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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,586
Morty, hurry!
2
00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:05,005
Return the truth tortoise!
3
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:07,257
Morty, whatever you do,
don't drop the truth tortoise!
4
00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:08,425
Also really important,
5
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:10,385
whatever you do,
don't look into its eyes!
6
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:13,055
I-I did look at it, Rick!
I've been looking at it!
7
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,324
Now you're gonna know
everything, morty!
8
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,148
Good job! Way to go!
You fucked everything up!
9
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,521
It's in my head!
10
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:21,646
Ah!
11
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,862
Oh, geez, I-I can't get that
truth tortoise out of my head.
12
00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:30,781
Yeah, I told you not
to look into its eyes.
13
00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:32,926
Hey, morty, let's watch
some interdimensional cable.
14
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:33,825
Remember how we used to do that?
15
00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:35,619
Rick, I can't... I can't go on.
16
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:36,870
I-I can't go on like this
17
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:38,515
with the truth tortoise shit
in my head.
18
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:39,623
I-I wish you could just...
19
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,917
Erase the memory from your mind?
20
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,752
How did you know
I was gonna say that?
21
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,420
Come on, morty, come with me.
22
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,673
After you.
23
00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:50,509
What the hell is this?!
24
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:52,219
This, morty, is my archive
25
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,513
of all the experiences
you've begged me to remove
26
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:56,932
from your life,
lest you go insane.
27
00:00:57,057 --> 00:01:00,644
I call them
morty's mind blowers.
28
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:03,050
And we'll be doing this instead
of interdimensional cable.
29
00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:37,014
How long have I been asking you
to remove memories?
30
00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:39,349
Since the first time
your mind was blown.
31
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:40,851
Ahh, here it is.
32
00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:42,269
Classic.
33
00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:43,645
There's no dust on it because
34
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,373
this isn't the first time
we've done this.
35
00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:49,234
- What?!
- I call this one "moonspiracy"!
36
00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:57,451
Morty: Huh, wow.
That's incredible.
37
00:01:58,994 --> 00:01:59,994
What the heck?
38
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,999
Morty, do you realize
how ridiculous that sounds?
39
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,351
Yeah, pretty crazy story, morty.
40
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:06,209
Are you serious?
41
00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:08,879
Half the crap we've seen,
and you think that sounds crazy?
42
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:10,644
I've been to 300 versions
of earth's moon,
43
00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:12,549
including this one,
and I've never seen signs
44
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,635
of a "regular dude,"
as you describe him,
45
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:15,636
hanging out up there.
46
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:17,721
It's probably just
a smudge on the lens.
47
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:21,224
Smudge on the lens?
Smudge on the lens?!
48
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:23,393
I know the difference between
a man threatening me
49
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:25,437
and a smudge on
the goddamn lens, summer!
50
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,397
Morty, calm down!
Are you feeling okay?
51
00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:29,274
I'm fine!
52
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:30,901
So sensitive.
53
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:34,839
Principal vagina: Kids,
I'd like to introduce you all
54
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,783
to our new guidance counselor,
Mr. Lunas.
55
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,285
I look forward
to helping guide you all
56
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,537
towards a brighter future.
57
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,040
I believe every
student should...
58
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,459
Shoot for the moon.
59
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,757
Got you now, you son of a bitch.
60
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,303
What's this?
61
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,931
Proof that Mr. Lunas
isn't who he says he is!
62
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:02,200
He's not a guidance counselor?
63
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:05,060
I-I assume he's qualified
to be one. Who isn't?
64
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:08,271
But he also lives on the moon.
65
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:10,190
Okay.
66
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:12,776
Hmm. Is that it?
67
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,301
Is he doing anything
to hurt anyone?
68
00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:15,904
Oh, he's up to something.
69
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,323
I think I understand.
70
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,367
"Up to something,"
"lives on the moon."
71
00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:21,743
Okay, I'll talk to him.
72
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:34,965
What did he say?
73
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:37,170
Denied the moon stuff,
but that's what pedophiles do.
74
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,528
They deny.
It's their bread and butter.
75
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:39,832
- Pedophhe?
- You don't think so?
76
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,280
I thought the moon thing
might have been code.
77
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,306
No, he's literally
from the moon!
78
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:44,516
Well, you saw him react.
79
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:47,185
Moon or not,
that dude likes 'em young.
80
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:55,193
Gordon lunas was a good marine.
81
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,571
We don't know what drove him
to take his own life,
82
00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:59,531
but we want to remember
the good things.
