Original subtitles

[engine starting]

-Fill 'er up.

And remove everything from under the hood.

-Right away, sir.

-Hey!

Hey Steve, you gonna leave grease

like this when we get our own place, huh?

Come on!

THEME SONG: We never thought of finding

a place where we belong.

Don't have to stand alone.

We'll never let you fall.

Don't need permission to decide what you believe.

You gotta learn something when we meet you after school.

I say jump down on Jump Street.

I say jump down on Jump Street.

Your friends will be there when your back is to the wall.

You'll find you need us, 'cause there's no one else to call.

When it was hopeless, a decision's what you need.

You better be ready, 'cause you're running out of time.

I say jump.

21 Jump Street.

[airplanes]

-[POLISH ACCENT] Warsaw.

My home uh, is in Warsaw.

-[POLISH ACCENT] Nadia Messick is an honor student

and involved in athletic activities.

She looks forward to her four week stay

with her host American family.

-What was the topic of the essay that brought you here?

-It was a comparison of the political systems.

The United States and the Soviet satellite government

of Poland--

-The government of Poland is most pleased

that this academic visitation program can finally take place.

[speaking polish]

-Look at her.

This is like, the total bummer of all time.

-Being selected the host family is quite an honor, Jennifer.

Besides, this could be a lot of fun.

-Girls that win contests in school are not fun.

Remember Lori Hoberman?

Won the state spelling bee?

Total dork city.

-Quiet, dear.

We're doing this for America.

-I think I'll defect.

-Mr. Drabinsky, how normal a teenage life can Nadia

have with a representative like you following her around?

-I assure you gentlemen, I have no intention

of returning to high school.

And I might add, that contrary to the propaganda disseminated

by your government, we do not follow around visitors

to the United States.

Nadia Messick is here for the total American experience.

Her life will be as normal as that

of the student sitting next to her in class.

JUDY: Say what?

Come on, Jenk.

That's a babysitting assignment.

-They want to give this girl a taste

of normal American teenage life.

-So I gotta follow her around?

Why us?

JENKO: Because the Metro PD is cooperating

with the State Department.

And that's why us.

-You see, the president of the United States

cooperates with the president of Poland.

State Department cooperates with the president

of the United States.

The governor, he cooperates with the State Department.

Which brings us down to the mayor and the chief of police.

Both very cooperative people.

Now they put it on Jenko's shoulders

and he puts it on yours.

Judy Hoffs, AKA Miss Cooperative.

-And why do I feel like the dog who

gets kicked in this scenario?

-[imitating yapping dog]

-Look, just consider it a favor to the president of Poland.

Anyway, all you have to do is keep an eye on her

and try to ease her into the first few days.

You know, it might even be fun.

-OK, OK.

I'll do it.

In the name of world peace.

-Now I believe we also have some new business

in the nature of stolen cars.

-[farting noise]

-Oh gee, Jenk.

Uh, we getting all the big ones.

-Stolen cars are a very big business these days.

Do you ever think about how much money the insurance companies

shell out each year in claims?

TOM: They're the ones who should be going to jail.

You guys have any idea how much I pay to insure the Mustang,

huh?

Three months ago, the thing was parked.

Parked!

Some uninsured doofus hits me and they raise my rates.

-Maybe you should have had uninsured doofus protection.

-Won't do any good if you're under 25.

I mean, do you think they care that I have a perfect driving

record?

Huh?

Hmm?

No!

I mean, do you think that they care that I'm a law enforcement

officer, huh?

Huh?

No!

They just keep raising the rates.

JENKO: Well now, there then, you seem quite passionate

about that, bub.

-Downright moral outrage, I'd call it.

JENKO: So now's your chance to do something about it, amigo.

Here, look at this.

It was found stripped a few days ago.

And when Grand Theft found it, they also

found a screwdriver that had fallen down into the frame

with the initials NHS engraved on it.

-Northside High School.

JENKO: And that was the third car

that's been stripped in that vicinity within the last 30

days.

So the guys in the suits downtown, they think maybe

there's some possibility of a connection

with the kids in the shop program.

