Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
3
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:11,680
Okay folks, here they come
and come, and lots of applause
4
00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:19,240
Oh, look here, the marvelous Harry
Secombe, the delightful Spike Milligan
5
00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:21,200
Oh and Peter Sellers
6
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,600
This is the BBC home service
7
00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,800
Another remarkable nineteen
fifty-seven edition of the wireless
8
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:41,960
talking-type, Goon Show!
9
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:45,320
You sir, yes you
with the linen hair and oily suit
10
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,360
And what is it that you want
you sick and twisted boy?
11
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,000
I must ask you to empty your pockets
12
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,720
Ah, quit stalling man! Empty your pockets!
13
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:03,200
Now, listen to me, Neddy
that is our worldly wealth
14
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:04,640
What, what, what, what, what, what, what?!
15
00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:08,440
Then, what's that ominous
bulge in the seat of his trousers?
16
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,640
Oh, just some leather meringues
17
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:12,120
Now, listen to me, my God man
18
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,880
We'd like to hire your
stained glass battering ram
19
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,240
- Ooh, what for?
- Uh, how about two schillings?
20
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:19,080
I haven't got two shillings
21
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,880
We'll take it anyway
22
00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:28,280
No, you dirty, rotten swine
23
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:35,960
You broke my little castle store
a stow away, I say! Come on out!
24
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,000
All right, I will come out
25
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,440
Send in Mr. Sellers
26
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:53,280
- Good morning
- Good morning Mr. Sellers
27
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:57,720
- Now...
- You Brenner?
28
00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,760
Goodness, is that you with him?
29
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:05,120
Yes, now am I right in reading that
you're here for the part of Ned Brockway?
30
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:06,640
Yes, that's right
31
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:10,440
You do realize that the script calls
for a sixty-years old, war veteran?
32
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,560
I've got his voice worked out perfectly
33
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,000
Perhaps I could do a bit for you?
34
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,320
Mr. Sellers, I know you're quit big on radio
35
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:20,680
- Well, I don't like to boast
- But film's a bit of a different medium
36
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,920
And it's one I'm quite, quite keen on
37
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:24,560
A visual medium, dear
38
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:28,680
- Yes, of course
- A very unforgivingly visual medium
39
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,080
But thank you ever
so much for coming
40
00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:54,280
I am little Michael Bluebottle
I'm an ace private detective
41
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:59,240
He's got hish own schcooter
he's got his own, kneecaps
42
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:00,800
He goes anywhere in Finchley
43
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:06,120
And I am hotfoot after the criminals
what have stolen all the string
44
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:11,480
- I suspect the Moriarty man?
- Ah, where is that Moriarty man?
45
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,000
Thinks
46
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:16,440
- Points finger
- Pointy, pointy, pointy
47
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:19,280
- Oh God, now we've done it
- Oh, I'll get her Anne
48
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:20,760
No, that's all right, I'll go
49
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:23,640
No, Anne, it's my house, I'll help Peter
50
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,240
You're tired, you stay and rest
51
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,000
- Have some fun
- Leave it to me and Peg
52
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:33,200
All right, dad... you can be
Major Dennis Bloodnock
53
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:37,840
And you've just apprehended
England's biggest string criminal
54
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,880
- All right, yes
- Peter?
55
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,560
You're under arrest
56
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:46,120
Darling, it's all right, it's all right
57
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:49,040
- Dear, dear me
- Look who's here
58
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,680
- That's the girl
- Is it time for a change?
59
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,800
Sh... sh... sh... oh, she's so lovely
60
00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:56,280
- There we are
- Thanks Mum
61
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,600
I'll... I'll do it
62
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:03,360
Ooh, ohh, boo-boo-boo-boo
63
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:07,280
Those film people won't have
anything to do with me, Mum
64
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,960
It was my fifth audition this week
65
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,280
- What did they say to you?
- Same thing they always say to me
66
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:16,720
Not good-looking enough
not magnetic enough, stick to radio, dear
67
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:21,040
that's what you're good at, keep
being the ring master in a circus of twits
68
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:26,000
Maybe I should just be content
69
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:29,080
You simpering cow
70
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:34,240
How can you be content changing
nappies in a four room flat like a woman?
71
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,240
You want to be a failure like your father?
Keep mewing about contentment
72
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:40,640
- That's not very fair, Peg
- I didn't bring you up to be content
73
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:45,040
I didn't slog around third-rate
music halls, doing these shows a night
74
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:46,720
So you can powder your baby's bottom
75
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:50,080
And whine about how nobody
ever gives the radioman a chance
76
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:55,040
Ah Peter, no one's gonna hand it to you
77
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:58,200
You want success
you gotta go out and take it
78
00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:03,160
Bite the hand that feeds you, then there's
always be another hand with more food
79
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:06,920
And they'll be impressed
by the sharpness of your teeth
80
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:16,080
Come you, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes...
81
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:21,080
- I love you, Peter
- I love you, Peg
82
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:24,080
- I really love you, Peter
- I love you too, Peg
83
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:28,840
- I really love you, Peter
- No, I really love you, Peg
84
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:34,240
Send in Mr. Cobblers
85
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,400
Good morning
86
00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:46,400
- Good morning
- Aye, it is
87
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,600
Ah, would you like
to sit down, Mr. Cobbers?
88
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:54,720
I prefer to stand if you don't mind, ooh
89
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:59,520
You see, I caught a bit
of shrapnel... in the Ardennes
90
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,040
Oh, I quite understand
91
00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:04,120
Now, I don't appear
to have received your C.V
92
00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:07,160
Well, that could be
because I don't have one madam
93
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:12,160
I don't believe a man's worth can
be summed up on a piece of paper
94
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,640
It wouldn't be fair to me, or to you
95
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:21,320
Or to any of those dear lads
I've left behind, in no man's land
96
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:30,760
- But you have acted?
- All over this fair land, madam
97
00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:35,520
Well, you have to have
a formal audition, of course
98
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:39,480
- But I must say... you're nearly perfect
- Well...
99
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,640
- Wai... oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
- Oh! Oh, heavens, ah, oh
100
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,880
- Oh
- Up there
101
00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:49,320
Yes, well, that's what I was thinking
102
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:57,880
- It's me Peter
- You naughty boy
103
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:01,360
Perhaps now we could
talk about my contract?
104
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:41,120
Our nominees for best
performance by a British actor, are
105
00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:48,200
Richard Burton, Peter Finch
Lawrence Olivier, and Peter Sellers
106
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:54,480
And the British Academy Award goes
to, Peter Sellers for I'm Alright Jack
107
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,800
Your royal highness
uh, you naughty man
108
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:10,880
Ladies and gentlemen, first of all, may
I say, thank you very, very much indeed
109
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,280
For this wonderful award
which I shall treasure
110
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:17,440
You know I went to consult an
acknowledged expert about tonight
111
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:21,320
Someone who has published
several pamphlets on this subject
112
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,200
My mother
113
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:27,200
And she told me to be short
be sweet, and be circumscribed
114
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:29,200
Which I am
115
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,600
Don't we have any macaroons?
116
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:58,760
It would be nice to think me
son were very happy then
117
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:03,000
And he might have been
happy with good enough
118
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:15,160
Come here, but good enough was
never what his mother had in mind
119
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:20,960
That boy needed a firmer hand
120
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:30,480
I don't know, maybe if Peg had let us all
settle down in one place for long enough
121
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,120
If Peter had regular routine life
122
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:37,320
I might have been able to teach him
something about life, the way I saw it
123
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:39,720
The straightforwardness of it
124
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,800
We had to keep show on road
125
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:50,800
I remember once, we were all in
a café in Brighton having our tea
126
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,960
Peter would have
been five, no probably six
127
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,720
We got down to the last cake on the plate
128
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,360
And before I could even ask
who wanted to share it
129
00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:03,120
Peter snatched it up, licked it all over
130
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,720
I took it off him, of course
131
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:09,400
He threw himself down on the floor
screaming his bloody head off
132
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,640
Peg just laughed, she bought him sweets
133
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,480
Those bloody rages
134
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:19,680
Peter always got the last cake
135
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:23,440
- Even if it were on someone else's plate
- Background Action
136
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:41,800
Mr. Sellers, what does it feel like
to be co-starring with Sophia Loren?
137
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:48,360
Uh, soft, warm, a little like
being a young boy in a bakery
138
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,640
Very early in the morning
139
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:52,720
There she is!
140
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,080
It's Ella, ah look
141
00:12:58,240 --> 00:12:59,720
This way Miss Loren
142
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:01,880
Excuse me?
143
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,840
Which one of you
gentlemen is Peter Sellers?
144
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:33,280
Welcome to England, Miss Loren
145
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,560
We've never had it so good
146
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:45,320
I'm so pleased Miss Loren
to be telling me about your dreams
147
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:49,600
Oh Doctor, they started when I was a girl
148
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:54,360
A girl, Goodness, gracious
me, that is a very good start
149
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:57,240
And what were you
dreaming about as a girl?
150
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:58,680
Boys
151
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,600
- So you were being crazy for the boys
- No
152
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:04,600
They were crazy for me
153
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,040
That is not so crazy
154
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,600
Such a funny boy
155
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:13,440
Excuse me, uh, Miss
Loren, it's your husband
156
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:19,320
Ah, thank you, oh Carlo
ciao amore, come estas?
157
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:21,720
Si
158
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,960
Get out of the way, I can't see
159
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,240
Open your eyes
160
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,240
Surprise
161
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:46,840
Wow
162
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,480
Daddy, what's in there?
163
00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:01,160
And here we have this year's Formula
One grand champion Michael Sellers
164
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:04,160
whom the press have dubbed
the Human Lightning Bolt
165
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:05,600
and like any young professional
166
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:08,840
young sellers likes to give his
equipment a careful once-over
167
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,800
It is this attention to detail that
has allowed this intrepid speedster
168
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,800
to leave Sterling Moss in
the dust last year at Aintree
169
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:20,840
Eyes clear, jaw fixed, the ambitious
Sellers presents a portrait of determination
170
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,680
What's that sir?
