Original subtitles

(Dynamic music)

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(Text on screen)

- Has anyone seen the sunscreen?

I've looked in all the normal places,

and the obvious weird places. Viv?

- Yesterday at recess, me and my friends

were making ants carry a chip across the field.

But then a seagull took it. - Remember how our answers

are supposed to relate to the questions?

- Seagulls are bullies. - So, no. Okay.

Eh, oh, look what I found. - Is it sunscreen?

(gasps) Strawberry!

- Aw. - Aw, Felix was so little

when he got that. - I haven't seen him in so long.

(Morris): My screwdriver. - Where is Felix?

- He said he was going "out with friends"

to do "stuff." - That info lacks info.

(Astrid): When your kids are little, they tell you everything.

(James): You know all their friends, fears,

and favourite foods because you have a strong connection.

(Astrid): And because you get to hear every random thought they have.

- The third seagull is the tallest, and the leader.

Her name is Mandy.

- Oh hey, there's Felix.

- I don't recognize those kids. (Astrid): Let's go say hi to Felix.

(Felix): I was looking at him. And then he was like,

"I'm gonna beat you up." But then I was like (bleep)...

you piece of (bleep). - Oh! That's crazy.

- Uh, Felix, your mom.

- Hey, Mom. What are you doing here?

- What am I doing at this family park with my family?

- Yeah. - Not much, Felix.

What are you doing here?

- We're actually leaving now.

So, I'll be back for dinner. - Bye.

(James): When kids get older, they stop telling you

about their life, just as it starts to get interesting.

(Astrid): You lose that connection

and it starts to feel like you're raising a stranger.

(James): A stranger who finds you annoying.

(Viv laughs)

- Oh, Viv, don't look.

- Ah, I'm not.

(exhales) - Oh, come on,

how much more shapewear do you need, Hamilton?

(Felix): Uh, are you talking to me?

- Hey, bud. I wish I were talking to you.

I've been so busy at work lately,

I feel like I never see you anymore.

To be fair, you're always busy in your room, so.

Hey, hey, no. We can, we'll do this now.

How, how's school going? How's Gus?

- Oh, I don't hang out with Gus anymore.

- When did that happen? (gasps)

Is that my copy of "Dune?" Oh, my...

That is my favourite series of all time.

And you're like, a little too young to read it, but like.

- All right. Well, I'm gonna go listen to a podcast now.

- You... Um, okay but what, Cool, cool,

what uh, what pods you listenin' to?

- Podcasts. - All right.

See you when it's sunny, bunny.

(fake laughs)

- Night, Dad.

(Astrid): Are you okay?

- Yeah, I just, I feel like I'm not connecting with Felix.

- Yeah, I mean, he's, he's getting older.

It's normal that he pulls away a little bit.

- But, I don't know anything about him.

Like, I don't know what kinda music he listens to.

I don't know who his friends are.

Does he think his dad is cool?

- Come on, we know stuff about Felix.

- Mm-hmm? - He likes...

podcasts.

- Yeah, huh. There's some big gaps.

And like, anytime I ask him a question,

he answers like a magic eight ball.

Is this just a phase? - Outlook not so good.

I still don't tell my mom anything.

- He could be going through something. We would never know.

- Maybe you're the one who's going through something.

- Mm-hmm.

- But I'm driving him to school.

I'm gonna do just a casual vibe check.

- Yeah. - I got it.

- You gonna find out some stuff? - Please.

- Take the buttons, they're free.

(chuckles) Astrid,

please don't let people describe their vegetable gardens to me.

- Shh. - Or... or complain

about the potholes that are on their bus routes home.

It's not my job.

- Leonard, the potholes are absolutely your job.

And it's a good thing for you to be seen in your community.

People like a candidate who's accessible.

- I love you, Leonard Flynn!

You got my vote. - Oh, my God, she's gonna make me eat those cookies.

- Mm-hmm. - They could have raisins in them.

- Okay, here's the exit strategy.

You start talking about the fire department.

I'll swoop in and I'll say that you have to move on.

- That's why I hire you, slugger.

Oh, hello. (chuckling)

Cookies. And they've got raisins in them.

- Yeah. - Hey, how's the vibe check?

(Astrid): There was no vibe. Yeah, he didn't say anything

and I didn't wanna push because Viv was there.

She was dominating the conversation with talk of seagulls.

(Leonard): Working as a firefighter is a great career.

- Last week I asked him if he wanted to play catch,

and he said, "maybe later."

- What a tragic snapshot. (Leonard): Firehouse!

- Right now is later. I could duck out early,

go home and throw the ball around with him.

That always gets him talkin'.

(Leonard): It is the finest fire department in the land.

- I gotta go. - Mm-hmm.

Yeah, no, uh also me. I gotta go, too.

