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♪ Murder most horrid. ♪
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People of Panador,
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the eyes of the world are upon us.
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In two days' time, in front of
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we, the People's Republic of
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shall present to the world a popular
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who has captured the imaginations
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and we shall execute him.
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So, let us try and make
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It's gonna be bigger than OJ.
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We are talking
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We are talking video sales.
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We are talking movies.
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Me too. Plenty!
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We too are excited.
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You will be executing him live,
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Quite. Gives it
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And we like this guy... a lot.
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He's sexy.
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He's been on every chat show
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People'll tune in to see him croak.
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Nice choice.
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However, on a less pleasant note,
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I believe you've had difficulty
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I didn't know that. Yvonne!
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I present this show. I need someone
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You must understand, there is still
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He tested well in our focus groups.
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There is concern about being known
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We've arranged, therefore,
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Pasa la pasta.
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Benjamin Trethansis. He's a good
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Pity... We would
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A woman?! A woman executioner?
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Oh, that's great. I like it.
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It's sexy... But we shouldn't
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Mr Hoffmeyer, where would
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Daisy?
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What is it?
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Franklin wants to see you.
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Sorry.
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SHE KNOCKS
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Mr Franklin, Bill said...
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Cheers. Thanks a lot.
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So, how's life
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Oh, we've got rid of most of it,
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I believe you're off on holiday
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But don't worry, I'll be back.
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Yeah. Why does someone like you
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Ah, well...
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So I've heard.
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I wanted to work
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The reason I ask
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How can I put this?
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...a lower than average kill rate.
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Well, I am a bit clumsy with the
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I mean, it's not helping anyone
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I've been looking
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In the last fortnight
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Well... I'm sorry!
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You're letting me go, aren't you?
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I'm very fond of you.
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But you should
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Have the others been complaining?
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I keep my finger on the pulse
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I'm sorry.
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BLEATING
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Ah, sweetheart.
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Goodbye, babe.
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Ladies and gentlemen,
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We are currently
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Those on the left of the aircraft
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We should be landing in...
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Sorry, that's probably
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I'm sorry? Just saying
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Oh, you're the cook!
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A lot of our stuff ends up
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Isn't that nice? Yeah.
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So, what d'you think?
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It's very nice.
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Well, perhaps a little tough.
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Something wrong?
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It just... a little difficult,
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You don't need to worry.
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I'm sure. They don't feel a thing.
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I do understand.
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That piece comes from...
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Oh... Oh, sorry!
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People have a problem
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I have to deal with
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I have just lost my job,
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Please, I don't mean to offend.
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Yeah, well.
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As a matter of fact
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I happen to be in the
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Are you really?! 'Fraid so.
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What, with us next to each other?!
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Absolutely.
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Why are you queasy about the meat?
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No, I know what you mean.
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Oh, well look.
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Daisy, right. Daisy Talwinning.
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Benjemin Trethansis.
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I think I can manage a little more.
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Professional courtesy.
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And I'll shut up, eh?
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Yeah, right.
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CROAKS AND SPLUTTERS
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You're not choking, are you?
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How embarrassing! 'Scuse me!
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He's choking. Do you know the
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You all right, mate?
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IS THERE A DOCTOR?! Don't panic.
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Miss Talwinning?
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Don't blame yourself.
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He choked. On the meat, he choked.
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Actually... Actually, he didn't.
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What? He didn't choke on his food.
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Don't tell anyone I told you this
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0but apparently he choked
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...wristwatch.
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Oh, excuse me.
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Ain't you been told?
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Ain't you
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Oh!
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Don't you speak English? Que?
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Que?
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He won't be coming!
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Cos he's dead.
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Yeah, Trathansis. He died!
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He's completely, you know?
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You do understand me, don't you?
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Trethansis...
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choked on the plane.
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Where you going with that?
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What's wrong?
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It wasn't my fault. He choked!
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Don't hurt me!
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Please! Please!
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I'll come quietly.
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What's happening now?
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Que?
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Mr Hoffmeyer?
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Don't ask me how,
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Great. That's excellent.
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Get the bitch here!
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Mr Maddox, don't ask me how,
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Book the bitch!
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I did it!
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Welcome to Panador.
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Better for the job.
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Job?
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This is General Alberto,
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No... Is it?!
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Right, well, look...
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It's a pleasure to work with you
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Please, please!
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Sit!
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Ooh! Cheers. Cheers, yeah.
We might have crossed wires,
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We might have crossed wires,
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Of course you are.
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Thanks, babe. Great.
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In England no-one cares what I do,
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it's more popular, my line of work.
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I'm Daniel Hoffmeyer. Hi.
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I'll be coordinating the broadcast.
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This is Yvonne. She'll be
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We'll translate
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Hi. Right, hi. Cheers.
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It's really great you're
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This is a press pack with clippings
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Can I just say,
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We should keep that.
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Can I ask exactly what kind
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Exactly! What kind of an animal?
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Yeah, what kind?
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A pig!
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I'm best with pigs. Great!
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Would you mind if we got
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All right, yeah. Good here, innit?
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It's important
in a civilised, tasteful
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in a civilised, tasteful
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Absolutely. I'm right with you.
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You'd be surprised
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Civilised, tasteful and humane.
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Well, just a few points of protocol
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Yeah.
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Right. Well... I was thinking...
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How 'bout sausages?
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That is
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Where I come from it is, anyway.
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We have a sausage barbecue
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We could have a recipe feature.
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Yeah!
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I don't know where you're going
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Right, all I'm saying is...
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Oh, sorry.
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Er... hello there.
