Original subtitles

(Dynamic music)

♪

(Text on screen)

(pleasant music plays)

(James whistles) - James, where is the Tupperware?

And don't say the Tupperware cupboard,

because that's filled with cookie cutters and rolling pins.

- I just didn't feel like the kitchen was set up for me

as a stay-at-home parent, so I jazzed it up a little bit.

- Really captured the chaos and unpredictability of jazz.

- In fact, I'm gonna have a little demonstration.

I think that's a good idea. Kids?

(Morris grumbles) - I'm not done walking the dog.

- Good boy. - Doggy, sit.

- Felix, my man. - Hey.

- You wore those clothes yesterday and clearly slept in them.

- How do you know? You watch me sleep?

- Sometimes.

- Let's listen to Daddy's great new kitchen system.

- Yeah, just a few little minor relocations.

But it should have a little major impact.

First, we're gonna start off here,

in the morning nook section.

(Astrid): When your kids are young,

they think you're charming, entertaining, hilarious.

(James): But at some point, that stops.

- Wow, okay, James. Big yikes.

- Uh, wha... Sorry, James?

- Did you just eye roll us? Wow.

- Did you just... James? I'm Daddy.

(James): You go from Super human,

to human, to sub-human.

(Astrid): And this new lack of respect gets under your skin.

Stop slouching. How 'bout that? Boom!

- But never James. - You just got parented.

(Astrid): And you might not respond great.

- Does Morris need to go out

for peepees and poopies? (Morris barks)

- Did she just say peepees? - Yeah. Viv?

- Vivian, can you come back here?

What did you just say? (door shuts)

- This could cause a PR nightmare.

- Yo, what if it's "Big dreams, big package"?

- It's the word "package" Jean-Luc. Scrap it.

- Okay, you're the boss. Whoa.

Yeah, you're my boss now! Crazy, right?

- The world is truly upside down.

- Astrid, my right-hand woman, who's also BIPOC.

Do you remember why I hired you? - To make you electable.

So, I have some notes on what you just said.

- First, I need to know how I'm doing in the polls.

- You still have a very strong lead.

- Would it still be as strong if I voted against funding

for the downtown community youth centre?

- Leonard, do you remember why I took the job?

- Yeah! Something about people or something like that.

- Because I believe you can make a positive impact on our city.

Kids need a place to hang out and the youth centre is facing

an uphill battle for funding. Vote for it.

- You know, kids need to learn discipline,

respect, and... Mandarin.

- And empathy, and...

- Well, whatever keeps them from skulking around,

and free shoes, and a brand new community centre, which...

- Which you're gonna vote against.

- Vote against. Good idea, Astrid.

It's not pretty watching how the sausage is made, is it?

Most of you are doing a great job.

(curious music plays)

(Dawn): We wanted you to receive the first invitation.

- What is a "Gender No-veal" party?

- It's a party to affirm that we will not reveal the baby's gender.

(clears throat) - We hope you can come.

- Come on, of course. - Thank you, guys.

- I wouldn't miss it... for... the world!

- Astrid, no! No!

This belly was imported from Italy.

I may not be the one carrying the baby,

but I still wanna have an authentic experience.

- Hi, so I couldn't find the uh, champagne flutes.

- I broke them all when I moved them to the celebration section.

- You know, I think we have some wine glasses

in the dinner zone or the beverage nook.

- Okay, uh... - Zinnia?

- Yes? - Um, according to the app,

you're below optimum hydration, so.

- Oh. - Zinnia comes with an app?

How very Black Mirror.

- The "Surro-Gate Keeper".

It helps us track her vitals and habits. And whereabouts.

- Corey sends his love from Switzerland

to his favourite auntie and uncle.

And um, James, he was asking how the job search is going.

- Well, uh, the job search is still going,

but I have plenty of work at home to keep the panic at bay.

- Hmm. - Maybe I can write you

a reference letter. - Oh, no. No, no thanks.

