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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,030 --> 00:00:03,020 Excuse me. 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,500 Are you Leslie Knope? 3 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,500 Yes. 4 00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:08,060 We are part of a group 5 00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:08,060 that tries to identify 6 00:00:08,140 --> 00:00:10,610 potential candidates 7 00:00:08,140 --> 00:00:10,610 for political office 8 00:00:08,140 --> 00:00:10,610 here in town. 9 00:00:10,670 --> 00:00:13,270 Are you 10 00:00:10,670 --> 00:00:13,270 theoretically interested 11 00:00:10,670 --> 00:00:13,270 in running for office? 12 00:00:13,340 --> 00:00:15,000 Absotootly, I am. 13 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:16,840 Very sorry that 14 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:16,840 I just used that word. 15 00:00:16,910 --> 00:00:18,040 Before we go any further, 16 00:00:18,110 --> 00:00:19,100 I need you to tell me, 17 00:00:19,180 --> 00:00:20,650 is there a scandal 18 00:00:19,180 --> 00:00:20,650 out there? 19 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:25,280 Is there anything at all 20 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:25,280 you need to tell us 21 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:25,280 about your life? 22 00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:26,750 Nope. 23 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:32,220 Who were the suits? 24 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,360 They want me 25 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,360 to run for office. 26 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,700 Oh, my God. 27 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,700 Leslie. Yay! 28 00:00:37,770 --> 00:00:39,100 I know, right? Yay! 29 00:00:39,170 --> 00:00:41,360 Yay! Yay! 30 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:42,900 Wait. What does that mean 31 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:42,900 about you and Ben? 32 00:00:42,970 --> 00:00:45,170 I don't know. 33 00:00:42,970 --> 00:00:45,170 I think it's going 34 00:00:42,970 --> 00:00:45,170 to be really bad. 35 00:00:45,310 --> 00:00:47,070 Uh-oh! Do you want to 36 00:00:45,310 --> 00:00:47,070 go back to saying "yay"? 37 00:00:47,140 --> 00:00:48,770 Yes, please. Yay! 38 00:00:47,140 --> 00:00:48,770 Yay! 39 00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:53,450 Knope, follow me. 40 00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:53,450 Just one second. 41 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:54,740 Now. 42 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:54,740 Ron. Hey! 43 00:00:55,050 --> 00:00:56,110 Whoa! Whoa. 44 00:00:55,050 --> 00:00:56,110 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 45 00:00:56,180 --> 00:00:58,120 Ron. Ron, Ron, Ron. 46 00:00:56,180 --> 00:00:58,120 What's going on? 47 00:00:58,220 --> 00:00:59,850 My ex-wife, 48 00:00:58,220 --> 00:00:59,850 Tammy, is back. 49 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:01,290 Yeah. I saw her 50 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:01,290 in the courtyard. 51 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,920 No, my other ex-wife, 52 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,920 Tammy. Tammy One. 53 00:01:03,990 --> 00:01:06,520 I have accrued 54 00:01:03,990 --> 00:01:06,520 228 personal days. 55 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,330 Starting right now, 56 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,330 I'm using all of them. 57 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,860 While I'm gone, 58 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,860 you're in charge. 59 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:21,000 Also, I keep a sizable supply 60 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:21,000 of ground chuck in my desk. 61 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,170 Remove it or it will 62 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,170 begin to smell. 63 00:01:23,710 --> 00:01:24,980 Godspeed. 64 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:29,120 Hey, Ron. 65 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:29,120 Move. 66 00:01:31,190 --> 00:01:32,590 Oh, jeez. 67 00:01:53,610 --> 00:01:55,810 Warning. 68 00:01:53,610 --> 00:01:55,810 High levels of swagger 69 00:01:53,610 --> 00:01:55,810 coming through. 70 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,210 Tommy Haverford back 71 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,210 at the Parks Department. 72 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,510 Entertainment 720 73 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,510 hockey jersey, anybody? 74 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:02,910 Branded mouse pad? 75 00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:05,750 Entertainment 720 76 00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:05,750 is just a little 77 00:02:05,820 --> 00:02:07,650 multinational 78 00:02:05,820 --> 00:02:07,650 entertainment company 79 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,020 that I started with 80 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,020 my boy Jean-Ralphio. 81 00:02:10,090 --> 00:02:11,750 What exactly do we do? 82 00:02:11,830 --> 00:02:14,560 Let's just say, 83 00:02:11,830 --> 00:02:14,560 it's too hard to explain. 84 00:02:14,930 --> 00:02:16,300 Donna, you look amazing. 85 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:17,700 How are the kids? 86 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:17,700 I don't have kids. 87 00:02:17,970 --> 00:02:19,830 Wow. How long has it been? 88 00:02:17,970 --> 00:02:19,830 Three weeks. 89 00:02:21,470 --> 00:02:23,740 So, did you get a chance 90 00:02:21,470 --> 00:02:23,740 to look at my sample 91 00:02:21,470 --> 00:02:23,740 position papers? 92 00:02:24,170 --> 00:02:26,940 How do you feel 93 00:02:24,170 --> 00:02:26,940 about my stance on 94 00:02:24,170 --> 00:02:26,940 Egyptian debt relief? 95 00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:30,740 It probably won't 96 00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:30,740 come up in a local 97 00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:30,740 city council election. 98 00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:34,250 But your thoroughness, 99 00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:34,250 as always, 100 00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:34,250 is impressive. 101 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,310 Thank you. 102 00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:38,450 Now, we have three months 103 00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:38,450 until you announce 104 00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:38,450 your campaign. 105 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,620 I think we should 106 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,620 start talking strategy. 107 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:42,850 My strategy is to win. 108 00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:43,950 I have been dreaming 109 00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:46,020 about running 110 00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:46,020 for public office 111 00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:46,020 my whole life. 112 00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:48,320 While other girls were 113 00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:48,320 playing with Barbies, 114 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,300 I was playing with 115 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,300 a Geraldine Ferraro 116 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,300 action figure, 117 00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:53,830 that I made myself 118 00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:53,830 from a picture of her 119 00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:55,960 that I glued onto 120 00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:55,960 a popsicle stick. 