Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,030 --> 00:00:03,020
Excuse me.
2
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,500
Are you Leslie Knope?
3
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,500
Yes.
4
00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:08,060
We are part of a group
5
00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:08,060
that tries to identify
6
00:00:08,140 --> 00:00:10,610
potential candidates
7
00:00:08,140 --> 00:00:10,610
for political office
8
00:00:08,140 --> 00:00:10,610
here in town.
9
00:00:10,670 --> 00:00:13,270
Are you
10
00:00:10,670 --> 00:00:13,270
theoretically interested
11
00:00:10,670 --> 00:00:13,270
in running for office?
12
00:00:13,340 --> 00:00:15,000
Absotootly, I am.
13
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:16,840
Very sorry that
14
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:16,840
I just used that word.
15
00:00:16,910 --> 00:00:18,040
Before we go any further,
16
00:00:18,110 --> 00:00:19,100
I need you to tell me,
17
00:00:19,180 --> 00:00:20,650
is there a scandal
18
00:00:19,180 --> 00:00:20,650
out there?
19
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:25,280
Is there anything at all
20
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:25,280
you need to tell us
21
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:25,280
about your life?
22
00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:26,750
Nope.
23
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:32,220
Who were the suits?
24
00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,360
They want me
25
00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,360
to run for office.
26
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,700
Oh, my God.
27
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,700
Leslie. Yay!
28
00:00:37,770 --> 00:00:39,100
I know, right? Yay!
29
00:00:39,170 --> 00:00:41,360
Yay! Yay!
30
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:42,900
Wait. What does that mean
31
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:42,900
about you and Ben?
32
00:00:42,970 --> 00:00:45,170
I don't know.
33
00:00:42,970 --> 00:00:45,170
I think it's going
34
00:00:42,970 --> 00:00:45,170
to be really bad.
35
00:00:45,310 --> 00:00:47,070
Uh-oh! Do you want to
36
00:00:45,310 --> 00:00:47,070
go back to saying "yay"?
37
00:00:47,140 --> 00:00:48,770
Yes, please. Yay!
38
00:00:47,140 --> 00:00:48,770
Yay!
39
00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:53,450
Knope, follow me.
40
00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:53,450
Just one second.
41
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:54,740
Now.
42
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:54,740
Ron. Hey!
43
00:00:55,050 --> 00:00:56,110
Whoa! Whoa.
44
00:00:55,050 --> 00:00:56,110
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
45
00:00:56,180 --> 00:00:58,120
Ron. Ron, Ron, Ron.
46
00:00:56,180 --> 00:00:58,120
What's going on?
47
00:00:58,220 --> 00:00:59,850
My ex-wife,
48
00:00:58,220 --> 00:00:59,850
Tammy, is back.
49
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:01,290
Yeah. I saw her
50
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:01,290
in the courtyard.
51
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,920
No, my other ex-wife,
52
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,920
Tammy. Tammy One.
53
00:01:03,990 --> 00:01:06,520
I have accrued
54
00:01:03,990 --> 00:01:06,520
228 personal days.
55
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,330
Starting right now,
56
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,330
I'm using all of them.
57
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,860
While I'm gone,
58
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,860
you're in charge.
59
00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:21,000
Also, I keep a sizable supply
60
00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:21,000
of ground chuck in my desk.
61
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,170
Remove it or it will
62
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,170
begin to smell.
63
00:01:23,710 --> 00:01:24,980
Godspeed.
64
00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:29,120
Hey, Ron.
65
00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:29,120
Move.
66
00:01:31,190 --> 00:01:32,590
Oh, jeez.
67
00:01:53,610 --> 00:01:55,810
Warning.
68
00:01:53,610 --> 00:01:55,810
High levels of swagger
69
00:01:53,610 --> 00:01:55,810
coming through.
70
00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,210
Tommy Haverford back
71
00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,210
at the Parks Department.
72
00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,510
Entertainment 720
73
00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,510
hockey jersey, anybody?
74
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:02,910
Branded mouse pad?
75
00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:05,750
Entertainment 720
76
00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:05,750
is just a little
77
00:02:05,820 --> 00:02:07,650
multinational
78
00:02:05,820 --> 00:02:07,650
entertainment company
79
00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,020
that I started with
80
00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,020
my boy Jean-Ralphio.
81
00:02:10,090 --> 00:02:11,750
What exactly do we do?
82
00:02:11,830 --> 00:02:14,560
Let's just say,
83
00:02:11,830 --> 00:02:14,560
it's too hard to explain.
84
00:02:14,930 --> 00:02:16,300
Donna, you look amazing.
85
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:17,700
How are the kids?
86
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:17,700
I don't have kids.
87
00:02:17,970 --> 00:02:19,830
Wow. How long has it been?
88
00:02:17,970 --> 00:02:19,830
Three weeks.
89
00:02:21,470 --> 00:02:23,740
So, did you get a chance
90
00:02:21,470 --> 00:02:23,740
to look at my sample
91
00:02:21,470 --> 00:02:23,740
position papers?
92
00:02:24,170 --> 00:02:26,940
How do you feel
93
00:02:24,170 --> 00:02:26,940
about my stance on
94
00:02:24,170 --> 00:02:26,940
Egyptian debt relief?
95
00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:30,740
It probably won't
96
00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:30,740
come up in a local
97
00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:30,740
city council election.
98
00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:34,250
But your thoroughness,
99
00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:34,250
as always,
100
00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:34,250
is impressive.
101
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,310
Thank you.
102
00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:38,450
Now, we have three months
103
00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:38,450
until you announce
104
00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:38,450
your campaign.
105
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,620
I think we should
106
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,620
start talking strategy.
107
00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:42,850
My strategy is to win.
108
00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:43,950
I have been dreaming
109
00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:46,020
about running
110
00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:46,020
for public office
111
00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:46,020
my whole life.
112
00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:48,320
While other girls were
113
00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:48,320
playing with Barbies,
114
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,300
I was playing with
115
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,300
a Geraldine Ferraro
116
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,300
action figure,
117
00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:53,830
that I made myself
118
00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:53,830
from a picture of her
119
00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:55,960
that I glued onto
120
00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:55,960
a popsicle stick.