I mean, I got one from Gero's so.

- Well, a letter from the founder and CEO of GoBo couldn't hurt, could it?

- Could it help, though?

Isn't Gero's, you know, a serious company?

GoBo's run out of your basement.

Also, I never worked there. Which is for the best.

- Because being unemployed is better than working for me

and my not-so-serious company?

- No. No, no. I didn't... Hey.

This is supposed to be a celebration, guys.

- Yes. Celebrate. - To, to, to... Whatever.

The um-- - Hey, oh, Felix,

come over here say hi to Dawn Auntie and Uncle Bo.

And oh, the woman they pay to carry their child.

- Yes.

- Hey. (Astrid): Felix.

(James chuckles nervously)

- Hmm.

- It's not true.

- Hey, Bo was a little touchy today.

- You did kinda call his business dumb.

You know, he's put a lot of work into that thing.

- Dumb? What do you mean?

You mean his online crocheting business called GoBo?

Okay, ugh. Fine, I will apologize.

As soon as Felix apologizes for leaving a dryer

full of wet clothes that I now have to rewash.

- He barely even said hi to Dawn and Bo.

Hey. - Hey.

- Hey. - Huh.

- And I was making a grocery list.

I asked him if he still liked yogurt in his lunch.

- Very thoughtful. - No response. Silence.

- He what? That cannot stand.

- Leonard thinks we should come down hard on him.

Like, pfft, that's not us. Not even for this. Right?

- No. We do our thing. We talk to them. We explain it.

We get down on their level. We use the words,

all of the words. As many words as it takes.

- How we do.

- I mean, that wasn't... we can...

- That was pretty good. - That's the start of somethin'.

(James): Hey, Felix.

- Hey.

- Are you eating pickles on our bed?

There's no food upstairs, dude.

If you wanna break the rules, do it in your own bed.

- It's annoying in there.

Viv keeps pretending it's a dog hotel

for sad baby dogs. - That's cute and you know it.

- Hey, Felix buddy, we noticed that you've been a little um... mean to us.

Is it something you wanna talk about?

- Can I take the bus by myself to see Gus?

- I meant something related to your attitude.

But no, you're too young to take the bus by yourself, buddy.

- I'm not too young when you want me

to clean my room or do my laundry.

- You can't accidentally ride your laundry to the airport.

- Yeah, also, you don't finish that laundry, buddy.

If you want more privileges,

you're gonna have to show more responsibility.

And also show us a little bit more respect.

- Yes. Where you going? - Hey. Where you going?

- A-doy, I'm obviously gonna go do my laundry.

- What did I just say about respect?

(Astrid scoffs) - I mean...

I'll go finish my laundry.

- When I "a-doy" it's not that obnoxious, is it?

- Oh, no, I love your a-doy. I adore your a-doys.

- Thank you. - They're a-doyable.

- Ooh.

♪ I had a vision ♪

- A man, on bended knee, proposing with a-these.

- Bo, I've sunk a lot of money into this company.

- Uh-huh. - I've endured

morning check-ins, extended lunches,

and altogether too much singing. - Oh.

- But it's all been worth it to hear your brilliant ideas.

I love it! - We'll make a whole line

of crochet jewellery. I'll call it,

"A Touch of Bo-mance".

(door opens) - That's fun.

- Yeah. - I like how fun that is.

Oh James, nice of you to stop by.

- Hi, Marla. - He signs an NDA or he leaves.

- Oh, there's no need. We're just a silly,

little company to James.

- 'K, that's actually why I came by, Bo.

I was hoping we could have a little bit of a chat.

- Oh, James, did you hear?

Gero's stock prices have plummeted since we were fired.

Great news. Let's go jam a spigot

into your brain. (Bo gasps)

And collect all the brilliant ideas.

- Oh, yeah. - Hmm, sorry.

- Sheesh, Marla is really into Bo.

- She's been in a much better mood

since we started working here.

