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1
00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:03,629
Rick: Anyway, that's how
I escaped from space prison!
2
00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:05,005
Oh! Scary place.
3
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:07,925
Wow, Rick! That's... that's
one... one heck of a story.
4
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:10,111
I sure do wish I could've
been there to see it happen.
5
00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:12,054
Oh, come on. Who wants to watch
a mad scientist
6
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,222
use handmade Sci-Fi tools
7
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,015
to take out highly trained
alien guards
8
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:17,351
when we can sit here
and be a family at shoney's?
9
00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:19,978
Dad, it's great to have you
back, no matter where we are.
10
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:21,383
But wouldn't you like
to go home?
11
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,607
Emotionally speaking, honey,
shoney's is my home.
12
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,234
Yeah, but you just got out
of prison.
13
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,653
I mean, how much of a step up
from that is...
14
00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:29,506
Jerry, get out of the booth,
take all your clothes off,
15
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,990
- and fold yourself 12 times.
- You got it.
16
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:38,413
Six folds, huh?
17
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,791
W-What, have you guys got me
in a series 9000?
18
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:42,793
You cheap insect fucks
didn't think I was worth
19
00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:43,794
your best equipment?
20
00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:46,588
Man, I told the money bugs.
21
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,632
I said, "you know
who this guy is, right?
22
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:50,801
You want me to get intel
out of the smartest mammal
23
00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:53,512
in the galaxy, you'd better
give me a decent brainalyzer."
24
00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:55,357
Well, you might as well order
some pancakes,
25
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,367
because I don't see the need
to leave this part of my brain.
26
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:58,850
Oh, I think you do.
27
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:01,120
Eventually, you're either gonna
relax your cerebellum...
28
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:01,853
Shoney's.
29
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,273
Or the series 9000
is going to turn it into mush.
30
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,441
Relaxed enough?
31
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:07,943
I admire you, Rick.
32
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,612
When I...
33
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,197
Rick, here's...
34
00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:17,244
- What's going on?
- It's hard to tell.
35
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:18,996
He may have manifested
some sort of butt.
36
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:19,997
He can do that?
37
00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:22,833
He is the smartest man
in the universe.
38
00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:02,205
I tell you, the galactic
federation taking over earth...
39
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:04,207
Best thing that's ever happened
to this family.
40
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,917
I just got my sixth promotion
this week,
41
00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:07,377
and I still don't know
what I do.
42
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:08,962
Who cares
how high they promote you?
43
00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:10,714
Everyone just gets paid
in pills.
44
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:12,775
Well, when you're not sure
what you do for a living,
45
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,134
you can make your own rules.
46
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:16,219
Summer, show your father
some respect.
47
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,639
He's pulling down
a six-chewable-figure income.
48
00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:20,766
I'll get that in a moment.
49
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:21,892
How are everyone's pills?
50
00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:23,810
Oh, morty, you've hardly touched
your pills.
51
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:25,812
I kind of had big pills
for lunch, and I...
52
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,731
Wasn't gonna eat any more pills.
53
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,150
Thank you, Conroy.
54
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,735
You spoil us, Conroy.
55
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,445
Grandpa Rick wouldn't put up
with this!
56
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,073
Stop saying his name.
He abandoned us.
57
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,366
Willem dafoe!
58
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,826
T-That's the guy I couldn't
think of this morning.
59
00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:41,151
Don't make my mistake, summer.
60
00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:42,996
Don't deify the people
that leave you.
61
00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:46,249
You'll end up a horse surgeon
in a world controlled by aliens
62
00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:49,586
whose medicine keeps horses...
Healthy forever.
63
00:02:50,629 --> 00:02:52,109
Horses live longer
than tortoises now!
64
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,316
Is that what you want
for yourself?
65
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:56,093
Maybe I just want you to care
if I run away yelling!
66
00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:58,053
Who saved room for pill brulée?
67
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,513
Ooh!
68
00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:01,848
I can see why you chose
this family-friendly restaurant
69
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,350
to represent your cerebellum.