121
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,010
See you next week?
122
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,010
Okay.
123
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,010
I'm looking forward to it.
124
00:02:58,070 --> 00:02:59,940
Hey. What?
125
00:02:58,070 --> 00:02:59,940
Who was that?
126
00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:01,540
Um...
127
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:03,740
Ladies. Just ladies.
128
00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:06,540
Meeting for
129
00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:06,540
the ladies' yacht club.
130
00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:08,250
Anchors away, ladies.
131
00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:08,250
What?
132
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:09,810
Just don't...
133
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,010
Ladies' yacht club?
134
00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:13,110
I cannot believe
135
00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:13,110
you haven't told him yet.
136
00:03:13,190 --> 00:03:15,210
After I tell him
137
00:03:13,190 --> 00:03:15,210
I'm running for office,
138
00:03:15,290 --> 00:03:16,850
we're going to
139
00:03:15,290 --> 00:03:16,850
have to break up.
140
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,890
Why can't you just
141
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,890
keep sneaking around?
142
00:03:19,290 --> 00:03:23,390
Oh, Ann. You beautiful,
143
00:03:19,290 --> 00:03:23,390
naive, sophisticated
144
00:03:19,290 --> 00:03:23,390
newborn baby.
145
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,760
What?
146
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,760
Before,
147
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,760
if people found out,
148
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:27,300
we would maybe
149
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:27,300
lose our jobs.
150
00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:30,430
Now, if people find out,
151
00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:30,430
it's going to be
152
00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:30,430
a major scandal.
153
00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,410
My campaign
154
00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,410
will be over
155
00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,410
before it begins.
156
00:03:33,110 --> 00:03:34,170
What are you
157
00:03:33,110 --> 00:03:34,170
going to do?
158
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,230
I have a plan,
159
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,230
and it's really good.
160
00:03:36,340 --> 00:03:38,640
I'm going to
161
00:03:36,340 --> 00:03:38,640
postpone telling him
162
00:03:38,710 --> 00:03:41,710
until you figure out
163
00:03:38,710 --> 00:03:41,710
what I'm supposed to do.
164
00:03:41,780 --> 00:03:42,910
So, get cracking.
165
00:03:42,980 --> 00:03:44,080
How is this on me?
166
00:03:44,150 --> 00:03:46,820
Oh, fine. I'll do it.
167
00:03:44,150 --> 00:03:46,820
God, who keeps
168
00:03:44,150 --> 00:03:46,820
emailing me?
169
00:03:47,790 --> 00:03:49,260
A penis.
170
00:03:47,790 --> 00:03:49,260
What?
171
00:03:50,660 --> 00:03:51,650
Oh, my God.
172
00:03:52,290 --> 00:03:53,390
Oh.
173
00:03:54,130 --> 00:03:55,530
It's emailing me, too.
174
00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:58,160
Whoever this is
175
00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:58,160
sent it to every woman
176
00:03:58,230 --> 00:03:59,600
in the entire government.
177
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:02,540
Oh, my God.
178
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,800
He's got to be
179
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,800
so embarrassed.
180
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,570
I mean, that's
181
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,570
a crazy accident.
182
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,940
No, Andy,
183
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,940
he did it
184
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,940
on purpose.
185
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,740
You know what? Respect.
186
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,740
That's a baller move.
187
00:04:12,810 --> 00:04:14,650
Pun intended.
188
00:04:12,810 --> 00:04:14,650
Excuse me.
189
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,190
Chris, Jerry's making us
190
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,190
look at dirty pictures
191
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,190
on his computer.
192
00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:20,480
It is exactly because
193
00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:20,480
of that lewd photo
194
00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:20,480
that I am here.
195
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,620
Ben and I are launching
196
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,620
a full investigation.
197
00:04:22,690 --> 00:04:26,320
I want to apologize
198
00:04:22,690 --> 00:04:26,320
to all the women and Jerry.
199
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,960
If I could go back in time
200
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,960
and cut your eyeballs out,
201
00:04:30,030 --> 00:04:31,020
I would.
202
00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,360
Wow, that is
203
00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,360
so sweet.
204
00:04:32,430 --> 00:04:33,460
Thank you.
205
00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:36,230
We are getting
206
00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:36,230
a lot of media requests
207
00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:36,230
about this.
208
00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:38,240
So, Leslie,
209
00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:38,240
can you do
210
00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:38,240
Perd Hapley?
211
00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:40,940
Oh! She can do Perd Hapley.
212
00:04:42,710 --> 00:04:44,440
Seriously.
213
00:04:42,710 --> 00:04:44,440
Can you do his TV show?
214
00:04:44,510 --> 00:04:45,500
Oh, yeah.
215
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,370
Andrew, my mandrew,
216
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,370
what you up to?
217
00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:52,110
I'm about to do
218
00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:52,110
an experiment where
219
00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:52,110
I huck this at the wall
220
00:04:52,190 --> 00:04:53,590
and see what happens.
221
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,960
But that can wait.
222
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,960
Shoe shine?
223
00:04:56,020 --> 00:04:59,020
Andy, I'm going to be honest.
224
00:04:56,020 --> 00:04:59,020
I came here today
225
00:04:56,020 --> 00:04:59,020
to talk to you.
226
00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:02,190
Now, look.
227
00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:02,190
You're enthusiastic.
228
00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:02,190
You're hard-working.
229
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:03,490
You can lift heavy things.
230
00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:05,960
I think there might
231
00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:05,960
be a place for you
232
00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:05,960
over at Entertainment 720.
233
00:05:06,870 --> 00:05:09,500
Oh, my God.
234
00:05:06,870 --> 00:05:09,500
What is that?
235
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:10,970
My company.
236
00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:13,270
Oh, I don't know, Tom.
237
00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:13,270
I'm just now
238
00:05:13,340 --> 00:05:14,900
getting really good
239
00:05:13,340 --> 00:05:14,900
at shoe shining.
240
00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:17,240
And, I'm still
241
00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:17,240
pretty bad at it.