121 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,010 See you next week? 122 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,010 Okay. 123 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,010 I'm looking forward to it. 124 00:02:58,070 --> 00:02:59,940 Hey. What? 125 00:02:58,070 --> 00:02:59,940 Who was that? 126 00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:01,540 Um... 127 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:03,740 Ladies. Just ladies. 128 00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:06,540 Meeting for 129 00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:06,540 the ladies' yacht club. 130 00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:08,250 Anchors away, ladies. 131 00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:08,250 What? 132 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:09,810 Just don't... 133 00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,010 Ladies' yacht club? 134 00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:13,110 I cannot believe 135 00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:13,110 you haven't told him yet. 136 00:03:13,190 --> 00:03:15,210 After I tell him 137 00:03:13,190 --> 00:03:15,210 I'm running for office, 138 00:03:15,290 --> 00:03:16,850 we're going to 139 00:03:15,290 --> 00:03:16,850 have to break up. 140 00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,890 Why can't you just 141 00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,890 keep sneaking around? 142 00:03:19,290 --> 00:03:23,390 Oh, Ann. You beautiful, 143 00:03:19,290 --> 00:03:23,390 naive, sophisticated 144 00:03:19,290 --> 00:03:23,390 newborn baby. 145 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,760 What? 146 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,760 Before, 147 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,760 if people found out, 148 00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:27,300 we would maybe 149 00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:27,300 lose our jobs. 150 00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:30,430 Now, if people find out, 151 00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:30,430 it's going to be 152 00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:30,430 a major scandal. 153 00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,410 My campaign 154 00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,410 will be over 155 00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,410 before it begins. 156 00:03:33,110 --> 00:03:34,170 What are you 157 00:03:33,110 --> 00:03:34,170 going to do? 158 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,230 I have a plan, 159 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,230 and it's really good. 160 00:03:36,340 --> 00:03:38,640 I'm going to 161 00:03:36,340 --> 00:03:38,640 postpone telling him 162 00:03:38,710 --> 00:03:41,710 until you figure out 163 00:03:38,710 --> 00:03:41,710 what I'm supposed to do. 164 00:03:41,780 --> 00:03:42,910 So, get cracking. 165 00:03:42,980 --> 00:03:44,080 How is this on me? 166 00:03:44,150 --> 00:03:46,820 Oh, fine. I'll do it. 167 00:03:44,150 --> 00:03:46,820 God, who keeps 168 00:03:44,150 --> 00:03:46,820 emailing me? 169 00:03:47,790 --> 00:03:49,260 A penis. 170 00:03:47,790 --> 00:03:49,260 What? 171 00:03:50,660 --> 00:03:51,650 Oh, my God. 172 00:03:52,290 --> 00:03:53,390 Oh. 173 00:03:54,130 --> 00:03:55,530 It's emailing me, too. 174 00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:58,160 Whoever this is 175 00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:58,160 sent it to every woman 176 00:03:58,230 --> 00:03:59,600 in the entire government. 177 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:02,540 Oh, my God. 178 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,800 He's got to be 179 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,800 so embarrassed. 180 00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,570 I mean, that's 181 00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,570 a crazy accident. 182 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,940 No, Andy, 183 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,940 he did it 184 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,940 on purpose. 185 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,740 You know what? Respect. 186 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,740 That's a baller move. 187 00:04:12,810 --> 00:04:14,650 Pun intended. 188 00:04:12,810 --> 00:04:14,650 Excuse me. 189 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,190 Chris, Jerry's making us 190 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,190 look at dirty pictures 191 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,190 on his computer. 192 00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:20,480 It is exactly because 193 00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:20,480 of that lewd photo 194 00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:20,480 that I am here. 195 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,620 Ben and I are launching 196 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,620 a full investigation. 197 00:04:22,690 --> 00:04:26,320 I want to apologize 198 00:04:22,690 --> 00:04:26,320 to all the women and Jerry. 199 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,960 If I could go back in time 200 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,960 and cut your eyeballs out, 201 00:04:30,030 --> 00:04:31,020 I would. 202 00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,360 Wow, that is 203 00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,360 so sweet. 204 00:04:32,430 --> 00:04:33,460 Thank you. 205 00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:36,230 We are getting 206 00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:36,230 a lot of media requests 207 00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:36,230 about this. 208 00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:38,240 So, Leslie, 209 00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:38,240 can you do 210 00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:38,240 Perd Hapley? 211 00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:40,940 Oh! She can do Perd Hapley. 212 00:04:42,710 --> 00:04:44,440 Seriously. 213 00:04:42,710 --> 00:04:44,440 Can you do his TV show? 214 00:04:44,510 --> 00:04:45,500 Oh, yeah. 215 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,370 Andrew, my mandrew, 216 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,370 what you up to? 217 00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:52,110 I'm about to do 218 00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:52,110 an experiment where 219 00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:52,110 I huck this at the wall 220 00:04:52,190 --> 00:04:53,590 and see what happens. 221 00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,960 But that can wait. 222 00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,960 Shoe shine? 223 00:04:56,020 --> 00:04:59,020 Andy, I'm going to be honest. 224 00:04:56,020 --> 00:04:59,020 I came here today 225 00:04:56,020 --> 00:04:59,020 to talk to you. 226 00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:02,190 Now, look. 227 00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:02,190 You're enthusiastic. 228 00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:02,190 You're hard-working. 229 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:03,490 You can lift heavy things. 230 00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:05,960 I think there might 231 00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:05,960 be a place for you 232 00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:05,960 over at Entertainment 720. 233 00:05:06,870 --> 00:05:09,500 Oh, my God. 234 00:05:06,870 --> 00:05:09,500 What is that? 235 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:10,970 My company. 236 00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:13,270 Oh, I don't know, Tom. 237 00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:13,270 I'm just now 238 00:05:13,340 --> 00:05:14,900 getting really good 239 00:05:13,340 --> 00:05:14,900 at shoe shining. 