70
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:06,603
So safe, so comfortable,
so shoney's.
71
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:09,856
But admit it, Rick... you're
going crazy cooped up in here.
72
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,317
- Let's go visit some memories.
- Oh, any particular ones?
73
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,642
You want to see my first boner
74
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,213
or should we go
straight to the moment
75
00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:17,531
I discovered
interdimensional travel?
76
00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:19,783
Ooh. Your little flappy doodles
are twitching.
77
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:21,719
Does that mean you're aroused,
or did you just get a signal
78
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,221
that one of your buddies found
a grape?
79
00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:24,371
It's arousal.
80
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,456
Yes, I'd like very much
to visit the memory
81
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:27,791
ofyouinvenfing yourponalgun.
82
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:30,210
Yeah. Well, tough titties.
83
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:33,213
There's no tougher titty
than a psychotic break, Rick.
84
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:37,259
Well, that depends on who breaks
first... me or the titty.
85
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:41,304
Someone special you remember?
86
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:42,973
Is that your memory of her
out there...
87
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,391
Between where you were on 9/11
88
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:45,892
and your favorite
sports blooper?
89
00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:51,690
If we stay here, you'll die,
along with all your memories.
90
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,109
If you take me
where I want to go,
91
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,527
she'll be there, too, won't she?
92
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:58,822
The day I invented the portal
gun is the day I lost her.
93
00:03:58,947 --> 00:03:59,823
Oh, that sounds cool.
94
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:02,117
I can get what I want
and you can say goodbye.
95
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,953
Fine, but I'm driving.
96
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,788
As an excuse
to strip away our freedom.
97
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:11,793
Huh? What are you...
What are you doing?
98
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:14,379
Grandpa Rick must have
some secret lab, right?
99
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:17,257
With, like, laser guns
and jets packs and a space tank!
100
00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:18,862
And we can go
break him out of prison!
101
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:19,968
Look at these dead flies!
102
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,612
Maybe if we arrange them
in a certain order,
103
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:23,364
it plays a hologram
or it opens a secret door.
104
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,098
Summer, you're freaking me out!
105
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,326
I know things have changed
a lot, and I know you miss Rick,
106
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,352
but getting him back
wouldn't make things better.
107
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:30,979
And, you know,
we're not doing so bad.
108
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,355
We're miserable, morty!
109
00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:35,734
There's a mandatory curfew,
their weird calendar made me 47,
110
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,652
and they weaponized
the Eiffel Tower!
111
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,197
I like being 35.
H can rent a car now.
112
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:41,322
Because you suck!
113
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:42,967
You've been keeping
your lip zipped about it
114
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:44,785
since grandpa got arrested,
but the fact is,
115
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,661
you're freaking stoked
to bail on him.
116
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,038
He bails on everybody!
117
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:49,664
He bailed on mom
when she was a kid!
118
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,374
He... he bailed on tiny planet!
119
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,269
And in case I never made this
clear to you, summer,
120
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,336
he bailed on you.
121
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,254
He left you to rot
in a world that he ruined
122
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:57,379
because he doesn't care!
123
00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,925
Because nobody's special to him,
summer, not even himself.
124
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:02,761
So if you really want your
grandpa back, grab a shovel.
125
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,597
The one that won't let you down
is buried in your backyard!
126
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:06,722
You're right!
127
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,183
What?! No! I'm not right!
128
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,393
H was using ghoulish overkill!
129
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:11,895
Ghoulish overkill, summer!
130
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:13,355
Summer:
131
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:17,526
Oh, god! Oh, god!
132
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:18,651
Whoa, whoa!
133
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,615
- Where are we going?
- To the day it all began...
134
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:24,616
And ended.
135
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,576
The moment that changed
everything.
136
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,330
Man: Welcome to McDonald's.
Can I take your order?
137
00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:31,972
Yeah, I'd like to get
a 10-piece mcnugget
138
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,875
and, uh, a bunch
of the szechuan sauce.
139
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,645
Like, as much as you're allowed
to give me.