242
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:20,050
Let me ask you this.
243
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:20,050
Are you living your dreams?
244
00:05:22,050 --> 00:05:23,210
I don't know, Tom.
245
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:24,380
I'm living mine,
246
00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,440
and if you
247
00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,440
want to live yours,
248
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:27,510
here's my card.
249
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:30,590
It's impossible to read.
250
00:05:30,660 --> 00:05:32,390
Black print,
251
00:05:30,660 --> 00:05:32,390
black background.
252
00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:34,590
It's the coolest possible
253
00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:34,590
color scheme.
254
00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:34,590
Yeah.
255
00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:36,860
It's also a strong magnet,
256
00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:36,860
so keep it out of your wallet.
257
00:05:36,930 --> 00:05:39,130
It will destroy
258
00:05:36,930 --> 00:05:39,130
your credit cards.
259
00:05:36,930 --> 00:05:39,130
Guaranteed.
260
00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:42,770
Destroy my credit cards.
261
00:05:42,870 --> 00:05:44,310
Debt and everything?
262
00:05:44,370 --> 00:05:45,770
Mr. Mayor,
263
00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:48,470
I promise you
264
00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:48,470
that we will find
265
00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:48,470
the owner of that wiener,
266
00:05:48,910 --> 00:05:51,070
and we will punish him.
267
00:05:48,910 --> 00:05:51,070
Goodbye.
268
00:05:51,550 --> 00:05:52,880
Ann Perkins.
269
00:05:51,550 --> 00:05:52,880
Hey.
270
00:05:52,950 --> 00:05:56,610
I didn't know who
271
00:05:52,950 --> 00:05:56,610
to come to with this,
272
00:05:52,950 --> 00:05:56,610
but that picture...
273
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,880
There's something
274
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,880
very disturbing
275
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,880
about the testicles.
276
00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:01,690
I've always felt
277
00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:01,690
the same way myself.
278
00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:04,930
The testicles
279
00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:04,930
are like the ears
280
00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:04,930
of the genital system.
281
00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:06,330
They serve a very
282
00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:06,330
important function,
283
00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:07,690
but they're not
284
00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:07,690
that great to look at.
285
00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:12,390
Okay. Wow! No, I was
286
00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:12,390
speaking medically.
287
00:06:12,470 --> 00:06:13,700
They're enlarged.
288
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,830
I think that maybe
289
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,830
that guy is sick
290
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,830
with something.
291
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,100
Perhaps a hernia or mumps.
292
00:06:19,270 --> 00:06:21,440
Ann Perkins.
293
00:06:19,270 --> 00:06:21,440
You really know
294
00:06:19,270 --> 00:06:21,440
your testes.
295
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,410
Thank you?
296
00:06:24,910 --> 00:06:28,440
For a female perspective
297
00:06:24,910 --> 00:06:28,440
on this scandal,
298
00:06:24,910 --> 00:06:28,440
we turn to a woman.
299
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,310
Leslie Knope,
300
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,310
I'm about to ask you
301
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,550
a question right now
302
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,550
and that question is this.
303
00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:35,320
The lewd photo.
304
00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:35,320
Just how big a deal is it?
305
00:06:35,390 --> 00:06:37,620
Well, frankly, Perd,
306
00:06:35,390 --> 00:06:37,620
it's not that big a deal,
307
00:06:37,690 --> 00:06:39,180
if you know what I mean.
308
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:44,200
I don't know what you mean,
309
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:44,200
but it had
310
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:44,200
the cadence of a joke.
311
00:06:44,430 --> 00:06:46,770
When men in government
312
00:06:44,430 --> 00:06:46,770
behave this way,
313
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,500
they betray
314
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,500
the public's trust.
315
00:06:48,970 --> 00:06:51,670
Maybe it's time
316
00:06:48,970 --> 00:06:51,670
for more women
317
00:06:48,970 --> 00:06:51,670
to be in charge.
318
00:06:51,740 --> 00:06:53,940
There you have it,
319
00:06:51,740 --> 00:06:53,940
where "it" is the thing
320
00:06:54,010 --> 00:06:56,410
Leslie Knope just said
321
00:06:54,010 --> 00:06:56,410
about this situation.
322
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:57,470
Perd Hap...
323
00:06:58,180 --> 00:06:59,200
How was that?
324
00:06:58,180 --> 00:06:59,200
Was that okay?
325
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,680
Amazing.
326
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,680
That sound bite is gold.
327
00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:03,620
You're going to get
328
00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:03,620
great feedback on this,
329
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:05,520
and we think
330
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:05,520
we can capitalize.
331
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,480
You're going to
332
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,480
announce your candidacy
333
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,480
on Friday.
334
00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:11,960
Friday. In three months.
335
00:07:12,030 --> 00:07:13,860
No, this Friday.
336
00:07:12,030 --> 00:07:13,860
Is that okay?
337
00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:17,300
No. Yeah.
338
00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:17,300
Yes, it is.
339
00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:17,300
Great. Okay.
340
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,270
We'll do that,
341
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,270
then, now. Soon.
342
00:07:19,330 --> 00:07:22,530
And I just have something
343
00:07:19,330 --> 00:07:22,530
I've been postponing for
344
00:07:19,330 --> 00:07:22,530
a while that I need to do,
345
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:23,590
but I'll do it now.
346
00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:25,200
Great.
347
00:07:25,940 --> 00:07:26,930
Yay!
348
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:31,110
I know it.
349
00:07:31,180 --> 00:07:32,940
Ben.
350
00:07:33,010 --> 00:07:34,850
Ben, I need to talk to you.
351
00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,180
That was my brother.
352
00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,180
He just had a baby girl.
353
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,350
Oh, my God.
354
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,350
That's horrible.
355
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,350
Or good.
356
00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:41,950
Full disclosure,
357
00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:41,950
I didn't listen to
358
00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:41,950
what you just said.
359
00:07:42,020 --> 00:07:43,320
I need to talk to you
360
00:07:42,020 --> 00:07:43,320
about something.