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Is there a problem?
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Er... no. No.
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What is this talk of sausages?
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Er... Oh, that!
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Ha ha ha! It's just a little joke!
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Miss Talwinning,
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That's him, yeah.
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Right... Right, well, got it.
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Right, well, cheers. Thanks a lot.
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I'll get back to you
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I'll get back to you
GUN IS COCKED
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What is going on here?!
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Estimate! Sausages!
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This must be resolved now.
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Right, well, fair enough.
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Well, in that case...
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What do you mean you can't?!
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Er... obviously yes, but I...
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Miss Talwinning,
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Are you telling me
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'It became clear to Aylesbury...'
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'Other males associate with her...'
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'Rebel leader Raul Menandes
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wanted to publicise
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'Well, today he's finally made it.'
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KEYS JANGLE
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Hello.
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I'll be your executioner for today.
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I see.
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It's nice here, isn't it? Bit damp.
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So, is this... er... like...
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is this your first live TV?
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Yes. Yes, it is. Yes.
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You... um... you nervous?
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I don't plan on making it a career.
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This is not
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But you play fair by me and I'll...
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Gas me to death? Yeah.
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Look, here's how it is.
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as part of a big team,
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DOOR CLANGS
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See that bloke there?
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It's spelt with a J, but they say
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He's there in case anything
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You're killing me.
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SHE SOBS
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Excuse me.
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Are you all right?
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Sorry. I'm sorry.
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What is your name?
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Daisy, I am happy to die
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Are you? Yes. God, you're so brave.
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Thank you.
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I think we'd better go.
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All right, yeah.
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I can't! I can't do it!
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Would it help to use the blindfold?
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Thanks so much. That's brilliant!
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Oh, yeah. Course.
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Sorry. That's stupid, embarrassing.
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Now, I'm afraid it is time to go.
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Right... Oh, no! I'm going again!
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I'll be with you
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All right, you promise?
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This is the first time
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You'd never guess. You're
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Come on.
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I can't. Come on.
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We are making a statement
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This regime means business.
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Well that's great!
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And you've got your entire
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'Yes, indeed-ee. These are my boys!'
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'Aren't you handsome
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There's one little question
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I've got to ask.
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People want to know, General,
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What?
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RECORD!
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When's that being released?
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I think the main party's arriving.
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'Yes! Here they come!'
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'That's Raul Menandes, the rebel
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'Our executioner
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We were hoping
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but General Alberto feels
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But I think I can confidently say
286
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:40,999
Let's have a quick word with
287
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,159
Feeling confident?
288
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,959
I think so. Can you handle him?
289
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:50,639
Pretty much, yeah.
290
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,959
No, I work with animals. Animals?
291
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:55,959
Yeah, farm animals.
292
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:59,959
Is there much demand for that?
293
00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:03,159
You must know
294
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:05,959
I do, actually. Yeah, I do.
295
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,959
We're just about ready back there.
296
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:16,959
Before we go on, I want to add
297
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,959
Don't try this at home.
298
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,959
'Daisy, if you'd like
299
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,959
Right, well... um...
300
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:29,959
in this dish
301
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:32,959
Come on, Daisy. You can do it!
302
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,959
There's one of these
303
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,959
Yeah, and when I release the lever
304
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:42,959
one of those pellets
305
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:46,959
Releasing the fumes of death.
306
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:51,959
Can we have a look at one of those?
307
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,959
They're pretty horrible, I'm afraid.
308
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:56,959
I've got to be careful.
309
00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:02,959
GET ON WITH IT!
310
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:05,959
I've got my watch on!
311
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,959
I don't know how they make them.
312
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,319
I'm wearing my watch!
313
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,959
SEAL THE STUDIO!
314
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:21,999
She's gonna kill everyone.
315
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:42,959
SHE MOUTHS
316
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,159
Oh, of course.
317
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,959
Do you want me to cut? No way!
318
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,159
Gallery? Can you hear me?!
319
00:24:57,960 --> 00:24:59,959
SHE MOUTHS
320
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:17,959
Put him at the front! What? For the
321
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:20,959
There's no room!
322
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:36,959
Won't the gun break the glass?
323
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:41,159
You can't open it! The gas!
324
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,959
No, no, no. It's all right. Breathe.
325
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:53,799
See, it's all right.
326
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,959
You're free, you see!
327
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:02,959
SHE MOUTHS
328
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:08,959
Of course! The pellets
329
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,959
They said it was dangerous! As if!
330
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,959
You mean the entire
331
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:18,159
has humiliated itself
332
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:20,959
Cut!
333
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,319
Cut the camera!
334
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,959
CUT THE CAMERA!
335
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:53,959
Darling!
336
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:57,959
Darling!
337
00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:01,959
Darling, wonderful news!
338
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:07,959
We've seized the last
339
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,959
Now his evil regime is at an end.
340
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,959
Ah, that's great.
341
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:16,799
Think you'll execute them all?
342
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,959
Good, cos there's
343
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:25,959
Well, there's a lot of them to do,
344
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:32,799
Wherever did you find him?
345
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:37,159
Oh, we've got rid
346
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:42,639
I've invited our guest to dinner.
347
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:45,959
Two of my
348
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:49,959
D'you know what?
349
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,959
♪ Murder most horrid!
350
00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:00,959
♪ As soft as the smoke from a barrel
351
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,159
♪ As cold as the blade of the knife
352
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,959
♪ She's a stranger
353
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,959
♪ A caress could cost you your life
354
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,479
♪ And you wake in the night
355
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:20,959
♪ La-la-la-la lorrid!
22218
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