(Ennis): Wanna go back
to that kimchi nacho place?

- You know what?
It's fine.

Yeah, you guys go.
- You sure?

- Next time.
- Next time. I love that.

Next time, man.
- Okay.

- Yeah, cool.

You all right?

- Yeah.
- Okay, great!

Oh, man.

I hope they still have wigs.

- Oh, my God.

(rhythmic music)

- What's going on?
- Well, I was thinking

about your little outburst
at work the other day.

- That's a weird way to say
reasonable work request.

- I think you're right, Astrid.
You need a boost around here.

So, I got you something.
- You got the software.

That's amazing.
- Even better.

A brand new espresso machine.

So, now you'll have
the energy you need

to power through the day.
- I have the energy, mostly.

(machine hissing)
What I don't have

are the proper tools
to do my job when...

Can that wait?

- You'll have to tacit
your speech for a moment.

I can't hear you over the
amazing new espresso machine.

This should be a calm workplace.

- It's dope, isn't it?

- It really is dope, Jean-Luc.

(tense music)

There you go, Astrid.

Relax and have
a nice drink, Astrid.

And enjoy.
- Thank you, Leonard.

For...

Thanks.

- We blew Astrid away.
- Yeah.

(Astrid): You're right,

Mommy should bite
his finger right off.

(growls)

- What do you even do
at a spa anyway?

- Uh, you just lie
there quietly

and sip water
with cucumbers in it.

- Sounds boring.
- Yeah, I certainly hope so.

Um, hey, so I can drop
you off at the game,

but I don't know what time
I'll be finished,

so can you catch a ride home?
- Mm-hmm. Sounds fun.

- No, you're obsessing
about Chris!

- No, that's, I'm--
- Give me this.

- That's a research
for a thing I'm researching.

- Oh, Chris with a dog.
Chris in front of the CN Tower.

Chris spreading
the word on wake apnea?

- Am I crazy? That's not,
that's not a thing. Right?

- Stop stalking
and start talking.

It's good advice because
we're grown-ups.

- Hello, hello.
- Cutting it kinda close, Mom.

- I came straight
from my foraging class.

You want on time?
Pay for a babysitter.

Who wants to eat some
of the stuff I found?

(Viv shrieks)

- Um, tread lightly.
Viv is in a mood.

- Mm-hmm. She's uh,
still angry about karate.

- Good. You remember
the pharmacist

whose cat had dementia
and no tail?

Well, she never got mad.

And then one day she was stuck
in traffic for two hours.

Died of an aneurysm.

The point is, it's healthy
to express emotions.

- Okay, well, make sure Viv
doesn't express emotions

on anything breakable
like uh, I don't know,

the lamp or Morris.

- Oh. Oh.

Oh, my God.
Who am I kidding?

Ew.

(door closes)

- What time
is your cult massage?

- It's not for another hour.

Can I uh,
watch you play a sport?

- Ooh, James.

James' wife.

Guess you heard how great
we are and came to watch?

- Hi, my name is Astrid.

- Hey, uh, so this
is a strange one.

The Young and the Breathless
don't have enough players

to field a whole team.
Two of them just dropped out

so that means that they forfeit
and we're in the finals.

- What?
Are you kidding me?

- It's kind of
anticlimactic but--

- James, you made it
to the finals

without hitting
a single opponent.

That's... that's honestly crazy.
- Well.

- Well, it's not really crazy--
- No, no.

No, no, it is. Trust me.

(tense music)

(espresso machine hissing)

(indistinct chatter)

(Chris): What? What happened?

(buzzer sounding)

- Did the Young and
the Breathless need a sub?

- Whoo, I think they need two.

- Hey, Ennis, you didn't
make the finals yet.

'Cause the Young and the
Breathless, ooh, they've got...

(James): Here, I got you,
I can help you.

Sorry, I think it's your ring.
Your ring.

- The Young and the Breathless
have got a full team.

(players): No way?! Alright!
Come on! Yes!

(cheering)

- You ready for this?

- You have no idea.

(whistle blowing)

(Astrid screams)

(heavy metal music)

(screaming)

(grunting)
- Oh, nice.

- Give me that.

(shouting)

You are out!
(laughing)

(buzzer sounding)

(grunting)

(Ennis): Nice deflection.