171
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,240
What the bloody hell is that?
172
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:35,760
I'm going to phone the dealer
hard-shell paint job, bollocks!
173
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,600
I'll murder him!
174
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:44,320
Come, see, Dad, come on
175
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,280
All right, I'm coming
176
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:51,080
Dad, come and see, please
177
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:57,440
I fixed it for you, I made it look beautiful
it looks just like a racing car now
178
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:08,640
Dad? Don't you like it dad?
179
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:11,480
Dad?
180
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:28,240
You see Michael?
I fixed all your toys for you
181
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,520
Aren't they beautiful?
182
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,840
Come on darling, we're going downstairs
183
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,440
Come on, it's all right
184
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,200
Two
185
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:23,280
- Michael?
- Yes
186
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,200
- You know what happened this morning?
- Yeah?
187
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,760
- You know daddy didn't mean it, don't you?
- Yeah
188
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:34,000
- You know it's not your fault?
- Yeah
189
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:40,400
He's working very hard
and he just gets carried away sometimes
190
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,000
Okay
191
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:54,560
Michael? Can I see you for a second?
192
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,000
We're in here
193
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:02,240
Hi Mike, I've got a surprise for you
194
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:15,120
Say partner, come
and say howdy to your new friend
195
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,240
- Give him some apple
- Okay
196
00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:23,480
Hello
197
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,440
- Amazing
- Do you like it?
198
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:29,080
- I love him
- Come around the front
199
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:32,440
- Look, Mum
- I think he likes you
200
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,880
A big smile for daddy
201
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,760
- I thought, let's call him Fred
- Fred
202
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,680
He's asleep
203
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,200
Tell me honestly, darling
204
00:18:56,320 --> 00:19:00,600
Do you find it hard to believe that a woman
like this could fall for a man like me?
205
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:08,520
Maybe it is something to do
with the mystery of being in love
206
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:20,360
I'm afraid Min, we're going to have to take
all these little cars to the toy hospital
207
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,680
It's just not charming anymore
208
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:29,440
That's good, I have to be more than
charming, I've got to be passionate
209
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,960
I'm starring opposite the most
beautiful woman in the world
210
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,400
Your son was terrified today
211
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:39,760
I'm under a lot of pressure
I could use your support
212
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:43,160
You've always had my support Peter
213
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:48,520
it's my patience that
I'm no longer sure about
214
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:18,840
Peter?
215
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,920
- Peter, what are you doing?
- I've been bad
216
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:30,120
- Oh Peter, come out of there
- No
217
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:35,640
Oh, hello
218
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,880
Can't you come down here
and join the little people
219
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:04,040
- Peter
- Yes my love?
220
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,240
Why can't we be a normal family?
221
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,280
We are
222
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,600
Sarah, here
223
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,840
- Keep waving to Daddy
- Have a drink
224
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,600
- That's nice
- Michael
225
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,640
I love you!
226
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,320
Bird singing in the sycamore...
227
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,160
- Champagne, Sophia?
- Please
228
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:40,520
Little dream of me, oh, cha, cha
229
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:44,560
Thank you
230
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,320
Are you tired? I could give you
a lift home after this, you know?
231
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:08,560
My home is Rome
that's an awfully long drive, no?
232
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,400
Well, we do have all night
233
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:15,040
You are sweet, but the
studio gives me a limo
234
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:18,080
Besides, you live so far
out here in the country
235
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:21,800
It's out of your way to drive me into town
236
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,320
The great thing about being in
town is you're so close to everything
237
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:33,840
Buckingham Palace
is just across the way
238
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:36,120
You know, in case you
need to borrow some sugar
239
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,560
It's not moving I mind, Peter
240
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,360
It's just not knowing I'm moving
241
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:52,480
Tadaa! Ksh
242
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,560
Oh, darling, I'd like you to meet Ted Levy
243
00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,600
I've brought him on as
our interior decorator
244
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:04,560
By royal appointment HRH
you know, to lighten your load an all
245
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,120
Ted, Anne
246
00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:08,520
It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Sellers
247
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,120
He's a handsome devil
isn't he? But I figure...
248
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:18,160
a handsome man probably will be
able to make us a very handsome flat
249
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,120
- Yes
- Well, I wouldn't go as far as that
250
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:25,680
Now Anne, Ted has got
some brilliant ideas for this place
251
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,440
Mr. Levy, was it?
252
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,000
Ted
253
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:35,760
Ooh, cal time, I've gotta go
254
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:40,560
I must dash off
255
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,480
You two, choose away
256
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:49,360
Oh, have a drinkie-poo
and make a night of it
257
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,840
Ted, whatever's fine with
Anne is perfectly fine with me
258
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,360
Why don't I show you
what I've got in mind?
259
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:29,840
- Darling, you made it
- Oh, Peter
260
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:34,400
Isn't your wife joining us?
261
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:35,840
Andre
262
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:41,520
What would sir and
madam say to a little fish?
263
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,760
I'd probably say, "Hello, little fish"
264
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:48,760
Thank you
265
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,040
To us, my darling
266
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:54,520
You are wonderful
267
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,160
I just can't believe my luck
268
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:04,240
Ah, you are lucky, how?
269
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,760
We're going to be very happy together
270
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,920
It's so dark in here, huh?
271
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:20,840
Ah, yes, well... we have
to take precautions, you know
272
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,080
What do you mean, precautions?
273
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:28,720
Should we... should, tell the world?
Stop all this sneaking about?
274
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:33,320
But Peter, I thought we
were having a friendly dinner
275
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,240
I'd be a relief to you, too
Ponti's such a nice man
276
00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:44,400
It must be hard lying to your husband
277
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:48,760
I think you are mistaken
278
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:54,920
Go home to your children
and, go home to your wife, Peter
279
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:11,680
She's right, they should be the first to know
280
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:14,960
Well, what do you think?
281
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:21,800
Does this mean you want a divorce?
282
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:29,200
Oh, you know I hadn't
thought about it, not necessarily
283
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,400
Do you still love us?
284
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:41,920
Of course I do, sweetheart
285
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:51,560
Just, not as much as I love Sophia Loren
286
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:58,720
- What he's talking about
- I don't know, darling, come here
287
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:23,040
Hello, Ted?
288
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:24,920
It's Anne Sellers
289
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:29,600
Uhm, I'm glad you're there
I've had an idea about the color
290
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,720
Well I was wondering if we could meet
291
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,840
Yes, yes, that would be lovely
292
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:42,360
I'll see you there
293
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:49,760
George, how are you?
294
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:33,520
Hello, are you enjoying
being Sophia's stand-in?
295
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:35,960
Yes
296
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:39,160
Have you ever ridden in
the back of a Rolls Royce?
297
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:44,360
- Why no
- Next best thing to a Bentley
298
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:48,760
Anne?
299
00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:59,080
Michael?
300
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:02,760
You awake?
301
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:05,880
Hi, Dad
302
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:09,480
What is it?
303
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:16,080
Your mother is sleeping
with the interior decorator
304
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:52,680
- Where are the children?
- They're at Peg's
305
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,960
If you leave this flat
I'm going to jump off this balcony
306
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:58,920
Don't make me any promises, Peter
307
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,240
All right! I'll meet you downstairs
308
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:09,960
I had you followed, the detectives
asked me if I wanted to see any pictures
309
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:13,440
I told them no, I thought
that was rather chivalrous
310
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:14,880
How considerate
311
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,200
You are not to leave
this house again, I forbid it
312
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:19,400
Come back here
313
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:23,120
Anne!
314
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:36,400
I do love you
315
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,560
I'm so fucking bored of the little boy!
316
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,240
Why can't you be a man?
317
00:31:57,040 --> 00:32:02,360
You're a miserable, lying, shit, I hate you
318
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:26,160
I'll meet you downstairs
319
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:42,920
- And, cut!
- That was cut
320
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:44,360
Check the gate
321
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,480
Could we do it again
please? I didn't quite feel it
322
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,920
There's no time darling, fix it in post
323
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:51,920
Oh, all right
324
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,880
This way, Mrs. Sellers
325
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:13,640
Oh, Peter, I love you so much
I'm so sorry I hurt you
326
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:15,440
I should never have slept with Ted
327
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:17,280
You're the best lover I've ever had
328
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:20,640
I'm going down to the lobby to tell
Ted that I never want to see him again
329
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:24,160
And then we'll go out to your favorite
restaurant, and eat a sumptuous meal
330
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:25,960
And after that
I'm going to make love to you
331
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:29,320
Like no wife has ever made
love to her husband before
332
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:47,600
- I'm just going to freshen up, and then...
- I'll meet you downstairs
333
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:55,800
That's much better
334
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:17,200
She's gone, Mum
335
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,920
You're all right, you're with Peg now
336
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:32,520
I thought if I just gave the world a
little push, it would all fall into place
337
00:34:33,240 --> 00:34:38,680
- Well, at least you tried, dear
- Perhaps I should call, Anne
338
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:44,360
She left you, let her go
339
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:50,600
I just don't know
what's going to happen next
340
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:58,040
Don't you worry
my little boy, the future's ours now
341
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:01,560
And there are many ways of finding it
342
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:06,720
Turn the light out, Bill
343
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:33,040
Mr. Sellers? Maurice
Woodruff, you wish to see me
344
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:35,720
Roger Moore speaks very highly of you
345
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:40,560
As he should, come, the future is this way
346
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:59,640
You are aware that green is the
unluckiest color in the spectrum?
347
00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:02,760
- It is?
- It's positively fatal
348
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:15,240
- You feel better?
