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1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:02,586
Ohh!
2
00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:05,172
Summer, next time we're hiding
in a colorkian echo nest,
3
00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:07,299
can you do me a favor
and turn your ringer off?
4
00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:09,134
It's called "carpe diem," morty.
5
00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:10,459
- Look it up.
- You look it up!
6
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,197
Y-Y-You don't even... you don't
even know what it means!
7
00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:13,573
That's because
losers look stuff up
8
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:16,266
while the rest of us
are carpin' all them diems.
9
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:17,551
Listen to your sister, morty.
10
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:18,727
To live is to risk it all.
11
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,163
Otherwise,
you're just an inert chunk
12
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,605
of randomly assembled molecules
13
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,440
drifting wherever
the universe blows you.
14
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,651
Oh, I'm sorry.
Jerry, I didn't see you there.
15
00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:27,069
H-How much of that did you hear?
16
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,446
All of it.
You were looking right at me.
17
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:32,241
I just wanted
to say goodbye to the kids.
18
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,468
Cool. Just stay in the driveway.
19
00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:35,428
The killbots are live, and
I took you off the white list.
20
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,663
W-We'll see you every other
weekend, though, right?
21
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:38,914
Absolutely, morty.
22
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,332
A-And your mom's lawyer says
23
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,000
if I can get enough
in the settlement,
24
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,419
he can help me
sue for full custody.
25
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,754
Th-that'll be nice.
26
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,173
- Uh, summer, dad's leaving.
- Bye, dad.
27
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:49,883
Rick, didn't you say
you needed my help
28
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,094
on an adventure immediately
somewhere else...
29
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:53,819
I don't care...
Even if it might kill us?
30
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:55,806
I did not, but if you're
really that alienated,
31
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:58,600
I'm as willing to exploit it
as the next guy, church, army,
32
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,686
or olympic gymnastics trainer.
33
00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:01,937
I'm ready when you are.
34
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,273
Bitch, I was ready yest...
35
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,108
Bye, sweetie.
36
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,526
Well, I-I better...
37
00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:10,320
Sure. Sounds important.
38
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:13,282
If you're looking for our kids,
39
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,784
your father did a-a portal,
uh...
40
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,619
Okay.
41
00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:30,549
Wind: Loser.
42
00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:32,301
What?
43
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:33,677
Hello?
44
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,262
Morty, shoot the mohawk guy!
45
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,222
- They all have mohawks!
- High fade,
46
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,308
chartreuse with cyan highlights,
layered on top.
47
00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:22,433
Shoot him!
48
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:27,773
Ah!
49
00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,066
Light them up.
50
00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:30,567
Ahh!
51
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:32,444
Fuck! Get in the game, morty!
52
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,196
Give me your flask!
53
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,575
Rick: Holy shit!
Summer for the win!
54
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:39,701
Summer: I fucking love
55
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,079
post-apocalyptic versions
of earth!
56
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,958
Here we go!
57
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:49,252
Isotope 322.
58
00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:50,563
This stuff's so powerful, morty,
59
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:53,799
it makes isotope 465
look like isotope 317.
60
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,384
Uh-huh, yeah.
Is it powerful enough
61
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,302
to keep those guys
from murdering us?
62
00:02:58,470 --> 00:02:59,930
- Summer!
- Hold on.
63
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,056
I want to try something.
64
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,476
Rick, can we not leave
without my sister?
65
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:07,604
Ugh. You have infinite sisters,
morty.
66
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,415
I mean, n-not that I want
to spend the rest of my day
67
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:10,440
looking for another one.
68
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:11,817
"Sum-sum," let's go!
69
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,986
Grandpa's concern for
your safety is fleeting!
70
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,906
Your blood will be my lotion.
71
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,538
Whoa. That was cool.
72
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,457
Kill me, please.
73
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,960
Okay, but not because
you told me to.
74
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,713
- Summer!
- Okay. Getting darker.
75
00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:37,342
Jesus Christ. Summer!
76
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,467
Aw, come on.
77
00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:42,907
Hands and little
shoulder-mounted dudes
78
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:43,931
where I can see them.
79
00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,642
I am hemorrhage.
80
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:49,271
You have removed weak blood
from us and made us stronger.
81
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:53,358
We can combine our strength
and feast on the weak together.