361
00:07:43,390 --> 00:07:44,650
Okay, well, before
362
00:07:43,390 --> 00:07:44,650
you say anything,
363
00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:48,030
let me just show you
364
00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:48,030
what I got at
365
00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:48,030
Doug's Donuts.
366
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:50,330
It's an L-shaped éclair.
367
00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:54,100
The "L" is for Leslie,
368
00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:54,100
for your name.
369
00:07:59,910 --> 00:08:01,400
Hey. How are you?
370
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:02,670
Bad. Really bad.
371
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,180
Oh, God.
372
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,180
How did the breakup go?
373
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:08,240
Well, I started crying
374
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:08,240
because he gave me an éclair.
375
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,580
And then we made out
376
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,580
and spent the night together.
377
00:08:10,650 --> 00:08:12,990
But this morning,
378
00:08:10,650 --> 00:08:12,990
in the cold light of day,
379
00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:15,110
I cooked breakfast
380
00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:15,110
and we made out some more.
381
00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:17,790
Wow! You opposite
382
00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:17,790
of broke up with him.
383
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,190
He gave me
384
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,190
an éclair, Ann.
385
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,060
Joe, I've determined
386
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,060
that the lewd picture
387
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,060
was sent by you,
388
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:28,800
because you sent it
389
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:28,800
from your personal
390
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:28,800
email address,
391
00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:34,970
stinkmaster69@alumni.
392
00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:34,970
sarahlawrencecollege.edu.
393
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:36,810
Really? Sarah Lawrence?
394
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,180
Yeah. I wanted
395
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,180
a small college experience.
396
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:42,280
You also bragged about it
397
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:42,280
to many of your co-workers.
398
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,820
There's an old
399
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,820
sewage department saying,
400
00:08:44,890 --> 00:08:48,410
"If you've got
401
00:08:44,890 --> 00:08:48,410
a nice drain pipe,
402
00:08:44,890 --> 00:08:48,410
there's no reason to hide it."
403
00:08:48,490 --> 00:08:49,690
I doubt that's a saying.
404
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,090
We are terminating you,
405
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,090
effective immediately.
406
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,390
Is this because
407
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,390
you're jealous?
408
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,390
No.
409
00:08:54,730 --> 00:08:56,100
It's because
410
00:08:54,730 --> 00:08:56,100
you broke the law.
411
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,190
The law of having
412
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,190
an amazing package.
413
00:08:58,270 --> 00:09:00,500
Before we have him
414
00:08:58,270 --> 00:09:00,500
forcibly removed,
415
00:08:58,270 --> 00:09:00,500
you should know this.
416
00:09:00,570 --> 00:09:02,300
That one of our
417
00:09:00,570 --> 00:09:02,300
female employees,
418
00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:04,200
a nurse, examined
419
00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:04,200
the photo you sent her.
420
00:09:04,570 --> 00:09:05,560
I bet she did.
421
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:08,240
And you have the mumps.
422
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:08,240
You might want to
423
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:08,240
get that checked.
424
00:09:08,310 --> 00:09:11,840
Sweet. Someone's got
425
00:09:08,310 --> 00:09:11,840
mumps on his lumps.
426
00:09:12,910 --> 00:09:14,680
Up high. Anyone?
427
00:09:14,980 --> 00:09:16,510
Ron isn't here.
428
00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:19,950
His ex-wife, Tammy, came,
429
00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:19,950
and he got scared
430
00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:19,950
and ran away.
431
00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:22,250
Well, as acting manager
432
00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:22,250
of the Parks Department,
433
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,490
I declare that everything
434
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,490
you are saying is stupid.
435
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:25,620
Hah!
436
00:09:25,730 --> 00:09:27,200
I love you.
437
00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:29,860
Hey, so, Tom
438
00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:29,860
offered me a job again.
439
00:09:29,930 --> 00:09:32,630
As my manager,
440
00:09:29,930 --> 00:09:32,630
what do you think
441
00:09:29,930 --> 00:09:32,630
I should do?
442
00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:34,130
What do you want to do?
443
00:09:34,370 --> 00:09:37,700
I think it'd be
444
00:09:34,370 --> 00:09:37,700
kind of cool
445
00:09:34,370 --> 00:09:37,700
to work for Tom.
446
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,370
So, take it.
447
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,370
But,
448
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:43,240
working at a start-up
449
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:43,240
can be kind of risky.
450
00:09:43,410 --> 00:09:44,470
So, don't take it.
451
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:45,540
But Tom told me to
452
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:45,540
follow my dreams.
453
00:09:45,610 --> 00:09:46,670
So, take it.
454
00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:48,080
But this isn't my dream.
455
00:09:48,150 --> 00:09:49,810
So, don't take it.
456
00:09:50,450 --> 00:09:52,510
I don't know
457
00:09:50,450 --> 00:09:52,510
what to do.
458
00:09:50,450 --> 00:09:52,510
Me, neither.
459
00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:55,950
You give such good advice.
460
00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:55,950
Babe, I love you.
461
00:09:56,990 --> 00:09:58,550
You're welcome.
462
00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:04,000
Ann Perkins.
463
00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:04,000
Hey.
464
00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:06,660
Did you maybe tell people
465
00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:06,660
that I diagnosed that guy
466
00:10:06,730 --> 00:10:08,600
with mumps based
467
00:10:06,730 --> 00:10:08,600
on his porn photo?
468
00:10:08,670 --> 00:10:09,930
I did. I was
469
00:10:08,670 --> 00:10:09,930
so proud of you.
470
00:10:10,170 --> 00:10:12,040
Okay. Because now
471
00:10:10,170 --> 00:10:12,040
I have everyone
472
00:10:12,110 --> 00:10:14,200
in City Hall sending me
473
00:10:12,110 --> 00:10:14,200
pictures of their junk,
474
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,180
asking me if
475
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,180
they have mumps.
476
00:10:16,410 --> 00:10:18,110
Oh, my God.
477
00:10:18,180 --> 00:10:21,340
Your inbox is literally
478
00:10:18,180 --> 00:10:21,340
filled with penises.
479
00:10:18,180 --> 00:10:21,340
Mmm-hmm.
480
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:23,350
I am so sorry.