- Immensely
349
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:23,360
So, what else is troubling you?
350
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,440
You're the fortuneteller
shouldn't you already know?
351
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:30,640
Even fortune's pump needs priming
352
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:39,120
Uh, I keep making changes
353
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:43,640
you know, big ones and little ones
354
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,680
Always hoping that the
next one will be the right one
355
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,640
I lost weight, I bought new clothes
356
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:53,920
I changed my radio job for a film career
357
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,960
I changed my marriage into a divorce
358
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:02,040
Nothing makes me happy the
way that I'm supposed to be happy
359
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:06,120
One can't be happy, if one's lonely
360
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:27,120
Spirits are telling me that there
will be many pretty ladies, in your life
361
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,800
You see, Peter
you don't mind if I call you Peter?
362
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:35,520
- No
- You like pretty ladies?
363
00:37:36,720 --> 00:37:39,840
You're quite a perceptive man, Maurice
364
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:51,640
Hello, ladies, yes, it is me
365
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:10,520
A very good day to you sir
welcome to our showroom
366
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:12,680
It's absolutely delightful
367
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:17,680
As you can see, we...
we do have all the latest models
368
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:23,480
- Here's a sporty little number
- Mm, superb
369
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,520
Or, perhaps something
more along these lines
370
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:31,560
Big grille on this one
371
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:33,560
Oh, yes, sir, I have
one of these myself, sir
372
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:35,720
- May I?
- Please
373
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:42,560
Ah, the Germans are amazing, aren't they?
How about, engine noise?
374
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:45,880
Well, she'll certainly growl
when you're hard on the floor, sir
375
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,280
Rest of the time, silent as a kitten
376
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,120
Me-ow
377
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:59,040
So, what will it take to get
sir into one of these today?
378
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:02,280
A test drive
379
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:11,640
Emma, how fast do
you run the quarter mile?
380
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:13,360
Honestly, Mr. Sellers
381
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:15,360
Thank you Emma, that'll be all
382
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:25,760
Blake Edwards, is shooting a David
Niven movie, in Rome and Switzerland
383
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:28,320
Starts filming next week, wants you
384
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:29,760
- Next week?
- Mm-hmm
385
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:31,560
He obviously hasn't
wanted me for that long
386
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:33,000
It's a supporting part
387
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:35,160
Peter Ustinov's pulled out
388
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:39,120
Oh, well, yes of course, I'll do it
389
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:43,560
Any part not good enough for
Ustinov, is perfectly fine for me
390
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:46,880
- Peter
- I'm not taking Ustinov's sloppy seconds
391
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:50,880
I won the fucking British
Academy Award for god's sake!
392
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,320
Are you going to overreact
393
00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:56,280
or are you going to listen to why your
very smart agent wants you to do this?
394
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:58,960
Apparently I'm going to overreact
395
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:06,120
Go on
396
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:11,640
Blake Edwards is the hottest
director in Hollywood right now
397
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:14,840
"Days of Wine and Roses"
"Breakfast at Tiffany's"
398
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:19,040
He can get anyone he wants
and Peter, he wants you
399
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:22,320
United Artist is putting a lot
of weight behind this picture
400
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:25,640
It's gonna get very wide
very international release
401
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:27,640
Now, you may be a big star in Britain, love
402
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:30,280
but the folks in Duluth
have never heard of you
403
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,120
Well, we're even
I've never heard of Duluth
404
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:35,400
It's in United States
405
00:40:37,240 --> 00:40:41,160
Oh, that Duluth
406
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,840
It's called "The Pink Panther"
407
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:50,840
Sounds like a bloody strip joint, for poofs
408
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,800
Please, try mine
409
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,560
Excuse me
but aren't you Peter Sellers?
410
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:35,640
Not today
411
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:54,280
Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to make
our final approach into Rome International
412
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:56,840
- Uh, excusez-moi
- Please take your seat, sir
413
00:41:56,960 --> 00:42:01,520
Please ensure your seatbelts are fastened
and your seats are in the upright position
414
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:05,200
- Sir
- Yes, I'm looking for my trunk
415
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:08,320
- Your trun?
- What?
416
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:12,360
- Y... you said trun?
- I know perfectly well what I said
417
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:15,080
Right, I don't understand
418
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:18,080
Are you not familiar with
Her Majesty's tongue?
419
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:25,960
Yes, I am, and I can assure you the
word trun, does not exist in our language
420
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:28,440
Then I demand to speak
to the person in charge
421
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:30,000
I am the person in charge, sir
422
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:34,040
- Ah, then I demand to speak with you
- Uh... you are speaking to me
423
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:35,600
Of course I'm speaking with you
424
00:42:35,720 --> 00:42:40,760
What kind of a crazy stewardess thinks
a passenger stands speaking with himself?
425
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:44,440
What kind of a passenger puts everyone's
lives at risk just before a landing?
426
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:46,000
Our lives are at risk?
427
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:49,200
Our live are not at risk
428
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:53,640
Now sit down and belt up
I'm getting completely lost
429
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:55,080
Lost?
430
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:58,480
Yes, I have a sly
instinct of emergency
431
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:01,440
- Do not fear, read another magazine
- French twit
432
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:07,880
I want you to go very quietly
and speak with the pee-lot
433
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,760
- Pee-lot?
- What?
434
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:11,200
You said pee-lot
435
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:13,280
I know very well what I said
436
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:18,160
I have a funny feeling we might be
landing in Rome sooner than we think
437
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:41,240
Do be careful Mr. Sellers
438
00:43:50,720 --> 00:43:54,720
Carol, our guest has arrived
will you take his coat, please?
439
00:43:57,320 --> 00:44:00,280
And he also looks a little thirsty, Jill?
440
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:09,240
Ah yes, Switzerland, of course
441
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:11,760
Come here Jill
442
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:19,320
- Hi, Greg Anderson
- Running things on a shoestring, I see
443
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:22,320
- Well, welcome to Hollywood
- This is Italy
444
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:24,240
Hollywood is a state of mind
445
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:28,240
I've got one or two
ideas about Clouseau
446
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:30,320
- Couple bits of business I'd like to...
- Peter
447
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:32,960
The script will be shot as written
448
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:35,440
- Yes but in the bedroom scene...
- I mean it
449
00:44:39,720 --> 00:44:41,640
You believe this guy?
450
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,040
Okay, you look great
451
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:47,440
Let's shoot this, now this
is where we introduce Clouseau
452
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:50,560
And we tip off the audience
that your wife is David's mistress
453
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:52,880
Now, we're kind of in
a hurry because we only have...
454
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:55,480
Niven until two o'clock
so I'd like to get this in one take
455
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:57,120
- Ready?
- Set go
456
00:44:57,240 --> 00:44:59,760
Okay, he's only got one line
just keep him in the frame, okay?
457
00:44:59,880 --> 00:45:03,040
Whatever he does
Henri, you wanna take your mark?
458
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:07,360
Okay, one ninety-two, A, take one
459
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:09,520
Action
460
00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:36,960
We must find that woman
461
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:41,240
Is that what you said?
462
00:45:48,240 --> 00:45:49,760
- Tell me you got that
- We got it!
463
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:51,480
Testing
464
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:56,160
On the set of Pink Panther in Gstaad
Switzerland with Peter Sellers
465
00:45:56,680 --> 00:46:03,520
Peter, how are you able to inhabit
your characters so successfully?
466
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:10,160
Uh, well, you see, I don't really
have any personality of my own
467
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:14,440
There used to be a me behind the
mask, then I had it surgically removed
468
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:21,600
I don't know, if I didn't have characters
like Clouseau, I don't know who I'd be
469
00:46:21,720 --> 00:46:23,040
Perhaps I'd be you
470
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:25,800
But then, if I were you
who would you be?
471
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:29,920
- You
- Uh, that's very good
472
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:35,080
So... word is you're stealing
this movie from David Niven
473
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,440
No, no, no, no, no, that's ridiculous
474
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:40,640
This, this is such a team effort
475
00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:45,920
David Niven, is one of the cinemas
most distinguished leading men
476
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:49,960
One can learn a lot from
people like that, you know
477
00:46:59,720 --> 00:47:02,400
Terrific, Blake
talk tomorrow about that
478
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:06,360
Good show, the frogs
will never forgive you, well done
479
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:08,560
- Thank you David
- Genius
480
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:15,560
I'm not supposed to tell you but, United
Artist already wants a Clouseau sequel
481
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:19,280
- Who's directing?
- Oh probably some hack
482
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:21,360
I'm dead fucking serious
483
00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:25,880
- Peter, relax
- You're not suggesting you would?
484
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:29,040
- What are you talking about?
- I was bloody awful up there
485
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:31,440
If that's what your gonna get out of me
I don't think I want to repeat the experience
486
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:33,360
You're blaming me
for your performance?
487
00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:35,840
- So you agree, I was awful
- I thought you were brilliant
488
00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:39,000
- What the fuck do you know?
- Peter
489
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,640
We're all going out
you just have to come
490
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:45,120
Ah, hello, young-hee
491
00:47:45,240 --> 00:47:47,240
- So-mee
- Oh, that's so you
492
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:49,800
I knew there was
a pronoun involved
493
00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:52,520
Blakey, aren't you coming?
494
00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:02,080
meanwhile, on the
American entertainment beat
495
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:05,840
Crowds continue to flock
to see The Pink Panther
496
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:10,360
One avid patron, waiting in line
to see the film for the third time
497
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:12,000
was heard to remark
498
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:18,880
I love foreign films, Peter Sellers
is my absolute favorite French actor
499
00:48:19,240 --> 00:48:24,520
Peter, you've got a hit
you shouldn't be here
500
00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:27,720
How long has he been like this?