140
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,547
In 1998, they had this promotion
for the Disney film "mulan,"
141
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,756
where they... where they...
142
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:41,591
They created a new sauce
for the McNuggets
143
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,094
called szechuan sauce,
and it's delicious!
144
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,059
And then they got rid of it,
and now it's gone.
145
00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:48,199
The only place we're gonna be
able to try it is in my memory.
146
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:50,159
Rick, you're doing this bit
while your brain is melting.
147
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,560
Okay. All right, all right.
148
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:55,521
Is that...
149
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:58,358
I used to wear blue pants.
150
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,824
When'd you make the leap
to interdimensional travel?
151
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:08,034
I didn't. I did.
152
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:11,162
Well, well, well.
If it isn't us.
153
00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:13,408
You know the worst part
about inventing teleportation?
154
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,101
Suddenly you're able to travel
the whole galaxy,
155
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,352
and the first thing you learn is
156
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,253
you're the last guy
to invent teleportation.
157
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,338
Fortunately,
you're about to invent something
158
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:21,590
much more powerful.
159
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:24,301
What?
160
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:33,018
Summer, nobody has to know
about that.
161
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:35,288
We could put it right back
and pretend we never saw it,
162
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:36,706
like we did
with dad's mannequin leg.
163
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,149
Fine. Stay here.
I'll rescue grandpa myself.
164
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:41,002
- How are you gonna do that?!
- I don't know yet.
165
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:43,486
I'll make it up as I go.
That's what grandpa Rick does.
166
00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:44,946
That's what heroes do.
167
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,471
You want to see
what a hero Rick is?
168
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,617
I-I'll bring you somewhere,
summer!
169
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,119
- Um...
- My goodness, children.
170
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,890
Relinquish
the illegal technology
171
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,749
to the nearest
federation representative.
172
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:59,002
And then
we'll all play balderdash.
173
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,477
Oh, my goodness!
174
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,395
Oh! Oh! My goo...
175
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:22,233
Oh, my god.
176
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,611
I have that exact same top.
177
00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,112
What is this place?
178
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,948
And what's with
"hunger games" summer?
179
00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:31,868
That's my sister.
This used to be my home.
180
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:33,578
Imagine doing anything you want,
181
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,747
then hopping to a timeline
where you never did it.
182
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:38,667
Imagine going anywhere, anytime,
with nobody able to stop you.
183
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,627
- Sounds lonely.
- Lonely?
184
00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:43,338
Dude, you have yourself...
Your infinite selves.
185
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:44,463
It's a nonstop party
186
00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:46,508
where all the guests
are the only person we like.
187
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,319
You think it's cool
being the smartest man on earth,
188
00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:49,779
but once we give you
this technology,
189
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,806
you become the smartest thing
in every conceivable universe...
190
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,225
The infinite Rick, a god.
191
00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:56,350
Enh, pass.
192
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:59,312
Excuse me?
Bro, ricks don't pass on this.
193
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:00,647
Who do you think you are?
194
00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:02,816
A different kind of Rick,
I guess.
195
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:04,651
Well, we'll see how long
that lasts.
196
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:10,740
I heard Sci-Fi noises.
Did you make a breakthrough?
197
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:11,992
Sort of.
198
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:13,576
I just took a long
look at myself,
199
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:16,579
and I don't think this
science thing is gonna pay off.
200
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:19,874
Well, why don't I get Beth
and we'll go out for ice cream?
201
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,043
That, Diane,
is the last great idea
202
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:24,379
that will ever be had
in this garage.
203
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:30,135
Good roasted cronenberg,
I assume.
204
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:33,596
Mom, you're looking... feral.
205
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,224
I can't believe Rick did this.
206
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,827
These are the parts
of Rick's adventures
207
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:40,270
you don't get to see...
The parts he leaves behind.
208
00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:41,855
All right.
It's been great, guys.
209
00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:43,732
Um, I really
only wanted to stop by here
210
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,275
for a quick "I told you so."
211
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,485
- So, uh...
- Looking for this?