(gentle music plays)

(James whistles)

Hey, what are you doing? - What are you doing?

- I'm ducking out early. - Good, let's go.

- Wait a minute, no, no, no. We can't both leave.

I started packing before you.

(curious music plays)

(Ennis): So much stuff on the table.

- Stop being weird and listen.

I need you two to put together a presentation

on our best-selling products for the president of Gero's,

first thing tomorrow morning. - It's three o'clock.

- So, you have 18 hours to put together something impressive.

(chuckles)

- Can you please handle this?

I have a very important game of catch with my son.

- Hey, I got problems too, okay? My girlfriend's pregnant.

And yeah, it's not mine, or hers,

but that doesn't mean there aren't complications.

- Uh-huh. Like what?

- Introduced Zinnia to my dad and through a series of small,

but impactful misunderstandings, he now thinks the baby is mine.

And he's so excited about it, I couldn't tell him the truth.

And now he's sending presents, and I wanna come clean,

but the presents are really nice.

- Can we just do this and then get outta here early?

- Oh, my dad just e-transferred me $5,000.

- I'm home!

Uh...

Have you seen, has anyone seen the baseball gloves? Hey, Viv.

Viv, did you use them as sleeping bags for your Hoochie Dolls?

- I can't remember. - Ah.

Where's Felix?

- He's upstairs talking to Mommy.

I'm building a seagull trap.

- That's great! Love you!

Okay.

Hey.

- Just a minute.

- Can I get in on this? - No.

- Oh. What are you, oh, come on.

What'd he say? What'd he say?

Oh, my God, what did he say to give you that big hug?

Oh, my God, that looked like a good six-seconder.

- I counted seven seconds. - Oh, my God. What did he say?

- James, I'm really sorry, but he... he made me promise not to tell you.

- What? He make you sign an NDA or something?

I'm his dad. - I know.

I feel terrible.

But he's fine.

And the important thing is that he's talking to us.

- Not us, not me. He's not talking to me.

He's specifically excluding me.

- James, it's just this one thing.

And I promise you, it's nothing for you to worry about.

- Well, that's easy for you to say.

You're not the one being iced out.

Look, I'm gonna say some things, and um, whenever I say

the right thing, you just give me one of these.

Give me one of these. (clicks tongue)

Give me a... (whistles)

Okay? Ready? Girls. Puberty. School. Internet.

Did he see something disturbing on the internet?

- James, I can't tell you anything.

But I promise, it's nothing you need to know.

- Okay, this is very important.

I'm just, here, I'm gonna leave a pen and paper right here.

And you just write down what he said, and it's like I just came across it.

So, you're not breaking any rules,

and I just happened to walk past and I saw it.

So, and then I come around and I see it says,

"I can't tell you." Come on.

What? Nothing? Like, not a message for Dad?

- Well... - What? What is it?

- Okay, there's a message,

but I think, I think you should hear it later.

- If he has a message for me, I wanna hear it.

Let's have it, I want it.

- Um...

Felix would like you to stop doing sunny bunny.

He doesn't like it anymore.

(James breathes shakily)

- Okay.

- Do these breathe? What's goin' on here?

There's a lot of holes.

- I'm having second thoughts about this presentation.

- I think it's gonna go great. You know what you should do?

Put your leg up. Show those pants off. - Why are we... Get this away.

What are you doing? - I've got terrible news.

The president of Gero's has been killed.

- What? - By who? Was it on the news?

- Oh, my God. - Killed from his job.

- So, you mean fired? - Either way, he's dead to us.

So, no more presentation.

- Oh.

- How much of this presentation

was simply wearing the merchandise?

- I'd say about uh, 80 percent.

- You're gonna need to do better than that

if you don't wanna end up killed.

- You mean fired though, right?

- Come on!

I could've been home early yesterday.

Then I could've figured out my son's secret

and I could've gotten a big, old hug.

- Well, maybe you don't wanna know the secret.

I told my dad that Zinnia's baby was not mine or hers.

He was not happy. - Well, good, now that's over.

- No, it isn't.

He was so disappointed that I said,

"Psych! The baby is ours." (laughs)

And he is not a jokes guy, so now the presents have stopped.

- You just gotta tell him the truth, man.

- I can't! I wish he'd just figure it out for himself.

- Oh.

Maybe that's what I have to do with Felix.

In order to get close to him, I gotta dig around.

I gotta figure out what's wrong with him.

- But he's getting along with Astrid. Right?

Hey, what if you shift your attentions over to Morris?

(Astrid): So were you serious about taking time off work?

- Dead serious. I even wrote an essay

on leaving the corporate grind behind.

It's been well received. - Ooh! These are good.

- In fact, I'm hitting the lecture circuit next week.

Five cities in four days.