501
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:30,160
Since last Monday
502
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:33,200
You didn't tell me
503
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:56,240
Peg said you couldn't come
504
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:04,000
Well I'm here now, dad
505
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:09,480
Pete, bloke in the next bed
506
00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:14,360
I promised him your autograph
507
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:33,840
- I'll get right on to that dad
- He'll like that
508
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:39,440
I told him...
509
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:42,560
my son...
510
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:46,840
was a special boy
511
00:49:57,800 --> 00:50:00,120
No let him rest now
512
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:02,920
Let him rest
513
00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:55,080
The reporters
they'll want some remarks
514
00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:06,200
You didn't call me
515
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:25,200
Hello, is Spike there?
516
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:28,840
Oh, do you know
when he'll be back?
517
00:51:29,240 --> 00:51:31,400
All right, no, bye
518
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:42,440
- Is Harry there, please?
- Peter, its uh... it's Harry
519
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:44,720
How are you?
Is there anything I can do?
520
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:46,440
No, no, no, I'm fine
I'm looking after Mike
521
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:48,360
and I just thought you
might like to pop over for a beer
522
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:50,320
To be honest Peter, I'm up north, so...
523
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:54,680
- Oh, is that today? I forgot, yeah
- Why don't we say Monday?
524
00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:57,000
- Uh, right
- Ying tong, mate
525
00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:58,520
Yiddle! Poo!
526
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:03,320
Mike, put that down
put that down, please
527
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:04,800
Thank you
528
00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:07,880
Go to your room
529
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:16,800
Whoo
530
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:27,480
Here it is, here it is
531
00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:30,000
Welcome to my humble chapeau
532
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:35,040
Hmm, hmm
533
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:36,840
Ooh
534
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:46,600
Mmm, God
535
00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:50,320
I, I don't seem to be able to get it in
536
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:53,320
Just hang on...
537
00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:55,360
- Good evening, Mr. Sellers
- Huh?
538
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:00,040
Oh, Christ
539
00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:03,680
You nearly gave me a heart attack
540
00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:06,160
You're a hard man to get a hold of
541
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,320
- Not lately
- God
542
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:12,800
Linda, I'd like you
to meet Stanley Kubrick
543
00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:16,320
It's nice to meet you
544
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:21,080
So, uh, Peter, Columbia won't let
me make my next picture without you
545
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:23,760
- Awfully insightful of them
- Yeah
546
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:28,960
- What's the part?
- All of them
547
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:32,680
What, the whole film?
548
00:53:41,360 --> 00:53:43,400
You can destroy the world, Peter
549
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:45,760
Fine, I can hear you now, Dimitri
550
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:49,120
Clear and plain and coming through fine
551
00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:53,560
Yes, it's good that
you're fine, and, and I'm fine
552
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:58,560
And I agree with you
it's great to be fine
553
00:54:00,880 --> 00:54:05,400
Now then, Dimitri
you know how we've always talked
554
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:09,920
about the possibility of something
going wrong with the bomb?
555
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:12,600
The Hydrogen bomb
556
00:54:12,720 --> 00:54:20,120
Now what happened is, one of our
base commanders... he had a sort of, well
557
00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:24,000
he went a little funny
in the head, just a little funny
558
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:30,440
You know? And he
went and did a silly thing
559
00:54:30,720 --> 00:54:32,280
Oh, now don't be mad at me, Dimitri
560
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:35,320
Remember that time
we were dancing with Natalia?
561
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:40,040
You remember Natalia
the girl with the huge, arthritic problem
562
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:44,360
Sorry Stan
563
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:55,080
I can assure you, I can assure you
Major Bat Guano, if that is indeed your name
564
00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:58,400
Do... put that gun away
and stop this nonsense
565
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:02,320
The court inquiry on this is gonna
come down on you like a ton of bricks
566
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:06,720
The court inquiry on this is gonna
give you... give you such a pranging
567
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:08,720
Mr. Sellers?
568
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:11,120
Ah, Hillary, what
happened to my luncheon?
569
00:55:11,240 --> 00:55:13,560
Ah, you... uhm... your mother's here
570
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:17,560
Shall I tell her you're in make-up?
571
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:25,240
No, I'll be right there
572
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:30,000
You missed Sarah's birthday
573
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:36,080
Peter, you know the press pay
a lot of attention to that sort of thing
574
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:41,440
You know, liebchen, that is
not chicken that you're eating
575
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:48,680
Anyway, I told the man at the times that you
were busy filming, but you'd sent your love
576
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:51,320
and that nothing was more
important to you than your children
577
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:53,560
Mm, I think he was satisfied with that
578
00:55:56,440 --> 00:55:58,400
Oh, uh...
579
00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:02,400
Sarah made you that
580
00:56:07,960 --> 00:56:09,680
Eat your lunch
581
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:18,760
You know, in the coming years
the nuclear family as we know it
582
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:20,960
will have ceased to exist
583
00:56:25,520 --> 00:56:32,760
All human requirements will be
dealt with, cleanly and efficiently
584
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:40,160
Nourishment, leisure pastimes
585
00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:43,680
Sexual partners
586
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:49,520
All these problems
will be regulated by the state
587
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:53,040
So you see
there will be no need for food
588
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:54,560
Arggh!
589
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:56,440
Or mothers!
590
00:57:11,720 --> 00:57:14,040
How was lunch with
your son, Mrs. Sellers?
591
00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:18,960
I don't know, really, I didn't see him
592
00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:37,360
Anybody home?
593
00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:40,000
In here, hello, you
594
00:57:40,280 --> 00:57:43,080
Annie, Annie, Annie, Mm
595
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:51,400
- Sarah Sellers?
- I'm Sarah
596
00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:54,720
Oh, there you go then, dearie
597
00:57:56,480 --> 00:57:57,880
Let's open it
598
00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:00,760
For seven-year-old Sarah
599
00:58:00,880 --> 00:58:04,040
Maybe one day I'll teach
you to ride it, love, daddy
600
00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:05,600
Just sign here, ma'am
601
00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:08,600
Go and have a look, love
602
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:10,400
Thanks
603
00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:15,800
Boys, boy, I said boy, I said boy
604
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:19,040
Boys, lets' get this thing on the hump
we got some flying to do
605
00:58:19,160 --> 00:58:20,640
- Flying to do
- Flatter
606
00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:24,680
I'm not playing a bomber pilot
what can I do with that? Crammed in there
607
00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:26,120
Oh, look
608
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:28,080
Let me just hear it again
let me hear it again
609
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:29,760
Three characters is enough
three characters is enough...
610
00:58:29,880 --> 00:58:31,520
Three is a good number
611
00:58:31,640 --> 00:58:33,040
You're being paid for four
612
00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:35,320
You're stretching me too thin Stanley
613
00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:37,760
Who do you think I am?
Who do you think I am?
614
00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:40,120
I think you're whoever I want you to be
615
00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:42,680
Then who am I now?
Then who am I now?
616
00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:50,080
Peter, have you ever heart
of mutually assured destruction?
617
00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:52,280
Hum a few bars and I'll join in
618
00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:59,440
It refers to when both sides
in an atomic conflict are so powerful
619
00:58:59,560 --> 00:59:02,120
that if either side were to take action
620
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:06,840
It would inevitably result in the
total annihilation of all concerned
621
00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:10,640
I find this concept can
be applied to many situations
622
00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:18,400
You're a peculiar fucker, Stan
623
00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:20,480
Wait, Peter
624
00:59:21,720 --> 00:59:23,040
Peter
625
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:26,920
Clear the lattice please
and finish off this painting
626
00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:32,800
You've got no idea
what it's like to be me
627
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:34,440
we haven't got time
628
00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:44,320
Absolute control is a useful thing
629
00:59:46,640 --> 00:59:52,280
Eliminate the personal element
and you can get so much more done
630
00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:58,400
This was a realization that
Peter Sellers never had to face
631
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:02,200
because there was
no person there to begin with
632
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:12,080
He was a vessel, into which, characters
and personalities ran like phantoms
633
01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:19,400
But even an empty vessel
can become too full
634
01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:24,000
I'm not getting it!
635
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:27,800
I'm useless!
636
01:00:31,760 --> 01:00:36,760
Sarah... your father is
a useless, talentless, empty man
637
01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:38,360
Did you know that?
638
01:00:39,320 --> 01:00:43,200
- Yes, daddy
- Right then
639
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:54,040
Dad?
640
01:00:54,160 --> 01:00:56,240
Use the other loo, Mike, I'm busy
641
01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:58,760
I don't have to go, dad
642
01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:04,640
Please open the door
643
01:01:13,200 --> 01:01:16,280
- What do you want?
- Are you all right?
644
01:01:16,640 --> 01:01:20,200
No, I'm not all right
I'm not all right at all
645
01:01:20,320 --> 01:01:22,640
You see, I can't find
the voice for Major King Kong
646
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:24,640
That's all anybody hires me for
647
01:01:24,760 --> 01:01:27,480
I can't find it because it's not there!
648
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:33,040
- Dad?
- Your dad doesn't exist
649
01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:35,040
Where's the bloody seconal?
650
01:01:53,840 --> 01:02:00,240
Dad, when I didn't want to play rugby
at school, I said I was sick when I wasn't
651
01:02:02,360 --> 01:02:06,880
They let me sit in the nurse's
office, she was very pretty
652
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:13,400
Was she?
653
01:02:27,640 --> 01:02:29,320
Morning, Stan
654
01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:36,560
Afraid I had a spot of bother
getting out of a cab last night
655
01:02:37,400 --> 01:02:39,520
Damned nuisance
656
01:02:40,040 --> 01:02:44,440
The doctor assures me
it's only a hairline crack
657
01:02:50,480 --> 01:02:54,480
Just don't let the
insurance chaps find out
658
01:02:58,240 --> 01:03:02,560
Blake Edwards has got this new
Panther script and uh, Sellers is waffling
659
01:03:02,680 --> 01:03:06,480
so, uh... if you could
help convince him to do it
660
01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:11,680
Exactly, right, blake Edwards
661
01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:15,600
I'll have my girl wire the money
today, what's the account?