240 00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:17,240 And, I'm still 241 00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:17,240 pretty bad at it. 242 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:20,050 Let me ask you this. 243 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:20,050 Are you living your dreams? 244 00:05:22,050 --> 00:05:23,210 I don't know, Tom. 245 00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:24,380 I'm living mine, 246 00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,440 and if you 247 00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,440 want to live yours, 248 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:27,510 here's my card. 249 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:30,590 It's impossible to read. 250 00:05:30,660 --> 00:05:32,390 Black print, 251 00:05:30,660 --> 00:05:32,390 black background. 252 00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:34,590 It's the coolest possible 253 00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:34,590 color scheme. 254 00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:34,590 Yeah. 255 00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:36,860 It's also a strong magnet, 256 00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:36,860 so keep it out of your wallet. 257 00:05:36,930 --> 00:05:39,130 It will destroy 258 00:05:36,930 --> 00:05:39,130 your credit cards. 259 00:05:36,930 --> 00:05:39,130 Guaranteed. 260 00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:42,770 Destroy my credit cards. 261 00:05:42,870 --> 00:05:44,310 Debt and everything? 262 00:05:44,370 --> 00:05:45,770 Mr. Mayor, 263 00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:48,470 I promise you 264 00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:48,470 that we will find 265 00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:48,470 the owner of that wiener, 266 00:05:48,910 --> 00:05:51,070 and we will punish him. 267 00:05:48,910 --> 00:05:51,070 Goodbye. 268 00:05:51,550 --> 00:05:52,880 Ann Perkins. 269 00:05:51,550 --> 00:05:52,880 Hey. 270 00:05:52,950 --> 00:05:56,610 I didn't know who 271 00:05:52,950 --> 00:05:56,610 to come to with this, 272 00:05:52,950 --> 00:05:56,610 but that picture... 273 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,880 There's something 274 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,880 very disturbing 275 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,880 about the testicles. 276 00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:01,690 I've always felt 277 00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:01,690 the same way myself. 278 00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:04,930 The testicles 279 00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:04,930 are like the ears 280 00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:04,930 of the genital system. 281 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:06,330 They serve a very 282 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:06,330 important function, 283 00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:07,690 but they're not 284 00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:07,690 that great to look at. 285 00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:12,390 Okay. Wow! No, I was 286 00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:12,390 speaking medically. 287 00:06:12,470 --> 00:06:13,700 They're enlarged. 288 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,830 I think that maybe 289 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,830 that guy is sick 290 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,830 with something. 291 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,100 Perhaps a hernia or mumps. 292 00:06:19,270 --> 00:06:21,440 Ann Perkins. 293 00:06:19,270 --> 00:06:21,440 You really know 294 00:06:19,270 --> 00:06:21,440 your testes. 295 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,410 Thank you? 296 00:06:24,910 --> 00:06:28,440 For a female perspective 297 00:06:24,910 --> 00:06:28,440 on this scandal, 298 00:06:24,910 --> 00:06:28,440 we turn to a woman. 299 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,310 Leslie Knope, 300 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,310 I'm about to ask you 301 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,550 a question right now 302 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,550 and that question is this. 303 00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:35,320 The lewd photo. 304 00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:35,320 Just how big a deal is it? 305 00:06:35,390 --> 00:06:37,620 Well, frankly, Perd, 306 00:06:35,390 --> 00:06:37,620 it's not that big a deal, 307 00:06:37,690 --> 00:06:39,180 if you know what I mean. 308 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:44,200 I don't know what you mean, 309 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:44,200 but it had 310 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:44,200 the cadence of a joke. 311 00:06:44,430 --> 00:06:46,770 When men in government 312 00:06:44,430 --> 00:06:46,770 behave this way, 313 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,500 they betray 314 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,500 the public's trust. 315 00:06:48,970 --> 00:06:51,670 Maybe it's time 316 00:06:48,970 --> 00:06:51,670 for more women 317 00:06:48,970 --> 00:06:51,670 to be in charge. 318 00:06:51,740 --> 00:06:53,940 There you have it, 319 00:06:51,740 --> 00:06:53,940 where "it" is the thing 320 00:06:54,010 --> 00:06:56,410 Leslie Knope just said 321 00:06:54,010 --> 00:06:56,410 about this situation. 322 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:57,470 Perd Hap... 323 00:06:58,180 --> 00:06:59,200 How was that? 324 00:06:58,180 --> 00:06:59,200 Was that okay? 325 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,680 Amazing. 326 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,680 That sound bite is gold. 327 00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:03,620 You're going to get 328 00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:03,620 great feedback on this, 329 00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:05,520 and we think 330 00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:05,520 we can capitalize. 331 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,480 You're going to 332 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,480 announce your candidacy 333 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,480 on Friday. 334 00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:11,960 Friday. In three months. 335 00:07:12,030 --> 00:07:13,860 No, this Friday. 336 00:07:12,030 --> 00:07:13,860 Is that okay? 337 00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:17,300 No. Yeah. 338 00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:17,300 Yes, it is. 339 00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:17,300 Great. Okay. 340 00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,270 We'll do that, 341 00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,270 then, now. Soon. 342 00:07:19,330 --> 00:07:22,530 And I just have something 343 00:07:19,330 --> 00:07:22,530 I've been postponing for 344 00:07:19,330 --> 00:07:22,530 a while that I need to do, 345 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:23,590 but I'll do it now. 346 00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:25,200 Great. 347 00:07:25,940 --> 00:07:26,930 Yay! 348 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:31,110 I know it. 349 00:07:31,180 --> 00:07:32,940 Ben. 350 00:07:33,010 --> 00:07:34,850 Ben, I need to talk to you. 351 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,180 That was my brother. 352 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,180 He just had a baby girl. 353 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,350 Oh, my God. 354 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,350 That's horrible. 