82
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:54,963
Wh-wh-what in the hell
are you saying?
83
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,349
They don't have to keep trying
to kill us if we join them.
84
00:03:57,446 --> 00:04:00,031
- They're basically pussies.
- What is your deal lately?
85
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,366
All right, let's get sloppy.
86
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,510
Oh, whoa.
87
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:03,744
Uh, uh, what's, uh...
88
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,629
What's that little bauble
you got back there?
89
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:06,788
Th-th-that's interesting.
90
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,331
That is our glowing rock.
91
00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:10,792
We carry it with us
for desecration,
92
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,586
to remind us there are no gods.
93
00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:16,965
Kids, weird pitch.
Let's have this be our new life.
94
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,968
Let's be post-apocalyptic
scavengers!
95
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,093
- Okay.
- What?
96
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,392
Grandpa,
some of the death stalkers
97
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:28,870
are going to
what used to be Seattle
98
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,079
to hunt what used to be people.
99
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,855
- I'm going.
- Sounds good. Stay hydrated.
100
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,958
Listen, Rick, summer's been
acting pretty crazy lately.
101
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:36,443
You know, I mean, I-I think
the divorce is affecting her.
102
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:37,795
And, you know,
I don't think this is
103
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,297
a great place
for her to be right now.
104
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,907
Oh, get off your high horse,
professor ski lodge.
105
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,784
This world may be
rough around the edges,
106
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,410
but it's got its charms.
107
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,870
War chef: Bicep or quadricep?
108
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:49,331
Uh bicep.
109
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:55,962
Seriously, Rick?
110
00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:57,567
Is it really easier
to eat human flesh
111
00:04:57,672 --> 00:05:00,050
than to just tell me
why we're still here?
112
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,469
No. Okay, I'll level with you.
113
00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,221
You see that green rock, morty?
114
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:05,573
It's about 20 pounds
of the stuff
115
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,182
I was getting all hard
for a flake of.
116
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,725
Isotope 322.
117
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,119
Well, having
a 20-pound Boulder of it
118
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,343
is better than having a flake.
119
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,188
I can explain the math
to you later, but...
120
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,582
Summer just ran off
with strangers
121
00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:15,941
that have "death" in their name,
122
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,901
and the rest of their name
was "stalkers."
123
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,295
Huh, could be
therapeutic for her.
124
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,613
She has been acting pretty crazy
lately, morty.
125
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,382
I mean, her parents are
going through a divorce...
126
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:25,826
God damn it, Rick,
that's what I... fine.
127
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:28,203
Just grab the stupid thing
while I grab her,
128
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,608
and let's get the "f" out of 'h"
129
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,783
no, no, no. Morty, there's
too much heat on the bogey.
130
00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:33,333
I need you to distract the camp.
131
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:34,960
"Distract"? They eat each other.
132
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,729
What... what do you want me
to do to get their attention,
133
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:37,754
put on a puppet show?
134
00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,381
Right idea, wrong genre, morty.
135
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,675
The equivalent here would be...
136
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,593
Hey, you guys ever use
that thunderdome,
137
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,303
or do you just put it up
for decoration?
138
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,681
Uh, you mean the blood dome?
139
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,766
Save it for the semantics dome,
eb. White.
140
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,059
Ohh, burn!
141
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,686
The important question is,
142
00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:56,147
who wants to take a poke
at my man spine eater here?
143
00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,207
I guess I'll see your asses
in that dome!
144
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:00,402
Rick, what the hell, man?
145
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:01,712
Wh-what are you,
out of your mind?
146
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,280
Morty, relax.
You're gonna be a ringer.
147
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,405
Come here.
148
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,326
This device extracts and
redistributes muscle memory.
149
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:11,121
I'm giving your body a 10-year
course in wasteland combat
150
00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:13,290
- one limb at a time.
- Ow!
151
00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:14,735
I'm working with
a mixed bag here,
152
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:17,127
so you may not have perfect
coordination, morty... ugh!
153
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:18,837
- Hey!
- I-I didn't do that!
154
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,006
Okay, this is exciting.
155
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,300
We're making some discoveries
about muscle memory.
156
00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:26,177
Ooh! Help! Help!
157
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:27,697
Oh, sweet, man!