662
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:22,040
The Midland Bank, Mayfair Branch
account number 46-25-01
663
01:03:22,160 --> 01:03:23,560
Right, thanks, bubeleh
664
01:03:23,680 --> 01:03:25,560
Not at all, pleasure
doing business with you
665
01:03:25,680 --> 01:03:27,640
Oh, a word of advice for free
666
01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:31,560
Don't even think of driving
a red or a white car this weekend
667
01:03:31,680 --> 01:03:33,440
- Okay, thanks
- Not at all
668
01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:43,120
So... Fsh... Pink Panther
no, no, too obvious
669
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:48,800
Blake Edwards, mm, B.E.
670
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:55,520
Well, hooray for Hollywood
671
01:03:59,560 --> 01:04:01,080
That's extraordinary
672
01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:03,240
Oh Peter, this is good news
673
01:04:03,360 --> 01:04:06,920
You're gonna become involved
with a very special person
674
01:04:07,040 --> 01:04:10,320
It's gonna spawn
a very fruitful partnership
675
01:04:12,960 --> 01:04:14,920
Do you know I'm
even getting the initials?
676
01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:18,360
It's uh... ah, V.E.
677
01:04:18,480 --> 01:04:24,560
It's uh V.P., V.E., V.P. V.E. no, B. B.E.
678
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:28,280
Peter, you must not let this person go
679
01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:30,840
Destiny's already written
this chapter of your life
680
01:04:30,960 --> 01:04:33,520
You must act positively
681
01:04:33,640 --> 01:04:38,280
Yeah? So... say with me, B.E.
682
01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:42,480
- B.E.
- B.E.
683
01:04:42,840 --> 01:04:44,480
- B.E.
- B.E.
684
01:04:44,600 --> 01:04:48,040
- B.E.
- B.E.
685
01:04:56,880 --> 01:04:58,680
Mr. Sellers, sir?
686
01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:00,280
Oh
687
01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:03,280
What?
688
01:05:04,560 --> 01:05:06,800
Mr. Sellers, are you in there?
689
01:05:09,520 --> 01:05:12,520
- Mr. Sellers
- Go away
690
01:05:15,400 --> 01:05:17,160
Are you sure you're all right, sir?
691
01:05:17,280 --> 01:05:19,120
Yes I am
692
01:05:19,240 --> 01:05:23,440
Just take your fresh fruit
and shove it up your ass
693
01:05:23,560 --> 01:05:26,400
Right-O, sir
thank you very much, sir
694
01:05:40,920 --> 01:05:42,880
Britt Ekland
695
01:05:47,800 --> 01:05:50,000
Hello, Britt, you must be Britt
696
01:05:50,120 --> 01:05:51,520
You're Britt Ekland
697
01:05:52,560 --> 01:05:53,960
I'm Peter
698
01:05:54,280 --> 01:05:57,640
Peter Sellers, but call me Peter, baby
699
01:05:58,840 --> 01:06:00,440
Oh, sorry
700
01:06:02,400 --> 01:06:06,000
Pow, yow, sss
701
01:06:09,160 --> 01:06:10,640
B.E.
702
01:06:10,960 --> 01:06:12,480
P.S.
703
01:06:12,720 --> 01:06:14,480
That's nice
704
01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:22,720
l like Swedes, mashed
705
01:06:27,360 --> 01:06:32,200
Hello, I'm Peter, Peter Sellers
706
01:06:32,440 --> 01:06:34,640
Like you, I didn't have
much on this evening
707
01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:38,200
and I wanted to know
if you'd like to go and see a movie
708
01:06:40,560 --> 01:06:42,120
Hmm?
709
01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:34,960
I think I'm in love with you
710
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:42,360
- But you've just met me
- Then it's still fresh in my mind
711
01:07:47,520 --> 01:07:50,920
- Cookie?
- Yes, please
712
01:07:59,560 --> 01:08:03,520
That's very, very good
just look here, look here, super
713
01:08:03,640 --> 01:08:06,440
Super, yes, that's right
now just look here
714
01:08:06,560 --> 01:08:08,000
Look here, good
715
01:08:08,120 --> 01:08:10,680
Very nice, I'll come in closer
716
01:08:10,800 --> 01:08:12,920
Oh, it's all right, I've met this sofa
717
01:08:13,360 --> 01:08:15,040
We're on intimate terms
718
01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:20,200
Yes, now, oh
work with me, that is good
719
01:08:20,320 --> 01:08:24,480
Thinks: must take up
photography as full-time job
720
01:08:24,960 --> 01:08:28,960
Now I need to get in closer
come the full length, come the full length
721
01:08:29,240 --> 01:08:31,920
Yes, mind if I sit here?
722
01:08:32,040 --> 01:08:35,480
Oh God, I haven't felt leather like
this on my thighs since the Third Reich
723
01:08:35,600 --> 01:08:38,480
Yee-poot, let's get rid of that there
724
01:08:41,480 --> 01:08:43,600
Truly, truly beautiful
725
01:08:56,240 --> 01:08:58,800
She is the most extraordinary girl
726
01:08:58,920 --> 01:09:01,400
Like a tulip about to bloom
727
01:09:01,520 --> 01:09:06,600
Absolutely exquisite
phenomenal in bed
728
01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:10,640
It is funny, isn't it?
729
01:09:11,160 --> 01:09:12,880
I keep saying that I'll
never get hooked again
730
01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:14,560
That I'm tired of having my heart bleed
731
01:09:14,680 --> 01:09:17,800
Yet here I am
I think I want to marry her!
732
01:09:20,120 --> 01:09:22,400
That is, if you think it's okay
733
01:09:30,400 --> 01:09:31,920
Oh, decisions, decisions...
734
01:09:32,040 --> 01:09:33,360
Would you like to come
to my suite, my sweet?
735
01:09:33,480 --> 01:09:37,000
Drive on James, now
736
01:09:40,320 --> 01:09:45,760
Ooh, it's the cops of normal
it's all right officer, I'm fully licensed
737
01:09:48,240 --> 01:09:52,400
Oh, so sorry my darling, oh
738
01:09:56,400 --> 01:09:58,640
Care to put on some music, love?
739
01:10:05,880 --> 01:10:09,400
- It doesn't work
- Ah, well, don't trouble yourself sweetheart
740
01:10:09,520 --> 01:10:12,360
There are many ways
of making beautiful music
741
01:10:12,480 --> 01:10:13,880
Cheers
742
01:10:21,120 --> 01:10:23,120
It's a bit dark in here
could you get the curtains, darling?
743
01:10:23,240 --> 01:10:25,520
It's that little switch, there
744
01:10:43,560 --> 01:10:45,760
You make me feel so young
745
01:10:47,200 --> 01:10:50,960
You make me feel
like spring has sprung
746
01:10:51,200 --> 01:10:58,920
And every time I see you grin
I'm such a happy, individual
747
01:10:59,040 --> 01:11:01,520
The moment that you speak...
748
01:11:02,640 --> 01:11:06,400
I wanna go play hide and seek
749
01:11:06,640 --> 01:11:13,160
I wanna go and bounce
the moon just like a toy balloon
750
01:11:13,880 --> 01:11:20,440
You and I... are just like a couple of tots
751
01:11:21,520 --> 01:11:25,000
running cross the meadow
752
01:11:25,360 --> 01:11:29,480
Picking up lots of forget-me-nots
753
01:11:29,640 --> 01:11:32,520
You made me feel so young
754
01:11:32,840 --> 01:11:34,680
- What do you say?
- You made me feel there's something's up
755
01:11:34,800 --> 01:11:37,040
Would you care to become
the second Mrs. Sellers?
756
01:11:37,160 --> 01:11:44,240
place to belong and wonderful
thing to be young, and even when I'm...
757
01:11:44,360 --> 01:11:46,920
Better hurry up, love, I've only
got the band for another half hour
758
01:11:47,040 --> 01:11:51,520
I'm gonna feel the way I do, today
759
01:11:51,640 --> 01:11:59,040
Cause you make me feel so young
760
01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:07,960
You make me feel so young
761
01:12:13,680 --> 01:12:16,080
I love you, Peter!
762
01:12:16,520 --> 01:12:19,400
Oh, you hear that folks?
763
01:12:19,640 --> 01:12:22,840
- She loves me on magnetic, striped film
- Here we go! Here we go!
764
01:12:23,680 --> 01:12:25,760
Daddy, let's go over there
765
01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:56,400
So Peg, what do you
think of the new cottage?
766
01:12:56,520 --> 01:12:57,840
You're watering the gin
767
01:12:57,960 --> 01:13:00,520
Well, in your case
perhaps that's not a bad idea
768
01:13:02,800 --> 01:13:05,480
You've only known that
bleeding Nazi for three weeks
769
01:13:05,600 --> 01:13:08,120
Peg, I couldn't be happier
770
01:13:08,480 --> 01:13:11,240
Why are you making
the same mistake all over again?
771
01:13:11,360 --> 01:13:15,040
Because, my love
they won't let me marry you
772
01:13:15,160 --> 01:13:17,280
Mr. Sellers, how's about
a shot of you and your mum?
773
01:13:18,760 --> 01:13:20,360
So where are you
going for your honeymoon?
774
01:13:20,480 --> 01:13:23,840
Where else, Peg? Hollywood, U.S. of A.
775
01:13:28,360 --> 01:13:32,880
- Happy, darling?
- I'm about to be
776
01:13:40,880 --> 01:13:48,560
Oh, that's good, oh, that's good, oh my God
you are very good, in uh... wait, wait, wait
777
01:13:48,680 --> 01:13:50,560
- Ah
- Wait
778
01:13:51,480 --> 01:13:54,880
- No
- Breath, breath, breath in
779
01:14:22,960 --> 01:14:27,440
- Are you sure you're my wife?