-Well, they got a huge shop over there.

-Huge shop?

There's about eight million kids at that school.

-Yeah well, there's eight million

and one now, because your buddy Hanson's

about to join the shop class.

-Every day I got a new face.

Advanced class, huh?

-Yeah.

-Let me ask you, Mr. McClain, I got an automatic Camaro

I want to put a four speed into.

I got a brand new bell housing for it.

You think you can get it done by tomorrow afternoon?

-Only if you can get me a new drive shaft by tomorrow

morning, 'cause I think the shaft that's

in there's gonna be about six inches too long.

-All right, good.

Get you started in the A group, see if you can keep up.

Yo!

Listen up!

[students groan]

SAL: Get it together!

Come on!

[students grumbling]

-Hey, wise guys.

You're gonna thank me someday for what I'm about to tell you.

Opportunity.

There are work ants and there are queen bees.

You guys are work ants.

I mean, let's face it.

Call it genetics, call it attrition,

you guys ain't never going to be lunching on Wall Street.

You see what I'm saying?

However, and this is a big however, you guys got something

most people don't have.

Opportunity.

You could come out here being the best mechanics in town.

A banker?

You think it's a big deal to make some guy a car loan?

Forget about it!

A brain surgeon?

Think that he has to have good hands?

Let him try and change the generator

on a '67 Impala in the rain.

So it's up to you guys.

You are the best.

The future is opportunity, and the opportunity is yours.

End of lecture.

-All right.

-That was very inspiring.

-Don't brown nose me, kid.

-Hey, Delano!

-What?

What'd I do now?

-Get over here.

This here's McClain.

He'll be in your project group.

-Whatever you say, coach.

-And don't forget, grades tomorrow, fuel injection.

Then we move into the final project.

That's 50% of your grade.

-So we'll be ready.

-Watch his buddy Mark the Mechanic.

He's the best in the place.

And learn my friend, learn.

-Opportunity.

-Hey.

-Hey, Delano!

You forgetting something?

All right.

-What's that guy's deal?

-The man is a Zen master of garage art philosophy.

Stevie Delano.

-Tom McClain.

-How you doing?

-Aah!

Trash this thing, man.

How can anyone figure out what's going on

inside these computers?

-Mark "The Mechanic" Dorian.

He's the legend of Northside High.

-That's the fuel management computer.

It controls the injection system--

-No, we know what it does, pal.

The problem is, no one outside the factory

knows how to reprogram these things.

STEVIE: Think Landers is testing us?

MARK: Nah.

It's just a lemon.

-You know, I got a friend of mine

who can get me one of these for a great price.

-Yeah well, they're pretty hard to come by.

I mean, even the supply dealers can't get them.

-Yeah, but I got more direct sources.

-Oh yeah?

How much?

-Free?

--[laughs] But that would mean breaking the law.

-Do it.

We all like to contribute around here.

-Done.

But you know something?

You guys are gonna have to get with it.

You're analog men in a digital world.

-Then in 1970, there were strikes and riots

by the working class.

-And again in 1980, I believe.

-That is correct, Mr. Ramsey.

-What about food supplies?

Clothing?

Don't you have to stand in line for many goods commonly

available in abundance in this country?

-If you are referring to the decadent American products.

I read that that is why so many of your generation

rebelled in the '60s.

You were bored with your materialism.

-Some rebelled.

But it's, it's different in Poland.

There you rebelled from a lack of these things.

-I don't think that we are disagreeing, Mr. Ramsey.

You must understand that the feelings in Poland

are basically pro-American.

MR. RAMSEY: Really?

Oh, come on.

-Poland may be the only pro-American country

left in Europe.

MR. RAMSEY: Well, that's quite a statement.

NADIA: I'm talking about the feelings of the people.

-Hmm.

The people.

Of course, in this country, the ability to change laws

is in the hands of the people.

If 2/3 of their representatives in Congress agree,

then the law is changed.

-Actually Mr. Ramsey, only a simple majority

is required to pass a bill into a law.

A 2/3 vote is needed to override a presidential veto.

-You're absolutely right.