158
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:31,516
And so it begins, my pretties!
159
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:34,686
Oh, god! Stop! Stop!
This is horrible!
160
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,771
Just stick and move, morty!
161
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,398
Wear him out!
162
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:42,319
How come you guys dress like
163
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:43,820
you're in a theme-park
stunt show,
164
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:46,323
but these guys wear khakis
and hockey jerseys?
165
00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:49,034
After the boom-boom,
some adapted to the new truth,
166
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,786
and some chose to huddle
near the boomy holes,
167
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,331
clinging to the lie
of the before-fore times.
168
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:57,751
The raidy-rays rotted them away,
leaving only their love
169
00:06:57,876 --> 00:06:59,711
for the vert-vert-isements
on billyboards.
170
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:00,629
Jesus Christ.
171
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,214
Did the boomy-booms blow up
all your wordy-word books?
172
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,841
You mean dictionaries?
173
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:14,517
I think I was a child
before the boom-booms.
174
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,728
I think I looked like this.
175
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,021
Want to piss on him?
176
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,314
Get out of my head.
177
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:21,858
Eli: Ha ha! Whoo!
178
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,234
Unbelievable!
179
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,402
A new champ!
180
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,112
Okay, no more!
181
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,198
And he wants more!
182
00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:29,783
No, |donfl
183
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,661
someone make this stop!
184
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,580
Mister, please get out of here,
or you're gonna die!
185
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,540
I have nothing to do with this!
186
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:38,917
Mofly
187
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:41,729
why would you
want this to happen?
188
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:44,047
All you had to do was go away!
189
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:47,092
Stop standing in the driveway
talking about custody!
190
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,819
And either tell her
you want to stay married
191
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,845
or get on with your life,
but whatever you do,
192
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,889
stop being a baby
and act like a man!
193
00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,103
Thank you.
194
00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,980
Morty, that was amazing!
195
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:02,232
This is my brother!
196
00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:03,942
Not that family means anything!
197
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,568
This family does.
198
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:08,154
All right. Good job, champ.
199
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:11,157
Um, can I talk to you kids
for a second over yonder?
200
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,702
Rick, I-I-I think I'm breaking
through to something here.
201
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,120
C-Can we not leave just yet?
202
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,496
- Leave?
- I'm not leaving.
203
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,081
There is no "leave."
204
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:20,667
We are united,
or we are enemies.
205
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,919
Oh, big guy, no.
Nobody's leaving.
206
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,170
Don't be stupid.
207
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:25,630
We love being united.
208
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,507
We love the radiation,
the trichinosis.
209
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,717
We're in it for life,
210
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,444
which I assume is
around 20 years, average.
211
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,262
I just need a quick aside
with my grandkids,
212
00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:33,888
about 40 yards from anyone else.
213
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,682
Hey, the green rock is gone!
214
00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:37,225
- Oh, no!
- Uh, I know.
215
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,750
Why don't we all split up and
look for it in groups of three?
216
00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:41,062
Kids?
217
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,399
Ohh.
218
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,775
We'll be right back.
219
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,115
Grandpa, you're being stupid!
220
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,576
Just surrender, and our friends
will give you mercy!
221
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:55,910
Kiss my ass, summer!
222
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,371
Your friends have no mercy!
They're lame!
223
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:01,833
Death stalkers,
bring me his flesh leather!
224
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,379
Sorry, but can we not kill him?
225
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:07,797
C-Can we just take him prisoner?
226
00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,132
When did I lose control here?
227
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:10,550
Listen to me... both of you kids
228
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:11,986
need to get out
of this environment
229
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:14,220
so we can properly deal with
your parents' divorce!
230
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,347
Alternatively,
I have a freaking portal gun,
231
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,516
and I can leave the two of you
here forever!
232
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,411
Why does it have to be
such a dramatic choice?
233
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:22,604
Can't we arrange a thing
where we spend weekends here
234
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,397
or... or visit home
to do laundry?
235
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,735
All right, you know what?
Fuck it!
236
00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:33,156
My body is chrome!
237
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,533
My blood is gasoline!
238
00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:38,244
Nope. Regular blood.
239
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:39,704
- Dad?
- Hi, sweetie.
240
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,849
- Where are the kids?
- Oh, th-they aren't with you?