481
00:10:23,420 --> 00:10:25,650
Oh, look.
482
00:10:23,420 --> 00:10:25,650
Ed Miller from Payroll.
483
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,480
Before I do this,
484
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,480
is there any possible way
485
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:30,650
that we could
486
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:30,650
still keep dating?
487
00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:32,850
We've attacked this
488
00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:32,850
from all angles.
489
00:10:33,190 --> 00:10:34,820
Either you don't
490
00:10:33,190 --> 00:10:34,820
run for office...
491
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,060
Which is out
492
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,060
of the question.
493
00:10:36,130 --> 00:10:39,100
...or you break up with him
494
00:10:36,130 --> 00:10:39,100
and avoid a potential scandal.
495
00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:41,400
Do you need to get that?
496
00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:41,400
No, it's just penises.
497
00:10:41,470 --> 00:10:43,900
Leslie, I don't want you
498
00:10:41,470 --> 00:10:43,900
to break up with him either.
499
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:46,010
There's just no other way.
500
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:46,010
Yeah.
501
00:10:46,070 --> 00:10:48,010
Just be direct and honest.
502
00:10:48,210 --> 00:10:49,870
Okay.
503
00:10:48,210 --> 00:10:49,870
Okay? Mmm.
504
00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:53,950
It's the entire
505
00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:53,950
Sanitation Department,
506
00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:53,950
from Muncie. Ugh!
507
00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:56,980
Would you like
508
00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:56,980
any wine to start?
509
00:10:57,350 --> 00:10:59,980
Yes. And I'm going to be
510
00:10:57,350 --> 00:10:59,980
direct and honest with you.
511
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:01,350
I would like
512
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:01,350
a glass of red wine,
513
00:11:01,420 --> 00:11:02,650
and I'll take
514
00:11:01,420 --> 00:11:02,650
the cheapest one you have
515
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,120
because I can't
516
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,120
tell the difference.
517
00:11:04,260 --> 00:11:05,850
I'll have the same.
518
00:11:04,260 --> 00:11:05,850
Great.
519
00:11:05,930 --> 00:11:06,950
Okay.
520
00:11:07,030 --> 00:11:08,460
Here's the deal.
521
00:11:07,030 --> 00:11:08,460
Okay.
522
00:11:09,230 --> 00:11:11,130
I really, really like you.
523
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,500
I like you, too.
524
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,500
And I think I know
525
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,500
what you're going to say.
526
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:15,430
I highly doubt that.
527
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,060
I think I do.
528
00:11:17,340 --> 00:11:18,400
Oh, I don't.
529
00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:20,770
And I got you something.
530
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,330
No. What is this?
531
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,480
Is this jewelry?
532
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,480
It's not. Just open it.
533
00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:25,670
No.
534
00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:25,670
Great.
535
00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:28,510
I need to go
536
00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:28,510
to another place.
537
00:11:28,580 --> 00:11:30,810
I'm going to go
538
00:11:28,580 --> 00:11:30,810
to the bathroom.
539
00:11:28,580 --> 00:11:30,810
The whiz palace,
540
00:11:31,050 --> 00:11:32,520
as we like
541
00:11:31,050 --> 00:11:32,520
to call it here.
542
00:11:32,590 --> 00:11:35,790
And I'm going to be back,
543
00:11:32,590 --> 00:11:35,790
and I'm not going to split.
544
00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:38,690
I'm here for you.
545
00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:38,690
Because we need to
546
00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:38,690
talk about stuff.
547
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,490
Okay?
548
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,490
All right.
549
00:11:42,060 --> 00:11:43,290
What...
550
00:11:46,530 --> 00:11:47,870
No.
551
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:50,560
Ron.
552
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:51,940
What are you doing here?
553
00:11:52,870 --> 00:11:54,370
Running away
554
00:11:52,870 --> 00:11:54,370
from my problems.
555
00:11:55,510 --> 00:11:56,570
Come on in.
556
00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:06,480
Okay. So, here's
557
00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:06,480
what's going on.
558
00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:06,480
I didn't ask.
559
00:12:06,550 --> 00:12:07,820
On Friday,
560
00:12:06,550 --> 00:12:07,820
I'm supposed to announce
561
00:12:07,890 --> 00:12:09,120
that I'm running
562
00:12:07,890 --> 00:12:09,120
for City Council.
563
00:12:09,190 --> 00:12:10,490
And I haven't
564
00:12:09,190 --> 00:12:10,490
told Ben yet.
565
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:12,790
I know I said
566
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:12,790
that we broke up,
567
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:12,790
but we couldn't.
568
00:12:12,860 --> 00:12:14,830
We're still dating.
569
00:12:12,860 --> 00:12:14,830
But now, I have to
570
00:12:12,860 --> 00:12:14,830
break up with him for real.
571
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:16,090
But I don't want
572
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:16,090
to break up with him
573
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:17,660
because he's so cute
574
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:17,660
and he's so nice...
575
00:12:17,730 --> 00:12:20,930
If you're going to stay here,
576
00:12:17,730 --> 00:12:20,930
there are three rules
577
00:12:17,730 --> 00:12:20,930
you need to follow.
578
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,030
One, no talk
579
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,030
about Tammy One.
580
00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:24,770
Two, no talk about Ben.
581
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,360
Three, no talk.
582
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:27,740
I didn't even
583
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:27,740
ask you last night.
584
00:12:27,810 --> 00:12:29,180
What is going on
585
00:12:27,810 --> 00:12:29,180
with Tammy One?
586
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,980
You just violated
587
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,980
rules number one and three.
588
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:34,180
You lose your
589
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:34,180
coffee privileges.
590
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:34,180
Oh.
591
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:39,010
You choose, Knope.
592
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:39,010
Hunting, fishing
593
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:39,010
or drinking?
594
00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:42,650
I'd really love to
595
00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:42,650
shoot a gun right now.
596
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:44,390
Fishing it is.
597
00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:47,060
And so,
598
00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:47,060
effective immediately,
599
00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:51,530
all male employees must
600
00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:51,530
stop sending explicit photos
601
00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:51,530
to Ms. Perkins.