355 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,350 Or good. 356 00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:41,950 Full disclosure, 357 00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:41,950 I didn't listen to 358 00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:41,950 what you just said. 359 00:07:42,020 --> 00:07:43,320 I need to talk to you 360 00:07:42,020 --> 00:07:43,320 about something. 361 00:07:43,390 --> 00:07:44,650 Okay, well, before 362 00:07:43,390 --> 00:07:44,650 you say anything, 363 00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:48,030 let me just show you 364 00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:48,030 what I got at 365 00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:48,030 Doug's Donuts. 366 00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:50,330 It's an L-shaped éclair. 367 00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:54,100 The "L" is for Leslie, 368 00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:54,100 for your name. 369 00:07:59,910 --> 00:08:01,400 Hey. How are you? 370 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:02,670 Bad. Really bad. 371 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,180 Oh, God. 372 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,180 How did the breakup go? 373 00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:08,240 Well, I started crying 374 00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:08,240 because he gave me an éclair. 375 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,580 And then we made out 376 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,580 and spent the night together. 377 00:08:10,650 --> 00:08:12,990 But this morning, 378 00:08:10,650 --> 00:08:12,990 in the cold light of day, 379 00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:15,110 I cooked breakfast 380 00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:15,110 and we made out some more. 381 00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:17,790 Wow! You opposite 382 00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:17,790 of broke up with him. 383 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,190 He gave me 384 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,190 an éclair, Ann. 385 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,060 Joe, I've determined 386 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,060 that the lewd picture 387 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,060 was sent by you, 388 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:28,800 because you sent it 389 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:28,800 from your personal 390 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:28,800 email address, 391 00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:34,970 stinkmaster69@alumni. 392 00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:34,970 sarahlawrencecollege.edu. 393 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:36,810 Really? Sarah Lawrence? 394 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,180 Yeah. I wanted 395 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,180 a small college experience. 396 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:42,280 You also bragged about it 397 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:42,280 to many of your co-workers. 398 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,820 There's an old 399 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,820 sewage department saying, 400 00:08:44,890 --> 00:08:48,410 "If you've got 401 00:08:44,890 --> 00:08:48,410 a nice drain pipe, 402 00:08:44,890 --> 00:08:48,410 there's no reason to hide it." 403 00:08:48,490 --> 00:08:49,690 I doubt that's a saying. 404 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,090 We are terminating you, 405 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,090 effective immediately. 406 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,390 Is this because 407 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,390 you're jealous? 408 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,390 No. 409 00:08:54,730 --> 00:08:56,100 It's because 410 00:08:54,730 --> 00:08:56,100 you broke the law. 411 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,190 The law of having 412 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,190 an amazing package. 413 00:08:58,270 --> 00:09:00,500 Before we have him 414 00:08:58,270 --> 00:09:00,500 forcibly removed, 415 00:08:58,270 --> 00:09:00,500 you should know this. 416 00:09:00,570 --> 00:09:02,300 That one of our 417 00:09:00,570 --> 00:09:02,300 female employees, 418 00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:04,200 a nurse, examined 419 00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:04,200 the photo you sent her. 420 00:09:04,570 --> 00:09:05,560 I bet she did. 421 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:08,240 And you have the mumps. 422 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:08,240 You might want to 423 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:08,240 get that checked. 424 00:09:08,310 --> 00:09:11,840 Sweet. Someone's got 425 00:09:08,310 --> 00:09:11,840 mumps on his lumps. 426 00:09:12,910 --> 00:09:14,680 Up high. Anyone? 427 00:09:14,980 --> 00:09:16,510 Ron isn't here. 428 00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:19,950 His ex-wife, Tammy, came, 429 00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:19,950 and he got scared 430 00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:19,950 and ran away. 431 00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:22,250 Well, as acting manager 432 00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:22,250 of the Parks Department, 433 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,490 I declare that everything 434 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,490 you are saying is stupid. 435 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:25,620 Hah! 436 00:09:25,730 --> 00:09:27,200 I love you. 437 00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:29,860 Hey, so, Tom 438 00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:29,860 offered me a job again. 439 00:09:29,930 --> 00:09:32,630 As my manager, 440 00:09:29,930 --> 00:09:32,630 what do you think 441 00:09:29,930 --> 00:09:32,630 I should do? 442 00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:34,130 What do you want to do? 443 00:09:34,370 --> 00:09:37,700 I think it'd be 444 00:09:34,370 --> 00:09:37,700 kind of cool 445 00:09:34,370 --> 00:09:37,700 to work for Tom. 446 00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,370 So, take it. 447 00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,370 But, 448 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:43,240 working at a start-up 449 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:43,240 can be kind of risky. 450 00:09:43,410 --> 00:09:44,470 So, don't take it. 451 00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:45,540 But Tom told me to 452 00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:45,540 follow my dreams. 453 00:09:45,610 --> 00:09:46,670 So, take it. 454 00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:48,080 But this isn't my dream. 455 00:09:48,150 --> 00:09:49,810 So, don't take it. 456 00:09:50,450 --> 00:09:52,510 I don't know 457 00:09:50,450 --> 00:09:52,510 what to do. 458 00:09:50,450 --> 00:09:52,510 Me, neither. 459 00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:55,950 You give such good advice. 460 00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:55,950 Babe, I love you. 461 00:09:56,990 --> 00:09:58,550 You're welcome. 462 00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:04,000 Ann Perkins. 463 00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:04,000 Hey. 464 00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:06,660 Did you maybe tell people 465 00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:06,660 that I diagnosed that guy 466 00:10:06,730 --> 00:10:08,600 with mumps based 467 00:10:06,730 --> 00:10:08,600 on his porn photo? 