She even started sharing details about her personal life.

"I have a sister." That's a direct quote.

- No. - Yeah.

- Wait, wait, watch your back. - Oh, passing on your left.

- Oh, 'k. Behind. - Oh. 86 on the coffees.

(both chuckle) - Hey, yeah. We have fun.

What about you? Any uh, leads on the job search,

or are you just gonna be a... dad?

- Being a dad is a job. It's a real job.

Sorry, it's not as fun as... "I have a real boring idea.

(clears throat) My man..." Hey, it's...

- Hey, what about a line of crocheted handkerchiefs,

for when friends hurt your feelings?

(Marla): Brilliant!

- Oh, geez.

- You gotta tell me when someone's behind me.

- What're you talking about? I was signaling like crazy.

- What's the signal? - Hush, hush, hush. Hush, hush, hush.

- That's tea time. - No, it's a twist tie.

Was-was-swish. Was-was-swish.

- I think I made things worse with Bo.

I'm gonna have to smooth things over.

- Tell him you tanked your job interviews

and you're worried you're aging out of the job market.

- I was just gonna get him a bottle of Beaujolais

'cause he likes things with Bo in it.

You think I've aged out of the job market?

- No!

- I'm finished my laundry.

Your pajamas were in the machine.

- Ooh! Okay. Oh, and you ironed them?

- No, I used the steam function on the dryer.

- There is a steam function?

- So, can I take the bus by myself?

- How about this? How about we get you a pass

and we can practice together. - Ooh, bus practice!

- You said if I acted like a grown-up

you would treat me like one.

But you're just so full of it!

- You know what you're not full of? A bus pass!

- And you're burnt. Time to go to bed.

Can't have you this grumpy tomorrow at the "No-veal" party.

- I'm not going to the party.

- You're going, and that's final.

- Or what? (tense music)

- Felix is still sleeping.

(Astrid): When kids are little,

a good sleep solves most problems.

(James): Baby crying? They're tired.

Toddler grumpy? Nap time.

(Astrid): Older kids can go to bed angry, sleep,

and somehow wake up angrier.

(tense music plays)

♪ Run it down, run it down, get it like (hey) ♪

♪ Said I'm gonna push it to the limit like (hey) ♪

♪ Said I'm gonna push it to the limit like ♪

♪ Run it down, run it down, get it like (hey) ♪

♪ Said I'm gonna push it to the limit like (hey) ♪

- What is happening?

♪ Said I'm gonna push it to the limit like ♪

- Good morning, Felix.

- Vivian.

- Don't use my middle name.

- Vivian is your first name.

- I thought my middle name was Ian. Viv Ian Berney.

- Hey, uh, don't forget to put on something beige for the party.

- I said I'm not going.

- Vivian isn't going either.

- There's gonna be desserts there.

- Vivian will attend.

(curious music plays)

- It's actually pretty good.

- I mean, didn't we have to wear all beige

to another one of Dawn and Bo's weird parties?

- Hmm, you're having beige-a-vu.

- Oh, I'm so jealous I didn't think of that.

- Yeah! You should be.

- Ugh. Can't I just stay here with Felix?

- Felix is coming. You'll see.

He's gonna walk in here any second,

pretending like nothing's happened. Hey.

- Hey. (door opens)

- What's the gender?

- Mom! You can't just burst into our room.

- I need to know what to wear to the party, pink or blue?

And don't say-- - Beige.

They've asked us to wear beige

because they don't wanna reveal the baby's gender.

- First, the mother's a stranger.

Now the baby has no gender.

I mean, what's next? Breastfeeding from an iPad?

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - We are all gonna support

Dawn's weird pregnancy. All of us.

- Hmm, except for Felix who's refusing to go.

- Oh. A kid with attitude.

Now you know how I felt.

Girls are the worst. Just wait for Viv.

- James, don't tell my mom things about our lives!