212
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,988
- What are you doing with that?!
- It stinks of Rick.
213
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:52,073
No! Why?!
214
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,074
Why would you do that?!
215
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,076
W-What is the matter
with you people?!
216
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,245
You're a bunch
of back savages...
217
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,247
Backwood savage morons!
218
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,667
You can never leave.
She cannot remain.
219
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,627
She stinks of Rick.
220
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,296
- Aah!
- Aah!
221
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,341
Hold your fire! Hold your fire!
I'm morty c-137.
222
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,511
We detected a compromised
portal gun.
223
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,156
- Where is your Rick?
- He's in prison.
224
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:15,805
Summer.
225
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,348
He got captured
by the federation,
226
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:18,767
and we were going to rescue him.
227
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:19,892
Very troubling.
228
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,186
We can't risk citadel secrets
229
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:22,729
falling into
the federation's hands.
230
00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:24,654
We'll dispatch
s.E.A.L. Team ricks immediately
231
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,649
to break into the prison
holding c-137...
232
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:27,609
Boo-yah.
233
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,110
And assassinate him.
234
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:31,279
Boo-nah?
235
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,673
Come on, girls!
236
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,783
The ice cream's gonna melt!
237
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:49,005
No-o-o-o-o-o-o!
238
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,925
Wow.
This sauce is fucking amazing.
239
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,384
You said it was promoting
a movie?
240
00:09:57,639 --> 00:10:00,141
Carry the 3, add a 2.
241
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,309
I got it.
242
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,977
I fucking got it!
243
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,480
Whoa.
I-Is that it... the portal gun?
244
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:06,314
Yeah.
245
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,942
That's the three lines of math
that separates my life as a man
246
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:10,944
from my life
as an unfeeling ghost.
247
00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:12,153
Awesome possum.
248
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,100
Mission control,
you getting this?
249
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:16,449
Holy shit, yes!
250
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:17,909
Yes! We got it!
251
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:18,910
- Yeah! All right!
- Thanks, Rick.
252
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,930
I'll try to remember
to shut off the brainalyzer.
253
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,206
Actually, I think it shuts off
automatically
254
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:24,415
once your brain is liquid.
255
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:25,750
Don't know, don't care.
256
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,794
Pull me out.
257
00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:29,504
Hey, pull me out.
Can you hear me?
258
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,089
Nope, they cannot.
259
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:32,854
- Why not?
- Because the code you uploaded
260
00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,551
wasn't actually
my portal-gun formula.
261
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:37,262
It was a virus giving me full
control over the brainalyzer.
262
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:38,989
What are you talking about?
This is a memory.
263
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,849
Y-You can't alter details
of a memory.
264
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,059
True, but you can alter
anything you want
265
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,770
about a totally fabricated
origin story.
266
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:48,273
It's a trap! Abort!
I'm still in his shoney's!
267
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:50,275
Repeat...
We never left his shoney's!
268
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,360
Mission accomplished, boys.
Pull me out.
269
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,528
Roger that.
270
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,053
Have fun in what's left
of my brain.
271
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,215
I'm gonna transfer to yours.
272
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:58,408
Oh, there's not enough room
for all my genius,
273
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,553
so I'm leaving you with my fear
of wicker furniture,
274
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:01,911
my desire to play the trumpet,
275
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,476
my tentative plans
to purchase a hat,
276
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,039
and six years
of improv workshops.
277
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,791
- Comedy comes in threes.
- It's a trap!
278
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,918
Abort! We never left his...
279
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,259
Rick:
Another day, another dollar.
280
00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,011
Am I a great insect creature
or what?!
281
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,220
Congratulations, agent.
282
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:20,698
You'll be highly commended
for this.
283
00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:22,162
Always wait for permission to
284
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:23,701
Feel accomplishment...
That's my motto.
285
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:25,185
One thing still perplexes me...
286
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,020
Why would Rick Sanchez
turn himself in?