468 00:10:08,670 --> 00:10:09,930 I did. I was 469 00:10:08,670 --> 00:10:09,930 so proud of you. 470 00:10:10,170 --> 00:10:12,040 Okay. Because now 471 00:10:10,170 --> 00:10:12,040 I have everyone 472 00:10:12,110 --> 00:10:14,200 in City Hall sending me 473 00:10:12,110 --> 00:10:14,200 pictures of their junk, 474 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,180 asking me if 475 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,180 they have mumps. 476 00:10:16,410 --> 00:10:18,110 Oh, my God. 477 00:10:18,180 --> 00:10:21,340 Your inbox is literally 478 00:10:18,180 --> 00:10:21,340 filled with penises. 479 00:10:18,180 --> 00:10:21,340 Mmm-hmm. 480 00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:23,350 I am so sorry. 481 00:10:23,420 --> 00:10:25,650 Oh, look. 482 00:10:23,420 --> 00:10:25,650 Ed Miller from Payroll. 483 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,480 Before I do this, 484 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,480 is there any possible way 485 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:30,650 that we could 486 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:30,650 still keep dating? 487 00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:32,850 We've attacked this 488 00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:32,850 from all angles. 489 00:10:33,190 --> 00:10:34,820 Either you don't 490 00:10:33,190 --> 00:10:34,820 run for office... 491 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,060 Which is out 492 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,060 of the question. 493 00:10:36,130 --> 00:10:39,100 ...or you break up with him 494 00:10:36,130 --> 00:10:39,100 and avoid a potential scandal. 495 00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:41,400 Do you need to get that? 496 00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:41,400 No, it's just penises. 497 00:10:41,470 --> 00:10:43,900 Leslie, I don't want you 498 00:10:41,470 --> 00:10:43,900 to break up with him either. 499 00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:46,010 There's just no other way. 500 00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:46,010 Yeah. 501 00:10:46,070 --> 00:10:48,010 Just be direct and honest. 502 00:10:48,210 --> 00:10:49,870 Okay. 503 00:10:48,210 --> 00:10:49,870 Okay? Mmm. 504 00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:53,950 It's the entire 505 00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:53,950 Sanitation Department, 506 00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:53,950 from Muncie. Ugh! 507 00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:56,980 Would you like 508 00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:56,980 any wine to start? 509 00:10:57,350 --> 00:10:59,980 Yes. And I'm going to be 510 00:10:57,350 --> 00:10:59,980 direct and honest with you. 511 00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:01,350 I would like 512 00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:01,350 a glass of red wine, 513 00:11:01,420 --> 00:11:02,650 and I'll take 514 00:11:01,420 --> 00:11:02,650 the cheapest one you have 515 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,120 because I can't 516 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,120 tell the difference. 517 00:11:04,260 --> 00:11:05,850 I'll have the same. 518 00:11:04,260 --> 00:11:05,850 Great. 519 00:11:05,930 --> 00:11:06,950 Okay. 520 00:11:07,030 --> 00:11:08,460 Here's the deal. 521 00:11:07,030 --> 00:11:08,460 Okay. 522 00:11:09,230 --> 00:11:11,130 I really, really like you. 523 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,500 I like you, too. 524 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,500 And I think I know 525 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,500 what you're going to say. 526 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:15,430 I highly doubt that. 527 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,060 I think I do. 528 00:11:17,340 --> 00:11:18,400 Oh, I don't. 529 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:20,770 And I got you something. 530 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,330 No. What is this? 531 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,480 Is this jewelry? 532 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,480 It's not. Just open it. 533 00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:25,670 No. 534 00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:25,670 Great. 535 00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:28,510 I need to go 536 00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:28,510 to another place. 537 00:11:28,580 --> 00:11:30,810 I'm going to go 538 00:11:28,580 --> 00:11:30,810 to the bathroom. 539 00:11:28,580 --> 00:11:30,810 The whiz palace, 540 00:11:31,050 --> 00:11:32,520 as we like 541 00:11:31,050 --> 00:11:32,520 to call it here. 542 00:11:32,590 --> 00:11:35,790 And I'm going to be back, 543 00:11:32,590 --> 00:11:35,790 and I'm not going to split. 544 00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:38,690 I'm here for you. 545 00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:38,690 Because we need to 546 00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:38,690 talk about stuff. 547 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,490 Okay? 548 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,490 All right. 549 00:11:42,060 --> 00:11:43,290 What... 550 00:11:46,530 --> 00:11:47,870 No. 551 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:50,560 Ron. 552 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:51,940 What are you doing here? 553 00:11:52,870 --> 00:11:54,370 Running away 554 00:11:52,870 --> 00:11:54,370 from my problems. 555 00:11:55,510 --> 00:11:56,570 Come on in. 556 00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:06,480 Okay. So, here's 557 00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:06,480 what's going on. 558 00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:06,480 I didn't ask. 559 00:12:06,550 --> 00:12:07,820 On Friday, 560 00:12:06,550 --> 00:12:07,820 I'm supposed to announce 561 00:12:07,890 --> 00:12:09,120 that I'm running 562 00:12:07,890 --> 00:12:09,120 for City Council. 563 00:12:09,190 --> 00:12:10,490 And I haven't 564 00:12:09,190 --> 00:12:10,490 told Ben yet. 565 00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:12,790 I know I said 566 00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:12,790 that we broke up, 567 00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:12,790 but we couldn't. 568 00:12:12,860 --> 00:12:14,830 We're still dating. 569 00:12:12,860 --> 00:12:14,830 But now, I have to 570 00:12:12,860 --> 00:12:14,830 break up with him for real. 571 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:16,090 But I don't want 572 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:16,090 to break up with him 573 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:17,660 because he's so cute 574 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:17,660 and he's so nice... 575 00:12:17,730 --> 00:12:20,930 If you're going to stay here, 576 00:12:17,730 --> 00:12:20,930 there are three rules 577 00:12:17,730 --> 00:12:20,930 you need to follow. 578 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,030 One, no talk 579 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,030 about Tammy One. 580 00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:24,770 Two, no talk about Ben. 581 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,360 Three, no talk. 582 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:27,740 I didn't even 583 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:27,740 ask you last night. 584 00:12:27,810 --> 00:12:29,180 What is going on 585 00:12:27,810 --> 00:12:29,180 with Tammy One? 586 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,980 You just violated 587 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,980 rules number one and three. 588 00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:34,180 You lose your 589 00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:34,180 coffee privileges. 590 00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:34,180 Oh. 591 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:39,010 You choose, Knope. 592 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:39,010 Hunting, fishing 593 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:39,010 or drinking? 