- I'm sorry! I don't know the rules.

My mom abandoned me when I was like, six years old.

- Dealing with unreasonable teens can be traumatic,

but disassociating can be a great coping mechanism.

- That was infuriating. Do you remember how every time

I asked to go to a rave you just got like, completely ambiguous?

- I... I... I don't know.

I don't know. Well, uh, maybe.

I, I don't know. Whatever you say, dear.

- Hmm.

- We're not doing that.

- Pretty good. - No. We're not doing that.

(curious music plays)

What is going on with this sign on the door?

- Viv was bugging me.

- You don't get to treat her like that.

This is a shared space. Be nice to your family!

- A-doy! Hypocrite much?

- Excuse me?

- I heard you making fun of the party.

You don't wanna go either. - Felix, nobody wants to go.

It's a party to announce they aren't making an announcement.

We love them so we show up.

- You treat me like I'm Viv or Morris. It's so annoying!

- I am so done with this grumpy

and, quite honestly, stinky attitude.

It smells like a... a dangerous fog in here.

- Then go away 'cause I wanna be alone.

- We don't make decisions based on what you want.

You're going to the party. We're leaving in 10 minutes.

Be ready and be beige.

- A little to your left. Okay. Up a little and--

(Felix): Are we the only ones here?

- Boo-yah!

- Vivian is confused.

- Oh yeah! Ha! Ugh!

- We'll be over there. - What do we got over there?

(grunting) - A little uh, tofu tartare.

It was Bo's idea. - That's so dumb.

I will have one though. - Okay.

- Oh. - Hundred bucks if you tell me

what kinda baby it is. - Uh, I can't do that.

(Nisha scoffs) - Safari Joe.

- Oh, if it isn't uh, Berney Sand Shirts.

- Okay, okay. What are you doin' here?

- I don't know. I figure it couldn't hurt

to schmooze the new boss.

- What? - Mm.

- Excuse me. - Oh, you're excused.

- Sorry, sorry, sorry, did you say you're here to schmooze Bo?

The guy who gets his incense from Versace.

- Okay, I'm sorry that I respect a guy

who loves his job and creates a positive working environment.

All right? GoBo might not be for you,

but his passion is inspiring.

And every bathroom in this house has a bidet. Oh, my God.

- Hey. - Hey.

- So glad you could celebrate with us, Ennis.

- Oh, thanks. - I look forward to reading

those projection reports. - Yeah. Ha-ha!

(clears throat)

- Excuse me, James. - Sure.

- See what I mean?

Hey, what do you think a projection report is?

(Dawn giggles)

- Yeah, aw.

- Well, we wanna thank you all for honouring our wish

not to reveal the baby's gender,

so that they may be welcome into the family free of judgment.

So, without further ado...

(Bo): Oh, by the way, the colour of the cake

will not reveal the baby's gender.

- Ooh.

(gasping)

- Nanima called it!

Ha, ha! Can't fool me.

- We specifically asked you to order a neutral grey cake.

- I did! The bakery was excited

'cause no one ever asks for grey.

- You obviously let it slip that it's a boy.

- It's not a boy! (Nisha gasps)

- I knew it! Yes! Yes!

- Or a girl. (Dawn scoffs)

I mean, she is a baby. I mean, they, them.

- Wait, where's Felix? Felix?

(both): Oh, he took the bus home.

- Uh, we were both outside at the same time.

- I had to take the garbage out.

- I was checking to make sure

I got the number right on the building.

- To a place that you work at every day?

- Well, I know what it looks like.

But I don't know the address to mail a gift.

Which is what I was trying to do. So keep it secret, please.

- Did he get on the bus or not?

- Yes. - Yep.

(Nisha gasps)

- Okay, okay, I got him. I got him. He took his tablet.

He's on his way home, I think. - If I could just find my purse.

- Here, here, here. It was on the couch.

Your keys are in there and your wallet.

And some expired eye drops. - Mom, please!