83
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:00,907
Like how, from a certain angle,
84
00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:04,369
some people would say
he looked like a smudge.
85
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,917
Oh, my god, what have I done?
86
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,419
What have I done?
87
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,380
Jesus, I made that guy
kill himself!
88
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:16,590
Only in a literal sense.
89
00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:19,843
Here's one I call
"morty's menagerie."
90
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,112
They don't all
have titles, though.
91
00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:22,696
It's not a "Simpsons"
Halloween special,
92
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:26,224
more like a clip show made
of clips you never saw!
93
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,203
I can't believe we got
put into a menagerie.
94
00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:31,271
So this guy collects
living beings?
95
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,082
Rick: Yeah, you know like
commemorative plates,
96
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,106
but less off-putting.
97
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:36,335
You'll get it when you're still
actively dating in your 40s.
98
00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,236
Assess this with
cold indifference,
99
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:39,196
you veiny-headed prick!
100
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,531
Hey, keep it down!
101
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,283
Just our luck, menagerie beneath
102
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,327
the "Boulder people"
of granitor seven.
103
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,596
I can't take it anymore, Rick!
104
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,079
Relax, morty!
105
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:50,540
I can't relax! R-R-Rick, we...
We gotta get outta here!
106
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,209
I don't care what it takes!
Anything!
107
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:53,877
- Anything?
- Anything!
108
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:55,813
All right, well, you're gonna
have to take off your shirt.
109
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,714
Not yet. I'll tell you when.
110
00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,304
Dear god.
111
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:05,889
What?
112
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,308
The signal turned out to be...
113
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,268
There's no other way
to put it...
114
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,103
- Instructions.
- For?
115
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:15,148
A vehicle, sir,
an interstellar vehicle.
116
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,901
We'll need a pilot.
I wonder if there's a volunteer.
117
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:22,197
Oh, the schematics specify
a second, smaller pilot.
118
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,324
I mean, they really
specify smaller.
119
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,785
They have to be exactly 5'3".
120
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:29,371
Chang, you may have majored
in liberal arts,
121
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,790
but I think you're about
to make history.
122
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,409
Woman: Primary systems, check.
123
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,420
Auxiliary systems, check.
124
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:38,964
See you soon.
125
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,885
Okay, now.
126
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:46,762
Greetings.
127
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:47,806
You're... you look...
128
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:50,392
We've possessed forms
your mind can accept.
129
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,727
Here are some customary
clothing gifts.
130
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,437
Please, put them on.
131
00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:56,690
- May we?
- Of course, yes.
132
00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,275
We followed your instructions.
133
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,986
We have so much
to learn from you.
134
00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:02,529
I know, right?
135
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:11,371
Hey, how come I was able to see
those other people's memories?
136
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,164
I-I wouldn't have been
around for that.
137
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,892
Yeah, sometimes I gotta do
a little editing, morty.
138
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,084
It helps the mind blowers
139
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,809
play a little bit better
upon revisiting.
140
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:21,131
I call this one
"the whole enchilada.
141
00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:23,592
Here, morty, this'll make
your urine drinkable.
142
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,802
Now can we keep shopping?
143
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,470
I am zikzak.
144
00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:29,991
Ah, shit, morty, get behind me.
It's a fucking alien overlord!
145
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,683
It's okay. Here.
146
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,143
Oh, I misjudged.
147
00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:35,854
Morty: "I am floop floopian.
Please kill me."
148
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:36,855
That's right, morty.
149
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,608
The floop floopians achieve
an eternal orgasmic afterlife,
150
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,985
so long as they're killed
by a great warrior.
151
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,950
I'm flattered, by the way.
Thank you very much.
152
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,363
So you're gonna kill him?
153
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,198
Eh, let's get some lunch first.
154
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,413
So, you want to get shot
in the head, or...
155
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,081
Well, as long as
the wound is fatal,
156
00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:56,559
I don't really mind
where you shoot me.
157
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,023
Cool.
I'm gonna go take a quick shit.
158
00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:00,629
Well, I gotta say.
You know, I'm a little envious.
159
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,714
Your species has
an actual afterlife.
160
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,008
- That's gotta be nice.
- Wh-what do you mean?
161
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,802
Well, you know, here on earth,
w-we don't know what's going on.
162
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,072
It must be nice for you guys to,
you know, have that...
163
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,390
Have that proof's in
the pudding, you know, evidence.
164
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:17,437
Evidence?
There's supposed to be evidence?
165
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:20,023
Um, yeah, uh...