287
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:29,606
Well, I'm just a dumb-ass bug,
but it's possible Rick knew
288
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,211
he'd be interrogated
at this facility,
289
00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:32,794
where we not only keep
our most wanted,
290
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,027
but our most sensitive data.
291
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:36,196
Anyone here with level-9
access could
292
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,989
I don't know.
Collapse the government.
293
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,407
I'm just gonna go take a dump.
294
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,284
Is it cool if I use
the level-9 bathrooms?
295
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,828
W-What's the level-9
master access code again?
296
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,830
Oh, that's easy... 8-3...
297
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,498
Oh, yeah!
298
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,083
S.e.a.I. Team ricks
in the house!
299
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:52,670
Hi, Rick.
300
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:53,795
Bye, Rick.
301
00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,886
D-99, y-you okay?
302
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,515
I'm bummed I didn't get to give
that insect dick a test drive.
303
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:06,368
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
T-The council of ricks sent us.
304
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:07,602
We have your morty and summer.
305
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,062
They're prisoners
on the citadel.
306
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:10,187
Great.
307
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,690
Security breach in room 6755.
308
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:13,524
Lovely.
309
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,486
Not only is my plan screwed up,
I also forgot how to improvise.
310
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,529
All security people approach.
311
00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:20,698
Security breach.
312
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:28,456
A city of grandpas?
313
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:29,958
Morty:
It's the citadel of ricks.
314
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,186
All the different ricks
from all the different realities
315
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:33,896
got together to hide here
from the government.
316
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,630
But if every Rick hates
the government,
317
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:36,881
why would they hate grandpa?
318
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:38,883
Because ricks hate themselves
the most.
319
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,511
And our Rick is the most...
Himself.
320
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:42,679
Not anymore, homey.
321
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,389
S.e.a.I. Team ricks
turned his unibrow
322
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,516
into two brows... with a bullet.
323
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:50,812
Your Rick's dead!
Your Rick's dead!
324
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:56,526
Sir, Rick d-99 is returning
from the mission alone.
325
00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:59,153
Apparently, s.E.A.L. Team ricks
suffered heavy casualties.
326
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,154
Bring him in.
327
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,491
He says he'll only talk
to a Rick with higher clearance.
328
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,535
La-di-da. Give me that.
329
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:08,997
D-99, this is the commander in
chief of the citadel's militia.
330
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,290
Go... Good enough.
331
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:15,586
He's a spy. Blow him up.
I'm gonna go take a shit.
332
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:17,714
Operating an unregistered
portal gun,
333
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:19,382
radicalizing a summer,
334
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:21,092
conspiring
with a traitorous Rick.
335
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,093
How do you plead?
336
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:23,553
How is this a fair trial?
337
00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:25,179
O-Our lawyer is a morty!
338
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,545
It's not fair, you have no
rights, and he's not a lawyer.
339
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,225
We just keep him here
because he's fun.
340
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,476
Look at him go.
341
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:31,728
Yeah!
342
00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:34,188
We'll be lenient
if you renounce your Rick.
343
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,690
What say you, summer?
344
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,609
I say fuck you!
My grandpa was my hero.
345
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,462
You killed him
because you were jealous of him.
346
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,113
That's pretty obvious
from the haircuts.
347
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,407
So do what you want to me,
but let my brother go.
348
00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:45,950
He already renounced Rick.
349
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:46,701
M o rty?
350
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,578
What?
351
00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:51,164
N-No, I don't want to see
your pog collection.
352
00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:53,541
I don't renounce Rick,
and I never have.
353
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,044
I was just trying to protect
my sister.
354
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,712
I wanted you to have
a normal life.
355
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,773
That's something you can't have
when Rick shows up.
356
00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:02,467
Everything real turns fake.
Everything right is wrong.
357
00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,987
All you know is that you know
nothing and he knows everything.
358
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,972
And, well... well, he's not
a villain, summer,
359
00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:09,766
but he shouldn't be your hero.
360
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:13,102
He's more like a demon
or a super fucked-up god.
361
00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:15,229
Let's not suck the ghost
of his dick too hard.
362
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,231
He was a terrorist,
and now he's dead.