(laughing)

(buzzer sounding)
- Die!

(buzzer sounding)
(Astrid growling)

You're out!
- Oh! Come on!

- Whoa! No, hey, hey!
He's out!

Ref, come on!
- Not fast enough.

(buzzer sounding)
(Ennis): We're tied up

and it's just the four of us.
(Chris): How poetic.

(Ennis): I wouldn't.

You know, it didn't have
to be like this, James.

You could be winning
with us right now.

- I like this team better.

Gonna hold that ball
all day, Ennis?

Come on.
Which one of us you gonna tag?

- You know what?

Maybe I'm gonna tag... nobody.

(Chris gasps)
Chris!

(grunting)

- Yes!
- He has wake apnea!

(laughing)

- I'm so embarrassed.
- No, no.

It's not embarrassing.

- Chris is out.

No!

- Yes!

- No!

- Oh! James!

Is... is Ennis out?

Did we just win?

(whistle blowing)

(buzzer sounding)

- We won. Ha!
You were amazing.

- Yeah!

(laughing)

(cheering)

(Chris): That was so fun.

- I don't know
if I would call that fun.

- Oh, no, that was awesome.
I'm gonna play next year.

(Ennis): Yeah, yeah,
that's great.

Yeah, yeah.

I'll, I'll meet ya down there.

- Okay. Yeah.
Meet ya down there.

- What the hell was that?

We're about to make
our first finals, ever,

as a team, and you ruined it!

- Oh, you don't like it
when somebody takes something

that's really important
to you and then destroys it?

- No! Is that not clear?

- You moved and
you didn't even tell me.

I don't know
where you live anymore.

- I moved? You want me
to show you on a map?

I can airdrop you the details.
Is that what this is about?

- You don't even remember
playing Gods of Assault with me?

- Holy!
- We would assault so hard!

And now, I never hear from you

because you're busy
Cancun-ing with Chris.

- You never hear from me?
You got married.

And then you disappeared.
And then you went

and made three brand new
best friends.

- You mean my kids?
- See?

You can't help
but throw 'em in my face.

Would it kill you to make me
your, your home screen wallpaper

once in a while?

- I'm trapped at home
all day, every day.

I can't get a new job.

I'm feeling just
a little left behind.

I think, I dunno, I miss you.

(gentle music plays)

- I miss you, too.

But you can't get mad
when I make new friends.

I mean, I'm extremely charming
and charismatic,

and I have hypnotic eyes
and Seussian curls.

- You are very popular.
(sighing)

- But I can't make
another old friend.

Those are the best
kind of friends there are.

(door opens and closes)

Come here, you.

(laughing)

(Astrid): Oh-ho!

Caught you losers
sharing your feelings.

- What? So?

- Don't you have a massage
you have to go to?

- No, I don't need that trash.

Crushing your team
is the only massage I need.

(clicks tongue)

You know!

(Viv shrieking)

Good grip on ya. Okay.

- The pillows aren't working.
- Yeah.

I think you need
a constructive way

to get all your feelings out.

Like, like whipping a ball
at someone

or kicking the crap
outta something.

- You said a toilet word.
- I did.

How would you like
to go back to karate?

- But you said the Berneys
don't get up early on Saturdays.

- They don't.
But Nanimas do.

What do you say?

- I say, yes!

- Yes!

(Astrid): Emotions can be
overwhelming for kids.

Happiness, anger, fear, they
experience them all so fully.

(James): Navigating
those feelings

can be complicated and scary,
not just for kids, for everyone.

(Astrid): But we've learned
something from our kids.

(James): How to cheat
at Go Fish.

(Astrid): James, oh, my God,
get over it!

(James): I want to. Help me.

(Astrid): Yes.
We've learned it's important

to feel your feelings.

And share them
with the ones you love.

(cheering)

(ukulele strums)

(upbeat disco music plays)

- Ha!

Hoo!

Hoo!

- Mom, I'm trying
to do homework.

- Sorry. Sorry. So sorry.

- I'm trying to do homework.
I already told you.

- So sorry.
Yes, please focus.

- Okay, we get it.

I was bugging you.
We know.

But come on, I'm trying
to do homework.

- Just dancin'.
Having a good time.

(rhythmic music)

Subtitling: difuze