166
00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:24,110
Otherwise,
how do you know if it's true?
167
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,156
Wait, you don't...
168
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,701
All right, so you want
to do this here or outside?
169
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:34,829
Run!
170
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:37,624
I don't wanna die!
171
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,714
Oh, god, it's all real!
Oh, it hurts!
172
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,341
Oh, I shouldn't have doubted it!
173
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,343
I shouldn't have let
you make me doubt it!
174
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,054
Aah! I blame you, I blame you!
175
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,306
But he said there
wasn't any evidence!
176
00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:54,557
That was a ton of evidence!
177
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:55,683
Well, silver lining.
178
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:56,994
Now I know their
religion's real.
179
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,770
They have a hell,
and it does not look good.
180
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,814
I noticed you never finished
your Chimichanga,
181
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:03,900
so I got some room for it now,
if you know what I mean.
182
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,318
Holy shit!
183
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,588
How many of these are just
horrible mistakes I've made?
184
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,052
I mean, maybe
I'd stop making so many
185
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:10,341
if I let myself learn from them!
186
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,283
Don't break your back
creating a lesson, morty.
187
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:13,576
It's a freeform anthology.
188
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:15,346
I'm getting annoyed
you're not hearing that.
189
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,330
As you can see around me,
your mind's been blown
190
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:21,543
countless times,
and not always by yourself.
191
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,294
Ah, shit, I don't even...
192
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,772
This better not
have been a good one.
193
00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:25,672
What is this?
194
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,882
Great, "booger aids,"
"aids booger."
195
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,509
I gotta start using
real file names.
196
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,219
In the meantime,
enjoy a grab bag
197
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:35,598
of mind blowers I call
"poop aids underscore copy."
198
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:38,018
Alien warlord: I'm not
an unreasonable man, Beth Smith.
199
00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:40,270
I know children are everything
to a mammal.
200
00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,772
I will spare one of their lives.
201
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,733
You simply have to choose.
202
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,152
Summer! Summer.
203
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,383
You're not gonna believe this.
204
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:53,992
I went to Phoebe
instead of titan.
205
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:56,411
It's, like, hello, saturn,
after 10 moons,
206
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,913
time to stop naming and start
numbering, you know?
207
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,291
What's... wh-what's
with you assholes?
208
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,334
Morty, please, don't do this.
209
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,113
Your morty is gone!
210
00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:09,132
I am voltamatron,
destroyer of worlds!
211
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,617
Grandpa Rick, there must be some
scientific way to save him!
212
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,678
Not scientific,
but there may be a way.
213
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,306
Morty, I know you're in there.
It's me, your grandpa.
214
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,151
I know I can be mean,
but I love you, morty.
215
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,663
We all do.
You gotta fight this thing.
216
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,287
I know you can.
You're stronger than all of us!
217
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,646
Morty, it's mom! We love you.
You have to fight it!
218
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,232
Come on, morty!
Fight that stupid worm thing!
219
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:27,376
We love you!
220
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,610
Summer: We love you so much!
221
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,415
Rick: Yes, morty, come on,
you're doing it!
222
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,989
You're doing it!
You're doing it!
223
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,534
Should we pull it out?
224
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,995
No, don't touch it.
Just keep loving morty!
225
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,081
We still love you.
226
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,166
But I do have a thing at 6:00.
227
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,709
Oh, god, do I have to
keep looking?
228
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:47,003
Geez, morty, come on,
pinch it off already!
229
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:52,133
Don't! Oh, god, sorry, morty.
I love you!
230
00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:55,024
God, is there going to be
an intermission?
231
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,764
Excuse me, but I ordered
the large evil space worm.
232
00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,516
I know, it's like,
is that a demon slug
233
00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:01,392
in your stomach,
or are you just happy to...
234
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,269
Sorry!
235
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:06,272
Well, I guess it's nice to know
the whole family sucks!
236
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:07,774
So if the blue ones are my fault
237
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,401
and the purple ones are my
family's, what are the red ones?
238
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:13,029
Yeah, d-don't read
into it, morty!
239
00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:16,032
Ahh.
240
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,535
Shit! We need to find shelter
before the sunset, morty.
241
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,037
Venzenulon nine has a night
temperature of 300 below!
242
00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:23,081
We'll freeze, morty!
W-We'll be dead in seconds!
243
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:25,291
I-I think I saw
a cave over there.
244
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:26,602
You've seen
too many movies, morty.
245
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,379
A cave isn't gonna cut it.
We're gonna have to use beebo.