-So that was really neat the way you handled Mr. Ramsey.

-Yeah, the man is something of a jingoist.

-A what?

Say guys, you want to hit the mall or something?

-Uh yeah, that's a good idea.

Why don't you uh, hit the mall with your new friend? [giggles]

-Come on, Nadia.

Let's go check out the abundance of American wealth.

Come on!

NADIA: Walking shoe, running shoe, tennis shoe.

The bourgeois has been brainwashed

into thinking it needs a different shoe

for every occasion.

-That's nothing.

If you're Cybill Shepherd, you need a formal pair.

-Cybill what?

[beeping]

-Mmm, now this is so good!

I've never tasted ice cream like this before.

-Come on, you must have Bergen-Glaas in Europe!

-Why?

It comes from Brooklyn.

ELECTRONIC VOICE: Thank you for banking with us.

[beep]

-Tell me about this.

-Oh, it's the bank.

You just throw in your card and you get cash from your account.

-I think I am going to like it here.

-Mm, it's so hot.

-Hello, ladies!

Can I buy you a drink?

-No, thanks.

Anyway--

-That is a wonderful jacket you're wearing.

-Thanks.

Say, you're from out of town.

I could tell.

-[snorts]

-So uh, you want to hang out or what?

-Yeah.

Or what sounds very good.

-Great.

Let's get out of here.

-Thank you for bringing me here, Judy.

I had a wonderful time.

And I'll see you tomorrow in school, yes?

-Uh, yeah.

Yeah, sure.

-OK.

-Wait til you see my wheels.

-All right, man.

This is it, yeah.

This is the one, number 456.

You got it?

-Hey, I've done this a couple times before, OK Stevie?

Vince!

-Look, we really need this one, man.

Don't blow it, Mario.

-Hey, just relax, OK?

Hey listen, I need some more warm bodies.

I would have brought more product round here

but I need some drivers.

So uh, recruit some of your little friends for me,

will you?

-My little friends don't have the same code of honor as you

and me, Mario.

MARIO: Hey, there's nothing illegal

about driving cars to an auction, Stevie.

STEVIE: Oh no, not much!

What about stopping the clock or pausing the odometer rock back?

-That's none of the driver's concern.

AUCTIONEER: Sold to [inaudible].

The lot number 456, gentlemen.

Mutual Fidelity, the consignor.

Who'll give me $500?

-$500.

-Thank you!

Now $600. [auction patter] I'm at $500.

Bid $600.

-$600.

AUCTIONEER: $600.

Now $700.

[auction patter]

-$700.

AUCTIONEER: Now $800.

-$750.

AUCTIONEER: $750.

-I think you guys are being jerked around here.

$800.

AUCTIONEER: $800.

Now half.

-$1,000.

AUCTIONEER: Now I got $1,000 bid, gentlemen.

-It's a piece of junk!

-$1,000 on that piece of junk.

Now $1,000.

$1,000 bid, now--

-$1,100.

-$1,100.

Now $1,200.

[auction patter]

-Don't lose it, don't lose it.

-$1,300.

AUCTIONEER: $1,300, now $1,400.

-$1,350.

AUCTIONEER: 13 and a half.

-$1,400.

AUCTIONEER: Now $1,400.

Now half. [auction patter] $1,400 on bid.

Come on, gentlemen. $1,400, 14 half.

-I'll give you $50 not to say another word.

-$1,450.

AUCTIONEER: Now $1,500.

-$1,500.

-$1,500 bid.

Now 15 half.

-$100.

-My lips are sealed.

-It was a pleasure doing business with you.

AUCTIONEER: All done.

$1,500 once, $1,500 twice.

Sold for $1,500.

Quality used cars.

And Mario, that really is a used car.

-[laughing] All right.

-Well done, gentlemen.

-Mario, here's $900.

-Hey, come on, come on!

-What?

It would have a It took a yard to shut that guy up!

-You really think that guy was a shill, man?

-Well, maybe he noticed a couple of punks

coming in here every couple of weeks

bidding on useless frames, huh?

-You know, I hate this place.

It's so crooked!

-Hey, who's doing who a favor here?