- We got this. It's gonna be okay.

- Hey, you know, I gave Felix 20 bucks for the bus.

He should be able to upgrade to first class,

or preferred economy, or whatever they have.

- Thanks, Ennis. Ennis, you're in charge

of Viv and Morris 'til we're back.

- What?

(sirens in the distance)

- Felix! Felix!

- Hey.

- Oh, my God. We were so worried.

- Aren't you going to yell at me?

- Oh, baby, yes, we will, once this dopamine rush

of you being alive wears off. - You okay?

- There was a guy eating yogurt with his fingers.

And then I got off one stop too late.

But the yogurt guy helped me and I did it.

- We didn't think you couldn't do it. We're in charge.

And it's our job to keep you safe until you are ready

to make the choices that keep you safe.

And you're not ready. - I can never be alone.

Viv goes to sleep before me

so I can't hang out in my room at night.

She's always in there during the day. Morris follows me.

You guys are always skulking around.

Why can't I ever just be by myself?

(soft music)

And... and give this back to Uncle Ennis.

- Yeah, I'll make sure he gets that.

(Astrid sighs)

(Bo exhales deeply)

- Hey, you found Felix? - Home safe and sound.

- Phew. - Got this for you.

- Oh.

Is the joke that this is the worst year for Beaujolais?

Point taken. I'm the worst of the Beaus. Watery, acidic.

♪ No fruity tones at all ♪

(James exhales)

- Bo. - Mm-hmm?

- I gotta be honest, I don't know why GoBo works.

But what I do know is that you're passionate about it.

And that people love to work for you.

You're great at what you do.

And I regret that I turned down the chance

to work for such a great boss.

- James, I've waited so long to hear you say those words.

And the truth is... I need you.

- Really?

- As a confidante. It's not a paid position,

but I need someone close to me,

on the outside, whom I can call day or night.

And just blech... just unburden myself.

- Well, I would be honoured to hear what you're up to. Anytime.

(laughing)

Of the day.

- Hey, what are you guys hugging about?

- Hey, where are my youngest children?

- Oh, you've got a house full of your family

and me you put in charge?

- Oh, come on.

(Astrid): Kids need to show respect to their parents and to the rules.

(James): But you might need to lead by example.

Like, I don't get why Bo's business works.

(Astrid): Or why he and Dawn are outsourcing their pregnancy

to a total stranger. (James): But we can respect

their choices.

- Ta-da!

(Astrid): And we can respect

how a tween might need his own space.

- I get my own room back? - There it is.

- Can I get a lock for the door?

- Uh, no. - Hard pass.

- Look, you need your own space.

We need a lot more responsibility

and a lot more respect. - Deal.

(James): But sometimes, leading by example isn't enough.

- Thanks, Mom and Dad. This is bussin'.

- I'm glad you like your room, pal,

'cause you're gonna be in here for a week. You're grounded.

- What? Wait, why? For the bus thing?

- A-doy! Yeah, for the bus thing.

You're right, I mean, it's a-doyable.

- That's how you do it.

hr!

- It's not gonna work. There's a little bit of a double entendre.

All right, we have some other options here.

They're not without their problems.

But I feel like we should discuss.

Jean-Luc, do you wanna start? - Yeah, okay.

So, I was thinking we could do, "Let's do it together."

- Again, that sounds slightly sexual

and we're trying to veer away from that.

- Yeah, and it's also bo-ring! - Right.

- What about this, "Let me work for you, again."

- Uh, that doesn't work for me this time.

- Nope. How about "It's better with me on top."

- Again, you're doing that thing that we've discussed.

- Jean-Luc. - All right, uh, leadership,

experience, community, something simple.

- Can we just cut the crap? - Okay.

- No, no, did you hear what I just said?

"Let's cut the crap."

- So, our current slogan?

- Great idea. Great job, Astrid.

Cookie time.

(rhythmic music)

Subtitling: difuze