246
00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:32,048
Beebo led us to water!
He's our friend!
247
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,716
- He won't even feel it!
- Oh, no, no!
248
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,139
You wanna die, morty?
Get in beebo!
249
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,850
Oh, no, no!
250
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,060
Brace for the ice limit.
251
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,770
Here it comes!
252
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:53,361
Wait, are we on venzenulon nine
or venzenulon seven?
253
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,823
Wait a minute. Why would I ask
for that to be removed?
254
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,616
Are the red ones stuff
you wanted removed?
255
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,286
Ooh, that's clever, morty, but
I don't use color to sort things
256
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,514
because I'm not a mouse in
a European children's book.
257
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,378
Then why are all those
pink ones by the liquor?
258
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,250
Liquor?
259
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:16,634
- Shit, that was close.
- We lost captain sky.
260
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,261
He gave his life
for the uprising.
261
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,555
Yeah. It really makes
you think, huh, morty?
262
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,432
We should never take
things for granite.
263
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:24,225
- What?
- I'm just saying, life's short.
264
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,790
We shouldn't take things
for granite.
265
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,770
- Are you saying "granite"?
- Well, yeah.
266
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,689
It's "granted," with a 'd."
267
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:32,567
Take things for granted.
Did you actually think it was...
268
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,444
Jesus Christ, Rick,
269
00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,696
what are you, a Boulder...
A rock person?
270
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,257
How long have you been
saying that wrong?
271
00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:39,282
Oh, you like that, huh?
272
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,409
I b-b-bet that really
blows your mind.
273
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,869
I mean, yeah,
it's kind of great.
274
00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:45,163
- You want me to erase it?
- What, you can do that?
275
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,290
Ah, shit.
276
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,667
I fucking knew it,
you piece of shit!
277
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:52,170
You... you...
You're a fucking asshole, Rick!
278
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,005
Take it easy, morty.
Come on. Just relax.
279
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,608
No, I'm not gonna fucking relax!
Come here!
280
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:56,817
Let go of me, you little bitch!
281
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:58,027
I'm gonna grab you
by the scruff of your...
282
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,720
- Take that!
- Ohh!
283
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,555
-Umm -umm uhh.
284
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,098
- What...
- What's going on?
285
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,264
- Where am I?
- Who are we?
286
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,311
- Who am I?
- I think I'm an adolescent boy.
287
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,897
Huh, and I'm an elderly man.
288
00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:15,151
And we appear to be in some kind
of secret confined space.
289
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,820
- Yeah, umm...
- Don't look at me like that.
290
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:20,406
For all we know, you could be
the fuckin' weirdo.
291
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,494
Huh, these things are
obviously storage units,
292
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,371
and since we can't remember
what went wrong,
293
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:29,207
my guess is that the technology
involves memory
294
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:32,502
and that this thing on your head
is designed to...
295
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,212
Tell us the code, jagoff!
296
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,173
It's pointless.
He's stonewalling.
297
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,509
Rick, if we don't unlock
those vaccines, earth dies!
298
00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:41,695
You know, it might be time
to step up your interrogation!
299
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,072
Not sure what
you're implying, morty,
300
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,764
but some lines I don't cross.
301
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:46,516
Yeah, well,
I crossed every line I had
302
00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:49,060
when this bastard
tried to kill Jessica!
303
00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:54,941
Okay, see those two fleshy sacs
under his chin, morty?
304
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,067
Grab 'em.
305
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:58,403
You remember the codes now?
306
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:01,531
Twist!
307
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,992
Give us the codes, man!
Twist harder, morty!
308
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,952
Harder!
309
00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:08,288
Okay, let go, let go,
let him breathe.
310
00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:11,124
He wants to make a deal.
311
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:13,543
Half the codes now,
half after you finish.
312
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,461
But can we trust... wait, what?
313
00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:16,586
F-Finish what?
314
00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:17,671
Y-You know.
315
00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,299
I thought I was torturing him!
316
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,800
Oh, and this disappoints you?
317
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,565
Do I tell him we don't
have a deal, morty?
318
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:23,913
Because if we can
kill our enemies
319
00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:27,015
but we can't Jack them off, then
how are we better than them?
320
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,808
Well, what did you find out?
321
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:30,518
We're partners, I guess,
322
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:33,271
and we fight aliens,
like "men in black"?
323
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:34,981
"Men in black," "men in black."
324
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,524
I have "men in black 2" in here.
325
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,151
So... so you get
the general idea.
326
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:39,694
Notquhe.