All right, I'll tell you, this is

the way we're gonna play this one.

After you two geniuses put that thing back together,

I'll take 20% of the sale price.

-20%?

-Free enterprise, dudes.

[whirring]

-Hey, watch it, will ya?

[whirring]

MARK: No, no, no, no.

Vinny, Vinny, there is a right way

and there is a wrong way to hook up a wiring harness, all right?

-What's with him?

-Hey, this rebuild's a big part of the midterm grade, you know.

-Man, he takes it so seriously.

-He's in training for when we have our own place.

-Oh yeah?

-Yeah.

We're going into business together.

I'm the front man.

He's the master mechanic.

We even got a place scoped out.

-Yeah?

You know it takes a lot of dough to open a garage.

-You're telling me.

So what happened to your friend with the black box?

-He's on his way.

-Hey, hot shot.

Get under the carriage so you can put the tie

rods on without bending them.

-Yes, sir.

-You forgot your lunch.

-It's not bad.

-You want anything with wheels still attached,

you let me know.

-Midnight Mike, fastest man on the North Side.

--[scoffs] So you think you're fast, huh?

-$100 standing bet to any and all comers.

-Yeah well, uh, we just might have to take you up on that.

-$200 on all domestics.

-Ah!

Man after my own heart.

-Come on, let's put this thing in before Landers pulls a spot

check.

-Come here a sec.

Doug?

-Hmm?

-You see that car there that we're rebuilding?

-This one right here?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Well, I think it's the same one that was heisted last week.

-What?

They're rebuilding it right here in the middle of class?

-That's pretty gutsy, huh?

-Are you sure it's the same one?

-No.

But it's a blue Mercury Sable.

-Well, we can't just nail them on a hunch.

-No kidding.

You got the vehicle ID number on the last car that was stolen?

-Not on me.

--[sighs] Well, I got the one on this one.

You ready?

-No.

-G86795337256.

You got it?

-Uh, give it to me again.

I'm not Kreskin, man.

-Ugh!

G86-

DOUG: G86--

TOM: 795--

DOUG: 795.

TOM: 337256.

DOUG: 337256.

-Did you get that?

-G86--

-Hey!

Who the heck are you?

-I'm his buddy that was dropping off his lunch.

-Well, drop it off at the cafeteria.

No unauthorized personnel on the deck.

-Yes, sir.

G, G--

-No security around here.

Too many darn students.

-Hey coach, being new here and all, I was wondering.

I mean, we got this frame, we got all these parts.

Where do they come from?

What do we do with the cars after we rebuild them?

-Who the heck are you, the FBI?

-[laughs] I was just wondering.

-I got a secret benefactor, OK?

It's none of your darn business, McClain.

Your business is make sure it runs when it gets done.

You got that?

[engine starting]

-She must have been like, at the library all night.

'Cause she was nowhere when I got up this morning.

[motorcycle engine]

-Maybe she wasn't so bad after all.

-Are you kidding me?

Drag city.

Nadia?

NADIA: Uh, we just don't have the commercial products

to do different hairstyles.

That is all.

Uh, it is no big deal.

-Eh, would you be allowed to dress like that at home?

-Oh yeah.

But I'd have a heck of a time finding these pantyhose.

[laughter]

-Well, I'm glad to see a gradual acceptance

of our native customs.

Uh, the freedom must be a welcome relief.

-That is somewhat true.

In my country, there are so many rules.

It is like living forever with your parents.

-Ew, can you imagine?

-Many people literally live their lives with their parents.

When you grow up, you get your own room, not your own house.

[laughter]

-Geez, you couldn't like, turn up the stereo forever.

-[laughs]

NADIA: You wouldn't want to turn it up,

considering that the government censors all the lyrics.

-Well Nadia, I'm just glad you've

been given this little chance to pursue the American dream.

DOUG: Open, says me.

T minus three, two, one, ignition.

[engine starting]

-The new king.

-Eh, not bad.

-Not bad?

He whipped your tail! [laughs]

-This place is gonna be a palace, man.

-And we are only gonna service Beemers, Mercedes, and Jags.