602
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:55,040
If I may, what if based
603
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:55,040
on empirical evidence,
604
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:58,840
I truly believe there
605
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:58,840
is a grave and immediate
606
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:58,840
medical emergency?
607
00:12:59,210 --> 00:13:01,970
Were that the case,
608
00:12:59,210 --> 00:13:01,970
could I then
609
00:12:59,210 --> 00:13:01,970
show you my dong?
610
00:13:03,140 --> 00:13:04,130
No.
611
00:13:04,210 --> 00:13:06,040
That would be harassment.
612
00:13:04,210 --> 00:13:06,040
Fair enough.
613
00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:07,840
Now, completely
614
00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:07,840
different scenario.
615
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:10,010
Let's say,
616
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:10,010
I've been watching
617
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,380
a lot of women's golf
618
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,380
and I've had some wine.
619
00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:13,650
How about this?
620
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,950
I'm going to get
621
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,950
a male doctor to come in
622
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,950
and do some screenings.
623
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:19,790
Perfect. Just as a backup,
624
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:19,790
I'm sending you some photos.
625
00:13:19,860 --> 00:13:21,660
That will not be necessary.
626
00:13:19,860 --> 00:13:21,660
That's me.
627
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:25,290
Brand new day,
628
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:25,290
brand new merch.
629
00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:28,540
I got you guys some awesome
630
00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:28,540
Entertainment 720 stuff.
631
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,370
Donna, this is for you.
632
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,930
Entertainment 720 umbrella.
633
00:13:33,010 --> 00:13:34,980
Entertainment 720 flyswatters.
634
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,640
Rubik's Cube
635
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,640
with my face on it.
636
00:13:36,780 --> 00:13:37,770
Breath mints.
637
00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:39,600
Fireplace bellows.
638
00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,510
And drum roll, please.
639
00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:44,070
Drum roll
640
00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:44,070
sound effect key chain.
641
00:13:44,750 --> 00:13:47,450
Shouldn't you be working
642
00:13:44,750 --> 00:13:47,450
at your new company, Tom?
643
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,960
I am working, April.
644
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,960
I'm making high-level
645
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,960
network contacts.
646
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,350
You think
647
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,350
Bethenny Frankel sits
648
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,350
behind a desk all day?
649
00:13:53,430 --> 00:13:55,520
She makes $100 million a year.
650
00:13:53,430 --> 00:13:55,520
How much do you make a year?
651
00:13:56,430 --> 00:13:57,690
$101 million.
652
00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,460
I, for one,
653
00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,460
am happy to see Tom.
654
00:13:59,570 --> 00:14:03,030
Thanks, Jerry.
655
00:13:59,570 --> 00:14:03,030
Here. Have an umbrella
656
00:13:59,570 --> 00:14:03,030
and some breath strips.
657
00:14:03,140 --> 00:14:04,260
Whoa!
658
00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:06,130
All right,
659
00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:06,130
enough chit-chat,
660
00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:06,130
everyone.
661
00:14:06,210 --> 00:14:08,110
Please get back to work.
662
00:14:06,210 --> 00:14:08,110
You're not our boss.
663
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,040
What did you
664
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,040
just say to me?
665
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:11,240
Ma'am.
666
00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:14,310
So, did you get a chance
667
00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:14,310
to think about my offer?
668
00:14:14,380 --> 00:14:16,820
Yeah. I've been
669
00:14:14,380 --> 00:14:16,820
thinking a lot
670
00:14:14,380 --> 00:14:16,820
about what you said.
671
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:19,650
I want to do my dreams,
672
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:19,650
but I just don't think
673
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:19,650
my dream is working
674
00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:21,750
for a company that
675
00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:21,750
puts logos on stuff.
676
00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:25,120
That's not what
677
00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:25,120
my company does.
678
00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:25,120
Although, maybe we'll start.
679
00:14:25,190 --> 00:14:26,960
Hey. What you think?
680
00:14:27,030 --> 00:14:29,550
Donna, that looks great.
681
00:14:29,630 --> 00:14:31,030
I could do
682
00:14:29,630 --> 00:14:31,030
without this one.
683
00:14:32,970 --> 00:14:35,440
So, running for office.
684
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,340
Now, I'm going to
685
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,340
have to find
686
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,340
a replacement for you.
687
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:39,070
Hah! I might not win.
688
00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:41,410
You'll win.
689
00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:41,410
I might not run.
690
00:14:41,540 --> 00:14:42,530
You should.
691
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,640
What's our plan here, Knope?
692
00:14:46,710 --> 00:14:52,050
I figure we build a fire,
693
00:14:46,710 --> 00:14:52,050
roast the fish we shot,
694
00:14:46,710 --> 00:14:52,050
and make s'mores.
695
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,210
I don't have
696
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,210
the material
697
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,210
for s'mores.
698
00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:57,730
I do. I always carry
699
00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:57,730
emergency s'more rations
700
00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:57,730
in my car.
701
00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:02,060
Given your hunting abilities
702
00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:02,060
and my chocolate supply,
703
00:15:02,130 --> 00:15:06,570
I figure we could
704
00:15:02,130 --> 00:15:06,570
stay up here for
705
00:15:02,130 --> 00:15:06,570
two, three years?
706
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:13,930
You know,
707
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:13,930
when I was 12,
708
00:15:14,010 --> 00:15:17,140
my brother shot me
709
00:15:14,010 --> 00:15:17,140
in the pinky toe
710
00:15:14,010 --> 00:15:17,140
with a nail gun.
711
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:21,310
Granted,
712
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:21,310
it was a hilarious prank,
713
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:21,310
and we all had a good laugh.
714
00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:22,440
That's awful.
715
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,010
But I avoided
716
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,010
going to the doctor.
717
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,990
I hate paperwork.
718
00:15:26,290 --> 00:15:29,050
After a few weeks,
719
00:15:26,290 --> 00:15:29,050
the toe just
720
00:15:26,290 --> 00:15:29,050
kind of fell off.
721
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,850
You only have nine toes?
722
00:15:31,190 --> 00:15:33,350
I have the toes I have.