- What do you mean?
780
01:14:27,720 --> 01:14:31,280
Because no wife should
be that good in the sack
781
01:14:37,360 --> 01:14:39,560
Is that what I look like?
782
01:14:44,320 --> 01:14:46,280
Just, one minute
783
01:14:53,280 --> 01:14:54,600
Oy!
784
01:14:56,400 --> 01:14:58,560
- Arrgh!
- Peter?
785
01:14:58,680 --> 01:15:02,080
- Arrgh! Arrgh!
- Peter?
786
01:15:02,400 --> 01:15:05,880
- Argh, Britt call the doctor, would you? Oh
- Peter
787
01:15:09,400 --> 01:15:11,680
- Here we go
- Blood to lab
788
01:15:13,640 --> 01:15:16,720
Just, try to breath, Peter
789
01:15:19,080 --> 01:15:20,640
Oh, would you wait
outside Mrs. Sellers?
790
01:15:20,760 --> 01:15:22,080
- It's gonna be fine
- No
791
01:15:22,200 --> 01:15:23,640
Please
792
01:15:24,920 --> 01:15:26,680
He's arrested
793
01:15:26,960 --> 01:15:30,120
- Okay, let's charge to one twenty
- One twenty
794
01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:37,840
Clear
795
01:15:38,720 --> 01:15:40,840
- No pulse
- And so the news...
796
01:15:40,960 --> 01:15:42,640
- Peter, come on
- in theater, Peter Sellers
797
01:15:42,760 --> 01:15:47,040
who is tonight fighting
for his life in a California hospital
798
01:15:47,160 --> 01:15:50,000
Mr. Selllers has
suffered a serious setback
799
01:15:50,120 --> 01:15:53,920
His condition is said
to be grave and deteriorating
800
01:15:56,080 --> 01:15:57,440
No pulse
801
01:15:59,360 --> 01:16:00,720
Clear
802
01:16:06,560 --> 01:16:07,880
There you go
803
01:16:09,600 --> 01:16:11,600
Oh God, mother
804
01:16:11,880 --> 01:16:14,560
Mother, we've only
been married for six weeks
805
01:16:19,000 --> 01:16:23,240
They don't know, mother
I don't know
806
01:16:24,000 --> 01:16:26,440
- Patient's coded, Doctor
- Damn! He's gone again
807
01:16:26,680 --> 01:16:29,920
- Okay, charge to one eighty
- One eighty
808
01:16:39,600 --> 01:16:40,960
Clear
809
01:16:41,320 --> 01:16:46,960
Although we have been informed that his
father, Mr. William Sellers also succumbed
810
01:16:47,480 --> 01:16:51,680
having come to fame some years ago
as a member of the BBC's "Goon Show"...
811
01:16:51,800 --> 01:16:53,560
- Both channels
- Mr. Sellers has enjoyed...
812
01:16:53,680 --> 01:16:55,240
an extremely successful career
813
01:16:55,360 --> 01:16:58,240
- Clear
- Still no pulse
814
01:16:58,360 --> 01:17:00,400
- Charge to two forty
- Two forty
815
01:17:04,840 --> 01:17:06,280
Clear
816
01:17:08,960 --> 01:17:11,120
Come on Peter, come on
817
01:17:54,160 --> 01:17:57,200
Please do give my regards
to your president of costumes...
818
01:17:57,320 --> 01:17:59,800
And I thought I knew something
about the movie scene
819
01:17:59,920 --> 01:18:01,640
Produce their machine
820
01:18:01,760 --> 01:18:04,000
Peter, I think you've
had a little too much...
821
01:18:04,120 --> 01:18:06,360
It is essential that we do not have fear...
822
01:18:10,560 --> 01:18:12,280
No hesitation
823
01:18:17,440 --> 01:18:19,520
Well, you've got enough for...
824
01:18:19,640 --> 01:18:22,840
Without having any more contact
825
01:18:22,960 --> 01:18:24,280
Tell the world
826
01:18:48,000 --> 01:18:50,360
Oh, it's me, right away!
827
01:18:50,480 --> 01:18:51,920
Arrgh!
828
01:19:03,160 --> 01:19:06,440
Okay, we got him back
let's get an I.V. in
829
01:19:12,880 --> 01:19:14,400
Quiet, okay?
830
01:19:19,960 --> 01:19:21,720
Hello children
831
01:19:35,920 --> 01:19:38,480
Can I have a little fairy kiss?
832
01:19:42,480 --> 01:19:47,800
The spirits have spoken
daddy's come back from the dead
833
01:19:48,440 --> 01:19:52,120
And nothing can ever hurt him again
834
01:19:59,360 --> 01:20:01,040
Peter!
835
01:20:01,680 --> 01:20:03,320
Peter?!
836
01:20:16,000 --> 01:20:17,440
Peter!
837
01:20:23,160 --> 01:20:25,040
You're still weak
838
01:20:26,480 --> 01:20:28,880
This isn't taking care of yourself
839
01:20:29,000 --> 01:20:30,760
From now on there'll
be no more characters
840
01:20:30,880 --> 01:20:32,560
No more costumes
841
01:20:35,880 --> 01:20:42,160
Starting next week, the world's gonna
get a look at the real, Peter Sellers
842
01:20:43,040 --> 01:20:45,080
What's next week?
843
01:21:14,080 --> 01:21:18,200
Who are you?
How did you get past my guards?
844
01:21:18,320 --> 01:21:20,440
Good evening, darling
my name is Bond
845
01:21:20,560 --> 01:21:24,360
James Bond, you know
846
01:21:31,400 --> 01:21:34,520
Aren't you going
to do something funny?
847
01:21:38,560 --> 01:21:42,840
- Cut!
- Cameras cut! First positions everyone!
848
01:21:43,440 --> 01:21:46,080
- How're we doing Peter?
- We're going again!
849
01:21:46,200 --> 01:21:50,480
Uhm fell free to uh, improvise
850
01:21:50,600 --> 01:21:53,080
We're doing a spoof here, remember?
851
01:21:53,200 --> 01:21:56,600
I'm playing it straight
as myself, like Cary Grant
852
01:21:59,160 --> 01:22:01,080
That's funny, yeah!
853
01:22:01,200 --> 01:22:05,000
Ha! That's, that's very good, yeah, yeah
854
01:22:05,120 --> 01:22:06,480
Satirical, yeah
855
01:22:07,840 --> 01:22:10,080
Good evening, darling
my name is Bond
856
01:22:10,360 --> 01:22:12,480
James Bond
857
01:22:20,000 --> 01:22:22,360
My God, but you're lovely
858
01:22:23,040 --> 01:22:24,920
Ouch! Shisa!
859
01:22:36,600 --> 01:22:39,920
That was great! Genius!
860
01:23:09,720 --> 01:23:12,680
Well, we meet again, I had a feeling
you wouldn't give up so easily
861
01:23:12,800 --> 01:23:16,080
Bloody Christ, when are
you coming back to the set?
862
01:23:16,200 --> 01:23:17,560
Wouldn't you like to know?
863
01:23:17,680 --> 01:23:21,720
Seeing as we're three weeks
behind schedule, yeah, I would
864
01:23:22,960 --> 01:23:27,040
You know, Joe, I think today
is not a lucky day, not lucky at all
865
01:23:27,160 --> 01:23:28,920
The voices are telling me not to risk it
866
01:23:29,040 --> 01:23:31,880
I hear voices too, Peter
867
01:23:32,000 --> 01:23:34,120
And you know what they tell me?
868
01:23:34,240 --> 01:23:37,800
They tell me that if you're
not on the set by this afternoon
869
01:23:37,920 --> 01:23:40,640
both your legs are gonna be broken!
870
01:23:43,600 --> 01:23:46,920
I don't think we're
hearing the same voices
871
01:23:49,240 --> 01:23:53,680
Peter, you wanker!
Get back here, now!
872
01:24:31,040 --> 01:24:34,880
- Hello
- Just answering nature's call
873
01:24:49,400 --> 01:24:52,160
I'm not feeling very well
874
01:24:52,440 --> 01:24:55,600
Darling, there are lots
of other bathrooms in the house
875
01:24:56,080 --> 01:24:57,920
That's not what I meant
876
01:25:00,680 --> 01:25:04,400
- What?
- I'm pregnant
877
01:25:11,040 --> 01:25:16,080
Oh, well... I suppose
you'll have to, you know...
878
01:25:16,680 --> 01:25:18,280
What?
879
01:25:18,800 --> 01:25:22,560
Well, have an abortion, sweetheart
I'm sure it can be arranged
880
01:25:22,680 --> 01:25:26,120
No, I want this child
881
01:25:26,240 --> 01:25:29,320
- I've got two already, have one of mine
- Peter
882
01:25:29,920 --> 01:25:32,960
I want to be a mother to our child
883
01:25:34,440 --> 01:25:38,600
I've always given you room
for what you needed
884
01:25:38,720 --> 01:25:41,520
- Darling, is now the right time?
- Yes
885
01:25:42,680 --> 01:25:46,680
You are healthy, we are in love
886
01:25:49,800 --> 01:25:52,400
Peter, let's have this baby
887
01:25:56,160 --> 01:25:59,680
- Bombs away
- Oh, plop
888
01:26:04,680 --> 01:26:09,520
Well, you hurry up
and I go and call mother
889
01:26:33,440 --> 01:26:35,400
Keep breathing, love
890
01:26:35,760 --> 01:26:39,880
Hospital's just up ahead, I think
891
01:26:53,840 --> 01:26:55,320
All right lads, let's give her some air
892
01:26:55,680 --> 01:26:59,160
- Britt, how are you doing?