-And Porsches, of course!

-Oh, of course.

MARK: You know, speaking of which,

we still haven't gotten to tear down a Mercedes yet.

-Dude, I'm working on it.

-That's some dream you guys got.

STEVIE: Hey, this is no dream, man.

We're gonna make it happen.

Mark and I, we've been talking about this

since we were 12 years old.

MARK: Hey, tell him about the waiting room.

-Leather couches.

And no old magazines!

Only brand new magazines.

-And a big picture window so people

can watch us while we work on their cars.

-In the most spotless service bay in the city.

MARK: And white overalls with your name on the back.

You know, your name on the front just isn't any good.

All right, let's say you gotta call down

to your tire man who's working on a car.

Well, what are you looking at?

His back, right?

Well, that's where his name should be.

Like in uh, like in baseball.

-Makes sense to me.

-Takes a lot of dough.

-Yeah.

Well, you know, we got a few gigs going.

-Yeah, we got a location too, over on Grand.

It's in uh, um, what do you call it?

-Probate.

-Yeah, probate, right.

Anyway, the guy went under and now the court's got his garage.

We figure if we could get enough dough together by July 1st,

we could put together a winning bid.

-You guys interested in making some money?

-Sure.

What do we gotta do?

-Just some driving.

-Our friend Mario the Man owns this used car lot.

We drive for him on weekends.

We pick up cars and we drive them to an auction.

-Can't make much money doing that.

-Oh well, you know.

You make a few stops along the way.

Like at uh, Clocker Paul's.

-He makes old cars look new.

-Let me guess.

Tire paint, engine spray, you run the clock

back about 20,000 miles.

-Interested?

Yeah, you pick up some extra gas money, insurance money.

-Hey say, what are you guys paying for insurance?

-Oh yeah.

He pays a fortune.

Got in an accident.

-What?

-Insurance companies, man!

They're the biggest kooks in America.

-I agree 100%.

-What kind of business did you say you were in?

-Insurance.

-Is that a good business?

-Are you kidding me?

It's a license to deal.

Hey, I tell you what.

Send me your policy, I'll work up a comparison.

I save you 10%.

-I don't drive.

-You don't drive?

-No.

But I wish to learn.

You know, I have always wanted to own my own automobile.

-Yeah?

What kind would you like?

-Ooh, a sports car.

-Yeah?

You like sports cars?

NADIA: Mm hmm.

-Have you ever been in a Camaro?

-No.

I don't think so.

-I tell you what, Nadia.

How'd you like to learn to drive a sports car?

-Jenk man, I'm telling you, I think she's calming down.

At least she's through with that dude on the bike.

She's right here.

No, I'm not actually looking at her.

Hold on.

I hate it when you're right!

[engine revving]

-OK now-- oh!

[tires screeching]

[brakes squealing]

[horn honking]

-Ugh!

-Scalpel.

The other scalpel.

HARRY: '86 Mercury Sable, excellent condition.

Uh, $12,000 firm.

-That's 15.

-I still think Sal Landers, garage philosopher,

has something to do with this.

HARRY: Sure.

Like uh, where do they get the frame?

And how do they get to use the shop to rebuild them?

-And how do they disappear so fast?

We run these ads down, we will find the seller, who's probably

an adult connected to Stevie and Mark somehow.

-Hey, I got another one.

-Wonderful.

-Jenko, we got a major problem.

-What's that, Hoffs?

-I can't keep up with Nadia.

-Ah, come on.

You can't keep up with a 17 year-old tourist?

-Tourist?

Man, the Rolling Stones couldn't stay on tour with this girl.

Two nights ago, it was the rock and roll club.

I had to talk her out of leaving town with the drummer.

Last night, I had to yank her away

from two seedy looking dudes who were teaching her

how to shoplift records.

And now, now she disappears with some yuppie

who's decided she needs driving lessons.

-What was that girl's number again?

-So unless you want me to blow my cover

and badge this girl, Jenk, I'm gonna need some help.

-Maybe you should just hook her up

with a guy instead of a girl.

That's what she seems to be chasing.

-Hey, groovy idea.