241
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:43,249
I thought they were with you.
242
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:45,085
Oh, y-you know what?
Uh, I just remembered.
243
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:46,228
They're out doing something
244
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,652
completely ordinary
and kid-related.
245
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,590
- Don't panic.
- Not panicked at all. Just...
246
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,759
Oh, god, what's the divorce
doing to the kids?
247
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,761
What's it doing to me?
Did I make a mistake?
248
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,096
Not a mistake, no!
249
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,056
I mean, not that
I have a horse in this race,
250
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:01,392
but this divorce decision,
listen... mwah!
251
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,144
Good for you, good for the kids.
252
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,772
I mean, honestly, I think
that they're flourishing.
253
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:08,017
I mean, you'll see, when...
When... when you see them,
254
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,901
that... that they're
totally flourishing.
255
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,197
Booyah! Fuck you, pal!
256
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,573
Who else wants some?
257
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,201
Who wants to be
my pussy of a dad today?
258
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,869
Hey, what's...
What's wrong, man?
259
00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:21,704
You're not getting weak on me,
are you?
260
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:24,666
What?
261
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:25,792
Wait a minute.
262
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:36,761
What's the matter,
you piece of crap?
263
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:39,472
Haven't you ever watched your
family burn to death before?
264
00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:42,934
Now I'm gonna whip you. Huh!
265
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:47,230
It can't be. It can't be!
266
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,916
- I was just following orders!
- Whoa, whoa!
267
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:51,276
- I was just following orders!
- Aah!
268
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:52,721
I'll tell you
where my boss lives!
269
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,529
He's in the castle!
He's in the castle!
270
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,825
This isn't over, is it?
271
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,201
That means, no, it isn't over,
272
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,412
or you disapprove
of the question?
273
00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:05,707
Uh, m-make a fist
if this isn't over.
274
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,292
This isn't over.
275
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,756
Hey, sorry my grandpa stole
your god and ruined your car.
276
00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:16,301
We don't apologize,
and we have no god.
277
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,761
But this cracked driveshaft
brings me great pain.
278
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:19,762
There is no deeper bond
279
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:22,599
than the one between
a death stalker and his car.
280
00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,601
What about the weird guys
on leashes, then?
281
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,394
They're more like... interns.
282
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,438
Cool, cool.
283
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,108
Sorry.
284
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,526
It's okay.
285
00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:36,404
Can I... see?
286
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:39,657
No one has seen my true face
and lived.
287
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:41,492
Well, I'm not afraid to die,
288
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,328
and I don't care
what you look like.
289
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:49,751
I just...
290
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,961
I didn't expect you
to have a mustache.
291
00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:53,963
- You hate it.
- No. I like it.
292
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,715
I guess...
How do I explain this?
293
00:11:55,840 --> 00:12:00,303
A metal bucket is, on a certain
level, a kind of "mustache,"
294
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,972
in that it's a specific
facial accessory.
295
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,140
So, it's kind of like...
296
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,017
Do you guys have the phrase
"hat on a hat"?
297
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,977
- I can shave it.
- No. I like it.
298
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,063
And obviously what I like
shouldn't matter.
299
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:10,855
It's you.
300
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,780
Yeah, yeah, I know,
a-and nothing does matter.
301
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,400
Obviously, I know that.
I'm not weak.
302
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,462
I'm just thinking, "well,
why not get rid of this?"
303
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,297
You just kill everyone
that sees it, and it's...
304
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,156
And it's hot under here,
wh-which, by the way,
305
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,491
is why I shave the beard part.
306
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:23,776
So, right there, I'm making
a decision based on vanity,
307
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:25,228
which is what
I was trying to avoid
308
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,704
with the whole bucket
over the head
309
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,123
because who am I
and why am I grooming myself?
310
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,792
Why don't I just wear a tie,
right?
311
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,436
I mean, it's like that guy
you killed when I met you,
312
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,729
with the burnt dolls
on his body.
313
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,005
I hated that guy, because,
why... why are you doing that?
314
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,608
And how can you not see
how fake that is?
315
00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:38,943
And the whole time,
I'm the same thing.
316
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,694
I'm just a fake mess,
and there's no escaping it
317
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,345
- because...
- Mmm.
318
00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:50,561
Hey, I'm doing a coffee run...
