Original subtitles

Hit it!

- Come on. - Yeah! Dance.

Cute and cuddly, boys.

Kowalski, progress report.

Nearing completion on escape tunnel number 15, Skipper.

Isn't this a bit overly cautious?

Even better. It's full-blown paranoia.

No, I mean, we already have 14 escape tunnels.

Isn't that enough?

Manfredi and Johnson thought so,

what was left of them came home in a manila envelope.

From Manila, ironically.

There's no such thing as "too paranoid", Private.

Remember that. And forget you ever heard it.

Um, I don't think that works the way you think it...

Eyes on the flippers.

Wow!

- Man down! - Rico.

His brain appears to be functioning at, uh...

Hmm, let's call it normal capacity.

What happened? I thought we mapped this tunnel.

I'm not sure. This wall shouldn't be...

A vintage pass code lock.

Excellent work, Kowalski.

But can you open it?

Well, it is state of the art hyper encryption technology...

From 1963.

[duck quacks]

[cow moos]

[horse neighs]

[Crank!]

[lock unlatches]

Nailed it.

Move in cautiously, men.

Rico, ominous background music.

Rico!

All right, crackerjack, what's the code word?

[speaks gibberish]

Lucky guess, moonbeam.

That voice...

That steely gaze...

You sugar puffs just gonna stand there? Spill your tater tots.

Where's the red squirrel?

The red squirrel.

Then you really are... Special agent Buck Rotgut.

The Buck Rotgut?

Um, is that... is that someone famous, then?

Sweet ignorant Private,

Buck Rotgut is our greatest American penguin hero.

I've patterned my whole life after Rotgut.

The bird who brought down penguin enemy number one:

the red squirrel.

And may I say, it is an honor, sir.

86 the kiss-up, fauntleroy. Let's get to brass tacks.

I caught the squirrel, all right,

But big red broke out,

Disappeared in the underground.

So that's what I did too.

47 years I've been down in this bunker,

waiting for red squirrel to show his fluffy tail again.

47 years.

47 years?

47 years!

Don't you think the red squirrel would have shown up by now?

Private.

College boy, huh? You see that bunker door?

It only opens when the red squirrel returns.

Is it open now, dough boy?

Yes.

Then red is back.

And you four lollipops are gonna help me find him.

- I get to work with Buck Rotgut. - I know, right?

Okay, so the guy in the street,

He puts a little ball into one hat like this.

Then he mix, he mix it so fast

it's like you can't even see it.

Then stop.

And now you can't tell which is the ball hat, can you?

Oh.

Oh. Ah! Oh!

And now you give to me all of your money.

I love this game.

You sure you playing this right?

Where's the red squirrel?

Bring him up.

All right, pigeon, sing for me.

Uh...

♪ I don't know

♪ where the red squirrel is

♪ but this one time

♪ I found a piece of red licorice ♪

I don't understand, Skipper.

Why would Mort know anything about the red squirrel?

You got to think like Buck Rotgut, Private.

Put your paranoia cap on.

I don't think I have a paranoia cap, Skipper.

Well, there's your problem.

You don't know anything about the red squirrel, huh?

That bushy tail of yours tells me different.

Know who else has a bushy tail?

The red squirrel!

Oh, it's true. I do have a tail.

Sad eyes, a squirrel spy?

It's always the ones you least expect.

But... but...

Ah, there you are, Mort, you silly.

Come, I must show you my new street game.

Eh, who's the freak?

I confess to everything.

I took the last nut and nougat bar.

I cheat at whistling.

My father was not a talking water cycle.

This hardball stuff really works.

These snitches don't know anything.

They're just small potatoes.

He's right. I am secretly a potato.

No... oh... okay, no, that one was a lie.

I just wanted to get the ropes off.

- Eh! - Ow!

Oh! Uh!

These walls are nothing.

There's not been the prison built

that can hold King Julian.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. You're locking that?

Never mind.

Am I the only one who thinks this is wrong?

Oh, it's very wrong, Private.

Who knew the red squirrel had so many agents Inside our own zoo?

I don't know what to believe anymore.

Dry those water works, egghead.

This roundup's just getting started.

You diaper dons ready to get your flippers dirty?