-You know, I'm not much for volunteering.

But in this case--

-Sorry bud, but Harry's elected.

Harry, take this little lady out to the movies.

You know, nothing heavy.

Just a nice quiet date.

OK?

-Good choice, Jenko.

-Good.

If I can hook her up with you, at least

we can keep track of her.

-Why do you want to keep track of her?

Why not just let her run?

-Uh uh.

Hanson, this girl is gonna get in a lot of trouble out there.

This is a wild child.

-Well, being an immigrant, I'm a bit of an expert

on foreign affairs myself.

Now I know exactly how to handle her.

[beeping in movie]

[shooting in movie]

--[clears throat] It's a good movie, huh guys?

Guys?

Guys?

-Nadia.

What do you say we take a break here?

-Sure.

Are you hungry?

-Yeah.

Yeah, I'm real hungry.

-That's a good idea.

Why don't we hit the concession stand?

-I'll get it.

-Hoffs, she is amazing!

I mean, I'm forever in your debt!

-Hi.

-Hello.

-Can I buy you some popcorn?

-Mm, I have my own money.

Thank you.

-I like your accent.

Hungarian?

-Polish.

-You know, uh, Americans love foreign actresses.

-Yes, but I'm not an actress.

-Oh, but you could be.

-Cut the hustle, hmm?

-OK, OK.

I'm only an attorney.

But my firm does represent some film people.

-You're an attorney?

-Bruce Plesser.

At your service.

-Tell me, Bruce.

What kind of automobile do you drive?

-A Porsche, why?

-You know, I have always wanted to go for a ride in a Porsche

with an attorney.

-So anyway, we have this thing about six months

when my wife's mother passes on.

She leaves us this BMW.

-Well, I'm sure sorry to hear that.

Uh, about your wife's mother-in-law.

-Yeah well, we figured we didn't want

to keep up payments on this thing, you know?

Not to mention the insurance.

-Hey, I hear you good buddy.

I hear you.

Know what you mean.

Porsche's sure clean.

Damn!

How's she run?

-Like a six-month-old car.

You know, the thing's still under factory warranty.

-I think uh, we just might have us a deal here.

What do you say?

-OK.

Good, good.

-But uh, would you mind if I uh, took a look

at that registration?

-No, no.

Sure thing.

Listen, I don't blame you.

You know, I heard stories about people

selling cars they don't even own.

-I know it, I know it.

Can you believe that one?

Whoo!

Sure as hell looks all right to me.

But uh, you know the thing is, uh, I

gotta uh, I gotta check this out with the little woman.

You know what I mean?

-I hear you, man.

I hear you.

-Yeah.

All right, Mr. Delancey, many thanks.

And uh, I'll give you a holler.

-It's Delano.

And uh, good luck with the little woman, Mr. Jenky.

-Thank you.

-Hey listen, uh, you know where I'm at.

-Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

I reckon I do.

Y'all take care now, you hear?

-Mario Delano is the legal owner of the car.

But get this.

He bought the frame at the insurance auction.

Wait a sec!

Our friend Mario the Man owns a used car lot!

-That's right.

Mario's the guy that uses Stevie and Mark to drive

the cars to the auction, to the insurance auction.

Remember their job offer?

-Well, Stevie must be his little brother.

I mean, they got the same last name.

Oh, but wait.

Jenks said he was selling the Mercury out of his driveway.

-'Course.

Nobody likes used car dealers.

I mean, this guy probably brings the cars home

and sells them out of the newspaper.

-Aw, man!

So Stevie and Mark, they go out, they steal a car,

they strip it, they store the parts,

put the frame out on the street.

The owner reports it stolen, the cops find the frame,

and the insurance company totals it and pays off the owner.

-Now all the boy geniuses have to do is buy the frame back

at the insurance auction and they legally own the car.

They already have all the other parts.

-And once they rebuild it, it theirs to sell.

Legally.

-Yeah.

For about 12 grand.

That's a nice profit.

-Now let me get this straight.

They stole the car, stripped it, then

they bought the frame back at the auction.

Then they legally own the car once it's rebuilt.