327
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,588
It's basically an endless string
of callbacks to...
328
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,741
All right, save it for YouTube.
I'll keep looking for clues.
329
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:49,996
What are you doing?
330
00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:51,414
You want your shelf
level or not?
331
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:54,125
And if I say yes, you're gonna
provide that for me with that?
332
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,293
Yes, see the bubble?
333
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,003
I'm familiar with
the bubble, morty.
334
00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:58,921
I also dabble in precision,
335
00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,965
and if you think
you can even approach it
336
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,092
with your sad, naked,
caveman eyeball
337
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:05,595
and a bubble of fucking air,
you're the reason this species
338
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,120
is a failure,
and it makes me angry!
339
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,097
You're drunk.
340
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:10,016
You want to put up a shelf,
put up a shelf.
341
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,268
You want to experience
true level?
342
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:15,021
- Do you?
- Y-yes.
343
00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:26,741
Ugh, all right, come on.
344
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,916
Wow, it's so...
345
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:39,170
Oh, oh, oh, oh, my god, oh,
Christ, ooh, ooh, ooh, ahh.
346
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:41,672
Oh, yeah, true level, bitch.
347
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:44,008
Morty, come on,
we're leaving for school.
348
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,677
Oh, everything's crooked!
Reality is poison!
349
00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:48,043
I want to go back! I hate this!
350
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,323
- What's his deal?
- Can't live like this!
351
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:51,015
Shh, shh, shh, shh, morty,
morty, morty.
352
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,980
Go to school, summer.
I'll go in morty's memory
353
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,435
and do a little...
354
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,813
Lambs to the cosmic slaughter!
355
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,189
Well?
356
00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:01,526
You seem to be in charge
of what I get to remember.
357
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:03,569
- Why?
- Good question.
358
00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:07,323
Morty, I need darkness to prime
these optical inductors.
359
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,700
Hit the leftmost light switch
by the door for me.
360
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:10,826
Thelefl.
361
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,627
Okay, lights on.
362
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:24,090
So, did I just hear three
distinct light switch clicks?
363
00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:25,508
W-W-What do you mean?
364
00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,694
I feel like the three sounds
I heard could be explained
365
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:30,513
by an initial erroneous flipping
of a switch on the right
366
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:32,473
followed by a hasty,
corrective flipping
367
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:33,641
of the requested switch.
368
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,436
Then during the resultant
darkness and silence, a third,
369
00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:39,522
shameful unflipping of
the initially flipped switch.
370
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,441
Is my assessment accurate?
371
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:44,902
Yeah, that's... that's basically
how... how it all shaked out.
372
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:48,156
- I'm sorry.
- Ugh. All right, come on.
373
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,450
- What?!
- Come on!
374
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,132
Grab a shovel.
375
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:07,383
W-What is...
376
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,510
Grab a shovel!
377
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,264
What was that?
378
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:18,352
I can't find a goddamn
zip tie anywhere!
379
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,605
All right, fuck it!
380
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,861
Ahh, zip tie.
381
00:16:44,045 --> 00:16:45,689
Why are you making me
do this for you again?
382
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:48,090
Who doesn't wish they could
talk to animals, Rick?
383
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:49,467
Most humans!
384
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,469
There, I'm done.
Just stay out of trouble!
385
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,263
Gotta keep moving. Can't stop.
386
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:56,432
Up, down, down, up, up, up,
down, up, stop, down.
387
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,118
The queen needs food.
The babies need food.
388
00:16:58,142 --> 00:16:59,685
The queen makes babies.
389
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,188
Male voice:
The situation in Argentina
390
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,707
has proven less convenient
than predicted.
391
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,983
We'll have to re-destabilize
their economy,
392
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,402
refocus labor class outrage
from upper to middle,
393
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,488
foster a coup, and install
a compliant regime.
394
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:11,489
Male squirrel:
Same as Guatemala?
395
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:12,894
Yes, but you can double-time it.
396
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,259
We need a quorum
to pick a new pope
397
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,827
in case the exxon/monsanto thing
falls through in Africa.
398
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,413
Why not use chemtrails?
Put a canopy on Uganda.
399
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,332
They're set to agitate
any mo... what?
400
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,167
That kid is watching us.
401
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:24,877
So, we're squirrels. He's a kid.
402
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:28,047
He's watching us like he hears
what we're saying.
403
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:30,675
Hey, kid. Young man?
Come here, little boy.
404
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,386
Tell Daphne to run a 199
on a possible dolittle.
405
00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:36,347
Little boy! We'll give you
wishes if you can hear us!