594 00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:42,650 I'd really love to 595 00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:42,650 shoot a gun right now. 596 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:44,390 Fishing it is. 597 00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:47,060 And so, 598 00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:47,060 effective immediately, 599 00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:51,530 all male employees must 600 00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:51,530 stop sending explicit photos 601 00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:51,530 to Ms. Perkins. 602 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:55,040 If I may, what if based 603 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:55,040 on empirical evidence, 604 00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:58,840 I truly believe there 605 00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:58,840 is a grave and immediate 606 00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:58,840 medical emergency? 607 00:12:59,210 --> 00:13:01,970 Were that the case, 608 00:12:59,210 --> 00:13:01,970 could I then 609 00:12:59,210 --> 00:13:01,970 show you my dong? 610 00:13:03,140 --> 00:13:04,130 No. 611 00:13:04,210 --> 00:13:06,040 That would be harassment. 612 00:13:04,210 --> 00:13:06,040 Fair enough. 613 00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:07,840 Now, completely 614 00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:07,840 different scenario. 615 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:10,010 Let's say, 616 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:10,010 I've been watching 617 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,380 a lot of women's golf 618 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,380 and I've had some wine. 619 00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:13,650 How about this? 620 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,950 I'm going to get 621 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,950 a male doctor to come in 622 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,950 and do some screenings. 623 00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:19,790 Perfect. Just as a backup, 624 00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:19,790 I'm sending you some photos. 625 00:13:19,860 --> 00:13:21,660 That will not be necessary. 626 00:13:19,860 --> 00:13:21,660 That's me. 627 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:25,290 Brand new day, 628 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:25,290 brand new merch. 629 00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:28,540 I got you guys some awesome 630 00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:28,540 Entertainment 720 stuff. 631 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,370 Donna, this is for you. 632 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,930 Entertainment 720 umbrella. 633 00:13:33,010 --> 00:13:34,980 Entertainment 720 flyswatters. 634 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,640 Rubik's Cube 635 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,640 with my face on it. 636 00:13:36,780 --> 00:13:37,770 Breath mints. 637 00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:39,600 Fireplace bellows. 638 00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,510 And drum roll, please. 639 00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:44,070 Drum roll 640 00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:44,070 sound effect key chain. 641 00:13:44,750 --> 00:13:47,450 Shouldn't you be working 642 00:13:44,750 --> 00:13:47,450 at your new company, Tom? 643 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,960 I am working, April. 644 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,960 I'm making high-level 645 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,960 network contacts. 646 00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,350 You think 647 00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,350 Bethenny Frankel sits 648 00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,350 behind a desk all day? 649 00:13:53,430 --> 00:13:55,520 She makes $100 million a year. 650 00:13:53,430 --> 00:13:55,520 How much do you make a year? 651 00:13:56,430 --> 00:13:57,690 $101 million. 652 00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,460 I, for one, 653 00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,460 am happy to see Tom. 654 00:13:59,570 --> 00:14:03,030 Thanks, Jerry. 655 00:13:59,570 --> 00:14:03,030 Here. Have an umbrella 656 00:13:59,570 --> 00:14:03,030 and some breath strips. 657 00:14:03,140 --> 00:14:04,260 Whoa! 658 00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:06,130 All right, 659 00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:06,130 enough chit-chat, 660 00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:06,130 everyone. 661 00:14:06,210 --> 00:14:08,110 Please get back to work. 662 00:14:06,210 --> 00:14:08,110 You're not our boss. 663 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,040 What did you 664 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,040 just say to me? 665 00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:11,240 Ma'am. 666 00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:14,310 So, did you get a chance 667 00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:14,310 to think about my offer? 668 00:14:14,380 --> 00:14:16,820 Yeah. I've been 669 00:14:14,380 --> 00:14:16,820 thinking a lot 670 00:14:14,380 --> 00:14:16,820 about what you said. 671 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:19,650 I want to do my dreams, 672 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:19,650 but I just don't think 673 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:19,650 my dream is working 674 00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:21,750 for a company that 675 00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:21,750 puts logos on stuff. 676 00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:25,120 That's not what 677 00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:25,120 my company does. 678 00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:25,120 Although, maybe we'll start. 679 00:14:25,190 --> 00:14:26,960 Hey. What you think? 680 00:14:27,030 --> 00:14:29,550 Donna, that looks great. 681 00:14:29,630 --> 00:14:31,030 I could do 682 00:14:29,630 --> 00:14:31,030 without this one. 683 00:14:32,970 --> 00:14:35,440 So, running for office. 684 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,340 Now, I'm going to 685 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,340 have to find 686 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,340 a replacement for you. 687 00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:39,070 Hah! I might not win. 688 00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:41,410 You'll win. 689 00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:41,410 I might not run. 690 00:14:41,540 --> 00:14:42,530 You should. 691 00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,640 What's our plan here, Knope? 692 00:14:46,710 --> 00:14:52,050 I figure we build a fire, 693 00:14:46,710 --> 00:14:52,050 roast the fish we shot, 694 00:14:46,710 --> 00:14:52,050 and make s'mores. 695 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,210 I don't have 696 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,210 the material 697 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,210 for s'mores. 698 00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:57,730 I do. I always carry 699 00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:57,730 emergency s'more rations 700 00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:57,730 in my car. 701 00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:02,060 Given your hunting abilities 702 00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:02,060 and my chocolate supply, 703 00:15:02,130 --> 00:15:06,570 I figure we could 704 00:15:02,130 --> 00:15:06,570 stay up here for 705 00:15:02,130 --> 00:15:06,570 two, three years? 