-Yes, sir.

-That's brilliant.

This is the best class I've ever had.

-You say you get the cars from a used car dealer?

-Yeah.

Mario Delano.

He donates them to Central, they strip it, ship to us,

we rebuild it.

-Let me ask you something, Sal.

Why do you think, why do you suppose

Mario Delano is so generous?

-He's a philanthropist, a community leader.

Does it for tax purposes.

-Yeah, right.

-What about that $20 Delano gave you?

-He busted a tool, the klutz.

I guess he's better off stealing them than fixing them.

TOM: Mr. Landers, as a police officer,

I must caution you not to interfere

with an ongoing investigation or warn the perpetrators.

-Hey, come on.

It's one thing to admire ingenuity.

It's another thing to interfere with the character

growth of my students.

-Yeah.

I was hoping you'd say that.

-Four cars are sold, they got enough cash

to buy that garage out of probate.

-They'll be sewing names on the back of their overalls

by graduation.

-So what now?

We uh, we wait for them to steal another car,

hope we get invited along?

-Nah.

I think we're gonna have to help them out a little bit.

-May I help you?

-Yes.

Uh, I'm in town for a few days and I would really

like to drive the car I have at home in Miami.

-Let me guess.

You're a Ferrari man?

-Mercedes.

Do you have a 560SL?

-We have a burgundy and a white one.

They're $150 a day plus $0.50 a mile.

-OK, I'll take the burgundy.

-Very good, sir.

By the way, we offer no comprehensive

on these luxury cars.

But you're covered by your own policy.

-That shouldn't be a problem.

-Not unless it gets stolen.

[laughs]

[phone rings]

-I can't believe it, man.

This is it!

Exactly what we've been looking for.

-I don't know.

-Hey, if you guys don't want the shot, let me know.

I got a date this weekend.

I've been thinking about borrowing it for myself.

-She's only been gone one night.

-She has been gone for a day and a half!

This could be an international incident!

You have police parading around as high school students!

Who has heard of such a thing!

-Look Mr. Drabinsky, Jennifer Atkinson and her girlfriend

didn't go home last night either.

They're probably all three together partying somewhere.

There's nothing to worry about.

[laughing]

[sirens]

[laughing]

-Come on, get out of there.

Come on, get out.

-Can you help me up?

Can I have your hat?

[laughing]

I thought that America was different,

that the secret police did not follow the people around here!

-I told you, they were only trying to relieve the pressure.

-And to make sure that the little Communist does not

recruit some young minds to the red menace, right?

-It was nothing like that!

Trust me.

-Trust you!

-Look, I don't care about any of the politics.

I was told to do a job here.

To ease you in, to make you feel at home.

And that's a whole lot more than you

were getting from Jennifer Atkinson.

-At least Jennifer Atkinson was upfront with me

about who she is.

-Nadia, you want to talk about it?

-Talk about what?

-Talk about what's bothering you.

All this running around?

Five days, nine guys?

-That is none of your business!

-Maybe not.

But you can talk to me about it if you'd like.

-I am just enjoying myself.

Experiencing life as an American teenager would, that's all.

-Come on, Nadia.

I know you're a lot smarter than that.

-In three weeks, I am going back to Poland.

You have no idea what that is like.

-Well, I have some idea from what you've told me.

-That is just the surface, Judy!

Underneath, it is even more bleak.

Communism bores the people to death.

-You know, you're starting to sound like Mr. Ramsey.

-He is not so wrong.

Especially once you have seen this country.

Ever since I was 12 years old, I dreamed of the day

I would come to America.

And when I got here, it was even more.

I want to stay.

-What about your family?

-There is only my father.

My mother, she died when I was 10.

My father would never leave Poland.

-So I don't get it.

Why the ride in the fast lane, Nadia?

You trying to cram a lifetime into four weeks?

-I'm looking for a husband.

You see, if I marry while I am here,

I can emigrate right away.

-Nadia, you're looking the wrong way.

-Perhaps.

But I haven't much time.

Have you ever been in love?

-Yes, I have.

-Are you very much in love with him?

-Very much.