723
00:15:33,430 --> 00:15:35,230
Let's just
724
00:15:33,430 --> 00:15:35,230
leave it at that.
725
00:15:35,460 --> 00:15:38,660
The point is,
726
00:15:35,460 --> 00:15:38,660
the doctor said if
727
00:15:35,460 --> 00:15:38,660
I had come in right away,
728
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,220
they might have
729
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,220
saved the toe.
730
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,230
You can't run away
731
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,230
from your problems.
732
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,940
Especially if you
733
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,940
only have nine toes.
734
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,730
Sorry.
735
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,730
That was uncalled for.
736
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:54,780
I'm Ron Swanson,
737
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:54,780
and you're Leslie...Knope.
738
00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:58,180
You with me?
739
00:16:04,660 --> 00:16:05,960
What is your dream?
740
00:16:06,030 --> 00:16:08,500
It's to be
741
00:16:06,030 --> 00:16:08,500
the biggest rock star
742
00:16:06,030 --> 00:16:08,500
on the planet, obviously.
743
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,530
But that could take
744
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,530
another three to five years.
745
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,530
Don't get me wrong.
746
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,870
Shoe shining has been
747
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,870
a pretty wild ride,
748
00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:18,330
but is it possible
749
00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:18,330
there's something
750
00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:18,330
more out there for me?
751
00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:20,380
Andy, there's tons
752
00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:20,380
of stuff you can do.
753
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:22,640
I'll help you
754
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:22,640
figure it out.
755
00:16:22,710 --> 00:16:23,700
Really?
756
00:16:23,780 --> 00:16:27,720
Yes. One year from now,
757
00:16:23,780 --> 00:16:27,720
you, Andy Dwyer,
758
00:16:27,780 --> 00:16:29,550
will no longer
759
00:16:27,780 --> 00:16:29,550
be a shoe-shinist.
760
00:16:32,550 --> 00:16:34,950
Kyle, beat it.
761
00:16:32,550 --> 00:16:34,950
I'm going to make out
762
00:16:32,550 --> 00:16:34,950
with my wife now.
763
00:16:35,890 --> 00:16:37,950
But you've only done
764
00:16:35,890 --> 00:16:37,950
half of one of my shoes.
765
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:39,650
Here.
766
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:43,620
Now, I haven't
767
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:43,620
done anything.
768
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:43,620
Scram, kid.
769
00:16:47,970 --> 00:16:49,060
Hello.
770
00:16:49,140 --> 00:16:50,760
Hey, Ron. Welcome...
771
00:16:49,140 --> 00:16:50,760
Stop.
772
00:16:51,270 --> 00:16:52,870
First order of business.
773
00:16:52,940 --> 00:16:55,310
I promised Leslie
774
00:16:52,940 --> 00:16:55,310
I'd hire her
775
00:16:52,940 --> 00:16:55,310
a new assistant,
776
00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:58,350
so the department doesn't
777
00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:58,350
completely shut down
778
00:16:58,410 --> 00:16:59,640
while she runs for office.
779
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:01,840
You're running for office?
780
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:03,380
Yeah. City Council.
781
00:17:03,450 --> 00:17:05,580
Leslie, that is great.
782
00:17:03,450 --> 00:17:05,580
Thank you.
783
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:08,880
Will you pledge right now
784
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:08,880
not to raise taxes?
785
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:11,490
I think that's premature.
786
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,960
No pledge, no vote.
787
00:17:14,060 --> 00:17:15,890
The point is,
788
00:17:14,060 --> 00:17:15,890
she needs an assistant.
789
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,930
Start asking around.
790
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,930
Hire Andy.
791
00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:20,070
Andy can do it.
792
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,160
Sure. Yeah.
793
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,030
Done. Andy, you are
794
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,030
now Leslie's assistant.
795
00:17:26,770 --> 00:17:27,940
Honey.
796
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,680
Oh.
797
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:34,940
Leslie, I'm going to
798
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:34,940
work my ass off for you.
799
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:34,940
I'll do anything you ask me.
800
00:17:35,020 --> 00:17:36,990
I will prove myself.
801
00:17:35,020 --> 00:17:36,990
You don't even
802
00:17:35,020 --> 00:17:36,990
have to pay me.
803
00:17:37,050 --> 00:17:38,210
No. Honey. No.
804
00:17:37,050 --> 00:17:38,210
I will...
805
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:41,620
Tomorrow, there will be
806
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:41,620
a 300-page
807
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:41,620
orientation booklet,
808
00:17:41,690 --> 00:17:45,060
as well as a dozen
809
00:17:41,690 --> 00:17:45,060
homemade cookies
810
00:17:41,690 --> 00:17:45,060
in the shape of your face.
811
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,090
But today...
812
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,160
There is something else
813
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,160
I have to do.
814
00:17:53,070 --> 00:17:57,030
If any of you need
815
00:17:53,070 --> 00:17:57,030
anything at all, too bad.
816
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,140
Deal with your
817
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,140
problems yourselves,
818
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,140
like adults.
819
00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:02,340
I'll be in my office,
820
00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:02,340
waiting for Tammy One.
821
00:18:02,410 --> 00:18:03,400
You want me to find her?
822
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,850
There's no need.
823
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,850
She'll find me.
824
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:09,780
She has the tracking ability
825
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:09,780
and body odor of a bloodhound.
826
00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:17,120
Okay. So, now,
827
00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:17,120
you're sure that everything
828
00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:17,120
is okay, down there.
829
00:18:17,190 --> 00:18:18,280
You're perfectly healthy.
830
00:18:20,230 --> 00:18:23,320
That man has
831
00:18:20,230 --> 00:18:23,320
the largest penis
832
00:18:20,230 --> 00:18:23,320
I have ever seen.
833
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,770
I actually don't even
834
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,770
know if he has mumps.
835
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,770
I forgot to look.
836
00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:32,360
I was distracted,
837
00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:32,360
by the largest penis
838
00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:32,360
I have ever seen.
839
00:18:35,310 --> 00:18:37,240
I know I've been acting
840
00:18:35,310 --> 00:18:37,240
really weird lately.