Sadly, Dawn and Corey can't come with me.

- Does Corey talk to you about his life?

- Well, he does in our mandatory weekly share circle.

Or when we play Bonded Pairs. It's such a great trivia game.

Yeah, it was designed by a child psychologist

to pull information out of young minds.

- Sounds fun. (Bo laughs)

- Oh, sorry I'm late. I got stuck behind this dweeb.

- Hey, Nisha. - Oh, is dweeb anti-woke now?

Am I still allowed to say dweeb? 'Cause I'm not giving it up.

(curious music plays)

What's up with you?

- Nothing.

- What's new with the kids? - Hmm, nothing.

- How's James? - Yeah, good.

- Hmm.

(Nisha sighs)

- My love, I respect that you're keeping our boy's secret,

but I got, I'm sorry, I have to, I'm gonna force him to talk to me.

- No, James, don't do that. Do you remember how annoyed

you'd get when your parents were being intrusive?

- Yes! But why is he telling you and not me?

- Well, it's... (Morris): Dad.

- It's kind of about you.

- What?!

Oh, my God, you've gotta tell me.

- Okay, I'm gonna tell you, all right?

Under two conditions. You don't freak out.

(Morris): Moo, moo, moo.

- And you never, never

bring it up to Felix.

- Hmm, okay, fine, just tell me, please.

- Okay.

It's about the scent of deodorant you always get him,

Sea Storm Hero.

- I think I buy him Cowboy Athlete.

- Somebody told him he smelled like a dad.

This was very embarrassing for him.

So, I just went and got him a different brand.

And that's it. Okay?

- Smelling like a dad is bad? - It is when you're 11.

- Okay. No, that's fair. That is a fair point.

I'll be just...

- James. - Okay, no, no, no.

I'm just gonna... ahem. You know what?

Here's what, here's what I do.

I just change my scent up a little bit.

I'll give Beefy Hurricane a try.

I'll do uh, Skydive Barbecue.

- James, you're not doing a thing because you're not freaking out.

It's not a big deal. - No, but it is a big deal

because he didn't complain about his scent before.

He never did.

- What, you think he's being bullied?

- Would he tell us if he was?

This is something we have to find out on our own.

- Okay. All right, but discreetly.

Like, like, Jason Bourne or Miss Marple.

- Mm-hmm. - I'm obviously Jason Bourne.

- Yeah, yeah.

(Felix): Yo, that's straight fire.

(indistinct chatter) - Oh, hel-hi.

Sorry, that was, I meant to say hello

and then I wanted to change it to hi,

and it got scrunched in my brain on the way out and it came out hel-hi.

That's how you get a hel-hi. Anyway...

Sorry. Hello, hi. Hi.

Ahem. Can I speak to you in the kitchen?

What's this? - An unannounced visit.

Perfect opportunity for Bourne and Marple to team up.

- Hmm. - What is in that bag?

- Huh? Nothing. It's just... We don't have to put hands all...

It's just supplies.

- There's like 20 deodorants in here.

James! I asked you not to freak out.

- Accept me as I am!

- Did you see Rachel's daughter? She hugged Felix.

- Ooh, a hug is close enough to smell a deodorant.

Do you think she's the deodorant shamer?

- No, Marple, Felix hugged a girl.

What is this relationship? - Oh, I see.

- Oh, hey, hey. Hey, guys, girls, peoples.

(stammers) Small pipsqueaks.

What are you guys doing these days?

- Mom, we're not doing anything.

Come on, let's go upstairs.

- Touch grass, bros.

- Way to go, Jason Bourne.

(Astrid): At a certain age, kids hit the sweet spot for being helpful.

(James): Any older, and they don't wanna help.

(Astrid): Any younger, and their help isn't helpful.

(James): But these kids will fetch things, deliver messages,

be a lookout while you eat marshmallows from the baking drawer.

(Astrid): They don't even care if what you're asking them

to do is ethically questionable.

- Okay, my little spy, what'd you get?

- A lot. They didn't even notice me.

And when they did notice me, they pretended not to notice me.

- Very good, my love. Okay, tell us everything.

- Mercedes named one of the seagulls Tyler.

And she was like, "Leave Tyler alone."

Can you believe her? - Okay.

- Viv, that's not what we meant.

What were Felix and his friends talking about upstairs?

- They were watching stuff on the iPad and laughing.

- Okay, thank you, wonder girl.

You're the best in the world at being sneaky.

That was a bunch of nothin'. - Oh, leaving so soon?

Aren't you gonna stay for dinner? Or whatever?

- Yeah, we gotta go. - Yeah, where you guys goin' to?

- The park.

- Aren't you gonna wait for Felix?

- No.

- Did you hear that "no?" - Hear it? I felt it.

- What is going on? Is that his bully?