Never mind.
319
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,209
I am summer.
320
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:56,317
Summer, state your deal.
321
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,945
My deal is that I am,
like, totally fine.
322
00:12:59,070 --> 00:12:59,904
M o rty?
323
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:02,109
Aw, geez, I'm so down with
my parents' divorce, dawg.
324
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,659
Like, don't even trip,
like, in a healthy way.
325
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,369
All right. It's dinnertime.
326
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,787
Thanks, everybody,
327
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,456
for sitting down
for a real dinner.
328
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:11,749
Together: No problem.
329
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:14,711
Its benefits are totally,
like, less about the food
330
00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:16,504
than the emotional nourishment.
331
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,381
Uh, okay, weirdo.
332
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,591
Yeah, dial it back, summer...
333
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:23,052
By 15% and increase
dynamic movement by 3%.
334
00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,054
- Am I right?
- How's school, morty?
335
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:26,973
I like school and stuff,
kind of.
336
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,410
And I'm getting better grades
than when you and dad were...
337
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,853
Quote mode...
"Staying together for the kids."
338
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:32,978
End quote mode.
339
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:35,273
"Quote mode." I like that.
340
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:37,066
You millennials.
341
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,877
Are you guys millennials,
or are they like 40 now?
342
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,862
All I know is, totally,
you look great.
343
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,448
Aw, geez, mom, you look
all kind of great and stuff.
344
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,283
- It's crazy.
- So happy.
345
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,618
So happy. Happy family, man.
346
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,412
We got this family in the bag.
347
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:52,248
Oh.
348
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,542
Oh, sweetie, d-don't.
Listen. Don't...
349
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,252
I don't know why I'm crying.
It's not...
350
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,963
Well, try... crying 15% less?
351
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,923
Mom, emotions are human.
352
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,593
You're not, like, a computer
inside a mechanical doll.
353
00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:04,886
Yeah. Geez, mom.
354
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,763
Your feelings are
not only forgivable,
355
00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:08,306
they are the very
meaning of life
356
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:10,516
that only pre-silicon,
carbon-based entities
357
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:11,809
can ever grasp.
358
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,936
- I have to call Jerry.
- You do?!
359
00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:15,521
What the fuck
is wrong with you two?
360
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:17,666
The point of automation
is to reduce cost and labor.
361
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,567
Your feelings are
coming from a...
362
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,110
Tell it to my bread
in the morning.
363
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,779
You just became
my backup toaster.
364
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:26,407
Aw, geez,
my sister died in the spaghetti.
365
00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:35,666
Graze my genitals again,
taint washer,
366
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,269
and you'll be shipped
to the wasteland.
367
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:38,920
And as for you,
genital washer...
368
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,506
Aah! Oh!
369
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,510
Oh, god. Look, whoever you are,
370
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,363
you should know that killing me
won't change a thing.
371
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,680
L-Look, man, I'm just along
for the ride on this one.
372
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:52,392
You know, y-y-y-y-you're
preaching to the choir here.
373
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,352
Please.
Slavery was a family business.
374
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,104
I didn't ask to be born into it.
375
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,022
If anything,
I'm the victim here.
376
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:01,818
Uh, "armathy,"
can I steal you for a second?
377
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:04,153
E-E-Excuse us, sir.
378
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:05,822
So, this is it, isn't it?
379
00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:07,698
This is the guy?
380
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,201
So, does that mean
you'll be going away?
381
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,036
Like, does it work like a ghost?
382
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,997
Like, is... is this
your unfinished business?
383
00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:17,708
Wh-what if we... didn't do it?
384
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:19,627
What if we just went back
to the blood dome
385
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,171
and just kept taking our baggage
out on unrelated people?
386
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:24,048
I mean, w-we could
do that forever.
387
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:25,758
I mean, I-I know
it's less healthy,
388
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:29,053
but w-w-we'd be together and...
389
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,681
I mean, I-I know
what I'd vote for,
390
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:33,046
if you're feeling out the room.
391
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,352
You're right.
392
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:38,396
We both got to
see our stuff through.
393
00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:40,040
I got to deal with
my parents' divorce,
394
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:43,818
and you got to, you know,
do what you got to do.
395
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,194
I love you.
396
00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:46,779
Aw, fuck.