706 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:13,930 You know, 707 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:13,930 when I was 12, 708 00:15:14,010 --> 00:15:17,140 my brother shot me 709 00:15:14,010 --> 00:15:17,140 in the pinky toe 710 00:15:14,010 --> 00:15:17,140 with a nail gun. 711 00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:21,310 Granted, 712 00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:21,310 it was a hilarious prank, 713 00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:21,310 and we all had a good laugh. 714 00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:22,440 That's awful. 715 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,010 But I avoided 716 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,010 going to the doctor. 717 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,990 I hate paperwork. 718 00:15:26,290 --> 00:15:29,050 After a few weeks, 719 00:15:26,290 --> 00:15:29,050 the toe just 720 00:15:26,290 --> 00:15:29,050 kind of fell off. 721 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,850 You only have nine toes? 722 00:15:31,190 --> 00:15:33,350 I have the toes I have. 723 00:15:33,430 --> 00:15:35,230 Let's just 724 00:15:33,430 --> 00:15:35,230 leave it at that. 725 00:15:35,460 --> 00:15:38,660 The point is, 726 00:15:35,460 --> 00:15:38,660 the doctor said if 727 00:15:35,460 --> 00:15:38,660 I had come in right away, 728 00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,220 they might have 729 00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,220 saved the toe. 730 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,230 You can't run away 731 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,230 from your problems. 732 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,940 Especially if you 733 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,940 only have nine toes. 734 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,730 Sorry. 735 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,730 That was uncalled for. 736 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:54,780 I'm Ron Swanson, 737 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:54,780 and you're Leslie...Knope. 738 00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:58,180 You with me? 739 00:16:04,660 --> 00:16:05,960 What is your dream? 740 00:16:06,030 --> 00:16:08,500 It's to be 741 00:16:06,030 --> 00:16:08,500 the biggest rock star 742 00:16:06,030 --> 00:16:08,500 on the planet, obviously. 743 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,530 But that could take 744 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,530 another three to five years. 745 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,530 Don't get me wrong. 746 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,870 Shoe shining has been 747 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,870 a pretty wild ride, 748 00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:18,330 but is it possible 749 00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:18,330 there's something 750 00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:18,330 more out there for me? 751 00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:20,380 Andy, there's tons 752 00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:20,380 of stuff you can do. 753 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:22,640 I'll help you 754 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:22,640 figure it out. 755 00:16:22,710 --> 00:16:23,700 Really? 756 00:16:23,780 --> 00:16:27,720 Yes. One year from now, 757 00:16:23,780 --> 00:16:27,720 you, Andy Dwyer, 758 00:16:27,780 --> 00:16:29,550 will no longer 759 00:16:27,780 --> 00:16:29,550 be a shoe-shinist. 760 00:16:32,550 --> 00:16:34,950 Kyle, beat it. 761 00:16:32,550 --> 00:16:34,950 I'm going to make out 762 00:16:32,550 --> 00:16:34,950 with my wife now. 763 00:16:35,890 --> 00:16:37,950 But you've only done 764 00:16:35,890 --> 00:16:37,950 half of one of my shoes. 765 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:39,650 Here. 766 00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:43,620 Now, I haven't 767 00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:43,620 done anything. 768 00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:43,620 Scram, kid. 769 00:16:47,970 --> 00:16:49,060 Hello. 770 00:16:49,140 --> 00:16:50,760 Hey, Ron. Welcome... 771 00:16:49,140 --> 00:16:50,760 Stop. 772 00:16:51,270 --> 00:16:52,870 First order of business. 773 00:16:52,940 --> 00:16:55,310 I promised Leslie 774 00:16:52,940 --> 00:16:55,310 I'd hire her 775 00:16:52,940 --> 00:16:55,310 a new assistant, 776 00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:58,350 so the department doesn't 777 00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:58,350 completely shut down 778 00:16:58,410 --> 00:16:59,640 while she runs for office. 779 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:01,840 You're running for office? 780 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:03,380 Yeah. City Council. 781 00:17:03,450 --> 00:17:05,580 Leslie, that is great. 782 00:17:03,450 --> 00:17:05,580 Thank you. 783 00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:08,880 Will you pledge right now 784 00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:08,880 not to raise taxes? 785 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:11,490 I think that's premature. 786 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,960 No pledge, no vote. 787 00:17:14,060 --> 00:17:15,890 The point is, 788 00:17:14,060 --> 00:17:15,890 she needs an assistant. 789 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,930 Start asking around. 790 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,930 Hire Andy. 791 00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:20,070 Andy can do it. 792 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,160 Sure. Yeah. 793 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,030 Done. Andy, you are 794 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,030 now Leslie's assistant. 795 00:17:26,770 --> 00:17:27,940 Honey. 796 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,680 Oh. 797 00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:34,940 Leslie, I'm going to 798 00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:34,940 work my ass off for you. 799 00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:34,940 I'll do anything you ask me. 800 00:17:35,020 --> 00:17:36,990 I will prove myself. 801 00:17:35,020 --> 00:17:36,990 You don't even 802 00:17:35,020 --> 00:17:36,990 have to pay me. 803 00:17:37,050 --> 00:17:38,210 No. Honey. No. 804 00:17:37,050 --> 00:17:38,210 I will... 805 00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:41,620 Tomorrow, there will be 806 00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:41,620 a 300-page 807 00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:41,620 orientation booklet, 808 00:17:41,690 --> 00:17:45,060 as well as a dozen 809 00:17:41,690 --> 00:17:45,060 homemade cookies 810 00:17:41,690 --> 00:17:45,060 in the shape of your face. 811 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,090 But today... 812 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,160 There is something else 813 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,160 I have to do. 814 00:17:53,070 --> 00:17:57,030 If any of you need 815 00:17:53,070 --> 00:17:57,030 anything at all, too bad. 816 00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,140 Deal with your 817 00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,140 problems yourselves, 818 00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,140 like adults. 819 00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:02,340 I'll be in my office, 820 00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:02,340 waiting for Tammy One. 821 00:18:02,410 --> 00:18:03,400 You want me to find her? 822 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,850 There's no need. 823 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,850 She'll find me. 824 00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:09,780 She has the tracking ability 825 00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:09,780 and body odor of a bloodhound. 