- Oh, absolutamente. - Yeah.

Not really.

Oh, all right.

Free peanuts.

You like peanuts, huh? You know who else likes nuts?

The red squirrel!

Oh, dear.

Hey.

Oof.

Huh? What in the world?.. Ah!

You like pictures of red squirrels, huh?

You know who else likes red squirrels?

The red squirrel!

Ah! Gah!

I say.

Read any good books lately, punks? Read? Red?

The red squirrel!

That one doesn't even make sense.

Ah! Ow!

But these are our friends. They can't be red squirrel agents.

Can't they?

I think we can trust the instincts of history's greatest penguin agent.

Squirrel, squirrel, squirrel...

I'm sick of this guy. He's not the boss of me.

- They can't do this. - It's outrageous.

Okay, this red squirrel stuff has gone way too far.

But maybe we can stop it.

I don't much like our chances.

Those penguins are a wiley bunch.

True, true, but I just happen to have

a secret inside source.

Now, for his own protection,

my source cannot reveal his identity.

Hello there, Private.

Oh.

Um, the way I see it, everything goes back to normal

If we just get rid of Buck Rotgut.

And how are we gonna do that?

That guy's not going anywhere until he catches some kind of red squirrel.

Precisely, Maurice.

So you want me to pretend to be a squirrel?

You are a squirrel.

Yeah, but I never been a pretend one before.

- It'll be fine. - Ow.

Ooh, everyone, come quickly. It's the red squirrel.

Sweet enemy of the state.

It's really him.

Hope you kept your dance card open, bushy tail,

'cause I'm gonna play a little chin music

and waltz you all the way back to the louse house.

Um, I'm gonna run away now.

After him, boys.

Take him out.

Oh, mama.

Oh, okay, only 100 yards to the nearest tree.

Stupid eye patch.

Crazy face, hit me with the gift box.

Ha.

A-hi.

Good job, all of us.

I'm sure they kept your cell warm, red.

Touche, heh-heh.

So what's our next mission, Buck?

That's it for me, boys. I'm out of the game.

- Why? - No, sir. - Say it ain't so.

I was put on this earth for one reason and one reason only.

And now it's sitting in the back of the...

Wait a minute. Where's dough boy?

Private? He's right... Hmm.

Thanks a million, Fred.

No problem. I always wanted to ride in a box.

You know, they got cardboard on the inside too.

Conspiracy.

Ah!

That squirrel was Fred?

Why would you make a phony red squirrel?

Why?

Because special agent Buck Rotgut is completely mental.

Your lies are burning my ear holes.

He's thrown all our friends into a detention cell.

And for what?

Because he thinks some enemy from 47 years ago

is still out there plotting against him?

Oh, I get it now.

The red squirrel hates penguins.

And you know who else hates penguins?

The red squi...

The red squirrel!

What? He's... he's...

Okay, he's talking nonsense.

I don't know, Private.

You did get caught red-squirrel-handed.

A clever game, I'll give him that.

Planting a decoy to cover up your penguin plastic surgery.

Nice move,

red squirrel!

Wait.

You think Private is the red squirrel?

Uh, that's not really, uh...

Possible.

That sounds like squirrel talk.

Maybe I got the right idea, wrong penguin suit, huh?

Who? Kowalski?

He's been helping us catch the red squirrel.

Inside man.

Your smarter than I thought, red.

But I know how to make you smart guys talk.

You ever had a six-pound halibut shoved up your left nostril?

Not the left one, no.

I did try to tell you.

Rico, ring-a-ding special, asap.

[phone rings]

Yes.

You don't say? Well, thanks, chief.

That was HQ.

They said you've been tracking another decoy this whole time.

The real red squirrel is hiding out in

Grr-furr-jiggle-stan.

You tuna-fed thumb suckers better sit this one out.

Griffajigglestan is no place for amateurs.

I'm coming for you, squirrel.

Clear.

Well, maybe we left our paranoia caps on a little too long.

Oh, I do feel bad for the old guy.

He's wasted decades chasing an enemy that probably doesn't even exist.

Red squirrel's log.

Special agent Rotgut has been disposed of.

Time to get to work.

Stupid eye patch.