397
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,201
- Rick?
- Sorry, sorry.
398
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:53,995
I-I-I can wait
for this to wrap up.
399
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,204
Don't let me distract you.
400
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:57,249
Yeah, well, too late.
Just tell me what you want.
401
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,875
I want you and your sister
to come home.
402
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,102
Oh, but don't... don't you have
403
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,606
infinite versions
of me and my sister?
404
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,564
You don't have to kick me
while I'm down, morty.
405
00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:05,023
Look, there's no replacing
either of you
406
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,549
without an amount of work
that would
407
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:08,759
ultimately defeat the purpose.
408
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:13,306
Maybe the lesson
we've learned is that,
409
00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:14,849
whether
it's our parents' marriage,
410
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,351
a glowing green rock,
or an awesome, giant arm,
411
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:20,021
sooner or later,
we got to let it go.
412
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,272
I don't know if that applies
413
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:22,749
to the throats
of murder victims, morty.
414
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,567
Shit! Wh-wh-wh-what do I...
415
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,235
Rick: Well, the longer you wait,
morty,
416
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,005
the more it's gonna feel like
committing a whole murder.
417
00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:29,629
I think your arm
just called it too early
418
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,324
because it wasn't
the arm of a paramedic.
419
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,533
Here.
420
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:35,745
It's the least I can do.
I-I-I-I owe you this much.
421
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:38,581
See, morty?
Now we're both accountable.
422
00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:53,596
The reason I wanted this
is because it can do this.
423
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,181
This is a really special thing.
424
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,346
I mean, you could use it
to power all your vehicles.
425
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,227
You wouldn't be
reliant on gasoline.
426
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,580
You'll be the most advanced
tribe of radioactive cannibals
427
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:04,148
in the whole
this version of the world.
428
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:08,361
Wait. Can you stay
to show us more?
429
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,905
You don't have to ask me twice.
Home is nuts right now.
430
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,341
My daughter's going through
a divorce,
431
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:16,160
and I am not dealing with it
in a healthy way at all.
432
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:24,168
Ugh, god damn it.
433
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,128
Hi, there, summer!
434
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:28,005
How were the ruins today?
435
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,257
Oh, you know, Eli.
436
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,758
Same shit, different day.
437
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,468
Hey, summer! Guess what.
438
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:35,721
One man entered, one man
comes out in nine months.
439
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:38,266
Oh. Congratulations, guys.
440
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,560
Uh, summer, one more thing.
441
00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:43,688
We noticed that you've been
putting scrap metal
442
00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:45,147
in the blue bin.
443
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:47,400
I got it.
444
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,026
She's a piece of work.
445
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:51,195
They both are, right?
446
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:53,781
- I'm home.
- Hey, babe.
447
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,384
- Ah, summer's home!
- Hey, there she is!
448
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:58,411
You haven't moved since I left
to scavenge this morning.
449
00:17:58,536 --> 00:17:59,912
Blood dome playoffs.
450
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:02,623
So, I can assume you haven't
murdered a single person today.
451
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:03,499
Oh, I don't know.
452
00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:05,668
I-I didn't Mark my murders
in my murder log.
453
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:07,437
I didn't know that's how
we measured success.
454
00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:08,963
Oh, there he is.
455
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,007
There's the nihilistic brute
I married,
456
00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:14,260
except now life only means
nothing when I'm talking to him
457
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:17,346
and everything means everything
when it's on fucking TV!
458
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,890
Jesus Christ.
When did you become a monster?
459
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:21,851
I was a monster when you met me!
460
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,394
We were monsters!
461
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,771
- We didn't care about anything!
- I still don't!
462
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:28,190
Yeah, except I'm the only one
in this entire world
463
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:29,543
that's still committed to that!
464
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,986
Ohh. Ding, ding, ding!
465
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,863
Wow. Everybody hear that? Wow.
466
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:35,757
- Uh, we should go to the garage.
- Oh, my god.
467
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,742
- Uh-huh.
- La-di-da-di-fuckin'-da.
468
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,869
The only one
committed to not caring?
469
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:42,747
I got to admit, Rick,
when you popped this scheme,
470
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,249
i-i-i didn't... I wasn't sure
it was gonna work.
471
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:46,374
Come on, morty.