406
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,391
We can make you fly
and get candy.
407
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,985
Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!
Fuck me! Fuck me!
408
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:51,445
Rick!
409
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,739
Rick: Ah, shit, morty,
what did you do?
410
00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:58,494
[ Zap! I
411
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,580
All right, morty,
pack your shit!
412
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,808
That's only gonna keep 'em down
for a little bit, morty!
413
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,166
You fucked with
squirrels, morty!
414
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:05,501
We got a good five minutes
415
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:07,420
before they're backing up
on our ass, morty!
416
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,672
We have to pack up and move
to a new reality, morty!
417
00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:12,258
You know I said we could
only do that a couple of times!
418
00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:15,344
We're fucked over here because
of these damn squirrels, morty!
419
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,305
I don't know what
my reaction is,
420
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,016
but I think I'm mounting
in suspicion of you.
421
00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,536
- Well, what are you gonna do?
- I'm gonna remember everything!
422
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,560
Everything!
423
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:33,487
Yeah!
424
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:41,870
Ah!
425
00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,468
Well, what'd you find out?
426
00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,762
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what
are you gonna do, kill me?
427
00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:00,723
No, I'm not gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill myself!
428
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:02,516
All those memories just erased!
429
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,226
Sitting in this room
collecting dust!
430
00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:07,146
W-What's the point of going on
if most of everything
431
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,940
that happens just ends up
sitting in here?
432
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:12,318
All right, kid.
433
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:14,421
I don't know much aside from
the fact that "men in black 2"
434
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:17,573
was a joyless cash grab, but I
do know that whatever you have
435
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,950
brewing around in your noggin
really connected with you.
436
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,077
I can't deny that,
437
00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:23,621
and I can't deny that I'm
inspired by your passion.
438
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,623
I want in. Suicide pact!
439
00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:27,667
Yes, yeah, let's do it!
440
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:30,336
Together, you old
son of a bitch! On three!
441
00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:31,587
One...
442
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:32,838
Two...
443
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:36,008
You guys doing
morty's mind blowers?
444
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:37,843
Morty's mind blowers?
445
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,262
Grandpa,
is this a scenario three?
446
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:42,723
Uh, w-what's that,
and w-who are you?
447
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:45,685
Oh, man, it's a scenario four.
448
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:04,662
Ugh, fucking god damn it!
449
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,580
I don't get paid enough
for this shit!
450
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:10,668
There's a craftsman nearby.
I can smell it.
451
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:13,045
Whoa, what... what...
452
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:14,170
Can I help you?
453
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,924
H-How did we fall asleep during
interdimensional cable?
454
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,777
- Yeah, what the hell, summer?
- Summer, you dumb bitch!
455
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:20,028
How long were we out,
you dumb bitch!
456
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,071
How much interdimensional cable
did we miss, you stupid bitch!
457
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,989
How many improv TV shows with
commercials did we miss, summer?
458
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,116
Why did you let us fall asleep?
459
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:25,492
- You dumb bitch!
- You stupid bitch!
460
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:26,827
All right, morty,
fuck this noise.
461
00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:28,412
Let's get out of here
and go on a classic
462
00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:31,063
- Rick and morty adventure.
- Yeah, right, Rick, I'm all-in.
463
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,149
No wonder you're
constantly fighting
464
00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:34,859
with each other
and behind schedule.
465
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:36,485
- What?
- Nothing.
466
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,264
Rick? Hello?
467
00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:06,849
Just here for my putter.
468
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,435
Jerry's mind blowers?
469
00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:14,732
Follow the boys!
470
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:21,530
We're charged and aimed
at Alpha centauri,
471
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:23,532
ready for transport.
472
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,951
They fell for it!
Let's send gobo home!
473
00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:27,453
All right!
474
00:21:27,578 --> 00:21:29,538
- Where's dad?
- He should be here any second.
475
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:31,516
It's funny, Jerry spent his life
seeking attention,
476
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,709
but in the end, humanity's
instinctive dismissal of him
477
00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,127
saved an alien's life.
478
00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:36,962
He knows where to go, right?
479
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:38,881
Yep, any minute now.
480
00:21:43,177 --> 00:21:45,054
Did it work?
Did you guys get gobo home?
481
00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:47,460
You have gobo! You were supposed
to bring him to the hill!
482
00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:49,141
As if. He was in your basket.
483
00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:50,851
He was in your car!
484
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:56,648
Oh!
485
00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:58,609
Oof! Dibs on his stuff.
34638
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