826 00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:17,120 Okay. So, now, 827 00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:17,120 you're sure that everything 828 00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:17,120 is okay, down there. 829 00:18:17,190 --> 00:18:18,280 You're perfectly healthy. 830 00:18:20,230 --> 00:18:23,320 That man has 831 00:18:20,230 --> 00:18:23,320 the largest penis 832 00:18:20,230 --> 00:18:23,320 I have ever seen. 833 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,770 I actually don't even 834 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,770 know if he has mumps. 835 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,770 I forgot to look. 836 00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:32,360 I was distracted, 837 00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:32,360 by the largest penis 838 00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:32,360 I have ever seen. 839 00:18:35,310 --> 00:18:37,240 I know I've been acting 840 00:18:35,310 --> 00:18:37,240 really weird lately. 841 00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:39,800 And, I really like you. 842 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:41,250 What I'm about to say 843 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:41,250 is going to contradict 844 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:42,580 the idea that 845 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:42,580 I really like you, 846 00:18:42,650 --> 00:18:44,380 but that won't change... 847 00:18:42,650 --> 00:18:44,380 I know. 848 00:18:42,650 --> 00:18:44,380 So, just open the box. 849 00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:45,510 Please stop 850 00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:45,510 bringing out 851 00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:45,510 the box. 852 00:18:45,590 --> 00:18:46,580 Okay? 853 00:18:45,590 --> 00:18:46,580 Leslie... 854 00:18:46,650 --> 00:18:48,560 You're being really nice. 855 00:18:46,650 --> 00:18:48,560 And what I'm about to say 856 00:18:48,620 --> 00:18:49,650 is going to 857 00:18:48,620 --> 00:18:49,650 make you hate me. 858 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,090 Okay. Then, I'll just 859 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,090 open the box for you. 860 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,000 Wow. 861 00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,530 You knew? 862 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,630 I figured it out 863 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,630 a while ago. 864 00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:04,200 I'm sorry. 865 00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:04,200 I should have told you 866 00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:04,200 I knew, but I just... 867 00:19:04,270 --> 00:19:06,540 I wanted this to last 868 00:19:04,270 --> 00:19:06,540 as long as possible. 869 00:19:09,140 --> 00:19:10,300 We have to break up. 870 00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:12,740 Why? 871 00:19:12,810 --> 00:19:14,780 Why do we 872 00:19:12,810 --> 00:19:14,780 have to break up? 873 00:19:14,850 --> 00:19:17,250 Leslie, everything 874 00:19:14,850 --> 00:19:17,250 you've accomplished, 875 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,220 you have earned and 876 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,220 you have worked for. 877 00:19:19,290 --> 00:19:21,950 I don't want anyone 878 00:19:19,290 --> 00:19:21,950 to think that you got 879 00:19:19,290 --> 00:19:21,950 where you are today 880 00:19:22,020 --> 00:19:24,390 by sleeping 881 00:19:22,020 --> 00:19:24,390 with your boss. 882 00:19:25,190 --> 00:19:26,790 But I really like 883 00:19:25,190 --> 00:19:26,790 sleeping with my boss. 884 00:19:26,890 --> 00:19:28,590 Yeah. Yeah. 885 00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:31,730 Okay, look. 886 00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:31,730 I'm going to make this 887 00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:31,730 really easy for you. 888 00:19:33,170 --> 00:19:34,760 It's not you, it's me. 889 00:19:35,370 --> 00:19:36,740 I'm not ready 890 00:19:35,370 --> 00:19:36,740 for a commitment. 891 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,860 I just don't 892 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,860 like you anymore. 893 00:19:38,940 --> 00:19:41,200 I know it's hard 894 00:19:38,940 --> 00:19:41,200 to hear that, but... 895 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,610 You're boring. 896 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,610 And, frankly, 897 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,610 you disgust me. 898 00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:45,140 Ugh! 899 00:19:48,050 --> 00:19:49,380 How did you 900 00:19:48,050 --> 00:19:49,380 figure it out? 901 00:19:49,450 --> 00:19:52,320 Leslie, there was a dude 902 00:19:49,450 --> 00:19:52,320 in the ladies' yacht club. 903 00:19:52,790 --> 00:19:54,650 Yeah, 904 00:19:52,790 --> 00:19:54,650 but I covered that 905 00:19:52,790 --> 00:19:54,650 pretty well. 906 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,450 Also, you've been making 907 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,450 campaign speeches 908 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,450 in your sleep. 909 00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:03,990 Granted, you always do that, 910 00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:03,990 but they got really 911 00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:03,990 specific and moving. 912 00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:05,900 Did I have 913 00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:05,900 a good opening line? 914 00:20:06,930 --> 00:20:09,340 It was simple, 915 00:20:06,930 --> 00:20:09,340 but I liked it. 916 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,330 Friends, 917 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,330 honored guests, 918 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,330 Pawneeans. 919 00:20:13,910 --> 00:20:17,240 I am Leslie Knope, 920 00:20:13,910 --> 00:20:17,240 and I am running 921 00:20:13,910 --> 00:20:17,240 for City Council. 922 00:20:32,660 --> 00:20:33,650 Hello, Tammy. 923 00:20:34,060 --> 00:20:35,260 Ronald. 924 00:20:36,630 --> 00:20:38,620 That's enough small talk. 925 00:20:36,630 --> 00:20:38,620 What do you want? 926 00:20:38,930 --> 00:20:41,430 You remember what I do 927 00:20:38,930 --> 00:20:41,430 for a living, I trust. 928 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,290 Yes. You ruin 929 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,290 people's lives. 930 00:20:46,670 --> 00:20:48,340 You're being audited, Ronald. 931 00:20:49,410 --> 00:20:50,430 I don't care. 932 00:20:50,610 --> 00:20:52,410 Then why is your 933 00:20:50,610 --> 00:20:52,410 mustache trembling? 934 00:20:53,510 --> 00:20:55,240 I'm here as a friend. 935 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:56,580 Call it nostalgia. 936 00:20:56,850 --> 00:21:01,310 Or, perhaps, guilt for 937 00:20:56,850 --> 00:21:01,310 all the times I tried to 938 00:20:56,850 --> 00:21:01,310 smother you in your sleep. 939 00:21:01,690 --> 00:21:03,020 I don't need your help. 940 00:21:03,090 --> 00:21:04,850 Wrong. You do. 941 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,520 As you're 942 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,520 so fond of saying, 943 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,520 it's a free country. 944 00:21:07,730 --> 00:21:08,720 Good luck. 945 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,890 I hope you don't go to jail. 946 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,270 Sit up straight. 947 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,270 You're not doing 948 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,270 your breasts any favors. 949 00:21:19,140 --> 00:21:20,130 Thank you. 950 00:21:21,710 --> 00:21:24,680 Honey, your breasts 951 00:21:21,710 --> 00:21:24,680 look amazing. 50556

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