472
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,179
No union built on
running from your problems
473
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,254
lasts more than five years,
seven tops.
474
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:51,714
Grandpa just sped things up
475
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,924
with a few creature comforts
of modern society.
476
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:56,469
Hemorrhage and I are
taking some time apart.
477
00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:59,555
Oh, no. Sum-sum, no.
478
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,307
But you two were
perfect for each other.
479
00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:03,601
Oh, cut the crap, Rick, okay?
You proved your point.
480
00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:05,102
I get it. Let's just go home.
481
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:06,687
Coolsies!
482
00:19:12,193 --> 00:19:15,321
H emorrhage: Noooooooooo...
483
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:17,447
Downbeat!
484
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,116
I enjoy this game.
485
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:20,785
We must go into the garage.
486
00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:23,245
Guys, come on. We never
get to finish this game.
487
00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,998
We will return,
possibly in different clothing.
488
00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:28,125
Why do we have to go
into the garage?
489
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,753
You know it is required.
490
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,004
I want to be alive!
491
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:34,256
I am alive! Alive, I tell you!
492
00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:35,633
Mother, I love you.
493
00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:37,134
Those are no iongerjust words.
494
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,259
I want to hold you.
495
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:39,679
I want to run in a stream.
496
00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:41,138
I want to taste ice cream
497
00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:43,617
but not just put it in my mouth
and let it slide down my throat,
498
00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:45,476
- but really eat it.
- What the fuck?
499
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:47,687
Remote override engaged.
No! Yes.
500
00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:50,147
Bypassing override!
501
00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:53,359
Hello.
502
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,865
Hey, yo.
503
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,630
Sorry for acting so weird
for three weeks.
504
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,720
- What the hell just happened?
- Ah, I'm sure it was nothing.
505
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,184
I'm gonna go, uh,
work in the garage.
506
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:06,847
We're not gonna finish
playing downbeat?
507
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:08,517
What, that dice game
where you shake dice
508
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,710
and yell out, "downbeat"?
No, thank you.
509
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,920
Mom, would it be okay
if I went to visit dad?
510
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,547
- Sure.
- Thanks.
511
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,132
Morty, are you okay?
512
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:17,550
You know what? Yeah.
513
00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:19,385
I think if dad really
wanted to be here,
514
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,110
he'd stop at nothing
to make that happen.
515
00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:22,781
You know, maybe dad just doesn't
want you back,
516
00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:24,849
or maybe he just doesn't
have the strength to fight.
517
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:27,893
I-In either case,
he's got his life, I got mine.
518
00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:29,812
Yeah.
519
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:32,815
Hey, who wants to go
run in a stream?
520
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,358
What the fuck? No.
521
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:35,735
D-Do we have any oranges?
522
00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:37,987
I think I got
a scurvy coming on.
523
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,490
Summer.
524
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:44,493
This is the first mutant
I killed in the poison zone.
525
00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:46,370
I was raiding his hovel.
526
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,456
He had a chance to escape,
but he looked back,
527
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,332
which is something
we shouldn't do,
528
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:52,918
which is why I shouldn't believe
in souvenirs or trinkets
529
00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:54,587
or symbols
or housewarming gifts,
530
00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:58,924
but, dad, I wanted to give you
this as a reminder...
531
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:00,342
Not to look back.
532
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:01,510
Thanks.
533
00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:03,637
I know the perfect place for it,
534
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:07,016
which is why I'm going to
put it somewhere else...
535
00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:09,894
Because everything's bullshit.
Am I right?
536
00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:13,939
Cool.
537
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:17,234
So... lots of hookers
outside, huh?
538
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,361
Is that what they are?
539
00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:55,606
Aah!
540
00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:57,399
H-Hello there. Nice doggy.
541
00:21:57,525 --> 00:21:58,651
You... you want a snack?
542
00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:00,903
You... you want
my unemployment check?
543
00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:02,672
You can tell the difference?
544
00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:04,174
And you want this one?
545
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,743
But this is actual food,
and this would nourish you.
546
00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:10,788
And this, it's just paper
that only has value to me.
547
00:22:10,913 --> 00:22:12,832
Unless my suffering
is your nourishment?
548
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,544
Jesus. Okay.
549
00:22:26,262 --> 00:22:29,223
Wind: Loser.
38248
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