363
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,209
Oh, yeah? If you think
my Rick's dead, he's alive!
364
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,193
And if you think you're safe,
he's coming for you!
365
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,910
Hey! Whoa, whoa!
What are you doing in here?
366
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,329
This area is for teleporting
the entire citadel
367
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,915
to somewhere else
using only buttons and dials.
368
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,583
Yeah? Well, it's a bad idea
369
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,503
to have it designed that way
then, isn't it?
370
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:45,694
What the fuck?
371
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,096
We just teleported into
a galactic federal prison!
372
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,640
I'm gonna go take a shit.
373
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:52,517
Order in the court!
Whoa! What the hell?!
374
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:53,642
Oh, my god!
375
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:57,397
Aah!
376
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:58,940
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
No, no, no!
377
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,986
Whoa!
378
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:05,904
Whoa!
379
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:17,250
The citadel has been teleported
to federation space.
380
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:19,961
It's doomed.
This has to be c-137, you guys.
381
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:21,522
- What are we gonna do?!
- You know he's coming for us.
382
00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:23,673
All right! Calm down!
We have his summer as a hostage.
383
00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:24,924
Obviously, I get her.
384
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:27,343
You guys play Rick, laser,
scissors for the morty.
385
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:30,304
W-What the hell is that?
386
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,390
Payback.
387
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,977
Grandpa Rick!
388
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,728
- Duh.
- You're alive!
389
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:38,938
- Rick!
- Morty, take this.
390
00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:41,315
You're gonna need it later.
391
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,195
Hold on. Hold on. Whoa!
392
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,072
Council member:
That's enough, Rick.
393
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:49,877
What... what's this
supposed to accomplish?
394
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,075
We have infinite grandkids.
395
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,661
You're trying to use Disney
bucks at a Caesars Palace here.
396
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,122
That's a bluff.
He's bluffing, sir. He loves me.
397
00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:58,791
You're a rogue Rick...
Irrational, passionate.
398
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:01,544
You love your grandkids.
You came to rescue them.
399
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:03,463
I came to kill you, bro.
400
00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:05,006
That's not even
my original summer.
401
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,817
Oh, my god. He's not bluffing.
He's not bluffing!
402
00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:08,676
- R-Rick?
- Why not shoot through her?
403
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,928
Twenty yards,
nine-Gauge plasma pistol.
404
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:13,473
My first shot would quuify
her insides and injure you,
405
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:14,765
second shot adds recoil.
406
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,211
The risk to me is minimized
if I wait for you to shoot her,
407
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,603
which I'm encouraging you to do.
408
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,188
- What the fuck?!
- Or let her go,
409
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,913
which I will reward
with a quicker death.
410
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,065
Because you love her!
411
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:26,319
Because it's incentive for you
to give me my cleanest shot,
412
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:28,112
which will be
your least painful death.
413
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,740
But if you want to die slower
than that, I'm super into it.
414
00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:32,468
All you got to do to get
that started is kill the girl.
415
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,785
- I hate you!
- Not an issue, sweetie.
416
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,829
That's enough!
Drop the gun, Rick!
417
00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,674
Morty, I know you're too stupid
to get this,
418
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:40,309
but you're really
fucking this up right now.
419
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,876
I'm not letting you let
my sister die!
420
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:42,877
Drop the gun!
421
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,802
I wasn't gonna let her die,
you fucking moron!
422
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:47,715
The point is he thought
I was going to.
423
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,510
I totally did, by the way.
You're a fucking moron, morty.
424
00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:51,886
Morty, you fucking idiot!
425
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,731
Rick: You're a serious
fucking idiot, morty!
426
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:54,948
You basically killed us all!
427
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,972
- You're the worst!
- You're dumb as a bag of sand!
428
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,232
Who's stupid now, bitch?!
429
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,025
Morty! We just got him back!
430
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:08,611
That was amazing, morty.
431
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,112
Oh, my god. Wow.
432
00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:11,822
Okay. Let's wrap this...