-You are very lucky.

DOUG: Don't worry, man.

We'll be there in plenty of time.

-Well, look guys.

It's a Mercedes.

-Relax.

If they disassemble it, they'll put back together again.

-And better than before.

These guys are good!

-Well look, all I know is, anything happens to that car,

it's my insurance!

-What'd you want us to do?

Go through channels?

It would have taken us three weeks,

we would, would have ended up with a Plymouth.

This way you get in on the bust, you can share the collar.

-Oh my god, man!

Where's the car?

-Oh no!

Oh my god!

My-- ah!

Oh my god, the frame is on fire!

What is this?

-They uh, they must have stripped it for the parts, man.

-What about this is rebuilding?

Huh?

-Well, you see, sometimes the parts

are worth more than the whole thing

with these expensive imports.

DOUG: Yeah you know, they trash the frame because uh, they

kill the evidence, yeah.

-Oh right!

Now you bring this up?

Huh?

I can't believe this, man!

I'm a dead man!

Dead!

I'll never get insurance again!

Never!

You guys have turned me into a high risk, man.

DOUG: Hey relax, Harry.

You were already a high risk!

-You're dead!

I'll kill you both!

I'll kill you!

DOUG: Ohhh!

-Gentlemen, Mario Delano.

What can I do for you this evening?

-Stevie sent us.

He said you were looking for a couple of drivers.

-Where the heck you guys been?

You're supposed to be hot shots.

You're a half hour late!

You know, you have to makes some stops along the way.

DOUG: Like where?

-Like Clocker Paul's.

-How much?

-$50 each car, each run, each time.

Not bad for jockeying cars, huh?

-That sound good to you?

-Sounds good to me.

We're in, man.

Oh by the way, do you know where we can find Stevie and Mark?

-Yeah, yeah.

They're in the back.

But make it fast, huh?

-Oh uh, one more thing there, Mario.

MARIO: What's that?

TOM: You have the right to remain silent.

-What?

-You are [PEE-WEE HERMAN VOICE] busted!

[laughs] Book 'em, Dano.

-Hey.

-Hi, guys.

What's in the truck?

-A 560SL without the frame.

-359 parts labeled and ready for distribution.

-No kidding!

MARK: Yeah.

STEVIE: Yep.

-Good job.

-Thanks.

-Piece of cake, huh?

-Three hours and 10 minutes.

DOUG: No kidding.

-That's not bad for my first foreign luxury car.

-You guys thinking about putting it back together?

-A Mercedes?

The parts are worth more than the whole.

-Oh yeah, right.

-Gentlemen, we have some excruciatingly bad news

for you guys.

We're cops.

You're under arrest.

[laughing]

-I love these guys though.

These guys are great.

-Yeah, right.

-No, really.

We really are cops.

-I think they're serious.

You guys are really cops?

-Oh geez.

-Oh man.

What a lousy way to make a living.

How can you guys do this to us?

-You're ruining the dream, man.

July 1st!

-Hey, maybe we can make a deal.

What do you say to $10,000?

-Come on now, boys and girls.

You know it doesn't work like that.

-They're running?

-They're running.

-[inaudible].

What are we doing?

They know where we live.

-I would like to thank you for everything you have done.

-I haven't done anything, Nadia.

-That is exactly what I mean.

-Who's that?

-Oh, this is my new friend.

Chris.

-Maybe you'll write each other?

-Maybe.

-And maybe you'll come back one day.

-[inaudible].

Goodbye, Judy.

-Goodbye.

DOUG: That's the last of it, dude.

Took us over three weeks, but we finally

sold every part of that Mercedes.

-Yeah, but it's still short, man.

-Jenk's docking us six months for going around procedure.

-What?

Argh!

[thunk]

-Look, I don't get it.

I thought the parts were supposed

to be worth a lot more than the whole car.

-Not when you're selling to legitimate parts dealers.

-Well, I'm just glad that I got the dough,

you know what I mean?

I mean, my insurance company would

have refused to cover my bicycle.

-Hey, ay yo, it's the least we could do.

[bird chirps]

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[bird squawk]

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