841
00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:39,800
And, I really like you.
842
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:41,250
What I'm about to say
843
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:41,250
is going to contradict
844
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:42,580
the idea that
845
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:42,580
I really like you,
846
00:18:42,650 --> 00:18:44,380
but that won't change...
847
00:18:42,650 --> 00:18:44,380
I know.
848
00:18:42,650 --> 00:18:44,380
So, just open the box.
849
00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:45,510
Please stop
850
00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:45,510
bringing out
851
00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:45,510
the box.
852
00:18:45,590 --> 00:18:46,580
Okay?
853
00:18:45,590 --> 00:18:46,580
Leslie...
854
00:18:46,650 --> 00:18:48,560
You're being really nice.
855
00:18:46,650 --> 00:18:48,560
And what I'm about to say
856
00:18:48,620 --> 00:18:49,650
is going to
857
00:18:48,620 --> 00:18:49,650
make you hate me.
858
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,090
Okay. Then, I'll just
859
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,090
open the box for you.
860
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,000
Wow.
861
00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,530
You knew?
862
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,630
I figured it out
863
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,630
a while ago.
864
00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:04,200
I'm sorry.
865
00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:04,200
I should have told you
866
00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:04,200
I knew, but I just...
867
00:19:04,270 --> 00:19:06,540
I wanted this to last
868
00:19:04,270 --> 00:19:06,540
as long as possible.
869
00:19:09,140 --> 00:19:10,300
We have to break up.
870
00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:12,740
Why?
871
00:19:12,810 --> 00:19:14,780
Why do we
872
00:19:12,810 --> 00:19:14,780
have to break up?
873
00:19:14,850 --> 00:19:17,250
Leslie, everything
874
00:19:14,850 --> 00:19:17,250
you've accomplished,
875
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,220
you have earned and
876
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,220
you have worked for.
877
00:19:19,290 --> 00:19:21,950
I don't want anyone
878
00:19:19,290 --> 00:19:21,950
to think that you got
879
00:19:19,290 --> 00:19:21,950
where you are today
880
00:19:22,020 --> 00:19:24,390
by sleeping
881
00:19:22,020 --> 00:19:24,390
with your boss.
882
00:19:25,190 --> 00:19:26,790
But I really like
883
00:19:25,190 --> 00:19:26,790
sleeping with my boss.
884
00:19:26,890 --> 00:19:28,590
Yeah. Yeah.
885
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:31,730
Okay, look.
886
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:31,730
I'm going to make this
887
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:31,730
really easy for you.
888
00:19:33,170 --> 00:19:34,760
It's not you, it's me.
889
00:19:35,370 --> 00:19:36,740
I'm not ready
890
00:19:35,370 --> 00:19:36,740
for a commitment.
891
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,860
I just don't
892
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,860
like you anymore.
893
00:19:38,940 --> 00:19:41,200
I know it's hard
894
00:19:38,940 --> 00:19:41,200
to hear that, but...
895
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,610
You're boring.
896
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,610
And, frankly,
897
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,610
you disgust me.
898
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:45,140
Ugh!
899
00:19:48,050 --> 00:19:49,380
How did you
900
00:19:48,050 --> 00:19:49,380
figure it out?
901
00:19:49,450 --> 00:19:52,320
Leslie, there was a dude
902
00:19:49,450 --> 00:19:52,320
in the ladies' yacht club.
903
00:19:52,790 --> 00:19:54,650
Yeah,
904
00:19:52,790 --> 00:19:54,650
but I covered that
905
00:19:52,790 --> 00:19:54,650
pretty well.
906
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,450
Also, you've been making
907
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,450
campaign speeches
908
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,450
in your sleep.
909
00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:03,990
Granted, you always do that,
910
00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:03,990
but they got really
911
00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:03,990
specific and moving.
912
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:05,900
Did I have
913
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:05,900
a good opening line?
914
00:20:06,930 --> 00:20:09,340
It was simple,
915
00:20:06,930 --> 00:20:09,340
but I liked it.
916
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,330
Friends,
917
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,330
honored guests,
918
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,330
Pawneeans.
919
00:20:13,910 --> 00:20:17,240
I am Leslie Knope,
920
00:20:13,910 --> 00:20:17,240
and I am running
921
00:20:13,910 --> 00:20:17,240
for City Council.
922
00:20:32,660 --> 00:20:33,650
Hello, Tammy.
923
00:20:34,060 --> 00:20:35,260
Ronald.
924
00:20:36,630 --> 00:20:38,620
That's enough small talk.
925
00:20:36,630 --> 00:20:38,620
What do you want?
926
00:20:38,930 --> 00:20:41,430
You remember what I do
927
00:20:38,930 --> 00:20:41,430
for a living, I trust.
928
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,290
Yes. You ruin
929
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,290
people's lives.
930
00:20:46,670 --> 00:20:48,340
You're being audited, Ronald.
931
00:20:49,410 --> 00:20:50,430
I don't care.
932
00:20:50,610 --> 00:20:52,410
Then why is your
933
00:20:50,610 --> 00:20:52,410
mustache trembling?
934
00:20:53,510 --> 00:20:55,240
I'm here as a friend.
935
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:56,580
Call it nostalgia.
936
00:20:56,850 --> 00:21:01,310
Or, perhaps, guilt for
937
00:20:56,850 --> 00:21:01,310
all the times I tried to
938
00:20:56,850 --> 00:21:01,310
smother you in your sleep.
939
00:21:01,690 --> 00:21:03,020
I don't need your help.
940
00:21:03,090 --> 00:21:04,850
Wrong. You do.
941
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,520
As you're
942
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,520
so fond of saying,
943
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,520
it's a free country.
944
00:21:07,730 --> 00:21:08,720
Good luck.
945
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,890
I hope you don't go to jail.
946
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,270
Sit up straight.
947
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,270
You're not doing
948
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,270
your breasts any favors.
949
00:21:19,140 --> 00:21:20,130
Thank you.
950
00:21:21,710 --> 00:21:24,680
Honey, your breasts
951
00:21:21,710 --> 00:21:24,680
look amazing.
50556
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.