433
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:14,909
Good job, morty. Let's go, kids.
434
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,285
What?! What happened?
435
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:17,912
Oldest Rick trick in the book.
436
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,956
"Fake gun.
Shoot me in standoff."
437
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,541
- Brilliant!
- Ha! Yeah.
438
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:24,001
G-Good thing I saw that note.
439
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,884
Couldn't we just portal home?
440
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:33,386
Not until I finish
what I started.
441
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:37,682
And that is how you get level-9
access without a password.
442
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:39,642
Freeze!
443
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,852
Employee of the month,
ladies and gentlemen.
444
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:44,021
So what are you doing
with level-9 access anyways?
445
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,826
Destroying the
galactic government.
446
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:46,941
- Awesome!
- Whoa! Cool!
447
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,086
Are you going to set all their
nukes to target each other?
448
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,837
Ooh, or... or reprogram
their military portals
449
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,422
to disintegrate
their entire space fleet?
450
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:54,365
Good pitches, kids.
I'm almost proud.
451
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,659
But watch closely
as grandpa topples an empire
452
00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:59,870
by changing a one... to a zero.
453
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,352
Mr. President, the blemflarck's
value just dropped to nothing.
454
00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:06,502
What do you mean?
455
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,754
I mean our single centralized
galactic currency
456
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:12,633
just went from being worth one
of itself to zero of itself.
457
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,468
- Dear god, no.
- Calm down, people.
458
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,634
Deploy the galactic militia
and declare martial law.
459
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:17,597
Yes, sir.
460
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,432
Uh, what should I pay them with?
461
00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:22,518
Their payment is the honor
they'll feel to serve their...
462
00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,645
Wait. Who's paying me
to yell at this guy?
463
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,064
I can answer that... for money.
464
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:28,667
I never thought I'd live
to see this day.
465
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:29,900
Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
466
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:32,486
There's a solution here
you're not seeing.
467
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,533
- Give me your jacket!
- Give me those pants!
468
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,335
I want more jackets!
469
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:50,004
He who controls the pants
controls the galaxy!
470
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:08,230
No longer will the insects
have domain over surface world!
471
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:18,449
Jerry, what the hell
is happening?!
472
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,284
The galactic government
cohapsed.
473
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:21,744
- Are you okay?
- Look.
474
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:23,430
I'm not proud to share this,
but the truth is,
475
00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:25,247
I just kept crawling,
and it kept working.
476
00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:27,213
Oh, I'm glad you're okay.
477
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:31,087
Are we ever going to stop paying
for indulging your father?
478
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:33,923
Our children, our planet,
our jobs.
479
00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:35,549
Is there anything left to lose?
480
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,885
Just each other,
and I'll never let you go.
481
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:41,013
And I'm so sorry
I ever did this to us.
482
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:43,808
Guess who dismantled
the government.
483
00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:45,973
- Please don't leave me again.
- I never will, baby.
484
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,820
I was right!
He turned himself in on purpose!
485
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:49,397
It was all part of his plan!
486
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:50,916
Jerry, is there any light beer
left?
487
00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:52,608
It's insane what you miss
in prison.
488
00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:54,485
Um, okay.
489
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:56,570
No, no, no. Foot-down time.
490
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,114
No. You're right.
Where's the vodka?
491
00:19:58,239 --> 00:20:00,783
Beth, it's him or me!
492
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,330
Seems like you guys need
some privacy.
493
00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:08,457
I'll, uh, I'll be in the garage.
494
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:14,004
What the fuck?! Not cool, Jerry!
495
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,424
A man's garage is his castle.
496
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:28,436
Jerry's going to spend
some time... divorced.
497
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,396
Oh. Oh, i-I'm sorry
to hear that, sweetie.
498
00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:32,106
I hope I had nothing
to do with that.
499
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,608
Oh, god. Dad, that is not
your burden to bear.
500
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,445
I feel terrible
that I misjudged you.
501
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:39,155
This is gonna be good for Jerry.
502
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,198
- For everybody.
- For everybody.
503
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:44,410
I better tend to Jerry
504
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:47,079
before he changes his mind
and doesn't move out.
505
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:49,165
I will leave you two
to your adventures.
506
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:50,082
Oh, my god.
507
00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:52,376
Nancy says they're drawing
and quartering aliens
508
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:53,544
in the school courtyard,
509
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:55,838
and it technically counts
as patriotism.
510
00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:58,799
Geez! Are my parents seriously
gonna get divorced?
511
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,235
All right, Rick.
I'm gonna go to my... gah!
512
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,969
Not so fast, morty.
You heard your mom.
513
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,638
We've got adventures to go on,
morty, just you and me.
514
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,684
And sometimes your sister
and sometimes your mom,
515
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:07,807
butneveryourdad.
516
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:09,852
You want to know why, morty?
Because he crossed me.
517
00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:11,687
Okay. Take it easy, Rick.
T-That's dark.
518
00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:12,980
Oh, it gets darker, morty.
519
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:15,065
Welcome to the darkest year
of our adventures.
520
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,376
First thing that's different...
521
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,627
- No more dad, morty.
- Oh, geez.
522
00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:19,171
He threatened to turn me in
to the government,
523
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,946
so I made him and the government
go away.
524
00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:21,864
Oh, fuck.
525
00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:24,825
I've replaced them both
as the de facto patriarch
526
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,660
of your family
and your universe.
527
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:27,929
Your mom wouldn't have
accepted me
528
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:29,473
if I came home without you
and your sister,
529
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:31,297
so now you know the real reason
I rescued you.
530
00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:32,775
I just took over the family,
morty,
531
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,644
and if you tell your mom
or sister I said any of this,
532
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:36,212
I'll deny it,
and they'll take my side
533
00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:37,377
because I'm a hero, morty.
534
00:21:37,421 --> 00:21:39,608
Now you're gonna have to go
and do whatever I say, morty,
535
00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:40,341
forever!
536
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:42,319
And I'll... I'll go out
and I'll find some more of that
537
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:45,095
"mulan" szechuan teriyaki
dipping sauce, morty.
538
00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:46,531
- What are you talking about?
- Because that's...
539
00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:47,866
That's what this is all about,
morty!
540
00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:49,370
- Szechuan?
- That's my one-armed man!
541
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:51,395
I'm not driven by avenging
my dead family, morty!
542
00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:52,311
That was fake!
543
00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:54,396
I-I'm driven by finding
that mcnugget sauce.
544
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:56,162
I want that "mulan"
mcnugget sauce, morty!
545
00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:57,959
- That's my series arc, morty!
- What the hell?
546
00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,170
If it takes nine seasons, I want
my mcnugget dipping sauce...
547
00:22:00,194 --> 00:22:02,130
- Szechuan sauce, morty.
- What are you talking about?
548
00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:03,173
That's what's gonna take us
549
00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:05,217
- all the way to the end, morty.
- What are you talking about?!
550
00:22:05,241 --> 00:22:06,367
Nine more seasons, morty.
551
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:08,911
Nine more seasons until I get
that dipping szechuan sauce.
552
00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:10,756
- What is that?!
- For 97 more years, morty!
553
00:22:10,788 --> 00:22:11,664
What are you talking about?!
554
00:22:11,789 --> 00:22:13,749
I want that mcnugget sauce,
morty!
555
00:22:49,076 --> 00:22:49,952
Isitready?
556
00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:51,745
Yes. We can bring it online now.
557
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:52,955
Do it.
558
00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:59,295
I am Phoenix person.
559
00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:01,064
Phoenix person?
Is that what we settled on?
560
00:23:01,088 --> 00:23:02,965
I thought we all agreed
on cyber bird.
561
00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:04,925
Y-You said you didn't care
what he was called
562
00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:06,343
as long as we brought him back.
563
00:23:06,468 --> 00:23:07,803
Yeah, but Phoenix person?
564
00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:09,263
Fine. Fuck it. Who cares?
565
00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:14,143
Ka-kaw!
40771
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