- Oh, I'm fine
893
01:27:00,320 --> 01:27:02,520
So how does it feel the
third time around Mr. Sellers?
894
01:27:02,640 --> 01:27:04,520
Ecstatic, absolutely thrilling
895
01:27:09,320 --> 01:27:13,240
You'll be fine, just, make it quick
we start filming in a week
896
01:27:14,000 --> 01:27:15,880
- Mr. Sellers?
- Don't you worry Mrs. Sellers
897
01:27:16,000 --> 01:27:19,240
You'll be all right
we'll take care of you
898
01:27:31,120 --> 01:27:32,880
Goddamn it!
899
01:27:34,480 --> 01:27:35,800
Cut!
900
01:27:40,080 --> 01:27:42,240
Take the fucking baby
and get the hell off the set
901
01:27:42,360 --> 01:27:44,960
Peter, please, she's fine now
902
01:27:45,080 --> 01:27:47,160
- Off!
- No
903
01:27:47,560 --> 01:27:51,520
- My big scene's coming up
- Not anymore
904
01:28:00,360 --> 01:28:03,960
Fine, you do it, ciao
905
01:28:20,080 --> 01:28:23,320
- Yes?
- Is that my Peter?
906
01:28:23,840 --> 01:28:27,440
Hello, Peg
what's the news from the front?
907
01:28:28,160 --> 01:28:33,200
I'm in a hospital
it's the old heart, Peter
908
01:28:34,200 --> 01:28:36,120
Oh, well we all
know about that one, dear
909
01:28:36,240 --> 01:28:37,840
You'll be up and about in no time
910
01:28:37,960 --> 01:28:40,880
Hmm, that's not
what the doctors say
911
01:28:41,080 --> 01:28:43,000
They're just trying
to bump up their fee, Peg
912
01:28:43,120 --> 01:28:45,080
If they say you're dying and
you walk out under your own steam
913
01:28:45,200 --> 01:28:47,480
they can claim
to have saved your life
914
01:28:49,960 --> 01:28:53,360
Come home love, I need to see you
915
01:28:54,600 --> 01:28:59,880
Nonsense, Peg, all you need is a wash
and-brush-up and you'll be as good as new
916
01:29:01,480 --> 01:29:03,320
Uh, it's not like that
917
01:29:03,440 --> 01:29:06,600
- Listen...
- Just a minute
918
01:29:08,200 --> 01:29:10,880
Your boy is needed
Peg, you understand
919
01:29:11,000 --> 01:29:13,000
I'm a star now
920
01:29:13,120 --> 01:29:15,600
These people
can't do a thing without me
921
01:29:16,160 --> 01:29:19,000
It's everything you ever wanted
922
01:29:20,400 --> 01:29:23,000
I love you Peter
923
01:29:27,600 --> 01:29:31,120
I'll see you soon, we'll go to tea
924
01:29:32,680 --> 01:29:34,080
Peter?
925
01:30:06,680 --> 01:30:09,280
See how strong he was?
926
01:30:14,600 --> 01:30:19,920
Most men would have crumpled
at "I love you, Peter", but not my son
927
01:30:28,560 --> 01:30:31,480
He came through like a champion
928
01:30:38,000 --> 01:30:41,480
A star has an obligation to himself
929
01:30:42,360 --> 01:30:44,600
Family weighs you down
930
01:30:48,040 --> 01:30:50,400
You think he was cruel to me?
931
01:30:50,680 --> 01:30:54,880
Of course he was, that just
means that he'd learned his lesson
932
01:31:02,920 --> 01:31:07,680
There are no rungs for
the weak on the ladder of success
933
01:31:13,800 --> 01:31:18,280
And my Peter was a strong climber
934
01:31:44,560 --> 01:31:49,000
Real stars don't have time for tears
935
01:33:10,000 --> 01:33:12,360
Can I get you anything my darling?
936
01:33:13,160 --> 01:33:14,760
Hmm?
937
01:33:17,120 --> 01:33:22,160
Oh Peter, there's nothing
you could have done
938
01:33:24,880 --> 01:33:26,480
Mm?
939
01:33:27,120 --> 01:33:29,480
It's not your fault
940
01:33:31,840 --> 01:33:34,320
It's not your fault
941
01:33:35,520 --> 01:33:37,720
There's nothing you could have done
942
01:33:37,840 --> 01:33:42,800
- Oh, Peter, stop it
- Oh, Peter, stop it, stop it, Peter
943
01:33:43,040 --> 01:33:45,480
Christ woman
can't you say anything real?
944
01:33:45,880 --> 01:33:48,720
First of all, you
can't act, and you can't stop
945
01:33:48,840 --> 01:33:50,760
- You...
- Just shut up!
946
01:33:53,840 --> 01:33:57,960
- You bastard!
- Am I? Am I You've no idea
947
01:33:59,400 --> 01:34:02,440
- Fuck you!
- Oh, fuck you!
948
01:34:12,880 --> 01:34:15,160
You hit me with me mum
949
01:34:17,760 --> 01:34:21,840
Fuck you, Peter!
Fuck you and your mum!
950
01:34:33,440 --> 01:34:36,240
Mama, mama, ma
951
01:35:29,040 --> 01:35:30,720
Birdie, num, num
952
01:35:37,840 --> 01:35:39,240
Oh dear
953
01:35:49,800 --> 01:35:51,120
Well, Mr. Sellers
954
01:35:51,240 --> 01:35:54,560
- Hello
- Who would like to look like?
955
01:35:54,720 --> 01:35:57,360
Why Doctor, I'd like to look like you
956
01:36:05,520 --> 01:36:09,000
You know how they clean theater now?
They put on one of my films
957
01:36:09,120 --> 01:36:12,160
It's so much easier to Hoover
between the empty seats
958
01:36:12,600 --> 01:36:15,360
Now, of course, I've found
something I really want to do
959
01:36:15,480 --> 01:36:18,440
And I can't get anyone
to give me the cash
960
01:36:18,920 --> 01:36:21,800
I've read this ten
times in the last year
961
01:36:21,920 --> 01:36:27,240
The main character is a man
with no self, no discernible personality
962
01:36:28,320 --> 01:36:30,960
I find myself thinking
about this man a great deal
963
01:36:31,080 --> 01:36:35,320
- About how sad he is?
- No, about how marvelous his life must be
964
01:36:35,720 --> 01:36:39,360
He has no future
no past, no responsibilities
965
01:36:39,480 --> 01:36:40,960
He's simple
966
01:36:41,080 --> 01:36:43,920
Boring, an absolute blank
people expect nothing from him
967
01:36:44,040 --> 01:36:46,560
And then love it
when they get just that
968
01:36:48,280 --> 01:36:50,600
This is going to be my next film
969
01:36:50,960 --> 01:36:54,520
- Are you absolutely sure about that?
- Absolutely
970
01:36:55,000 --> 01:36:59,120
Cause, uh...
you do have a choice, you know?
971
01:37:00,880 --> 01:37:02,680
Have you read it?
972
01:37:02,800 --> 01:37:08,480
I've uh... I've made some notes
I think it could be very funny
973
01:37:08,720 --> 01:37:14,320
- I don't like choice, Maurice
- Ah, you're so full of doubt
974
01:37:14,880 --> 01:37:17,400
How can we make
that doubt go away?
975
01:37:17,960 --> 01:37:20,240
We know, don't we?
976
01:37:21,080 --> 01:37:22,440
Peg?
977
01:37:23,080 --> 01:37:24,920
Peg, can you hear me?
978
01:37:25,040 --> 01:37:27,000
Peg sees you, Peter
979
01:37:35,240 --> 01:37:39,480
Hello Peg, I love you Peg
980
01:37:39,800 --> 01:37:42,440
What do you need from me dear?
981
01:37:42,560 --> 01:37:48,200
I don't know what to do next
my heart's been troubling me
982
01:37:48,320 --> 01:37:50,960
And I think... I think my mind
983
01:37:51,080 --> 01:37:56,640
Shh, Peg's here
she's always with you, Peter
984
01:37:56,760 --> 01:38:00,920
Now, I've had a look
at your heart, and your heart's fine
985
01:38:01,040 --> 01:38:04,000
Now, what you need to do is work
986
01:38:04,120 --> 01:38:07,720
You give so much joy
to so many people, Peter
987
01:38:07,840 --> 01:38:10,320
I can see it from here
988
01:38:11,320 --> 01:38:14,400
Do it for me, for your mother
989
01:38:14,640 --> 01:38:17,040
Do another Pink Panther
990
01:38:18,280 --> 01:38:21,560
You sure, Peg?
Are you really sure?
991
01:38:23,480 --> 01:38:30,120
It'll be a huge hit, and that'll give
you the power to make "Being There"
992
01:38:47,320 --> 01:38:50,960
I hear this one's not
coming to a theatre near me
993
01:38:52,880 --> 01:38:56,320
The studio deemed its box
office potential as, uh, limited
994
01:38:58,280 --> 01:39:01,160
Then I suppose this
comes at just the right time
995
01:39:03,360 --> 01:39:05,480
I could never be this broke
996
01:39:07,720 --> 01:39:10,520
It wasn't easy for
me to come here, Peter
997
01:39:12,720 --> 01:39:15,040
Why? Did your
limousine break down?
998
01:39:15,400 --> 01:39:17,400
I considered making you kiss my ass
999
01:39:17,520 --> 01:39:19,600
Not after that
script's been through it
1000
01:39:20,480 --> 01:39:22,800
Still the funniest bastard around
1001
01:39:22,920 --> 01:39:25,440
Look, Peter
I didn't come here out of desperation
1002
01:39:25,560 --> 01:39:27,720
I think it's a good idea
and I can't do it without you
1003
01:39:27,840 --> 01:39:29,920
You need the money, I don't
1004
01:39:30,040 --> 01:39:33,920
And I certainly don't need the aggravation
that you are undoubtedly gonna bring me
1005
01:39:34,760 --> 01:39:37,040
What if I told you to fuck off?