Is it his girlfriend? - It's okay, my love.

Just take a breath. All we need to do is figure out

a way to convince him to confess every detail about his life.

- Okay, the game is called Bonded Pairs.

And it's just a fun, light, fun game.

Just for fun. - I know, it sounds fun.

- 'K. How does it work?

- Well, we each take a card and then we ask somebody

to answer or do what it says on the card.

- What if it says, "blow up a bank?"

- It won't say that. I'll go first.

Viv, walk like a person in your family.

- I got one.

(weirdly): I'm Daddy, and I walk like a weird bird.

(laughing)

- I-I-I'm Daddy and I like to over-explain everything,

and I like to turn everything into a paragraph.

(Viv laughs) - It was Viv's turn, right?

I don't think we-- - I'm Daddy and I make noises

that sound like this. (grumbling)

(kids laughing)

- And I keep continuing my sentences,

and, and, and, and, and.

- Pa-paw! Pew-pew! - Okay, okay.

I don't make any of those. Those sounds are not really right.

And also, I don't walk like that.

And I certainly don't over-explain anything.

Ahem. It's just that some topics have a depth and nuance

that, when omitted, they don't really paint the whole picture

of what I'm trying to say, so-- - James!

- Yeah, all right, fine. Felix, I'm choosing you. Ahem.

Here's your question. What is one thing you wish your parents knew about you?

- I wish they knew that sometimes I feel like they don't listen when I'm--

- Shh, shh. - Shh, we're asking Felix.

- Uh, I don't know.

That I have trouble sleeping some nights.

So, I'm not in a bad mood in the morning, I'm just tired.

(angelic chime)

- Okay, my turn. My turn.

Felix, if you were stranded on an island

and you could bring one classmate, and one classmate alone,

who would it be and what are your feelings towards--

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, it's my turn. Yeah, it's my turn.

- Okay, I choose Viv.

What's your favourite smell?

- Daddy's shirts.

(Astrid): I love that answer. - Oh, that is nice to hear.

Thank you, wonder girl. (Astrid): So cute.

- It's my deodorant. See? Somebody actually likes it.

Okay, you're up.

(tense music plays)

- Uh, what's a thing

that's happening in this family right now?

- Uh, I...

d c)

(Astrid): Felix, I'm so sorry.

Your dad was just very worried about you

and I-I needed him to know that you were okay.

- Are you okay?

Anything happen with your friends today or...

- I'm okay. Okay? I just had a stupid day.

- Okay, great. We can talk about it.

- Yeah. Um... - Um...

So when your body's changing. - Hmm.

- Your smell can sometimes-- - What are you saying?

I don't wanna talk about this!

- You know, girls can be tricky. - Can they?

- No. Uh...

It's, but sometimes, when you're friends

with somebody and your feelings for that person changes over time--

- I just wanna work on my gargoyle.

- Totally. - Get that.

Yeah, buddy. - Totally.

Just the, so, body image-- - Can you guys just leave?

- The internet is a minefield and--

- I'm leaving.

- We shouldn't go through his stuff.

- No, we should leave this room before we do.

(curious music plays)

- The trap didn't work.

Now our playground belongs to the dirty seagull gang.

- Viv, what about if you made a fake seagull

to entice the real seagull into the trap?

(James laughs)

- I love that. I gotta go.

(chuckling) You so smart, Mommy.

You so smart. - Ha, ha!

- You so smart, Mommy. - I know.

(indistinct television)

(James): Ahem.

- What are you guys watching? - Nothing.

- Cool, cool. - Cool.

- Cool.

- Ever heard of Hospital Court? (both): Uh, yeah.

- Do you wanna watch that right now?

- Yeah, it's so cringe, it's funny.

- No, I love it. I like it for real.

- You do? - Yeah!

Look how much we got PVR'd.

(Astrid): As your kids get older, they will start

to have a full life, and you will see less and less of it.

(James): That's normal and natural, and hard to accept.

(Astrid): But you can't force them to share everything about who they are.

(James): Which makes the parts they choose to share

even more special.

You want a snack?

- Hmm, in a bit.

- Okay.

- I didn't go through 20 years of medical school,

law school, and medical law school

to have you cut my career short, Dr. Redondo!

(Felix): That's so cringe.

(James): Totally.

We have chips, we got pretzels,

we got um, the little cinnamon crispy guys

that you like, we've got popcorn.

- James. - Yeah, Dad.

- Ahem, you just let me know when you're ready.

(Dr. Redondo): I object to you being pregnant.

- Raisins. (Astrid): Hello.

- Oh, my secret ingredient, milk!

- You don't say?

(cookie crinkles)

(spits)

Delicious.

You know what's a cool occupation?

Working as a firefighter.

(theme music)

Subtitling: difuze