1006
01:39:40,320 --> 01:39:43,400
I'd say your ex-wives will be
very disappointed in that attitude
1007
01:39:43,520 --> 01:39:44,840
Fuck my ex-wives
1008
01:39:44,960 --> 01:39:46,680
I have, now I know
why you divorced them
1009
01:39:53,400 --> 01:40:00,280
Blakey, you are the one son
of a bitch who really understands me
1010
01:40:00,400 --> 01:40:02,640
- God, I love you
- Oh, I love you, Peter
1011
01:40:02,760 --> 01:40:04,360
How sad is that?
1012
01:40:08,120 --> 01:40:10,200
This script could be terrific
1013
01:40:10,320 --> 01:40:13,120
we'll give it the Sellers Edwards touch
I've got lots and lots of ideas
1014
01:40:13,240 --> 01:40:15,520
Yeah, we, we start
shooting in six weeks
1015
01:40:17,800 --> 01:40:19,400
Better make it eight
1016
01:40:21,040 --> 01:40:24,760
- Peter?
- I'm calling the shot here
1017
01:40:54,680 --> 01:40:56,640
Dear God, I am a whore!
1018
01:40:58,680 --> 01:41:01,960
Blake, this is sure to be another stunning
success for you, how does it feel?
1019
01:41:02,080 --> 01:41:04,880
- Well deserved, I can assure you
- Thank you
1020
01:41:08,880 --> 01:41:11,440
Ah, Blakey, is it good to be on...
1021
01:41:11,600 --> 01:41:13,120
- Isn't it?
- Mm-Hmm
1022
01:41:24,360 --> 01:41:28,880
Hello my dear friends, thank
you so much for coming out tonight
1023
01:41:37,920 --> 01:41:41,280
I have something I'd
like very much to say to you all
1024
01:41:41,400 --> 01:41:43,560
We would not
all be here this evening
1025
01:41:43,680 --> 01:41:46,200
If it were not for
the efforts of one man
1026
01:41:46,440 --> 01:41:52,040
One man whose vision you'll soon
see writ large on the silver screen
1027
01:41:52,320 --> 01:41:55,680
I am, of course
referring to Mr. Blake Edwards
1028
01:41:56,480 --> 01:41:58,440
Now get him up there, folks
1029
01:41:58,560 --> 01:42:01,240
Come on, Blakie! Up you come!
1030
01:42:02,120 --> 01:42:03,520
Jolly good
1031
01:42:05,200 --> 01:42:10,440
- Come Blake, take a bow
- Thank you, thank you, thank you
1032
01:42:13,400 --> 01:42:15,840
Let me tell you something
ladies and gentlemen, about this man
1033
01:42:15,960 --> 01:42:20,120
He is absolutely talent less
1034
01:42:22,480 --> 01:42:25,200
No, but seriously
no one, and I repeat that
1035
01:42:25,320 --> 01:42:30,480
No one has managed
to do so much... having so very little
1036
01:42:31,880 --> 01:42:33,280
Come on, gimme that
1037
01:42:33,400 --> 01:42:36,000
People ask me why do I keep
compromising my artistic integrity
1038
01:42:36,120 --> 01:42:38,720
By walking in front
of Blake's camera's
1039
01:42:40,400 --> 01:42:42,400
And you know what I tell them?
1040
01:42:42,520 --> 01:42:45,680
- Money
- It's true
1041
01:42:49,240 --> 01:42:52,000
That and the knowledge that
no matter how bad the picture is
1042
01:42:52,120 --> 01:42:54,400
I'll always be the best thing in it
1043
01:42:55,600 --> 01:42:59,240
- Thank you
- Oh look, he's bashful, folks
1044
01:42:59,360 --> 01:43:00,920
Why shouldn't be he?
1045
01:43:01,040 --> 01:43:03,840
In an industry
that worships mediocrity...
1046
01:43:04,080 --> 01:43:10,320
you Blake, truly have added
new luster to the term, middling talent
1047
01:43:14,520 --> 01:43:19,040
So enjoy the show
if that's at all possible
1048
01:43:30,000 --> 01:43:36,160
I, uh... I knew we
should have gotten Ustinov
1049
01:44:24,760 --> 01:44:27,280
Good afternoon, you've
reached the home of Peter Sellers
1050
01:44:27,400 --> 01:44:29,480
Mr. Sellers is unable to take your call
at the moment
1051
01:44:29,600 --> 01:44:32,080
as he is off leading a normal life
1052
01:44:32,200 --> 01:44:35,080
Please leave your
message after the series of tones
1053
01:44:35,760 --> 01:44:39,320
Oh, hi dad, it's me
Mike, I tried you on the boat
1054
01:44:39,440 --> 01:44:41,800
But Sarah thought
you might be in Switzerland
1055
01:44:42,400 --> 01:44:44,280
Anyway, mum told
me about the operation
1056
01:44:44,400 --> 01:44:47,720
You know, the pacemaker
and everything that must be fun
1057
01:44:47,840 --> 01:44:50,600
I know how you like gadgets, ha ha
1058
01:44:51,160 --> 01:44:55,000
Well, uh... anyway
uh... I hope you're, uh, you're okay
1059
01:44:55,480 --> 01:44:58,880
Uh, right, take care dad, bye
1060
01:45:21,040 --> 01:45:23,920
I'm just an old salty sea dog
1061
01:45:43,400 --> 01:45:45,480
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay
1062
01:45:57,720 --> 01:45:59,720
Peter, are you in there?
1063
01:46:03,200 --> 01:46:06,120
Will you give me
a Goddamn break already
1064
01:46:12,280 --> 01:46:16,160
You know something Sellers?
You are a major league pain in the ass
1065
01:46:17,080 --> 01:46:19,280
Peter?
1066
01:46:29,360 --> 01:46:32,400
Was he difficult?
This was Hollywood, he was a star
1067
01:46:32,520 --> 01:46:34,280
Of course he was difficult
1068
01:46:34,400 --> 01:46:37,160
You know who's not
difficult? Troy Donahue
1069
01:46:39,080 --> 01:46:42,360
Christ, I need a smoke
1070
01:46:44,600 --> 01:46:47,840
I worked with Sellers for what?
Twenty years, on and off
1071
01:46:52,360 --> 01:46:53,680
Six movies
1072
01:46:54,960 --> 01:47:00,040
I never laughed so hard
I never cried so hard
1073
01:47:02,880 --> 01:47:04,760
The last straw?
1074
01:47:04,880 --> 01:47:06,280
There were endless last straws
1075
01:47:06,400 --> 01:47:09,840
You say, "last straw", five seconds
later, you're saying, "action"
1076
01:47:10,360 --> 01:47:12,080
I can't explain it
1077
01:47:13,000 --> 01:47:15,600
He was like watching a cobra
1078
01:47:16,520 --> 01:47:18,600
You're mesmerized
1079
01:47:21,240 --> 01:47:23,360
What did he do after me?
1080
01:47:27,280 --> 01:47:30,440
The only thing he never gave up on
1081
01:47:33,640 --> 01:47:36,240
They all want me to be a clown
1082
01:47:36,360 --> 01:47:41,160
They'll pay me millions to be a French
mustached, karate-chopping twit
1083
01:47:41,920 --> 01:47:44,080
But this is so much more
1084
01:47:45,200 --> 01:47:47,400
What do you want to do, Peter?
1085
01:47:51,520 --> 01:47:54,040
Isn't that what I just asked you?
1086
01:49:12,080 --> 01:49:13,560
Oh, shut up
1087
01:50:43,880 --> 01:50:46,040
- Yowza
- Huh?
1088
01:50:46,360 --> 01:50:49,600
Ain't you the gentleman this morning?
1089
01:50:52,320 --> 01:50:54,280
I'm gonna go now
1090
01:50:55,400 --> 01:51:00,720
- Yes
- You're gonna need somebody
1091
01:51:01,840 --> 01:51:06,400
You oughta find
yourself a lady, Chance
1092
01:51:06,760 --> 01:51:09,640
Guess it oughta be an old lady
1093
01:51:09,760 --> 01:51:13,800
Cause you ain't gonna
do a young one any good
1094
01:51:13,920 --> 01:51:17,040
Not with that little thing of yours
1095
01:51:19,640 --> 01:51:23,240
You're always gonna
be a little boy, ain't you?
1096
01:51:30,880 --> 01:51:33,080
Bye Chance
1097
01:51:44,040 --> 01:51:45,760
Bye Louise
1098
01:52:01,600 --> 01:52:05,560
Excuse me? Excuse me
aren't you Peter Sellers?
1099
01:52:07,200 --> 01:52:08,920
Yes I am
1100
01:52:09,920 --> 01:52:11,720
Would you mind?
1101
01:52:18,360 --> 01:52:21,680
Thank you, thank you very much
I mean you're, you were a...
1102
01:52:21,920 --> 01:52:24,080
the man, that's it
1103
01:53:13,960 --> 01:53:17,880
You're always gonna
be a little boy, ain't you?
1104
01:53:18,840 --> 01:53:23,600
- Bye, Chance
- Bye, Louise
1105
01:55:04,680 --> 01:55:07,920
Mr. Edwards? Pardon me
but have you seen Mr. Sellers?
1106
01:55:08,040 --> 01:55:10,400
No, and he's twenty
minutes late, did he call?
1107
01:55:10,520 --> 01:55:14,680
No, he's here
I think maybe you should see him
1108
01:55:36,680 --> 01:55:38,240
Ta-da
1109
01:55:44,360 --> 01:55:45,960
Peter?
1110
01:57:49,640 --> 01:57:51,600
You can't come in here
1111
01:57:53,640 --> 01:57:56,640
Prosubtitling
81189
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof